Out Here Doing Tough Guy Sh*t

by lordeofstucky

Chapter 2

As he pulled up outside Steve’s house a few days later, his stomach was doing all kinds of flips and cartwheels and other things he couldn’t name. He turned off the weather broadcast just as his gaze snagged on Steve outside loading his pickup. 

His jaw dropped just a bit. Steve looked mouth watering good with worn, faded jeans and a white t-shirt that was a few sizes too small and hugged his lean torso enough that Bucky could make out the lines of his abdomen. Steve turned toward him, lifting his hand in a wave and smiling like he didn’t have any problems in the world-- like spending four days in the wilderness was equivalent to winning the lottery or getting superpowers. 

When Bucky got out of his car, he beelined it right to him, sliding his hands around Steve’s narrow waist and squeezing tight. “Hey,” Steve rumbled, right before he leaned in and planted a kiss against Bucky’s lips, holding him just as secure. His toes curled at the passion between them, and the idea of spending four days alone with him started to turn more into excitement more than anything. 

Joey came pedaling right toward them on a little red tricycle and if it wasn’t for Steve catching him just in time, he would have gone crashing into them and bruising their shins. He crouched down and patted Joey’s blond head. 

Joey stared up at them, squinting against the sun. “Buckyyy.” He honked the horn in the center of his handlebars. “I godda bike.” 

“I see that.” 

“I’m gonna race daddy when he gets back.” Joey looked very confident that he would be the victor, as if his daddy wasn’t quite literally in the top upmost specimen of human men. 

Bucky chuckled. “Oh, does Daddy have a tricycle too?” he asked, his lips twitching as he met Steve’s amused gaze. “Because that I have to see.” 

“No, Daddy will be running alongside Joey,” Steve said, huffing as continued to move things around in the truck. 

“But that’s cheating,” he pointed out playfully. He would have been more than willing to empty out his checking account just to see Steve’s huge body crammed on a kid’s bike. All those muscles… all that man… oof . 

Joey giggled, pointing at his dad. “You a cheater, daddy.” 

“No, I’m not,” Steve answered cheerfully. 

“Uh, huh. But I’m superfast,” Joey bragged, rolling along the walkway using his feet, and then careening slowly into the bushes. Bucky managed to grab the handlebars before the kid went toppling over. 

“Whoa there, Speed Racer. Gotta be careful.” 

Joey stood up and dragged the little bike back onto the path. “I god it, I god it.”

Sharon came out of the house then, with a dish towel in her hand. “Hey, Bucky. All ready for the big trip?” She was smiling all big and bright at him. 

He waved, returning her smile. “Am I ready? Mmm… as ready as I’ll ever be? I haven’t really done this before to this extent.” 

“I can’t believe he talked you into camping,” she admitted as she approached him. “I can only wonder what he did to persuade you. Must have been something good considering you aren’t really… y’know.” 

“The outdoorsy type?” he mused, huffing in amusement. “How could you tell?” 

“I’m sure the two of you will make it fun.” 

“I hope so.” Really he was speaking with way more bravado than he felt. Was he excited to be spending time alone with Steve? Duh. But to be out in the wild?? Maybe he should have tried to persuade Steve into going to a cabin or someplace with actual four walls and a door that locked. 

Sharon shot a curious glance toward Steve. “He’s never taken anyone camping before.” 

He laughed. “Well, maybe they didn’t seem as manly-man as me.” 

She grinned, eyeing his skinny jeans and multi-colored hoodie. “Yeah, that must be it.” 

He felt a tug on his pants and looked down to find Joey next to him holding out his arms. He picked Joey up and they stared at each other in silence. Joey had a little red stain around his mouth as if he’d been drinking fruit punch, and he smelled like fruit snacks and marshmallows. “Buckyy, why can’t I come too?” There was a small little line between his brows as he spoke, yet another thing that resembled Steve so much. 

Bucky grimaced, looking toward Steve. “Oh, well…” 

Sharon stepped in. “Because who would stay with me? Do you want me to be alone and sad?” she asked. 

Joey frowned. “No.” He was playing with the strings of Bucky’s hoodie, holding on tight. “But I wanna go with Bucky.” 

“Maybe another time, pal,” Steve walked up and put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “First I have to see if Bucky can stand being with me for four days straight without wanting to strangle me.” 

He met his boyfriend’s gaze, grinning softly. “That goes both ways you know.” He had a strong hunch that it would most definitely be Steve contemplating murder because the odds would surely be stacked against him. 

Joey didn’t look too pleased, but he wasn’t the kind of kid to throw a tantrum about it. Thank god. His little bottom lip poked out a bit and he was still holding onto Bucky’s jacket, but he nodded eventually. “Okay. But Daddy will you bwing me a pinecone?” Joey’s expression was surprisingly very serious. 

“Of course.” He took his son from Bucky and held him tight. Bucky’s heart melted watching the two of them together. Steve had his eyes closed and it was obvious from the sad tilt of his mouth that he’d miss the little guy a lot. Steve stroked Joey’s back with his big, strong hand and sighed. “You have to be a good boy for daddy though.” 

Joey nodded his head frantically. “Yes. Yes, yes.” 

“Promise me?”

“Yep.” And then Joey was swiveling towards him. “And Bucky too. I be a good boy for Bucky too.” 

He smiled softly at the kid, struck at just how much he was an absolute gonner on the little man. If him and Steve didn’t last, it was going to hurt like a motherfucker to walk away. Six months in and yet it had felt like a lifetime of so many moments, so many memories, and so many more to come that he looked forward to. 

All too soon they were saying their goodbyes to Joey and Sharon, and loading up into the truck. They waved as they took to the street, not speaking for a moment. When he looked at Steve, he had a funny, melancholy expression on his face. 

He reached over and took ahold of Steve’s arm, dragging it into his lap and linking their fingers together. “You okay?” he asked softly. 

Steve nodded, and smiled sheepishly. “I’ve never left him for this long before.” 

“He’ll be fine.” 

“I know.” 

“I’m sure Sharon will keep him so distracted he’ll hardly have time to miss you.” 

Steve sighed a big breath, and it was like all the tension had left his body. When he glanced back toward Bucky, he looked brighter. “You’re right. Besides, I’ve really been excited for this. Can’t wait to get you out there. Just me and you… all alone.” 

His chest tightened with emotion. This man… his man. “Me too,” he said, all breathy like a lovestruck fool. “Although isn’t it funny how romantic yet creepy that can sound?” he teased. “Me and you all alone in the woods. It’s like it could be the romantic getaway of the year or it could be where one or both of us gets slaughtered.” 

Steve was looking at him quietly for a few seconds, before he erupted into laughter, big and booming in the car. “Jesus, Buck,” he managed to get out. “This is why I--” but then he was cutting himself off and there was something panicky that flashed across Steve’s face before he was covering it smoothly by rubbing his hand across his face. “I knew it would be something to take you there. Brock was pissed when I told him but I know this is going to go so good, sweetheart.” 

He snorted. “That sounds like him so I’m not really surprised by that.” 

“He’s been at me to go for years.” Steve rolled his eyes. “Serves him right for being such an ass at the paintball place.” 

Bucky glanced at him. “Please tell me you didn’t plan this whole trip just to show it off to Brock.” Because little did Steve know he would be punishing Bucky, too. 

Steve frowned. “No, of course not.” 

“Okay. Good.” 

Steve’s smile widened. “But that doesn’t stop me from enjoying the fact that he deserved to be put in his place after acting like that.” His boyfriend may be smiling now, but he certainly hadn’t  been when the day after paintballing, Bucky had taken off his shirt and Steve had immediately seen the bruises on his chest. From there he’d taken the liberty to distract Steve using more pleasurable methods. 

“I can imagine he said some really nice things about me when he found out.” He glanced at Steve just in time to see his smile fade. “He did, didn’t he? What did he say?” 

Shrugging, Steve concentrated on passing a slow truck. “It doesn’t matter what he thinks.” 

“He can bite me,” he growled. “I did a bunch of research online, and I’m fairly confident I’ll do just fine out in the wilderness.” He crossed his arms and stared out the window. He’d made it a point of studying every article he could find on surviving the outdoors. He knew he was still reliant on Steve, but he figured it couldn’t hurt to have some knowledge of his own. 

“See? Even better. It’s going to be great. I’ve got all the knowledge we need right up here.” Steve tapped at his temple. “Don’t you worry, baby; I’ll take care of everything” 

He hummed, ignoring the little shiver that traveled down his spine. He gripped at Steve’s hand harder. 

_____

After a two-hour drive, Steve pulled off onto a dirt road, and they traveled another half hour deep into the black oak and big leaf maple trees. He inhaled through his open window, enjoying the fresh scent and pure nature as it all but slapped him in the face. They were the kind of smells you didn’t get back home. 

Once Steve found a suitable spot, he pulled under some trees and they went about setting up camp. Steve made a point of keeping the sleeping area slightly over a hundred yards from the cooking area and food storage site. 

“It was either five dollars a day for a wilderness camping permit or thirty dollars for an annual pass,” Steve said, stacking rocks in a circle for a fire pit. “I took a leap of faith that you’ll love camping with me so much I divulged in the twelve month one.” 

“Maybe.” He stood with his hands on his hips, staring at the high mountains. “It’s so quiet and beautiful here. I feel like I’m totally zen already.” 

Steve nodded and stood, brushing the dirt from his hands. “Being up here is special. Just wait until I get you inside that tent tonight. There’s something about the fresh air that brings the animal out in me.” 

Bucky snorted. “Should I be afraid for my virtue?” 

“Oh, hell yes.” Steve grabbed his flint and his knife. He struck them together over the tinder he’d fathered, until the nursed sparks got a small fire going. Then he continued to feed the flames until it seemed like it could keep going on its own. 

Then he noticed a big plastic barrel thing to the side. “What’s that, a keg?” he asked with a smile. 

“No, that’s our bear proof food storage container.” 

A ripple of fear went through him. 

“Oh.” Bears. Not his favorite subject. 

Steve must have noticed how uncomfortable he looked. “So long as we’re careful with our food, we’ll be fine.” 

“I don’t like bears.” 

Steve flashed a white smile. “As long as we follow the rules, the bears won’t be interested in us. If we don’t attract them, they won’t come. It’s simple, sweetheart.” 

He exhaled roughly. “Okay. I trust you.” 

Somehow, Steve’s smile got even bigger as he stepped into Bucky’s space. “That’s kind of sweet.” Then, Steve kissed him and he felt better instantly. 

“You’d wrestle a bear for me, right?” 

Steve laughed and brushed Bucky’s hair back from his forehead. “Of course,” he grinned. “But I also brought my Glock 19.” 

“Oh, I see how it is.” 

