Chapter Text
Jamsil — — 2025
“What do you think?”
Haeun walked behind Taeyong as he led her around a cozy two-story house. It was beautiful, with a cute backyard, large windows, and natural light flooding every corner. All the rooms were empty, the previous owners had just moved out a few days earlier when Taeyong invited her to look around.
He had mentioned looking for another place since his lease was ending but she had assumed he’d pick a modest apartment close to work but he had picked a bigger place that was much further away. Maybe he was getting roommates that worked nearby because it was way too big for him to live in by himself.
“It’s beautiful.” She commented, stepping into the large master bedroom. It was huge, her jaw dropped as she paced across the room and peeked into the closet. A gasp escaped her mouth. She should probably set up a bed in the closet and call it a room if she wanted. “This place is amazing.”
He stepped in behind her, pressing his chest into her back, “Yeah? So, you like it?”
“Of course. I’m surprised you even found this place.” She mentioned, “Even the bathrooms are gorgeous and I didn’t even think that was possible.”
He laughed, “Trust me, it took a lot of research and few realtors to find it. There’s enough room for two offices and the fireplace in the living room is fully functional too.”
“Wait, why would you convert those rooms into offices? Wouldn't it make more sense to make them bedrooms.” She said.
He furrowed his brows, following her as she moved to the hallway, “Why would we need two bedrooms? Are we sleeping in separate rooms, now?”
Haeun paused before turning to look at him with wide eyes, “What?”
“Baby, did you think I was getting this place so that I can open up the NCT Frat Alumni Edition? I brought you here because I wanted your approval.” He said with a slow smile.
She laughed and hugged him, “You’re right, I’m going to be staying here all the time once you move in, I deserve a say.”
“No. Baby. I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying. I don’t want you to stay over here. I want you to live here. With me. If that's something you want.” He said softly.
She jerked back, her eyes wide as she stared up at him, “You want me to move in?”
“Yeah, in fact, I’ve wanted you to move in for ages but my old apartment wasn’t nice enough, I waited out the lease first. I want us to live together, I want to see you in the morning and have you at night without having to plan it out in advance. The house is in the middle of both of our jobs so I know it’s not as close as your place but I was hoping you’d still be okay here.” He said, running his fingers through her hair lovingly.
“I love it.” She whispered.
He grinned, relieved, and pressed a kiss against her cheek before peppering some all over her face, “This is going to be home for us, soon.”
Seoul — — 2026
Jaehyun could only watch Taeyong and Haeun together from across the room.
He and Nayoon were throwing a housewarming party for the new house they had moved into and even though there were a lot of people milling around, his eyes were only on them.
“Mimosa?”
He turned to see Nayoon holding up two glasses with a smile. He took one out of her hand and kissed her before sliding it around her shoulder. “Thanks, little bird.”
“What are you looking at?” She asked.
“Them.”
Nayoon followed his nod to see Taeyong and Haeun huddled together in the corner, ignoring all the other guests, just consumed with each other. Taeyong was leaned close to her, mumbling in her ear, making her laugh before lacing his fingers with hers. He was smiling at her, just as enamoured with her laugh as he was the first time Jaehyun had seen them together as a couple.
“What about them?” Nayoon asked.
He sighed, “Six years ago, I would've been over the moon if they were that lovesick with each other. But they’ve been dating for years, they’re completely happy and in love. More in love than I’ve ever seen but now what?”
“Now you wait.”
Nayoon and Jaehyun flinched, turning to see the shaman standing behind them holding onto a cookie. Her long silver hair was braided tightly and her ancient robes had been traded in for a flowy linen dress, “I didn’t invite you.”
“Don’t be so rude, Your Highness.” She mumbled.
He winced, “Sorry, that’s not what I meant. I’m just surprised. What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to check on the guard. It’s hard to keep away. I want to see how the couple is holding up.” She mused.
Jaehyun stared at her for a long minute, “Can I ask you something?”
“That’s what I’m here for, your Majesty.”
“How do we know if they’ve truly changed their path? If they’ll end up together in their future lives?” He asked.
She quirked a brow, “An act of selfless love.”
“What does that even mean?” Nayoon grumbled.
She smiled and glanced at her, “It’s like when the Prince gave up a life with you to protect your career. Or when he stayed unwed to be loyal to your love. If an act of selfless love is committed, the God of Love will allow their love and your love to last eternity. All their real memories, including Taeyong's early death with return and lock into place permanently.”
Nayoon’s face softened as she reached out to hold Jaehyun’s hand. He squeezed back with a loving smile. She turned to the shaman, “So, can anyone be reincarnated? I know a lot of Taeyong and Haeun’s friends came back, even some other people who existed in the Joseon Dynasty came back. Does that mean everyone in the world has been reincarnated and can remember their past lives?”
