Chapter Text
(then)
Brooke’s second semester midterms are starting in four days and she’s ready to fall asleep on top of her textbooks to make the information sink in faster.
It’s not that med school exams are harder, per se. It’s that the amount of information they’re expected to know, expected to apply in practical situations feels insurmountable, like they’re supposed to be walking, talking encyclopedias. Brooke feels like her head is going to burst.
She walks back to her apartment from her Genetics class in the evening, her mind already ruminating on topics to focus on, reviews to put together. Maybe she can form a study group, divide and conquer with some of her friends in class so that they can get through the information faster, but she pauses once she turns on the light in the doorway, her stomach feeling slightly unsettled because-
There’s something wrong with the apartment.
Brooke’s mind registers the thought a second after her eyes scan over the entrance and kitchen, because it looks...off.
The counter is missing a fruit stand. The coffee maker.
She hadn’t tripped over a mountain of shoes in front of the doorway when she’d walked in, because there aren’t very many shoes in the entrance anymore, which is strange, because normally both her and Vanessa curse every time they walk in and fall over their own footwear in the process.
The apartment is suspiciously quiet, too, which doesn’t make sense and fills Brooke with unease, because Riley normally runs up to the door whenever anyone gets home and Vanessa’s study playlist is always on as background noise. Almost like a quiet hum, reminding her that she’s back home.
Except that tonight, all she hears is the slight drip drip drip from their leaky kitchen sink, along with the low hum of their fridge. Sounds that normally aren’t heard in their apartment because it’s too noisy, but tonight they feel deafeningly loud, too loud, and she needs the study playlist back.
Brooke drops her bag on the kitchen counter, fiddles with the knobs of the sink because the sound is loud and she can’t listen to it anymore. Not that it helps as it drips and drips, each drop matching the way Brooke feels the suppression of her panic slow begin to slip away. She squints her eyes at the fridge because it seems like it’s missing pictures, like the Polaroids from the time they went to a carnival, the family pictures that the two of them had taken with Henry, Apollo, and Riley. There’s normally tupperwares that usually sit on their kitchen table because their cupboards are just too tiny to fit them, but they’re not there anymore, and Brooke’s sure that she didn’t take any for lunch, so where have they gone?
Henry jumps up onto the counter beside her, nudges her elbow, and the sight of him slows the speed of her thinking down just a little. He’s still here, and Apollo is on the couch, as they both should be. Like normal.
But where’s Riley?
Brooke pushes open the door of the bedroom as softly as she can, because maybe Vanessa’s just taking a nap and Brooke really does need to apologize, she does, because their fight a few nights ago is still making the pit in her stomach feel like a black hole. One that’s growing with the vibes of their apartment, of things being just a bit off, just a bit out of place.
The day after the fight, Vanessa had avoided Brooke when she came back to the apartment, barely sparing her a glance and Brooke’s anxiety had begun to grow and grow, eating away at her insides, because sure, they’d fought before, but never this bad. Never with cuts so deep, cuts that they both knew would sting.
Cuts that still do, if Brooke thinks about them.
But they need to fix this, and Brooke is willing to take the first step, put herself out there, because, well-
She misses Vanessa. She’s missed her for more than a year, since things turned completely upside down between them.
But maybe they can, because maybe Vanessa’s just sleeping. Brooke turns on a bedside lamp looking towards the bed and she freezes.
Vanessa’s not there, either.
The bed is empty. As is the closet, the doors strewn open and half of the clothes are missing, including the sweater that’s always thrown over the desk chair. The desk itself is missing the mountains and mountains of textbooks that it normally has, half of it bare and clear of dust while the other half still holds Brooke’s books. The room looks wrong, so wrong because it’s missing half of what it normally has and why does Brooke feel like she’s in a twilight zone?
Riley’s bed is gone from the corner of their room, and so is his leash on the back of the entrance door when Brooke runs over to check, just in case she’s imagining things. But she’s not, because when she looks around in the entrance closet she doesn’t spot Vanessa’s favourite bomber jacket, either. Nor does she see the piles and piles of DVD cases that are normally lined up on the shelf beside the television, because the shelf is empty, as is the coffee table of the gossip magazines that Vanessa likes to read and make fun of.
