Chapter Text
"Go away." Jo's words are mumbled against her pillow as she tries to yank the cover over her head.
Idris' added weight insures the blanket doesn't budge, and she lets out an exasperated sigh. "How many walks do you need in one day? Are you training for the Olymp... Oof."
The golden retriever jumps on her chest, before picking up her frantic pacing on the floor, around the bed. Jo frowns at the curious behavior, trailing a calming hand down the dog's back. "All right, what's wrong? That's odd, even for you."
Idris turns and gently sizes the bottom of Jo's t-shirt between her teeth, tugging. "I'm up, just wai..."
She scrambles to the ground, careful to keep her injured foot from hitting the floor too hard. "I'm hurt, you're supposed to be nice to m..." The puppy loses patience, practically dragging her owner by the blue material still held in her jaw.
Jo barely has time to close the bedroom's door behind her, before she finds herself standing in the living room. Smiling reflexively when she notices Yaz laying on her sofa, - she decided to stay over when the movie they watched ended late - Jo scans the rest of the room to track down what disturbed Idris.
About to open the window, Jo’s attention is forced back to the sleeping woman by a whimper. Yaz mumbles indiscernible words, turning on her side to bury her face into purple material.
The dimmed light filtering through the glass allows Jo to get a glimpse of tears on her cheeks, and she carefully makes her way to the couch, sitting on the ground before calling out the police officer's name.
***************
A voice at the edge of her conscious thoughts shakes off the nightmare’s grip on Yaz’s mind. Blinking away the remains of water clinging to her eyelashes, she finds a concerned hazel gaze staring back at her.
“Jo?” Confused, Yaz glances to the old fashioned clock hung on the wall. 2 am. “What..." She trails off when the echoes of the dream she escaped flood her brain. "Did I wake you?”
“Idris, not me. She was worried.”
Sighing, Yaz covers her face with her hands. “I’m sorry. It’s been a while since I've..." She stumbles, rubbing her palms against her eyes.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Yaz pauses her poor attempt to apologize, taking in the genuine worry coloring Jo’s voice. The green-brown compassion regarding her tugs at her heart, drawing up feelings and words buried deep inside her head.
Forcefully stifling down the instinct, Yaz declines. “I’m fine, you can go back to sleep.” She says, frozen by a burst of nerves.
Jo shuffles on the floor, biting her lip. She could have sworn Yaz wanted to talk, before the obvious upset on her features gave way to an unconvincing smile.
“If you’re sure...” Pausing, she distractedly notices the blanket laying on the floor. “Nightmares can be pretty bad though. You know where to find me, if you ever want to talk about it. Or about something else. Anything, really. I love talking, I’m sure you’ve noticed...” She clears her throat when she catches her own rambling. “Sorry.”
The awkward eagerness in Jo’s voice chips away at the fear trapping Yaz into silence, coaxing words out of her mouth. “You’ll think it’s silly.”
“Never.” Emerald eyes widen, as she shakes her head. “I once had a nightmare about an angry potato chasing me down the street. Now that... That is silly.”
Yaz breathes out a chuckle. “A potato?”
“Wearing a spacesuit. It had tiny legs, and it was running after me.”
Sniffling, the dark haired woman can’t hold back a genuine laugh. “You’re making that up.”
“Swear I’m not. Pinky promise.”
The police officer grips back the offered pinky, holding on until their fingers tangle and fall together on the couch. She's blown away by how quickly Jo managed to calm her down.
“I just want to help, Yaz.” The blond whispers.
Swallowing loudly, the police officer lets out another long sigh as she teeters on the edge of a fall into the soft affection looking back at her.
Before she can make a decision, the now familiar sound of pitter-patter against wooden floor captures her attention.
Idris makes her way further into the room, plopping down on Jo’s legs that are stretched out along the sofa’s length.
“Well, hello to you too. Don’t worry, we weren’t having a serious conversation.” The dog ignores her voice, nudging her head against Jo’s chest until she starts scratching her ears. “Can’t you live ten minutes without being the center of attention?”
“Don’t be rude.” Yaz chimes in. “She’s just worried.”
