Chapter Text
Chan hadn’t felt this afraid even when it came to their debut. He’d been nervous, and highly anticipated the end of their debut showcase, but not afraid. Even when Minho and Felix were eliminated on their survival show, Chan hadn’t felt afraid.
This was worse than any of those times before. As he stood in front of the door to the Ateez dorm, Chan felt more afraid and nervous than ever before. And he swallowed thickly when the door was opened to reveal Wooyoung’s glaring face. Chan wanted to hide behind Minho and Hyunjin, but it wasn’t their fault he was in this mess and it wasn’t fair to them. None of this was fair to his pack.
“The next time you make my best friend cry I won’t hesitate to tear you apart with my teeth.” Chan was certain his face lost its color but Felix laughed as he pushed past Chan and walked directly into the older Omega’s arms. Felix pushed Wooyoung back far enough they could enter the dorm and take their shoes off comfortably.
“You laugh, Lixie, but Youngie is serious. And none of us would stop him.” If there was anyone Chan was truly afraid of in the Ateez pack it was definitely Hongjoong, and as the Pack Omega sat on the couch with Yunho and San on either side of him, Chan was reminded of how scary the man could be. The expression on his face was even harder and more feral than Wooyoung’s.
“No, we’d help him. Wouldn’t we hyung?” Mingi wasn’t someone Chan had ever really been afraid of before but the feral grin on his lips as he glanced over at Hongjoong before turning back to Chan and Wooyoung was terrifying. Chan didn’t even need to look to know that Hongjoong was agreeing. Chan’s fear was only heightened when he saw the equally vicious looks on the two Alphas next to Hongjoong and the Beta sitting on the other side of Seonghwa. Seonghwa cleared his throat, gathering all attention on himself but Chan could see that he was clearly amused.
“Changbin’s in Youngie and Sangie’s room with Jongho. Youngie will take you there.” Chan swallowed nervously as he nodded and turned to follow the Omega. Minho followed, as was agreed on when they set this up. Seonghwa had informed him that Changbin had requested their talk to take place at the Ateez dorm, with at least two members of the Ateez pack of his choosing there with him and Minho as well.
Jongho and Changbin were talking when the three entered the room. They looked relaxed with Jongho stretched out on one bed and Changbin on the other. Silently, Wooyoung made his way over to the bed where Changbin was laying and laid next to him. Chan had to keep himself from bristling when the Omega wrapped his arms around Changbin’s shoulders. He had no right to be territorial, not until they were all sure that Changbin would come home with them.
“Hi Binnie.” Changbin had paused his conversation with Jongho when they walked in and was watching them carefully. Guarded. Like Chan would attack at any moment. Chan supposed that was probably what it felt like to Changbin. He let Minho get settled in Wooyoung’s desk chair and as soon as all eyes were on him, Chan got on his knees in a deep bow. He heard a gasp, but didn’t lift his head from the floor to see who it was.
“I’m sorry for being such a terrible Alpha to you, Changbin. There’s a lot I should have done differently, and a lot I shouldn’t have done at all, and I’m sorry I made you feel so horrible. I let my emotions dictate how I responded to you and I’m sorry.” It was quiet for a moment, as if the occupants were waiting for more. There was so much more Chan wanted to say – sorry for driving the younger Alpha away, sorry for not listening to him or their packmates, sorry for letting his inner Alpha take control of him, sorry for just generally being a terrible Pack Alpha. How much he missed the younger Alpha and the easy atmosphere they used to have in the dorm, how much he wanted him home. It had been torture not to have him there, knowing he was the reason Changbin didn’t feel comfortable. But the words didn’t seem right. This wasn’t about what he wanted. It was about how Changbin felt.
“And?” Wooyoung was still angry. Chan could hear it in his voice. “Are you willing to hear him out now?”
“Yes.” Chan had prepared himself to hear all about how upset Changbin was with him and how his actions led them to this situation. He was prepared for the guilt and to beg for forgiveness that Changbin had every right not to give.
“Why did you ignore me?” Chan wasn’t prepared for the crack in Changbin’s heartbroken voice. He was sure if he looked up there would be tears falling from his packmate’s eyes.
“I-” Every reason Chan could say didn’t seem like a good enough reason to have caused all the damage he did. He was angry, yes, but he knew better – he’d seen how Woojin ignoring the pack had made everyone feel even before they were officially a pack. Chan had promised them all that he would never do that to them. He broke that promise. It boiled down to the fact that he didn’t really know why. “You leaving the nest made me so angry and I don’t even know why.”