It’s as if all traces of Vanessa have been pulled from the apartment, save for the picture of the two of them from freshman year that’s hanging high up on the wall in the living room and oh god, she’s gone, Vanessa’s gone because all of her stuff is gone.
Brooke nearly trips on her way to the bathroom, because maybe she’s seeing things, maybe Vanessa really is here and has been in the shower this whole time and this is all one big dream but-
The shower is empty, as is the shampoo bottle holder that hangs from the faucet because only Brooke’s shampoo and conditioner are there.
The apartment feels too disorienting, too big, and too off, everything is off and doesn’t feel right, because where did Vanessa go? Maybe she’s just gone to Silky’s, maybe she’s in a mood and she’ll come back later like she always does and they can try and fix things once and for all-
She’ll call Silky. That’s what Brooke will do. Silky knows things, Silky is Vanessa’s best friend and if anyone knows anything about what’s going on, it’ll be Silky.
Silky picks up on the fourth ring and Brooke breathes a sigh of relief.
“Silky, hey, do you know where Vanessa is? I haven’t seen her in a while, is she at your place?” Brooke plops herself down on the couch, and everything will be okay, really, because Silky will know and will help her sort it out.
Except that all Brooke hears on the other side of the line is a small gasp.
“You good?” Brooke tilts her head, pressing the phone in between her shoulder and cheek.
“You don’t know?” Silky’s voice is hushed, quiet, and makes Brooke wrinkle her brow.
“Know what?”
“Shit.” Silky’s muttering under her breath and Brooke is confused, because it doesn’t make sense, none of this makes sense.
Brooke runs a hand through her hair, and she can feel her heart racing again, because something’s up, something’s up, except she doesn’t know what. “Tell me. What’s going on?”
“Brooke, I dunno if it’s my place, if I’m the one who-”
“Silky.” Maybe Brooke’s voice is shaking, because something is wrong, really wrong, and Silky knows. “Tell me.”
“Vanessa didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?” Brooke’s gasping in air, because it feels like it’s all gone from her lungs. Vanessa feels far away, too far, and it’s not new, not really, because they aren’t each other’s go to people anymore, but that doesn’t ease any of the dread settling over Brooke’s heart.
“She transferred.”
The two words wash over Brooke and she’s frozen on the couch, barely registering when Apollo climbs on top of her lap. “But...but...the semester’s not over and she’s in fourth year, what do you mean she’s transferred?”
Silky has to be wrong, she has to, because there’s no way Vanessa would just pack up and leave. Except that the apartment’s empty, all the words coming out of her mouth feel empty, everything feels empty.
“She left for LA this morning.”
“What?”
“Has a cousin there, transferred credits to UCLA. She’s applied to med school there, too, for next year.” Silky pauses on the other end of the line, the crackles over the phone matching the static that feels like it’s taking over Brooke’s brain. “What, you didn’t know she’d applied?”
“No, I knew that, she’d said that, I knew she was thinking about med school there.” Brooke rubs her face with one hand because she remembers Vanessa saying something like that, but she hadn’t thought that she was serious about it. Because LA is far, and Vanessa’s close to her mom and her family, and moving to LA would mean that the two of them would be far apart from each other, too.
Not that it would even matter, anymore.
The words start to feel more and more real the more that Brooke thinks about them, paired with the dread that is building and building, because, what if Silky is right?
Med school is starting to make sense. Brooke can understand that.
But transferring in the middle of the semester? Vanessa wouldn’t-
“She spent all of Wednesday calling schools at my place and looking up transfer options and keeping credits.” Silky’s words feel far away, too far away. “She was serious about it.”
Brooke squeezes her eyes shut. Maybe, just maybe, her unconscious is making this up. Maybe she’s asleep, and Vanessa’s still beside her, and they’ll work everything out, and it’ll be fine, really, because Vanessa wouldn’t just go.