As if she can understand the meaning of the words, Idris shuffles closer. “See?” Yaz reaches out and joins the petting of the golden retriever. “It’s all right, sweet girl. I’m fine now.”
Sensing Yaz’s easy bond with the dog, Jo moves to lean back on her palms. “Idris, up.”
The puppy’s ears perk, her tails wagging as she jumps to curl up in the space left empty on the couch, cradled between Yaz's tucked up knees and chin.
The warm presence against her front brings water to dark brown eyes, as she buries her nose into pale fur. She breathes out a shaky sigh when Jo's fingers ghost along her cheeks, brushing away the first traces of tears.
"Trust me?" The whisper brings Yaz's attention back to Jo, while she considers the question. The answer is not hard to find, not when the woman’s soft eyes overflow with tender affection.
"Yeah."
Jo shifts her hand to Yaz's shoulder, waiting until Idris' tracks the movement to tap the pajama-covered skin twice. The puppy's reaction is instant, her front paws moving on either side of Yaz's neck, nose digging into the side of her head.
"Is that... A hug?" Jo's hummed approval only widens the police officer's grin. "She's hugging me."
"Hug back and she'll let go."
Carefully returning the embrace, Yaz squeezes gently until she feels Idris go back to her initial position, cradled against her chest. Jo's hand finds the dog's head again, scratching under her jaw. "Good girl. You're so smart."
Minutes tick by while they both comb through soft fur, Idris practically purring at the combined attention. Yaz feels the last remains of restlessness fade from her mind, air flowing easily into her lungs again. Jo seems to sense the change, and she looks up, eyes filled with a new playful twinkle.
"Yaz?"
"Hm?"
"Think there's room for one more?"
Glancing back over her shoulder, Yaz takes in the cramped space left on the sofa. "I don't know. It's a tight fit, we'll have to cuddle." She answers, tone colored with mock-seriousness.
"Sacrifices must be made."
Yaz snickers, pushing against the blond's shoulder. "Shut up and get on that couch."
"Are you always that bossy?" Jo wonders, shuffling her weight to her healthy leg to stand. "I feel like I should be warned ab..." She trails off when Yaz grips into the old t-shirt she's wearing, yanking her forwards until she stumbles into plushy cushions.
***************
Between the narrow space, Jo's cast and Idris' presence, it takes a few minutes of adjustments before they find a comfortable position. The golden retriever eventually loses patience with all the jarring movements, jumping off the furniture to lay under the coffee table.
"Thanks. More room for me." Jo says, raising on her elbow to peer at the dog from behind Yaz.
The police officer chuckles, twisting her head back at the same time Jo glances down. They're nose to nose for a moment, before she clears her throat. "Kiss me?"
Green-brown eyes soften, as she dips her head and presses their smiles together. Inhaling sharply, Yaz struggles to adjust to how different it feels, compared to the electric kisses they shared earlier.
Jo's touch is more certain, and the previous teasing, fleeting movements of her lips gave way to a more solid contact that anchors a thankful Yaz to the present. The state of breathless amazement she's in once they separate is the same though, and Jo grins when she catches a twin sparkle of appreciation in the other woman's eyes.
Silence lingers while a pair of chaotic heartbeats settle into their regular rhythm, until Yaz blows out a long, noisy breath and shifts on the sofa.
"Yaz?" Jo prompts, concerned.
"I was fourteen when I went to my first party. It was for this girl's - Izzy's - birthday. I had no idea she would invite me, we were just in the same study group. Well, it turned out that most of our class was invited too." Yaz gulps, thoughts drifting back to her early teenage years.
"God, I was so excited. Izzy was new in our school, and she was funny, and smart, and beautiful. Being invited to her birthday felt like I just won some sort of prize."
"You fancied her." Jo theorizes, and Yaz nods distractedly.
"Yeah. I see that now, but I had no idea back then." She sighs, eyes looking straight ahead to the light grey wall. Laying on her side, she can feel Jo's presence warming her back even if they're not properly touching. It's comforting, without being overbearing, and Yaz spares - another - grateful thought for the woman's subtle support.
"Anyway, I went to her house, talked mostly with the girls on my sports teams, it was nice. Until everyone decided to play drinking games. I don't drink, I can't." Yaz pauses to organize the disjointed memories flooding her brain.
