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we go down together

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Namjoon doesn’t know what he expected when Jungkook asked to come over, but it wasn’t this.

It wasn’t Jungkook looking determined in front of him, his little face so serious, saying, “Hyung, teach me how to smoke.”

Namjoon just blinks, shaking the remnants of his nap out of his head. “What?”

Namjoon’s confusion seems to make Jungkook embarrassed, because then he looks less serious and goes kind of pink. “I…” He falters, but then shakes his head so small that Namjoon barely catches it, and clenches his fist. “I want you to teach me how to smoke.”

“Like, pot?” Namjoon asks, just to clarify. He was asleep for a while. He feels like he’s missed something.

Yes, like pot,” Jungkook grumbles, still blushing.

“What is this about, Kookie?” Namjoon asks. They’re still standing in the entryway of Namjoon’s apartment, because Jungkook wasted no time after closing the door behind him, and that suddenly strikes Namjoon as ridiculous. He walks over to the couch and takes a seat, beckoning Jungkook over; when Namjoon moved, he looked a little startled.

Jungkook sighs and follows him, folds in on himself when he sits down, and looks down at the floor. “Last week, you and the hyungs, you all did it.”

Namjoon remembers that. It was kind of late and they were kind of drunk and Hoseok had whined that it had been forever since he’d gotten high, and Namjoon usually does what Hoseok whines for him to do. Yoongi had joined in, because Yoongi usually does, and Taehyung and Jimin had both taken a couple experimental hits off of Namjoon’s bowl. Seokjin abstained, as he always does, with a wrinkle in his nose at the smell (“You’re still gonna go home with me, though,” Yoongi had rasped with a smirk, and the rest of them booed him loudly while Seokjin rolled his eyes, not arguing his point.) Jungkook had just sat in the same place he was sitting all night, looking at them a little wide-eyed but not outside of his usual range of expressions. Sometimes Jungkook just looked like that.

It wasn’t totally unusual. It happened sometimes, when they were all together and felt like it. Jungkook had seen it more than just last week, and Namjoon was surprised at Jungkook’s sudden urgency and purposefulness, surprised that he was coming to Namjoon.

“Yeah, we did?” Namjoon says to Jungkook. He says it kind of like a question, because he still doesn’t get Jungkook’s point. “You never smoke with us. I always figured you weren’t interested.”

“Well, maybe I am,” Jungkook says. It’s a little bit of a whine, a little petulant, and Namjoon smiles at it, the stubborn tone in his voice.

“Then why have you never asked before?” Namjoon asks him, amused at the way his cheeks are going pink again.

Jungkook looks back down at the floor. “I don’t know how to do it. I didn’t want to embarrass myself.”

Namjoon gets that, sort of. Everything he’s ever done is embarrassing, but Jungkook is maybe less used to publicly humiliating himself at every turn, and less willing to involve himself in it. “ asked me?”

“I know you won’t make fun of me, hyung.” Jungkook looks up at him, biting his lip, and god he looks young. Looks his own age, more like, and Namjoon feels...something. He’s known Jungkook for a few years now, since Jungkook’s first year in university, and he’s grown up from a shy and nervous-looking first year who hadn’t quite grown into his features into something else, something confident and handsome. Still, though. It’s hard to look at Jungkook and not see that kid, the cute endearing one who had trouble sustaining conversations with anyone except Jimin.

“Oh,” Namjoon says. It’s kind of a heavy thing, Jungkook’s gaze. “No, of course I won’t, Jungkookie.”

Jungkook looks relieved at that. “So will you?”

Namjoon considers. It’s four in the afternoon on a Saturday, and he has no real plans to speak of for the rest of the night. “Okay.”

There’s a pause, and Jungkook looks at him, and Namjoon blinks. “Right now?”

“I mean, I was thinking…” Jungkook trails off.

Namjoon chuckles. “Okay,” he says again, and stands up from the couch to fetch what’s left of his stash and the same glass bowl from the week before. Jungkook just looks at him, watching him as he turns his grinder and packs the bowl. It’s kind of weird, but Namjoon can’t say he minds particularly.

“So,” Namjoon says. He’s sitting cross-legged on his floor in front of his coffee table, bowl in one hand and lighter in the other. “Well. Yeah.”

Jungkook blinks his big eyes at Namjoon.

“I guess I’ll show you and then you can try?” Namjoon offers, unsure what Jungkook really wants here.

“Okay,” Jungkook agrees with a little nod. He scoots off of Namjoon’s couch and sits next to him on the floor and Namjoon feels twenty instead of twenty-four, too old for this shit, too old to be doing drugs on his floor in the middle of the day. He’s not complaining, exactly, but it’s just...weird.