“No, it’s not a luxury that everyone is afforded.” She replied.
Jaehyun frowned, “So why us? Why do we all come back every time as ourselves? What makes us special?”
“I don’t have that answer. I am not the God of Life. I don’t make that decision.” She said calmly.
Nayoon hadn’t yet given up, “Is it because they’re soulmates?”
“Soulmates aren’t real, dear. It what we tell ourselves when we witness a beautiful, everlasting love story but that’s all it is. A name we give couples who are meant to be. The Gods don't believe in such colloquialisms, so it certainly isn't why the God of Life would’ve granted them the power of reincarnation.”
“You must’ve prayed to the Gods before.” Jaehyun said accusingly.
“I prayed to the Gods of Life and Death to save and guide the soul of the guard who would inevitably die."
Nayoon looked hard-pressed, "But how else would you have known that he'd die over and over again? Why give him a charm that protects him for 100 lives if you didn't know he'd have 100 lives?"
"I told you, I am not the God of Life, I can't control the universe. My talisman was preventative. It's purpose was to protect Taeyong if he was reincarnated. All I knew was that death was coming for him. My philosophy is to assume that everyone gets reborn, that's why I charmed him, that's why I watch over everyone because you never know who will last one lifetime and who will last an eternity of lifetimes. I had no way of knowing if he or Haeun would actually be reincarnated. I just knew that if he was to be granted reincarnation by the Gods, he'd spend eternity dying too soon. I didn't want that for him."
Jaehyun frowned, "So, we have no idea why we've been reincarnated?"
"I can promise you, I am not the one who prayed for this. Someone else must’ve.”
Seoul — — 2027
The seven year itch.
That’s what it’s called.
It sounds more like a curse. If you were the type to believe in curses.
The origin of the phrase was a Marilyn Monroe film, the iconic one, you know it even if you think you don’t. It’s the one with the white dress, the gust of air from the subways grate, the modest attempt of holding her fluttering dress down. The whole shebang.
The idea is that if you’re married to someone for 7 years, it’s the sweet spot for people to start getting bored, stagnant and unhappy in their relationships. They had friends of friends who got a divorce after seven years, they had coworkers break up after 7 years.
They weren’t even dating for seven years, but maybe it was just symbolic, the fact that they knew each other for seven years was enough.
It wasn’t anything thoroughly heartbreaking or devastating.
He wasn’t cheating, she wasn’t bored. He wasn’t under-appreciated, she wasn’t ignored.
They just felt off-sync.
The days he wanted to come home from work and go on a spontaneous date out with her, she’d be too tired or needed to wake up early the next morning.
The nights where she was found herself missing him and needing his hands on her skin, his breath on her neck, he’d be spending the night at the lab to monitor an experiment.
After a while, it felt like they just stopped trying. Stopped trying to make their lives work for the other person because their schedules were too demanding. He stopped asking her on dates, she stopped trying to convince him to stay in bed longer. It was easier to stop asking when you knew the answer would be a guilt-ridden 'no, maybe next time'.
Soon, they were just coexisting, kissing each other goodbye and going off on their own days, hoping that their orbits would finally cross if they just waited long enough.
Haeun didn’t think much of it, figured that it was just a long stretch of bad timing and eventually things would fall in place. She was busy with work after a couple of successive promotions that came with increased duties. He was just as slammed having taken on a new research project and sometimes it felt like there wasn’t room in their lives for anything else. It was okay, they’d work it out with time. She was sure.
Until she had casually let the state of her relationship slip to some girls at work.
The grave look on their faces was enough for her palms to get sweaty, “What is it?”
“It’s just…that’s what happened to my sister and her boyfriend. They broke up a month after because it just got worse.”
Haeun blinked before laughing incredulously, the mere idea sounding absurd, “Taeyong and I aren’t going to break up.”
“Of course not, but honestly that’s what I thought when me and my ex started having the same problems. We broke up after too.” Another girl piped up. “We cared a lot about work and less about each other. Soon we just forgot why we even loved each other in the first place. The feelings faded which was why it was so easy to let our distance grow without trying to do anything to fix it.”
Now that made her uneasy.
“It’s just off-timing. Everyone has rough patches.” Haeun said nervously.
Her assistant rocked on her heels, “Yeah, you’re probably right. It’s just…if you guys can’t even make time for each other because of work, what are you going to do when you get married or have kids? I know you love your job but it shouldn’t be that hard to spend time together.”
"I mean, we do spend time together. We live together for crying out loud." Haeun said in exasperation.