"The rest is very typical. Someone dared Izzy to kiss a girl, I was the closest one, and we ended up snogging in the middle of the room. Except..." Her voice falters on the last word, and she closes her fists. The sensation of nails digging into her palms - her poor attempt to stay grounded - stings, before a voice gently pulls her back to the present.
"Can I touch you?" The question is soft, breaking the grasp of past memories on Yaz's mind. "It's all right if you want some space, I was trying to... I just..." Jo sighs, clumsily letting the sentence go unfinished in the space between them. When Yaz abruptly turns to face her, burying her head against Jo's shoulder, the words she was desperately scrambling for returns. "I don't like seeing you hurt." The blond completes, one hand stroking along Yaz's spine in small circles, while the other cups the back of her head.
The younger woman soaks in every bit of warm comfort, allowing Jo's presence to soothe the turmoil of emotions awakened by her nightmare.
"When she realized I hadn't been drinking, Izzy started teasing me. Saying I fancied her, that I planned for that kiss to happen. That I enjoyed it." Yaz pauses again, voice turned wistful for a second. "She wasn't even wrong. I did enjoy it. I think that's what hurt the most."
"You have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing, Yaz. You know that, yeah?" Jo interrupts, unable to completely tame the flare of burning anger running through her head.
"Yeah." The dark haired woman musters a smile, pressing her lips to the soft skin where Jo's neck meets her shoulders. "I wasn't even ashamed on the day of the party. A bit embarrassed, especially when everyone joined in on Izzy's teasing. I figured it would be forgotten by Monday."
Inhaling sharply, Yaz continues. "I was wrong. It went on until summer vacations. Izzy started it, but then it spread to everyone. People I'd never even talked to would come up to me, call me names or make sick jokes." With a deepening frown, she remembers the worst school year of her life. "You know how cruel teenagers can be. I lost it one day, fought Izzy of all people. My parents were called, I had to tell them everything, and they put me in another school the year after."
Yaz forces a chuckle, a small, strangled sound. "And that's my story. I never saw her again, but I still have nightmares about that year sometimes. It's rare, mostly when I'm shattered after a long day of work."
"Or when someone you like makes an insensitive joke about your religion." Yaz's body tensing against her own is all the confirmation Jo needs. "I'm very sorry." She breathes out. "I didn't know, I shou..."
"Hey, it's fine. I knew you didn't mean it, it just surprised me. And yeah, it brought back some bad memories." Yaz sighs. "But you had no way to know, okay?"
"Yeah, fine." Jo confirms, resting their foreheads together with a small smile. "Feel better?"
Yaz ponders the question, surprised to find a new, blunt edge to her memory of Izzy's relentless bullying. "Yes." She returns the smile, nuzzling against Jo's cheek. "I think I do."
***************
“Jo?”
Yaz breaks the silence that's been stretching around the room since they fell back into a more comfortable position, spooning on the narrow sofa.
“Hm?”
The answering hum vibrates into the space behind Yaz's ear, colored with content sleepiness that holds her question back, until Jo prompts.
“What is it?”
“Why is Idris trained to hug?” The arm laying across Yaz’s stomach tenses, reflexively bringing them closer.
“Picked up on that, didn’t you?” Jo’s voice falters on the last word, breaking her poor attempt to sound casual.
“It’s not a common trick to teach dogs.” She frowns, shifting to her back in slow, careful movements.
The new position forces Jo to move up against the backrest, half raised on her elbow while Yaz cups her cheek with one hand. “That’s what you get for dating a police officer.”
“Should have thought about that.” Jo scrunches her nose, features smoothing when a thumb rubs gently under her eye.
With a sharp intake of breath, she lets her gaze drop to a loose thread on the cushion. “Moving to Sheffield was hard. I was very..." Jo pauses, swallowing through the flow of memories that turns the words in her throat sticky. "Sad. Didn't have many friends either. I struggled for months, before passing by an animal shelter one night. I don't know why, but I went inside. That’s where I found Idris."
Dropping her forehead against Yaz’s collarbone, Jo continues. "The workers told me she'd been there for about a year. She was almost seven at the time - eight now - and people are not interested in adopting older pets. But me..." She shakes her head, glancing wistfully at the golden retriever observing the conversation from the floor. "Can't explain it. I just knew I had to take her home."