Over the span of the next hour, they got the majority of the supplies from the truck and then made burgers for dinner. He wasn’t really shocked to find that both him and Steve didn’t have phone signals, but it was still a bummer to see that ‘x’ in the top corner. There was a mild breeze whispering through the leaves above them, and the occasional hoot of an owl could be heard. At moments it felt as if it should be eerie, but surprisingly, it made him feel at ease. One could never find this type of quiet in the city. 

At one point they laid back on the outdoor blanket that Steve brought and took the time to watch their surroundings, listening to the peaceful chirping of the birds around them. Bucky’s eyelids fluttered as Steve raked his fingers through his hair, the feeling making him almost drowsy. “You know, I did some research before we came out here,” he said a bit sleepily. If Steve kept it up, he’d be totally out in a few minutes. 

“About what?” Steve cocked one brow, looking curious.

“Edible plants in the area. I prefer to eat this type of stuff,” he glanced pointedly to where their chips and packaged snacks were, “But I now know that I can eat dandelions.” 

Steve grinned. “Is that so?” 

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded. “Doesn’t mean I want to, but it’s an option if we end up stranded out here.” Then he pointed toward some straggly chickweed near them. “That stuff is a great source of vitamins A, D B complex and C. Wanna hear more?” 

Steve’s smile stretched. “Please, sweetheart, dazzle me with more of your fascinating information.” 

He hummed as if in thought. “Let’s see, the blackberry bush is a member of the rose family. The leaves are a good source of vitamin C and also tannins.” 

“So I could just eat a blackberry bush instead of drinking a glass of wine with my meal?” 

Bucky’s lips twitched. “You could. Although to be honest I don’t drink wine because I want tannins.” 

“Oh? I only drink wine for health benefits.” 

Bucky snorted. “Yeahhhh. Riiiight.”

The blond pointed to the sprouts of grass nearby. “How about the grass? Can we eat that?” 

“Yeah. But without a juicer you could chew it and swallow the juice, and then spit out the pulp.” 

Steve sat up and reached up to fix his own hair, before pulling Bucky up to join him. “Most people I run into while on the job prefer to smoke grass, not chew it.” 

Bucky laughed. “Good one.” 

It didn’t take long before any evidence of their meal was cleaned away so that they didn’t attract animals. Once everything was tidy, they went for a short walk. Since it was already late afternoon, Steve didn’t want to go too far from camp. He told Bucky that it gets dark really quickly once the sun begins to go down behind the peaks. Steve said that it was a small preview for what they would be experiencing tomorrow. 

Steve held his hand as they trudged along, and his stomach flip-flopped at the open affection in Steve’s gaze. As they traveled, Steve talked about Joey a lot. Bucky didn’t mind. Not one bit, actually. He knew Steve missed his son and telling stories about the kid made him feel better. Bucky was just happy to listen to Steve’s voice and press close together as they explored. 

“There’s a stream down there beyond those trees. Tomorrow or the next day we can go fishing, and maybe catch some trout for dinner.” He looped his arm over Bucky’s as he spoke. 

“Sure,” Bucky nodded. “But you’ll have to help me. I’ve never been fishing before.” 

“Never?” Steve sounded surprised. 

“Well, I know I played a fishing game on the Wii and reached the highest level.” He smiled as he rested his head on Steve’s shoulder. 

“That’s so sad, Buck.” 

Bucky shook his head, grinning. “Shut up. It was fun. I can’t even tell you how many perfect specimens I got. So many gold stars. All without getting any guts on me.” 

“Oh,” Steve’s brows raised and his arms went to Bucky’s waist, pulling them flush. “Maybe you should teach me tomorrow. You know, since you’re such an expert.” 

“Don’t underestimate my skills, Stevie,” he tutted sarcastically. “I just might surprise you.” 

“You usually do,” Steve said softly. A spark of lust rolled through Steve’s gaze as their eyes met, but Steve cleared his throat and continued on, pulling Bucky along. “Okay, let’s keep walking.” 

“Whatever you say.” 

“Trust me,” Steve looked at him. “I want to fuck you right on this spot, but I saw some scat back by that bush, and I would hate to meet a bear with my pants around my ankles while balls deep inside of you, babe.” Steve grinned, taking the lead again. 

Bucky looked over his shoulder nervously. “Right there?” 

“We’re fine. Let’s just keep our eyes and ears open.” He followed Steve for another half hour down the dusty trail to a quiet grove of oats. There was a gently moving river, and a spattering of bright yellow flowers. 

“This is so beautiful,” he muttered. The late afternoon was warm and his clothes were sticking to his sweaty skin. “God, that water looks amazing.” 

Steve winked at him. “Care to join me for a swim?” 

“Really?” he asked, his voice rising at the end. He looked around cautiously. “What if someone comes?” 

“I wouldn’t suggest anything like this in the summer, but this time of year most people are only in the main picnic areas.” Steve pulled his shirt off, and the sight of his toned, muscled abdomen had Bucky’s heart revving. He gave the water one more look before stripping down to his briefs and reaching out for Steve’s hand. 

Together they waded in carefully, bracing themselves on large boulders. The water was a little on the cold side, but it felt amazing on his heated skin. “Fuck, this is awesome,” he sighed, rubbing some water on his face. 

Steve dove under the water and surfaced a few feet away, grinning. “Isn’t this the best?” 

Bucky nodded as he inched toward him. When he got close enough, he snaked his legs around Steve’s waist and wrapped his arms tight over Steve’s neck, their chests flush together. “You really know how to show a guy a good time, huh?” he murmured against Steve’s lips. 

Steve smiled against him before bringing their lips together. Large hands drifted up and down Bucky’s sides, his back, his thighs and arms, as Steve took control of the kiss, licking and sucking against Bucky’s mouth. Everything about Steve may have taken full demand of Bucky’s attention, but he was aware enough to know that Steve was inching them toward one of the large rocks that stuck halfway out of the water. 

Gently Steve leaned forward until Bucky’s back was pressed against the warm stone. He had a split second where he was able to enjoy the warmth of the sun on his skin until Steve was hoisting himself up and leaning over him. Steve turned the kiss into something more hungry, his tongue gliding between Bucky’s lips. The bulk of Steve’s body covered Bucky’s, the blond’s full weight pressing him into the rock beneath him but not in a way that was painful. 

Not that Bucky cared. Even if he was being impaled he doubted he would mind Steve worshipping him like this. All Bucky knew is that he wanted more. 

Steve kissed a trail down his neck to Bucky’s chest, where he nipped at one of Bucky’s beaded nipples. Steve pushed his thumb under the waistband of his soaked briefs and peeled them downward until Bucky’s erection poked into his thigh. He did the same with Steve’s underwear until they were both entirely naked, sliding against each other urgently. They didn’t say much. Just a desperate, breathy ‘fuck me’ that tumbled from Bucky’s lips, and Steve’s groans as he pushed Bucky’s legs up and pressed himself in. They were on the same page, desperately horny and craving release. 

The friction was amazing and it had them both on edge within mere minutes. He gripped at Steve’s meaty shoulders and they stared into each other’s eyes as their pleasure built and built and built until it was forcing them both to leap over the edge with each other. Their moans joined with the cry of a hawk overhead, and the breeze hissing through the trees. Steve claimed his mouth and held on tight as they shuddered through the ecstasy, and once the quaking of their bodies subsided, they pressed close and simply breathed each other in. 

Steve cupped Bucky’s face between his hands and he looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. Instead, the blond sighed and kissed the side of Bucky’s throat. 

“Camping is awesome,” Bucky whispered, his breath still coming to him in short pants. 

Steve grinned and moved to lean beside him on the boulder. “That was a first for me.” 

“Me too.” 

His boyfriend grabbed Bucky’s waterlogged hand, and released a heartfelt sigh. Again, Bucky got the feeling that Steve wanted to say something to him, but he was holding his tongue for whatever reason. Which was just… odd. They usually didn’t keep much from each other.

“What’s wrong?” he murmured gently, raking his fingers delicately against Steve’s scalp.

Steve shook his head. “Nothing. Everything is perfect. Beyond perfect, really.” He seemed sincere when he met Bucky’s gaze. 

Bucky squinted at him. “Are you sure?”  

“Yeah.” The blond’s gaze shifted away from him. “But I’m starting to get cold. You ready to get back to camp?” 

He nodded and let Steve help him up, before they made their way to shore. They grabbed their belongings and dressed quickly. Bucky’s legs were shaky as he put his clothes on, and the cool breeze did nothing to help him from shivering. 

Steve looked at the sky and ran his fingers through his damp hair. “We need to get a move on. We don’t want to be on the trail at night.” He didn’t add because of the bear shit, but Bucky knew what he meant. 

The walk back to the camp was harder because it was uphill, and Steve kept them moving at a pace that had Bucky grasping at his side when he got a strong cramp. He did his best not to breathe heavily, but by the time they got there, he was damn near exhausted and pissed that he wasn’t in better shape. When he glanced at his boyfriend, he damn near gawked when Steve hadn’t even broken a sweat. It took only a few minutes once they reached camp before the sun disappeared behind the tall, dark mountains that surrounded them. The fire had almost died out, but with a little coaxing Steve had it roaring in no time. They changed into dryer clean clothes and set about making dinner. 

Steve sat by the fire as the chili heated in a pot, and he called Joey to tell him goodnight. Beside him, Bucky watched as Steve spoke to his son. The love was so obvious on his face, and Steve seemed happy as he laughed at whatever silly thing Joey was saying. Bucky’s heart swelled with odd emotions as he observed him. This man-- his man-- was everything a guy could want. Steve was the prime specimen-- father, husband, and lover material all to the max. And Bucky craved for all of it. It terrified him. 

Steve hung up and turned to him. “Sharon says hi, and Joey wants you to bring him a lizard.” 

Bucky’s jaw dropped. “What?” he yelped. “How am I supposed to do that?” 

Steve just grinned. “No idea. I just have to bring him a pinecone.” 

“That’s totally not fair,” he murmured but let his gaze scour the floor, looking for any signs of the reptile. He had no fucking clue how he would even go about capturing one. 

“Don’t stress about it,” Steve told him, laughing still. “He’ll probably forget he asked.” 

“You mean like he’s forgotten about telling me to get a dog?” he smirked. “Your child doesn’t forget anything.”

Steve rubbed at his eyes. “God, tell me about it.”

They took to their dinner soon after; Steve served them both as Bucky popped open their drinks. They sat next to each other and ate in comfortable silence. Off in the distance, an animal howled. When there were followed up yips, Bucky figured it was a coyote. He didn’t have a clue, but he knew coyotes were in the area. Still, he squinted into the darkness around them, leaning further into Steve. “Coyotes don’t eat people, right?” he asked after he swallowed. 