But she’s still there, on the couch, when she opens her eyes, Henry still perched on the arm of the couch beside her.
The apartment a little too empty.
“She really left?” Saying the words leave a bitter taste in Brooke’s mouth no matter how soft she says them, because it makes them real, makes them sink in despite the fact that Brooke desperately does not want them to.
“Shit, Brooke.” Silky’s voice is full of regret and Brooke’s stomach turns over and over and over. “I thought you knew. You shouldn’t have had to find this out from me.”
“No, I-” Brooke trails off, swallowing a lump in her throat, closing her eyes again because she doesn’t want to look at their open bedroom door, missing too many things. “Thank you for telling me.”
It’s good Silky did, really. Because what if she didn’t? What if Brooke kept waiting around and around, expecting Vanessa to come back?
Except she won’t. She’s gone. She’s taken everything with her and fucked off to LA and transferred schools and-
She didn’t even say goodbye.
Or tell Brooke anything.
Or even give her a heads up.
She’s just left, Vanessa’s just left and she’s probably a thousand miles away and not in their apartment anymore and shit, Brooke knows that their fight had been bad, but now?
There’s no way to fix it, either.
Brooke hangs up the phone with empty words that she barely registers, but hopefully ones that placate Silky because she feels like she’s out of it, floating up in a dream, or rather a nightmare. One where everything is wrong, messed up, one where Vanessa’s actually gone, for good.
“The number you have dialed is out of service. Please check the number and try your call again.”
Fuck.
Brooke’s sitting on her kitchen floor, leaning against the dishwasher, the cool tiles underneath her doing nothing to ground her, bring her back down, break her free from what’s happening.
She dials Vanessa’s number again, just in case.
Maybe she’d made a mistake when dialing the first three times. Typed in a wrong number somewhere.
“The number you have-”
Brooke throws her phone against the wall before the message can complete itself.
Brooke doesn’t know what makes her take the bus all the way to Brampton and knock on the door of a house in the suburbs until Vanessa’s mom opens the door, pulling her inside because she’s shivering from the rain.
“Brooke, what are you-”
Vanessa’s mother’s words trail off as her eyes widen in realization, and she’s pulling Brooke into a hug, wrapping her arms around her and muttering words underneath her breath in Spanish that Brooke doesn’t understand. Brooke’s breath hitches in her throat, because she’s realizing how long it’s been since someone’s held her close. Because her own mom hasn’t done so in god knows how long, and fuck, of course she’s beginning to tear up in front of Vanessa’s mom.
“Oh, mija.” Vanessa’s mom reaches up a thumb to wipe the tear mark down her cheek and Brooke hates it, she does, because she’s being weak and why has she even come over here?
She can’t help the way she peeks over Vanessa’s mom’s shoulder, looking for a familiar head of curls. As if maybe, just maybe, Vanessa’s just at her childhood home.
“She’s not here. Left two days ago.” Vanessa’s mom is looking at her with...not pity, but concern in her eyes that Brooke wants to block out from having to see.
Brooke opens then closes her mouth, because what can she say, really? Vanessa’s gone, she’s really gone and from the look on Vanessa’s mom’s face, she hadn’t been aware of the fact that Brooke didn’t know.
“She’d told me you two had a fight, thought that’s why she booked a plane ticket so fast. Even though it’s peak holiday season and they’re expensive as hell right now.” Vanessa’s mom is pacing the kitchen, and Brooke wants to disappear. “She didn’t tell you, did she?”
Brooke shrugs, looks down, because if she opens her mouth, she’s gonna lose it in front of her girlfriend’s mom.
Well.
Not girlfriend, anymore.
Considering that Brooke can’t even reach other over the phone, much less in person.
The realization makes her swallow hard.
“Ridiculous.” Vanessa’s mom mutters under her breath, picks up her phone, curses when the phone beeps and she gets an answering machine. She rattles off a message in Spanish, one that Brooke doesn’t understand but sounds angry, though she’s not sure she wants to know what she’s said.
Vanessa’s mom puts her phone down and part of Brooke wants to ask for Vanessa’s new number that her mom clearly has.
