Chapter Text
It took him weeks to get out of the hospital, and another few weeks to be able to walk without support.
Frankly, he thought he was a goner when Baji arrived late in the church, though things didn’t exactly go well after. Their captain was already half-standing from the fight he had with Koko and Inupi, and they couldn’t expect any help from Toman because agreement .
So the five of them, including Hakkai, stood against Taiju and hoped for the best. And the best they got was that they managed to defeat Taiju while Takemichi nearly saw his life flash before his eyes the second time.
When Mitsuya got to them, Mikey and Draken after, to fight off the rest of Black Dragons, it seemed that Takemichi was already unconscious by then.
“Okay there, partner?” Chifuyu asked, holding his elbow. Takemichi resisted the urge to roll his eyes, but he also felt moved by the gesture.
“I’m fine now, Chifuyu. Don’t be a mother hen.”
“Shut up,” he spat half-heartedly.
“Where’s Baji-kun?”
“Mikey’s talking to him.”
He nodded. It was Toman’s first meeting of the year, which had been delayed due to Takemichi being confined in the hospital.
Baji met them up behind the shrine with a welcoming grin. “You heal fast, Takemitchy!”
Takemichi smiled dryly, wasn’t exactly sure what about it was fast when it took him more than a month. He offered a polite bow to his captain. “Why are you bandaged up?”
“Just got into a bit of a fight.”
Well, that wasn’t surprising, knowing what kind of a hot-tempered person their captain was. He and Chifuyu followed Baji toward the Toman meeting, where they all lined up as Mikey, an upsetting blank seriousness in his expression, faced them.
“…Mikey-kun?”
Black eyes only flickered to him once. The meeting started.
*
Black Dragons, like how it always went, was merged into Toman, and now they were under Baji’s command. Although, as per their request, they answer directly under Takemichi for reasons he’d prefer not to know.
Interestingly enough, the two, Koko and Inupi, were tied to a red string, so Chifuyu and Takemichi weren’t the only ‘soulmates’ in the gang anymore. Baji was glaring at them the whole time, as if there was still a score to settle.
“You don’t have to trust us. Just call us when you need us, and we’ll help you,” Inupi told Baji, but his gaze mostly lingered at Takemichi the whole time.
*
“I met Shinichiro-kun while I was unconscious,” he told Chifuyu after, who raised an eyebrow in return.
“Mikey’s brother?”
“Yeah,” he answered. “I think he saved me.”
“Oh.”
“Yep.”
“I’m glad, Takemitchy. I’m glad.”
“…”
“…”
“…Me too.”
*
That same night, Takemichi approached Mikey, sitting on the landing of the stairs, tired from the world and tired from himself, and he looked like he’d been waiting for Takemichi.
“I—” And suddenly, there was not a single word formed in his mind, like they gathered and were squashed simultaneously there. He scratched his head. “So. Uh.”
Mikey laughed, quiet, but it tinkled in Takemichi’s heart. “I beat up Baji for getting you guys, including himself, in danger.”
“Is that why he had bandages?”
“Yeah.”
He sent him a stilted smile. “Sorry.”
“Taiju too, I thought I could kill him. But I didn’t. I knew it wasn’t going to make you wake up if I do.”
For a moment, he watched Mikey, all the authority gone from him, because when it was just the two of them, he was nothing but a child whom the world was trying to rob a heart from. This Mikey— the way he was sometimes a mountain, tough from any storm, but also someone who’d stay unmoved even if you hold a knife against him, just because you’re a friend and he knew you wouldn’t hurt him, that even if you did, he’d just watch his own blood spill down, say there, there, bump your foreheads together, smile and say it’ll be fine. “Was it the journal?”
“Oh. I ripped it apart.”
“You— WHAT?!” He stared at him in disbelief, this Mikey, who could also say he ripped the notebook that contained a lifetime’s worth of secrets, like it was the easiest thing to do.
“Don’t worry,” Mikey said, smiling that smile again because, Takemichi was beginning to understand, even if he collected all those smiles, Mikey still wouldn’t run out of them. “I know myself now.”
“Wait— That’s not the point! Why would you rip it apart?!”
He shrugged. “It’s mine. I decide what to do with it.”
“Yeah, but—” He pulled out his hair in frustration. “You’re so unpredictable, you know that!”
“Is that a compliment?”
“No!” Then: “Well, maybe, yes. But it’s not always a good thing!”
Mikey huffed a soft laugh, amused. “Yeah, sure.”
“Why would you do that?”
“I don’t know,” he said, and it sounded like a lie even though, Takemichi knew by now, that it was the nearest truth. “Maybe because I couldn’t kill Taiju for hurting my friends so I destroyed something else instead.”
“So you destroyed your feelings instead?”
“Don’t be an idiot. I just wrote my feelings there. My feelings.” He pointed at his chest. “Are right here.”
“Are they?”
Mikey smiled, transfixed. “Where else do you think they’ll go?”
Somewhere, he wanted to say, where you can bury them. Or perhaps it’s not a matter of place, but time. “So we have to decide for something else now, since the diary thing no longer works.”
“Really?” Mikey mused, and tilted his head like a say of do entertain me.