“Just because you live together doesn’t mean that you don’t have to make an effort to spend time together.”
Haeun was stunned, “I didn’t think it was this serious. I figured we just needed time for things to slow down. That it would work itself out.”
“If he only sees you in the morning and at night, you’re not a couple, you’re roommates who share a bed. You don’t want him to start to forget he has a girlfriend when he’s working late nights with some cute science-y girl who has a secret crush on him.” An intern said off-handedly.
“What?” Haeun breathed out, with wide eyes. Her heart dropped to her feet.
Her assistant smacked her folder at the intern with a stern look. Haeun felt her heart race, “He’d never cheat on me. He loves me.”
“Of course. I-I didn’t mean it like that. I’m so sorry.”
Haeun shut her eyes, trying to resist the urge to cry. She loved Taeyong so much to the point where sometimes she couldn't begin to describe the feeling he'd give her. Words lacked the depth she felt.
Even if they weren’t on the same page lately, her heart still felt full when she’d wake up with his breath against her neck and his arm against her body. There was nowhere else she'd rather be than with him.
She didn’t know what she’d do if he left her.
Or if someone else got to have him the way she did.
But he would never cheat. She knew him. She trusted him.
That didn't mean that her insecurities weren't being poked and unravelled.
“Excuse me?”
Haeun opened her eyes to see an older woman standing by her door, wispy silver hair tied up in a neat braid and a long draped skirt flowing around her. Her assistant gasped and glanced at her watch, “Oh gosh, that’s your 2 o’clock appointment.”
Haeun quickly waved all the girls off, dismissing them. While they scurried off, she stood, smoothing her blazer down and willing the red heat that probably splashed across her face from fighting tears would evaporate. She quickly grabbed a ribbon and tied her hair up and out of her face.
“So sorry.” Haeun said with an embarrassed laugh before holding her hand out.
The woman returned the gesture, her skin weathered with age but warm. “No problem. Is now a good time? Should I come back?”
“Oh of course not, please, take a seat.” Haeun said, guiding her to the chair across from her desk. “So, you sent in a proposal to host a special exhibit at our museum for February, correct? I skimmed over it, there weren’t many details listed in it, but I was curious and wanted to meet to discuss it further. You mentioned wanting to host through February because of Valentine’s Day.”
The woman pulled a thick file out of her bag and handed it to Haeun, “Yes, the entire exhibit is based on different artifacts found and the stories attached to the pieces, all of which involve various stories about love and romance.”
Haeun flipped through the file, her eyes excitedly drinking in the details that the proposal didn’t include, “And all these pieces fall within in the Joseon Era, you mentioned?”
“Yes. They fall within the Jung Regime.”
Haeun nodded with a hum as she continued to read through the file, “It’s very difficult to trace back such detailed narratives of specific lives that far back. How did you manage to do it?”
“You can find everything with a little research. The amount of work I did, it feels like I’ve lived through it myself.”
Haeun lifted her head and met eyes with the woman who just smiled pleasantly at her. There was something so unnerving about her stare, where most people would look away, she just maintained eye contact.
Haeun cleared her throat and looked back at the file, flipping to a new page. “What’s this?”
“Ah, it’s an unworn robe buried with King Yoon Oh when he eventually passed away at the end of his reign.”
Haeun blinked at the description, “I’m sorry, the abstract is claiming that this is the last robe that his robe maker had ever made for him. His robe maker that he had apparently been in love with? This entire piece claims that while he was Prince he had an affair with her and she was banished from his Kingdom when the affair was discovered. This…This is quite the claim. What do you have to support this? King Yoon Oh had been famously single, even in his days as the Crown Prince.”
“It’s on the next page.” The woman replied.
Haeun flipped it, her eyes wide as she stared at scans of ancient scrolls detailing the exact story, including his love for the robe maker. This had to be the King’s personal journals.
“How on earth did you find these?” She gaped. “And in such good condition?”
The woman had that smile on her face again, “A solo expedition. As you can see, he stated that he wanted to be buried with the robes.”
Haeun was stunned at the vagueness in her response. Most historians would be boasting about such abundant finds that essentially uncovered a previously unknown piece of history.
“This is amazing. Will his robes be the centre piece of the exhibit?” Haeun asked.
“No.”
Haeun raised her brows, “Really? I think it would be perfect. We could display the robes in the center since the entire exhibit is under his and his family’s reign. It would tie everything together.”
“There’s something I find more fitting. It’s on the last page.” She explained.
Haeun was a bit hesitant and considered pushing the woman on using the robes before looking back at the file and flipping to the end. Her eyes widened at the familiar picture, her heart thudding excitedly.