Steve coughed. “What?” 

Bucky looked at him. “Coyotes. They don’t hunt humans to eat. Right?” 

The blond grimaced, shaking his head with mirth clear in his eyes. “Seriously, babe? This is what you want to talk about while we’re having dinner?” 

“I heard those coyotes and it made me think of whether or not they could be dangerous,” he explained. “Somehow I didn’t read that far. I know they nibble on dead bodies, but they don’t actually kill people, do they? And I know I’ve heard stories of them trying to drag off babies and small kids,” he continued on. “I just figured maybe you had some old timey hunting guy stories about coyotes.” 

Steve snorted. “Because I’m such an experienced hunter?” 

“Uh…” Bucky gave him a pointed once over, letting his gaze go down Steve’s long, muscled body and that familiar hunger for Steve nipped at him. He looked away only to try to steady his pulse. “Hate to break it to you, Stevie, but you are a manly man. And I know you go hunting with the guys at least once a year.”

Steve rolled his eyes playfully. “I think they could be dangerous if they were rabid. But otherwise they aren’t usually aggressive.” He finished off his food and reached for Bucky’s empty plate. “But to put you at ease, we need to wash these so we don’t attract animals.” 

Bucky was eager to do exactly that. They cleaned up meticulously, and put any food they’d taken out during the day in the bear proof container. Then they carried the storage can far away from the camp and propped it against a rock so it wouldn’t roll away easily if a bear did decide to try and get in it. When they came back, they sat by the fire, listening to it crack and pop, as they stared  up at the hundreds of stars that were visible in the velvety black night. 

“It’s so beautiful out here,” he said quietly, awestruck. 

“Yeah. You can’t see the stars in the city because of all the urban lights.” They were silent a little longer until Steve spoke again. “Joey said to tell you he loves you.” 

Slowly, a smile curved against his lips, but he couldn’t find the words to say. Was it too soon? He didn’t even know what the correct response was so he didn’t say anything at first. They hadn’t even said those words to each other yet. 

“Yeah…” Steve laughed gruffly. “I figured that would be your response.” He turned to look at Steve, but the blond’s expression was hidden in the night. He’d never said ‘I love you’ to anybody as an adult. He’d said it to his dad when he was really little, but never as an adult. He’d made a point of keeping people at arm’s length emotionally. And if you never let anyone in, you couldn’t fall in love with them. And if you never fell in love with them, they couldn’t hurt you. Right?

It had seemed safest that way in the beginning, and eventually it had become a habit to be closed off, but Steve had found a crack in his armor, and now he had to figure out what to do about it. 

“Well, I love the little guy, too,” he admitted softly. “And if it isn’t actual love, then I can admit that the idea of anybody hurting a hair on Joey’s head will make me go to actual jail this time,” he smiled. 

Steve hummed and reached out to intertwine their feelings together. “Okay. So you’re fond of my kid.” His eyes were glittery in the dark. “Got any warm and fuzzy feelings toward me?” 

He leaned over on his side and propped his head up on his hand. “You gotta know I do.” It was funny to him that Steve wasn’t able to tell how into him that Bucky was. And by into him, Bucky was completely and entirely head over heels for the man. 

Steve bit into his lip, regarding Bucky closely. “I think you do.” He sighed. “But then I talk myself out of it.” 

Bucky frowned. “Why?” 

“Mostly because I know I’ve fallen so hard, and I don’t want to find out that this whole thing is ust sex for you.” Steve’s honesty took him off guard as usual. 

He let his hand skim up Steve’s chest, squeezing one of Steve’s meaty pecs and leaning in to press up close. His lips were an inch away from Steve’s. “The sex is fucking fantastic,” he whispered with a smile. “But honestly, Stevie, I wouldn’t be up in the mountains as mosquito bait right now just because you’re insanely good in bed.” 

“Okay,” Steve nodded. 

“Lots of guys are good in bed,” he pointed out. 

Steve groaned. 

“Lots of guys have big cocks, too.” 

Steve scoffs. “I get it. No need for details.” 

“And lots of guys are great dads too.” He squeezed at Steve’s fingers and finally pressed his lips to the blond’s. It was short and sweet, but he needed to make his point. “However, none of them are you , Stevie. I’m here with you.” 

Steve smiled slowly. “Yeah, you are.” 

Bucky stayed close as he let his hand skim up and down Steve’s chest. “And when Joey says that… tell him I love him back.” 

“Yeah?” Steve’s brows lifted slightly, grinning wildly. 

Bucky nodded. “Yeah. I do love the little rascal.” 

Steve kissed him again then, their breath mingling. “Thank you.”

Looking at Steve, and being so close to him in such an open environment, Bucky felt like the timing now was just as good as ever. He couldn’t find the courage to meet Steve’s gaze this time, though. “And you’re like… the best person I’ve ever known.” His heart was banging inside his chest like pounding on a drum. “So… if things don’t work out with us it’s… um… it’s gonna hurt.” 

Pulling him closer, Steve kissed at his temple. “Oh, Buck, I’m so proud of you. That must have taken a lot out of you admitting that mushy stuff.” 

Breath whooshed from his chest. “You have no fucking idea.” Steve’s smile was so warm and open, Bucky’s heart tightened at the sight of it. Steve never pulled punches about what he wanted from him. Steve didn’t pretend to be aloof just to protect Bucky’s pride, or play games with him. He didn’t know if it was the fresh mountain air, or the higher altitude, but for some reason at that moment it cemented for him that he knew he wanted to give it his all with Steve. 

Because Steve was more than worth it. 

_____

“I’ve got water, sandwiches, and granola bars.” Steve stood with his hands on his hips, surveying the area. “The camp looks secure so I think we’re good to go.” 

Bucky finished lacing up his boots before standing up and giving Steve a thumbs up. “Ready.” 

“Did you pack a jacket like I told you? It’ll get chilly in the evening.” 

He slid his sunglasses into place. “Of course.” 

“Then let’s get going.” 

Bucky grinned as he set off following Steve. “Just to let you know, it gives me life when you do your macho man talk.” 

“Then I’ll do it more often.” With long strides he took the path they’d followed to the river yesterday, but after about ten minutes, cut to the right taking a second trail. “This is listed as a moderate hike. It’s about nine miles and it should hookup with the smaller trail a little further on.” 

“Okay,” he nodded. He stretched his legs to keep up with Steve, noticing the wind was stronger than it had been yesterday. The cool breeze swirled around them, blowing dust and sand into their faces. “I should have brought a kite,” he said, shielding his eyes. 

“Yeah, hopefully the wind will die down. But it could go either way,” Steve said ominously. 

The road was uneven and lined with big stones and plants that Bucky made sure wasn’t poison ivy. The path was also pretty shady, which combined with the strong wind, made it pretty chilly. Steve told him that it would die down once they started moving uphill. But glancing at the steep slope behind them, he knew the heat of the sun might become a factor on their return. 

As they headed further along, the bushes and trees seemed to grow thinker. There were some fallen pines, and aspens across the road but they didn’t have too hard of a time getting past them. But soon enough, after what felt like several miles, they reached what appeared to be the canyon floor. A small stream cascaded into a pond near them, and then continued down the canyon as far as he could see. 

“It doesn't look like anyone’s hiked this path in a while.” Steve pointed to some muddy footprints on the bank of the stream. “Those look about a week old.” 

“You did say it’s off season.” 

The riverbed was rocky and choked with cottonwood trees along the bank. Large boulders formed a stone bridge across the swirling water, and he carefully followed Steve to the other side. Jumping onto the firm ground, he gave a sigh of relief. If he’d fallen in, it wasn’t dangerous in any way because it was shallow, but he’d have been soaked and that was definitely on the top of his list of the things he wanted to avoid. 

Steve squeezed his shoulder. “How are you holding up?” 

He inhaled the fresh air and realized he felt absolutely invigorated . “Great, actually,” he admitted. It was nice to get the blood flowing through his muscles. 

Steve’s face lit with pleasure. “See, told you it wasn’t all bad out here.” 

“So far it’s been a thousand times better than expected.” 

“Do you want to take a break?” He scrambled up the slope and crouched on a large rock over the river’s edge. “We should hydrate and have a granola bar or something.” 

Steve was clearly the captain here, Bucky was just along for the journey. “Sure,” he nodded before joining Steve on the boulder. They ate their snack in silence, enjoying the sun and serenity of the moment. It was comforting to know that him and Steve were the type that could be at peace without having to yammer at each other. That was a rarity for him since silence with his dad hadn’t been a good thing. When his dad hadn’t been talking, it often meant he’d been revving up for a major meltdown. 

“Why’d you become a cop, anyways?” he asked. The question sort of popped out because he’d been thinking about his pops. And really, they’d never talked about in depth before. “I mean, I know you said you like helping people, but that’s so cliché.” 

Steve grinned. “You don’t believe me?” 

Bucky laughed. “No. I do.” If there was anyone who’d decided to wear the uniform of a cop for the right reasons he had a feeling it was Steve. “I just wondered if there was a deeper meaning for you.” 

Steve pursed his lips thoughtfully. “I think I’ve always been pretty empathetic. Even as a kid anyone picking on someone weaker bugged me and I’d step in.” 

“You were probably a knight or something in your last life. Maybe a superhero in some other multiverse.” He nibbled at an almond buried in his health bar. “No doubt you were crumpin’ on Queen Guinevere or saving New York City from aliens or something just as crazy.” 

Steve snorted. “More like having my way with Sir Lancelot in a turret somewhere.” He sighed. “Although I don’t see myself as heroic. I’m just doing my job day in day out, and trying to make a difference.” 

“Jesus, if they don’t put you on a recruitment poster they’re nuts. You scream honorable. You should go to neighborhood watch meetings and I’ll bet enrollment for the academy would double.” He smirked, and ducked when Steve threw a piece of his protein snack at him. 

“You can be such a jerk,” Steve said as he grinned. 

“It’s one of my better qualities.” The warmth of Steve’s amused gaze made his stomach tremble with excitement. God, how did Steve affect him so easily with just a look? 

“You’ve got a little color in your cheeks,” Steve noted, voice affectionate. “You look like a regular outdoorsman.” 

“I’m glad that’s all it takes.” 

Steve pulled out his cell to check the time, and then crumpled up his wrapper. “We should probably get moving.” 

Bucky nodded in agreement before scrambling to his feet as Steve did the same. The blond turned to step off the rock, and either he was closer to the edge than he’d realized, or he simply slipped, but next thing Bucky knew, Steve was tumbling off the boulder. He froze in horror for a split second and then with a startled cry, he crawled to the ledge. “Shit, Stevie, are you okay?” He said a silent prayer when he realized the drop hadn’t been very far. But still. 

