Chapter Text
Alex could hardly believe what she’d just heard.
“Wait,” she said, holding her hands up. “Wait wait wait. His name’s Steve?”
Herobrine looked at her oddly. “…Yes?”
Her heart was beating a mile a minute as her minded connected the dots almost too quickly for her to register. Steve had moved to Lilac a little under three years ago. And he never accepted an invitation to the Nether, even seemed to actively avoid it. Nothing wrong with that of course, plenty of people shied away from even just the thought of the hellishly hot dimension, but now that she knew Herobrine was here, and so close to the Lilac portal…in fact, the Harbor portal wasn’t too far away either. Herobrine’s fortress was just about in the middle between both portals. Did Steve originally leave Harbor to get away from it? Did he even know the Lilac portal was just as close to the fortress as the Harbor one?
“Does he have dark brown hair? And—purple eyes?”
Herobrine raised his brows, as if impressed at her accurate description. “You know of him,” he stated. She almost laughed at the chances.
“More than that, he’s like my best friend,” she revealed, and Herobrine’s eyes widened.
“That is…”
She crossed her arms and smiled. It may have appeared a little unhinged. “Fucking weird?”
“I was going to say fortunate.”
She laughed and bolted into motion, pacing back and forth in front of him. “Oh boy, oh boy this is just too much. I can’t believe that you—and he! Oh, he has so much explaining to do, that little…bastard…” She trailed off at the end, shaking her head. How could he not tell her? She felt outraged. She told him everything! Where were her stories of secret liaisons and blatant rule breaking?
“So he never said anything.”
Alex snapped out of her thoughts at the defeated tone of Herobrine’s words. He wasn’t looking at her, instead his saddened gaze was fixed out the window overlooking the lava lake the fortress was built over. Her heart ached in sympathy, and her manic pacing slowed to a stop. With a quiet sigh, Herobrine turned around and walked back to the throne, sitting heavily upon it. He stared down at his hand for a few moments before a bottle appeared in a flash. Alex opened her mouth to stop him but held herself back, knowing there was a lot more hurt here than she had previously thought. She understood, now, why he was drinking. There had to have been a better way to forget but clearly he hadn’t found it.
After a few seconds he merely sat the bottle on the arm of the throne and leaned back. At that moment Alex felt like she had to say something or she’d miss her chance to convince him not to start drinking again.
“…No, but he’s doing fine!” She rushed to tell him, suddenly feeling like Herobrine was on the edge of slipping back into the state she’d found him in. But though he’d summoned a bottle, maybe he would think more on it, because he still wasn’t drinking it. She hoped. “He moved to Lilac—my village, about three years ago, and runs a shop there. As far as I know he’s been single the whole time, and I’ve seen him turn down everyone interested in him. Maybe…” Maybe what, idiot? Her mind snapped at her. Maybe he still loves Herobrine? Then why’d he leave in the first place? And why hadn’t he been back?
Well, she didn’t think Herobrine was going to tell her, not now. She’d have to try her luck with Steve but grimaced at the mere thought. That conversation was not going to go well. Steve was going to chew her out for visiting the fortress when everyone knew not too, then he was going to chew her out even more for actively befriending the reason she wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place. At least she had something to snap back at him—hadn’t he done the same thing? Only worse, if those rings implied? At least she wasn’t sneaking into the Nether to have an affair with a God.
…Damn that sounded cool though.
“I—I can talk to him!” She offered, when Herobrine remained silent. She didn’t like the look on his face, the way his posture sagged, like his mind was made up and he would choose to fall back into his destructive habit. Surely, surely if Steve knew Herobrine was like this, he would care? Even three years later, to be so in love to have rings made…
“Yeah, I’ll talk to him,” she decided, nodding. Herobrine, still, was silent. She gathered all her stuff and made her way out, looking over her shoulder when she got to the door. Herobrine had picked up the alcohol and had his head tipped back as he drained its contents. She bit her lip and practically ran to the portal.
Once she was in Lilac, her frazzled mind struggled to focus on one thing at a time. Muscle memory was urging her to her house to drop off her things, but she forced herself to go straight to Steve’s shop. It was a simple little store sandwiched between Melody’s dye shop and the library. He ran a repair service, and sometimes built furniture, when it was needed. An odd job, she’d thought when she met him, because she could see the adventurer’s spirit clear as day in him, but he rarely traveled except to get wood from the neighboring biomes and never went to the Nether, so something was clearly holding him back. Or, as she knew now, someone.
She ran straight from the portal to his store, bursting through the door and making it slam loudly against the wall. Luckily the lobby was empty, but Steve had his back to her behind the counter and startled bad at her arrival, whipping around with a hand on his chest only to sigh once he saw it was her.
“Gods Alex, don’t scare me like that!” He said it lightly, a small smile on his face because it was her, but it faded as he took in the sight of her flustered appearance. He came around the counter as she shut the door and took a few steps inside.
“Alex? What’s wrong?” He asked. She knew how she probably looked—eyes wild, face flushed, hair wind-swept. He probably thought she’d narrowly escaped mobs or something to that effect.
She didn’t know where to begin. I’ve been going to that fortress, you know the one everyone says to avoid? Yeah, and you have some questions to answer buddy. But the words wouldn’t come. Her previous disbelief and excitement about finding out Steve had been in a relationship with Herobrine before he’d even met her was fading as logic and decorum took hold of her.
“S-Sorry,” she finally managed to force out, taking deep breaths as her brief burst of adrenaline sizzled away. “I just…had a bad feeling but everything’s fine.”
