Chapter Text
The next Reigen awoke, he was surprised to find that not much had changed. He was still lying in bed, pressed to the mattress by the weight of Serizawa’s heavy limbs tangled around him. His memory was clearer (why the hell had he insisted on Serizawa sharing the bed with him???? He couldn’t really regret it, but it was mortifying nonetheless…) and the space under the covers was becoming unpleasantly warm as the morning wore on.
It seemed his plan to let Serizawa take the lead this morning might have failed. Reigen couldn’t help but drum the fingers of his right hand against his left forearm, desperate to release some of his jitters - restless from so long spent laying down.
Abruptly, he realized his leg was bouncing as well, shaking the entire bed with the movement. He forced himself still, holding his breath as he strained to listen to Serizawa behind him. It sounded like Serizawa’s breathing was still slow and even, somehow he’d managed to avoid waking the esper.
… too even, actually. He’d heard the esper sleep before, stolen naps on trains and the occasional overnight job. He usually tended to have a very slight snore. Was Serizawa faking being asleep too?
This was ridiculous, they were both adults here.
“Serizawa… you’re awake, aren’t you?” Reigen asked the air in front of him, keeping his voice even to avoid broadcasting his nerves.
The hand curled around his hip twitched, and he reached out to grab it just as it pulled away. He wasn’t really sure why, but it felt like some long-buried part of him was screaming at him to not lose the connection, now that he finally had it. The hand halted, hovering awkwardly in Reigen’s grasp - neither returning to its place on his hip nor insisting on giving space.
“Ha… yeah, s-sorry. How, um, how are you feeling this morning?” Serizawa asked.
“Better. A lot better, I assume, though I don’t really remember that much about how I felt yesterday.”
“O-oh. Um… how much of yesterday do you remember?” Serizawa tugged lightly, trying to free his hand. Not hard enough for Reigen to think he was serious about it though, so he didn’t bother to let go. After a couple seconds, the tugging stopped.
“Enough to worry if I’ve ruined your opinion of me,” Reigen huffed. “I know I made a fool of myself at the office. You took my temperature and convinced me to come to your place. I took a nap, you fed me soup and medicine, and then I made a fool of myself some more.”
Reigen could practically feel the frown Serizawa sent his way. It was a very familiar frown, which tended to make an appearance whenever the blond said something self-depreciating.
“You didn’t make a fool of yourself, you were sick. No one would- …well. No one sensible or kind would think badly of you for not being your normal self.”
Reigen hummed uncertainly, but wasn’t really sure what to say in response. So he just didn’t. The room was quiet for a long moment, Serizawa’s arm lowering, resting his hand clasped in Reigen’s.
Eventually, Serizawa spoke up again. “Do you… uh-. You don’t seem, um, surprised that we’re in bed together.”
“I remember I asked you to sleep next to me last night, because being sick tends to make me lonely,” Reigen acknowledged. “I’m mostly just surprised that you’re still here this morning. That you didn’t leave once I fell asleep.”
“Of course I didn’t leave! You were upset, I didn’t want you to wake up and feel alone and upset again. I mean, I knew you might feel differently about it today. That you might not remember asking me to stay, or that you only asked because you were sick and didn’t want me here if you felt better. So I thought I’d, um, let you ‘wake up’ first. So y-you could d-decide how you felt about, ah,” the hand Reigen was holding waved vaguely between them, “all of this.”
“That was basically my plan too. Which is why I went back to sleep when I woke up earlier this morning,” Reigen admitted. He couldn’t help but be glad he wasn’t in a position to see Serizawa at the moment, though it was likely the esper could still see the way Reigen’s ears were heating up. “I thought you might have only given in and stayed with me because I was sick, and maybe you would want to leave before I woke up. To keep me from getting any ‘ideas’.”
Things were quiet for a moment, and then he heard a snort, followed by a helpless sort of giggle from behind him, as the hand in his finally resettled on his hip, splayed and heavy and warm. For a wild moment, he wished the heat of it would sear him, leave a mark to remember the occasion by, in case it never happened again.
“We’re two peas in a pod, huh?” Serizawa mused, when he’d finally stopped laughing. “You must not have been too upset to wake up like this, then, if you wanted to let me be the one to leave first.”
“Kinda hard to be upset when I woke up so well rested. You’re pretty comfy, big guy.” Reigen drawled. He dropped his hand to rest on top of Serizawa’s, lacing his fingers between the epser’s larger digits. “Not sure why you’d be worried about my reaction though ‘Tsuya, considering some of the stuff I remember saying yesterday. I’m, uh, hoping ‘all this’ means you weren’t… horrified to hear it, or something?”