Steve was on his back, sprawled awkwardly in the dirt below, one leg twisted at an odd angle. When Steve attempted to sit up, pain flashed across his face. “ Fuck .” 

“Ohmygod. Ohmygod, ohmygod , Steve. Baby, are you okay? Is it bad?” 

“Yeah,” Steve’s answer was clipped. The blond was white as a sheet, and a muscle worked quickly in his cheek. “Shit. I can’t fucking believe this.” He tried to move and winced, stifling a grunt of pain. 

Bucky scrambled to make it to the ground where Steve was and knelt beside him. The blond looked grim, his mouth a tight, straight line. Bucky didn’t know what to do. He’d never broken a bone, but he knew one thing: no leg naturally bent the way Steve’s was. 

Steve rubbed his thigh and bit his lip, closing his eyes briefly. When he looked up and met Bucky’s gaze, he could tell the blond was purposely keeping his face blank. Too blank. “I think I broke something.” 

“Are you sure?” he asked, fully aware of how panicked he sounded. 

Steve nodded, and looked like he wanted to be sick. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure.” 

He looked around at the rugged terrain of pines that surrounded them and he felt lightheaded with worry. “Oh my god.” 

Steve patted his hip as if searching for something in his pocket. “It’s okay.” His voice was faint, and Steve froze grimacing in obvious pain. After a second, he spoke softly, “I dropped my phone. Can you see it anywhere?” 

Frantically, Bucky glanced around the immediate area. He frowned and shook his head when he came up empty. “No-- Steve, it’s-- it’s not here.” 

Steve blinked at him a few times and then very calmly, he added, “Would you mind looking in a wider area?” 

With a feeling of dread he scrambled to his feet and expanded his search toward the water only a few feet from them. He wasn’t someone who bothered talking to God very often, but he said a couple of quick prayers as he strode along the bank. His gaze was fixed on the thick brown mud, and he searched the weeds and cattails along the edge for the phone. But if it was there somewhere, he couldn’t see it. 

“Any luck?” Steve asked him weakly. 

As he turned to answer him, a metallic glimmer caught the corner of his eye. Clenching his jaw against the panic that gripped him, he forced himself to approach the object in the river. There at the bottom of the stream was Steve’s phone. He exhaled ruggedly, licking at his lips. “Luck is probably not the word I’d use.” 

Steve squinted at him, his chest rising and falling quickly. “Oh fuck.” He slapped the ground with his palm. “God damn it, no.” 

Bucky opened his mouth to speak but had zero words. He climbed to the edge and stretched, pulling the phone out of the water. The screen was cracked, and he knew better than to even try to turn it on. 

“Are you fucking serious? My phone fell in the water?” Steve sounded borderline hysterical. 

Bucky nodded. “We won’t turn it on until later. I’ll open it up and try to dry it out but I don’t have high hopes.” He’d saved phones from water before, but none of them had fallen in a river, and he’d had rice and things to dry the circuits with. Out here in the wild there was no way to really even work on the phone properly. 

“The shit just keeps happening,” Steve muttered. Bucky really didn’t want to panic, but it was obvious Steve was rattled that his phone had been destroyed. Until they’d discovered the fate of his phone, he must have felt as if they still had some control over the situation. Now, judging from Steve’s tense expression, it was apparent that Steve didn’t feel as confident anymore. 

He took a deep breath hoping it would settle his nerves even just a little. “Okay, well, um, we don’t have our phones. That sucks but it is what it is. Maybe we need to focus on your leg?” Steve scowled at his injured leg with disgust. “What do we do now? You need medical attention.” As scared as he was, he really was mostly worried about the fact that Steve thought he had a broken bone. He knew there could be all sorts of complications from broken bones. “Do you think the fracture punctured the skin?”

Steve grimaced while glancing at his jean-covered leg. “I don’t-- I don’t think so. I don’t see any blood on my pants. I had a compound fracture once and it felt different.” 

“If it’s an open fracture that could be dangerous.” He knew bacteria in the outdoors would be bad news if the bone had pushed through the flesh. 

“Don’t worry about me, sweetheart.” Even as he gritted his teeth against the obvious pain, Steve’s concern for him was kicking in. “I’ll get us back to the campsite safely.” 

He almost laughed but it wasn’t the least bit funny. He knew that for all of Steve’s bravado, he was the one who needed to save them at the moment, and that realization was overwhelming. He wasn’t hero material. He wasn’t the kind of guy who fashioned splints from the bones of coyotes and went all Bear Grylls in situations like these. He was the one standing in the background, wringing his hands together and hoping guys like Steve would take over. 

“What do we need to do first for your leg?” he asked. 

“We need to stabilize the bone.” Steve gestured toward his backpack a few feet away. “I have a SAM splint in there.” 

Bucky had no idea what Steve was talking about, but he unzipped the pack and dug around looking for something shaped like a pole. When he couldn’t see anything like that, he turned to Steve in confusion. “What does it look like?” 

Sweat was beading on his upper lip and it was obvious he was trying not to show how much pain he was in. He swallowed loudly. “Sorry, Buck. It’s an orange roll. Feels like foam.” 

Bucky frowned. “Really?” He continued to dig and finally found what he was talking about. He held the bundle up. “This?” 

Steve nodded and swallowed again, stifling a groan. “Open the bag.” 

“This feels… too soft,” he muttered, tearing open the package with trembling fingers. 

“That’s how it’s supposed to be.” Steve sounded breathless. “There should be some medical tape in there too.” 

Bucky found the roll of tape and carried it all to him. Kneeling over, Bucky hesitated, bringing his bottom lip between his teeth. “I… Stevie, I don’t know what to do.” 

Wincing, Steve gave him a weak smile. “I know. It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ll talk you through it.” 

“Okay. Okay,” he nodded, trying to reassure himself as he unfolded the orange mesh object. “F-fuck.” 

“First I need you to straighten my leg.” Steve kept his voice even. “It’s going to hurt so ignore any noises or sounds I make and just do what you need to do.” 

He grimaced and stared at Steve, feeling terrified. “I don’t want to hurt you.” 

Steve sucked in a big breath and bit his lip. “Sweetheart, I need you to do this. I can’t straighten my leg on my own. It’s going to be so much worse if you don’t get my leg in the correct position and split it soon.” 

He closed his eyes and exhaled roughly. “Okay,” he whispered. He set the split down and touched Steve’s foot, moving it slightly. Steve cried out and cursed, which caused Bucky to let go. “Shit. Steve, I’m sorry. I can’t--

“You can,” Steve interrupted him. He was leaning on one elbow but he fell onto his back and cussed some more, his chest heaving. He stayed like that for a moment while Bucky watched him, wanting to throw up in the bushes nearby. 

When Steve’s breathing was semi-normal, he spoke up again. “You have to ignore me. There’s no fucking way you can move my leg that I’m not going to be in agony. It’s okay. I’m expecting it. But you have to do this. You can’t stop because I’m yelling or anything,” Steve told him. “Please, baby.” 

The desperation in Steve’s voice got to him. He nodded again. “I promise. I’ll… I’ll just keep going even if you black out.” 

“I should be so lucky,” Steve said breathlessly. “Alright. I’m ready. Remember, don’t stop.” 

“Yes.” He counted to ten and then clenched his jaw as he grasped Steve’s foot and started moving his leg gently. Steve gasped and hit the dirt with his fist, letting loose a string of curse words that actually made Bucky blush, but he didn’t stop. He slowly guided Steve’s calf into a more normal position, ignoring the fact that he could feel bone grinding against bone. He was queasy but he didn’t pause until his leg was aligned with the other one perfectly. Then slowly, he released Steve’s limb, and Steve eventually fell silent. 

Steve was pale, with tears streaked down his smudged cheeks. His large body was trembling and Bucky took his hand, overcome with worry for him. “I-- I think I did it. Are you okay?” he asked. He stroked his thumb over Steve’s pulse, his gut churning with fear. 

The muscles in Steve’s throat constricted as he swallowed. After a second, he spoke, “I’m good. Thank you, Buck.” He squeezed Bucky’s fingers and winced again. “Okay. Now we have to get the splint on.” Steve’s voice shook and it was the first indication he’d given so far that he was possibly scared. Bucky didn’t know if Steve was afraid of the pain, or concerned they wouldn’t be able to get out of the situation. But whatever it was causing Steve’s voice to tremble, the second Bucky heard it, he felt a calm determination settle over him. Steve needed him and he wasn’t going to let his man down. Sure he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing, but by every heavenly entitity, he was going to do whatever it took to get Steve back home. 

Bucky grabbed the package the splint came in and scanned the directions. “It says it needs to be molded against your leg to be sure it fits securely.” He moved to the other side of Steve and started pressing the splint against his good leg. 

“What are you doing?” Steve asked weakly, frowning at him. 

“I’m using your good leg as a guide to mold it. I’m assuming both your legs are similar in size and shape. There’s no way I’m pressing this on your bad leg to try and contour it.” 

Surprise fluttered through Steve’s brown eyes. “Oh. Yeah, that’s a good idea.” 

He pushed the splint against Steve’s good calf until he was fairly certain it was in the right shape. Then he moved to Steve’s injured limb and took a deep breath. “You ready?” he asked. 

Steve pressed his lips together and nodded. “I can’t wait.” 

Bucky gave a miserable laugh and applied the splint to the broken leg. He’d love to say Steve wasn’t in as much pain this time, but he’d be lying. Steve cried out and covered his face, muffling the words spewing from his lips. His groans and growls broke Bucky’s heart clean into two, but he stubbornly pushed onward, molding the orange foam to Steve’s calm. With it secure, he then grabbed the tape and began winding it around the split carefully, trying not to hurt him anymore than necessary. “Please be fast, please be fast,” he muttered to himself as he worked as quickly as he could. There was sweat rolling down his spine as he did so. 

Steve gave a harsh, short grunt right before he let another string of bad words spill into the air. Bucky was well aware that his work was slow and clumsy, but he did the best he could. There was no way anyone could call his tape job professional, but what he lacked in finesse, he hoped he made up for in tenacity. 

He didn’t stop until every inch of the makeshift cast was taped firmly in place. When he was finished, he sat on the ground, every muscle in his body utterly exhausted. Steve was breathing hard but not speaking, and his eyes were closed. After a few moments, the pain seemed to die down enough for Steve to speak. 

“Thank you, sweetheart.” 

“ Steve .” He gripped Steve’s fingers and kissed at the blond’s knuckles, scooting to lie beside him. Resting on his elbow, he stroked Steve’s cheek. Steve’s eyes fluttered open and he turned his face toward Bucky’s. There was a deep line that was between those bright blue eyes, and he knew from the hard set of Steve’s jaw that the blond was in a lot of pain. But Steve’s gaze still softened the minute it came to rest on him. 

