Chapter Text
The steady sound of electronic beeping and the stale smell of a hospital was what brought Kihyun to wakefulness. He blinked against the harsh lights above him. At first, all he could see was white—pure, stark white, and he could smell the horrible, stale stench of medicine—
He realized with a horrible jolt he didn't know where he was. His instincts kicked in and he jerked upright—he tried. Something was attached to both of his arms, and he felt something similar to the consistency of paper slide over his chest.
“Wait—Kihyun, no—”
Strong hands gripped his arms and tried to lay him back down. Kihyun struggled against the hands, trying to sit up, but whoever it was holding him down held him strong, and eventually Kihyun stopped struggling and let the hands push him back into the hospital bed.
“Kihyun-ah, calm down,” The same voice soothed. “Everything’s okay. Just relax, or they’ll have to sedate you again.”
Sedate? Again?
“Wha—” Kihyun slurred. He coughed; his voice was totally wrecked. He was so confused. What happened? Where was Hyunwoo? Where were they and how did they get there?
The baby. The baby.
He couldn’t feel the heaviness in his abdomen he had started to grow accustomed to. He couldn’t feel anything. His blood turned to ice. He started to freak out again, fumbling with the blankets to feel his stomach. In the midst of his panic he heard shuffling and voices and a door open, but he didn’t care—his baby—his baby girl—
“Kihyun.”
The voice cut through the frantic haze like a knife and Kihyun froze. He knew that voice. That was Hyunwoo. As soon as he recognized the voice, he could feel his body relax. His nerves stopped buzzing like electricity under his skin. That was.. odd.
He forced his eyes open and blinked until his surroundings weren’t melded together and fuzzy. He met the eyes of everyone else in the room—Minhyuk to his left, Jooheon behind Minhyuk, Hyungwon to Jooheon’s left, Changkyun to Kihyun’s right, Hoseok next to Changkyun—and Hyunwoo, at the end of the bed.
His eyes were simultaneously full of pain and relief, staring deeply at Kihyun. A long strip of gauze was wrapped around Hyunwoo’s head and a couple of bandages littered his face and neck, but other than that he looked unharmed. He was pumping out calming pheromones—that explained it, Kihyun knew he hadn’t calmed himself down—and traded places with Changkyun to sit on Kihyun’s bedside.
“Our-our pup,” Kihyun stammered, starting to panic again. He couldn’t feel anything. Why did his entire body feel so numb?
“She’s okay,” Hyunwoo said softly. “She’s alright. And you are too.”
Kihyun burst into tears. Hyunwoo gently maneuvered him into his arms and Kihyun melted against him. He was vaguely aware of their friends leaving the hospital room to give them privacy, but he didn’t do anything except sit in Hyunwoo’s arms and cry for what must have been almost twenty minutes, one arm clutching Hyunwoo and the other one wrapped loosely around his still rounded abdomen.
He tried to talk to Hyunwoo, ask him what happened and about their baby, and he tried to thank God and any other deity that allowed his baby to survive, but all that came out was a hysterical mess of unintelligible words and Hyunwoo tried vainly to calm him down. But Kihyun needed this, he needed to break down. The relief he felt upon hearing his baby girl was okay, she was alive, he hadn’t lost her—it was indescribable. He didn’t know how to begin to articulate it. So he just cried and cried, crying harder when he realized Hyunwoo was shaking with cries too.
There was a quiet knock on the door.
Kihyun took a couple of deep breaths, coached by Hyunwoo, before a doctor in a pristine white coat poked his head in. His gaze turned painfully sympathetic as he registered the sight before him, Kihyun red faced and teary and half in Hyunwoo’s lap with and arm protectively curled around his stomach. The doctor gave a soft smile and stepped fully into the room, closing the door behind him.
“Good morning, Kihyun-ssi,” He said kindly. “How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?”
Kihyun thought for a moment, taking a second to assess how he was feeling. But he didn’t really feel anything.
“Um.. no?” He guessed, struggling to find the words. “I don't know. Everything’s… hazy.”
The doctor nodded. “That’s normal. You’ve just woken up from being sedated. Everything will make more sense and come back to you soon. Until then, I’m assuming you want to hear about your baby?”
Kihyun was nodding before the doctor even finished his sentence.
