Chapter Text
Never again.
Her flats were a mercy on her feet, her jeans and t-shirt staving off the worst of the cold as she walked out of the noisy, overcrowded building. She was very glad of her decision to forego the heels Rochel had said would suit her outfit. Flats worked just fine, especially with her low alcohol tolerance. She hated places like that. Why had she even listened to Rochel? They both knew she hated places like that. And yet she’d still gone. How Rochel and Shannon could wear dresses to that place, especially in the cold weather eluded her. She liked being warm. In fact, she wanted to be curled up under her blankets right at that very moment, perhaps watching a movie or two. Those were a good way to kill time – not whatever the hell that mess had been back there. Parties and pubs weren’t her thing. She’d tried and tried, time and time again, but she couldn’t get used to them. People pushing against one another, the sheer heat of the room, especially in the centres where all those bodies congregated. They were a different species to her, she decided. Only strange people would enjoy that, and she wasn’t one of them.
Wind whistled in her ear, and Anna pulled her thin jacket further around her shoulders. “You won’t need a jacket,” they’d said, just liked they’d scoffed at the idea of her bringing a water bottle. She could totally see why bringing a camping chair in case of a lack of seating would be a problem though. She wasn’t that stupid. She was the smart one. How wrong they were. She only wished she’d brought a thicker jumper. It was still wintertime, and things weren’t looking to warming up anytime soon as far as she could tell.
She groaned, scowling as she made her way home from the pub. She never should have listened to Rochel. She hated going out, especially so late at night. The pounding in her head was only growing worse. It was that same word over and over again, carving itself into her brain.
Remember. Remember. Remember.
It repeated itself like a vicious mantra, and the scant amount of alcohol in her system was only making it that much worse. Her body felt tired and heavy, anticipation building in her gut. Why? She had no idea. All she knew was that she was expecting something. Something big. The pounding in her head grew tenfold, and she stumbled along the pavement, fumbling for the key in her pocket. She did have her house key, didn’t she? One clumsy hand massaged at her temples. This was not a good day for her. That much was certain. Her fingers closed around cool metal, and Anna stopped her panicking. All she needed to do was walk home. It was a ten minute walk at best, with only one major crossing. She could make it no problem.
“This is the last time I listen to Rochel about getting out into the world,” she muttered, pain lancing through her head at the harsh whisper in her brain.
“Remember.”
Fire nipped at her skin, her hands burning—
Anna looked frantically down at her hands, turning them over palm up. The same pale white skin tone, free of any burns or fire. So why did they hurt? “Ugh. Rochel will tell me I’m going crazy,” she said, sighing as droplets of rain began to fall, the sound muffling the agony in her head ever so slightly. “I hate this…” Grumbling more words under her breath, she hurried herself along. She wanted to get back before she was soaked to the bone. She knew from experience it wasn’t a good look on her. She doubted it was a good look on anybody… well, aside from the golden-haired elf from her dreams. He could probably pull off that look. She chuckled to herself, blinking as the pounding in her head changed. It sounded more like—
Drumbeats. Marching feet. Blood spattered across her face.
She reached the crossing, cars whizzing past in front of her, the steady sound of drumbeats ringing around her mind as she pressed the button for the crossing. Just a few more minutes, then she’d be home. Just a few more minutes—
A hand pushed against the flat of her back, her eyes widening, time seeming to slow as her head spun around to search for the perpetrator as she stumbled out into the oncoming traffic. Beams of headlights glared all that much closer, gaze narrowing at the sight behind her. Nobody was there. Nothing. Not even a figure running by in either direction. It was almost as if the wind had pushed her itself. Confusion and horror flashed across her face, the screech of brakes and the skidding of rubber against asphalt met her ears. Then time seemed to speed back up, her body slamming into something hard, pain exploding across her body, head cracking back with a slight pop, and then her world turned dark.
She dreamt again, but this time there was something different. The white city – that place of beauty – was on fire. Smooth white walls were in pieces, rubble scattered around the place, buildings demolished and burning in the wreckage. Her heart pounded painfully at the sight. Her home was gone. Destroyed. Dead. There were barely any signs of life – no children racing about the streets as there had been just a day previously.
“Remember.” The sound drifted on the gentle breeze, and then it was gone, replaced by screams and the sounds of buildings crumbling down.
“We must hold the Greater Market for as long as we can!” the soldier standing next to her yelled, taking control in place of their lord who was fending off the assault a little ways away, drawing away the fire drake that’d nearly ambushed them. “Do not let them cross the bridge and reach the Square!”
The orcs in front of them surged forwards, eager to break their lines, but she stood firm against them alongside the rest of her company. She wasn’t the same girl who’d gotten sliced up by their blades all those years ago. She was stronger, faster, and better. She wouldn’t lose. She’d trained too hard for that. Slash, parry, hack, block. Her arm fell into a mindless pattern, body moving almost instinctively as she held the line, allowing the last of the civilians and other residents to reach the secret way.
Drum beats sounded, the floor under their feet shaking, and then the horde in front of them scattered like leaves on the wind, fleeing to the sides. The respite was brief, their lord hurrying over to them, sharp grey eyes looking her up and down before he addressed their group.
“Everyone has either been evacuated or has perished – we need to follow,” he ordered, ushering them towards the bridge, looking back at where the enemy was coming from – his face grim. “Hurry. We are no match for what comes.”
“For what comes?” Her head snapped back around, throat dry as she caught sight of the figures walking towards them – footsteps heavy, flaming hair whipping out behind them, cracks in dark leathery skin which seemed to burn orange from underneath.
