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Heartless

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Frisk could feel the morning rays of the sun through the window as she stretched, and turned to face the day with a smile on her face. She was determined that today would be the day, her smile was wider, and she looked at her side to see Sans on the bed.

He looked so peaceful, it made her smile. The nightmares had stopped…

She moved to get up, careful not to wake him until she stiffened at the feel of his hand on her back. She looked back to see his fingers feeling along the spot she once lay, and she tore her eyes from the bony appendages as she jumped up.

“Frisk?”

A socket was barely open with a penlight pupil looking at her, and he rubbed at his eyes until she saw both.

“Hm?” She gave him a smile, her hand reached over to the nightstand, picking up white gloves and laying them within his grasp. “You forgot these by the way” She laughed, watching blue come across his face in that blush she was familiar with.

“i guess it was too hot to hand-le last night.” Sans chuckled, and Frisk couldn’t help but laugh at his pun. “but is it so bad if i leave them off. i mean it feels weird to sleep in them sometimes and…” Frisk’s face started to fall as she listened to him and suddenly he laughed, a hand going rubbing the back of his neck bone.

“just joking, Frisky.” His grin was wide, and she couldn’t help but be relieved, taking one of his hands after he put a glove on it and kissed his fingertips before going out their bedroom and to the bathroom.  She was careful to put on a robe just in case, remembering the embarrassment from last time she thought Papyrus had already left for his jog, and he hadn’t.

Pocketing her phone in her robe out of habit, she closed the door and took a good look at herself in the mirror.

“Today will be a good day,” she said the words to herself, feeling determined as she brushed away her bangs and pressed up close to the mirror and eyed herself. “No excuses.” She nodded at her own reflection, feeling her phone buzz and her some of her determination start to leave.

Maybe it’s not him…

She chewed her lip, taking the phone from her pocket as she glanced at a corner of the mirror. Seeing a picture of herself and Sans at the space museum they went to last week, excitement lit up his face as he called her to go from one exhibit to the next. She was against his hoodie, and she smiled how he had been considerate enough to keep his hands to himself.

He was so sweet. Frisk smiled more at the picture. She didn’t deserve him…

The phone buzzed again with another message, and she felt curious as she pulled it out. Telling herself that she was only going to look as she skimmed through the messages.

Eli: Where are you?

Eli: Am I gonna see you today or not? Can’t stop thinking about last night.

She looked at the messages again, she promised today would be a good day but her mind brought up images. Hands on her, touching her in places she’s never been touched as she pressed her thighs together and took a deep breath.

Good day Frisk...Good day...

Two knocks came to the bathroom door, and quickly she put her phone in her pocket, looking for her brush next so she’d appear to be doing something. “I’m not ready yet!” She called out quickly, hearing the door knob jiggle and she was glad she had the sense to lock it. Sans wouldn’t teleport inside unless it were an emergency.

“that’s not the way it goes.” Sans laughed, and Frisk rolled her eyes playfully at the door.

“Sans…”

He laughed again. “well, paps is gone this week with the guys.” He laughed, a nervous one and Frisk remembered how everyone decided to go on a trip. Sans and her had been the only ones to turn it down. “so i thought maybe we could go out on a date?”

“Out on a date?” She thought about it and smiled. It had been a long time since they had gone on one and she was already feeling excited about it. “Sounds fun! Just give me a sec.” She called out, hearing him leave from the door as she took off her robe. She just needed a cold shower, and it would be back to having a good day.

She shivered under the cold water once she was under it, goosebumps all over her skin and her teeth chattered as she took her shower. It turned into a quick one, she only could stand it so long before getting out of there and drying herself off, so that she could get dressed.

With a hand into her wet hair, and one more glance at the mirror, she reminded herself it would be a good day as the phone buzzed again with her hand in her pocket.

She sat on the bed, mouth-watering scents teasing her nose from the kitchen as she took her phone out again. Her mind going blank as an image filled the screen of Eli’s abs and that happy trail that led down to places she knew. The tingling between her legs only got worse with each squeeze of her legs. She absentmindedly flipped to the next message.

Eli: I can show ya something else, but rather show you that in person. ;)

She gulped, breathing heavy, and forcing herself to get up and close out of all the pictures. It was tough to get dressed when all she wanted was to be undressed and have those large hands all over her. She shivered at the memory of Eli filling her up, her eyes closing, her jeans undone and her hand so close to at least touching where she needed it.

“i know you said i’m an egg-cellent cook, but no need to start drooling babe.”

Frisk jumped at the sound of Sans voice, looking in the doorway to see him with a tray and her breakfast on it. She quickly put her fingers to the corner of her lips, her face heating up as she wiped away the drool.  “Sorry.” She could feel her blush getting worse as he got closer.

“i bacon to differ, i’m actually a bit flattered.” She looked away, not having it in her to reply just yet with the images that were in her mind. “you’re okay, Frisky?” The humor had left his voice, and she looked at him, his grin had faltered, and concern was written on his face.

“I’m fine.” She said quickly, moving to fix her clothes and noticed he was already dressed in his familiar hooded blue parka and shirt, along with some jeans and shoes. “You already took a shower?”

“yeah, just used paps so that i didn’t interrupt yours.” His grin was almost back to normal as he set the food back on the bed, and Frisk fidgeted as her thoughts warred against each other.

“Sans…” His hand stilled, and Frisk frowned as she watched him, soon he was back to moving and putting everything in place.

“yeah?”

“Maybe we can go out tomorrow?” She kept her voice light, and he didn’t say anything as he laid down the last dish. “But I’ll stay for breakfast. It smells great.” She smiled and heard his deep sigh. He stood and looked at her, a grin on his face, the one she knew was a mask that always started this scene.

“where you going?” It was the usual question, and she shrugged playfully. One that wasn’t needed.

“Hang out with my friends. Some girl time.” She lied, and he smiled. And the worse part was, they both knew it wasn’t needed. This was the same scene as usual.

“i’ll just pack your food for you. i bet they’re real egg-xited to see you.” He turned from her, moving everything back to the tray and she didn’t say a word to stop him. Or question when he returned with a bag, and his hood was up hiding his face as she took it.

 


 

Chapter Text


 

Sans stood, holding out the bag to her while feeling the cracks at his soul that started to heal come undone. Why he thought it would be different with so much time to themselves, he didn’t know. He just wanted to sleep now and then he’d wake up with her here.

“Bye,” She smiled, taking it though he knew her fingers would never dare even brush against his. Even with gloves and when he covered up, Frisk would still sometimes not want to touch him.

“love you, Frisky” He hoped his voice came out right and then she looked at him, her eyes so full of love that Sans could almost convince himself it was enough.

“Love you too.”

He knew she meant it, even as the door closed and he knew exactly where she was going. It was never said out loud, and he was sure Frisk knew that he knew. She had been smart from the moment he met her, cleverly making her way through the underground and saving them. Just some young woman in the wrong place at the wrong time.

He let out a deep sigh, flopping down on the couch and taking out his phone to check on his brother. It had been hard on him to let Papyrus go and him not go as well, since it left him with no clue to how his brother may be doing or if he needed him. He had even taken off from the lab along with Alphys earlier for the trip until his last-minute decision to spend that time with Frisk.

He kept the phone to his ear, hearing the ring as he thought back to his reasons and the one main was Frisk.

“What’s up, nerd! Finally, bored at home?” Sans heard Undyne’s laugh and laughed with her, though his mind was too much on his brother.

“hey, where’s paps?” He wondered why Undyne had his little brother’s phone.

“Oh, he’s out on the surf. Had to take his phone, numbskull tried to swim with it” Undyne let out a loud laugh. “Told ya I’d watch out for him!”

“yeah, i know. it’s just hard not to sea him.” Sans laughed, he could hear the ocean and his brother’s laugh far off.

“Then you should have come too!”

“shore could have, but i had plans.”

“Ugh! STOP ALREADY! And shouldn’t you be with the punk. I thought your plans were with her?”

“she ...uh…got busy…” It wasn’t a complete lie, but it didn’t help his imagination. The picture of his girlfriend with some man on top of her, he clenched his hand, feeling his magic and he knew his left eye was swirling with the flames of it.

“AGAIN?” Sans took the phone away from the hole of his ear a moment. He kinda valued his hearing. He didn’t want anyone to think the worse of Frisk, so he continued his lie.

“she’s the monster ambassador, she’s gonna be busy. to not do anything is fishing for trouble.” He snickered, hoping it’d derail the conversation quicker as he tried to relax. Slowly he felt the coils of magic ebb away, back into its normal relaxed waves within him.

“Sans…”

“and i’m udyne-ing to know if you got some better idea.” He chuckled.

“Sans!”

“hm?” He laughed, laying back on the couch now that he was sure Papyrus was fine. The nightmares stopping helped, a lot. He was no longer waking up, disappearing into Papyrus room just to make sure his brother was still there. Or waking up Frisk in the middle of the night just to check if her soul was it’s same brilliant red and hadn’t changed.

She never minded, and when he’d leave Paps room and went back to theirs, she was always there to talk to him. His fragmented nightmares of where she’d kill everyone would scare her too. Her arms would wrap around him with her face against the fur of his night hoodie, he’d gotten used to wearing one to bed for Frisk.

“I know you miss her. Just tell her that…”

Sans heard Undyne let out a sigh on the other end and he tried to think of something to say. Rubbing the back of his neck, he let out a laugh as a joke came to mind. “i...”

“You can make all the jokes you want, but I know it has to suck. I mean you’re practically sharing her and never get to see her.”

Sans stiffened, the phone pressed against his earhole as he felt his soul breaking more. He let out a bitter laugh, “she’s happy…” He knew Undyne didn’t know, but it was hilarious how close she was to the truth.

Yet he couldn’t blame Frisk. She was human, was it wrong to want something closer to home. And not something like…

Him.

He brought a hand up, catching a glimpse of his bony wrist as the sleeve of his hoodie slid down slightly.

“and if she’s happy, I’m happy. ya know?” He hoped that would be enough to get the fish monster off his case, but Undyne always was determined.