He raised a brow but didn’t comment, instead reaching behind the counter and pulling out a water bottle, which he handed to her. “Here. You look like you need it.”
She took it and downed it greedily. She appreciated water now more than ever, since she spent so much time in the Nether. It made her crave it like nothing else.
“Thanks,” she gasped once finished, handing it back to him. “Sorry again, I don’t know what came over me.”
“It’s alright. I’ve grown used to your…” He pursed his lips as if thinking of what word exactly he wanted to use and it worked to pull her out of her thoughts a bit. A small smile tugged at her lips as she narrowed her eyes.
“My what, huh? Watch it pal.”
He laughed and the sound brought a proper smile to her face.
“Your eccentricities, of course.”
“Yeah nice save.”
She stayed a little to chat and catch up, as she often did, then feigned not feeling well and went home. That night, as she lay wide awake in bed and stared up at the ceiling, she thought about how, exactly, she wanted to proceed.
She couldn’t just blurt it out, that’d be the worse way to reveal she knew about Herobrine. She had to be subtle about it—really ease into the subject. She hadn’t lied to Herobrine when she’d said Steve turned down anyone who asked him out because he did. She hadn’t cared to ask before, assuming maybe Steve was asexual or just plain not interested, but now she thought maybe she should ask. It might be a good place to start.
The following day, she forewent her now daily trip to the Nether to hang out with Steve. He would let her into the backroom to talk while he repaired or built whatever was on his docket for the day. Sometimes she’d just bring a book or two and read, grateful to have a friend like Steve who didn’t always expect or demand verbal attention. Their company was enough for the other.
But today she started a fairly light conversation that she quickly diverted to talk about her own past loves, fibbing to say she’d recently encountered one of her long time exes.
“He was cool, you know, didn’t hold any hard feelings, which is why I think it went so smooth. Kinda reminded me why I dated him in the first place.” Steve made a noncommittal sound as he fitted the legs to the chair he was building, not really listening as Alex talked. Alex didn’t mind though, at least they were on the subject.
“What about you?” She said, finally deciding to turn the conversation towards him. She tried to sound nonchalant, but her heart was pounding in her chest. The thing was that she knew Steve had at least one past relationship, but was he going to allude to it or pretend it never happened? If he did, she didn’t know how she was going to convince Steve to go see Herobrine. Even if Herobrine had admitted to being the reason why they weren’t together anymore, why did he have rings then? Were they promise rings or the real deal? Had Herobrine made them himself, after they’d broken up? Did Steve even know about them?
There were a lot of unknowns Alex was trying to maneuver around. Hopefully she didn’t end up putting her foot in her mouth and ruin things further. The last thing she wanted was Steve getting angry and marching to the Nether to confront Herobrine, instead of go there with good intentions. If that was even possible. She sincerely hoped so—Steve was her best friend, and Herobrine had become a good friend of hers. Despite not knowing exactly why they weren’t together, if there was a way to get Steve to consider taking Herobrine back knowing how distraught he was about their break-up, she’d like to find it.
“Hm?” He hummed, not even looking up at her. She smiled a little, swinging her legs under the table she was sitting on.
“You know, for as long as we’ve been friends, you’ve never told me about any of your relationships. Come on, you know me, I need those juice deets.”
Steve glanced up at her, his expression mixed between reluctance and exasperation. “I’m sorry to disappoint you then.”
She sighed dramatically. “I’ll just have to make something up then,” she said cheerfully, putting a hand on her chin. “Let’s see…you got a girl pregnant and ran away from home, only to find out the kid wasn’t yours.”
“Alex!” Steve cried, staring in disbelief at her with red cheeks. “No!”
“No? Hm…oh! I know!” She snapped her fingers together as if she had an epiphany. “You had a sugar daddy and when you wanted to break it off he wouldn’t let you so you changed your name and moved villages.”
“No!”
“…you were a sugar daddy?”
“Okay, stop, if I tell you will you stop?”
She nodded eagerly, leaning forward on table while he sighed and stood, stretching his back before picking up a cloth to wipe his hands.
“I…” He hesitated, and Alex hoped it wasn’t to formulate a lie. Who knew, after three years, maybe he had come up with a version of his past relationship that wouldn’t freak people out. “I’ve been in one relationship before. I’m not really a people person, you know me, but with him…I don’t know, things were different. He was…” And here Steve smiled a bit. “I guess you could consider him a ‘bad boy.’ He was definitely a rule breaker, and rough around the edges.”
“He sounds fun,” she said, and so far so good. He was describing Herobrine without really describing him, but she could tell because she knew them both. “What happened then?”
Steve’s small smile faded. He was lost in thought for a bit before he answered her. “He became borderline obsessive, and was extremely jealous. I couldn’t even visit my family without him remarking on it. I knew that he was lonely, but it got to the point I feared—“ Steve snapped his mouth shut, frowning. All of Alex’s good mood had been thoroughly dampened. That sounded less like the Herobrine she knew, though he had said he’d ruined everything with his selfishness and arrogance. She wondered what Steve was about to say. He feared what? That Herobrine would hurt him? Or perhaps keep him in the Nether? Anything she thought of sounded ridiculous. Herobrine had spent three years drinking to try and forget Steve, and yet kept two gold rings around his neck. No wonder he was so messed up by what happened, if the depths of his own feelings had been what drove Steve away in the first place. After all, Herobrine wasn’t ever known to be a gentle soul. Maybe he’d just reacted badly to his own positive feelings of love and happiness?