“Oh my god.” She whispered, pulling the photo out of the plastic sheet cover so that she could get a closer look.
For the first time since she sat down, the woman looked taken aback at her reaction, “D-Do you recognize that?”
Haeun went to her computer and clicked through folders dating back a few years before turning the screen to the woman, “I’ve been obsessed with this necklace for years. I tried searching everywhere for its origin but I couldn’t find it anywhere.”
“Ah.” The woman said with an understanding nod. She looked at the picture Haeun was holding in her hand, the same one on her computer of a long chain with a wooden sunflower pendant.
Haeun picked up the file and greedily read the origin, “There’s not much here.”
“It’s a beautiful story, really.” The woman started, “It’s of a young woman who had fallen in love with the Crown Prince’s guard. They met when she was visiting the palace to deliver baked goods to the King. He had called her sunflower, as a nickname, as it was her favourite flower. She had returned from a trip and brought him that chain as a gift. Everyone in town knew of their love, even the King and Queen at the time had approved of their relationship. It was said that King Yoon Oh had demanded that their wedding be held at the palace. There are stories of the guard taking her on trips around the country and bringing her gifts whenever she couldn’t come with him.”
Haeun’s lips parted, not just from the story but the warmth that pooled in the woman’s eyes. Subconsciously, her hand drifted to the delicate gold sunflower pendant that was currently sitting in between her collarbones. “Then what happened?”
“They married, they were happy, but the guard had died much too young, protecting the King and palace from a rebel raid, he wore that necklace every day, even on the day he died. Because of him, the King was saved and the rebels were captured. It was said that the King mourned for 60 days and that the guard’s wife had vanished from the town, leaving everything behind. No one had seen her since. There were rumours that she had walked into the ocean, others believed that the King had helped her leave the country, some even thought the God of Love had visited her and turned her into a sunflower. But no one knew for sure.” She said.
The woman pulled her gaze from the picture and smiled sympathetically at Haeun, “Why are you crying, dear?”
Haeun flinched before reaching up to touch her cheek, feeling the tears, “Oh my. Ha, I’m sorry I guess I got a little emotional. That’s a beautiful story. I didn’t realize that necklace was had such a history behind it.”
“Every love leaves history behind.” The woman said softly, “In the modern age, we let so much slip through our hands. We’re so gluttonous on instant gratification that we forgot what it’s like to fight for something. We tell ourselves that love is whimsical, unrealistic, not as important, but we’re wrong. Love reminds us of our humanity, of something pure and worth dying and sacrificing to protect.”
Haeun chewed on her lip, shrinking as if she was being personally scolded, “Sometimes work can get in the way. We do live in a capitalist society.”
The woman chuckled, “This man dedicated his life to protect the Crown Prince and later the King. He was so devoted to his duty that he died for it. Yet he still loved and fought for his love. If he could, why can’t we?”
-----
Haeun nearly tripped out of the cab before running towards Taeyong’s lab.
After finalizing the exhibit and running over the paperwork, Haeun spent her afternoon staring at the picture of the sunflower pendant with chipped paint and a small hairline crack on one of the petals.
There were people who had less but fought for more.
That was who she wanted to be. That’s what she wanted.
She wouldn't just wait for time to sort itself out. She knew what she wanted and she was going to get it.
She left work early and sent him a hasty, poorly typo-ed text asking him to meet her outside his building and she could see him leaning against a tree, staring at his feet, kicking at the base of the trunk until the sound of her heels had him lifting his head.
His eyes widened when he saw her running and quickly started walking to her. “What’s wron—“
She slammed against him, making him stumble back a few stepped before her fingers went straight into his hair and dragged him down to her mouth.
“I love you.” She whispered before sealing their mouths together.
It took him a second before his hands tucked under her blazer and pulled her against him to kiss her back. It was like he understood that this wasn’t just a sweet 'I miss you' or 'how was your day'? kiss. That there was so much pent up emotion, fear, and insecurity built into a single gesture.
For the first time in a while, they were finally in-sync.
His tongue laved pleadingly against her mouth before she parted her lips, welcoming him. She could hear his breathing, erratic, laboured and it just urged her to dig her fingers deeper into his hair until he moaned against her. There was desperation they were chasing, one made up of all the dates, quality-time, and sexy nights that they had reluctantly turned down in the past. One kiss may not make up for all of it but it sure as hell was a start.
It reminded them of what was important.
Tears pricked under her lashes as the familiar feeling of love and yearning bloomed through her. The feeling of just how head over fucking heels she was for this man that sometimes she couldn’t even look him in the eye for long. She forgot that this was how she felt. She forgot that this feeling had been pushed off to the side for too long.
And she wanted it back.