“Yeah, I know she’s happy doing it. I mean Queen Toriel did a great job picking her, but all I’m saying is...sheesh dude you know I’m not good at this touchy-feely stuff.”

“it’s no prob. i get it.” Sans let out a laugh, one of his many practiced ones.  “look, i really need to get some sleep. bone tired and all that. i’ll call paps again later. let him know i called, kay?”

“Alright...”

“later.” He hung up quickly, dropping the phone and lets his hands cover his face as he closed his eye sockets. He was glad that conversation was over.

she’ll be home soon. just...sleep…

His drifted off with that thought.

“Sans?”

He barely opened a socket and watched Frisk stumble through the darkness of the house and her switch on a light. He wondered how long he’d been sleeping. She stopped at the couch, looking down at him and he watched her lips curl into a smile.

“Such a lazybones.” she laughed, and he was tempted to pull her down on top of him until the smell of cologne hit his nasal cavity. He took a good look at her then. She had changed clothes and tried to shower, he could smell the fresh soap on her and closed his socket again.

He wasn’t even angry at her. He opened his eye sockets, holding up a hand and looking over the glove. It was like the ones he wore in Snowdin, pulling one off, he stared at his hand. Milk white bones that he thought nothing about back in the Underground. Back then his hand had just been his hand.

can’t blame her for preferring a human or at least something with flesh touching her…

“Sans?”

He glanced over, seeing Frisk look at him and he gave her his best grin as he dropped his hand.

“so, when did you get through the door looking all a-door-able.”


 

Here's just a small sketch I made for "Heartless".

(edited and tried to correct)

Heartless Cover

 


 

Chapter Text


 

Frisk had watched him stare at his hand, and she wondered what he was thinking. The permanent toothy grin was a grimace as he looked at it. She was sure whatever he was thinking, it was her fault.

“Sans?”

He quickly looked at her, his grin back in place. “so, when did you get through the door looking all a-door-able.”

She heard him laugh, yet could hear the strain behind it.

“Are you okay?” She asked carefully. She had been counting on him sleeping, the thought of him just at home waiting for her made her feel more horrible than she already did. She knew he had this week off while everyone was out of town.

Maybe I should call in…

“Before you say anything, just give me a sec.” She gave Sans a smile, watching his brow bone raise as she turned her back, and going to pick up her phone. “Let’s se-”

“no!” She stiffened as arms came around her, holding tightly. “please…just...please...” She frowned as those arms tightened around her more. She winced, her body still sore from Eli’s handling, she swore she heard the words “don’t call him”.

“Sans, what are yo-”

“i’m...heh. my bad.” He let her go, and she got up, looking back to see his hood covering his head and she couldn’t even see his face with how he was bowing his head.

“I’m just calling work, I have plenty of vacation days I can use.” She explained, hoping it helped as she continued. “And I probably don’t need to go in unless there’s some monster/human emergency.”

His head pick up, and she could barely make out his eye sockets with dim penlight eyes.“ you’re calling off?”

She frowned at the surprise in his voice, “Yes.” She expected him to pull off the hood, and show her a grin as he always did. Not a fake one or the one his mouth settled into, a genuine one. They seemed to become rarer as time went on. She kept looking at him, expecting him to do it, yet he just sat there quiet until he turned away.

“sounds great, kid.”

She winced at the old nickname, back when he hadn’t bothered telling the difference between one human and the next. She didn’t bother hiding her frown as she turned to go, hearing a deep sigh behind her.

Back in their bedroom, she looked at the floor while on the edge of their bed.

Well, that stung…

She guessed it was bound to happen where Sans would get tired of this situation. Maybe it’s too late to try… The phone buzzed in her hand, and she looked at the message.

 

Eli: Can’t wait to see you at work tomorrow. Maybe we can sneak to lunch early? lol

 

She sighed, staring at it until looking up at the sound of shuffling feet and into the face of Sans smiling at her, rubbing the back of his neck as he sat beside her. She quickly put the phone face down as a gloved hand touched her own at her, entwining their fingers.

“sorry, i was a real bonehead back there. lots of people looking up to ya, and here i am acting like a numbskull just cuz i can’t see you when i want. you don’t have to take off, but you doing it. should be happier about it.” He looked at her giving her a grin, and Frisk couldn’t help but feel worse.

“You don’t have to apologize…” She mumbled, not having the courage to look at him now.

“yeah, i do. it’s not easy for ya. with the job, and people always looking at ya to help ‘em. you barely get to breathe, tibia honest surprised you even have time to sleep. which is a crime in itself, you really should be a-rest-ed.” He chuckled, and she looked up.

“I have no problem taking off.” She kept her eyes on him, moving a hand to his hood to pull it down, only for him to get his own hold on it.

“stop that.” He laughed, and she could picture the blue blush he was hiding. “but anyways...am sorry. isn’t an easy thing, and i know…” He gestured between the two of them. “this isn’t either. least i can do is be considerate of that.”

“Do you have a shovel?” She covered her face with her hands.

“huh?”

“Never mind.” She muttered, wondering just how low she was in the hole she dug. She heard another buzz her eyes going to the phone, and she glanced at Sans to see he looked as well. His hood was finally down.

“welp...you’re probably tired.” He moved to get up, placing a  hand to her temple and leaned in to kiss behind the glove, so his mouth didn’t touch her. “get some sleep, kay? i’ll probably clean up or something…”

Frisk’s hand went towards the phone, fingers ghosting over it as she watched Sans back with him leaving the room.

Sans does not clean without being “forced”…

Quickly she got up, Her hand reached out, gripping the back of his jacket and he went still.

“frisk…”

She let her head lay on the back of his jacket, they were always close to touching but never fully were. Frisk knew it was because of her. “It’s not too late for a date, right?” It was a loaded question.

She heard the exhale, seeing his body relax and she wondered more about how exactly he worked. His body thrummed, with some alive pulse she could feel even through his clothes at this closeness, just as she would a heartbeat. He was still quiet.

She didn’t want it to be too late. It just couldn’t be. The thought of Sans with anyone else made her heart sink and break into pieces.

Please don’t be too late…I’ll try harder…

She could do this. She could stop. Wasn’t she supposed to be determined?

“It doesn't have to be out if it’s too late, I... I didn’t even look at a clock. We can even do something at home an-” She stopped as she felt him shake. Her heart broke, no matter how much she hurt him, she'd never seen him cry.

She spun him around, preparing some speech in her head until she heard the laughter.

“Sans!” She crossed her arms, giving him a pointed look.

“i’m sorry frisky, i was just imagining us showing up at some fancy restaurant at one a.m. in pajamas.” He continued laughing, and she couldn’t help but laugh at the image herself. “how about we go by grillby’s, he’s probably missing you.” He teased, and Frisk smiled, looking forward to seeing the fireman.

“Let’s do it!” She grinned, and Sans stood there staring at her.

“What is it?”

“just waiting for the punch in the air thing.”

“Sans!” She rolled her eyes and turned around from him playfully.

“come on frisky.i thought it’d make the perfect ‘punch’ line.”

“Sans…” She could feel laughter bubbling in her, but was trying her best to at least look mad.

“i really thought it’d be the ‘fist’ thing you’d do.”

“Sans.” She put a hand on her hip and tried to glare at him, it was getting harder not to laugh.

“alright, alright.” He laughed. “just hold my hand, we’ll take a shortcut.”

“Really?” She looked back at him excited, she missed teleporting with him.

“of course,” He shrugged with a wide grin. “just cuz grills not expecting us, doesn’t mean we can’t be punch-ual.”

“SANS, I SWEAR TO GOD!”

 


 

Chapter Text


 

He tried to control it, his own emotions caused his magic flared wildly, and he focused on the destination. It had never taken this long before, but it’d been so long since they went somewhere. It made him scared at how wrong this could go, and he could feel the sweat on his skull. Instead of a smooth transition, they were thrown, and he knew he was barely protecting her from the feeling the void gave as they were suddenly in front of Grillby’s. His own nerves were on edge, and he looked back at her with a nervous laugh.

“guess it’s been awhile since i did one that far.” He laughed, trying to lighten the moment though she looked unconvinced. He felt just as unconvinced.

They both knew he came here practically every day, ever since Grillby opened the place up. The best part was that it wasn’t too many miles from his and Frisk’s house. The humans that would even frequent the area stopped even being so surprised at his sudden appearances. Which was a good thing. He could keep happily avoiding walking.

He glanced back at Frisk, looking her over in the shirt he never seen before and some jeans he also never seen, reminding him that she had clothes over there.

she’s here, just enjoy it...

He let his grin stay wide as he gave her hand a squeeze, not yet ready to let go yet as they went inside the diner.

“Oh wow! Grillby actually bought in an aquarium? It looks so beautiful!” Frisk was practically squealing, and Sans let his grin slide to its natural one that stayed on his face. If he had materialized his tongue, he would have bit it as he looked at the tank she was talking about. Plenty of fish were swimming, glowing in fact, giving a magical look to it. The only problem was, Sans knew that tank was put in over a year ago.

He remembered because he knew how much Frisk loved fish, a bit too much as he thought of how much Frisk would get starry-eyed about Undyne, and he had to bite back a laugh at memories.  He had wanted to bring her in as soon as Grillby told him about it, and let her be the first to see it as a surprise but instead…

“frisky? where are y-” Sans stood still, staring at Frisk in a gorgeous dress that fit every curve, busily tapping her fingers against her touchscreen phone. Her collarbone was even out on display making him shiver. “frisk?” She looked up, her blush covering her cheeks and Sans thought it was the cutest thing he ever seen.

“You’re home? I thought you’d still be at Grillby’s.” Her voice was nervous, and Sans couldn’t blame her. Usually, he had been staying out longer at his favorite diner after work at the lab. He even took longer changing out his work clothes before going to Grillby’s, mainly to avoid things but he really wanted to surprise her as he fingered the box of chocolate fish in his pocket of his hoodie.