“I’m sorry.” Steve’s voice was barely a whisper. 

Bucky shook his head. “No. Don’t say that, Stevie.” 

Steve pressed his fist to his forehead. “Fuck. I can’t believe I dragged you all the way out here and did something stupid like this.” 

“Hey, accidents happen.” 

“Not to me they don’t.” Steve sounded irritable. Not that he could blame the blond. Steve casted a way glance at the sky. “We need to think about our next step.” Bucky nodded, looking down at Steve’s legs. There was a question he wanted to ask, but Steve beat him to it. “I won’t be able to walk. I could hop, but not for long.” 

“Maybe I could carry you?” he said, but his voice definitely wasn’t confident. He had no illusions that he was fireman material, but he felt like he had to at least offer.

Steve smiled softly. “If you tried to carry me back the way we came it’s uphill and you’d die.” He sighed. “And if we keep going the way we were, we’ll just get deeper and deeper into the middle of nowhere. I hate to tell you this, sweetheart, but we should accept the fact that we’re camping here at least for the night and try to move to higher ground.” 

“Okay.” He tried to swallow, but his throat felt like sand. 

Steve pointed up the slope. “We won’t go too far.” He scowled at his leg. “I can’t anyway, but I saw some bear tracks along the river earlier and I’d be more comfortable if we distanced ourselves from the water.” 

Bucky’s eyes widened. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” 

Steve winced, and bit his lip against the pain. “Because… because at the time we were just passing through the area and I didn’t think there was any reason for concern. But in the light of my dive off that fucking rock, I think it’s better if we keep a safe distance form the water.” 

“Okay,” he nodded. “You’re the expert.” 

Steve scowled at his splintered leg. “Obviously.” 

_____

He’s not going to sugar coat things and pretend getting farther up the mountainside was easy. Because it wasn’t. Steve spotted a notch that he thought we should aim for and he scratched and clawed his way there with the ferocity of a goddamn honey badger. There were times that Steve needed his help, and Bucky knew it bothered him that he had to rely on him at all, but Bucky tried not to take it personally. After all, he realized Steve was a self-sufficient type of man and relying on someone who would generally be considered much weaker physically than him must have been difficult. But what would have taken him a half hour to climb, took Steve double that. 

By the time they reached the summit Steve was drenched in sweat and completely winded. He gave Steve water and once his breathing calmed, Steve drank the entire thing. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Steve peered over the edge at how far they’d climbed. “This should be far enough.” He sounded relieved. Bucky couldn’t imagine the idea of having to climb any higher. 

The rocky alcove Steve had chosen was mostly flat granite with patches of mossad lichen covering the rough edges. There were some big boulders against the hill that they could use as shelter at night time. But in the meantime, Bucky gathered some smaller rocks and created a fire ring, before collecting as much wood as his energy level would allow. Then, with the help of Steve’s knowledge and their trusty flint, he managed to start an actual goddamn fire. 

“That’s the first fire I’ve ever made,” he beamed. 

Steve looked pale, but he managed a weak smile. “You did so great, Buck. I’m proud of you.” He licked at his lips and winced. “But hey, sweetheart, can you get me a couple of aspirin from the pack?” 

He nodded and scrambled to get him those little pills. Steve’s hands were shaking horribly as he tried to put the tablets in his mouth, and wash them down with water. Once he’d swallowed, he closed his eyes and sat in silence, obvious discomfort as the pulse in his neck raced. Bucky stroked Steve’s hair, sick with worry. The blond’s forehead seemed a little warm, which made Bucky really fucking nervous. “I think you might have a slight fever.” 

Steve opened his eyes and shrugged. “That’s not uncommon. So long as it stays low grade, I should be fine.” 

Yeah, but what if it doesn’t? Bucky held his tongue and nodded. “Are you hungry?” He wasn’t, but he knew it would be good for them both to get some energy in their bodies, Steve especially. “I could heat up some soup? Get some more of those energy bars?” 

Steve shook his head and looked around nervously. “I don’t think it would be a good idea to eat anything. It’s never good to cook and sleep in the same area. Especially since I saw the bear activity.” 

It was impossible not to understand why he felt twice as paranoid now. If they did have a problem with an animal, Steve couldn’t exactly run away. 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “You’re right.” 

“But uh… my gun is in there,” Steve told him, nodding to the bags. “I would feel better if the backpack was closer to me.” 

He let out a nervous laugh and it earned him a narrowed eyed stare. He was quick to hold up his hands. “I’m not laughing at you, Stevie.” 

“That’s good, because there isn’t much to find humorous at the moment.” Steve’s tone was definitely crabbier than usual. Not that he could blame the man. 

So he got to work right after, trying to keep himself busy so that his nerves wouldn’t eat him alive. He helped cushion Steve by putting the backpacks behind him, letting him get propped up slightly. In the few minutes he explored around a bit, he came back to find Steve dozing. Bucky let himself study Steve’s handsome face, relaxed and free from pain in his sleep. His thick lashes rested on his ashen cheeks, and Bucky noticed he had a cut on his forehead that he hadn’t noticed earlier. Bucky had been too distracted by the broken leg. 

Bucky’s gaze dropped to Steve’s splinted limb and his stomach churned. He needed some kind of plan. It was up to him to get them out of here and that wasn’t going to happen if he didn’t have some sort of course of action. He wasn’t comfortable leaving Steve here and hiking out. For one thing, the trail they’d taken hadn’t been clear cut most of the way, and if he got lost then they’d both be in even worse trouble. 

He tapped at his chin and searched his brain for some of the stuff he’d read online before the trip. He’d been pessimistic enough that he had read articles on emergencies out in the wilderness. The more he thought about it decided that he was going to try and fashion a crutch for Steve. He didn’t think he could drag Steve out on a stretcher all by himself. But if Steve had a crutch maybe they could slowly walk their way out of this situation together. It may have seemed far-fetched, but it was a plan. 

He left Steve sleeping and headed down toward the river to search for the perfect piece of wood. He hoped to find a limb with a ‘Y’ shape for Steve to use as the armrest part. He figured that if he padded it with his jacket, he might be able to make it work. 

There were tons of trees along the bank of the river. A lot of the branches that were already fallen from the trees seemed to be dry and brittle. The last thing they needed was Steve using a crutch that collapsed under him. 

After about a half hour he found a tree that had a medium thick branch jutting from the tree. He barely contained his cry of relief as he rushed toward it and realized it was the perfect shape and size for Steve. He had to jump up and yank on the branch, tugging and pulling until finally it snapped off the wood carefully. A quick inspection later and finding it to be a good quality, he dragged it up the hill back toward their make-shift campsite. 

Once he arrived at the spot Steve was, he was surprised to find the blond awake. His stomach sank because Steve looked pale, and drawn. 

“You fell asleep,” he said, before putting the branch on the ground and kneeling beside Steve, panting. 

“I did.” Steve nodded, giving the branch a curious glance. “What’s that for?” 

He flushed, suddenly feeling insecure about his crutch idea. “Oh, well… I was going to try and make you something to help you walk.” 

Steve’s lips twitched. “Yeah?” 

“I read about it online.” He dropped his gaze to the ground and was surprised when Steve stroked his cheek. 

“That’s a great idea, hun,” Steve’s voice was soft and encouraging. “And I’m all for it. But I’d rather we try and hike out together tomorrow. I’ve been stressing thinking about sending you off on your own in case you got lost.” 

Bucky smiled, pleased at Steve’s reaction and some of the tension left his body. “I thought you’d think it was a stupid thing to do.” 

Steve sighed. “Not at all. I’m impressed at how well you’re taking this little mishap in stride.” Steve met his gaze, looking sheepish. “I was afraid you’d be angry at me for fucking everything up. But you’re taking this well, actually.” 

He frowned. “Of course I’m not mad.” 

“I’m just not used to being weak.” 

“You aren’t weak. You’re hurt, Stevie, there’s a difference.” He leaned forward and kissed his injured boyfriend, grinning softly as Steve cupped his cheek. When their kiss ended, he sighed. “You have a knife though, right?” 

Steve let out a gentle chuckle. “Yeah, babe, I got my knife.” He fished in his pocket and pulled out a decent sized knife that had Bucky’s brows raising. “Be careful with it, Bucky. It will cut your finger right the fuck off if you let it.”

Carefully, with the speed that resembled a goddamn tortoise, he unfolded the blade and examined the steel. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

Steve shifted his position slowly as if he was in pain. “So since you’re running the show, what’s your plan, boss?” He sounded breathless, and Bucky realized that Steve wanted to keep talking to distract himself from his leg.  

“I’m, um, gonna work on your crutch for the rest of the evening, and then first thing in the morning we should try and hike out.” He sent a questioning glance toward Steve to double check that it was a semi-decent plan. Steve gave him a pleased little nod. 

“It’s going to be cold up on the hill tonight.” Steve shivered as if emphasizing his point, and gave the lowering sun in the distance a wary look. 

Bucky grabbed his own jacket out of his backpack and pushed it towards the blond. “Here, put this on.” 

“What about you?” 

“I’m not cold.” 

Steve hesitated, but he slid the coat on. “Okay… but if you get cold just tell me and you can have it back.” 

He moved to put more wood on the fire and their area began to warm up some more. It gave him more than enough light to get started on the branch. He stripped off the small leafy limbs and cut the main section to the length he guessed would work for Steve’s height. For the most part, Steve talked about Joey while he worked. Bucky liked it because it made him feel like things were normal. They laughed about some of Joey’s antics and it helped him ignore the fact that darkness was rapidly descending, but eventually, it became too difficult to see well enough to use the knife so he put it away and set the crutch near Steve. 

“It looks good,” he said, fingering the wood. Then, Steve cleared his throat. “We should start as soon as the sun comes up because I’m going to be slow and need a lot of breaks.”  Shadows flickered across Steve’s worried face as he spoke, and Bucky’s heart clenched. 

He grabbed Steve's hands and held them tight. “Stevie, it’s going to be okay.” The blond nodded but his mouth pulled down at the corners. “I know I’m not exactly Mr. Wilderness but I am competent.” 

Steve’s frown deepened. “I’m not doubting you.” 

“A part of you is,” Bucky admitted quietly, shrugging. “And that’s okay. You’re used to being in control and I know this has to be hard for you.” 

“It’s not difficult because I don’t have faith in you. It’s because not only am I not able to help, I’m actually a hindrance.” Steve’s voice was gruff. 