A heavy breath sigh the side of Yaz's neck, and she lays a hand on Jo's forearm that's resting above her hips. "I never trained Idris to hug. She just did it one night, and saw my reaction."
“Why did you move?” The dark haired woman wonders, one hand playing with the end of short blond hair.
“I lost someone.”
“Your family?” Yaz chances, tentatively.
"No, it's..." Jo purses her lips, gauging how much of her heavy backstory she wants to share in the middle of the night. "Erm... Someone else. Lost a lot of people, Yaz."
When green-brown eyes drift to the floor, glazed over and darkened by heartache, the police officer backtracks. “Jo.” She waits until the other woman raises her head. “You don’t have to tell me now, just when...”
Yaz is abruptly interrupted by Idris, who jumps back on the sofa until she's squeezed between both humans, tucking her head against Jo’s hip with a low whine.
“Sorry, she’s very...” The blond trails off, exchanging a charged look with the puppy, before scratching Idris' head. “In tune with my feelings.”
Yaz’s gaze flickers between the two. “So, what she’s trying to tell me...” She starts, with a slow grin. “Is that you need a hug too.”
Before she realizes what’s happening, Jo finds herself laying on her back, arms full of an overexcited golden retriever as Yaz hooks her own around her stomach. “Idris thinks we’re wrestling now.” She sighs playfully, barely ducking out of the way of a fluffy tail.
“Can’t you do something?” Yaz complains when a paw hits her squarely on the jaw.
“Ow.” Jo protests, using the arm that’s not holding onto Yaz to fight Idris’ repeated attempts to nibble her face.
“Settle.” When her command is ignored, Jo is left trying to push the dog off the sofa, as gently as possible... Until Yaz snaps her fingers.
“Idris, settle.”
The noise catches the animal’s attention, her eyes shifting to Yaz questioningly. “Settle.” She repeats.
Blinking lazily, Idris makes her way to the other end of the sofa, curling up on Yaz’s feet, her head resting on Jo’s knees.
“How did you do that?” The barely hidden awe in the blond’s voice sends a raising flush to Yaz’s cheeks.
“Police training. They teach you how to make people listen to you.” She quips, with a smile.
“Should have done that.” Jo answers playfully, until Yaz remembers their interrupted discussion.
“What I was saying, is that whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m a pretty good listener. It doesn’t have to be tonight, we have time.”
"Yeah." The small hint at a long term future is not lost on Jo, as she muffles an approving yawn. "We do. Thank you."
Yaz tucks stray hair behind the other woman's ear, fingers ghosting along the soft skin until she traces a defined jawline, leaving Jo leaning into the touch.
"How about sleeping, for now?"
"Hm, good idea." Jo sighs, shuffling until her body is nestled against the backrest. Sliding one arm under her own head, she folds the other around Yaz’s stomach and smile when the younger woman finds her palm, slotting their fingers together.
Jo's eyelids flutter closed, triggering a flow of restless questions to swirl through her brain. She freezes as one particular memory sinks in. “Hold on. You said dating. Earlier.”
“We were snogging in your kitchen five hours ago. I think we can say we're dating.”
“Still got it.”
The exact sentence is lost on the police officer, in a hushed whisper against the back of her shoulder. She can still feel Jo’s lips pull back into a grin.
"I can hear you smirk." Yaz complains, moving her elbow back to nudge the blond. "It's annoying."
Jo has to mold her back against the sofa to avoid the sharp contact to her ribs, frowning when she notices the little space left, with all three of them piled up together.
"You know I have a perfectly comfortable bed, just down the hallway." Jo remarks, catching the way Yaz squeezes closer as she tries to get away from the edge of the couch.
"Yeah. But we're doing this second date thing where people people fall asleep on a sofa together. It's cute."
"We are? Don't I get a vote?" Jo teases.
"No. And shut up, you're the one who suggested cuddling." Yaz sighs. "Now close your eyes and don't let me fall."
"Never. I've got you." Jo's arm tightens gently around her middle, Yaz sinking deeper against the blond's front with a sleepy smile.
"I know."