She felt bad for him, and it only strengthened her conviction to reunite them. Steve’s smile when he talked about Herobrine gave her hope as well.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said honestly. Steve blinked and took a deep breath, looking up at her. “I wish things had turned out differently for you.” More than you know, she thought to herself, then nearly had a heart attack when Steve said, almost too quietly for her to hear, “Me too.”
But she had heard it.
“Do you still love him?” She braved to ask. “Is that why you turn everyone down?” Her heart was beating so hard in her chest and her body was trembling in anticipation. Please, please, please, come on Steve, work with me here.
Steve didn’t answer immediately, adjusting pieces of the chair with a far away look in his eyes. Then—
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll probably never see him again anyway.”
Holy shit, that hadn’t been a no.
She didn’t know what to do with this information. She kinda wanted to go to the Nether and tell Herobrine. In fact, she was going to do just that.
“Oh shit, I just remembered I had to meet one of my colleagues to discuss the netherite I’m trying to smelt.” She hopped off the table and hurried out of the room.
“See ya later!” She called over her shoulder, and practically ran to the portal.
There was an energy under her skin as she walked briskly through the Nether and to Herobrine’s fortress. She knew what she was doing was wrong, and she knew information she shouldn’t, which made her feel like she was breaking a rule. Which she technically was, by going to visit Herobrine. Not that she cared.
She made her way through the winding halls of the fortress until she burst through the door to Herobrine’s room and stopped short.
Herobrine was sitting on the throne, just like he’d been yesterday. He had drawn his knees to his body and was hugging them close, face hidden from view. A dozen or so empty bottles surrounded him.
She felt so bad for him, as she walked along the threadbare carpet up to the throne. She saw the rings dangling from his grip, glinting in the ambient light of the room. Her heart truly went out to him, that he was suffering so much under the weight of his own mistake. She wondered if Steve ever got like this, if he ever regretted what happened and suffered in silence. Maybe when she got back she’d give him a hug.
She didn’t say anything as she approached, but she didn’t try to hide her presence either. Was he even awake? Hesitant, she reached out and touched his shoulder. “Herobrine?”
He looked up, startling her a bit as she expected him to be asleep or passed out. The area around his eyes was red and his face was blotchy. He stared at her in silence for a moment before seeming to realize that she was real and standing right in front of him and he’d been crying. He looked away and wiped a hand over his cheeks.
“Alex, I’m surprised to see you here,” he said. She frowned, stepping back to give him space. He sounded exhausted.
“Why? I was try to visit everyday, don’t I?” She pointed out. He shrugged a shoulder.
“Yes, I suppose.”
She suppressed a grimace. He sounded so defeated, and though she’d really only known him to be like that, it was never this bad.
“Listen, I talked to Steve—“
At his somewhat fearful expression, all his attention on her now, she hurried to assuage him.
“I didn’t mention you, if you were worried about that. I just asked him about his past relationships and he gave me a vague answer. Of course I knew it was you, and when he talked about you…” She didn’t want to oversell it—yes he’d had a smile but that could have been his good memories of them, rather than the thought of Herobrine himself. Still, she felt like he needed to know. “His smile was small but soft. I got the impression he still cares about you.”
Strangely enough, Herobrine looked almost physically ill as she spoke. He looked away, face pinched in discomfort. “Stop, I don’t want to hear this. I can’t…”
She continued regardless, needing to say everything before he either got really angry or teleported her away. “When I asked him if he still loved you, he didn’t say no.”
He covered his face with his hands and leaned down, anguished. “Stop, please, I…I can’t—“
“This is a good thing!” She insisted, crouching in front of him and putting her hands on his shoulders. “I think there’s a chance that you can reconcile.”
Few several moments he refused to get up, sitting bent over and looking completely miserable. She stayed where she was, determined to be there for him and make him realize that this could be the opportunity of a lifetime for him. She was a little worried over the fact that he wasn’t jumping at the chance.
Her knees were starting to ache, but she held strong, squeezing his shoulders in comfort every so often. Eventually he took a great deep breath and finally sat up. She was impressed the depth of emotion visible in his blank white eyes.
“Don’t you want to see him again?” She asked quietly, remaining crouched but shifting to take the ache off her knees. He looked away, swallowing heavily.
“More than anything,” he admitted, and finally they were getting somewhere.
“Then let me help you do that.”
“How?”
“You need to let him see how sorry you are. He told me a little of what happened. Of…how you acted. I knew it was bad, I mean…” She trailed off and glanced at the bottles around them. Herobrine did too and made a face.
“I am sorry,” Herobrine said, and Alex could tell he meant it.
“Steve needs to hear that,” she responded, then hummed in thought. “How to get him down here though. I don’t want him to come here expecting a fight, or while angry. He needs to visit of his own volition or this will never work.”
At that, Herobrine looked sad again. “Then it’s useless. He won’t come here willingly again. Not after what I did.”
She bit her lip. She desperately wanted to know the full details, but it appeared to be pretty painful to the both of them, so she didn’t ask. Maybe in time, one of them would tell her.
“Well we should still try,” she said with conviction. “We won’t know otherwise.” She put her hands on her hips and smiled. “Right?”
Reluctant, he nodded. “Right.”
“Okay, I’m going back now. I’ll think of something and then come back once I do.”
He merely nodded, and Alex was at the door before she stopped as a thought came to her. “Wait, why can’t you go to the Overworld?”