“Baby.” He rasped against her open mouth, “Baby, I love you. I love you so goddamn much but we’re on the sidewalk.”
“Home.” She panted, her eyes silently pleading to him that for once, they put work second.
He gulped and softly brushed his lips down the bridge of her nose, “Home.”
Her breath caught at his acceptance and pulled back enough to move her hand from the depth of his hair to between his fingers. He brought their hands up to his lips, kissing the back of hers while watching her.
The look in his eyes confirmed everything; the fact that she wasn’t alone in noticing the distance that she had been feeling with him. Feeling off beat with each other. He noticed it too and he probably had the same conversation she had with her coworkers with his own. But finally, that distance had closed and the timing clicked.
All they had to do was stop waiting for it to happen on its own.
“We’re going to be okay.” He whispered against her hand.
She wanted to cry, “Never doubted it.”
He pulled her across the street. They were halfway through the intersection when the sound of tires screeching grabbed their attention.
A car had taken a sharp turn, not seeing that the pedestrians were crossing.
It was a split-second decision. Him or her. She didn’t even hesitate, she just used all her strength to shove Taeyong out of the way and had barely enough time to close her eyes as the car sent her flying over its roof.
Selfless love is never an act of self-preservation.
It was a blessing to not be awake to hear the love of your life screaming in agony.
Joseon Dynasty — — 1889 - 1899
“It suits you.” He blurted out when she reached up to tie it into her hair.
Haeun eyes widened as she gaped at him and the barely noticeable blush dusting over his nose, “W-What?”
“The sunflowers. It suits you.”
-----
“I am not interested in a suitor, my parents are, but not me. And I am certainly not interested in a fellow like from earlier. I am interested in living my dreams, reaching my goals, and if, in the process, I find a man who loves and accepts me for all my flaws and perfections, then so be it.” She mumbled.
He smiled and nodded as he took a bite of the bread she set out in front of him, “Good to keep in mind.”
"What about you?" She asked carefully. "Are you planning on finding a bride soon? Is that common for royal guards?"
His eyes were searing holes in her head, "It is common, typically it is recommended to do so prior to a Prince becoming King as my responsibilities will increase significantly by then. I, too, am not actively seeking out a suitable partner, but should a woman who steals my breath and challenges my mind comes along, I would welcome her into my heart with open arms."
She hummed while sipping on a cup of tea, her eyes sparkling with the type of mischievousness that he wanted to be a part of, "Perhaps this lunar year will bring much luck to the both of us in finding what we need."
-----
“You know what I heard?” She whispered before tilting her head up to the sky, “That one of the most beautiful things about the sky is that no matter where on this earth that you are if you look up, we’re all seeing the same thing. We’re all connected.”
He followed her gaze up and smiled, “Then every night that you are gone, I will look up at the sky, at the moon, and imagine you doing the same.”
-----
“Don’t do such awful things to my heart.” He teased, dragging his palms down her arms before holding her hands. “I want to hear about everything.”
She pulled her hands away and touched his cheek, slowly sliding her hand down his chest, “Don’t you want to see what I’ve brought you?”
He raised his brow, everything inside him trembling from her touch to her smile to the glow that seemed bright on her skin. He wanted to stay up all night talking to her and watching her shine, “What have you brought me?”
Haeun untied the pouch against her hip and pulled out a chain, one long enough that it could be hidden under his robes. His eyes followed it down to the pendant and felt his heart soar.
A sunflower.
-----
He smoothed his palm over the back of her head, a gentle caress. “I’ll always find you, sunflower.”
“Can you kiss me on the head again?” She slurred.
A stunned laughed escaped him before he acquiesced. He got up out of his seat and leaned over her before pressing his lips tenderly against her forehead.
She sighed, satisfied before closing her eyes, “I love you, Yong.”
-----
“My soul rests easy with you, Taeyong.” She said, pushing up on her toes.
His eyes fluttered as he tilted his head and let his lips hover over hers, “I love you, sunflower.”
“I love you, darling.” She mumbled before kissing him.
-----
He pulled back and stared at her in the eye, “I want to do all of that with you, not imagine it, but do it. I promise one day, I will come with you. I’ll bring you on a ship, I’ll lead us by horse, I will drive our cart. I promise I will give you everything you desire.”
“Just stay next to me,” she whispered, “and I’ll always be happy.”
-----
“I hope Haeun makes a calmer man of you.” Jaehyun grumbled.
Taeyong blinked at him, surprised, and Jaehyun just smiled, the first one he had seen in a long time, “You didn’t really think I didn’t know you two were finally an item? I have known you my whole life, I noticed that you're happier than you’ve ever been.”