“So you put the lighter here,” Namjoon says, gesturing to where the bowl is packed. “And your finger here, over this hole. And then you breathe in.” He follows his own directions, taking a hit and not missing the way Jungkook’s attention is rapt on him, like he’s going to need to take an exam on this later. Namjoon holds the smoke in for a second before blowing it out, and apparently hitting Jungkook in the face.

“Shit,” Namjoon mutters as Jungkook gives a short cough. “Sorry. That was rude.”

“It’s alright,” Jungkook says with a little smile. His teeth are cute. This is something Namjoon has thought about before, but thinks about more often when he’s slightly to moderately intoxicated, which he’s at the start of being.

“It’s not that hard, I promise,” Namjoon tells him after another hit. “You wanna try?”

Jungkook looks a little nervous, but he nods. He holds his hand out to take the bowl and looks like he doesn’t know how to juggle the bowl and the lighter at once. “Here,” Namjoon says with a smile, “I’ll light it for you. Breathe in while I do it, okay? And put your finger over — yeah,” he mutters, watching Jungkook cover the carb with his thumb. He inhales a little too hard, and then he coughs, bringing the bowl away from his mouth.

“You okay?” Namjoon asks, moving to rub at Jungkook’s back. He laughs quietly, and Jungkook looks offended.

“Don’t laugh,” he whines, pouting, coughing one last time.

“I’m not really laughing. It’s fine. It’s not a big deal,” Namjoon tells him. He’s trying to be comforting, so he keeps rubbing Jungkook’s back.

“Try again,” Namjoon says, bringing the lighter back up and waiting for Jungkook to do the same with the bowl. “Go slower.”

Jungkook does, breathing in slowly this time. His eyes slip closed for a second as he holds the smoke in his mouth.

“You gotta breathe it in all the way, don’t just keep it in your mouth,” Namjoon tells him quietly, and it looks like Jungkook is trying to do what Namjoon says. Then he breathes out, and the smoke billows around them.

“You did it!” Namjoon says with a smile, finally taking his hand off of Jungkook and giving him a little clap.

“I did it,” Jungkook repeats, looking satisfied. “Thanks, hyung.”

“No problem,” Namjoon tells him. “I’m always available to...corrupt youths, apparently.”

“I’m not a youth, I’m an adult,” Jungkook says, rolling his eyes.

“I know,” Namjoon grins. “You want to take another hit?”

Jungkook nods. “Let me try with the lighter this time.”

He adapts quickly, because he’s Jungkook, and he’s never met a challenge he couldn’t master in an absurdly short period of time. They sit like that for a while, passing the bowl back and forth, until eventually it’s spent, and Namjoon is tapping the ashes out into the trash.

“Y’want me to pack another one?” Namjoon asks. He’s been asking a lot of questions since Jungkook got here, he notices. It’s been an inquisitive day.

Jungkook blinks at him before nodding. “Yeah.”

“How are you feeling?”

Jungkook seems to consider the question. “Good. It feels good.”

Namjoon smiles easily, reaches out to pat Jungkook’s knee. “I’m glad.”

They’re pretty quiet, Jungkook asking Namjoon to put music on and Namjoon selecting a playlist he made months ago entitled “chill shit.”

“You listen to good music, hyung,” Jungkook tells him. As time’s gone on, they’ve ended up closer together so their arms don’t have to reach very far when they pass the bowl back and forth. Jungkook’s kind of curled up to him now, head leaning on his shoulder and his fingers playing with the string of Namjoon’s hoodie.

“Thank you, Jungkook-ah,” Namjoon says in a quiet voice, feeling weirdly flattered.

Another few minutes of quiet pass, and then Jungkook is saying in a soft little voice, “Joon-hyung.”

“Hm?” Namjoon mutters back to him, enjoying the feeling of his warmth so closeby. It’s nice to get high with someone like this. He hasn’t done it in a long time.

“What’s that thing.” Jungkook sounds kind of urgent, mostly curious. Namjoon doesn’t see him like this a lot, so unguarded and willing to say what’s on his mind.

“Kookie, you’re going to have to be more specific,” Namjoon says with a quiet laugh.

“I’ve seen you and Hoseok-hyung do it, like, with your mouths,” Jungkook says. “It’s like...kissing, sort of?” He kind of hesitates before he says kissing, which seems cute.

“Oh,” Namjoon finally replies. “That. It’s called shotgunning.”

