Chapter Text
There were hands at his back. At his front, too. Come to think of it, there didn’t seem to be any area of his skin not covered by equally-warm, taut skin. Raleigh shifted through the early-morning haze, rubbed one eye lazily, and froze.
Chuck Hansen was wrapped around his middle.
Chuck…
Shit.
The memory of last night slammed into him, effectively ending any lingering gratification he felt from last night’s… session. With Chuck. Chasing vehemently after that was the insistent guilt at having lied to the kid about their friendship and at the truth he was still actively choosing to hide, as Mako so nicely reminded him.
Mako. She was gonna kill him.
Hell, he should kill himself first for making such a shitty decision. Chuck deserved so much more; he’d been nothing but a good friend. And here Raleigh was, taking advantage of the situation he’d been dealt. Taking advantage of Chuck’s friendship. Fuck, taking advantage of Chuck, honestly.
Fuck. He was practically hyperventilating at this point. Carefully, so as not to wake the kid, Raleigh extracted his limbs and rolled to the floor. Good call staying here, clearly. It wasn’t as though he could just sneak back to his own bunk.
Sneak. Like the slippery bastard he so clearly was.
Raleigh rubbed his face and quickly dressed. Thinking was so not his strong suit; he needed time to think through this. Judging by how soundly (and adorably, he thought absentmindedly) Chuck was snoring, he’d have a few hours to get his shit together and decided what to do before the kid was finally awake.
He made it out without the bunk door alerting anyone to his presence. The jaeger bay, that’s usually where he went to think. He started down the hallway–
–and as he turned a corner, promptly ran smack into Mako.
No, no, no, no no-no-no-no-no–
“Hello, Raleigh.”
“I’m–” He pointed feebly over his shoulder in the direction he’d been heading and edged that way. “Sorry, gotta take care of this. Rain check?” Wincing internally, because rain check, you idiot?, Raleigh hurried down the hall to escape. Because if the tingling at the side of his neck was any indication, Chuck had left what were going to be a few spectacular hickeys that he hadn’t even thought to cover up. And he wasn’t quite ready to die by Mako’s hand yet today.
Before long, he was settled on top of the catwalk overlooking the jaeger bay, feeling as though he could finally breathe for the first time that day.
He couldn’t believe himself; twice, now, he was gonna fuck up a friendship with Chuck. True, the kid had seemed to want what happened. Hell, Chuck had been the one to initiate whatever had happened between them last night. But Raleigh had no idea exactly what the kid was expecting here. Was he wanting a relationship? Was that why Chuck had been trying so hard over the past week to limit his outbursts, to try to keep him around long enough to progress the friendship they had into something else? Or was this just a quick-and-dirty, scratch the itch kind-of thing?
Hmm. He was surprised to feel sort of gaping disappointment at the second option. Thinking about Chuck just using him to get off in that way kinda stung. Bitterly.
Shit. When did he develop feelings for Chuck Fucking Hansen?
Sure, he’d always thought the kid to be handsome, even at the age when he was more gawky than someone to gawk at. Now, though, Raleigh could see all of his predictions about the teenage Chuck were right; he’d filled out, that chest and back broadening into something you could definitely hold onto (and he knew that for sure now). And those hardened-but-lovely blueish-greenish eyes under long, ginger lashes hadn’t lost their steel, nor their intelligence.
When had he become the type of person to notice someone’s fucking lashes? He swore he could distantly hear Yancy’s laugh in the Drift at how gay he sounded now.
Fuck off, Yance.
This was serious.
Okay, so maybe he’d developed feelings for the insufferable, adorable shit-head Chuck had become. That wasn’t anything too startling. And judging by how much Chuck seemed to enjoy having him around, that feeling being reciprocated wasn’t too abstract an idea.
But the fact that he hadn’t been honest with Chuck from the start – that was surely going to throw a wrench into things. A big, jaeger-sized wrench that might be enough to tear whatever this was between them – and, shit, even their friendship – apart. Raleigh twisted nervously. That was far from the last thing he wanted, but…
Screw this. Chuck had been right before. He ran after Knifehead, ran after his problems came to haunt him and although he still held that it was justified, that no one could immediately come back from something like that, Chuck was right. Problems wouldn’t go away simply because they were ignored. Mako was right, too. Chuck deserved much better than being manipulated, and the last thing Raleigh wanted was for Chuck to feel that way.
He needed to tell Chuck before anyone else did.
For the first time in days, Raleigh felt like he finally had what he was going to say worked out in his head. He hoped Chuck would be in a listening, forgiving mood, that he would have enough time to say all he needed to say once Chuck was awake and part of the living again.
He should have hoped for so much more.
Raleigh pushed the door open quietly and froze once he turned to face his room.
Chuck was already awake, dressed and seated at his desk chair. The bedhead would have been adorable if it wasn’t sitting above the threatening scowl he hadn’t seen in weeks. His arms were crossed, a dangerous sign. “Fancy you coming back.”
“I–”
The kid steamrolled through the sentence that was forming, pre-meditated or not. “You know, if you’re were gonna fuck-and-run, you shoulda done it somewhere other than your own bunk, you fuckstick. Imagine my bloody surprise to wake up and find you’d flown the coop. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised; you were always a fucking runner. I dunno why I expected to be different to you. Have a good fucking day washing your sheets, Ray.”
