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I Just Won't Die - A Club for Immortals

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The Club, as it had become known, had been started by one Rory Williams. It's beginnings were not quite as grand as the stories shared by its members, in fact it began as an act of desperate frustration. How was Rory to know so many people had died and come back? Some even (like himself) had done so several times.
"Jack, what are you doing?"
"I think he's drinking Dean "under the table", Doctor. "
"Shut up Cas, he can't do that!"
"You bet I can Hunter-boy!"
"Ha! Take that Merlin! I beat you! Merlin's beard I beat Merlin!"
"Only because I let you Golden Boy."
Rory sighed. He didn't know what he had planned for The Club but, somehow, it wasn't this.
"Rory!" A voice that sounded like a child called. "Rory, I think Krillin's dead again!" Rory turned and saw Gohan stood over the still form of Krilin. He sighed. No, this is definitely not what he had wanted when he started the club.

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"Captain Jack," Rory said. "Meet Captain Jack." He scowled, realising what he had said. Then shrugged, weirder things had happened.
"Nice name there my friend," Harkness said, stretching out a hand towards the pirate.
"Likewise matey," Sparrow replied, eyeing the hand in front of him before spitting in his own and taking it.. "Do you know where I could get me filfy mits on some Rum?" He rubbed his hands together eagerly at the prospect.
"Be my guest," Harkness said holding out an arm towards the bar of the Roadhouse, whilst surreptitiously wiping his other hand against his great coat.
One thought went through Rory's head. "What have you done?" The Doctor voiced it for him.

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Merlin's eyes flashed golden briefly and Harry's drink flew from his hand. Merlin caught it and despite it sloshing in the glass not a drop was spilt. "I'm afraid you're too young for alcohol, Harry!" He taunted the 18 year old wizard.
"What?" Said young wizard complained, glaring at the Warlock. "I'm 18!"
"Kiddo the legal age here is 21," Gabriel interrupted, snatching the drink from Merlin.
"Well that's bloody rubbish!" Harry exclaimed in irritation. "So legally I'm too young to drink beer that's not even as alcoholic as butterbeer in this stupid country?!"
"That's about it," said Rory, realising a fight was about to break out. "However, I think we can all be in agreement that there are enough respon-" he stopped noticing the two Captain Jacks trying to drink each other under. "Adults here to keep an eye on him." He glanced over his shoulder to the bar and saw Ellen nod minutely.
"Thank you!" Harry said, snatching his drink back with a wandless accio.
As the drinking got well underway the Doctor and Merlin cringed at each other. They were the designated drivers, Merlin of a Minibus that could travel the globe (his own design thank you very much) in seconds and the Doctor to get those in their wrong time (like Sparrow for example) back to the right time. Steve Rogers starred at his drink with hope in his eyes, a hope that would never be fulfiled, as since the serum he had been unable to get drunk. He sighed in defeat and asked for a pint of Pepsi instead.

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"Sammy," Dean said, thoroughly pissed. "From the day we arrive on the planet, and blinking first step into the sun, there's more to see than can ever be seen, more to do-"
"Hunter-boy why are you singing Lion King?" Harkness asked, leaning drunkenly on Sam's side.
"I dunno," Dean slurred. "I had somfing impor'an' to tell Sammy! Go' side tracked..."
Krillin, somehow alive again, stumbled past singing a Justin Bieber song.
Dean and Jack shared a look. "At least I wasn't singing that!" Dean said, much clearer now.
Merlin, and the few others that were still sober sighed in aggravation at the drunken antics of their companions.

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One time Steve managed to convince the others to take the club's meeting back to a bar in his own past. A bar, he remembered Bucky telling him about, that a rowdy party - including a huge man who looked like him and a skinny man in a bow tie - had entered. That party seemed to be their group, just in the wrong time.
"Pranking friends in the past," Dean said rubbing his hands together mischievously. "I love this idea!"
So with Steve and the Doctor in the lead, the group waltzed into the TARDIS. Logan seemed to be arguing with Jack over who suffered the most painful experience (Jack was certain exploding couldn't be matched, Sam agreed with Jack on that). Dean and Castiel were deep in a staring match (The Club had taken to calling these occurrences Destiel moments). Sparrow and Will (who was having his day on dry land - day was only a technicality with time travel) stumbled through the group catching up on old times.
The TARDIS landed around the corner from the bar Steve had indicated. When the shaking stopped, Dean lunged for the door. "Ugh!" He exclaimed.
"Cas, you gonna see if he's alrig-" Sam was interrupted by the angel disappearing. "Okay... whatever."
Gabriel noticed Sam looking confused and excused himself from the company of Merlin (on old friend of his) and went over to the young Winchester.
Slowly, and noisily, the group left the TARDIS and entered the bar. Steve spotted Bucky immediately and promptly shouted the man. "Bucky! Nice to see you!"
"Do I know you?" Bucky replied. But Steve was already engrossed in a conversation with the Doctor about all their friends being dead or not remembering them.

