Chapter Text
Asahi thought avoiding Jaehyuk all the way through would help, but some say distance makes the heart grow fonder. He's in love with Jaehyuk and the acknowledgement came together with a painful feeling.
Why does it always come in pairs? Love and pain are like inseparable twins, never one without the other.
He thought he would be fine after moving out but he ends up longing for Jaehyuk more after their last encounter. Crazy as it seems because he was the one who pushed Jae away. But when he found one of Jaehyuk's hoodies in his stuff he burst out crying.
He loved Jaehyuk but he was so afraid of taking risks again. He's afraid of people using him again for entertainment like what his exes did. He's so afraid of falling in love with someone who's going to leave later on.
Asahi is one hell of a coward. And for him it's better to be a coward than allow himself to be used again.
Asahi looked around the room, it felt so empty, cold and dull. He's used to having a room of his own but it's the first time he felt this way. Jaehyuk was a ray of sunshine, he was the one putting colors in Asahi's dull black and white life.
He dismissed the sad thoughts and decided to go out and have coffee. It may elevate his mood.
Two blocks away from the uni is a hidden gem that Asahi found when he was looking for a space to study. It was a cafe hidden behind a bookstore. The establishment was decorated with a Victorian style interior and Asahi enjoys this place because only few people come by here.
But today must've been a bad day because he saw Jaehyuk near the counter arguing with the girl who visited him at the dorm once. What was the name again? Ah. Amber.
So Amber was trying to cling to Jaehyuk and the latter was trying to avoid her. Jaehyuk looks so done and honestly needs some help.
When Jaehyuk turned and was about to leave, he saw Asahi already looking at him. Asahi should've left the moment he saw Jaehyuk but he was glued to his spot.
Maybe he thought Jaehyuk was a hallucination or maybe he wants to confirm something in order to fully move on from this guy. Maybe he wants to see Jaehyuk happy with someone else so that he wouldn't regret turning him down.
But when Jaehyuk saw him, a spark lit up in his eyes and gave Asahi a smile.
What dafuq was that? Asahi thought because his heart skipped a beat because of that.
"Amber, can you stop?? I told you I'm dating someone else!" Jaehyuk says to the woman
See? He's already dating someone else. Asahi tells himself.
"No you're not! You're lying! You love me!" Amber was already making a scene. Good thing there isn't anyone else aside from the staff.
"I do have a boyfriend" Amber was shocked with the term 'boyfriend' then Jaehyuk looked at him again, now lovingly and apologetically "And he's here"
Jaehyuk walks towards him, snakes his arms around Asahi's waist and kisses him in front of the fuming bitch.
Amber was dumbfounded that his ex kissed A MAN in front of her. She walks out in annoyance and disappears.
Jaehyuk let's go of him and Asahi was pulled back to reality because of the claps from the cafe staff.
What the actual fuck happened?? He effing kissed me in front of everyone??
In a split second, Asahi couldn't help but raise his hand and was about to punch Jaehyuk but stopped midway. Instead he pulled Jaehyuk to a kiss.
Just like the first time.
When Asahi pulled out from the kiss, like a finished puzzle, he made up his mind.
"Just returning the favor. Come with me" He drags Jaehyuk out and leads him back to their old dorm.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
What was the thought process Asahi went through to come up with the decision to go back to their old dorm room. The room was a mess and it reeked of Jaehyuk's sweet vanilla scent. Asahi looked around and remembered the place holds so much memory.
"Uhmm… sahi, about what happened, I'm sorry. I just need Amber to stop bugging me" Jaehyuk spoke first because the silence was deafening after they arrived in their dorm. They were seated on their old beds facing each other.
So I got used again? Wow
"So.. you just used me? If somebody else was there, would you kiss them too?" Asahi needs answers, he needs closure to his feelings.
"What? No! I would rather walk out than kiss a random stranger."Jaehyuk explains
"But I am a random stranger" Asahi replies and it pinches Jaehyuk's heart a bit.
"To me you are not, you're Asahi, my old roommate, my friend—" Jaehyuk explains again, he felt Asahi needed to hear this.
"Roommate…" Asahi cuts him off
"And the person that I love" Jaehyuk stood up and sat beside Asahi.
