Chapter Text
“We’re taking the offer.”
The train ride home was quiet, with the car being unusually empty. Goro mindlessly holds onto the hanging strap above him as he stands and waits for his stop. It had only been a few moments since his talk with Kurusu. A talk… how foolish, Goro thinks to himself. It had only been a few moments since his fate was sealed. Still, there is still tomorrow to confront Maruki. Albeit, Goro lacks the manpower and support necessary to deal with him. Stupid and impulsive. Yet, with a fate doomed from the start he has nothing to lose. Goro cannot let himself get so affected, not until tomorrow.
A hand reaches up to unlock the door to the apartment complex. Goro opts to take the stairs rather than the elevator tonight, feeling weirdly motivated. Stopping at his apartment door, Goro’s fingers graze the doorknob. He stands frozen at his doorway for a few moments, the only movement is a slight tremor of his hands. Then the tremor reaches to his shoulders, then to the rest of his body. He’s laughing. The laughter increasingly becomes more hysterical and unnerving. The type of laughter Goro would let out as he carelessly slashed through shadows in the Metaverse. Hands come flying to his mouth, his upper body hunches over the entrance of his home. Fuck. I’m losing it.
Slowly, Goro lets his body fall to the ground and onto his knees. The seemingly uncontrollable laughter slowly ceases and morphs into something else. Tears prick at the corner of his eyes. His breathing becomes labored, lungs working at full capacity as if the air supply is limited. The hands that were previously on his mouth move to grip handfuls of hair instead. The tears threatening seep out from his eyes are now free-falling, pouring down his face like turbulent streams. Giggles bubble out from his lips and laughter begins to pick up again.
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“There’s nothing left I can say. Our deal’s off.”
The scene plays over and over and over in Akira’s head. The image of Akechi’s back as he turns and leaves Leblanc is burnt at the back of his eyelids, like a stubborn and unremovable stain. I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t take the offer tomorrow. He’s laying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling of the attic. He had told Mona that he needed some space after Maruki’s visit earlier. Thoughts continue to pervade his mind, each one adding heavy weight and putting pressure on his head and heart. Akira feels a headache forming. He takes a deep breath in and silently accepts his sleepless night.
Minutes, maybe hours pass, and Akira dreads to reach for his phone to check the time. He dreads closing his eyes and is fearful of what he might see, what he might dream. Despite himself, Akira turns his body to reach towards his phone. The bright screen assaults his eyes and the time shows 11:20. It’s still February 2nd. At some point he made a promise to himself: in the morning, he will confront Maruki with everybody and put an end to this false reality.
Everybody? Including Akechi? After what you said to him tonight?
Akira lets out a huff through his nose and feels a wave of guilt come over him. I’m so pathetic. He moves his body to lay flat on his back, returning to his original position. Akira lets his arm and phone fall to his side, his hand laying limply next to him. Deep inside, Akira understands Akechi’s wishes. Being controlled and manipulated his whole life, just to be thrown into another reality where his circumstances are the same is suffocating. Unfortunately, Akechi’s freedom is only attainable in death. So what is Akira to do? How can anybody expect him to reply to Maruki’s deal after knowing Akechi’s fate? Akechi, a boy who was set up by a higher being to oppose Akira, who attempted to kill in pursuit of a personal vengeance. A boy who risked his life and gave up his ultimate goal of revenge to save him and his team. This boy, despite everything they’ve both gone through, considers him his equal and his rival. And yet, Akira threw this all away when he uttered those words and betrayed Akechi’s wishes. But what about his own wishes? After everything, after playing that god’s stupid game, Akira has to be the noble hero. The chosen one to pick the right choice. To preserve the true reality.
The more time Akira spends awake, the more weight he feels in his heart. The headache from earlier transformed into an uncomfortable, almost painful pounding against his temples. It’s no use to continue to think. Tomorrow, he will face Maruki.
Letting out a shaky breath, Akira whispers to no one and nothing in particular, “I wish that I didn’t have to do this. I wish Akechi would be okay, that we could be okay.” In his heart, Akira knows that a reality where everything is perfectly fine is not right nor is it real. Though with these words being spoken aloud, Akira feels some weight leave his mind and closes his eyes.