“Oh, okay. That sounds familiar.” Jungkook doesn’t say anything else about it for a moment, just turns his face to rub against Namjoon’s sweatshirt. “Do you want to do that?”

Namjoon almost chokes. “With...with you?” He asks, feeling a little lost, like he was just trying to go for a swim but now he’s too far out and doesn’t know how he got here. He pulls back to look at Jungkook, who looks up at him sweetly.

“ do it with Hoseok-hyung sometimes, right?” Jungkook asks.

Namjoon doesn’t really know how to respond to that; he’s done a lot of things with Hoseok that he’s never done with Jungkook. “Yeah. I do.”

“So I thought…” Jungkook trails off. He looks nervous again, his cheeks going a little pink, and Namjoon panics at the thought of Jungkook being embarrassed because of him. He doesn’t want to embarrass Jungkook, not when he came to Namjoon so sweet and trusting.

“We can,” he says quickly, and Jungkook looks up at him, his expression hard to read. Then it shifts into something easier, a small little grin playing at his lips. Namjoon grabs for the bowl and the lighter back.

“Basically one person just inhales the smoke and then, kind of blows it into the other person’s mouth? I can, um. Do it.” Namjoon feels awkward, his hands are kind of sweaty, and he isn’t sure why. He’s really, really too old for this, but Jungkook is looking at him curious and eager and it’s...something.

“Okay,” Jungkook agrees easily. It all happens quickly; Jungkook stays close to Namjoon’s side, watching him inhale, and then Namjoon is leaning forward, meeting Jungkook halfway with their mouths open and the smoke passing warm between them. He backs up, his lips feeling tingly from Jungkook bumping into him a little too eagerly, and watches Jungkook exhale with his eyes closed. Something about it makes him feel warm in his stomach, and he shifts a little on the couch.

When Jungkook opens his eyes again, they’re half-lidded, and he licks his lips. “Cool,” he says in a breathy voice.

“Yeah,” Namjoon mutters back. His playlist is still going, all slow beats, and Jungkook is looking at him like that, and it’s all kind of feeling like a lot.

“Wanna do it again,” Jungkook tells him, moving forward again already.

Namjoon just nods, lighting the bowl again and breathing in deep, pulling Jungkook forward with a hand to his jaw. He breathes out, and Jungkook breathes in, one of his hands spread across the back of Namjoon’s neck and the other steady on Namjoon’s knee. It’s intimate. It feels warm and easy and good, god it feels good. He watches Jungkook breathe out again, but this time Jungkook’s looking right at him, gaze loaded.

“It is like kissing, isn’t it,” Jungkook muses quietly.

“Kind of,” Namjoon nods back at him.

Jungkook makes a thoughtful little humming noise before he settles back into Namjoon’s side, head tucked into his neck. They finish the bowl before long, and at some point Namjoon started running his hands through Jungkook’s hair just because. He doesn’t mean to get so touchy when he’s high, but. It just happens, more often than not. Jungkook doesn’t seem to mind, sighing into the touch every once in a while, one of his hands still resting solidly above Namjoon’s knee. His fingers start drawing patterns, and god is that distracting, especially when he gets to Namjoon’s inseam without seeming to realize, hand moving upwards a little bit.

“Kookie,” Namjoon mutters, fingers rubbing lightly at Jungkook’s scalp. “Your hand is…”

“Oh!” Jungkook says in a surprised voice, moving back to the safe space of Namjoon’s knee. “Sorry, hyung.”

“It’s okay,” Namjoon tells him honestly. He isn’t even sure that he was telling Jungkook to move it, really. It felt nice, Jungkook’s fingers at the inside of his thigh.

Jungkook sings along to the song playing in a low voice, his breath tickling Namjoon’s neck, and that’s nice too. It’s nice to sit here like this, quiet together. Jungkook has always been good for that, for comfortable quiet. He’s good to talk to too, but this is what he wants right now.

“Hyung?” Jungkook’s voice interrupts his thoughts. Namjoon is a little startled by it, and his hand pulls back from Jungkook’s hair. “No, don’t,” Jungkook says suddenly, and Namjoon pauses.

“Hm?” He asks, a little confused.

“Don’t...stop doing that. It feels nice,” Jungkook admits. His voice is muffled, mouth turned in toward Namjoon’s sweatshirt as he says it, and Namjoon grins a little.

“What were you going to ask me, Jungkook-ah?” Namjoon’s hand goes back to stroking through Jungkook’s hair, slow and soft.

Jungkook pauses, sits up a little. “Can I kiss you for real?”