“Your baby is going to be okay, physically. A kick to any pregnant person’s stomach is going to be dangerous, but your womb has strong and muscular walls and amniotic fluid to protect and cushion the baby. Your stomach will likely be bruised for a little bit. As you fell down the stairs, it seemed you did an excellent job of protecting the baby and making sure you didn’t land on your stomach at any point during the fall, which is remarkable in itself. There may be a little bit of internal bleeding, but physically, your baby will be okay.” He said. “It’s very likely that when she’s born, she will have to be delivered via cesarean section. We’ll keep you here in the hospital for the rest of today and likely some of tomorrow to ensure that she’s still alive and moving.”
“Can I.. hear her?” Kihyun asked weakly, feeling the effects of an adrenaline crash start to wash over him. The doctor smiled and nodded.
“I’ll return with an ultrasound in a few minutes,” He said, then bowed and left the room.
Kihyun relaxed back into the mattress of the hospital bed, feeling more tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat. He let the tears fall as he met Hyunwoo’s eyes, crinkled in relief at the corners and watching him carefully.
“You have a concussion,” He said. “And some bruising around your body. But aside from that, you and our princess are okay.”
“We got so lucky,” Kihyun whispered, his voice dying. Hyunwoo nodded, a few tears dripping from his eyes too. Kihyun didn't let go of his hand.
A few minutes later, the doctor returned with an ultrasound device and another doctor. They quickly set up the device and then lifted Kihyun’s hospital gown to reveal his stomach. A breathy gasp left Kihyun’s lips when he saw his stomach—it was mottled with blues and purples and yellows. Hyunwoo winced and took his hand.
After the gel had been applied and the machine was properly hooked up, the transducer was placed on his stomach. Kihyun tilted his head back to see the screen, staring in wonder at the black and white photo of the fetus in his stomach. Soon, the thready sound of the baby’s heartbeat filled the room. More tears wet his face as the sound of her heart beating flooded his senses. Hyunwoo’s grip on Kihyun’s hand tightened. The doctor smiled again at Kihyun, warm and kind.
“I want to make sure your baby is alright the rest of the pregnancy, so we’ll make your appointments every two weeks instead of every month. I don’t think there will be any problems but with pregnancy we always want to be on the safe side.” He said, and the doctor behind him jotted some things down on a clipboard. “We’ll discharge you tomorrow after another checkup.”
“Is the due date with the baby still the same?” Hyunwoo asked as the doctor got to his feet.
“Yes, it should be. However, it’s also likely that he’ll go into labor early. I would still prepare for the birthday to be in early May, maybe late April.”
Hyunwoo and Kihyun thanked him, and once both doctors took the ultrasound machine away, Hyunwoo climbed up onto the bed to lay with Kihyun, taking the smaller into his arms and tucking him close to his chest. Kihyun hugged him back as best he could despite the pain he was starting to feel and an IV still in his arm. Kihyun nestled himself into Hyunwoo’s torso, pressing his ear against Hyunwoo’s chest to hear his heartbeat. He closed his eyes, sighing.
“You should try to get some more sleep,” Hyunwoo’s deep voice rumbled, his chest vibrating as he talked.
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Just try. I’ll stay here with you. They need to wake you up every couple of hours to monitor your concussion, but I’m not going anywhere.”
“Don’t you want to go home?” Kihyun asked, feeling consciousness start to slip away and exhaustion seep into his bones. His body was starting to hurt but being wrapped up in the warmth of Hyunwoo was comforting. He felt safe and secure.
“No.” Hyunwoo said simply. “I’m going to stay here. Hoseok and Minhyuk are helping us out. I already told them I’ll be here until you’re discharged. They offered to take care of Kyu and bring us changes of clothes.”
Kihyun hummed. That sounded good to him. They had good friends and he loved them a lot.
With that in mind, he let himself fall into the grip of sleep.
After Kihyun was discharged from the hospital with safe pain medication and strict directions to come back if there were any more problems, Hyunwoo and Kihyun video called Jiyong from the comfort of their house to update him on the scenario. Kyu, their corgi, was sleeping in Hyunwoo's lap as they told Jiyong that Kihyun was concussed but he and the baby would be okay—which Jiyong already knew thanks to Minhyuk but was still glad to hear it from Kihyun himself—and they told him of their new plan regarding regular hospital visits. Upon hearing this, Jiyong hummed in approval.