"If you think I'm taking advantage of you, well no. You can punch me if you want because I kissed you with consent or hate me for it but my love for you is not going to change" Jaehyuk held his hand, Asahi allows him.
Asahi should've been angry and should've pushed Jaehyuk away. He shouldn't be here back in their old dorm but here he is, listening to what Jaehyuk has to say, allowing the man to touch him again. He even kissed Jaehyuk back today. He looked at the older and saw the sincerity in his eyes.
"Aren't you tired of me? I already rejected you but why are you still here confessing again?" Asahi asked genuinely
"One rejection won't put me down Asahi" Jaehyuk replies
"But you stopped looking for me?" Asahi has many questions today
"I only gave you space, because you needed it. I don't want to hover much thinking you might push me away more but that doesn't mean I'm not looking out for you" Jaehyuk smiles "Why do you think I found that cafe? Today I was there to just watch you have your coffee and study just like some other days but Amber saw me and followed me there"
"How did you know I'm gonna be there?"
"I don't. I was just hoping you would come by again and you did"
Asahi felt silent after. He's not really a man of words and he's out of it today. His mind is in complete chaos but he has to say something. Jaehyuk is never going to give him up, that's for sure.
Is it okay to jump into the cliff of uncertainty now? Will Jaehyuk catch me? Will Jaehyuk stay with me? He’s not going to leave me right? Asahi’s thoughts are getting louder, shutting out his reality.
"Sahi?" Jaehyuk's voice wakes him from the trance.
"Jae… I've been thinking. I know I've been hard on you the past few weeks." Asahi squeezes Jaehyuk's hand "I…… I like you too… But.. But I have a lot of issues that I need to fix. I can't drag you down with it, with me. I just…. I don’t know if allowing you in my life is going to do me good." Asahi stutters, he's really not good with this but there's no denying at this point. He's here already. He can't avoid Jaehyuk forever anyway and might as well spill the beans now.
"Jaehyuk…. I’m afraid that……. at one point you’re going to leave me too." Asahi’s letting his heart do the talking now.
“Too?” Jaehyuk has questions but he’s not going to open some of Asahi’s wounds now. He’ll let Asahi unload it all when he’s ready. “Asahi, I don’t know what happened with your past relationships but please believe me that I’m not one of them. I’m not like them.”
Jaehyuk knows his words are not going to make Asahi believe so he speaks again.
“Allow me to show that to you. Let me show you my sincerity”
“Okay” Asahi smiled, he knows Jaehyuk is different from the others. All Asahi wanted was to see and feel that he is not like them.
Jaehyuk was delighted to hear Asahi finally letting him in this time. He was so happy that he cupped the little man’s face and kissed him but Asahi stopped him.
“But first, no kissing. You’re not allowed to kiss me until I say so. You’re not my boyfriend yet.” Asahi is back to his sassy self.
“Okay, but can I at least get a hug?” Jaehyuk opens his arms and Asahi hugs him.
“Will you move back in?” Jaehyuk tucks Asahi’s hair behind his ears, a force of habit.
“No, it’s better we’re living separately.” Asahi knows he’s weak for Jaehyuk and he might give in immediately if he moves back.
“Why? Or you might punch and kiss me again whenever you’re angry?” Jaehyuk teases him and he replies with a light slap on his shoulders.
“Excuse me? I don’t punch and kiss you when I’m angry!” Asahi defends himself.
“Oh really? You were about to punch in the cafe earlier but you kissed me! And remember that YOU were actually the first one to kiss me.” Jaehyuk is having fun seeing Asahi getting flustered. His ears are getting red and a light blush is showing on his cheeks.
“You know what? Nevermind, I take back everything I said. I forgot you’re the most annoying person ever” Asahi stood up and was about to leave out of embarrassment because what Jaehyuk said was true, he’s just in denial.
“Baby wait, I’m just joking” Jaehyuk pulls him to the bed and hugs him.
Baby??? Fuck you Jaehyuk for sending tremors to my heart
“You’re lucky I like you” Asahi laughs.
“I’m lucky you like me and I love you” Jaehyuk whispers and hides on the crook of Asahi’s neck
And I love you too.
˗ˋˏ ♡ END ♡ ˎˊ˗