Chapter Text
Dahyun smiled to herself as she headed home Friday evening. She didn’t have any lessons to teach on Saturday, so she, Sana, Mina, and Nayeon were going on a trip. She’d rented them a little cabin a bit upstate, on a lake, because the weather was going to be exceptionally warm for the time of year. She and Sana had started packing the night before, and she glowed inside seeing a bit of a spark back in her girlfriend. Maybe going away, a change of scenery, was just what they all needed.
When Dahyun arrived at their apartment, she unlocked the door to find music playing and suitcases packed and by the door. When Sana emerged from their bedroom, she was smiling.
“Hey, honey, how was your day?” Sana came up to Dahyun and kissed her chastely before hugging her close.
“It was good, but I’m excited to be away for a whole two days.” She glanced at the suitcases. “Did you finish packing for us?”
Sana beamed at her. “Yup! We’re all ready to go. What time is Nayeon picking us up in the morning?”
“Eight,” Dahyun said. “Are you sure we should let her drive us?”
Nayeon had recently gotten her license, and she was the only one out of the four of them who drove. She wasn’t the strongest driver, though.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Sana dismissed her worries with a wave of her hand.
They had a quiet night, an early bedtime since they both had to be up and ready early, and things seemed okay. Sana even smiled a few times. Dahyun felt like it’d been decades since she’d seen her girlfriend smile.
The next morning, the two of them stood at the curb of their apartment building. A blue Subaru hurtled toward them, Dahyun jumping back a bit. Sana laughed and took Dahyun’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“Get in losers, we’re going upstate!” Nayeon poked her head out the driver’s side window, yelling at them.
They threw their suitcases in the trunk and hopped into the backseats. The ride up was rather quiet aside from the music Mina selected because, as Nayeon explained to them, she needed relative silence to drive well, and none of them wanted to get in the way of that.
Dahyun let herself relax on the ride, trying not to worry about her mortality being in Nayeon’s hands. She held Sana’s hand, comforted by its warmth. When she glanced over at her girlfriend, she was asleep, her head bumping against the glass of the window. Dahyun wished she could pull her over to sleep on her shoulder, but the middle seat was between them. She instead turned her attention to her own window, watching the world grow greener and more forested as they traveled north. They were going to a popular lake upstate, but it wasn’t its peak season, so Dahyun had been able to get a rental cabin for a reasonable price.
Soon, they exited the highway and the roads grew more winding and rural. Dahyun’s anxiety spiked as Mina whispered words of encouragement to Nayeon while she navigated the curvy roads. She squeezed Sana’s hand, the other girl waking up.
“Are we there?” Sana whispered, blinking her eyes open.
“Almost, honey. Nayeon’s just…” Dahyun suppressed a little yelp as they went over a rather bumpy part of the road.
“She’s got this,” Sana said. “We’re okay, baby.”
Thankfully, Sana was right, and they made it to their destination safely. When they exited the car, Dahyun stretched, but she really wanted to get down and kiss the ground, so relieved they arrived in one piece.
“See? I knew I could do it!” Nayeon exclaimed. “You can all praise me now.”
Mina rolled her eyes while the two other girls laughed.
Dahyun took in the camp. It was in a wooded area, but she could see the lake from the driveway, its waters a deep blue, the body of water surrounded by more pine trees than she’d seen in a long time. She could spot other cabins along the shoreline, but there was considerable space between each of them. It felt like just the right balance of secluded and not secluded.
The cabin itself was rather cute, and felt like something right out of a movie. It was made of wooden logs, and even had a little chimney that Dahyun hoped worked, though she doubted any of them knew how to safely start a fire. There were green shutters, and a green front door, which she carefully unlocked with the code she’d been given by the owner.
When they stepped inside, they were greeted by a large living room, the fireplace against the interior wall, a kitchen off to the other side, and the stairs to the second level, where she assumed the bedrooms were.
“I call dibs on the biggest room!” Nayeon hollered, racing up the stairs.
“Sorry,” Mina said with a little laugh. “She’s so excited about this. Thank you for having us.”
“Please, you don’t have to thank us,” Dahyun said. “We’re happy to have you guys here.” She turned to Sana. “Want to go check out the room Nayeon didn’t call dibs on?” Sana nodded, a small smile on her face.
The girls made their way up the creaky wooden stairs to be greeted by the bathroom on one side, and two rooms across from each other. Nayeon was indeed in the larger of the two—and the one with the biggest bed—but Dahyun was happy to see their room was the brighter of the two, featuring cream colored walls with wood detailing and a skylight, the sun pouring in already.
“It’s pretty,” Sana said softly from beside her. They put their suitcases in the room and made their way downstairs.
“Can we roast marshmallows?” Nayeon was practically vibrating with excitement.
“I think that’s a night time activity, honey,” Mina said, patting her arm as the other girl pouted.
“So what do we even do during the day?” Nayeon asked.
“First, we get lunch at this diner I read about. It’s in town,” Dahyun said. “Then we could go swimming?”