-----
“Will you promise to be safe?” She asked quietly.
He ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her close to kiss her on the forehead, “I promise, sunflower.”
“And think about me every night?” She asked with a pout.
If she asked for a country, he would gift her one.
He kissed her pout away, “That is not a question. I think about you even when I’m not supposed to.”
“Will you look at the moon?” She murmured, her worries easing away.
He hummed, brushing his lips against her jaw, “Every night.”
-----
“Well, no one is allowed to make you feel less than what you are.” He whispered before kissing her, “You may have worries filling your head, but my commitment and love to you need not be one. I promise.”
-----
Taeyong leaned forward and kissed the space, “I’m fine, my pretty sunflower.”
“I know.” She whispered, “Did these hurt?”
He gulped and nodded, “At first, yes. But then the universe gave me you to make up for the pain.”
“Sweet-talker.” She grumbled before leaning up to kiss his chest as if to soothe the lingering pain that might be hidden in his body.
-----
He stared up at the moon, his vision blurring, as the pain slowly consumed his body.
Let’s meet in our next life, sunflower.
Then everything turned black.
-----
“Taeyong…”
He cupped her cheeks and leaned close enough to nudge her nose with his, “You are everything to me, sunflower. I will be with you until the end of time, every lifetime, every universe, every galaxy you will always have me.”
Seoul National University Hospital — — 2027
He couldn’t remember any of the faces who had spoken to him, even if they were his friends.
He just sat in the hospital waiting room trembling as tears poured out of his eyes endlessly. Every time he closed his eyes he can feel her hands on him, pushing him out of the way and the way her body was thrown like a pillow or the sickening image of blood pooling around her.
She had been in surgery for hours, no one would tell them how it was going. What her chances are. Or how much longer she’d be. Her parents were on a flight from their vacation and someone had stopped by to give him a set of her and his clothes.
It was just ear-splitting silence from the moment the paramedics rushed to carry her off, to the doctors ushering him out of the way so that they could tend to her. He kept replaying it over and over in his head. It was half a second. He couldn’t blink, fully exhale or complete an entire thought in the time that it took for Haeun to push him out of the way.
If something happens to her, he wasn’t sure he’d ever forgive himself.
“Taeyong?”
He shot up when a doctor came up to him, pulling her mask down to address him, “Yes?”
“Haeun’s recovering now, you can come and see her.”
-----
The first thing Haeun heard when she opened her eyes was a strange combination of beeping and sniffling. She blinked and groaned when her head throbbed with sharp pain.
“B-Baby? Baby. Jesus. Thank god.”
Haeun turned her head slightly to see Taeyong leaning over her, tears and worry filling his eyes.
“What’s happening? Where am I?” She croaked.
He grabbed a cup of water and carefully tilted it up to her lips, “Thanks.”
“You’re at the hospital. Do you remember what happened?” He asked.
She gulped and nodded slightly, “Yeah. A little. There was a car…”
“Yeah, there was. You threw yourself in front of a car, you silly girl.” He breathed, his voice cracking, “What on earth were you thinking?”
She blinked heavily, closing her eyes when he pressed his forehead against hers and rubbed their noses together, “If I told you what I was thinking, I’d make you sad.”
“I’ve already been really, really sad, baby. Don’t think you can break my poor heart anymore.” He mumbled before kissing her cheek.
“I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.” She whispered.
A choked sob escaped his lips as he dropped down next to her bed, pressing his face against the mattress. A weak hand brushed through his head, skimming over his scalp. “Don’t cry.”
“I was so scared.” He wheezed, “I thought—I thought you were—“
In his hand, he held the ribbon that she had tied in her hair earlier. The sunflower print was now soaked in blood and silk was unforgiving. She’d have to throw it out now but he clutched onto it like it was his lifeline.
“Look at me.” She pled.
He lifted his head, his face grief-stricken, her heart squeezing as her fingers twitched, still too weak to touch him. “I’m okay. I’ll always be okay and I would, in a second, do it all over again for you.”
-----
“Babe, you’ve been moving non-stop, you’re making me dizzy.”
Taeyong looked up from the vase of sunflowers he had placed by her bedside, “Sorry.”
She smiled slightly as she watched him. She had been in the hospital for a few days and had been recovering steadily ever since. Moving around was easier, though sometimes she’d get tired a lot easier but Taeyong had always been by her side, being the person for her lean on. He kept her company, taking time off of work to make sure she recovered as smoothly as possible.
As far as silver linings go, being able to spend so much time with him after so long felt nice. Talking to him for hours made her realize just how much they had been missing from each other’s lives even though they lived together.
“C’mere.” She called.