Namjoon’s brain short-circuits, he’s sure of it. It’s the only explanation for why he can’t make words go from his brain to his mouth, and just sits there gaping at Jungkook for a minute. Jungkook, for his part, just looks a little concerned.

“Or...not,” Jungkook says with an apologetic grin.

“No, I — yes,” Namjoon manages to splutter. “Yes, you can — yes.”

Jungkook smiles slowly, and then he has the nerve to smirk. “Okay.”

It’s all the warning he gets before Jungkook is leaning in purposefully, hand going to Namjoon’s face. The hand on his knee grips him a little firmer, and Namjoon has no other course of action except to grip tighter at Jungkook’s hair and pull him by the waist into his lap properly.

It’s a good kiss, slow and languid. Jungkook is obviously experienced enough to have some skills, to know what he’s doing, and it’s...kind of hot, if Namjoon’s being honest. The whole thing is kind of hot, the whole past hour has been kind of hot, and it’s all burning Namjoon in the best possible way. Jungkook’s lips part eventually, and his mouth tastes like smoke, and he feels so warm and solid pressed against Namjoon.

Namjoon is aware, distantly, of the fact that Jungkook is probably stronger than him. But this has never really been put to the test until Jungkook is shoving him back and sideways so that he’s laying down, until Jungkook can hold him down so easily. There’s no kind of about that, it’s just plain hot, and Namjoon feels himself arch up at the feeling.

“You’re pretty, hyung,” Jungkook tells him breathlessly, and Namjoon is suffering, looking at him while he says it.

“You’re — you —” he mutters fruitlessly, before surging upwards to kiss him hard and desperate. His head feels light and airy, higher than he’s been in a long while, and Jeon goddamn Jungkook is an upsettingly good kisser. It’s all happening, really, and Namjoon is overwhelmed.

He doesn’t know how long it is before their hips brush by accident and they both suddenly realize how hard the other one is. This morning, if you had told Kim Namjoon that Jeon Jungkook would come over and rile him up so badly just from kissing the hell out of him, well. He would have been surprised, that’s all.

Now that they’re here, though, Namjoon is enjoying the way Jungkook inhales breathily, the way his eyelids flutter closed when Namjoon does something he likes. Namjoon is keeping track of the things he likes, and so far it seems to be a nice little list. Jungkook likes when Namjoon plays with his hair, he likes when Namjoon puts a hand on his hip, when Namjoon kisses at his neck lightly. Namjoon wants to flip them over, wants to see what makes Jungkook lose his composure, but they’re on a couch and if they move too much, they’ll end up on the floor. And he’s really too old for rugburn contracted from irresponsible floor kissing.

Instead, he pulls away from Jungkook’s mouth, looks at the confused little face Jungkook gives him. “Hey. Sit up.”

Jungkook pulls himself up from where he’s pinned Namjoon into the couch, sits back on his heels and watches Namjoon pull himself back up into a sit.

“Come here,” Namjoon mumbles, pulling Jungkook by the hand and gesturing vaguely to his lap. Jungkook just nods, scoots himself forward and straddles Namjoon’s lap easily, and that feels pretty goddamn remarkable, doesn’t it.

Namjoon’s head is swimming, his skin is on fire, his lips feel close to numb, but all he knows is he wants to make Jungkook feel good, wants to take care of him. He lets go of Jungkook’s hand and trails it down his side, grips at his hip a little, and Jungkook’s hip buck forward like he can’t control it.

“Sorry —” he mutters, sounding embarrassed in the hushed air between them.

“No, um. I actually — can I — ?” He hasn’t been able to get a full sentence out in forever, and he’s starting to worry about his brain, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to have noticed.

“Anything you want, hyung,” Jungkook tells him easily, like he doesn’t have to think about it, and Namjoon’s breath hitches.

“Fuck. Okay,” he breathes, and his hand moves from Jungkook’s hip to the waistband of his joggers. It’s easy, all things considered, to ruck the hem of Jungkook’s shirt up, slip fingers past his sweatpants and into his underwear until his hand is wrapped around Jungkook’s dick. It feels normal, it feels like it’s what he’s supposed to be doing. It feels damn good, to make Jungkook’s breath stutter, for Jungkook to hide a whimper against the skin of Namjoon’s neck.

It’s electric, the fact that Jungkook trusts him like this, wants him like this. It’s crazy and weird and Namjoon doesn’t want to take it lightly, so he leans in close to Jungkook’s ear, mutters, “Want you to feel good, Jungkookie.”

Jungkook nods, kisses the crook of Namjoon’s neck where his face is hidden. Namjoon gets a rhythm, strokes him slowly.