“decided to come home early.” he chuckled, quickly ignoring the way she was holding her phone against her. “besides grills told me some news and i wanted to share it with you. i can tell it to you there so we can…” He looked over her dress again while moving to take out the box of candy. “a-dress the issue.” He grinned, his soul feeling light from the sound of her laughter until she looked away.

“I would but…”

“but?” He kept trying to hold the grin, and not let it slip to the natural one, even as he heard it in her voice. He let his hand stop, staying in the pocket of his jacket.

“Maybe next time, I kinda...I mean...me, and the girls have plans.” She smiled, fidgeting slightly, and he looked at that dress again. He wasn’t stupid, and he watched her squirm a bit longer than usual. By now he’d usually let it go, it was all an act by now. Maybe that part was cruel on his part.

“it’s cool, no big. maybe next time.” He heard her sigh of relief and watched her grab her purse to move past him as she rushed out.

“Love you. I’ll see you when I get home, okay?” She beamed at him, a look so much full of love that Sans couldn’t help but catch her hand in his gloved one. Their fingers interlaced and he smiled at her.

“love you too.”

At the words, her eyes and soul were so bright. Once again he convinced himself it was enough.

Just like every time...

And he was getting tired. A tired he didn’t want to admit to as he got used to the pain and his cracked soul. He couldn’t tell Frisk, that seemed selfish. He was lucky she hadn’t tried any encounters to CHECK him.

Then there was that part of him that was slowly going back to how he used to deal with things and saying screw it. Let Frisk do what she wants, and he’ll just go about his life as he used to. Papyrus still needed him, and that was something he was used to. Something he knew wouldn’t change. So it was best to not care, it wouldn’t change anything.

He could either fall apart into dust or just go back to not caring.

“Sans!”

He looked at her, heard her sigh and wondered for how long had she been trying to get his attention.

“Did you even hear me?” One clueless look from him and he knew she had her answer. “I was saying it looks like Grillby has a new waitress.” She nodded towards a red-haired woman going towards the back. “I told her to get us a double order of burg.” She smiled at him.

“that’s great but actually...that’s his wife…” Sans watched shock cover her face until it settled into a frown, her eyes squinted, and he knew she was deep in thought.

“I haven’t met her before...have I?”

“no.” He wasn’t bothering to sugar-coat it right now, his mood had darkened.

“How long have they been married?

“about a year now…” He saw her face fall more and for once he felt divided between wanting to comfort her and feeling nothing. The moment reminded him of…

“. ..You’d be dead where you stand.

He brought a hand to his face, the table was silent and what should have just been a nice date was turning out awkward. By now he’d usually feel the space, that empty silence with something. He’d learn to accommodate over the years, compromise.

He pulled a hand away, looking at a gloved hand. Would this date change anything, or they’d still have the same routine? The same acts? Only for it to play the same line over and over and over again.

like a reset...

His left eye burned with magic at the similarity of the situation.

“Sans?”

He looked at her, watching her flinch and he looked at her hand. One sole hand that he never had a chance to touch, but he was a …

Freak. Monster. Disgusting.

Damn, he’d never been this self-conscious before. He hadn’t cared what other humans thought of him, now he listened.

cuz it’s probably the same thing she’s thinking…

“Sans, talk to me please?”

“why?” She looked taken back, and maybe he was too as they both stared at one another. Her mouth open. No words coming out and she bowed her head, and she didn’t even bother to lift it as Jenna came to the table.

The woman quickly left their food there, with a drink for Frisk and a bottle of ketchup for him. Maybe Jenna could feel the tenseness at the table with how she quickly excused herself politely from them. He heard a phone buzz, and Sans watched Frisk, counting down to the next scene they’d act out. The one where he’d pretend the text was a friend and she’d leave to see her co-worker.

He was sure it was a co-worker. He just hadn’t found out which one and going to Toriel about it for a clue was tempting.

It’d just be another crack, another chip at his soul. His magic was roaring within him. Frisk’s hand reached, and she took a bite out of her burger.

He blinked.

this is new…

“you…”

“Want some ketchup?” She smiled, grabbing his bottle and holding it out to him. He could see her swallow, and saw the slight tremble of her hand.

she’s trying and ya being a bonehead again, sans.  

He reached out to take it, watching her smile broaden as he stopped.

but we’ve done this scene too.

“You know, maybe you can help me ketchup to what’s been going on?” She let out a laugh.

damn, she’s so cute. Sans couldn’t help but let his grin widen, as he took it. Quickly opening the bottle and chugging it down as he heard her laugh.

“of course, i relish in the opportunity to help a damsel in distress.” He winked, watching her laugh more. The air was lighter, and it felt okay again.

“mustard not be someone who needs you too much, if they’re calling such a lazy bones.” Frisk laughed, and Sans nearly did until his eye caught sight of the glove. Reality hit hard.

“Sans?”

“i don’t know if she needs me, she’s always been able to get herself out of a real pickle.” He watched her eyes widen, they both knew what she was doing, but no one ever actually said it.  “besides if i dill-n’t know any better, i’d think she needed someone else and not this bag of bones. someone with some real ‘guts’.”

She was blinking, her face red and he could read the guilt on her face so perfectly. And he grew completely serious. It was easier to joke when it didn’t look so damning.

“you've been busy, huh? tell me something, kid.” He watched her flinch, he knew she hated him calling her that. That pained look chipped at him, and he almost stopped, because he loved her.

“do you think even the worst person can change….”

and it’s not like it’s her fault.  she wants to be touched, to be held. it’s not her fault she fell for a monster.

But the words kept coming as he closed his eyes.

“that everybody can be a good person...”

she didn’t even have to save us. but she did. she didn’t have to choose me. yet, she did.

“...if they just try?”

but i’m just…

tired.

 


 

Chapter Text


 

She forgot how to breathe as she stared across the table at her boyfriend. This wasn’t what she pictured, it wasn’t what she wanted. Right now, Sans was as unpredictable as he had been Underground. There were moments she thought she knew him but then…

“you know what would have happened if she hadn’t said anything…”

She closed her eyes, blocking out the memory of dark sockets looking back at her like death itself. Maybe it was too late, maybe she should just stop here…

Her phone felt like it as burning a hole in her pocket, she could answer it like usual. Not take that time off, just let things go as usual until…

She looked at Sans, one of her hands rubbed at her eyes. Tears were starting to begin there, and she kept waiting for him to do something. Tell her how he’s being a bonehead. Tell her how he should think about her more. It made her feel worse every time, but then they’d be okay. Every time they’d always be okay.

But now it felt like it wasn’t. Frisk’s shoulders shook, the tears weren’t stopping, and Sans wasn’t saying anything. The guilt twisted and turned in her, sharp and ugly leaving her nowhere to go. She could feel her sins crawling down her back.

“I’m sorry…”

“what...?”

It sounded like a whisper, less than a word as she continued crying, “I’m sorry, I’m so...so sorry…I wanted to try. I wanted to believe I could try...I really did...”

“frisk...what are you...you don-.”

“Because love is all that matters in the end, right? And I love you so much...so much it hurts. And God knows I want this to work.” She sniffed, rubbing her nose. “” You’re funny, smart, and you’re so sweet. And everyone would say that you’re not, but one look at how you are with Papy and you can see it then too.” She started to laugh while crying, “And it’s so crazy because I want you, but I guess in the end we reall-”

“STOP!”

A hand went to her lips, and she froze. Did he yell? That loud?

“just...do you think a person can change. just answer that…”

“But…” she was muffled under the glove.

“come on, frisky. you already got us sounding like a bad soap opera right now.” He laughed nervously, and she glanced down at his gloved hand touching her lips.   No... what am I saying…I can’t give him up but…something has to change.

I’m not losing you…

She was determined.

She took a deep breath, looking at that gloved hand as Sans looked as well. His penlight pupils widened along with his sockets, as he pulled his hand away.

Without thinking Frisk grabbed it, that gloved hand within her own. She knew a bony hand was within it.  She could feel his eyes on her, and she looked at him, her hold on his hand tightening as he tried to pull away gently.

He was stronger than her. He could snatch his hand away if he really wanted to, yet her eyes stayed on his. An unwavering gaze as he stopped moving.

Frisk looked back at the hand now in her own. A glove was covering it as usual, and she could barely see Sans wrist where the jacket wasn’t covering it. Her mind spun, trying to keep up with her own thought process as her nerves wrecked her. Her heart pounded, and she swallowed. It was just a hand. No, not just a hand. It was Sans hand within that glove.

A hand she always denied the privilege to touch her. She wasn’t scared of Sans, but the thought of a skeleton was unnerving. Skeletons were inside you, not on the outside. But this was Sans. Her Sans. And right now, things were…

He had just laughed. It was that nervous compromising laugh he always did. And Frisk always took it. Always. Not this time… Her hands were shaking, and she took another breath then another. She would do this. She wouldn’t turn back. She looked at him, knowing she had that look in her eyes.

“frisk...ya don’t…”

She looked at him, daring with her eyes for him to say it. He compromised, he always did. Maybe she was pushing herself too much. Perhaps a skeleton was too much, even with love involved. Yet he stopped and only watched her. Those eyes made her feel as though she was back in that hall. Being judged for her every action.

She could let his hand go now, and maybe he’d compromise then. Maybe they would be back where they were. Wait, no. There was no guarantee and she breathed again, that feeling coming back

She felt…

Determined.

She let her fingers brush over the edge of the glove, her heart hammered in her chest as she tugged bit by bit. Milky white bone was revealing itself, and she felt waves of his power, coiling around until being pulled back. She took a quick glance up, and his face was that stony expression, but his magic wouldn’t lie. He wasn’t that same calm, cool, collected skeleton she met and it seemed wrong he wasn’t.

That he was so nervous right now at just her removing a glove. This wasn’t how her Sans was supposed to be. She moved a hand to each finger, tugging at each digit as the world seemed to stop. His hand was finally free, and she examined it under her eyes, her hand still on the wrist of his jacket.