But part of Brooke knows that it won’t make a difference.
Vanessa’s not going to pick up, anyway.
Brooke moves into a basement apartment exactly thirty days after Vanessa leaves.
Brooke feels like she’s been seeing ghosts of Vanessa everywhere - on campus, at the store, on the bus. A loud laugh, a head of dark curls, signs that make her whip her head around and look and inevitably become disappointed when she realizes that the people she sees aren’t Vanessa. She doesn’t want to be faced with reminders of her, doesn’t want to get her hopes up when she knows, she knows, that Vanessa isn’t here anymore. That Brooke had been the one to make her leave.
Brooke probably deserves the hollowness in her chest from it, the one that reminds her that everyone important to her will leave. That if she opens her heart for the taking, it won’t stay safe. That others can come in and snatch pieces of it away from her and then fuck off to another country forever with no other cares in the world.
The apartment is cold and wet and cramped with the cats but it doesn’t remind her of Vanessa, doesn’t bring back memory after memory of Vanessa’s laugh, Vanessa in her arms, Vanessa falling asleep against her shoulder. The twin size bed is big enough to hold just her, not having space for another body where Vanessa would fit (used to fit). It’s closer to campus, not that it matters, because she doesn’t really go to class anymore.
What’s the point?
Brooke’s in bed, Henry and Apollo curled up beside her, staring at the cracks on the ceiling that definitely have spiders walking along them, when there’s a knock on the door.
She barely has the chance to mutter fuck off when the lock fiddles, the door opening, and suddenly Brooke’s regretting ever giving Steve and Jon a key to her place.
“C’mon. It’s been more than a month.” The two of them are standing at the foot of Brooke’s bed and she wants to pull her pillow on top of her face. “No more.”
“Go away.” Brooke mumbles the words, eyes closed, hoping in vain that they’ll work and make her friends go away, but no such luck when Steve pulls her blanket back, making her shiver at the sudden cold air.
“You can’t let yourself fall down a hole, B.” Steve’s voice is quiet. “We want to keep you from it.”
“Who even cares?” Who does? Vanessa doesn’t care about her, her family doesn’t talk to her much anymore, she’s got her cats and her friends at school but they don’t get it, they don’t, they don’t understand why she can’t get up.
Brooke just can’t do it.
“Do it for us. Your worried gay dads.” Jon pokes her side and it makes her grumble.
“First of all, I’m older than both of you by a few months, so jot that down.” Brooke shoots the two of them a dirty look, but neither seem to care, grabbing her hands and pulling her up into a sitting position. “Second, don’t you have midterms to study for?”
“You’re still on top of the study schedule. Proud of you.” Steve’s eyes are kind, searching her face, but they make Brooke scowl.
“Can’t help it.”
“Yes, we gotta study, and so do you.” Steve pulls out his phone. “But before that, I want to show you Melissa.”
Brooke doesn’t want to take the bait, she really doesn’t, because she knows Steve and Jon are trying to distract her, but who gives a fuck about another girl?
Someone who’s not Vanessa?
But still, Brooke can’t help it.
“Who’s Melissa?”
“Ah, glad you asked.” Jon sits up straight on the bed, pointing to Steve’s phone. “Only your dream lady.”
Brooke scrolls through the photos. She’s hot, Brooke will give her that. A redhead and tall and covered in freckles and Brooke can see a faint outline of abs in the picture.
Very much unlike Vanessa.
“Go out with her and we won’t bother you for a whole week.”
“Just a week?” Brooke snorts, because she knows that they won’t stick to it. But part of her doesn’t mind, not really.
It’s not like she’s doing anything else.
“So you’ll do it?” Steve turns his phone off, looking hopeful. It makes her laugh, how much him and Jon are trying to help her move on. As if it’ll ever work.
But then again, she hasn’t gotten laid in awhile.
“Sure, why not. Give me her number.”
It’s not like Brooke’s ever going to find Vanessa’s, anyway. Vanessa’s made sure of that fact.
It’s fine, it really is.
