Chapter Text
The next week was hell. So was the one after that. Seeing Harry around HQ, dressed in his suits again, seeming as cool and calm as ever killed Eggsy. It made his nerves rock on edge, threatening to tip over, but thankfully, Harry didn’t say a word to him. The relationship between them held the air of a frozen iceberg, and everyone seemed to know better than to mention it. Merlin seemed to be the only one who could get them to talk to one another at briefings, not taking an ounce of their shit. Roxy held her tongue, but Eggsy could see the careful glances in his direction.
It was the third week when Harry actually managed to corner him. Eggsy had been so careful to avoid being alone anywhere near him, but a few days shut up in his office with prep work for Roxy’s long-term mission coming up meant overnighters were unfortunately necessary. He woke up to a cup of coffee being set down on his desk.
Looking up, he groaned. Harry loomed over him, holding his own mug of tea.
“Fuck off Harry.” Eggsy mumbled, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes.
“That’s no way to talk to your new boss.” Harry said with a knowing smirk. It looked a little wobbly, like the slightest word would make it fall from his face. Harry looked like he was hurting and trying to hide it. Eggsy ignored his natural instinct to comfort and reassure and maybe track down the arsehole who made Harry look like that and teach them a lesson about being callous with Harry’s heart. He swallowed past the lump in his throat caused by the knowledge that he was that arsehole and snorted derisively instead. It came out a little more sniffly than mocking, but Eggsy hadn’t started tearing up like the last fifty times Harry had tried to corner him, so he was gonna count this as a win.
“So they finally made you Arthur. Right, well, I don’t give a flying fuck, so if you’d kindly fuck off, boss.” Eggsy said, turning back to the papers of blueprints on his desk, routes half plotted on them. He desperately tried to ignore Harry, whose sad sigh tucked at Eggsy’s heart. It wasn’t fair, how much of an effect Harry still had on Eggsy, even after everything. Maybe if he started humming obnoxiously Harry would leave him alone.
No such luck. “Eggsy, you must know how much I wanted to tell you. You’re a part of Kingsman now, you know how important secrecy is. And as for later…” he trailed off before continuing, softer and more hesitant. “At first, there was no way to contact you. The chaos of a quarter of world’s population dying didn’t leave a lot of infrastructure intact. And I was hardly in any shape to pick up a phone.” he finished ruefully.
Eggsy was well aware of this. He had seen the records Merlin had managed to find of Harry’s hospitalization. He knew how small a chance there had been of full recovery. It was a miracle that Harry had recovered at all, let alone so much. Eggsy just wished it had happened soon enough to save his shattered heart.
“And after?” Eggsy asked against his better judgement. “When you were better? When you came back and didn’t even call me?”
Harry straightened his cuffs, a nervous habit. After finding out about Kingsman, Eggsy had thought it might have been a deliberately crafted affectation, something to solidify the cover of innocent tailor. It was perversely reassuring to see that it was real.
“I wanted to speak to you in person. See you face to face. I thought it might help...mitigate any fall out.”
Eggsy snorted. “Well, you did a piss poor job of that.”
Harry huffed a bitter laugh. “I’m well aware.”
A pregnant silence fell, words left unsaid on both sides. Finally, Harry broke it. “Eggsy, I just wanted to ask if there’s anything I can do...anything at all…”
“Listen, Harry, I gave ya your money an’ deeds and shit back because I didn’t want anything to do with you. You don’t own me, and you don’t owe me shit, so what I’d like for you to do is fuck off.” Eggsy said, malice in his voice. Harry stared down at him, and Eggsy could see his grip on his mug tighten, his lips pursed.
“I want to be with you, Eggsy.” He sounded so sad, so honest, and Eggsy had to steel himself against it, knowing how hard that kind of honesty was for Harry. Little late now, though.
“Then make it up to me like a normal human bein’, ya wanker! Stop sending flowers and takeout to the house and buying Daisy presents!” Eggsy shouted, standing up from his chair, throwing his arms in the air. “And stop acting jealous of me and Roxy! She’s important to me, and yeah, I live with her because I need her and she needs me, but I sure as fuck ain’t sleepin’ with a lesbian. Yeah, she’s out. Dating some princess. Woulda known that if you’d bothered to fuckin’ check in at all.”
Harry seemed speechless, looking at the tea in his hand, eyes downcast. Eggsy gave a small huff and walked away, leaving Harry and his stupid coffee behind him.