First the thumb, then index, then middle, then…

She stared at the next finger having no clue what it was called and started to giggle. Her body shook with laughter, and she could feel Sans eyes on her as her fingers met his.

So, warm…

It was nothing like she thought as their palms came together and he felt so alive. She had expected cold, dead fingers. She was so sure it would be coarse and rough against her own skin, and not this smooth, warm bone that seemed strangely pliant. She could feel the tingle of his magic, small sparks of blue that made her gasp softly.

Slowly he moved, and then they intertwined. A puzzle with the right piece. It fit, it wasn’t wrong. Frisk felt her fears seemed unfounded now, maybe even dumb as she felt his strange pulse. There was no heartbeat, but his soul pulsed and hummed. She could feel it as she touched him.

She could admit only caught glimpses of Sans hands. And now she was seeing the whole thing. Looking at the bones now that were so close to a human hand yet skeleton.

Her eyes glanced up, seeing Sans still staring at their hands. His own started to grip hers tightly, and she squeezed back.

“frisky…”

His voice was so quiet, she barely caught it. He sounded so much in disbelief, her eyes squinted, anger at herself starting as she felt her determination grow. She bought that hand back to her lips where they once were. Her eyes caught his, and a confused gaze was on Sans face. It made her feel special she could throw him off, he was usually always a step ahead. Her lips touched each bony digit, and he gasped. She paid attention to each part and piece that made his hand. Worshipping it as best she could.

“you touched me…”

“And I’ll touch you everyday…” She whispered back, letting his hand go against her cheek and stay there. “I’m sorry…and to answer your question, yes.”

“yes?”

“I think even the worse can change.” She felt his hand move, touching her cheek gently with his fingertips brushing against it and her eyes closed. She could feel waves a magic, she could tell he was nervous. Maybe he’s just as nervous as me... Her eyes open, and his cheekbones were stained blue. He was coming closer across the table, she felt under a spell as she leaned in halfway…

“Sans, Grillby wants to know when you’re going to pay your tab.”

Frisk jumped back into her seat, she felt like her whole body was on fire as Sans skull turned blue. She finally noticed Jenna, Grillby’s wife, right at their table and she wondered just how long the woman had been there.

“now?” Sans groaned, and Frisk still couldn’t believe she had been close to kissing him. Could skeletons even kiss? He had been leaning in too...Her mind felt a wreck, and she had no clue what was being said. Her curiosity was now piqued, and she couldn’t help but wonder.

Just how…?

“ready, frisky? i think g is gonna blow soon. you know what a hothead he can be” Sans snickered and Frisk blinked at her boyfriend wondering what just happened.

“What did you just do?”

“nothing. just gave him a date.” He grinned, standing up as his hands slipped into his pockets.

“You’re actually going to pay your tab?” Frisk was surprised, and she looked where that ungloved hand lay in his pocket. “I’m so proud of you!” She laughed, hugging him tight and tugged at that specific arm. His brow bone rose, and soon his grin was wider than she ever seen as he pulled out a hand.

“so, you’re ready?”

“Yep” She laughed, taking that hand within her own as they walked out the door. “What day did you say you’re paying him?”

“february 30th.”

“Oh, that’s goo-wait...SANS!”

 



Chapter Text


 

Sans was sure he had been dreaming. He lifted a hand in the air, nothing but bones as the sunlight peered through the blinds. The gloves were lying somewhere, Frisk had thrown them somewhere once they got home last night and she saw he had put the gloves back on. it was just in case… Even after the way she had kissed each of his fingers, it was hard to believe.

 

Golden light shined brightly over them in slivers as sunlight came through. It hit the walls, casting it in a golden light. He could hear the birds outside and was sure flowers were blooming. It reminded him of…

 

“you never gained LOVE, but you gained love…”

 

“she’s still my frisk…” He whispered it, feeling the bed shift and glanced over at her sleeping form next to him. He had almost forgotten that moment where she was starting to capture his heart, just some young woman that was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yet, he was too scared to get up. Scared to move. It reminded him of every time after a reset, where he just didn’t feel like bothering.

 

because is there really a point? will it really matter? or will it just all, go back to how it was...He couldn’t help the thoughts as they crept up on him. It wasn’t until he heard a knock on the door that he forced himself out of bed.

 

“i’m coming, i’m coming,” he mumbled as though they could hear him, as the pounding only increased. He looked back to see Frisk only pull a pillow over her head, and start to roll within the blanket as it encircled her making his laugh. “ya know, you look real comfy. Burrito be real nice if you suffered with me.”

 

“Too comfy…” She groaned, and Sans nearly used his magic to mess with her until deciding against it.  It was a good night, he’d let her rest. The next knock on the door had him rolling his penlight eyes as he left out the bedroom.

 

“sheesh, i know i’m a-door-able, but no need to beat down doors for me.” He yawned, slipping his hands into his hoodie as he leaned against the door. He couldn’t pass this up. “ya supposed to say knock, knock.” He chuckled as he heard an annoyed groan.

 

“Sans, open up. I have something important to discuss with Frisk.”

 

Sans stiffened, he knew that voice. It haunted him more lately than the monster in his nightmares back when he had them underground. His grin settled into his natural one that wouldn’t leave, but his eye sockets closed. no way, pal.

 

Things were good, things were maybe going to change. He didn’t want Eli here. Not now, or ever if he could help it. His usual not caring demeanor had left as Frisk sparked some hope in him, and with it, he felt he couldn’t afford to not care.

 

“Sans! You hear me? Open up.”

 

“loud and clear, buddy. heh. but uh, you still didn’t say knock, knock.”

“Are you serious…?” Eli sounded exasperated. “This isn’t a time for jokes.”

 

he doesn’t even like a good joke, what does frisk see in this guy…He nearly snorted until words crept up in his head. he’s human.

 

doesn’t matter...He breathed out and pulled out one hand, reminding him of last night. doesn’t matter. He kept repeating it in his head as he let his skull rest against the door.

 

“Are you listening?” Eli had knocked on the door again.

 

“still waiting for that knock, knock. my house, my rules, pal.” He chuckled, getting a kick out of hearing Eli huff from behind the door. and my woman…

 

“Fine. Knock, knock.”

 

Sans could hear the man talking through clenched teeth. “who’s there?”

 

“Eli…”

 

“eli who?”

 

“Eli Harris.” He sighed.

 

“well, that wasn’t funny,” Sans smirked, hearing a loud shout of annoyance from behind the door.

 

“Sans?”

 

He looked over, seeing Frisk was out of her blanket burrito, her hair was wet and he guessed she took a shower. The best part was she was in one of his shirts and her shorts. definitely, a good day...

 

“nice outfit.” He chuckled and watched Frisk turn a shade a red.

 

“I just threw on something…” Her blushing only got worse and Sans nearly forgot the guy on the other side of the door, but unfortunately, he started knocking again.

 

“Frisk, is that you?”

 

Frisk had gone still, looking at the door. “Eli?”

 

“Oh, thank God. I was telling Sans, I need to talk to you but your boyfriend doesn’t seem to realize how important our work is. Especially when it benefits his kind.” Eli had a tone to his voice that Sans didn’t like and he was sure that the man had emphasized “his kind”.

 

“If anyone realizes how important things are, it’s Sans,” Frisk said back, and Sans couldn’t help feeling smug at her coming to his defense though as she headed to the door part of him was sinking. “Sans, I need to open the door.” She looked at him and he looked back, his mind screaming no even though he knew it really could be work.

 

but what if it’s something else…

 

“Sans?” She looked at him, and he tried to read her. Moments passed and he slowly started to move, letting his hands stay in his pockets as she opened the door.

 

“Hey, Eli.” She blushed as the man hugged her as soon as the door opened. The hug lingered and Sans cleared his throat as Eli glanced at him in confusion at him interrupting.

 

not this time...Sans pulled Frisk over to him, and she looked surprised at him. He only smiled and held out a hand to Eli.

 

“nice to see you again, pal.” Sans grin widened and Eli looked from Frisk to Sans with a perplexed expression. The man eyed the hand for a moment until slowly moving to shake it and a loud fart noise filled the room. “the ol’ whoopie cushion in the hand trick, always gets ‘em. right, frisk?” He laughed just as Frisk covered her mouth to hold back her own laughter.

 

“Right…”

 

“It was only a joke, Eli. Lighten up?” Frisk smiled at Sans, and Sans was nearly distracted from the slight movement the man made to wipe his hand on his pants leg.

 

“Yes, well. Right now, isn’t the time for jokes. We have a problem…”

 

“Something happened?” Frisk’s attention left Sans and went to Eli as the man frowned at her.

 

“Is there somewhere we can talk more private?”

 

“i think here’s fine,” Sans suggested with a grin and Frisk glanced at him. He had no clue what was going through that head of hers as she looked between him and Eli.

 

“Okay, then here.” Her voice sounded nervous, as she started moving and Sans didn’t miss the pinch of Eli’s brows as he followed her to the couch. She twiddled her fingers as Eli sat down a notebook and Sans stayed against a wall, using his magic to bring a bottle of ketchup to him from out the kitchen.

 

“Do you have to just stand there?” Eli turned to look at Sans as he chugged back the bottle.

 

“oh, you’re asking me to sit. well, aren’t you so sweet?” Sans laughed, wasting no time to sit as he laughed inwardly at the expression on Eli’s face. “maybe i red you wrong, pal. we should ketchup one day and talk.”

 

“Talk?” Frisk nearly squeaked and Sans glanced over at her, she was fidgeting now. Before he would have left to skip this large bit of awkward, but he had no plans of doing it now.

 

“Anyway…” Eli let out a deep breath. “Some of the monster businesses are being targeted…”

 

“Targeted?” Frisk frowned. “Oh, no. No one’s hurt, are they?”

 

“No, nothing like that.” Eli shook his head. “Just angry letters to business owners, and bad reviews with little to no basis. It could amount to nothing, but I was thinking at least restaurant wise it might not be a bad idea for you to show up to some.”

 

Sans cut his penlight eyes at Eli. what are you up to...