“You didn’t say anything that would have upset me. You were pretty sick, though, you said a lot of things that might not have been entirely true. Things that I might have misunderstood, or you might have meant differently than you said.” Serizawa hedged, his index and middle fingers starting up and unsteady beat and Reigen’s hip. “Like the part where you were apparently doing cartwheels while sitting at your desk.”
“Mmm… I was pretty out of it. I’ve never been able to do a handstand much less a cartwheel, and I’m usually much better at not thinking about things that I’m trying to keep secret.” Reigen’s fingers started an accompanying beat, balancing the unsteady rhythm into something even and measured. “Thank you for taking care of me while I was sick, by the way. I don’t think I actually said that yet.”
“I was happy to help. I like taking care of you, for all that you don’t usually give me the chance,” Serizawa sighed. “And you still haven’t answered the question.”
(Serizawa’s fingers paused, then started up a new, faster beat. Something about it itched at the back of Reigen’s brain, and he quickly adjusted - learning and picking up the new rhythm until he was matching Serizawa beat for beat. Not that Reigen really noticed - he was focused on the conversation, his fingers moving in subconscious reaction to Serizawa.)
Reigen shook his head. “Not much of a friend if I’m constantly making you take care of me. I’ve had a boss like that, and it sucked, I don’t want to do that to you. And you haven’t asked a question.”
“There’s a difference between ordering me around like I’m a servant, and letting me help you as your friend when you’re sick or injured,” Serizawa reminded. “I got ordered around plenty while I worked at Claw, I know what that sounds and feels like. You’ve certainly never done that. But you also tend to not let me act as your friend when it puts you in a vulnerable position. I was starting to worry… I dunno. That you were only acting friendly out of pity or something.”
Serizawa didn’t bring up the unspoken question again. Was he letting it drop? Why did that make Reigen feel worse?
“Pfft, trust me, I’m not kind enough to be friendly with someone out of pity. If I didn’t genuinely want to hang out with you, I wouldn’t.”
(The beat shifted again. Reigen adapted to it even faster this time, subconsciously relaxing into the slower tempo)
“You offered a known-terrorist a job at your company the same day that your student blew up the criminal organization said-terrorist belonged to,” Serizawa pointed out. “Forgive me if I don’t think it’s crazy you might act friendly to someone just because you didn’t dislike them.”
“Hey, even back then I could tell there was something special about you. I didn’t offer jobs to any of your old buddies, did I? Even though that Shamizuki-”
“-Shimazaki,” Serizawa corrected.
“-guy could teleport,” Reigen continued, “which would cut down on travel costs like crazy - I would never have offered him a job.”
“Didn’t he flee the scene as soon as he lost? He wasn’t even around for the end.”
“Doesn’t! Matter! Even if he had stayed for the whole thing, and was standing next to you when I found you after! I would have offered you a job, and not him.” Reigen insisted, kicking his foot until it connected with Serizawa’s shin, causing him to hiss in pain. “I woulda been a real dick about it too, probably. Really rubbed his face in the fact that I wasn’t gonna offer him anything.”
Reigen felt movement behind him. The hand on his hip dislodged, slipping around his waist while warmth and weight pressed against the back of his head. Warm breath on the back of his neck made him shiver as Serizawa murmured, “He wouldn’t have cared. But I would have been incredibly pleased with myself. And probably pretty embarrassed at being so pleased.”
The hand around his waist tightened, until his back met Serizawa’s chest.
“How do you always seem to understand me so well?” Serizawa mused, “Sometimes it feels like you understand me more than I understand myself. Always a step ahead of me, ready to support me when I stumble.” Serizawa hummed, one of his long legs moving to hook around Reigen’s calf, further caging him in place. “But despite that, you never seem to notice how I feel about you. You’re always so worried about being a burden, a pest, a problem to avoid that you won’t let me close enough to cherish you.”
Reigen swallowed hard, thoughts suddenly syrupy-thick. He felt like his face was on fire, but he was also more comfortable than he could remember having been for a hell of a long time.
The moment hung in limbo for a long crystalline moment, until Serizawa abruptly pulled back, “S-sorry. Was that too much? I’m too close, aren’t I? W-we haven’t even discussed things really, and here I am p-practically f-f-feeling y-you up !” the warm line of him disappeared from Reigen’s back. Reigen reached out again to grab his hands before they could flee, tucked them close between the flat of his palms and the soft of his stomach.
(In the back of his mind, Reigen wondered why he hadn’t done so before. So many times, he’d wanted to reach out and grab Serizawa’s hand. Tug him along to dinner after work. Ask him to stay the night after a day spent goofing off. Hug him close after a too-dangerous job, to feel for himself that Serizawa was safe and warm and alive .)