Nayeon’s face lit up. “And see Ms. Myoui in her swimsuit? I think so!” Mina blushed from beside her.
The girls were close enough to walk into town, and Dahyun had read that it was a rather scenic walk through the forest. They found the trail and headed out, Nayeon leading the way despite not knowing where they were going, Dahyun directing her from behind. Sana slipped her hand into Dahyun’s.
“What do you think so far, honey?” Dahyun squeezed Sana’s hand.
“It’s pretty.” She paused. “Are there bears here?” She looked around, her eyes wide with fear.
“Well…” There were reports of bears, but Dahyun didn’t want to scare Sana. “Yeah, but it’s rare.”
She was grateful when Nayeon shrieked, distracting Sana from further questions.
“Oh, sorry, false alarm! I thought this twig was a snake.” Nayeon jumped over the offending twig, her hand grasping Mina’s.
They finally made it to town, which consisted of the diner, a souvenir shop, and a mom and pop convenience store.
“Let’s go shopping after this,” Nayeon said as she looked in the windows.
The girls were seated in the diner and took their time looking over the menu, Nayeon excitedly choosing the stack of pancakes, Mina going for the grilled cheese and tomato soup (which Nayeon teased her for, calling it an old person meal), Dahyun picking the BLT, and Sana…
Sana set down her menu. “I don’t know,” she said. “I…” her voice trailed off.
“How about the waffles? You love waffles,” Dahyun said, as if she had to remind her of her food preferences which, based on Sana’s blank stare, maybe she did.
Sana nodded, and they ordered, making small talk as they waited for their food. Dahyun tried to focus on her other friends, but her attention kept drifting to her girlfriend, seated next to her, their legs touching in the small booth. She was so close, but felt so far away. She seemed to have more energy, but was still… distracted. Dahyun wanted to keep her present.
The food was served before Dahyun could figure out what to do, and they all dug in. The sandwich was good, and Dahyun already knew she wanted to come back to the diner one more time before they returned to the city. Nayeon was loudly exclaiming how much she loved her impractically high pile of pancakes, and even Mina said the grilled cheese was perfectly crisp and gooey.
“How are the waffles?” Dahyun asked, nudging her girlfriend with her elbow.
“Really good,” Sana said with a small smile. She cut up a piece, dipped it in syrup, and held it up to Dahyun. “Try?”
Dahyun giggled as Sana fed her, but her eyes widened as she tasted the food. “Wow, that syrup is so fresh.”
The girls ate contentedly, deciding on their plans for after lunch. They all agreed they needed a bit of time to digest before swimming so, after their walk back, they’d do whatever they pleased. When Nayeon gave Mina a look Dahyun wished she hadn’t seen, she had a feeling she knew what they’d be doing.
“I saw a swing behind the cabin,” Dahyun whispered to Sana as Nayeon practically undressed Mina with her eyes. “Want to sit there for a bit, just be with each other, talk?”
“Sure,” Sana said. “That sounds nice.”
After their hike back, during which Nayeon loudly sang songs she’d learned at summer camp as a child, making Mina softly sing along with her, they split up, Nayeon dragging Mina up the stairs.
Dahyun tugged Sana toward the backyard where there was a two-seater swing with a rather plush looking cushion. They sat down, gently swinging in silence for a bit.
“I never thanked you,” Sana said after a bit.
“For what?” Dahyun asked, brow furrowed.
“For taking care of me. I know it’s a lot, before you claim it isn’t. I see how tired you are, Dahyunnie.” Sana glanced at her girlfriend, a look in her eyes that was seemingly daring her to disagree.
“Sana, what you don’t seem to understand is I’d do this for the rest of our lives. I love you. You’re my world, no, my universe.” Her voice was growing high pitched, passionate. “I don’t want you to suffer, of course, I’m just saying that if this was how the rest of our lives looked, I would stay beside you without a second thought.” She took a deep breath. “So you don’t have to thank me. I don’t want you to thank me, in fact. I just want you to accept my love. Can you do that?” She locked eyes with her girlfriend.
“I can do that,” Sana whispered.
When she leaned in to kiss Dahyun, Dahyun could sense the love, the sorrow, the unspoken emotions, behind it. It was gentle, then desperate. When they pulled apart, Dahyun saw tears trailing down Sana’s cheeks.
“Honey,” she whispered, words failing her.
Sana just kissed her again, her fingers threading through Dahyun’s hair.
Dahyun pulled away, breathing ragged. “You’re crying.”
“So? That’s not stopping me.” Sana gave a sad laugh.
“Talk to me about it?” Dahyun asked, holding Sana back from kissing her again.
Sana sighed, accepting defeat at her attempt to kiss Dahyun again. “I’m feeling more overwhelmed than numb now. I’m still tired, but I feel more. So that’s why I feel grateful, that’s why I’m crying, that’s why I just… feel. I don’t know how else to explain it other than some color is coming back, but it’s overwhelming my senses and it just comes out as tears.”