“I’m glad to hear that,” He said, his voice a little gravelly. “I want you to prioritize your baby.”
Hyunwoo and Kihyun both opened their mouths to ask for clarification, but Jiyong held his hand up.
“I believe that despite all the years and effort you two have put into your jobs here, you are first and foremost parents now that you are expecting.” He said seriously. “I’ve changed your status to ‘Unavailable Until Further Notice’ so the intelligence agencies and police know not to try to hire you for help. I’ve also placed you two under protection. Your newest next door neighbor is there to keep you safe. Don’t try to fight me on that decision, I did it because I want you two to feel safe while you spend time being parents and exploring the paths of fatherhood. You can come back when you think you’re ready. Until then, both of you are on an indefinite hiatus and I’ve notified most of the agencies across Korea.”
Kihyun bit his lip. He’d thought there was something a bit off about their new neighbor.
“Jiyong-ssi, how can we thank you for this?” Hyunwoo spoke first, surprising Kihyun. He turned to his husband in shock.
Jiyong quirked his lips into a smirk and leaned back into his desk chair.
“Promise me you’ll tell me when she arrives, and promise me you’ll do everything you can and more to give her a normal childhood,” He said slyly. Kihyun grinned his first true grin in what felt like days.
“We can definitely do that,” Hyunwoo nodded firmly, also smiling brightly.
“Oh, I was supposed to tell you that Minhyuk is planning to stop by at some point today,” Jiyong added, shifting a little to fiddle with something off camera. “I don’t know what his plan or whatever is but it’s Minhyuk, so I guess be prepared for anything.”
Hyunwoo and Kihyun chuckled.
“Anyway, I’d better hang up,” Jiyong sighed, turning back to face the camera. “I’m supposed to be on another video call with the sheriff of Yaksu-dong in, like, twenty minutes. So keep me updated, don’t let Minhyuk suffocate Kihyun, you know the drill. Thanks for your hard work. Please take care of each other.”
“We will, boss,” Kihyun grinned. “Thank you again, so much, for doing this.”
Jiyong waved his hand. “It was nothing. You guys deserve the journey of parenthood.”
“Thank you, Jiyong,” Kihyun said softly.
Jiyong smiled, then hung up. Kihyun slumped into Hyunwoo’s side. Kyu whined his disapproval, and Kihyun giggled, picking up the tiny dog and shifting him to lay across both Kihyun and Hyunwoo's laps.
“I love our boss.” Kihyun mumbled. Hyunwoo laughed and nodded. Kihyun hummed and curled closer into Hyunwoo, almost shifting himself into Hyunwoo’s lap. “Mmm, let’s just stay like this..”
The ringing of the doorbell split the comfortable silence, and both Kihyun and Hyunwoo sighed.
“Minhyuk,” They said at the same time. Then laughed.
Recovery from the attack was rocky for both Kihyun and Hyunwoo. For the first couple weeks or so, Kihyun could barely eat, and he would spend hours on the bathroom floor, hovering over the toilet and sometimes get sick because his concussion was hurting him so badly. There wasn't a lot of options; Kihyun didn't feel comfortable taking any kind of medicine, afraid of what it would do to his baby, so all he could do was ride out the pain. He was hurting, but tried not to complain. He didn’t want to put any more stress on Hyunwoo, especially because he sometimes woke up in the middle of the night screaming.
He occasionally suffered from horrible night terrors about that night. He usually dreamed that the outcome of that night was different—sometimes Hyunwoo died, sometimes Kihyun himself died, sometimes the baby didn’t make it.
The nightmares were terrifying, and they affected Kihyun to the point that he was down for the count after every nightmare, unable to function normally the entire day. After the sixth or seventh nightmare, Hyunwoo and Minhyuk took Kihyun to a psychiatrist, where he was diagnosed with PTSD. Unfortunately the psychiatrist was not allowed to give Kihyun medication due to how far along he was in his pregnancy, but they scheduled therapy appointments with a specialist for every Tuesday at one o’clock.