“I think I already know what to replace it,” he said, quite proud, squaring his shoulders.
“Takemitchy, you know you don’t have to—”
“But I want to,” he insisted, stubborn as he is. He crossed the distance between them, and like a light-bulb moment, he took a curtsy bow before Mikey, before drawing his hand forward. “May I?”
Mikey’s eyes widened. “No, seriously, what the heck is this—”
“C’mon, just take my hand, Manjiro .”
“You’re acting weird.”
“It’s just a hand.”
Mikey rolled his eyes, then took it. Mikey’s hand, calloused and small and chilly, fit right around his own. Takemichi pulled him forward, gentle, like he was a thing meant to break, and assisted Mikey’s hand to his shoulder, before placing his own on his waist.
“ Jesus. ”Mikey snorted, like he was trying hard not to die of laughing. “Takemitchy, we don’t have music.”
“I could hum,” he offered, because he had no plan of letting go tonight. He knew the steps, how the music went, had played it several times with Chifuyu and Hina. “Just follow me, okay? It’s fine if you step on me.”
It seemed incredible at first, inviting the invisible Mikey to a dance, being the lead instead of otherwise, and this was akin to showing his trust to Takemichi because he wouldn’t let Mikey fall. He didn’t even have to grip his hand back, Takemichi will always be ready to catch him.
“You’re getting the hang of it,” Takemichi said, impressed. Mikey had only stepped on him once. For a beginner, he was quite the fast learner.
Mikey grinned. “I didn’t know you were a dancer.”
“Frankly it was the only class I didn’t suck at. It was Hina-chan who taught me waltz though.”
Mikey stifled a laugh. “ Waltz , out of all things.”
“Don’t you enjoy this?”
“Kinda.”
“Eh, just kinda?!” He felt like deflating.
“Well, this isn’t as bad as I thought.”
Takemichi spun him, and Mikey easily followed this time. Takemichi found himself smiling. “Tell me something.”
Mikey shot him a look of what is it now?
“Give me things you’re happy to have. Or things you’re happy not to have.”
Mikey only mulled it over for a second. “For one, I’m happy to be alive.”
“That’s a good start.”
“Also Toman. I’m happy to have friends, to be surrounded by cool people.”
Takemichi continued humming, and almost forgot to breathe when he pulled Mikey close again. “Yeah, and?”
“I’m glad to be good at fighting, I guess.”
“Not just good, you’re great at it.”
“I know.” He didn’t sound bluntly arrogant, not at all, but merely stating a fact. “I do think I’m lucky not to have a weak body prone to getting sick and all those easy to acquire diseases. That I can freely choose who I want to be.”
“You can and you should.”
Mikey’s eyes flashed to him. “Takemitchy, to you, I’m just a kid, aren’t I?”
He felt dumbfounded at the abrupt change of topic. “Huh?” What’s with that all of a sudden.
“You said so yourself before: I’m 15 and you’re 26, so I’m a kid to you. Don’t you remember that?”
He did now. “Oh, that. Uhm, yeah. You’re kid, and well.” He hesitated. “I suppose I’ve stopped thinking like I’m 26 at some point, and it’s been happening for a while now.”
“Oh?”
“It’s not my fault!” He stopped from dancing, bringing his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m surrounded by all of you, and okay, maybe I’ve always been a kid at heart! Chifuyu used to say that about me in the present timeline. So now, sometimes, I look at you and you’re just… a kid my age, I guess.” He looked down, blood gathering in his cheeks.
“That’s good enough.”
Takemichi snapped his head up at breakneck speed. “ Good enough ?”
“Yeah, Takemitchy, it’s good enough that you’re not looking at me as if I’m a kid.”
“Uh?” He didn’t get it.
Mikey yawned instead of elaborating— and Takemichi knew he already lost the discussion —his eyes tearing up a little. “Let’s go home. I’m sleepy. I’ll drive you home.”
“Okay.”
*
“So you tried dancing with him,” Chifuyu, then laughed while looking at Takemichi like his entire existence was a joke.
“Hey!” He crossed his arms, half-pouting, half-grimacing. “I poured a lot of thought into that.”
“Sure, sure.” He waved his hand. “Now that sounds like you’re seducing him.”
“What—?!” His hands fell to his sides, and his head got all dizzy with all the blood in his cheeks. “Chifuyu, what the fuck?! I’m not— we’re not— what the fuck .”
“It’s just a joke!” Chifuyu shouted back, defensive and scandalized. He gave Takemichi a knowing smirk. “Or is it?”
Takemichi launched at him and bit his partner’s hand, uncouth, ignoring his screams of ow, ow, stop! a nd they tackled each other to the ground, and Chifuyu was biting his shoulder, but oh, it wasn’t as painful because of clothes, and maybe there were a lot of teeth, maybe he tasted copper between his lips, maybe he giggled and felt his red string all too warm, maybe he understood now, what Shinichiro meant. Home wasn’t a house to him, not at all, but a person, always had been.
*
He was driving the new motorbike Mikey gifted him, a twin engine of his own and all that, when Takemichi asked, “Am I included in the things you’re happy to have?”