“Balrogs,” another woman whispered as they retreated across town, confirming her worst fears. “They will catch up at this rate…”
The bridge came into view, the supports weakened on only one side from falling rubble, but it’d be enough to get them all across. It’d let the balrogs cross too… let them reach the Square and Idril’s Secret Way far too quickly. “I will hold them off here. Hurry across. Quickly.”
She froze, her head snapping around for a second time, heart pounding furiously in her chest as she stared at the lord of their household. He couldn’t be serious. Holding off five balrogs was a suicide mission. The thought squeezed at her chest. He was too noble. Too stupid. Too self-sacrificing. He’d always been like that and it irritated the life out of her. The realisation burned her, legs shaking as she glanced between the golden-haired elf and the five fast approaching figures, her body moving almost on instinct. Her mind was made up. He’d always said she’d run if she saw a balrog. She closed her eyes, not knowing where the sudden rush of courage came from. It was about damned time she proved him wrong about something.
About damned time she stopped waiting for the idiot to make the first move.
“This really is a cruel thing of me to do,” she whispered, grabbing him by the shoulders, yanking his face down to her level, ignoring the startled yelp which was quickly quieted by her lips coming to cover his own. They were just as soft as she’d always imagined over the past few months, their kiss short and bittersweet, barely lasting a heartbeat. How she wished they had more time… but she doubted she’d have been that bold if she hadn’t just resigned herself to a suicide mission. It was the last chance she’d get. Cruel, perhaps, on his end, but she didn’t care in that moment. She stepped back, a sad smile pulling at her lips as she pushed him safely the rest of the way across the bridge. “Go,” she said, walking back across the bridge to where the stone had started crumbling. “Fly you fool!” she yelled, stomping her foot down with all her unnatural strength, watching as her sole route of escape crumbled down, willing the tears back as she stared at the man on the other side of the small canyon. Water rushed down below, the sounds echoing in her ears alongside the rumble of heavy footsteps that brought her doom that much closer. The doom she’d chosen. A smile pulled at her lips. Her parents had always said those who didn’t marry had strange fates, and this was hers. She’d bought them a little time at least. Her head shook, tears pricking her eyes at the utterly dumbfounded and horrified look on his face as he stared between the ruined bridge and her. He hadn’t not enjoyed that kiss. It was just a shame there wouldn’t be a chance for a second. “You idiot… I’m supposed to be the reckless one here…” Her voice was barely a whisper, heart aching at the thought of what could’ve been. Maybe they could’ve had a family together. Raised little elflings together. Stayed by each other until the very end. But apparently that wasn’t their fate. She turned, hands clenching at her sword as the five large figures approached, flaming manes whipping behind them, and blood red eyes fixed upon her as she strode forwards to greet them, her plain blade colliding with the fiery ones as their dance began. Three left, seeking other routes to reach further into the city, but two others stayed. And battling one would have been hard, but she had that strength of hers and an iron determination to match.
Flame sliced over her, heat licking at her face, burning at her side—
“Remember.”
She couldn’t breathe. Fire tickled at her throat, the whip tightening around her neck—
“Remember!”
The dream shattered like glass, and then she fell.
“Time to wake up…”
Anna blinked, staring at the meadow she now sat in, hands gently pawing at her unblemished neck. Hesitantly, she climbed to her feet, movement catching the corner of her eye and she turned, freezing in the next second as she caught sight of exactly what was in the field with her. Or should she say who?
Bluish grey eyes met her own, silvery hair fluttering on the breeze. “I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but we don’t really need any introductions,” the musical voice floated through the air, a sheepish smile pulling at the she-elf’s lips. “You know why, don’t you?” She walked towards her, footsteps not making a sound nor leaving a trace in the muddy grass. “Of course you do.”
Anna stumbled back, legs shaking as those drumbeats echoed in her ears. “No… I don’t…” she muttered, but the elleth didn’t hear her. Either that or she didn’t care. Anna wasn’t sure which. All she knew was that the silvery-haired lady was in front of her before she could blink.
“Mandos was correct,” she murmured, two fingers coming out to flick at her forehead, and Anna found herself knocked back from the sheer force behind the blow. “It’s time you remembered, and the only one who can help you is me… Hmm… how would you put it…” She tilted her head, a smile on her lips. “Two must become one again and, as your friends probably would say… it’s time to fall down the rabbit hole, Alice.” A grin stole across her face, her lips still moving, the words barely registering as a loud crack rent the air.
The ground crumbled under her already off-balanced feet, and then she was falling again.
Her eyes slammed open, breathing heavy as she woke from the dream-turned-nightmare. Birds sung, the morning sun bright on her unprotected face as she sat up, memories rushing back to her like a flood. She’d been hit by a car, quite badly from what she could recall, so she’d be in the hospital, or so she assumed.
Her assumption was soon proven wrong.
There was nothing between her and the bright blue sky above her. Nothing between her and the grass she could feel underneath her. She swallowed, silently assessing her own body, taking in its undamaged state. “Impossible,” she breathed, stumbling to her feet, freezing as a lock of silvery hair fell in front of her face. Her head snapped around to find the source, her body freezing as the hair moved with it. “No… No, no…” It was her hair, she mused, hands coming up to pull at the silky long tresses. Her silky long locks, she realised with a start. “This can’t be.”
Water rushed by her, echoing in her ears, and Anna wasted no time in hurrying over to it. She needed to know. Needed to see. Needed to check whether her horrifying suspicions were correct. She’d seen that silver hair before… but that was impossible. It couldn’t be. She stumbled into the stream, feet bare as they splashed through the water. Staring down at the water, she paused for a moment, stumbling back as the horrifying revelations sunk in.
“You’ve always known who I am, how could you not?” the voice, her voice, rang in her ears. “For I am you, and you are me.”
Staring up at her from her distorted reflection was the undeniable proof of that, for the face reflected back up at her was the face from her dreams.