 

“That’s actually a great idea” she smiled. “I can go in, talk to the owners and even some of the customers.”

 

“Even better than that, I was thinking me and you could have meals there together”

 

“what…” Sans magic flared around him and he tried to keep the urge to summon a gaster blaster down. “how’s that a good idea? no offense buddy, but wouldn’t it make more sense for her to go with me. i am a monster and her boyfriend.” Sans took another drink of ketchup as Eli looked at him and he looked back. “not to mention i’m really popular.”

 

“Popular or not, your presence carries no weight...friend.” Eli smiled, and Sans guessed it was supposed to be dazzling but it wasn’t working.

 

“and yours does?”

 

“Well, yes. I am the Monster Ambassador's assistant and my father has a strong political standing within the city. We make an excellent team and a great match. Don’t you think?”

 

Sans nearly huffed, his eyes glanced to Frisk to see her looking between the two of them.

 

“Eli...um…” She fidgeted again and Sans gave her his full attention as he tried to force back a glare. don’t frisk...Sans could tell it was just an excuse, some way to pull Frisk back over to him after she had ignored his call last night. we were getting somewhere…

 

“Frisk, you know it’s a good idea. And I know you.” Eli moved closer to Frisk and Sans eye sockets were narrowing. “You want to protect them all. You want to save them all. And I realize how hard it must have been down there alone with no one to look after you but now you have someone in your corner.”

 

“she had protection…” Sans spoke out and saw both Frisk and Eli look over at him.

 

“Oh, yeah. I forgot, sorry.” Eli chuckled. “You were the one that made that promise to her mom, right? The one where you wouldn’t kill her, I wonder what would have happened if she hadn’t said anything…”

 

Sans stiffened, as he watched Frisk go still. He already knew what she was thinking as he watched the light leave her eyes.

 

“You’d be dead where you stand.” The words from the underground echoed in his head.

 

frisk...He looked at her and then looked at Eli, he felt like glaring at the man but for what. Eli did nothing, that was all him. i wish i never said that…

 

“But I’m just saying that Frisk can count on me. That’s all.” Eli smiled but Sans could read between the lines. He’d protect Frisk, no promise to someone else needed. “So…” Eli turned back to Frisk. “Just think about it?”  He smiled and gave her a hug as Frisk nodded wordlessly.

 

Sans didn’t even bother to move as he heard the door close behind the man and the room was not silent. He glanced at Frisk, bangs in her eyes and her mouth in a thin line. He didn’t have to brush the hair away to know she was squinting. She always did that when deep in thought, her eyes would be barely open.

 

She started moving towards the kitchen and Sans grabbed her arm, pulling her to him. She stiffened in his arms and he only held her tighter.

 

“i’m sorry…”

 

“I know…” She whispered, slowly relaxing but this time he knew it had nothing to do with his bones. He was the skeleton that promised her death, it was fitting. And he hated it.

 

“don’t go…” He didn’t want to sound broken, but the fight was leaving. Hope was disappearing before his eyes and he was grasping at straws with how to fix it. “frisk...i…”

 

She moved away from him, skipping the kitchen and going to the bedroom. He went to follow and stopped at the doorway at the sight of the phone in her hand.

 

she’s going to call him...

 

it’s all going down the drain to start again…another reset.

 

 


 

 

Chapter Text


 

Frisk stared at the phone, her fingers hovered over the familiar number. One number and it’d speed dial to Eli, and she wouldn't have to think about any of this. The words from the ruins repeated over and over in her head.

 

do you get what i’m saying? that promise i made to her...you know what would have happened if she hadn’t said anything?

 

She sniffed, not wanting to complete the memory as he shoulders sagged and she felt like crying like she did that night in the Underground. She had stayed under the covers, not wanting to move or do anything as she just cried that night. It hurt to hear.

 

And the monsters needed her to help them with things like this, right? Eli’s plan made sense… She breathed out, not knowing what to think as her mind went back to Sans again.

 

She knew he didn’t owe her anything. It shouldn't have been any surprise to hear that the only reason he didn’t kill her was because of her mom. Though it had, she had started falling the moment he told her he’d watch out for her.  It had been so much time since then, she wasn’t that same young woman who fell.

 

Yet, time hadn’t made the words disappear.

 

It still hurts…

 

She bit and chewed her lip, letting her finger close in as her eyes shut. Her heart raced, and she went to press the button, only for it not to move as she wanted. Her eyes snapped open, and she stared at the vision in front of her of glowing blue magic surrounding her finger and then to Sans in the doorway.

 

His eye pulsed between light blue and yellow as his hand was out, and he kept it steady. She couldn’t help but stare at the coils of magic coming from his palm and fingertips. She’d seen it with gloves, but without them, it looked different. Wild, alive and unrestricted.

 

“Sans?” She breathed out his name, and suddenly he was in front of her, gripping her hand as magic traveled down her fingers in a caress and around her wrists.

 

 

She barely realized when he pinned her to the bed. His hand going to her cheek, as his fingers traced her skin.

 

“no.” His voice was quiet, the one iris pulsed faster as though it was a heartbeat itself. That steady grin, tight on his face as it grew wider. “just no.”

 

She swallowed, not knowing what to think as her back was on the bed and she looked up at him. Her breathing was going ragged, and she had no idea what to think, they’d never been like this before.

 

“What are you doing…?” She whispered, and his head bowed, his hands moved from her as she watched him go to the zipper of his hoodie and start to pull it downward. “Sans?” She asked again, trying to move as she began to struggle and he suddenly stopped, staring at her with one empty socket and one eye pulsing with magic.

 

“what is it? what can he do that’s so great?” He questioned her in a voice so harsh, she would have thought it was clenched teeth if not for his tight smile. “Tell me, Frisk!” He yelled, leaving her blinking up at him.

 

“I... I don’t…I’m not...” She stuttered, not sure how to answer.

 

He breathed out, his bones were rattling as silence came between them and her mouth gaped at the sight of his mouth opening. He can open his mouth?

 

“is it because he kisses you...is that it?” He laughed, a bitter one full of anguish and pain that ripped through Frisk’s heart. “is it?” He sneered, pressing closer to her now as she started to feel the weight of his body with a blue glow growing in his mouth.

 

His fingers went to her chin, tilting it enough as he leaned in and she could see it better now. That glow of magic forming, and twisting into shape as it became a tongue. Her mouth parted with her eyes widening at the display.

 

“i can kiss you, frisky. as much as you want.” His tongue peeked out, grazing over his teeth as she got a good look at it and she started to struggle again as she saw a weird look on his face. A determination she never saw before.

 

“Sans, you’re scaring me!”

 

His sockets blinked the magic lifting. All she saw was empty sockets and next they were dim penlight eyes as he looked away, and backed away quickly. His magic still curled around him, swirling like flames as that one iris flashed from penlight to something else.

 

“i’m sorry…” His hand went over his skull, and he sunk to the floor. Her heart was still racing, trying to figure out what just happened as she pushed the phone to the side. She couldn’t’ remember him ever being like this.

 

It’s my fault...She frowned, going over to him slowly only for her hand to touch nothing as she reached forward.

 

“don’t…” He mumbled, now in another area as he fixed his hoodie and she could see his mouth was set back into its usual permanent grin. Almost like it never happened…

 

“But…” The words seemed stuck, she wasn’t sure what to say, and her eyes went back to the phone then to Sans. She could see him looking at the phone too.

 

“go ahead and call him, kid.”

 

She glared then, “So we’re supposed to pretend then?”

 

“it’s what you do best, isn’t it?”

 

Her mouth shut, and she looked away from him. “That’s not true...it’s not. And I... you…”

 

“i’m just a monster to ya. a walking dead monster…”

 

“Don’t say that!”

 

“and tibia honest… i’m tired…” Sans magic finally started dimming, and she watched him hang on the edge of the bed. His hand went over the phone, and he slowly held it out. “so here.”

 

Her eyes landed on the phone, it was tempting. To call, forget this happened because it still hurt from before. Those words repeated, and Eli kept all his promises. She chewed her lip…

 

But there’s Sans…

 

The phone was between them both, and she could feel him watching her every move. She could still remember her crush on the skeleton, the on that grew from his puns and their small talks. The way she started hoping she’d see him. But then came that pain that it was nothing but a promise. A promise her mother made him do.

 

I want to go back, to when it was new. Fresh, untouched and pure. But we’re way past that point, and now I love you.

 

But then there’s him…

 

“why are you still here, frisk?”

 

 


 

 

Chapter Text


 

 

He kept holding it out, nothing but a phone between them. Frisk’s eyes were wide, as he fought the war inside him. Every crack, break to his soul as it started crumbling.  He could laugh, it wouldn’t be the one from his nightmares to do him in. No, it’d be Frisk.

and I didn’t even get to show off my blasters. oh, well…He kept on with the inward laugh. He wished he never made that promise. He never liked them, but something told him to take Toriel’s. He told Frisk it was the jokes and Toriel’s nature, but even then, that hadn’t been what stopped him from killing her.

If she’d been a monster, one more step I would break the promise in an instant…she’d have a really bad time…

His magic was on edge, whirling inside him, his emotions made it hard to contain. It was at odds with his dangerously low hp and defense. Just yesterday he could feel it grow when he had that will to fight. It had been higher, he had been healing, but now he was breaking even further than before.

Still, she hadn’t moved, staring at him to the phone and back again.

“come on, call kid.” He saw her glare, and he knew she hated that.

“Stop calling me that!” Fisk yelled out, screaming with her hands gripped into fists at her side. “I’m not a child!”

well, that’s new…

kid…”

“Stop, and I mean it!” Her teeth were clenched, and her usual reddish-brown eyes were more red than usual. “Kid. My child. Kiddo.” She sneered, and Sans could see her breathing heavily. “You want to know how many times Papy calls me kid? Or Alphys? Or Mettaton? Or Napstablook? Or even Undyne!”  She yelled. “Do you?”

“look…”

“None!” She interrupted. “You want to know what Eli does? Do you?” Her eyes were pure red, and Sans own sockets narrowed as he stood from the bed. The air between them was electric. “Do you, Sansy?” she sneered, and Sans let his hands rest in his pocket.