He fidgeted in the throne, looking away from her as he answered. “It’s complicated. I…I haven’t been there in a very long time and though I don’t know if the old rules still apply, I was unwilling to take the chance. A point of contention between Steve and I.”
Alex raised a brow. “‘Was?’” She repeated.
He nodded, still not looking at her. “I would take the chance now. I would do anything.”
Though he wasn’t looking at her, she smiled softly. All this time later, and he still loved so fiercely. She was glad she got to see it. She hoped Steve did as well, if she figured out how to get him here.
“I see. It might come to that, but let me see what I can do first,” she said.
Once she appeared in the Overworld, it was dark. Much darker than she’d been expecting. Time really flew in the Nether, sometimes she forgot that.
She made her way home and despite the late hour, struggled to find sleep. Her brain was just too active, zipping in one direction, then the next as she tried to imagine ways to convince Steve to go to the Nether.
Then it came to her—maybe she could convince one of her friends to commission Steve for a full dining table plus chairs made from the warped wood that grew in the Nether. She could pitch in to both sweeten the pot by making the price exceedingly high to compensate for such a dangerous and arduous job while also offering to help Steve collect said wood. Hell, maybe Herobrine had diamonds and emeralds stashed away somewhere. He clearly wasn’t using them.
The more she thought about it, the more it seemed like the best idea possible. The only other thing she could think about would be to outright tell Steve she knew about Herobrine, which she didn’t think would go too well. Of course, she could sneak Herobrine into the village at night and invite Steve over to have them meet at her place, but she just knew it wouldn’t go well either. Steve would feel ambushed and be resistant to listening. She needed Steve to be caught off guard but not necessarily angry. Meeting Herobrine in the Nether while collecting the warped wood was their best option. Granted he could still get angry but at least he wasn’t going into it angry.
She eventually gave up on sleep, after laying in bed and figuring out the logistics of her plan. She was too keyed up to rest, instead she got up, counted how many valuables she had to help whichever of her friends she could convince to do this to pay for the commission(if Herobrine didn’t have any valuables), then designed a small six chair dining table set to determine how much wood might be necessary. A lot, considering warped trees didn’t grow particularly large.
By the time the sun was up properly, she’d had three cups of coffee and a foolproof plan. In the end she’d decided to commission Steve herself, as maybe an early birthday present. If it was her, he might be that much more willing to go through with it.
Still feeing giddy about finalizing her plan, she went straight to Steve’s. It must have been a little earlier than she thought because Steve was just walking up to his shop when she got there.
“Good morning!” She said brightly. He looked at her, surprised.
“Well you’re up early,” he commented, smiling teasingly at her. “Something must be horribly wrong.”
She put her hands on her hips in mock offense. “Ha ha, you’re so funny. I’ll have you know, I can be up early if I want to be. I just never want to be.” Maybe not tell him she didn’t sleep a wink. He might believe her request to be a trick from her sleep deprived mind.
“If you say so,” he said, unlocking the door to his shop and walking inside, holding it open for her. “Either way, I’m surprised to see you here.”
“I actually had a request,” she started, trying to sound like she hadn’t been talking to Steve’s ex-boyfriend for like seven months now and was trying to get them back together. “I know it’s a long shot but I…well I thought maybe…” She sighed, appearing down. As she intended, it piqued Steve’s interest and would hopefully guilt him into accepting her request. Underhanded perhaps, but it was for his own good.
“What is it?” He asked, and she sighed again, demure as she fiddled with the hem of her tunic.
“Since I’ve been in the Nether so much, I found a warped forest. The wood there is so beautiful, I was hoping to get a table and some chairs made from it. I know how you feel about the Nether but…well, I know it was a stupid thought—“
“It’s not stupid, I just…the Nether is…” He set his things down with a complex expression of discomfort, guilt, and sadness on his face.
“I could help you collect it,” she offered, still faux-sad. “And I would of course pay extra for the inconvenience.”
He made a face, thinking about it. “Does it have to be warped wood?” He asked, and she nodded, winding the end of her pony tail around her finger.
“It really is beautiful. Please?”
He hummed in indecision, unpacking as he thought about it.
“I…I don’t know, the Nether’s dangerous, and all for a table and some chairs? I’m not sure it would be worth it.”
Gods her heart was beating so fast in her chest she feared she’d have a heart attack. “The Nether’s not dangerous!” She hurried to explain. “I go there every day, or don’t you remember? And I’m perfectly fine!”
He was a bit taken aback by her insistent assurance, blinking at her like she’d said something crazy. But it was true. Steve refused to go to the Nether not because it was dangerous but because he was afraid of seeing Herobrine again. They both knew it, even if Steve didn’t know that.
“Besides, there are paths and tunnels to make it easier. Travel from our portal to Harbor’s portal is just as safe there as it is here!”
He still seemed unhappy, but luckily for her he relented. “Alright. What do you have in mind?”
She gave him her plans, and he gave her his price. Honestly not as high as she’d been expecting, all things considered. It would take a few days for him to be finished with his previous projects to be able to schedule time for the undertaking of gathering wood in one dimension and bringing it to another, which was fine with her. Gave her plenty of time to talk to Herobrine about how they were going to plan the meet up.
She bid Steve farewell and all but skipped to the portal, beelining straight to the throne room and opening the doors. She was a little worried about what she’d find when she got there, but she was pleased to see no bottles littering the ground, though Herobrine was still in the throne. He was slouched down in it, head tipped back as he slept. Or appeared to be. It was hard to tell with him.