Even though it’s not, and never will be.
(now + 1 year)
“Are you sure you’ll be okay, Dr. Hytes? Eleven hours straight is no joke.” Scarlet yawns as she asks the question, the surgical team around them shedding themselves of their scrub caps and gowns after a long, long procedure.
Brooke waves her away as she fights off a yawn of her own. Unlike the nursing staff who had gotten to switch out, she’d been in the surgery the entire time, from early in the morning when the sky was still dark outside to now, when the sun’s already beginning to set. Brooke’s used to such marathon days, the long hours of surgery for complicated cases being the ones she thrives in the most, pushing her brain and her focus to their limits.
That being said, she can’t wait to go home and catch up on the sleep that her brain is so desperately craving.
“I’ll be fine. I take Ubers on the long surgery days, so no risk of getting drowsy at the wheel right now.” Brooke shrugs. “Learned that the hard way.”
She’ll document for the surgery tomorrow. Right now, there’s only one place she wants to be, with one specific person.
Brooke waves goodbye to Scarlet and the rest of the surgery team as they scatter towards the offices, grabbing their belongings to head home. She almost falls asleep in the back of the Uber, blinking away drowsiness when the car pulls up to her place.
It’s only eight, but Brooke is exhausted. She hasn’t eaten save for a quick protein bar during the procedure, hasn’t had a second to breathe or lose her focus since before the surgery started. Brooke feels like she had to pour a little bit of herself into the patient to make sure that they survived, and survive they did.
And so Brooke will keep doing it, again and again for every complex patient she has.
On nights like these, Brooke used to order takeout, turn on Netflix on for background noise, and pass out on her couch before even finishing her food. When she pushes open the front door now, though, she’s met with the smell of dinner in the oven and candles lit at the kitchen table, along with a smiling Vanessa peeking from over the counter.
“You’re done!” Vanessa’s grin makes Brooke smile too, her face unable to avoid doing so because god, she loves her girl.
“Home at last.” Brooke drops her bag in the entrance, shedding her coat and shuffling over towards Vanessa as she holds back a yawn.
Vanessa drops her wooden spoon back into the pot on the stove, wasting no time in wrapping her arms around Brooke. Brooke hugs her tight, resting her chin on top of Vanessa’s head.
Vanessa pulls back slightly, still in the hug, looking at her. “How’d it go?”
“Good. Got all of the tumour without disrupting any major nerves. Took forever, though.” Brooke thinks back to the surgery, the painstaking work that nearly made her go crosseyed. She doesn’t want to look at a brain for a while, something that's impossible, really, being a neurosurgeon.
“There’s a reason they came to you. No one else would do it that well.” Vanessa’s beaming, proud, and no matter how many times Brooke sees that expression on her face, it always makes her blush a little.
“Pfft. Not even. I’m just glad it went okay.”
“The family will be so happy. You did a great thing for them and the patient both. Now, c’mon.” Vanessa tugs on her hand, bringing her towards the kitchen table and pushing down on her shoulders until she sits down. “Making you that stir fry with noodles you said was your new favourite last time we had it.”
Brooke feels her heart melting. “Anyone tell you you’re the best?”
Vanessa presses a kiss to her lips before returning to stir the pot still on the stove. “You, all the time.”
They bring their dinner to the table rather than the couch, and Brooke can’t help how fast she gulps it down.
“Slow down.” Vanessa snorts, waving her fork in Brooke’s direction.
“Can’t help it,” Brooke’s voice is muffled by the noodles in her mouth, “haven’t eaten in hours.”
“Goof.”
“You’re a goof.”
Vanessa sticks her tongue out her and it makes her laugh, nearly choke on her noodles. She nudges Vanessa’s foot under the table. “How was your day?”
“Had some consults. No procedures.” Vanessa shrugs before pausing, looking up at Brooke. “But the head of thoracics and cardiovascular surgery at the Cleveland Clinic called me today.”
Brooke pauses, noodles still in her mouth. “Yeah?”
Vanessa nods. “Yeah, she read the case study I wrote on the complicated LVAD patient from last year.”