“not a clue, buddo. but I bet you’ll throw me a bone…”

“He respects me!” She hissed, and Sans stood there as he tried to keep the threads of control. Magic tingled at his fingertips, threatening to break free as he watched her. Her breathing was heavy, and he swore he could see her SOUL even without a check as it shown brilliantly. A crimson red that matched her eyes.

The phone was in his pocket now, and he felt it vibrate against his left hand. He could have snorted at the irony of it all. The timing. The fact it was the left and not the right. nothing’s going right anyway, no wonder it’s all left…Once again he could have laughed.

 

“so, he respects ya, huh?” Sans watched her eyes narrow. “and I don’t?”

“Always kid…it always was kid. Every time kid. Kiddo.” Frisk continued getting louder, and that glow was burning now. “You didn’t even want to protect me! I did it all myself!”

“and you think eli can do better?”

“Yes!” She cried out, her eyes widening as her hands went to her mouth as Sans felt his eyes go dim. He wasn’t sure what to say as he felt his magic swallowing him in the familiar feeling to get away.

“No, Sans. Wai-“

Blue surrounded him, and soon flowers were everywhere surrounding him, Sans looked around in surprise at where his magic took him.  Above him sparkled like the familiar fake night sky he’d seen so many times.

definitely not grillby’s…He rubbed a hand over his face, as he sunk down to the ground brushing against a large flower.

“Don’t you have any wishes, Sans?”

His head snapped to the flower, he felt sure he heard his name as he brushed against it again and heard the flower repeat it. And he nearly said Frisk’s name until getting up to walk along a path. Back when they were Underground, he’d take shortcuts, yet he didn’t trust his magic enough to teleport again.

Curiosity grabbed hold of him as he purposely moved against another echo flower.  He could hear their voices, their pleas while in the Wishing Room. And sometimes he’d hear Frisk’s mutterings, things she said to herself.

“I wonder if Sans ever saw the sky…”

“I bet Papy would love a medieval room, Undyne too.”

“One day I should take MK to a wrestling match…” Her laugh rang out, and he could also hear the many tries. The resets…He would have to read the person’s expression, and it’d tell him a lot. Sometimes he remembered more than he wanted to, but it seemed Frisk remembered each time completely.

“I don’t know what to do next…”

He was surprised to hear that. Every time he saw Frisk, she looked so determined and ready to try. She had moved through his brother’s puzzles quickly and put a smile on his face. No puzzle seemed a match for her, nor any monster for her kindness.

“I really want to trust Alphys, but it hurts to hear it…”

“Alph?” He frowned, wondering what happened as he kept walking. Slowly hearing Frisk’s mutterings on random flowers as they started to turn confused, and dark. And every time he thought her thoughts couldn’t go darker, they slowly did.

“I don’t want to do this anymore…”

no, my frisk is always determined…that can’t be right…right? He wasn’t sure what to think. He did watch her, but he could admit he didn’t watch her as he should.

you looked like you were doing fine, each time I saw ya you looked okay...

“I’m all alone…”

He sighed, stopping at that one and sitting down. Brushing against it again and again, as he wondered. what all did you have to do, frisky…how many resets…how many times did you die?

“I didn’t protect you, huh?” He sighed. “guess I wasn’t ready for the responsibility…” and now we’re both a ton of work…a skele-ton. heh…He gave a humorless laugh, watching the twinkle of the roof above him.

and now you’re gonna call that dumb human. but I told you to. My fault there…He brought a hand to his chest, feeling a pain go through him. definitely not good… With one hand, he called on his magic to check himself though he already had a feeling.

Sans ATK (X) DEF (X)

HP 0.3

shit…

 


 

Chapter Text


 

Frisk held a hand over her mouth, looking at the phone now as though it was poison and pushed it far from her as her eyes went back to that spot Sans once stood. “Sans?” She tried calling out his name, willing for something to happen. “Sans?”

She wasn’t sure what she was hoping for as she looked down at her hands, shaking her head at herself as she ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She felt disgusted with herself and blinked at the eyes staring back at her as though they were foreign. “I’m sorry…” She bowed her head, unable to look at herself anymore as she left the bathroom, and she picked up the phone on her way to the main room of their place.

Plopping down on the couch, her eyes were on the screen as Eli’s contact name stared back at her taunting and teasing her. He never took it off his name…

She looked at it sadly, realizing why Sans had done so. “You made it so easy to press the button, and continue...huh Sans?” Taking a deep breath, she tried to think, though she kept thinking back to where her boyfriend may have gone.  “I need to find him.” Getting up, and bringing the phone back to the home screen as she pocketed it, she made sure she was dressed in something comfortable and stopped at the front door.

“But where…?” She whispered to herself, grabbing her keys and purse trying to figure out where to head first especially with the time of day. Her brows furrowed, trying to piece together something until her eyes widened. “Grillby.” Taking off, she went out the door, feeling a new determination inside her to fix this.

Getting on the streets, Frisk looked around in confusion and immediately felt horrible as she pulled out her phone for its GPS. “I should know this…” She frowned as she tapped in the restaurant name.

“You forgot the apostrophe between Grillby and the s.”

“Than-Ah!” Frisk jumped, hearing the laughter of the woman behind her as she placed a hand on her chest, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there. I was just…”

“On your way to my husband’s restaurant and can’t even remember where it is?” She gave a slight smirk, and Frisk blushed, fidgeting as she wondered what this woman may think of her. “You don’t really remember me at all do you?” She gave a chuckle as Frisk shook her head, feeling more embarrassed.

“I’m really really sorry.”

“It’s fine,” She waved it off with a smile as she held out a hand, “It’s Jenna.”

Frisk smiled as she took it, hoping to not embarrass herself more as she shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, Jenna, I’m…”

“Frisk.” Jenna finished. “The ambassador and hero of monsters.” She continued as Frisk’s cheeks heated up at the title. “Trust me, everyone knows you, Frisk. I’m on the way to Grillby’s now. Want to come with?” She started walking, and Frisk fell in beside her.

“So, um…” Frisk tried to figure out what to say to the woman, “How’s life?” She immediately cringed at how that must have sounded as she heard Jenna laugh beside her.

 

“For such a huge title, I would have expected you to be more of a talker but…” Her eyes went to Frisk. “I’m not too surprised.”

“What do you mean?” Frisk turned to her as they drew close to the restaurant and Jenna stopped.

“Only that usually opposites attract, and Sans is a huge hit here. He’s the only one I know who could probably make friends out of his worst enemy if he wanted to.” She laughed, and Frisk thought back to Flowey.

“I’m not so sure about that.”

“Well, you’d know better than me” Jenna opened the door. Once inside Frisk’s hope died at the lack of a skeleton and Jenna disappeared to the back. “Everything okay?” Jenna called out to her as she came back, coming up to the counter as Frisk sat down on a barstool with a frown and bowed her head.

“I was just hoping….”

“Sans, was here?”

Jenna’s question had Frisk’s head rise, and she looked back at the woman. “Have you seen him? I’m looking for him and…” She trailed off, not sure what to say to that as she felt Jenna’s eyes on her.  The woman brushed back strands of dark hair that came out her ponytail and Frisk heard a deep sigh as the woman made her way to the front and sat with Frisk wordlessly.

“Frisk, I’m going to be honest with you. If I did know where Sans was, I probably wouldn’t tell you.” Her blunt words made Frisk’s eyes go wide, but as she opened her mouth, Jenna only continued. “I’m a bartender here, and you hear a lot of stuff. See a lot of stuff.” The woman gestured outward, and Frisk glanced at the other patrons. “And from what I see, you’ll be the death of him.” Jenna slid back in the stool, and Frisk glared at the accusation.

“How dare you say that! You don’t even know me!”

“I know a man who misses the love of his life when I see it.” Jenna snapped at her, “You think he’s the first guy to walk in here and their woman is stepping out?” And yes, I say, guy, not monster or human.” Her eyes stayed on Frisk as her mouth gaped.

“I…I never see a differen-” Frisk started, only to be interrupted.

“Try that with anyone else Frisk, but not me. “

“Are you really calling the person who saved all monsters some kind of racist?”

“Not racist exactly, but not very accepting either.” Jenna plopped down right beside her and Frisk folded her arms across her chest. She didn’t care how much truth was in the woman’s words, hearing it out loud made her feel vulnerable.

“And let me guess, you’re the epitome of loving monsters?” Frisk huffed, only to blink in surprise at Jenna’s sudden laughter that made others stare at them a moment. She tried hard not to duck down in her seat more, to get the stares off a bit. The last thing she wanted was others to talk about how she had an argument with Grillby’s wife, and the woman laughed at her. “Could you quiet down a bit…? This conversation is a bit personal.”

“Sorry, sweetie.” Jenna laughed more, wiping at her eyes with her fingers. “That was just a really good one.” The woman gave a grin that Frisk wasn’t sure how to decipher.

“You…weren’t good with Grillby then?” She tried not to sound too curious, but she was sure it was evident with the way Jenna had a cheeky smile. “You’re enjoying this way too much…”

“Only a little, how about I get us some drinks.” Jenna smiled, getting up as she confused Frisk more. She was sure this woman either hated her or disliked her, yet now she was serving drinks to her. “So, what will it be?”

 

The question left Frisk baffled as she still tried to figure out the other woman’s motive, “I…just surprise me…”

“You got it.” Jenna set to work, moving with a grace around the bar as she tossed bottles and poured drinks. Frisk was sure she’d drop something but was left amazed. A glass was put in front of her quickly, and Frisk sniffed it, unsure of the contents as she watched Jenna make herself a glass before sitting back down. “Are you going to try it or keep staring at it?”

Her smirk got Frisk glaring, the determined part of her taking control as she grabbed the back and gulped the whole thing back only to soon regret it. Her chest burned, her eyes watered, and for a moment she was sure she was dying as she let out a cough and could hear Jenna’s laugher.