Still, she quietly approached and even poked his chest to see if he was awake, but he appeared to actually be asleep for once. Just her luck, though she did think he needed it. Well no matter, she settled down and took a book out of her pack, deciding she might as well finish it while she waited for him to wake up.
She only got about a third into what she had left when he shifted, sitting up and stretching. She snapped her book shut to grab his attention.
“Good morning,” she greeted, smiling at his passive expression. He didn’t strike her as a morning person. “I have some good news.”
He raised a brow, prompting her to continue.
“I convinced Steve to come to the Nether, to collect wood. So that’s going to be our opportunity.”
She could see his face pale, even more than it normally was, and he had a death grip on the arms of the throne.
“When?” He said, voice tight. She would say he almost sounded scared.
“Not today, or even in the next few days. I won’t know until he’s finished with his other projects. But I’ll be sure to let you know the night before.”
He seemed a little more relaxed, hearing that. She didn’t blame him, having most likely thought he’d have to confront Steve today rather than mentally prepare himself for it. She wouldn’t be so cruel as to spring something like that on him.
She sat her book down and stood to walk over to him. One of his hands had lifted to carefully cradle the rings.
“Are you going to be okay?” She asked.
Herobrine looked away, vaguely sick pallor to his paled skin. “I don’t know. I’ve spent all this time replaying that day over and over and wishing I had apologized, instead of... And now the day that I’ve dreamed about is here and I…” He closed his eyes and she could see his hand tighten around the rings. “I don’t know if I can do it.”
She knelt down slowly, placing her hand on his knee. “You can. Look, I don’t know exactly what happened, but you’re sorry, right?”
He nodded. “More than I can express,” he whispered. She squeezed his knee in comfort.
“Then that’s all you need to say. I can tell you really mean it, and I don’t even have the full story. Obviously it was bad, but if the…if the drinking wasn’t a clear enough indicator, what happened really effected you. You’re miserable. This is your chance to make everything right, you have to take it.”
He opened his eyes to look at her, brows furrowed. He looked in pain. “What if he sees all this—“ he gestures to himself and the room quickly, “—and doesn’t care? I don’t think I could…” He trails off, sounding choked up. His hand is shaking where it’s clasped around the rings.
“If he turns his back on you, I’ll make him see. But I know he still cares. It’s just about getting you two together at this point.” She smiled and patted his knee before standing and stretching out her knees. “Trust me, I have a good feeling about this.” Famous last words, she thought to herself sardonically, then changed the subject to get him to stop freaking out. “Anyway, do you have any diamonds? Or emeralds?”
She explained her plan to get Steve to the Nether, and he teleported into the room a double chest stuffed to the brim with all sorts of valuables. Mostly diamonds and emeralds, which she practically drooled over, but also amethysts, gold, and quartz. She wondered how the amethysts got here and almost asked before realizing that they probably reminded him of Steve’s eyes so she kept her curiosity to herself.
The valuables were useless to him, so she took a hefty amount at his insistence, returning to the Overworld with a full pack and a wide smile. Even as the day progressed and her lack of sleep caught up to her, her good mood persisted until night fell and she crawled into bed, falling asleep in no time.
Several days passed. Alex tried not to be fidgety about the upcoming project, barely restraining herself from barging into Steve’s shop everyday and pestering him about it. Not only would he probably change his mind if she annoyed him enough, but he might decide to humor her and leave for the Nether right then and there, giving her no time to warn Herobrine. Both scenarios were an absolute worse case scenario, so she restrained herself. She instead spent time searching for more ancient debris, leaving both Steve and Herobrine alone. In Herobrine’s case, she wanted him to be able to collect his thoughts in private, so when she finally told him when it would be time, he’d be ready. She made sure to tell Steve to let her know when he wanted them to go to the Nether the day before they actually did.
And, a week and a half later, the day finally came. Steve came by her house after work and let her know that he was ready to collect the warped wood to start her project. She was so excited she practically tackled Steve in a hug, uncaring of how it must look. Let him believe she was getting fucking hyped for a simple table and chairs set.
By the time she arrived at Herobrine’s room to tell him, she was trembling with nerves, equally anticipating and worrying about tomorrow’s meeting.
Herobrine was standing in front of the window overlooking the lava lake when she arrived, hands clasped behind his back. She walked up and stood beside him, gazing out at the awesome sight.
“We’ll be at the forest tomorrow,” she said, and he nodded, taking a deep breath.
“Thank you Alex,” he said, turning to look at her. He smiled, probably the most genuine she’d seen from him yet. At that moment she realized that he’d attempted to fix his appearance. There was nothing to be done about the tired bags under his eyes, but both his hair and beard had been cut and trimmed short. Just that change alone made him look a little livelier. His clothing had also changed, still simple, but the shirt he wore had no burns, stains, or tears, and neither did the pants. She was glad to see him prepared. He looked good. She could see why Steve liked him.
“You’ve done so much for me, expecting nothing in return. I can’t begin to express my appreciation.”
She smiled and clapped him on the back, then pointed to the rings. “Just make me your honored guest when you get to use those.” She wagged her brows, and laughed when he blushed.
“I hope one day, that opportunity will present itself.”
She left after that, heart so full and light she wondered how she didn’t just float away. It felt nice, helping people like this. Even though Steve had no idea what was going to happen, she was confident he would take Herobrine back. Or, at the very least, begin considering it. Because right now, he only knew Herobrine as the man he had to break up with, not this sorrowful version who immensely regretted his past actions.