Initially Kihyun hated having to go, but Hyunwoo finally won him over by convincing him if he could work past this, he would be able to be a better father to their unborn baby girl, who still had yet to be named. Kihyun’s therapist, a lovely older man by the name of Jang Siwoon, quickly became a good friend to Kihyun and Hyunwoo and let Hyunwoo sit in on therapy sessions. It was a long and arduous process, but eventually Kihyun began to get better. By the time April rolled around he was only meeting Siwoon when he felt he needed to.
Minhyuk had insisted on throwing a small baby shower for the two of them in the end of March, around the same time Kihyun’s therapy visits slowed down and the baby nursery was finally completed. The baby shower had been a great success. Changkyun and Jooheon had worked to prepare a wonderful baby bag, complete with everything new parents would need, from clothing to a baby monitor and all the basic necessities like bottles, diapers, et cetera. Hyungwon and Minhyuk gifted Kihyun and Hyunwoo baby clothing and bibs and a tiny pair of little shoes that had Kihyun cooing. Minhyuk’s gift, however, was probably Kihyun’s favorite—a lovely sterling silver bracelet with a four leaf clover charm dangling from the chain. It was perfect for their little girl.
On the morning of April 12th, Kihyun and Hyunwoo got up for their biweekly checkup. They spent most of the morning in comfortable silence. It was one of the first times since the attack in November that Kihyun actually felt rather okay. He felt happy when he looked in the mirror at his bump and he felt less pain than he was used to feeling. He felt normal, for someone who was as pregnant as he was.
“Good morning, Kihyun-ssi, Hyunwoo-ssi,” Their main physician, a wonderful woman named Dr. Cha Soojin, smiled warmly at them as she entered the room. “How are we today?”
“We’re doing just fine,” Hyunwoo said, clasping Kihyun’s hand in between both of his own. Kihyun smiled—it didn’t sound like a lie.
“Good, good,” She said smoothly. “Today I’m thinking we should do an electrocardiogram test on the fetus, also known as a fetal echo. This is basically just an ultrasound, but instead of a picture of the baby, it’s just her heart. It’s also gonna copy her heartbeat, and the recording of her heartbeat and photo of her heart will tell us if she has any heart defects at all. Is that alright with you?”
Kihyun nodded. She grinned a toothy smile. Her teeth were perfectly straight and white, Kihyun noticed. Another doctor entered the room soon after with a machine that looked a little similar to the other ultrasound devices Kihyun had seen in the past. As the two doctors set up the machine, Hyunwoo helped Kihyun lay back and get comfortable on the hospital bed.
“Now, I understand that back in November you were kicked in the stomach?” The second doctor—wearing a name tag that read Dr. Goo—looked up at Kihyun with a slightly pained expression that only deepened when Kihyun nodded. “Did the doctor who treated you after that tell you about possible defections to look for?”
“He mentioned that there might be some, but other than that he told us not to worry,” Hyunwoo answered for Kihyun. Dr. Goo nodded.
“Just relax for me, Kihyun-ssi,” Dr. Cha said as she began to place sticky pads over Kihyun’s stomach.
“I don’t suspect there will be anything wrong, since you’re already very close to your due date and everything seems normal,” Dr. Goo continued. “She’s been kicking and moving as normal?”
“Yes, she has,” Kihyun watched intently as Dr. Cha continued to stick electrocardiogram pads on different parts of his stomach.
“That’s good,” Dr. Goo said. “This test is really just going to serve as a final check to see if there’s anything we missed. If we missed anything, it’s because whatever it was we missed was minor and therefore not anything to worry about. Blood samples from you and baby both seem healthy and fine.”
That lessened Kihyun’s nerves a little bit. He shared a smile with Hyunwoo.
After a little bit of more preparation, the sound of the baby’s heartbeat thudded through the room. The sound of it brought a happy smile to Kihyun’s face every time he heard it. The clicking of the cardiograph next to him was the only thing that caught him off guard—for the first time, he couldn’t only hear his baby’s heartbeat, he could see it. It printed a lovely pattern on a piece of paper that fed in and out of the machine. On the other screen, he could see the close up of his baby’s heart. He didn’t really know what he was looking at, it all just looked like black and white fuzz, but it was strangely comforting. It told Kihyun that his baby was alive.