“Grillby was right, you are definitely a determined little thing.” Jenna chuckled as Frisk sent another glare, trying to be intimidating as she could. “If it makes you feel any better, you handled it pretty well.” She smiled, drumming her fingers on the counter with a thoughtful expression. “I did mean what I said though. Earlier.”

“That you know a man who’s missing their love when you see them?”

“I was actually talking about your acceptance, but that works too.”  Jenna gave a sly look, but Frisk just ignored it as she noticed a new glass now in front of her. She looked at Jenna suspiciously as she watched the woman drink from her own glass. “It’s a special brew, trust me, you’ll thank me later when your head isn’t feeling like a train hit it.”

 

“Thanks…” Frisk didn’t mean to mumble, but she was still unsure what to think of the other woman. Her mind went to Jenna’s other words and what she said about Grillby. “Were you?”

 

“Was I what?”

 

“Accepting of Grillby?” Frisk sipped the drink cautiously, the bitter taste made her grimace, but instead of a remark, Jenna looked thoughtful. She was quickly getting used to the woman’s blunt behavior, and her mind went to Undyne with a frown. She was sure her friend would not be happy if she knew.

“A guy made of fire…no. I was scared out my mind.” Jenna looked at her, the honest answer made Frisk pause. “I kept thinking if I touch him or let him touch me I might become cooked meat.” Jenna laughed. “Turns out, I was really silly.”

 

“But…how did you get over it…?” Frisk tried to ignore the way Jenna looked at her now, as she focused on the glass in her hand. “I just….”

 

“You want to know how to accept your skeleton boyfriend…but here’s the thing Frisk.” Jenna sighed, “I think the fear of being burnt to a crisp is a good reason to be cautious. No one’s getting hurt from cadavers last I heard.”

“Do you have to say it like that?” Frisk shrieked, earning another stare from others as she tried to shrink back again. “I can’t help it. And we are getting somewhere. “She thought to how she made a step with Sans taking his gloves off.

“And five steps back it seems…” Jenna gave her a look, and Frisk sighed, feeling unsure once again. “You’re a horrible person, Frisk.”

“Gee…thanks…” Frisk frowned as Jenna shrugged at her.

“Someone needed to say it, because obviously your boyfriend is too busy kissing your ass to, and the monsters who are his friends are too damn nice to call you out on your bullshit.”

 

“You mean Grillby,” Frisk thought it over, as Jenna gave a nod to her. “Just how much of this is your personality, or are you drunk?”

 

“A bit of both,” Jenna smirked, getting up once again. “So, either let the poor guy go so he can find someone else.”

 

“Like who?” Frisk stared at her, the thought not in her head as she pictured Sans with someone else that wasn’t her. Leaving her was always a maybe, but she never thought of the after. When he’d move on, and some other girl would get his attention. Her eye twitched and her teeth grinded together as she pictured the harlot that would dare take him from her. “I’m not letting him go.” She looked at Jenna fiercely, but the woman only stared back at her nonplussed.

“You’re really horrible, Frisk… like a demon getting a kick out of yo-yoing someone around. Back and forth, or is it more like over and over. The same thing day in and day out…being with you must be like that movie Groundhog Day.”

“I’m not like that…” Frisk swallowed, trying to not let those words bother her. “I’m not. I love Sans, and he knows I do.”

“Well…I did say you know better than me.” Jenna slid from the counter, leaving Frisk alone and with her thoughts.

 

 


Heartless!Sans & Heartless!Frisk

Chapter Text


 

Sans laid in his old bed with his sockets closed, until he had to get up as usual to at least feed his hunger with anything that was still left in the fridge. The fact it was all still fresh was a testament to monster food, though when it came to the edible part, that part could be very wrong when it came to his brother's old spaghetti. Sans was more than glad his brother’s cooking gotten better over the years, even though Papyrus managed to make everything great even when it wasn’t.

 

Hunger hadn’t hit him yet, and he didn’t want to move still as thoughts swam more in his head and Frisk’s name kept popping up in his head. “damn it, frisky…”

 

He couldn’t get her out head no matter how much time passed, and how much he tried. He resigned himself to their old house Underground as he tried to think of what he could do next. He’d let Frisk have the apartment, he and Papyrus could find a place.  The fight that had sparked in him had long since left, he no longer saw the point.

 

He rather just give up.

 

It felt like the Underground all over again. With that low point that Sans kept having, and nothing felt worth it.

 

“she can be happy with that human…” He mumbled it, grumbling as he put a pillow over his head and he could hear the spin of his trash tornado still going in the corner. He could swear he heard a door slam, but he didn’t feel like moving. He was tired and done.

 

“SANS!”

 

He shot up quickly, the pillow flying off him and to the floor as he looked around and his door nearly came off the hinges from the assault of his room’s visitor after a loud knock.

 

“pap?” He blinked seeing his little brother, wondering if he was losing it now as he clearly remembered the trip was supposed to be for a while. Though the point of it him taking the vacation was now lost, things were getting nowhere with him and Frisk.

 

“WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE, DEAR BROTHER?” Papyrus laughed, sitting on the edge of the bed with Sans surprise turning to worry as his brother’s expression turned to his rare serious one. “SANS...WHY ARE YOU HERE?”

 

“uh…” He felt unsure how to answer. Usually, Sans would pun and bullshit his way out his brother’s questioning. His hand rubbed the back of his neck, it was still a bit strange to now be out of his gloves so much. “that’s not how the knock knock joke goes, bro.” His fake laughter was short lived as Papyrus’s face became more serious and it was a near glare at him. “paps..”

 

“STOP!” Papyrus crossed his arms with a look at him, “YOU ALWAYS DO THAT! AND USUALLY, I LET IT GO BECAUSE I CAN TELL YOU’RE GOING THROUGH A LOT SO I DON’T PUSH! AND I ALWAYS TELL MYSELF HE’LL TALK TO ME ONE DAY AND THE LEAST I CAN DO IS CONTINUE TO BE A GREAT, COOL BROTHER HE CAN DEPEND ON!”

 

“you do, bro... i ju-”

 

“BUT YOU NEVER DO! AND WHEN WE FIRST GOT TO THE SURFACE THINGS SEEMED TO GET BETTER FOR YOU SO I AGAIN DIDN’T PUSH AND THOUGHT THINGS WOULD BE OKAY! YOU AND FRISK WERE SO HAPPY, BUT I CAN TELL YOU ARE LIKE YOU WERE BEFORE...MAYBE...MAYBE EVEN WORSE….” Papyrus looked away and sighed. “SO PLEASE SANS...YOU’RE MY BIG BROTHER AND... I’M WORRIED.”

 

Sans sockets went wide as he thought over his brother’s words and slowly moved over, sitting close to his brother. He was at a loss of words what to say, he was used to trying to keep things together best he could for Papyrus’s sake, but at the same time, he had gotten so low he barely was a good brother or much else. He could admit that. if that nightmare of frisk would have come true and she killed everyone, would i have even cared enough to stop her from hurting paps…. or would have waited until there was absolutely nothing left?

 

“SANS?”

 

He felt the nudge to his side and sighed, “how you knew i was here? or to look for me…?”

 

“FRISK….”

 

“frisk?” He stared at his brother in confusion as Papyrus nodded his head.

 

“YES! SHE SAID SHE HAS BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU FOR WEEKS!” Papyrus exclaimed as Sans looked on at his brother in disbelief as his brother’s words repeated in his skull. “SHE SAID SHE DIDN’T WANT TO CALL AT FIRST BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T WANT TO RUIN OUR VACATION, BUT SHE …. SHE SAID SHE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. I CAN REMEMBER THOSE TYPE OF FEELINGS….”

 

“oh…” He looked back down again, his hands going into his pockets as he tried to picture what was hard to believe. Frisk actually looking for him. but why...she has that human. “you’re sure paps, cuz…”

 

“SHE EVEN RECRUITED GRILLBY’S WIFE IN HER SEARCH!”

 

“jenna?” Sans looked more confused, knowing how the woman was with her bluntness and quick to pass judgment behavior that she could have. The woman was a loyal friend, but even he knew Jenna was never the type to not tell a person what they thought of them. He immediately groaned, thinking of the many times he was in the bar, he could already guess how she handled Frisk. Yet…. Frisk still wanted the woman’s help. she must be really desperate…. He wished he had a bottle ketchup right now.

 

“WHAT’S GOING ON, SANS?” His brother’s voice was softer than its usual volume, and Sans knew he couldn’t lie or joke this time as his sockets closed.

 

“honestly, bro... i thought she’d be better off.” Sans looked off to a wall of his room. “a human with another human maybe an-”

 

“HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK SUCH A THING?” Papyrus yelled.

 

“Cuz she was already doin’ it!” He yelled as his brother stared at him and he looked away immediately feeling bad for it. He had never used that font on Papyrus, no matter how angry he’d get. But he felt some relief in telling someone, though part of him wished it wasn’t Papyrus. Putting this on his younger brother seemed wrong, but as he felt a hand to his shoulder his head bowed feeling glad for the supporting gesture. “she even said he respects her and i don’t...because of the kid thing and stuff. and i guess...she feels i didn’t protect her.” He thought back to those flowers that echoed her voice.

 

“DID YOU?”

 

It was an innocent question, but as Sans opened his mouth to answer, he realized he could have done better. He had done the bare minimum like he had with everything, reassuring himself she was fine because when he saw her. She did indeed look fine, though he remembered that look she gave when he asked if she ever died and inside he cringed. “no…”

 

“HAVE YOU TWO TRIED TALKING, BROTHER?” Papyrus head tilted as he looked at his brother and once again Sans didn’t have a good answer as he shook his head leaving Papyrus confused. “WELL....” Papyrus grew silent, and Sans wondered what could his brother possibly think of him and Frisk now. “I THINK YOU BOTH COULD DO A LITTLE BETTER!”

 

“huh?” The answer surprised him as he looked at Papyrus’s thoughtful expression.