“N-No!” Reigen’s voice came out much louder and higher pitched than he intended, and he cleared his throat in the hopes of fixing it. “N-no, you’re fine. Great even! I-I just- uh. Was surprised. Or, um.. Startled? No, that has the wrong connotation. Charmed? No, that sounds weird too… you know what, I don’t know what the word would be, so let’s just say it was a mixture of ‘surprised’, ‘happy’, and ‘comfortable’. And we can move on rather than listening to me ramble.”
“I like listening to you ramble.” Serizawa curled close again behind him, though there was still a new sliver of space between them that wasn’t there before.
Well… it was a good time for being brave, Reigen supposed. He was supposed to be the people-person here, he couldn’t leave all the hard work to Serizawa.
He squirmed in place, rolling over until he was chest to chest with Serizawa, wrapping his arms around the esper’s ribs. He ducked his head low, pressing his forehead to Serizawa’s chest - feeling the th-thump th-thump th-thump of the man’s too-fast heartbeat - rather than trying to look him in the eye. He was trying to be brave, but that was a tall order even for him.
Serizawa’s hands settled at the small of his back, making him feel just a bit more steady. It was crazy how right this felt to him. They’d never done this before. He hadn’t shared a bed (platonically or otherwise) with anyone in years.
They were both quiet for a moment, before Serizawa spoke up. “I’m not… really sure what to say. Where to start. Usually you talk circles around me, so it feels weird for there to be something you don’t talk about. Did you mean what you said yesterday? About how you felt about me?”
Reigen opened his mouth, but closed it again with a click, uncertain despite himself. He… thought he knew how Serizawa felt, but the man hadn’t actually said anything, one way or another. What if Reigen confessed, laid it all out, put everything on the line. And then Serizawa said ‘good to know, sorry I’m not interested’?
The chances of that happening were small. Small enough to not risk losing out on having something with Serizawa. With Katsuya. And he knew he’d lose Katsuya if he didn’t speak. Knew the man would take it as a rejection when it wasn’t.
But that small chance was still large enough to choke him. Anxiety clogged his throat and stuck his tongue to the roof of his mouth.
“... it’s ok if you didn’t. Or if you meant it differently to how it sounded. I promise, I won’t be upset. I just wanna know for sure. A proper yes or no, so I don’t-”
“I really like you!” Reigen blurted out, interrupting. The words came out like tar, from the effort they took to say. It nearly hurt, but a good, healing kind of pain. Like pulling a thorn from your hand. Like Serizawa said, this way he’d know for sure. “I r-really really like you. R-romantically, and all that jazz.”
“Y-yeah?” Reigen imagined he could feel Serizawa’s smile, from where his mouth was pressed into the top of Reigen’s head. “I really like you too. Romantically.”
Reigen couldn’t help but breath a tiny sigh of relief. “Great! We’re on the same page then! …what do we do about it?”
“I’m pretty sure the normal thing to do would be to go out on a date.” Serizawa suggested.
“Doesn’t that feel… unethical though? I mean, I’m your boss. That’s a pretty major power imbalance.”
“‘Taka, the company is the two of us and a few part-timers who are children. It might as well be a family business.”
Reigen made an embarrassing ‘eep’ noise, digging his forehead firmly into Serizawa’s chest. “Don’t say it like that! You make us sound like a married couple, and we haven’t even gone on a date yet!”
“‘Yet’?” Serizawa repeated with a chuckle. “Does that mean you’re agreeing to go on a date with me, then?”
“I-” Reigen paused, really considering it. He supposed it was now or never. Say yes or forever hold your peace. “… yeah. If you’re sure you’re ok with it, then yes. I don’t think I could force myself to let go of you now anyway, unless you decided you didn’t want me. I’m rather hopelessly enamored with you.”
The hands around his back tightened briefly, before one slipped away. Before he had a chance to worry, it had reappeared as a pressure against his chin, tilting his face up. He met Serizawa’s eyes for the first time that morning.
“Would it be ok if I kissed you?” Serizawa asked.
“At this point I think I’ll be devastated if you don’t.”
Serizawa leaned forward, their mouths met. The kiss wasn’t anything mind blowing, inexperienced and uncertain as they both were. But it felt good. Felt right . Like something Reigen would never regret, even if it all went wrong in the end.
One kiss turned to two, turned to six, turned to too many to count. By the time they finally stopped to breathe, Reigen’s head was spinning, dizzy with happiness. Somehow they’d moved while kissing, Serizawa now lying flat on his back, with Reigen on top of him, legs straddling Serizawa’s thighs.
“I really hope I didn’t just give you my cold,” Reigen heard himself say.
“It’ll have been worth it if you did. I’ve been wanting to do that for ages. I just never thought I stood a chance.”
“You stand every chance. All of the chances. More chances than I thought existed in the universe.” Ok, now Reigen was just rambling like an idiot. Did his last brain cells die of asphyxiation while they were kissing?