Everything he’d been told from others, everything he’d remembered from Chuck before, and everything he’d learned the past few weeks all told him to stop, to let the kid go when he was this worked up and angry because it was a fool’s errand to try, but shit, the way the kid made him feel was close to feeling like a fool, right?
Chuck made to push past him. Raleigh reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back from the door and further back into the room. Those changeable blue-green eyes widened before narrowing into another hazardous glare. He anticipated the first punch Chuck threw his way, blocking the effort easily, but the right-hook caught him off guard, sending his senses reeling momentarily.
“Jesus, kid – will you just stop for one fucking second so I can talk!?” Raleigh rubbed his jaw ruefully, even though he probably deserved it, a snide voice in his head supplied.
“No! I’m done listening to your fucking dumb voice, done watching you and your stupid hair. I’m done pretending your stupid fucking looks mean anything other than–” Chuck paused, his eyes wide.
Shit, the kid was in just as deep as he was. The thought strengthened him, and before he could think about it, the words were all out. “I ran because I lied, Chuck. I didn’t think I deserved a chance at this, at any of this, so I lied to you. That day all those years ago, the day you won the date with me – I promised you I’d stay in touch, that we’d be friends, and I never did. And I lied; yeah, Knifehead sucked and I wasn’t myself for a long time after that, but the truth is, I was afraid of letting anyone in. I had your number and I didn’t call because I was afraid to let you be my friend. And then I met you again here, and fuck, you grew into everything I thought you would, and you absolutely hated me. I couldn’t even remember why until you yelled at me and then detonated that fucking bomb, and I thought I lost everything again. And then you came back and I had a shot at apologizing but then…”
Raleigh trailed off, taking the time to rub his eyes before delving back in. “Then Herc said you had memory loss, and I… I took advantage of that like an asshole. I figured if you didn’t remember hating me, or why you hated me, it was like a fresh start. We could be friends, and letting you in felt so good. And then last night happened, and fuck, if I didn’t feel like an asshole enough already. If I’d told you from the start, if I hadn’t manipulated you, then last night probably wouldn’t have happened. So yeah, I freaked out when I woke up and ran off. But only because I was afraid again. And fuck, I didn’t even deserve any of this to begin with–”
Chuck rushed forward again. Raleigh tensed, ready for the jerk to push past him for the door again, and this time he wouldn’t stop him; he could hardly blame the kid for storming off in a huff, knowing now that Raleigh had been lying to him this whole time. Hell, if Chuck didn’t throw another punch, he’d punch himself.
So he just stood still, gripped in shock, as Chuck barreled into him, grasping his face with strong, sure hands before planting a kiss on his lips.
“I…” Raleigh was absolutely incoherent when Chuck pulled away, breathless. “Wha…?”
“You absolute, bloody fucking drongo.”
Raleigh tilted his head. “Come again?”
“I knew.”
He didn’t blame himself for the double-take. “You wha…?”
The kid chuckled, a low sound that Raleigh felt vibrating through his own chest. “I knew, mate. I don’t know what Dad did or did not tell you about my brain, but… That date, I definitely remember. I got to meet one of my idols; what part of that wouldn’t stick in my mind as a major memory?”
Raleigh frowned, his brain struggling to catch up to wherever it was Chuck was leading. “Then why…?”
“How was I supposed to know you didn’t know I knew?” Chuck shrugged. “Your fucking face going into Pitfall, mate. Couldn’t get it out of my mind. Pretty sure Pentacost was shaking his head at me the entire Drift.” He chuckled again. “Yeah, I was a right bloody prick, but I was pissed. Gave up on the whole friend thing after our bullshit but… Then I lived. I came out of it and I saw you in medical, and you looked so… hopeful. Even after I’d been so cranky to you, you looked like you were glad to see me again. I figured, if anyone could get me to believe in friendship again, it was you. So when you didn’t say anything more about the date, I thought you knew I already knew everything about it. And then we became friends and it just…” Chuck blushed, the lovely pink reaching down his chest. “Brought out some old feelings I’d been holding on to, I guess.”
“Wait just a fucking minute.”
Chuck frowned as Raleigh gripped his sides tightly and demanded, “I’ve been worrying over nothing this whole time? You mean to tell me we could have been having ridiculously mind-blowing sex from residual teenage hero worship this entire time?”
The kid released his grip and groaned. “Fuck off, Ray. Clearly I’m not the only one holding onto some old feelings.” More seriously, he added, “Besides, you’ve seen me and my old man communicate. You really think we were gonna be any better?”
“I think we can do better.” Raleigh pressed a soft kiss to Chuck’s lips. “After all, friends always find some way to communicate the important things.”
“Just friends?” Chuck glanced down shyly.
The earnest was back again. Raleigh grinned, grateful that he could admit just how adorable he truly found it. “Well, I think whatever this is, it’s gonna take some time and some good communication to figure out.”
Chuck grinned, flashing the dimples Raleigh had come to love so much. “Well, good thing I ended up getting the rest of my life to figure that out.”
“Absolutely good thing.” Raleigh tipped them back toward his bed. They had all the time in the world to talk through the past few weeks, but right now, he wanted to keep to his years-old promise of figuring out exactly how far that lovely blush could spread.
And if Mako spent all day looking for him, stopping only when she heard the unmistakable sounds of both men coming from Raleigh’s bunk across the way, she found she couldn’t be mad. It seemed Raleigh had finally gotten over what was holding him back, and Chuck had been just as perceptive as she’d thought.
She’d have to thank Hercules for taking her advice and telling Raleigh of the amnesia in the first place.