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Turns out the Captain was wrong. Firstly, Captain Jack Harkness had been a fairly close friend of his, and Jack was far from dead (well, most of the time).
Secondly, there was Alfred F. Jones, or, as the Cap' soon learnt, America.
The three sat in a corner of the bar in the past, reminiscing about the war, more so the funny than the sad. Jack had started flirting incessantly with his two buddies and Bucky, from across the bar, was giving the trio funny looks. “I remember this one time England actually got hit by a star! Dudes, it was hilarious!”
“I can see how that would be funny,” Steve said.
“Oy!” came a strong London accent from a few tables away. “You wankers aren’t talking about me are you?”
“Nah! British dude!” America laughed. “Why would we do that?”
“Erm, actually,” Steve said. “That’s exactly what we were doing.”
“Steve, can’t you be just a little more free spirited?” Jack asked, with a flirty smirk in place.

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Kenny sat in a corner of the Roadhouse one time when the club met. Dean walked up to him, he was slowly getting to know everyone in the club, and that included the kids. “Hey kid, you immortal or die a lot?”
“I [muffle] die a [muffle] lot,” Kenny said. “What [muffle] you [muffle]?”
“Right,” Dean said, uncertain as to why this kid has his hood on so tight. “Die a lot dude, I die like every freaking year!”
“[muffle] every [muffle] day!” Kenny replied.
“Don’t get me started on the time I died like a hundred times whilst stuck in a time loop of continuous Tuesdays!” Dean continued as if Kenny had never said anything.
“[muffle] died [muffle] least [muffle] 108 times,” Kenny said, waiting for Dean’s response.
Dean laughed. “You’re close kid, I’ve died 111 times, at least,” as Dean spoke his eyes flashed black, then he took a sip of his beer. “I think it’s only Harkness that’s died more than me.”
“I’ve [muffle] hell,” Kenny said, trying to find someway to get this guy to go away.
“Dude, join the club, me and my brother have both been there, it didn’t really agree with us though,” Dean laughed again. Cas called to Dean from across the bar. “Anyway gotta go!”

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John Carter, or Uncle Jack depending on who you asked, was sat in the Roadhouse, on his own, he wasn’t even sure why he was here in the first place, when a voice came from behind him.
"Captain John Carter!" A man in a brown pinstriped suit said. "Oh you are brilliant! Castiel look at this Captain John Carter of Mars himself!" The Doctor didn't give the angel anytime to respond before continuing. "You didn't happen to see any Ice warriors whilst you were up there did you?"
"Ice warriors?" Carter said. "No, not Ice warriors?" He seemed to be questioning the sanity of the man before him.
"No," The Doctor said, cutting the word short. "Nevermind hey?"
"Doctor," Castiel interjected. "You are not giving the man much time to respond."
The Doctor grinned. "Angels and contractions, I could write a book!"
"I don't entirely understand your meaning," Carter said.

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Rory was waiting outside the Roadhouse for a new member of the club. This new member was a latino boy of about sixteen who, like almost everyone else here, had died and come back.
Dean was inside singing "I'm too sexy" at the top of his lungs. Cas was trying desperately to act like he didn't know the demon and Sam was too busy talking with John Carter to notice.
The Doctor, the twelfth one, was drinking a whiskey near the stage with the angel Gabriel, who was singing along.
Harkness and Sparrow were trying to out drink Steve. That wasn't really working for them.
Suddenly a jet of fire spread across the sky and a huge bronze dragon appeared. When the dragon was a few feet above the ground the rider jumped down. As he hit the floor his legs gave and he fell onto his side, laughing like a maniac.
"Leo Valdez?" Rory asked.
"That's me!" Leo said grinning from ear to ear.
The demigods entrance was quite a spectacle for the Club.

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Malcom Reynolds walked into the Roadhouse and everyone already inside looked up. This must be a new member, they all thought. “Took your time, didn’t you Mal?” Rory asked as he walked up to the man still stood at the door.
“Couldn’t really come when I got the letter,” Mal replied. “We were in the middle of a job.”
“Where’s your crew right now?” Rory asked.
“Well I left Zoe in charge so they could be anywhere,” Mal answered. “Told ‘em to pick me up in about an hour.”
“Why don’t you go mingle then?” Rory asked, gesturing to the room.
“Alright,” Mal said as he walked into the room proper. He walked over to a man that looked like an old pirate. “Who are you then?”
“Captain Jack Sparrow, mate,” Jack said, holding his arms out wide a bottle of rum in one hand. “Who are you?”
“Malcom Reynolds, Captain of Serenity,” Mal said.
“Serenity hey?” Jack asked. “Must be a beautiful boat?”
“Yeah,” Mal said. “Kayley keeps her running, she’s the best damn mechanic I ever seen.”
“Mechanic you say?” Jack asked. “What you needing one o’ them for on a boat?”
“Well how else would she fly?” Mal asked.