She forced herself to sleep that night, and was able to rest peacefully until morning. Bright and early, she gathered all the materials she’d need and made her way to Steve’s shop.
“Good morning,” she singsonged when she opened the door. Steve looked up from the bag he was packing. An enchanted diamond axe lay on the counter in front of him. Alex whistled at the sight of it.
“Wow, what a beauty,” she complimented, leaning on the counter and running her eyes from the custom made grip to the intricate leather bindings wrapped around the ace head. Steve kept his trusty axe hidden away most of the time, as he only needed it to chop down wood. Most of the time he either bought the wood already pre-cut or was supplied by the commissioner, so he didn’t have reason to use his special axe too much. Alex wondered if part of the reason he agreed so easily was because he wanted to use it.
“Thanks. It’s been a while since I’ve used it. I’m still apprehensive about going to the Nether, but I do appreciate the opportunity it presents to utilize my axe. That warped wood won’t know what hit it.”
Alex smiled, just as thrilled as Steve was. She was so ready for today she was shaking. Oh, how badly she wanted to just blurt everything out and get it over with, but that would immediately ruin things.
“Come on already then, I’m excited to get going!” She exclaimed, nearly jumping up and down. Steve chuckled as he flipped his pack closed and slung it onto his back, sliding the axe into its holder at his hip.
“This project must mean a lot to you if you’re this excited to go collect some wood,” Steve said, causing Alex to frown.
“Huh?…Oh! Oh, yeah, it does.” Nice, he doesn’t suspect a thing, her brain scolded. Get it together, no slip-ups unless you want to ruin everything, she told herself. We’re so close, we just have to make it to the Nether and then it’s up to fate.
She kept telling herself that as Steve lead her out of the shop, locking the doors and putting up a sign detailing where he was and when he’d be back to anyone who stopped by looking for him. Then they walked to the portal. There was a cart resting by it, longer than it was wide to be able to fit through the narrow obsidian pillars.
Alex gestured for Steve to go through first, as she wasn’t fully convinced he wouldn’t change his mind. As she thought it, he made a face at the portal and took a deep breath before entering, pushing the cart in front of him. Alex followed immediately after.
She’d been getting more and more used to the unnatural heat of the Nether, as she spent a large amount of time in the hellish dimension on a day to day basis, but Steve appeared to be struggling a bit to the sudden temperature change. His cheeks were red and he was breathing heavy as he looked around. It was no wonder—he probably hadn’t been here in the three years it’d been since him and Herobrine broke up. At this point, she couldn’t imagine not visiting the Nether at least once a day.
“Alright there?” She inquired. Steve gave a thumbs up.
“Just…forgot what the air was like…is all,” he responded breathlessly. She nodded and waited patiently while he adjusted. He kept glancing at her, she could feel it as she tried to give him some semblance of privacy by looking away to collect himself.
“You’re really not bothered by it?” He finally asked. She looked over. His face was still red but he was breathing quietly and looked in much better shape.
She nodded to his question. “Well, I’m here pretty much everyday.” She shrugged like it was no big deal. “Guess my body just adjusted.”
“Must be nice.”
“Maybe a little,” she said with a smile. “Now come on, let’s get that wood.”
She lead him to the warped forest, which took them between the Lilac and Harbor portals but in the opposite direction of the fortress. Her heart was pounding and her mind racing, going over all the ways today could go right or wrong. She really hoped Steve was willing to listen.
But as they came upon the warped forest and found suitable trees, loading up the cart for easy transport back, Herobrine didn’t show up. Alex held out hope, but she couldn’t delay them any longer. She’d been picky about the trees and initiated conversation meant to distract Steve, but he didn’t want to be in the Nether in the first place so his responses were short and to the point, all the while enchanted axe cutting into the wood like a hot knife through butter.
Before too long they had the cart loaded with all the wood Steve said he’d need, and were walking back to the portal. And still no Herobrine.
Alex was genuinely worried know. She would have thought Herobrine to be ready, he seemed it yesterday, so where was he? If he truly didn’t want to go to the Overworld, then he was wasting this golden opportunity.
They reached the closest point to the fortress they were going to get. A familiar path to their right lead to a rift in the netherrack wall, signs posted around it to warn others away. She could see a sliver of the fortress through the walls.
She stopped, staring at it. Come on Herobrine, she thought desperately. Where are you?
“Alex?”
She blinked and looked over, but made no move to continue walking. Steve’s expression told her he knew exactly what was in the direction she was looking, but he didn’t look scared, just wary.
She didn’t say anything, just swallowed heavily and looked back at the fissure, internally imploring Herobrine to show up. But she was on a time limit here.
“What is it?” Steve asked, and she could hear the edge of desperation in his tone. “Why are you looking over there?”
She took a step towards the fortress. Immediately Steve let go of the cart and rushed over to grab her hand, pulling her to a stop. “What are you doing!”
“Come with me,” she requested, tugging and pulling him a few feet until he dug his shoes into the netherrack, halting them again.
“Are you crazy? We’re not going there, haven’t you been told enough times to stay away from that place?” Steve began tugging her back to the cart and the path to their portal but she resisted, tearing her hand out of his grip and rushing forward, ignoring his cries for her to stop until she got to the split and looked back. He’d moved a few feet towards her and looked extremely displeased. Alex knew this was odd behavior for her—well, not breaking the rules, obviously, but doing it in front of someone deliberately. Normally she would obey and then just come back later to explore the area.