Bucky leaned in closer. “I’m well aware that if our positions were reversed you could probably throw me over your shoulder and hike out of here. We’d probably be at the hospital by now.” Steve laughed and paused to rub at his thigh. He didn’t say otherwise, solidifying what Bucky knew. Hell, he’d probably already have a cast on his leg and chilling on Steve’s couch if it would have been the other way around. “But, if I am good at something, it’s that I don’t quit. So you can bet your fine ass that I’m going to fight against Mother Nature until I have nothing left to give.” 

Steve was still smiling, but there was something sad in his gaze. “I’ve never thought you were weak.” 

“But it’s okay if you view yourself stronger than me,” he said, meeting Steve’s gaze full on. “Because you are. And a lot of people will too. I’m not like you, and that’s okay, I get it. When it was me and my dad, it was the same way too. Computers became my escape. Not guns or working out or drinking protein smoothies. When my dad was in one of his drunken states I’d stay in my room. Sometimes he’d leave me alone.” Bucky’s mouth tasted bitter from the memories. “But sometimes he wouldn’t and… I never stood up to him,” he shrugged. 

Steve’s nostrils flared and his mouth set into a hard line. “I wish I’d met him. I’d do anything to have the chance to take him down a notch.” 

His chest tightened at how protective Steve sounded. “Thanks, but if I ever have to see him again, it’ll be too soon. We’ve both made it clear that we don’t want to be in each other’s presence ever again.” His throat was a bit dry as he continued. “But like I’ve told you before, that asshole didn’t break me. I’m tough so that’s how I know we’re going to get out of this, Stevie.”

In the firelight, Steve’s eyes looked red rimmed and glassy. “I trust you, sweetheart. I swear to God I do.” 

Bucky smiled nice and bright at him. “Good.” When he leaned forward, he was extra careful as he laid his head on Steve’s shoulder. Steve wrapped his arm around Bucky’s waist and pulled him closer, allowing Bucky to snuggle close against him, while careful not to touch him in any way that might jostle Steve’s injured leg. The blond felt warm, and when he kissed Steve’s cheek, the heat of Steve’s flesh alarmed him. He peered into Steve’s face closely. “Is your fever worse?” he asked nervously.

Licking his lips, Steve avoided his gaze. “I think it’s about the same,” Steve answered. Bucky touched his forehead again. Steve was burning up. 

“No… I think it’s worse.” 

“How about you get me an ibuprofen and see if that helps.” 

Bucky did as Steve requested, relieved he wasn’t arguing with him. He watched as Steve downed the pill, biting into his cheek. “Please don’t hide anything from me,” he told Steve, his voice unwavering. “Not something like that.” 

Steve grimaced, but nodded. “I won’t. It’s not unusual to have a fever when you break a bone. My body is trying to heal itself.” The blond drank almost the entire bottle that Bucky had handed him. In the meantime, Bucky checked through the bags they had and did a quick inventory check. With the amount that they had left, he figured that they should be okay as long as they actually made it to the car tomorrow. He refused to even consider that they wouldn’t. 

He helped Steve lie flat, rolling a spare shirt and tucking it under Steve’s head. He pulled out a thin metallic survival blanket Steve had in the pack and wrapped it around him. He made sure to take the time to feed the fire and keep it going nice and strong. A few minutes later he was lying next to Steve and stroking his fingers through Steve’s blond hair trying to help him sleep. It was important Steve be as rested as possible for the task ahead of them tomorrow. 

In the low light of the fire, darkness and nature all around them, he studied Steve’s face. It should have felt like a surprise when he realized that he was more concerned for Steve’s safety than his own, but it wasn’t. All he knew was that the idea of anything happening to Steve made him physically ill, and he wrestled with what that had to mean. 

He’s in love with Steve. 

And what did shock him is that coming to that understanding didn’t scare him. Maybe because he was so worried about Steve that he was able to put the important things in perspective. The past months with Steve had been the happiest time of his life and there was no ignoring that. When he thought about a future with Steve, he could barely contain his excitement. That wasn’t like Bucky. He wasn’t someone who looked forward to things. 

He sat there for hours, giddy with his newfound emotions and forcing himself to stay awake so he could feed the fire. At one point he heard something splashing down in the river. There were chuffing noises and some weird other things that he couldn’t begin to name. His heart banged in his chest the entire time as he held his breath listening to it all. More than once he’d glanced at Steve’s backpack, feeling safe knowing that the gun was in there. Not that he had a clue how to use it. 

He made sure the fire was roaring, hoping that might discourage any bears roaming around down by the water. But eventually the noises faded and the night became silent again except for the crackling of the fire. Ultimately, he gave into the exhaustion of the day and fell asleep. 

It felt like only minutes later he was waking back up. Except, when his eyes opened, the sun was kissing his cheeks and there were birds chirping nearby. 

He sat up abruptly, worried he’d let the fire die out, but the flames still flickered weakly in the morning light. Steve’s eyes fluttered open when Bucky moved to feed the fire, and he let out a deep yawn. He poked at the blanket that covered him. “I look like goddamn corn on the cob on the grill,” he said weakly. 

Bucky laughed, happy Steve felt well enough to make a joke. Still, he pressed his palm to Steve’s forehead. “You’re still slightly warm.” 

  Steve grabbed his hand and lowered it to his lips. “I’m fine, sweetheart.” 

He leaned down and kissed him, uncaring that they both had the worst breath imaginable. “Oh, and by the way, good call on moving up here. I think I heard some bears having a party by the river last night.” 

“Seriously?” His eyes were wide.

“Oh, yeah. They were definitely having a kegger down there.” 

Steve attempted to sit up and regretted it instantly, cursing wildly. He cringed and waited out the painful spasm. It was a slow move as Steve relaxed his muscles and inched himself into an upright position. 

Bucky handed him a protein bar. “Eat.” 

Screwing up his face in distaste, Steve took the foot. “I’m not really hungry.” 

“I know. But we have a long, long, loooong day ahead of us. You need to eat now because once we get moving I think you’re going to be hurting big time.” 

Steve squinted at him, but he unwrapped the bar and took a bite, looking in the way they would be heading soon. “It didn’t feel like a problem on the way here, but now it looks like a road of torture.” 

Bucky grabbed the crutch and then picked up the shirt Steve’d used as a pillow and placed it in the ‘Y’ at the top. “I’m hoping that will keep it from cutting into your arm.” 

Steve eyed the crutch as he finished his food. Then he held out his hands to Bucky. He pulled the blond slowly to his feet and after a few seconds of wincing against the pain, he took the makeshift crutch from him. Wedging it firmly under his armpit, Steve slowly allowed his full weight onto the wood. “So far so good,” he muttered. He sent a quick glance around the campsite. “We need to put the fire out and get moving.” 

“Okay.” He poured a tiny bit of water on the coals until Steve said they seemed like they were stifled, and then he covered them with dirt. It didn’t take him very long but when he glanced up, Steve looked white, and drained from standing that short time. “Stevie… you sure you’re up for this?” 

Steve snorted. “I don’t gotta choice, babe.” 

He ran his hand over his head and stared in the direction they would be taking. “I, uh, I could try and find my way alone still.” 

“No.” Steve’s voice was hard. “If you get lost it won’t help either of us. We’ll stick together. I know the way, and worst case scenario, we’ll spend the night out here again.” He didn’t look thrilled with the idea but he sounded confident. 

“Alright.” He was more than relieved that Steve wanted to stay together. 

They began to make their way carefully down the slope. It was slow going, but Bucky didn’t leave Steve’s side once. Steve inched his way forward, grunting and hissing with almost every step. The crutch was awkward because Steve was trying to go downhill, and was more of a mountainside than a help. But Bucky knew once they were on even ground again, Steve would be thankful to have it. Or at least he hoped so. 

Eventually they made it to the river. They sat on sun soaked rocks because Steve looked like one strong breeze would make him collapse. He made the blond drink some water and they rested for a while, but then Steve hardened his jaw and suggested they get moving on. Steve did seem to move slightly better now that they were on the level ground. He wasn’t flying along by any means, but Steve did at least cover more ground quicker now. Even though they’d only traveled a short distance it was obvious Steve was already exhausted. His shirt clung to his body with sweat, and he was breathing hard, but he kept pushing along. 

They were passing a grove of bushes and oak trees when they heard thrashing sounds. Steve stopped immediately, and struck his hand out to clamp around Bucky’s wrist, freezing him in his spot. Bucky jumped when two tiny black bear cubs came scampering out from under the oak. The two cubs froze as soon as they saw them and then both of them stood on their hind legs as if trying to get a better look at them. 

“Shit,” Steve muttered under his breath. “ Shit . Where there’s cubs, there’s a protective mama somewhere.” 

Chills ran down Bucky’s spine and he took a careful step to the side as Steve’s grip switched to his elbow. “Maybe we should go back the way we came?” 

Steve shook his head. “No, we gotta push past. Just move slowly and keep your eyes peeled.” 

They started walking again fully aware that the cubs were staring at them suspiciously. “They seem curious but not actually scared.” And if the threat of their mama coming barrelling out to feast upon him and Steve wasn’t dangling over their heads, he’d totally be down to cuddle them. They were really freaking cute, but yeah, mama bear definitely wouldn’t be happy. 

“They’ve probably been fed by campers and it makes them more trouble than if people would just obey the rules and not feed them.” He sounded winded, and he grunted loudly every now and again. “But black bear mamas aren’t as aggressive as grizzlies. Odds are the mama would just bluff charge or retreat with her kids but…” 

“But it’s best to get a move on as quickly as fucking possible,” he finished. 

“Most definitely.” Steve’s voice was raspy and breathless. He’d just finished speaking when there was a loud chuffind sound and a large, growling black bear lumbered into their path. Bucky stumbled back, startled at how close she was, but Steve stayed where he was. 

He was amazed at being so close to a wild animal. Her snout was long, and tinged with brown; nostrils flared as she lifted her head and showered her teeth at them. She smelled like wet fur and earth as she stomped her feet on the ground and continued huffing at them. 

“Let’s give her some room,” Steve said quietly. He inched away from her clumsily, going in the opposite direction of the water. The crutch got hung up in some weeds and he stopped, trying to untangle it. 

He carefully moved closer to Steve. “Put your arm around my neck and I’ll help you.” Steve exhaled roughly and nodded, looking grateful. Bucky wrapped one arm around Steve’s waist and grabbed the crutch for him. “Don’t be shy, Stevie. Put your full weight on me.” He spoke forcefully, wanting to get as much distance from the mother bear as possible. He didn’t know a fuck ton about bears, but he recognized sharp claws and teeth when he saw them. 

The bear stomped again, her thick black fur shimmering in the sunlight. Gruffing loudly, she sniffed at the ground and branches nearest her, still keeping her dark eyes on them. The cubs had scampered away toward a row of trees nearby, and scrambled to the top like it was nothing. Him and Steve continued hobbling away from them and the bigger creature seemed less concerned with their presence now. She still snorted and stomped her paws occasionally, but overall she seemed more relaxed and even paused her bluffing behavior to nibble at some berries nearby. 