--
Week four was something out of a horror movie. When he’d received the call, he’d been pulling files for Roxy’s mission the next day, doing prep. It’d popped on his glasses, a call from his mother, which was unusual in itself; she always preferred to text. Leaning back in his office chair, he took the call and just heard a small scream and a clattering sound. Then Daisy’s piercing cry echoing in his ears.
“You fuckin’ bitch!”
Dean. The voice was instantly recognizable.
Eggsy’s blood went cold.
“Mum, I’m comin’, help’s comin’, I’ll be right there, just hold on.” Looking at her location in his feed, Eggsy hung up and dialed 999 immediately as he sprinted from his office, throwing the door open and blowing past someone he didn’t get to even look at, papers flying everywhere. He didn’t bother to look back.
He managed to make it to downtown London in ten minutes, which seemed like a lifetime, taking the tube from HQ to the downtown shop, and when he’d finally gotten to the house, two police cars and an ambulance were already there, lights flashing. It was a jolting image, seeing the home he loved dearly being invaded by the man who’d made his life hell, who he thought he’d escaped months ago when he’d finally had the bravery to do so.
“Mum?! Mum!” Eggsy called out when he spotted his mother, back turned to him, talking with an officer in the doorway. A police officer tried to hold him back, but his mother looked up and Eggsy felt his heart break. She was holding Daisy, who appeared fine save for the tears running down her tiny face, but his mother was sporting a fresh black eye and he could see her hands bandaged.
“Eggsy!” She called out, hurrying to him. The officer let Eggsy go and he rushed to them, taking them up in his arms. He kissed their faces, looking down at Daisy with a smile.
“Oh Daze, you alright princess? You’re alright, you’re tough. Mum, are you okay?” He asked gently, looking at them and taking Daisy from his mother’s shaking hands. “What happened?”
“I just...Oh Eggsy, I just opened the door and he was there and he’d been drinking…” Michelle said. Eggsy held Daisy with one arm, her tiny arms wrapping around his neck, and touched his mother’s hair with his free one.
“Mum, ‘salright, yeah? You’re fine.” Eggsy said, placing another kiss on her forehead, his heart still beating like a drum. He’d been terrified. Absolutely terrified of losing his mother to that man, of losing Daisy.
“Yeah, I’m alright. He ran away before the feds got here.” Michelle said. Eggsy sighed, but nodded.
“‘Salright, mum. Go on, give the officer your statement. I’ll take care o’ Daze.” Eggsy said, giving her a reassuring look. His mother wiped the tears from under her eyes, wincing slightly as she touched her newly bruised one, but put on a brave face. Eggsy always admired her for that--no matter how tough it was, she always got through it, always had a brave face for her kids.
“Do I look alright then?” She asked, taking a shuddering breath. Eggsy laughed.
“As alright as you gonna look with that shiner.” Eggsy teased. Michelle smacked him playfully before going back to the officer she’d been chatting with.
“Eggsyyyyy.” Daisy whined in his ear.
“Yeah! Daze! Whats up, Princess?” He asked, holding her back to see her face. She looked less frightened now, and Eggsy wiped the few tears she had left away from her cheeks. She looked over his shoulder, and her expression brightened immediately.
“Harry!”
Eggsy sighed before he turned around, knowing exactly which Harry in all of London gave Daisy that excited look.
“Eggsy, is everything alright?” Harry asked, looking slightly disheveled as if he’d been running, his usually perfect hair brushing over his eyepatch. “You ran out of the office after dialing Emergency…”
Eggsy looked up at him with pursed lips, but the words he could normally say to him were held for later, when he’d be away from Daisy.
“Nothing. We’re fine.” Eggsy muttered.
“Harry!” Daisy shouted right in Eggsy’s ear. Harry’s eyes went to her, smiling almost instinctively it seemed, and Eggsy rolled his eyes, ignoring his fluttering heart and looking at Daisy.
“Two minutes with Harry, Daisy. Two minutes, thats all.” Eggsy said firmly.
“Two!” She parrotted and reached for Harry. Harry took her from him, holding her in his arms and smiling at her.
“And how is Princess Daisy?” He asked kindly. Eggsy tried not to look at them, fond memories being brought back of Harry napping with her and playing with her while he cooked. Homey memories he’d rather forget.
“Very good. Are you a pirate?” She asked, touching his eyepatch. It was slightly embarrassing, having Daisy point it out, but Harry seemed to handle it with grace.