“That’s a shitty reason.” Chan agreed. Minho had told him so when he woke up the morning after their talk with Hongjoong.
“Woo-” Jongho sighed as he tried to rein the Omega in. Chan shook his head, still with his forehead pressed against the floor.
“I know it is. I wish I could say there was something else but I couldn’t think straight. I wouldn’t let anyone talk sense into me and I’m sorry.” Chan hoped his scent showed them how sorry he truly was. Despite his reservations, Chan let his packmates convince him not to wear a scent blocker. They’d told him all about their last visit to the Ateez dorm and how unhappy Changbin was with them wearing scent blockers.
“You broke your promise.” Chan flinched. A part of him – the stupid part of his brain – had hoped that his packmates had forgotten about that but of course they hadn’t. Felix had brought it up to him the first night he had actually slept in their room with Chan again. Tears were building in his eyes, but Chan willed them away. Now wasn’t the time to cry.
“I did.” He couldn’t deny it even if he wanted to. And he wasn’t sure he was willing to test Wooyoung’s threat to rip him apart.
“You’re stupid, Alpha.” Chan flinched again but felt the hope in his chest start to build. If Changbin was referring to him as Alpha, then maybe there was still a chance he would want to come home to them.
“I’m the biggest idiot. I don’t deserve you or any of our packmates.” There was a soft growl from the side of him, indicating how upset Minho was at those words. His packmates had never been particularly okay with his self-depreciation.
“Don’t say such stupid things, you dumb Alpha. If you didn’t deserve us, we wouldn’t even be in this situation.” When did Changbin get so wise? Chan wasn’t sure, but he definitely felt more stupid for not realizing it. “If you didn’t, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at all.”
Chan didn’t say anything in response. The tears in his eyes were becoming too much for him to ignore. Rustling cloth filled the silence but Chan dared not move. Not until he felt an arm circling his neck and his head was gently lifted until his nose was buried in the crook of Changbin’s neck.
“I forgive you, hyung.” Chan let the tears out as he held onto Changbin. The younger Alpha let him cry until he was able to calm himself down.
No matter how happy he was, he knew that Wooyoung was still mad at him. That was proven true when the Omega kicked him out of the room when he finished crying. Chan didn’t argue. Instead, he followed Wooyoung’s instructions and went to the living room. By the time he entered the room, Seonghwa and Hongjoong were already walking past him towards the room he just came out of. He tried not to be offended when he saw them enter the room. Really, he was grateful to the two for taking such good care of his packmate, but he still felt offended.
“Don’t be offended. Their goal is to make sure Changbin is okay. He was really worried about how your conversation would go.” Yeosang seemed to not hate Chan as much as the rest of the Ateez pack did. Or maybe he just hid it better. That was probably it.
Changbin may have forgiven him, but he knew he still had a lot to do in order to get the Ateez pack as a whole to forgive him. Especially Wooyoung and Hongjoong. Probably Seonghwa as well. Judging by the look San was throwing his way as he sat down next to Jisung, he probably was just as angry.
It was tense for the next fifteen minutes or so. Or maybe that was just Chan. Felix and Jisung seemed perfectly content talking to San, and Mingi had pulled Hyunjin up onto the couch with him and Yeosang. He didn’t even know the tall Omega was so close to the Alpha. Yunho was entertaining his Betas with a story that Chan couldn’t even keep up with. Seonghwa walked into the room just as Chan’s nerves were getting the better of him. He knew better than to trust the smile on the Alpha’s face.
“Let’s talk Chan.” Yep, Chan was definitely going to get another tongue lashing. He deserved it. He stood and followed Seonghwa down the hall to a different room. Seonghwa let him into the room first and moved to sit on the chair Seonghwa pointed him to.
“I know what you’re going to say.” Seonghwa frowned as he stepped further into the room and shut the door behind him. This was a conversation that was between them, Pack Alpha to Pack Alpha. Even though he knew that both Hongjoong and Minho had wanted to be there as well.
“Do you? Because I don’t think you understand the damage you’ve done.” Chan flinched. Hongjoong, Wooyoung, and Minho had certainly had their words with Chan already – Minho had multiple conversations with him on this topic. But Seonghwa didn’t think Chan fully understood what he had done.