“I’m sorry, but I have to do this. Just—wait there,” she said, ignoring his yells for her to stop as she squeezed through the rift and ran towards the fortress.
She didn’t know whether to be mad or worried as she made her way straight to Herobrine’s room. When she got there, pushing open the doors, he looked up from where he was sitting on the throne. He’d been leaning forward, arms on his thighs and head hanging down. His expression let her know he already knew what she was going to say but she said it anyway.
“What are you doing?” She asked hurriedly, rushing over to him and grabbing his arm, trying to haul him up and out the door. “You’re missing your chance!”
“I changed my mind, I can’t do it,” he said miserably. He let her pull him up but didn’t move after that, no matter how hard she tugged.
“What? What are you talking about?” Instead of trying to pull him forward, she put her hands on his shoulders and shook, hoping to knock some sense into him. “You can’t change your mind, this is your best chance!”
He looked away and closed his eyes, and she got angry.
“So that’s it? You’re not even going to try? You’d rather be miserable and sit here drunk rather than fight for a chance at happiness?” As she said it, she couldn’t believe she even needed to. Why would Herobrine choose to be like this? To exist in the empty void that his life had spiraled into? Even if he felt it was a fitting punishment for whatever he did, Alex would disagree. He’d suffered enough. The fact that, three years later he was still trying to drink himself into forgetting and so obviously hurt by his own actions proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he regretted what happened and was truly sorry. He just needed to tell Steve that. Because she just knew that somewhere, deep down, Steve was waiting for that. Even three years later.
“I couldn’t bear it, if I apologize and he…if he doesn’t accept it I…” Herobrine shook his head and trailed off. Alex softened her expression and felt compelled to pull him into a hug.
“He will. And it might take some time for things to get better, but they will,” she whispered. He didn’t move to reciprocate the hug but that was fine. She just poured all the comfort and support she could into it. “Please, stop torturing yourself for what you did and go make up for it so you can be happy.”
His breath hitched, and he finally returned the hug, squeezing her a little tightly but she endured.
When he pulled away, she was pleased to see his expression set in determination.
“Okay,” he said, sounding sure. “Where is he?”
“Hopefully still by the Lilac portal.”
Herobrine nodded, and then held out his hand. Confused, she slowly put hers in his, then squeezed it tightly when he teleported them. She closed her eyes tightly, taking a deep breath through the experience. She was more used to it, thanks to the many times he’d teleported her out of the fortress when they first met, but it had been a while since then so her head rushed and she swayed a bit, using the grip on his hand to keep herself up.
She let go once her vision settled, looking around. They were on the other side of the fissure. So close and yet so far.
“I’m okay,” she told him, letting go and urging him towards the crack. “Good luck.”
“Thank you,” he said, looking at it as if transfixed. “I’m going to need it.”
He took a deep breath, then walked through. She felt a little conflicted on whether she should eavesdrop on the conversation, but ultimately decided to hell with it. It wasn’t really her business, but she felt like she’d earned this.
She snuck up to one of the walls and peaked around it.
Herobrine walked between the gap in the netherrack, heart racing. He felt sick. It was hard to believe he might see Steve, finally after all these years. He doesn’t even remember the last time he’d left the fortress. His chest hurt, and his blood rushed loud in his ears.
He stepped through the netherrack and felt his breath leave him in a rush, nearly physically pained by the sight of Steve standing against a cart loaded with warped tree logs. He had his arms crossed and was glaring towards the portal in the distance.
Despite his expression, he was just as beautiful as Herobrine remembered. As he walked forward, mind racing through what he wanted to say, what he could say, he feared this was all a dream. He feared Steve would disappear in a flash, leaving him alone again.
He stopped about ten feet away.
“…Steven…”
Instantly Steve tensed and whipped around to look at him. His eyes were wide and he took a step back, expression haunted. It made Herobrine’s heart clench. How could he possibly have caused this reaction in the man he loved?
“What—“ Steve cut himself off, voice tight. “What are you doing here?”
“Steve, please, just hear me out—“
“How did you know I was here?” Steve interrupted. His hand lowered to his hip, over his sword. Herobrine’s felt the knife of regret twist in his heart at the sight, more so because he knew it wasn’t entirely unfounded. Steve had a reason to be wary of him, after what he’d said during their last moment together.
His thoughts and emotions were so frayed, that the prospect of lying about even the smallest thing didn’t even occur to him. “Alex—“
Once he said her name, Steve gasped and actually drew his sword. “Where is she, what did you do to her!” Steve demanded. Herobrine held up his hands in defense.
“She’s fine. She…she’s the one who encouraged me to come here.” Herobrine knew that what he felt was genuine, he just needed to try and convey that outwardly. It was something he’d struggled with a little, when they’d been together. Showing his emotions openly when it was just the two of them. Steve was patient for longer than Herobrine deserved, but even a man like Steve had patience that only stretched so far before it snapped.
Steve’s brows were furrowed as he thought about Herobrine’s words, then his expression lightened in dawning realization.
“This is why she’s spent so much time in the Nether,” Steve said, mostly to himself. Herobrine kept silent, as he wasn’t entirely away of just how much Alex had told Steve of her exploits here, if any.
Steve’s attention snapped to him, but his sword lowered a bit. Herobrine tried to squash down the hope rising inside him at that sight.