“Why, yes. I even went on a ship recently.” He said. She seemed satisfied with the answer and went back to playing with his tie, pulling it from being neatly tucked into his suit.
“Eggsy, is everything alright? Can I do anything?” Harry asked quietly, looking concerned.
Eggsy studied him a moment, and almost broke then and there. He wanted this back. He wanted a stable relationship for Daisy. He wanted to be happy that Harry was back. He wanted to function as a couple, no more secrets between them. Harry looked magnificent, on top of it all. His motor skills were seeming to improve every day (Eggsy refused to feel guilty about hacking his medical files), and he wore suits as cut as ever. The goddamn eyepatch, frustratingly, just seemed to add a sense of mystery to him.
“No. Dean just fucked us over again. He ran off, but we’re fine. Come on, Daisy.” He said as coolly as possible. Daisy whined, but went back to Eggsy with relative ease.
“Bye Harry!” Daisy said, waving at him. Harry gave her a small wave and a sad smile.
“I’ll be back to the shop soon.” Eggsy said. Harry shook his head.
“No, Eggsy, take the rest of the day at least. Anything pressing can wait. Your family is more important.” he said, looking at Eggsy with soft eyes. Eggsy hesitated, and then nodded, given him the best smile he could under the circumstances. Harry seemed to take this as encouragement to continue. “When you’re done, we can discuss putting you all up in a safe house for the time being, or moving you more permanently into a better location.” He hesitated for a moment. “You deserve to feel safe in your own home, Eggsy.”
It felt like his throat was closing. He knew that intellectually, had known as soon as it started that Dean was wrong to treat them the way he did. It was just the first time anyone had ever said it to his face. He hadn’t realized he needed it until now.
“Thanks, Harry.” he managed to choke out. Harry smiled back at him, his hand twitching as if restraining himself from reaching out. Eggsy paused, then moved closer. He went on his toes, placing a quick kiss on Harry’s cheek before stepping back, losing his nerve. Eggsy snuck a look at his face before hurriedly looking away. He felt like he wasn’t allowed to look at Harry when he looked so shattered.
Harry didn’t say anything, just stood there in silence, leaving Eggsy to rejoin his mother, feeling like he left his heart standing with Harry yet again.
-----
The rest of the day was hellish. The cops finally left after what seemed like hours. Eggsy and his mum quickly packed a few bags, neither of them feeling like staying in a place of destroyed sanctity. Roxy showed up just as they were finished, wrapping Eggsy in a tight hug without a word before packing her own bag. The Kingsman cab waited on the curb outside to take them to a temporary safe house until they decided what their next step would be.
They settled in the new house quickly enough, although the new surroundings did nothing for their collective frazzled nerves. Eggsy’s mum took a very long shower and he could tell from her red eyes that she had been crying. Roxy shook with a barely suppressed rage and Eggsy knew that it was only her iron self control that kept her in the house rather than out looking for Dean. Eggsy couldn’t help but be grateful for it, that she was here with them. His heart rebelliously wished that Harry was there too, no matter how awkward it would have been.
He didn’t know where they stood with each other now. Eggsy could feel that he was on the way to forgiving him, letting his transgressions slip away into the past. He could understand why Harry hadn’t told him, about both the I’m-actually-James-Bond-nice-to-meet-you and the surprise-not-actually-dead secrets. He didn’t think that he would have been able to make the same decisions if their positions had been reversed, but that wasn’t really the point was it? They were different people and could make different choices and that was alright. Harry was just an overgrown baby and always made the absolute worst decision possible, but Eggsy had kinda always suspected that he was a bit of a mess. After all, he did decide that the proper response to thievery was to hire said thief.
Eggsy’s thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his mobile. He glanced at the caller ID before picking up. “Hey Jamal.”
“Eggsy man, you alright?” Jamal sounded incredibly worried and Eggsy felt a rush of fondness.
“Yeah bruv, we’re fine. Just a run in with a dickhead, that’s all.” Eggsy snorted. “Story of my life.”
Jamal huffed a laugh. “Yeah, no shit. Listen, I don’t know if you heard yet, but I’m pretty sure you don’t have to worry ‘bout Dean no more.”
Eggsy frowned. “What d’you mean?”
Jamal sighed. “I mean that Ryan was at the Black Prince and saw ‘im being put in an ambulance. Said the feds were there too, talking to some posh git.” He hesitated and Eggsy felt his stomach fall in the silence. “Said that the poncy bastard kinda looked like your man.”