“Woah. V, that’s huge.” Brooke whistles as she takes another bite. Brooke knows that the Cleveland Clinic is one of the biggest cardiology centres in the world, renowned for their research and clinical components both.
Vanessa being recognized by them, contacted by them? Brooke wouldn’t expect anything less.
“They want me to work with them.”
“That’s amazing!” Brooke’s about to get out of her seat, run around to the other side of the table to hug Vanessa before she pauses. “Wait, the Cleveland Clinic is based in Ohio. Are you gonna move there? I mean, you gotta, they have so many resources, They’re world renowned-”
“I’m-”
“Forget Toronto General at this point, Nina will get over it-”
“Br-”
“This would be such a huge career move, not to mention all the access you’d have to-”
“Brooke!”
Brooke pauses, her mind still running through all the possibilities Vanessa has in front of her. The Cleveland Clinic. Brooke knows that Vanessa is good - she’s glad that other people are starting to realize it, too.
Especially those at the forefront of cardiac research.
“What?”
“I’m not moving.”
Brooke frowns at the way Vanessa says it with an air of formality, as if it isn’t up for discussion.
“Why not? This could be so good for you!”
Vanessa shrugs. “Don’t have to.”
“What do you mean, you don’t have to?” Brooke can feel her stomach begin to turn over. “Wait. You’re not only going to stay here because of me, are you?”
Once it crosses her mind, the thought is impossible to ignore. Vanessa leaving is what had made them break up back in university. Pushed them out of each other’s lives for eleven years with bitterness and hurt building up and up and up, before it all exploded.
Is Vanessa afraid of it happening to them again?
Brooke reaches a hand across the table. “I’m not going to be the one to hold you back here. That’s not what a partner does in a relationship.”
It’s true. They’ve been dating for over a year and a half now, they have keys to each other’s places. Nina calls them the ‘Surgery Power Couple’.
They’re stable. They’re happy.
They’re stronger.
Brooke knows Vanessa’s love for her. She sees it in the way that Vanessa massages her shoulders after a long day, the way that Vanessa lights up whenever Brooke drops by her office. The way Vanessa holds her extra tight, sometimes, when they’re staying over at each other’s places and they’re falling asleep.
She doesn’t need reassurance of it anymore, the way that she used to. Because they’re strong, they’re secure.
And Brooke doesn’t want to be the one to hold Vanessa back.
“No, I-”
“Wait, let me finish.” Brooke bites her lip. “Don’t not go just because of me. That’s ridiculous.”
“Let me finish, you dork.” Vanessa snorts and Brooke is confused, because she has to let Vanessa know. That she doesn’t want to hold her back. “The grant is for Toronto General. To do the study at the hospital here, where we already work. I ain’t gotta move to the middle of bumfuck nowhere.”
“Cleveland, actually-” Brooke pauses. “Wait, you won’t have to move?”
Vanessa rolls her eyes. “That’s what my ass was tryna tell you before you started rambling and working yourself all up.”
“Oh.” Brooke squeaks out the words but she can’t help the way her heart feels like it’s being lifted up, up, up, because Vanessa gets to work with the Cleveland Clinic but she gets to do it here.
“I get to start a new study here at the hospital and work with some of the researchers there and get the funding from them, too.” Vanessa’s grinning, squeezing her hand. “We’ll see how it pans out but it’s gonna be a five, ten year project at least.”
Brooke’s mouth drops open. “Woah.”
“I ain’t going anywhere for a long, long time. Get to keep pulling your pigtails. Still gotta finalize all the details and get the process formally started, but it’s gonna happen real soon.”
Brooke doesn’t even know what to say because Vanessa’s here, she’s going to stay, she wants to stay.
Vanessa pushes her bowl away when she’s done. “Besides, you really think I’d ever say yes if I had to move to Ohio? What do they even have in Ohio? Corn?”
Brooke holds back a laugh. “Isn’t that Iowa?”
“They fucking sound the same to me.” Vanessa shrugs, standing up and coming around the other side of the table to hug Brooke from behind, press a kiss to her cheek. “Besides, Ohio doesn’t have you.”