“I dunno what I did to get so lucky… it almost makes me nervous. Like the world could realize I don’t deserve it, and steal it away from me.”
“Well, if the world tries to steal me from you, you’ll just have to fight to get me back. And if the world tries to steal you from me, I’ll do the same,” Reigen suggested. “Deal?”
“Sounds like exactly our kind of crazy,” Serizawa said with a laugh. “It’s a deal.”
And they sealed it with a kiss.
Eventually, they did have to get up for the day. Reigen’s fever was officially gone, but he hadn’t eaten much the previous day so his stomach certainly wasn’t happy with him.
The apartment’s heater was working overtime trying to keep the place warm, but it was clearly struggling. So they huddled together in the kitchenette, working together to make a simple breakfast of eggs, rice, and the last of the leftover zosui.
Serizawa spent the morning finishing his homework and typing notes for the previous night’s video lecture while Reigen goofed off on Mobtube.
Near lunchtime, Reigen closed the laptop he’d borrowed from Serizawa, propping his chin on his hand as he watched the esper write, eyes intent on the video playing on his phone. Reigen couldn’t hear anything from the lecture - clearly Serizawa’s headphones were much better quality than Reigen’s.
He zoned out, enjoying watching Serizawa’s focus, until he happened to look up, meeting Reigen’s eyes with a smile.
“Everything ok? You look like you’re about to fall asleep.”
“Mmm… just enjoying watching you. You’re handsome when you’re focused. I mean, you’re handsome even when you’re not focused, but there’s a specific kind of… intensity that you get. Usually when you’re doing schoolwork or exorcisms.”
“You think I’m handsome?” Serizawa asked, preening a little.
“Obviously. Anyone with eyes can see that. Haven’t you noticed how many of our customers fawn over you?”
“I guess? But I don’t care what the customers think, I care about what you think. And you think I’m handsome?”
Reigen sighed, a fond smile blooming across his face. “I think you’re handsome and adorable and positively delightful. Also, I think it’s time for lunch. Anything in particular you’d like to eat?”
Serizawa dropped his face into his hands, though it didn’t quite manage to hide the way he turned a vibrant red at the compliments.
Reigen waited a moment, but the esper didn’t answer the question, too busy making tiny ‘eep’s and quietly pleased ‘agh’s.
“Eh, I’ll just see what’s in your fridge then. Just let me know if there’s anything in particular you do or don’t want,” Reigen eventually decided.
“Sounds good,” came Serizawa’s muffled agreement.
Reigen opened the fridge, examining the contents. Cut-up chicken in the fridge, probably from Serizawa making the zosui. Eggs, veggies, dashi. Presumably there was rice in the pantry?
“How does katsudon sound?” Reigen asked, checking which veggies looked fresh and which looked a bit wilted.
“Oh, that sounds good! I think I’ve got some cooking sake in there, if you wanna use it?”
“Hmm? Oh, over here… nice! You work on finishing your notes, and hopefully I’ll have lunch ready by the time you’re done.”
Reigen took his time making the lunch, wanting to make it nicer than the food that he normally made himself. He liked to consider himself a pretty good cook, but he knew he often had difficulty focusing, and often skipped steps in recipes or had parts of the meal get overcooked. He didn’t want that to happen now, when this was a meal intended for Katsuya.
Admittedly, with all of his attention on cooking, he did somewhat lose track of time. Thus, he was a bit startled when warm, firm arms slid around his waist, hugging him from behind.
“Mmm… that smells good, ‘Taka. Is it almost ready?”
“E-eh? You’re done already?”
“Yeah, it’s been almost an hour since you started cooking.”
“Oh!” He lifted the lid of the skillet, pouring some beaten eggs over the rest of the dish, then put the lid back down. “Well, ah, good thing this is almost done. Just gotta wait for the eggs to set, then sprinkle the toppings on and plate it.”
Finishing the food was a little tricky, with Katsuya curled around him. But Reigen had no intention of asking him to move. There was something delightfully domestic about the moment.
All too soon the food was ready, and Reigen paused, a bowl of katsudon in each hand as he waited for Serizawa to let go so they could sit at the table and eat. Instead, he was surprised when the esper dragged him to the couch, two pairs of chopsticks trailing after them in midair.
The two made themselves comfortable on the couch, something quiet playing on the tv as they ate.
“Ah, it’s snowing again,” Serizawa noted, watching out the front window as large heavy flakes floated down.
Reigen leaned against his shoulder, taking another bite as he watched the snow. “Yeah. It’s pretty, but it’s probably gonna take ages to melt… I’m glad I’m here, rather than at my place or the office.”
“I guess you’d normally be stuck by yourself during a storm like this, huh?”
“Yes, which tends to suck. But even more so than being glad I’m not alone, I’m glad specifically that I’m with you.”