Once the test was done, Dr. Cha and Dr. Goo spent a couple of minutes poring over the printed paper. After a bit of murmuring to each other, gesturing to the ultrasound picture of her heart, and pointing at the paper, Dr. Cha tutted and looked back at Kihyun with an easy but slightly weak smile.
“Well, the electrocardiograph has picked up a minor defect,” She said, and Kihyun’s heart jumped into his throat. She took a seat next to him and looked at the ultrasound photo of the baby’s heart, pointing at two little white blobs that were close together.
“This right here is the aortic valve,” She explained. “It’s pinched—it should be wider than that. Now, please don’t panic. This honestly is not something I think you need to worry about at all. I’m thinking that this is a very mild case of aortic stenosis—the aortic valve, which controls the flow of blood, is narrower than it should be. But in this picture, you can see it isn’t like it’s very close together. It’s not snapped shut or anything, see?”
“Severe cases of this defect require surgery, but this isn’t severe at all. I think the most your child will suffer throughout her life is minor breathing problems and chest pain,” Dr. Goo chimed in. “This probably happened as a result of the blunt trauma the kick impacted on your stomach. There’s a possibility it will get worse as she gets older but I really would advise against worrying about that. Aside from this, your baby is perfectly healthy. Congratulations to both of you.”
Learning about their baby’s heart defect had been saddening, but Kihyun and Hyunwoo vowed to take Dr. Goo’s advice and keep their heads up, not worry about it too much. Kihyun was nearly at the end of his term. Only a little bit longer, and soon they could hold their baby girl.
The doctor’s official due date was May 8th, but around 3 o’clock in the afternoon of May 3rd, the day before their final checkup, Kihyun went into labor. Just as the doctor predicted back in November, their baby girl was delivered via cesarean section at 9:12 pm. She was born a little under 6 pounds, 17.8 inches long—she was so, so tiny. In order to ensure both the baby and Kihyun were not suffering from any more issues as a result of the attack back in November, they were kept in the hospital until the late afternoon of May 6th. Minhyuk was there every step of the way. He was truly one of the best friends Kihyun could ever imagine himself having. He made sure Minhyuk knew that.
And now, Kihyun lounged in the loveseat in their living room, phone out to catch the most precious moment he’d ever seen—Hyunwoo stretched out on his back on the sofa with their tiny baby girl Chaemin curled up sleeping on his chest. The moment Kihyun held Chaemin in his arms was the minute he realized that this was what he’d been waiting for his entire life. He felt like he and Hyunwoo had fought tooth and nail to get to where they were that night, in the comfort of their own living room, holding their baby girl for the first time. All the hurdles they’d jumped over—the attack, the nightmares, the therapy, the hospital visits—it was hard, it was so hard, but it was so worth it.
The bracelet Minhyuk had purchased was already wrapped around Chaemin’s wrist, which was fisted snugly in the fabric of Hyunwoo’s shirt. She slept peacefully, a soft tuft of black perched on the top of her soft head, snuggled into her father’s chest as her own rose and fell steadily. Kyu snuffled around the baby on Hyunwoo's chest curiously, then licked the soft skin on her forearm, eliciting a tiny squeal from the baby and a chuckle from Hyunwoo and Kihyun. Kihyun laid on his stomach on the loveseat recording the sight for nearly eight minutes, soaking in every second of the beautiful moment.
Kihyun knew Chaemin wasn’t going to have a normal childhood. It wasn’t a given, not for her. Kihyun and Hyunwoo had been involved in their jobs for too long, they’d made too many enemies and were known by too many people to be able to give Chaemin that luxury. But they still wanted to try. He knew there would come a time when he’d have to swallow his fear and let her go on playdates, then go to the mall, and sleepovers, and eventually dates. He knew there would come a time when he and Hyunwoo would have to trust her to protect and care for herself. Almost instantly after their birth, Hyunwoo and Kihyun had made the unanimous decision to continue their indefinite hiatus for as long as they saw fit. They wanted to be parents to her while they could be, and they were going to try their damnedest to be the best parents she could have.
Whatever was thrown at them, they’d get through it as a family. Together. The next chapter of their lives was focused on Chaemin. And Kihyun and Hyunwoo were okay with that.