Brooke leans back against Vanessa, putting her hands on top of hers and she can’t get over how right everything feels. This was where they thought they’d be, back when they were in school. When they were studying like mad and applying and hoping for the best, when all they wanted to do was work in a hospital and have operating rooms as their domains and here they are. They’ve made it.
While finding their way back to each other, where they’ve always meant to be.
Brooke looks up. “If you ever got something and it meant you had to move though, you shouldn’t hold back-”
“I know.” Vanessa hugs her even tighter. “If either of us got an opportunity like that? We’ll talk about it. Work through it together, figure out what we wanna do. ‘Cause we’re a team, baby.”
Brooke smiles. “Yeah, we are.”
They climb into bed early that night, Vanessa practically dragging Brooke under the covers after she nearly falls asleep while brushing her teeth.
Vanessa’s pyjamas are in Brooke’s drawers, her skincare products on the counter, some of her work clothes in the closet. Her presence permeates Brooke’s apartment, making it feel so much more cozy, so much more welcoming. So much more like home. Brooke doesn’t want it any other way.
Vanessa’s absentmindedly tracing patterns on Brooke’s shoulder as she feels herself drifting off into sleep. She has the day off tomorrow, as she always does after long surgeries, but she’s ready to pass out. That is, at least, until Vanessa whispers softly.
“My lease renewal is coming up.”
“Hmm?” Brooke opens one eye blearily, looks over at Vanessa with her curls splayed all over her pillow, her face all soft and makeup-free.
“For my place. I need to figure out if I want to keep it another year or not.”
“Oh.” Brooke’s eyes pop open at that, because, well, she’s been thinking about it too. Not about Vanessa’s apartment, but, rather, the need for having two apartments in the first place.
Vanessa is always over at Brooke’s, or she’s at Vanessa’s, having left enough clothing, toiletries, and makeup at each other’s places that neither of them have to ever carry an overnight bag. Both places feel like home and so Brooke has been thinking about it, she has, because really a year and a half of dating - not to mention years of living together when they were in university - has made the idea of moving in with each other cross her mind.
“It just feels like a useless expense every month-”
“Move in with me.” The words are breathless from Brooke’s lips before Vanessa even finishes her thought, and Brooke claps a hand over her own mouth when she realizes what she’s said.
Vanessa’s eyebrows raise in surprise, her lips parting slightly, but Brooke can see the way her eyes are sparkling, the way her face has lit up. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. We practically live at each other’s places anyway. Why not just do it all the time?” It’ll save them a lot on gas, at least, from all the travelling back and forth between each other’s apartments.
Vanessa pokes her shoulder. “Why don’t you move in with me?”
Brooke snorts. “Because yesterday you said you were fighting a war against the pests in your building, and that you think your bathroom is haunted.”
“Oh.” Vanessa pauses. “You’re right. But I ain’t lying, there’s something funky about the bathroom. It has weird noises.”
“And your first thought was ‘ghost’?”
Vanessa shrugs. “Maybe so.”
Brooke moves the hair off of Vanessa’s shoulder that’s beginning to hang in front of her face. “We don’t have to decide just now, whose place we move into. Or if we want to look for a completely different apartment.”
“But we’ll move in together?” Vanessa’s voice is soft, shy, and it reminds Brooke of the early stages of their relationship in university, when they were first getting to know each other and pushing down more and more boundaries.
“If you want to.” Brooke’s words are equally soft as she reaches out to grab Vanessa’s hand, and the way that Vanessa’s face breaks into a smile makes her realize she hasn’t been this happy in a long time.
They’re both where they’re meant to be.
Back in medical school, when Brooke had been pushing through semester after semester and had constantly felt like she was on the verge of drowning, she used to wonder if there would ever be a payoff. If all the struggle, all the hardship would eventually be worth it.
But now? Working in the career field she’s always wanted, finding her way back to her first (and only) love, the very one drifting off to sleep beside her with an arm thrown over her waist?
It had been worth every second.