“Can I see you?” Namjoon asks, hand still moving. It takes a second, but Jungkook extracts himself, and then his face is right there, up close. He looks a little wrecked, lips parted and pink, eyes hooded. He looks sexy, which is a thought Namjoon only had about Jungkook a handful of times before this afternoon. He can’t seem to stop having it now, though.

“Cute,” he says instead, because it’s safer. Jungkook looks embarrassed at that.

“That’s all? I’m just cute? You have your — ah — hand down my pants and I’m just cute?” Jungkook sounds a little huffy, and it makes Namjoon laugh.

“You’re hot, is that what you want?” Namjoon asks with a little bit of a smirk. “I love that you can...that you can hold me down like that. I want more than this.”

When Jungkook moves like he’s going to stand up, going to reposition them, Namjoon puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Not right now, though. Right now I just want to get you off.”

“Hard to say no to that,” Jungkook says with a pleased little smile, and Namjoon twists his hand, thumb playing at Jungkook’s slit to move precum down. Jungkook’s smile goes away, his lips opening and letting a little sound out.

Jungkook rocks down, grinding against Namjoon’s crotch, and then it’s Namjoon’s turn to make noise, a surprised groan. They find a pace, Jungkook grinding down, Namjoon’s hand twisting on him, and eventually their foreheads are pressed together, sticky with sweat as they pant and groan.

Jungkook is getting close; Namjoon can tell from the amount of precome, from the way he’s making these desperate little noises, from the way his thighs are trying to clench together but encountering the obstacle of Namjoon’s hips instead.

“C’mon, Jungkook-ah,” Namjoon mutters, kissing his cheek. Jungkook nods again, rocks down with more urgency just because apparently he can. Namjoon goes faster, hand moving quick like he would move on himself when he just wants to come. Jungkook is gasping and making these choked-off noises, like he wants to moan but he doesn’t have the patience for it, and they all go right to Namjoon’s dick.

Jungkook doesn’t give him any warning before he comes, suddenly just going still and crying out hoarsely, cum spilling over Namjoon’s hand. Namjoon blames a lot of things for what happens next — he blames the weed making him oversensitive and easily worked up, he blames how long it’s been since he slept with anyone, but mostly he blames the fact that when Jungkook comes, he whimpers out a wrecked-sounding, “Joonie,” right into Namjoon’s ear as he grips tight at Namjoon’s bicep and grinds down hard on Namjoon’s dick. He blames all those things for the fact that seconds after Jungkook comes, Namjoon follows him, gasping desperately as his hips buck up and his grip on Jungkook tightens for a moment.

“Shit,” Namjoon mutters, embarrassed.

“Wow,” Jungkook says to him.

Namjoon closes his eyes, leans back against the couch, and sighs as he refamiliarizes himself with the quickly-uncomfortable damp feeling in his boxers that he hasn’t felt in a really long time.

“I didn’t even touch you, hyung.” Jungkook sounds amazed by it, and it embarrasses Namjoon more. He covers his face with his hands, groaning a little.

“I usually —” Namjoon tries to defend himself. “This isn’t a thing, I just —”

Jungkook giggles a little, reaching down to pull Namjoon’s hands back and press a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll take it as a compliment.”

When Namjoon doesn’t open his eyes, Jungkook kisses his other cheek, and then the tip of his nose. “Thank you, Namjoonie.” He says it so softly, so kindly, and it makes Namjoon feel warm and shy.

“Any time,” Namjoon says, suddenly realizing how much he means it. He opens his eyes to find Jungkook smiling at him, bottom lip between his teeth.

“I need to go, uh...clean up,” Namjoon mutters, shifting uncomfortably underneath Jungkook, who gets the picture instantly and slides off of him. He still looks a mess too, shirt and pants rumpled from being held at different angles. “I’m gonna change, but do you want to...get dinner, or something?”

Jungkook looks at him for a second, a grin spreading on his face slowly. “Are you going to buy for me?”

Namjoon nods automatically. “Of course.” He moves his hand to tap at the underside of Jungkook’s chin with a smile.

“Then yes,” Jungkook answers with a laugh. “Buy me barbecue, hyung.”

And maybe it’s the drugs talking or maybe it’s the orgasm, but Namjoon thinks he would do just about anything Jungkook asked him to right now.

“Yeah. Barbecue,” he agrees easily. Jungkook laughs again and leans in to kiss him properly, just a quick thing, and Namjoon feels pleasantly warm, looking at Jungkook’s cute teeth as he smiles across the couch.