“What’d you tell her, huh?” Steve yelled, but even as he did it, he sheathed his sword and with determined strides stormed over to him, until they were barely an arm’s length away. Steve’s eyes were filled with sadness and rage but so familiarly brilliant, like perfectly polished amethysts. Their intensity stole his breath away, and doubled the sorrow in his own heart.
“What sad story did you spin that got her to help you, hm? Did you make yourself out as the victim, depressed because you got dumped, is that it?” Steve continued when Herobrine remained silent. His words were meant to bite, to sting and hurt, and Herobrine endured it because he’d said worse, and because if this got Steve to feel better then so be it.
“No,” Herobrine finally said, desperately hoping Steve could see that he meant his words, that he’d instantly regretted what he’d said three years ago. That look of real fear on Steve’s usually happy face was his biggest shame and the source of several nightmares that plagued him, when his body finally passed out in exhaustion. “I didn’t talk to her for a long time. And when I told her what happened, I said I was the one that ruined everything.” Was he shaking? He held up his hand, watching it tremble, then fished the rings out from beneath his shirt and cradled them in his fist, a comfort for him when he was nervous. The rings were important to him. He’d entertained thoughts of ‘what-if’ and ‘what-could-have-been’ more times than was probably healthy. It was only once Steve was out of his life that he realized just how badly he’d fucked up, and how much he regretted their parting. Three years later and he was still suffering under the consequences. Alex was right, he had the opportunity to fix everything right here and now.
“I know what happened was my fault,” he said, looking into Steve’s eyes. He burned their unique color into his mind, hoping for something to remember the man by when he inevitably left again. “I take full responsibility for it. I would never do those terrible things,” he said, frowning. Steve’s face was a little less angry and more surprised. “As soon as you left—as soon as the words left my mouth I wanted to take them back. I’ve been regretting it ever since. I should have apologized then. I should have…” He averted his gaze, guilt forming a choking lump in his throat. He took several deep breaths as his heart started to race. The hand he had around the rings started shaking worse and he tightened his fist, trying to ground himself. “I should have done a lot of things differently then.”
He waited for Steve to respond, desperate to know his thoughts, but just stood there with his eyes cast to the side, awaiting judgement.
“Why are you telling me this?” Steve finally said, not unkindly. But he still sounded a bit closed off and wary of Herobrine’s intentions.
“I—“ He dropped to his knees and looked up, letting as much of the raw emotion as Steve had always claimed him incapable of on his face as he could manage. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “Please believe me, I’m so, so sorry about what happened.” He dropped his head, settling his blurry gaze on the netherrack and Steve’s shoes instead. Just like when Alex was nearby to see it, the old, feral part of him—small and smothered by layers of alcohol—raged at the thought of showing such a weakness as crying, but it was easily ignored as tears spilled over onto his cheeks and hit the netherrack with a quiet sizzle.
Steve was silent for several moments, and Herobrine tried not to think too much into it, but it was eating away at his already frayed nerves, desperation clawing at his insides. He needed Steve to respond, to say he accepted, to take him back. He didn’t know what he would do if Steve left him alone again.
Finally, Steve moved. Herobrine watched him take a step back before his knees hit the netherrack as he knelt down in front of him. He held his breath, hardly daring to think about what Steve could be doing. False hope would just serve to knock him down. Because right now Steve was going to tell him it was too late, that there was no way he’d want—
“It took you three years to finally apologize,” Steve stated, and Herobrine looked up, confused. But his heart nearly stopped when he saw the small, sad smile on Steve’s face.
He swallowed heavily. “I…I would have said it that day, if you’d come back.”
Steve sighed as he sat back on his heels. “I thought about it, later. Much later. But…I couldn’t.” Steve looked at him then—really looked at him—and frowned. “I suppose I’m sorry too then, for making you wait for so long. The years have not been kind to you.”
Herobrine thought nothing of it, and still refused to get his hopes up, ruthlessly stomping it down after every word Steve said that wasn’t a curse or a yell. “Because you weren’t there with me. And it was all my fault.”
Steve frowned, crossing his arms over his chest and pressing his lips into a thin line as he contemplated over everything.
“I’m still angry,” Steve started. Herobrine looked down again, knowing what was coming. He dug his nails into his palm, rings nestled in the confides of his fist around them. He braced himself. “But more so than that…I’m relieved.” His smile was near blinding in its sincerity. “I’ve been waiting so long to hear you say that.”
Herobrine returned the smile—much more muted, to be sure, but a smile all the same—and wiped a hand over his cheeks. “I don’t think I can say it enough.”
“You’ve done a good job so far,” Steve said, returning some of the teasing mood before his expression became serious. “But I need time to think about things, okay?” Steve stood up and after the briefest of hesitations, held his hand out. Herobrine stared at the offered hand in a daze before accepting it, letting Steve help him to his feet. Steve was quick to let go, but he’d offered in the first place, which was good.
“I promise I’ll be back, okay? So don’t worry,” Steve assured him with a nod, and waited for Herobrine to reciprocate before walking back over to the cart. He looked over his shoulder as he grabbed the cart handles. “Tell Alex when you see her that she’s in big trouble when she gets back.”
He merely nodded, not trusting his voice. Steve smiled at him again before continuing to push the cart onward, eventually passing through the portal and disappearing into the Overworld.
Herobrine took a deep, shuddering breath and put his hand over his face, thanking whichever Gods were listening and had decided to pity him.
He walked back over to where Alex was, eager to tell her how everything went. And thank her for pushing him to go through with this.