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Jack Frost walked into the Roadhouse one day and Rory saw him. He walked over. "You must be Jack Frost?"
"Er, yeah," Jack said. "That's me." He was very confused about the whole thing, it was strange enough that a man in a blue box came to him telling him that there was a club for people like him, but now a regular looking human adult could see him. "Can you tell me what's going on?"
"Yeah, er," Rory started. "Everyone here is immortal or has died at least once. This, for some reason, lets them - er us, rather - see people like you, or that's what Merlin said anyway... This is a club for immortals and people that cannot, will not or have already died."
"Right," Jack said, looking around. He was still very confused.
"Why don't you go and mingle?" Rory suggested. Jack nodded and walked further into the bar. Rory shook his head and said to himself; "Did we really need another Jack?"

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There were two rows of ten shot glasses set up on the table. Bucky, who Steve had finally thought to bring along, sat the super soldier down at one row. Dean was sitting Cas down at the other.
"What's going on?" Steve asked.
"Apparently," Bucky said, twitching his head at Cas. "Angel over there has a ridiculously high tolerance and demon boy-"
"Not a demon anymore!" Dean protested.
"Over there reckons it's higher than yours."
"I literally cannot get drunk," Steve declared.
"Theoretically," Castiel said, tilting his head. "Neither can I. However, I have been."
It was around about then that Dean started a chant of "Drink! Drink! Drink!" Once the whole bar had started to chant Steve gave in. He threw back the first shot.
"This is hardly logical," came a voice from the door.
"Shut up Spock," said a far younger voice.
Cas threw back two shots. Steve matched him.
Somewhere, around the 100th shot Ellen protested "You'll drink me out of house and home before either of you are even tipsy, so I'm ending this."

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An explosion outside the bar caused everyone to stop what they were doing. The thirteenth Doctor brushed her hair behind her ear.

“Not him,” Steve muttered as the door was slammed open.

A figure, currently missing an arm, clad in red leather pushed their way into the bar. “Why was I not invited to this shindig?” Wade yelled.

Rory slammed his head down on thd table. Yeah, he was really regretting making this club now.

A silent boy smashed a pot and picked up something from the shattered remains.

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There was a screech of breaks. Love of My Life by Queen started playing on the speakers in the bar. And then two presumably English, presumably male people walked in. "Come on Angel," the taller one was saying. "You can't back out now, we're already here!"

"Yes I know that, my dear," said the shorter one. "But you did promise not to do any tempting."

"Alright," the tall one said. "I'll only tempt the immortal ones."

"Aren't they all immortal?"

"Exactly angel," they(?) said with a grin. The tall one then swaggered towards Rory.

"You must be Crowley," said the some-what exhausted some-what immortal.

"It's Crow-ley," Crowley said. "Like the bird."

"Well he's CrOWley," Rory said, pointing at another member.

Crowley sniffed. "Crossroads demons," he said, with what some would consider a sneer.

"Oh, is he one of your lot?"

Rory jumped, having not noticed the shorter of the two approaching. "Azirfel?"

"Aziraphale," the angel corrected, kindly.

"He's one of your lot angel," said Crowley, pointing to Cas.

"Ahh Castiel," Aziraphale said. "I hear he caused all of the angels to fall."

"Did he?" Crowley said as he turned his attention fully on the other angel.

Rory just watched once more as things got way too complicated. 

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Eddie looked at the invite in his hand. He then looked at the name of the place he was about to enter. "V are you sure this is a good idea?"

Of course it is.

"If you say so," Eddie said shoving his hand, with the invite, back into the pocket of his sweaty hoodie. He walked into the Roadhouse and stumbled a little. Glancing around he saw a bunch of people doing really dumb shit.

"Gabriel come on!" Shouted a short man. "Loki already did it!"

"I am not sullying the temple of my divine form with alcohol!" Said a taller man with purple eyes.

"It's asgardian mead," said a- wait a minute. Isn't Loki one of your human gods?

"This place is weird." With that Eddie walked up to the bar and asked for some chocolate.

"Another one?" Asked the woman serving. 

"Another what?"

"You ain't Vulcan then?"

"What's a Vulcan?"

She just shook her head and handed him a couple bars of chocolate.