------
Harry opened his house door with a polite smile, which widened into something more real at the sight of Eggsy.
“Eggsy, what a pleasant surprise. Please -” and he was cut off when Eggsy shoved him in the chest and into the house, kicking the door closed behind them. “Eggsy -”
Eggsy cut him off. “The fuck did you do?”
Harry looked at him warily. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”
Eggsy snorted bitterly. “Really? So you know nothin’ about Dean endin’ up in custody after getting the shit beat out of him, apparently by some “posh git”? Or about a restraining order against him in mum’s name, even though we never fucking got one? You know dick-all ‘bout that, yeah? Cuz it’s a fucking mystery to me.”
Harry tightened his jaw, his eyes on the floor. He said nothing for moment, then sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “I thought you might be pleased.”
Eggsy flung his hands in the air, needing some kind of outlet for the rage swirling inside him. “Pleased? The fuck would I fucking be pleased for?!” He took a breath in an effort to calm himself. It didn’t work. “You don’t own me, Harry! You don’t run me life! You lost any right to it when you lied to me for fucking months!”
“That’s why I did this!” The words seemed to burst out of Harry. “You told me to prove I care for you and so I did.” His angry expression crumpled into confusion. “I don’t understand, Eggsy. Didn’t you want Dean out of your life?”
“That weren’t your choice to make! This is our life, me and mum and Daisy, you don’t get to decide how it’s run! You do that, you’re no better’n Dean.”
A thunderous frown descended over Harry’s brow. “Don’t you dare compare me to that man. I’m not trying to control you, I was simply doing something that I should have done when I met you, that someone should have done years ago. I’m only sorry I didn’t do it sooner.”
Eggsy was already shaking his head. “That ain’t your choice, Harry. It’s me and mum’s, and neither of us asked you to be our knight in shining armour.”
Harry threw his hands in the air. “What do you want from me, Eggsy? You ask me to show you that I care, so I attempt to provide for your family, and apparently I fucked that up too. So why don’t you just tell me what you want because I will do anything you ask of me. What can I do to fix this?”
His exhausted tone seemed to cut through the rage induced fog colouring his vision and Eggsy finally noticed that Harry was standing with his back to the wall, exits through the door and a window in clear view. His knees were slightly bent, feet shoulder-width apart, fingers slightly curled. He looked like a cornered animal, preparing to snap at the hand about to deal a blow. Eggsy recognized that stance, that tension, the need to escape. He knew it intimately from living with Dean. Dean, who Harry had practically hospitalized the night before in some demented act of devotion, like a cat bringing home a dead mouse to show affection.
Eggsy approached Harry slowly, noting how he forced himself to not tense up at Eggsy’s increasing proximity. He looked up at Harry for second, read the true misery in his eyes, before gently grasping Harry’s hands with his own. He laid a gentle kiss on Harry’s fingers and felt a pang in his chest at Harry’s poorly stifled gasp.
“This ain’t what I meant. I just - I wanted something normal and steady with you, or as normal as we could get. Y’know, dates like we did, watching movies, meeting my mum. No more lying and fighting and not talking to each other. I -” Eggsy felt his throat tighten and pressed his face into Harry’s palm, holding his hand to his face. “I just wanna do whatever people in love do.”
Harry’s fingers tightened on his face. He rubbed his thumb over Eggsy’s burning cheek and coaxed him to look up. Harry’s eyes were the softest he had seen them, staring deeply into Eggsy’s for a moment. Then he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Eggsy’s. Eggsy let him eyes flutter closed, focussing on the feeling of Harry’s closeness after so long being apart, after hating him and wanting him every time he saw him at HQ.
“Then how about this?” Harry’s voice was soft, brushing against Eggsy’s ears as delicately as his breath on Eggsy’s face. “I love you. More than I thought I was capable of loving anyone. I want you to be the last thing I see before I go to sleep, and the first thing I see when I wake the next morning. I want to kiss your lips everyday, make love to you every chance I get. I expect we’ll still have our problems and the occasional fight, but I want to work through them with you, knowing that regardless of anything else that you’re mine and I’m yours. I want to be beside you everyday for the rest of my life and realize each day how blessed I am to have met you.” Harry’s lips pressed a series of kisses down the side of Eggsy’s face, until they lingered next to his lips. “How does that sound, darling?”
Eggsy smiled, pressing his lips to Harry’s. “Sounds like a damn good start.”