Sometimes, she could see the guilt in his face, the misery when his mind went to the what-ifs to the point where he’d try to busy himself until he was making up things to do just to keep himself moving.
He slipped quickly to her side, holding her hand, pressing a sweet kiss to the back, “How are you feeling?”
“A lot better, Tae. So, please stop worrying yourself.” She asked.
He sighed but made no promises and just brushed her hair back, “The doctor said that you should get some fresh air, how does that sound?”
“Oh, really good. I’ve been cooped up for too long.” She muttered, shifting in her bed.
He smiled, stroking her skin gently, “Alright, your doctor also said that I can only take you out if you take a wheelchair, I know how much you hate them, but it’s either listen to the doc or stay here.”
“Ugh, fine. But let him know that I’m mad about this and I can walk just fine!”
After signing out, he helped her into his car before driving a little out of the city. He pulled over at an empty lot and she looked around curiously as he helped her back in the wheelchair.
“Where are we?”
He smiled and started pushing her up a long winding path, “It’s a surprise.”
“I could’ve walked.” She said indignantly.
He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “I have a weak heart, baby. Just do this for me.”
She huffed but he saw the red blush on her ears as she watched the scenery change as they moved higher and higher up the side of the hill. Her eyes widened when they reached the top where a beautiful tree sat. It had to be thousands of years old by how big it was.
Haeun gasped at the skyline the vantage point gave her, “This is beautiful. How did you find this?”
“Did a little research.” He said proudly.
She tilted her head back to look at him, “Why did you bring us here?”
“Thought my little history nerd would like this.” He teased as he led them to a worn-out bench.
She leaned close to the little bronze plaque embedded in the centre of the bench.
This bench was recovered and restored from the Joseon Dynasty Era
(Est. 1880)
“God, you have to be my soulmate.” She breathed out.
He laughed and helped her out of her wheelchair to sit on the bench together. He held her close, occasionally pressing kisses to her skin.
“I’m grateful you came to my office that day.” Taeyong said softly, “Not because you got in an accident, of course.”
She reached out and ran her fingers down his spine, “Why then?”
“Because I feel like we were in a weird place before. We loved each other, no question. But with work and life, we just fell out of touch with each other. It was driving me insane. I was terrified that something was wrong and I was too scared to bring it up because what if I was right, but when you kissed me, I just—I knew that it was just a rough patch and that we’d be okay.” He explained.
She was beginning to see that bad timing didn’t mean that she and Taeyong were out of sync because moments like this when he says exactly what she had been thinking, reminded her that the opposite was true. That they would always be in harmony with one another. No matter what their schedules were.
“Me too.” She said softly.
He gulped, “The thought that something bad could’ve happened to you before we had that moment has kept me awake for days. Hell, the thought of you dying trying to save me, living with a sacrifice like that, scared me.”
“Oh, baby.” She cooed softly, “I’m sorry. But we’re okay. I’m okay.”
He turned to her, cupping her face, “I know. I just…I love you. I’m so grateful that I transferred to Seoul U on my last year, that I got a chance to meet you, know you, touch you so that when we ran into each other at that restaurant all those years later, we gave it a chance. Us. You have been the best thing to ever happen to me. You make me whole, baby.”
Her lip jutted out as she resisted the urge to cry, “You make me whole too. Mark told me that I was supposed to be on that date with you. When I came home and told him that the date was boring and awkward he was near tears. Yet somehow, that night still ended with you asking me out. I keep telling myself, if I had let my date drive me home, we would’ve missed each other by seconds.”
“You’re right, but I think we would’ve still found our way to each other. It seems like the universe wanted us with each other.” He mused.
She chuckled and leaned her head on his shoulder, “4 years and you’re still confessing your love to me like it’s the first time. Making my heart swoon and shit.”
He laughed loudly and she basked in the sound, “All I’m saying is that in any life I know I’d choose you. No matter what, it’d always be you.”
100 lives.
Countless sacrifices.
Endless hope.
It happened.
But unlike the times before, this was different.
The colours around them changed like a filter had been lifted, everything was more vibrant and bright. Sounds became clearer, the air felt fresher. It was as if all the times before, there was something shading their vision and they could finally see clearly now.
In this life, they were 30 when they finally overcame the universe.
His eyes widened as he stared at her, the sound of his blood rising to his brain filled his ears. “S-Sunflower?"
Tears pooled in her eyes as she sobbed, cathartic, making up for years of repressed sorrow and loss that were never properly mourned.
Because it wasn’t just the memory of their past lives that came back.
It was, for the first time, the memory of her lover’s death and sacrifices that came back too.