Dahyun nodded, trying to understand. “I’m glad some color is coming back,” she began. “It’s okay to cry. It’s okay if you need to cry, honey. None of us are going to judge you or tell you to stop.”
Sana bit her lip, nodding her head. “I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you, too.” Dahyun kicked her feet, making the swing go back and forth again. “I once read that rhythmic movements are calming. How about I just swing us back and forth for a bit?”
Sana closed her eyes, a small smile on her lips. “I’d like that,” she said.
And so Dahyun pushed the swing with her feet, back and forth, back and forth. Sana kept her eyes closed, but Dahyun knew she wasn’t asleep—she was just being. And Dahyun was glad, so glad, she got to just be alongside her.
Dahyun lost track of time, but soon Nayeon and Mina emerged from the house and Nayeon excitedly asked if it was time to go swimming.
Sana laughed at Nayeon, and the other two girls agreed it was time. They all changed into bathing suits, Dahyun taking time to admire Sana in her red one piece.
“You look beautiful, honey,” she whispered against her lips.
“Mmm, you look stunning,” Sana said, her eyes scanning her girlfriend.
Dahyun blushed, taking in her simple black two piece in the mirror.
Sana took her hand and they practically ran to the waterfront, laughing as they did. When they entered the water, all four girls shrieked at how cold it was.
“IT’S FREEZING!!!” Nayeon screamed.
Sana cupped her hands in the water and tossed it at Nayeon, who screamed louder, splashing back. Mina and Dahyun stood out of the way, laughing together at the other girls’ antics.
“This is nice,” Mina remarked. “Thanks for putting this together.”
“I’m glad you guys could come. I feel like we all needed a change of scenery.”
Nayeon ran further out into the water, Sana chasing her.
“Nayeon does a lot for the energy of the group,” Dahyun observed. “Do you ever get tired, though?”
Mina smiled fondly at the two playing girls. “No, she’s not like this when we’re alone. She’s a bit quieter, believe it or not.”
Dahyun chuckled. “I’ll take your word for it.”
Eventually, Dahyun swam out to where Sana was treading water, Nayeon returning to shore to coax Mina into the water.
“You enjoying the water?” Dahyun asked. The lake was still shallow enough to stand in the water, so she stood there, watching Sana try her best to keep herself afloat, pushing off the bottom of the lake when she had trouble.
“Yeah,” Sana said. “Look at all the trees.” The two girls swiveled their heads around, taking in the endless trees that surrounded the lake. “It’s so peaceful here. And it feels so good to be in the water. It’s kind of healing.” Sana stopped treading water and stood. “I’m really glad we came here. I wasn’t sure about it, to be honest, but I’m really glad we came.”
“Me, too,” Dahyun said. She circled her arms around Sana’s waist, pulling her close. “Did you know you’re the most beautiful girl in the world?” she whispered.
“Dahyunnie,” Sana said, blushing as she spoke.
“What? It’s true. You just have to accept it.” She peppered Sana’s face with kisses, making the other girl laugh. Her laughter echoed off the water, off the trees, up to the sky among the clouds. And, hearing her laughter, Dahyun felt, for the first time in a while, that things might soon be okay.
After staying in the water for some time, then having dinner, the girls found themselves around a little campfire Sana had started using her summer camp knowledge. Much to Nayeon’s delight, Mina had packed the necessary ingredients for smores, so they sat on logs around the fire roasting marshmallows.
“I love the crackle of the fire,” Sana said.
“I still can’t believe you knew how to start a fire,” Nayeon said.
“Hey, I did learn some things at camp!” Sana pouted, making Nayeon laugh. “Without me, you wouldn’t have your precious smores.”
“You’re right,” Nayeon conceded. “Thanks for remembering your summer camp skills.”
Dahyun took her roasted marshmallow and squished it between a square of chocolate and two graham crackers.
“Mmm, that looks delicious, baby,” Sana said. She made her own, blowing on it a bit to cool it down.
Nayeon, unfortunately, bit right into hers, shrieking when it burned her mouth. Mina handed her a bottle of water, as if she expected this to happen.
“This is the perfect night,” Mina said.
“With the perfect people,” Nayeon added as the fire crackled, its little sparks trailing up into the air.
Dahyun smiled as she watched Sana’s face, warm and glowing from the fire. Her girlfriend was actually smiling, laughing, enjoying her time with their friends. For Dahyun, that alone made the trip entirely worth it.
Later that night, tucked in bed, Dahyun held Sana close.
“Are you tired?” Dahyun asked, running her hand up and down Sana’s back.
“Yeah,” Sana said sleepily. “A good kind of tired.” She settled into Dahyun more. “Are you?”
“I am,” Dahyun said. “But I’m also really happy.” She kissed the crown of Sana’s head. “I’m happy to be here with you. I love you, honey.”
“I love you, too,” Sana said. Dahyun could tell she was about to drift off.
She held Sana close, and shut her eyes, a genuine smile on her lips for the first time in a long time.