They kept moving until the family of bears was no longer in sight. It was obvious Steve was in tremendous pain and they stopped to give him time to rest. The blond collapsed on the dirt in a pile, his broken leg stuck straight out in front of him awkwardly, his ribs heaving. 

“Shit,” Steve ground out, still breathing as if he’d just run a marathon. 

Bucky hovered over him. “Are you in pain?” It was a stupid question since misery was etched in every line of Steve’s handsome face. 

Steve waved his hand at him as if trying to dismiss the idea of him suffering. “I’m fine.”

He gave a humorless laugh. “Riiiight.” 

Steve surprised him when he chuckled. “Sorry. Yeah, Buck. I’m actually in a lot of pain.” He pointed to the backpack. “I’mma need more meds. Or maybe just take the gun out and shoot me.” 

Bucky frowned. “That’s not funny.” 

Nodding, Steve sat up a little straighter. “Sorry.” He panted and wiped at his forehead with arm, smearing dirt on his sweaty skin. “I’ll try to be more upbeat.” 

He poured two tablets onto his palm. “Don’t stress out, Stevie. We’ll just take our time. Like you said, we can camp again tonight if we have to. It’s no big deal.” He wasn’t sure where the serenity he was feeling had come from, but he was glad of it. 

Steve swallowed the pills, washing them down with a big gulp of water. Then he stared at Bucky for a heavy moment. “I’m proud of you,” Steve said softly. 

Bucky’s brows raised. “You are?” 

“Oh yeah. Big time.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you’re taking everything in stride.” 

He shrugged. “Did you think I’d freak out at the first sign of bad luck?” 

“No. But I wouldn’t have blamed you if you got pissed at me for dragging you all the way out here, where I proceeded to break my leg and destroy the only working phone we had in one smooth move.” 

“Pretty sure you didn’t do any of that on purpose.” 

“Still,” Steve watched him with slightly wary eyes. “Not everyone would be as cool as you’ve been.” 

“Well…” Bucky smiled at him, before leaning over and giving Steve a quick peck on the mouth. “Unfortunately, you’re my ride home.” 

Steve laughed. “Very funny.” 

“But I guess I can just wait until you fall asleep so I can steal the keys from your pocket.” 

“That’s not nice,” Steve said with a fake pout. 

“I never said I was nice.” 

Steve grinned and the warmth of his gaze made Bucky’s stomach tremble. “I know. But you didn’t have to.” 

_____

The slope of the path was steeper than he remembered from when they’d descended the day before. He guessed that was how it always was when someone had to retrace their steps uphill. Every couple of steps Steve had to stop and rest, so to say going slow would be the understatement of the year. 

They inched their way upward for hours and hours, sweat rolling off his face and slapping onto the dirt. Every now and again a small breeze would happen by and cool his overheated skin. 

“I remember these,” Steve said as they came upon two trees in the middle of the trail. “I think we’re getting close to camp.” Steve sounded excited, hopeful. 

“Thank fuck,” he said, wheezing the words out. They stopped next to the fallen oak and leaned against the rough bark to rest. 

Steve shaded his eyes as he peered ahead. “Let’s see, when we were moving at a normal pace it took us about an hour and a half from our camp to this point.” 

“But we were heading downhill, and you weren’t injured.” 

Steve frowned at him. “Well aren’t you just a little dark rain cloud.” 

“I’m just thinking out loud.” 

Steve exhaled. “Try thinking good thoughts aloud, please. I’m barely hanging on to my sanity by a thread.” 

“It’s going to be okay.” He rubbed Steve’s back, aware of how tense his muscles were under his hand. “Judging from the position of the sun it’s only noon. Even if it took us double the time we’d be back to camp before dark. From there, half an hour to the main road and two hours til we reach a hospital and help.” 

Steve slumped. “Oh, god yes. Pain medication.” 

“You must be in agony by now.” 

Steve squeezed his thigh gently. “I can feel it swelling and it’s hurt like a son of a bitch because I keep knocking it on the ground.” 

“Are you rested enough to keep going?” 

“Yeah.” Steve stood up like a trooper, even though he moved stiffly. “Let’s go.” 

The next two hours were grueling. Steve’s energy was gone after the first hour, and he could barely take one step without having to rest for ten minutes. He looked completely drained but somehow he kept stubbornly inching forward. At one point, Bucky began to recognize the terrain. The trail they were on was wide enough to drive on and an idea formed in his brain. 

“I think… Stevie, if you want to give me the keys I can go ahead and come back for you in the truck.” 

Steve looked up at him, his face shiny with sweat. “Do you know where you are?” Steve asked doubtfully.

He glanced around at the thick oak and bushes that surrounded them. “Uh, not exactly, but I think I can figure it out.” 

Steve frowned. “There’s no way that I’m sending you up ahead if you aren’t positive you won’t get lost.” 

Bucky put his hands on his hips and scowled. “I’m not five. Give me some landmarks to look for and I’ll be fine.” 

Licking his dry lips, Steve shook his head. “No.” 

“Seriously?” He held out his hand for the keys. “ Steven . Give them to me.” 

“ James , no. If anything happened to you--” He closed his eyes, shaking his head. “Bucky, I’d never forgive myself.”

He crouched beside him. “Nothing is going to happen to me. I’m more than capable of following directions.” 

Steve put his fingers to his head. “Yeah, but my brain isn’t at its best. What if I send you in the wrong direction or something?” 

“I’m not blindfolded and I did walk it the first time.” He made an impatient sound. “Give me a little credit, would you?” 

Steve exhaled a shaky breath. “Okay.” He squinted. “I know that if you keep following this line of trees it’ll lead you to a clearing where there’s an old red oak that’s been struck by lightning.” 

Bucky nodded excitedly. “Yeah, I remember that big tree.” 

“Head west, directly past it. I think it should be about ten minutes before that until you come to the camp. If it seems longer, retrace to the big tree and go again. Don’t get lost.” His hand tightened on Bucky’s forearm. There was a pained expression on Steve’s face, his jaw tight. “Bucky. I wouldn’t even be able to help you. So you gotta--”

He leaned in and kissed Steve, and the blond gripped at his shirt with a sense of desperation. They were a mess, dirty and sweaty, but it was one of the best kisses they’d ever shared. When he pulled back, he looked into Steve’s pretty blue eyes. “It’s my turn to help you,” he told Steve firmly. 

A deep line appeared between his brows. “God, please be safe.” 

He snorted. “For goodness’ sake, if I can construct a pc from ground up, I should be able to follow simple verbal directions to the car.” 

Steve frowned. “Um, yeah, sure honey.” 

“It’ll be easy as Pi.” Bucky chuckled. “Get it? It’s a joke.” 

Steve winced, looking at him as if he was a goner. “Please, Buck-- please be careful. Please .”

He straightened and took a deep breath, nodding. “I’ll see you shortly.” He set out with long strides, covering as much ground as possible. The sooner he got to the car, the sooner he could pick Steve up and get him to a doctor. 

Even though it was spring, it was hot. The sun beat down on his shoulders and head relentlessly but he kept moving. Steve was counting on him and it made him feel strong and proud to be actively doing something to get him home safe. 

After ten minutes he came across the huge, burnt oak Steve had told him about. He’d never been so happy to see a tree in his life. He kissed the trunk and said a prayer of thanks before continuing on quickly. 

When he reached the entrance to their camp, he almost couldn’t believe it. Everything looked exactly the same as when they’d set out on their hike the day before. It felt eerie, and almost like they’d been transported into another realm, but he was so glad to be back. Now he just needed to finish his mission. 

He hurried to the truck, used the clicker to get inside, and with shaking fingers slipped the key into the ignition. The engine roared to life and he started laughing like a maniac. Not a minute later he was tearing off across the grassy area heading straight back the way he’d just come. All he could think about was getting to Steve. 

The trip was a blur, and when he reached the spot where Steve was waiting, he almost cried with relief. Steve was pale as a ghost, but he smiled the second he spotted Bucky. He jumped out of the truck and adjusted the seat all the way back as far as it would go to help Steve’s leg, before scrambling out and grabbing ahold of the blond. He was careful, god he was so careful, as he helped Steve up and carried most of the blond’s weight. He had so much adrenaline coursing through him that nothing even affected him. 

He managed to get Steve into the vehicle, hooking his seatbelt for him as if he was a little kid. He’d be goddamned if out of everything they’d been through, Steve would get even more injured on the way to the hospital. 

Bucky definitely broke some speed limits on the way back toward home, but he figured if a cop stopped them, Steve could probably talk their way out of a ticket. He took Steve straight to the emergency room closest to them, and once they wheeled Steve away it was another two hours before Bucky was able to get any news about his condition. 

He called Sharon while he waited and had just hung up with her when the nurse came to get him. She led him to a room with a curtain that was pulled back and he was greeted by Steve sitting on the edge of the bed with a cast on the lower half of his leg. The doctor was sitting on a stool in front of him talking, and when Steve saw him he beamed. 

“There you are.” Steve’s cheeks were flushed and he definitely looked like someone had given him some happy pills. “I was just telling Doctor Banner how you saved my life.” 

Heat flooded Bucky’s face. “No. He has that wrong,” he told the doctor. 

The doctor smiled and stood. He was middle aged with a nice, gentle hum of a voice. “I heard you two had quite the adventure.” 

“I don’t think I’ll be in a huge hurry to go camping anytime soon.” He met Steve’s glazed gaze. “No offense, Stevie.” 

Steve just grinned happily. “No camping, no paintball. Just lots of bed rest.” His boyfriend winked-- literally winked-- and Bucky’s eyes went wide as the blush flamed on his cheek. 

“What’s he on?” 

“Oxycodone,” the doctor’s lips twitched. “Which he seems to be enjoying. Now I assume you’re his ride home?” 

“I am.” 

He held out his arm for Steve and the blond stood and latched on. “Thanks, doc,” Steve said. The good doctor nodded and wished them well before leaving through the curtain. Steve gestured to a crutch propped near the bed. “The one you made is way better than that thing.” 

Bucky smiled. “That’s so sweet of you to say, but I think you should bring that one with us just in case sanity returns.” 

Steve grabbed the crutch and hopped alongside Bucky slowly. “I broke my tibia.” He sounded awfully cheerful considering he had a broken bone. 

“Ouch.” 

The blond sighed. “Yeah. What a crazy trip, huh?” 

They headed slowly through the swishing automatic doors to the truck. Steve seemed more nimble with the crutches provided by the hospital. “I was in such a hurry to get you to a doctor that I left the tent behind.”

Steve shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I can ask one of the guys to go get that stuff.” 