He knelt on the ground in front of her and hugged her, his forehead nudging against hers as they cried together. She clawed her fingers into his shoulders, holding onto him as if she feared flaming arrows would hail down on them and a sword would pierce his heart again. He felt her anchor onto him like she was going to fight heaven and hell to make sure she never lost him again.
But he knew that they'd never have to worry about losing each other ever again.
Because the universe was finally right.
This time, for certain.
For the rest of eternity, they'd never have to worry about losing each other.
“It’s all okay now, sunflower. I found you. I finally found you.”
Seoul Highschool — — 1990
Nam Haeun snapped her gum as she strolled down her high school’s hallways.
Everyone parted a path for her as she walked, she never had to pause or ask, everyone just knew. You don’t mess with Haeun, you don’t get in her way and you don’t make eye contact unless she’s talking to you.
If you want your face intact, those are the rules you follow.
No one, not even the teachers bothered her. They didn’t say anything about her skirt being rolled up way higher than the dress code permitted or that she sometimes skipped classes. The faculty wanted to ignore her just as much as she ignored them. They were just relieved that her grades were good enough to get her into university so they didn’t have to see her around another year.
She kept her hands in her pockets as she walked into her homeroom class. The minute she stepped in, everyone fell silent. She paused by the front of the room, her body stiffening as she stared at the top of someone’s head that was bent down scribbling furiously in his homework book.
He was sitting in her seat.
No one sat in her seat.
Ever.
The class president saw the way her jaw tensed and her eyes narrowed and quickly darted to her side, keeping his gaze low, “He’s new. He didn’t know. Please don’t beat him up.”
“If he’s new then you should’ve told him, Jaehyun.” She growled under her breath.
He gulped, “I’ll tell him right now.”
“Too late.” She barked.
She stalked over to her desk and kicked the leg of the desk so hard that it hit the wall. The boy flinched, jerking back before peering up at her, eyes wide behind a pair of thick black-framed glasses.
The minute their eyes locked she held her breath.
In this life, they were 16 when they met.
She could feel everyone watching her, waiting to see exactly how she’d put the new kid in his place.
But to their shock, she just curled her hands into fists, muttered a quiet, “Sorry, my bad” and stomped to the desk behind him, shoving some other kid out of his seat and dropping into the chair.
Everyone was staring, awestruck, at how the meanest, scariest girl in school just gave the quiet new kid a free pass. Haeun never made exceptions, didn’t matter if you were new, a saint, or a toddler, you cross her, she’ll bring the heat of hell with her.
Her classmates were whispering conspiringly until their teacher walked in and begun taking attendance. She had her eyes closed through the entire lesson until the bell rang dismissing them for lunch. When she opened her eyes, the new kid in front of her was gone but there was a small note on top of her desk.
Found you, sunflower.
She grinned, forever grateful that she had stayed in the temple and begged the Gods to let them meet again.
Joseon Dynasty — — 1905
She heard the rumours.
It was why she stopped visiting town.
They’d pretend not to see her in her white robes like she was a ghost.
But they’d still whisper that she had gone insane after her husband died, or that the God of Love had turned her into a sunflower. Some even thought she had killed herself.
No.
She didn’t dare leave this earth, not when it was the only place that reminded her of Taeyong.
Days had lost colour, joy wasn’t a real emotion, not when half of your heart dies, buried in the palace grave next to the spot where her body would eventually be laid. Mark had tried begging her to come back home, to live in the house meant for her and Taeyong, but she couldn’t bear it. Why should she step into a house meant for a ghost?
Instead, she made a home in a temple away from the town, far enough that even the most devout wouldn’t bother the trip. Her white robes didn’t stand out as much in the presence of spirituality.
She didn’t need her words to fall on anyone else’s ears other than the Gods’.
There was no one else who could do anything for her except them.
So she spent her mornings, noons, and evenings, her summers, springs, and winters, hoping that her words reached the heavens, that they’d look upon her favorably and then grant her wishes.
She dared say, they owed it to her.
Haeun sat on her knees in front of the altar before holding a paper charm up. She held it over a candle and watched it burn. Once the ashes scattered through her fingers, she stood and reached overhead to ring the brass bell three sharp times just like she had seen shamans do before. She got back on her knees and leaned forward, pressing her forehead against the wooden floors and cried in pained wails.
“To any Gods above that may hear my plea, I beg you to let me meet my love again. Please bring back our souls together and give me the life you so callously stole. Bring him back to me. I cannot spend eternity without him. I ask of nothing else please reunite my soul with his before I die.”
She clasped her hands over her head and pled, “I pray to you, find mercy on my empty soul."
Haeun clutched the wooden sunflower pendant that hung around her neck and whispered softly to the moon.
"Let me see him in another life.”