“You’re going to threaten me, yell at me for how stupid I’ve been, then threaten me some more.” Seonghwa almost laughed. That was exactly what his Omegas had done. From what he understood, Hongjoong had been clear in how unhappy he was with the Alpha and he had heard Wooyoung threaten bodily harm should he upset his friend again. Minho probably did something similar.
“No, I’m sure you’ve gotten enough of that. But I don’t think anyone has told you just how close you came to losing a packmate over your mistake.” Chan looked up at him with tears already in his eyes, confirming that Chan likely hadn’t been told what Changbin had said. He took a seat on Hongjoong’s bed, facing Chan.
“I’m not saying this to upset you or punish you more. You’ve had enough of that, I believe. But I do think you need to know what the near consequences were. Changbin didn’t feel safe with you, and still doesn’t. He’s accepted your apology, and he’s offered you forgiveness but there’s no trust between you two anymore.” Seonghwa paused to give Chan a moment to process the information. He could see the guilt eating the Alpha up and wished he could say something to make it better but there was nothing he could say, nothing that would make the situation disappear. Chan had to deal with his guilt on his own.
“The first night Changbin stayed with us he said he didn’t want to go home. By the end of the week, he wasn’t even sure if he would have a place in your pack anymore. Not letting anyone come to see him was your third mistake. Your first was not giving your pup a chance to explain himself and the second was ignoring him instead of talking it out. He’s a good pup. He’s a good Alpha. And by letting your own feelings cloud your judgement, you destroyed all trust he had in you.” For a moment, Seonghwa debated on whether he should mention how worried Changbin was for the rest of the group, afraid of what Chan was doing to them the longer they were forced apart. Then he decided that Chan needed to know everything, so he could see the full picture.
“Keeping the pack away from him, isolating him like that was detrimental. He worried that something was wrong every minute he was awake. At the same time, he wondered if they even wanted him back, if you wanted him back. No matter how much we tried to convince him that he was still part of your pack, he had almost given up on coming home at all.” Seonghwa was definitely glad that Changbin had been able to see his packmates and was getting bombarded with cuddles but it had been hard watching him stress over his place in his own pack.
“I’m glad he’s forgiven you and I’m glad you aren’t pushing him out of the pack. Just know that should you or anyone else in the pack ever make him feel like he doesn’t belong there, Wooyoung and San will be quick to snatch him up. I was near ready to put my mark on his neck, over yours. And I won’t have a problem doing so if something like this ever happens again. You don’t know how close you were to losing him, in your pack and your group.” The idea of losing his pup seemed to be enough for Chan to let the tears go. It broke Seonghwa’s heart, really it did. Chan was his friend, as were the rest of the Stray Kids pack. That was why he had felt the need to show Chan how close he came to losing Changbin.
“He’s not ready to come home, is he?” Seonghwa shook his head. He and Changbin had talked about him returning home at length before the Stray Kids pack had arrived. And again after Chan and Changbin’s conversation. A selfish part of him was thankful that Changbin wanted to stay with them instead of going home.
“He still needs time. You need to build that trust back up, but it’s not going to happen as quickly as you want. For now, he’ll return to schedules. Our manager has agreed to drive him to JYPE and back to our dorm until he feels ready to come home. He may not be my pup but so long as he’s staying with us, he’s under my care and his wellbeing and mental health are my main priority. If I find out that anything happened between him and your pack that makes him feel unsafe again, you will be hard pressed to convince me not to mark him.” So maybe Seonghwa had lied about not threatening Chan more, but could anyone blame him? Here was an Alpha that had messed up so badly that his own pup was afraid to go home, asking for forgiveness when Seonghwa was ready to add to his own pack.
“I understand.” And Seonghwa believed him. It may have taken some time, but Chan did eventually admit to his mistakes and apologize. He has no doubt this has been a hard week for him as well. Satisfied, Seonghwa stood to return to his pups. Chan stopped him before he was able to open the door. “Seonghwa, thank you for taking such good care of him. I’m glad he had you and your pack.”
Seonghwa smiled and opened the door. “He’s a sweet pup. I won’t say it was easy to take care of him but I would do it all again. He fits in well with my pups. Now let’s go join them before Changbin starts to worry that I’ve killed you.”
It was a joke, mostly, but Chan’s face paled at the thought. Seonghwa let out a small laugh at his fear. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t kill you in the dorm. That’s too much of a mess to clean up.”
And as Chan left with his pack later that night, without Changbin but with the promise to see him the next day, Chan knew they’d be alright. They weren’t, yet, but eventually, with time and a lot of effort on his part, they would be alright. Changbin would come home to them.