Bucky frowned. “I can do it.” He started up the truck and backed out of the parking spot carefully. 

Steve squinted at him. “Rollins hikes up there all the time. So does Brock. Let one of them do it.” 

He stuffed down his irritation that Brock would probably use dropping those things off as an excuse to hang out with Steve.  But he refused to be that guy. 

Bucky bit into his cheek, nodding his chin. “If you say so.” 

“You do realize it’s not an honor, right?” Steve laughed, resting his head against the back of the seat. He exhaled roughly. “God, I can’t believe we’re actually safe. I’m not hallucinating this, am I?” He forgot all about Brock when Steve squeezed his hand. 

Bucky smiled. “Twenty minutes and you’ll be home with Joey and Sharon.”

Steve turned his head to look at him. There was something in his eyes that threatened to steal Bucky’s breath away. “I’d say we made a good team.” Then he grimaced. “Not counting the part where I fucked up the entire trip of course.” 

For the first time since they’d left the mountains, he let himself relax. “We did it. We made it out.” 

“Y’know you’re a lot tougher than I gave you credit for,” Steve spoke quietly, his gaze warm. Bucky felt almost lightheaded at the appraisal. “I learned alot about you out there. And you, me. I’ve never thought you were a wimp or anything, but I just thought you’d be more upset by all the things that went wrong. But you didn’t. You just kept a positive attitude and helped me stay strong.” Steve was slurring slightly, possibly from the medication. 

“Freaking out wouldn’t have helped anything.” 

“True enough,” Steve sighed, and then glanced at his leg. “But the real question is how am I going to fuck you if I have to wear this damn cast for six weeks?” 

Bucky laughed at the sudden change of subject. “Is that what you’re thinking about right now?” 

Steve’s jaw ticked. His gaze sharpened. “I’m always thinking that. When you’re with me. When you’re not. Always wanna fuck you, baby.” 

At the rate he was going, the blush on his cheeks was eventually gonna burst and seep through his skin. It never failed that when Steve’s words got more frisky, Bucky felt his pulse skyrocket. The lust that ripped through him made him almost double over the steering wheel. “God,” he groaned. “Don’t you dare get me all turned on right before we get to your house.” He adjusted in the seat. “It will ruin my hero image if the first thing Sharon notices when I get out of this truck is my hard on.” 

“She should be so lucky,” Steve mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

“What? That doesn’t even make any sense.” 

“I’m high as a kite right now.” Steve snorted a laugh. “It feels fucking amazing.” 

Not long after, Bucky pulled into his driveway and Sharon came out of the front door looking nervous. She was holding Joey’s hand and they approached the truck swiftly. He did his best to help Steve from the vehicle and it was only a second later that Sharon grabbed him in a huge hug. 

“Oh my god,” she sniffed back tears. “I told you to be careful.” She let go of him and stared worriedly at the cast. 

“Daddy,” Joey crowed, climbing into Steve’s outstretched arms. “You godda ouchie?” 

A lump formed in Bucky’s throat watching Steve and his son. Steve was holding Joey like he never wanted to let him go. 

“Oh, I’m fine,” Steve said, smiling at Bucky over Joey’s shoulder. “Bucky saved me.” 

“No,” he flushed. 

“He keeps saying that but it was a team effort,” Steve interjected. 

Sharon moved and surprised him with a warm embrace. “Thank you, Bucky.” 

“Oh, yeah, well…” he stumbled over his words. He remembered suddenly that he’d tucked a pinecone away in the backpack for Joey. “Wait here a minute.” He rushed to the truck and dug in the bag until his hand hit the rough husk. He returned and went straight for the little guy. “Your dad brought you this.” 

Joey’s eyes got huge and he grabbed at it eagerly. “A piiiiinnne coooone.” His brown eyes looked at it as if it was the most magical thing on the entire planet. 

Steve looked at him in surprise. “You remembered to grab that?” 

Bucky shrugged. “You were a little distracted so I figured you’d forget.” He sighed and patted Joey’s head. “But I wasn’t able to get you a lizard. Sorry, kid.” 

Joey nodded solemnly. “Iths okay. Aunt Sharon told me they got samni-nilna germs all over dem.” 

Steve was watching him intently. He looked exhausted and Bucky decided he should probably get going and let him rest. “Well… I should, uh, I’m going to take off now.” 

Sharon looked surprised and reached over to squeeze his arm. “You sure you won’t stay for dinner?”

Joey clapped his hands together. “We gonna have pasketti,” he said happily. “Im’a put sauce on da noddles.” 

He laughed and bumped Joey’s chubby chin. “I think your dad’s had enough of me for now.” He avoided Steve’s gaze. 

Steve made an impatient sound. “That’s not true.” 

When he looked up, Steve had a deep line between his tired eyes. “I should go home and shower. I probably smell like a skunk,” he said.

Joey giggled and chewed on his little fingers. “Pee you.” 

Steve turned to Sharon. “Do you mind if I have a minute with Bucky?” 

She shook her head and scooped Joey up into her arms. “No problem. You should stay for dinner, Bucky,” She threw over her shoulder as she started for the house. “I insist.” 

“Why are you running away?” Steve asked once they were out of earshot. There was annoyance in the man’s voice. 

“I’m not.” 

“Then don’t go,” Steve urged. “You can shower here. I know you like your space and everything but I really need you tonight.” 

He glanced at Steve’s cast. “Oh, I thought Sharon would help you.” 

Steve rolled his eyes. “I don’t mean I need you as my nurse. I want to be with you tonight without worrying about bears or dying of exposure.” 

Excitement shot through him at the realization that Steve still wanted him near. But still… “Are you sure? I don’t want to interrupt your time with Joey and Sharon. I’m sure they’ve missed you.” 

Scowling, Steve hobbled closer, his warm breath wafting across Bucky’s cheek. Steve had dark circles under his eyes, but he wore a smile on his face. “It’s a good thing I’m feeling my drugs, because it gives me the courage to say to you what I’ve been trying to say the last few days.” 

 “What?” he asked breathlessly. 

Large, strong hands grabbed at Bucky and pulled him close. They were flush together, breathing the same air, existing in the same place. “I love you,” Steve told him, holding him as if he thought Bucky would flee. 

Little did Steve know that Bucky wasn’t going anywhere. Not anytime soon. Not after Steve just said those words. Blood rushed through him, his joy unchartable. 

“You do?” he grabbed at Steve’s face, cupping that powerful jaw between his hands. “You don’t have to say it just because we’re outta the woods alive.” 

Steve’s intense gaze fastened on Bucky’s lips. “I know that, sweetheart.” 

Bucky suddenly felt lighthearted and happy. “Are you sure this isn’t just hero worshipping?”

Grinning, Steve kissed him at the temple. “I’m pretty sure this isn’t that. Now, aren’t you gonna give me something?” 

Bucky kissed him then, so caught up in the moment. But then he pulled back with a playful grin on his lips. “Oh, sorry babe, were you wanting a pinecone, too?” 

“God damn it,” he growled, but he was smiling. “Tell me how you feel, Buck. Use your words.” 

He swallowed, sobering up a little. “I’ve, uh, never been so scared… that I would lose someone as I’ve been the last two days. It’s made me realize how much you mean to me.” He stroked Steve’s bearded cheek. “I wake up thinking about you, and go to bed wanting to be near you.” 

Steve nodded his head, a slow smile stretching across his face. “That’s more like it,” he murmured, looking pleased. 

“I can see a future with you,” Bucky continued quietly. His heart was hammering like a drum in his chest. He watched Steve’s face carefully for any sign of rejection, but Steve’s gaze was trained on him, serious and unblinking. At Steve’s silence, Bucky went on. “I never thought about the future before because it was a lonely thing. But not now. I feel so much hope that it scares me.”

The blond kissed him, slipping his tongue between Bucky’s lips and taking his mouth roughly. Bucky whimpered and pressed closer, running his hands over Steve’s meaty shoulders. Neither of them wanted to pull away, but the need for air became too great. They were both breathless, panting, and Steve laughed. “God. It takes a lot to get anything emotional out of you, but when you finally decide to share, it’s the good stuff.” 

Bucky made a face, grimacing. “What I can’t understand is why you’re into me. It just doesn’t add up.” 

“Opposites attract, sweetheart,” Steve offered. 

Bucky straightened up. “Actually, most research shows people gravitate to others with similar personality traits. The theory that opposites attract just isn’t true.” He breathed in against Steve. “Although despite personality correlations there has to be one study that shows people want lovers with opposite traits--” 

“Honey, stop.” 

“What? I’m just saying that it makes no sense for you to like me--” 

Steve grinned. “I know exactly what you’re saying, and that’s why I’m saying stop.” 

“But--” 

“Shhhhhh.” Steve put his finger over Bucky’s lips. “Hush.” 

He couldn’t help but smile. “I guess I’ll just put it down to a happy anomaly.” 

“Yes. A wonderful glitch.” 

They began slowly making our way toward the house. “That would actually be a great name for a dog.” 

“Glitch?” 

Bucky nodded. “Either that or Brock.” 

Steve’s lips twitched. “Oh, you’re bad.” 

“I plan on being very, very bad after Joey goes to bed,” he grinned. “After all I never got that tent sex you were making such a big deal about.”

“We can build a blanket fort later tonight. But you’ll have to work around my cast.” 

“Easy peasy. The only reason we’d have a problem is if something else was in a cast. I’m so thankful you landed on your back when you fell and not your dick.” 

He helped Steve hop slowly up the porch steps. The blond was laughing hard, so it slowed him down even more. “God, stop. Did you have to start your comedy show the minute we got to the stairs? I can’t breathe.” 

“Well you said you love me, so I decided to break out my best material.” They’d reached the landing and Steve was panting as he put his arm around Bucky’s neck. When they reached for the door, Steve was stopping them both. “I really do, you know.” 

“What?” 

“Love you.” Steve cleared his throat. “And it’s not the drugs. I’ve known it for a while.” 

He swallowed and stared into Steve’s bright blue eyes. “I…uh…I love you too.” 

Steve’s eyes bugged out a bit. “Holy shit. You said it.” He looked around like he was hoping he could find a witness. “You said it out loud.” 

Bucky’s cheeks were warm. “Don’t make me regret it.” 

“I’ll spend the rest of my goddamn life making you not regret it. It happened and that’s enough for me.” 

They opened the screen door with a loud squeak and found Joey standing there holding his pinecone. “Bucky, you comed home finally.” He jumped around in a clumsy circle almost falling over. “I thaud you’d never make it.” 

He met Steve’s affectionate gaze and swallowed against the lump in his throat. “That makes two of us, buddy. But I did.” 

Notes:

Second half will be up next week.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Siren Lights (Red, White, & Blue)