It took him three minutes to answer with a heart-breaking “No.” But before Takemichi could mourn over it and cry, he added, “Because no one but Chifuyu could have you, Takemitchy. We all know that.”
Takemichi told himself to forget that Mikey ever said that, but like how humans’ minds went, the more he tried forgetting, the louder it echoed in his head, where they remained there forever, haunting him.
It shouldn’t upset Takemichi, it shouldn’t make him regret ever asking, but it did.
*
He wondered about Mikey more than he probably should. He wondered, wide awake at night, where Mikey had been in his former future, if he managed to get to Manila and visited the place his brother talked about. If he had everyone to go with him.
*
“For people like us, you think it’s possible to love someone that isn’t our soulmate?”
Chifuyu frowned at that, but he stopped when he noticed that Takemichi was serious. “Of course. I love Baji-san, I love most of the Toman members too. I love my parents, even Peke J.”
“No,” Takemichi said, and it sounded a little desperate. “I meant a different kind of love.”
“Oh.” He paused, and for a long moment he just stared at Takemichi. “I suppose. I wouldn’t know. But I guess it could be possible. Takemitchy, whatever you feel, I’m telling you, it’s real. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
“But—”
“Takemitchy,” Chifuyu interrupted. “You’re not going to say ‘ what about you?’ are you?”
Takemichi stared at him helplessly, troubled.
Chifuyu sighed, and he crossed the room to him. He placed both palms on his shoulders, leveling his eyes to his. “Takemitchy, listen, we’re soulmates, and it’s above all that romance or platonic shit. I don’t need to have sex with you to belong to you—”
“Chifuyu?!”
“We’re soulmates . We’re not friends or married or lovers, we’re soulmates, got that?” he repeated and pointed a finger to Takemichi's chest to push him back a little, grinning, an eyebrow raised. “The red string is not something that ties you down, it’s just a guide, Takemitchy. You’re such a dumbass not to know that.”
Touched, Takemichi leaned forward and pulled him to a half-hug. “Damn, so I could have dated Hina. She was such my ideal girl.”
He heard Chifuyu chuckle breathily close to his ear. “Your fault for being an idiot. Though you don’t like her anymore, do you? And this one’s not even a girl .”
“If you know already, why are you still asking?”
“Cause maybe, by then, you’d be able to accept it yourself.”
He hated it most when Chifuyu was always right. “Geez, be thankful I love you.”
“You love me already? Damn, you love fast. I’m not the future me, you know.”
“Slowburn isn’t really my thing.”
Chifuyu choked out of nothing. “Oh god, are you reading my manga again? Is that why one of the volumes is missing?!”
Takemichi pulled away quickly, grinning apologetically. “I’m still looking for it!”
“You lost it—?!”
He started running away.
“—Bakamitchy, get back here!”
*
He had another dream of the future he once had, and sometimes he’d think it was just that: a dream, instead of a real memory. And he knew, in that future, Hina no longer lived.
He took her out on a friendly date, a selfish request. Reasonable by all means, but she didn’t know his situation, his real self, so it was selfish nonetheless.
“What’s with you?” she asked, innocent.
“Nothing,” he smiled. “I missed you.”
“Do you, now?” She looked at him curiously, her eyes bright under her lashes. “Takemichi-kun, when did you start talking like an old man?”
“Hehe.” Then, as if to further prove her point, he added, “Hina-chan, you’re one of the people I’m scared of losing.”
She leaned back, surprise coloring her features. “W-What’s with this all of a sudden?”
He laughed, guilty. “It’s probably because I’m kinda dangerous. Not actually me, but the life I belong to. Your father talked with me once, you know? He thought I was your secret boyfriend or something.”
Her eyes narrowed a fraction. “Oh my god, I didn’t know that! I’m so sorry!”
“No, it’s fine! I just thought it was funny.” He kept his hands in his pockets. He’d been stuck in this timeline for months. “How’s your brother, by the way?”
“Naoto? Oh, he’s planning to be a detective. Got inspired from you, I guess?”
“Oh? Why me?”
Hina shrugged. Warm, that. Warm and fond. “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”
*
It struck him all of a sudden, like he managed to untie a knot in his head, and all secrets came spilling down. Takemichi remembered wanting to be the top of the delinquents once, a dream he used to have. He’d forgotten it now.
*
It was such a polite change. There were still remnants of winter to his skin, cold but not aggravatingly so, and the green of earth was returning. Takemichi sat next to Mikey, who was singing an unknown song no one else could possibly know, ‘ are you running away to the sea too? Yes, blob blob blob.’ with Taiyaki in his hand, and he looked dazed at the horizon, like he was waiting, always waiting.
When a guy slid to Mikey’s other side, dark-skinned, a black scarf around his neck to fight the bite of wind, and he was a flutter of white hair that framed his face, bringing quite the strong impression with him. “Hey, Taiyaki-kun, how did that song end again?”
They turned their heads over. Mikey answered, “Who knows? I forgot.” Then he asked for his name.
Izana Kurokawa, he said, and his earrings swayed at the tilt of his head, smiling at them both, but at Mikey mostly.
“What do you think of him, Takemitchy?”
“You have… the same expressions.”