 

“YOU BOTH MESSED UP! AND AS ONE OF MY FAVORITE STORIES SAYS, TWO WRONGS DO NOT MAKE A RIGHT! AND YOU BOTH HAVE BEEN DOING THINGS HORRIBLY WRONG! SO, IT IS A GOOD THING I’M HERE TO TELL YOU BOTH THE RIGHT WAY TO DO THINGS!” Papyrus grinned, standing up as Sans watched his brother’s cape wave. Anyone else he would ask where the wind came from, but with Papyrus he put it down to his brother’s coolness. “SO, BROTHER, WE SHOULD GET GOING AND GET YOUR FRISK!”

 

“ ‘kay.” Sans chuckled getting up, only to see Papyrus stared at him and his brother’s finger over his chin. “uh, sup bro?”

“SANS, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS BUT…YOU STINK!”

 

“it can’t be that bad, bro. i’m pretty ‘stunk’ on you.”

 

“SANS, THAT WAS HORRIBLE!” Papyrus fought back a smile as Sans saw the edges of it forming.

 

“you’re smiling.”

 

“AND I HATE IT!”

 

 

 

Chapter Text

 


 

“It’s been weeks, Frisk. You haven’t slept, and I know you haven’t been eating properly either.” Jenna sighed. “And what about that hair of yours?” She continued while looking her over though Frisk herself knew what she must look like. Dark circles under her eyes, baggy clothes and her hair she usually kept straightened and cut short was a mess of curls.

 

Getting Jenna to help her was a desperate move, but at the same time, she was slowly getting used to the woman’s blunt mannerisms. “Done yet?” Frisk heard Jenna let out a loud sigh and she rolled her eyes. “First, you’re mad at me that I’m not trying hard enough for Sans, and now you’re getting mad that I’m trying too hard?”  

 

Frisk snapped, her emotions being all over the place made it hard to keep her usual control. She kept going over and over the different places he may have gone in her head. He didn’t go to Grillby’s, he wasn’t with their friends and that last decision to call had been another desperate maneuver.  Her heart was heavy and not knowing what to do made her feel as helpless as when she was last in the Underground, she swallowed in more breaths of air as all her actions crashed into her.

 

What did I do? What did I do? Sans….

 

“Frisk!”

 

Jenna’s voice was loud and clear as she heard the other woman taking slow breaths, and she barely noticed that she was holding on to her. Subconsciously Frisk mimicked her, in and out, deep breaths that slowly brought her back to some kind of stability.

 

“Sorry...” Her voice came out timid, and Jenna frowned, Frisk wasn’t used to such a face as she was led to a bench.  “What do I do? I…” She trailed off, no clue what to say next.

 

“I know.” Jenna sighed again. She had started rubbing Frisk’s back, and it helped a bit as she watched people stroll past. The gentle movement reminded her of Toriel whenever she was ill, and she couldn’t help but feel appreciative as she looked at Jenna to hear her continue to speak. “And I’m not mad at you, especially not for trying to find your boyfriend. You messed up, it happens….”

 

“I thought you were perfect and knew nothing of mess ups,” Frisk laughed as Jenna joined in.

 

“I wish.” Silence took over as Frisk turned from Jenna back to everyone walking. The sight of monsters and humans being able to walk down the same street gave her pride. A monster child playing with human children. A woman having a lunch date with her monster friend. It was nice.

 

“All of this is because of you.” Frisk looked surprised at the other woman, only for Jenna to give a knowing smirk. “I work in a bar Frisk, it’s my job to be able to guess what a person thinks… and even what they need to hear. I even give advice sometimes. “She smiled and looked towards the street like Frisk did. “But if it makes you feel any better, I don’t completely get it. If not for you, I would have never met Grillby. But yet you….”

 

“Hurt Sans…” Frisk finished, swallowing as she clasped her hands together. “It wasn’t on purpose…”

 

“I’m not saying it was…”

 

“I mean, he’s a skeleton…”

 

“Mmhm.” Jenna agreed. “He is definitely that…”

 

“And skeletons are supposed to be inside you, you know?” Frisk challenged as Jenna nodded again in agreement.

 

“I agree.”

 

“And it’s just so crazy, I mean… a skeleton… on the OUTSIDE. “Frisk sighed. “When I first saw him, I nearly took off running for my life!”

 

“And what stopped you?” Jenna questioned carefully.

 

“He did a whoopie cushion joke.” Frisk started to laugh as she started thinking back fondly on the memory with a gentle smile. “Everything had… no was insane.” She started to wring her hands, not noticing Jenna watching every movement she made closely. “Falling down there I had no clue what to expect, and from the moment I landed it was…” Frisk just shook her head as though ridding herself of memories.

 

“Was what?” Jenna pushed gently as Frisk slowly turned to look at Jenna, her control of her emotions had failed. Her face showed everything as Frisk barely held to her edge of sanity.

 

“It was hell.” Frisk swallowed and quickly looked back at her hands as she wrung them together. “But then I met Sans,” she smiled again slowly as her hands became steady. “Every time i saw him he had a joke and even as bad as their situation was he always seemed to make others happy especially Papy. ” She looked back at Jenna again. “How could I not start falling for someone like that?”

 

“You mean a guy who always smells like ketchup, wears his clothes too big and has way too many stains on his clothes. Oh, and lazy! He sleeps all the time..” Jenna held out her hand, pointing to each finger as she numbered Sans issues making Frisk huff. “You disagree?”

 

“It’s just, there’s more to him to that. Yes, he’s lazy, and all those things but… he had more than one job down there Jenna, on top of encouraging his brother. He’s kind, considerate, and just so sweet… honestly, I don’t even think he realizes what such a good person he is.” Frisk frowned as it slowly dawned on her. “And I’m not really helping, am I?”

 

“Well…” Jenna trailed off and cleared her throat. “You really want your opinion?”

 

“Nope.” Frisk said quickly, knowing exactly what was coming next out of Jenna’s mouth.It would be no different than the things Frisk told herself. “No matter how hard I try…I can’t get over the skeleton thing.”

 

“But why? You’re best friends with a giant skeleton, a fish, a lizard… the list is endless. You make all these monsters feel at home and even accepted a goat as your mother. So what is so horrible? You have a list of things you love about this guy and yet…” Jenna sighed. “You made him sound like your light in that dark place. Did he stop being that or something?”

 

Jenna’s question put a pause to all Frisk’s thoughts as she thought of that dark moment with black skull eyes.

 

you’ll be dead where you stand…

 

if not for her…

 

If not for my mom I’d be.. he didn’t… Frisk pushed it down at once like she did every time. She couldn’t think like that. She couldn’t allow herself to. Everyone needed her to be determined. Everyone looked for her to be their light. She swallowed, taking deep breaths as she pushed it down.

 

It didn’t happen.. he wouldn’t hurt you…

 

He let you die… Her eyes shut, clenching tight as she put her hands over her ears as though it would drown that voice out. That niggling voice. It became louder, too loud. It sounded like her, but it wasn’t. No… he…

 

You were alone…

 

“Frisk!” Her eyes snapped open, looking at Jenna’s worried eyes as the other woman looked over her with her hands on her shoulders. “I was so close to just shaking you.”

 

That explains the hands…  She bit her lip as her mouth became a thin line and she forced a smile. “I’m fin-”

 

“What happened?” Frisk blinked at the abrupt question, unsure how to answer as she looked everywhere else.  “Frisk…” Jenna’s voice was gentler this time, and Frisk looked back, finding only concern in her eyes. “You aren’t okay, and you clearly have some unresolved issues.” Frisk started to shake her head, opening her mouth to disagree but Jenna continued, “Even the strongest, most determined person could use a shoulder to lean on. Someone…” Jenna looked to the sky, as though searching for the answer. “unbiased. Was that how Eli started?”

 

Frisk knew she could lie, push it down again and just ignore all of this. Jenna didn’t really know her, she owed this woman nothing. No explanation for her behavior, not anything. Her mouth opened to tell her as Frisk felt her pride coming over her, but that look was still in Jenna’s eyes.

 

Not judging her, not saying anything. Just worried…

 

“Yes.” Her voice came out quiet, and she expected one of Jenna’s usual blunt remarks, but she had only nodded her head. “There’s things I can’t tell them.” Frisk breathed out and looked away. “Couldn’t tell them. Not without them feeling hurt, or offended.” She frowned thinking back on how they all wanted to kill her and take her soul. “And the horrible part is…” She sniffed, feeling her eyes start to tear up.

 

“Sometimes I wanted to hurt them…. like they did me.” She looked at Jenna again, tears in her eyes as she watched a shocked look cross over the other woman’s face. “They’re supposed to be my friends. My best friends. And I’m supposed to tell them something like that? Am I?” She searched Jenna’s eyes for an answer.  “How do I tell him?” She emphasized, her mind going to Sans immediately and how upset he’d be to learn that sometimes she wanted to hurt them, even Papyrus.

 

As her tears flowed more, she didn’t even fight from holding herself.

 

Maybe it was just too late…

 

And this was only all genocide.

 


 

 

Remember this? 

 

 

Well as part of a huge apology and to mark me working back on this story, I redid it.

 

 

Chapter Text


 

 

Sans couldn’t believe it…

 

He glanced back again at Papyrus in the bushes, giving him a thumbs up on both hands as Sans stood there.  Sans looked back, for once feeling glad for his natural grin, though the sweat pouring down his skull was giving away his real feelings. The two on the bench hadn’t spotted him yet, and he was glad for it as his bones shook and he didn’t feel ready for this conversation.

 

what if it’s bad? what if it’s all bad? His hand went to his chest, his soul ached as he continued to look at Frisk. Curls framing her face and none of that make-up she’d been wearing, but It was the bags under her eyes that had him worried. The unnatural paleness of her skin, and how small she looked in those clothes she wore.  i’ve was gone that long?

 

He didn’t even track the days or much at all during the time he’d been back in his old home, days became repetitive and he the feeling of giving up was strong.

 

“SANS!”

 

The loud whisper had him looking back as he watched his brother make gestures towards the girls with his hands and then at him that Sans was sure supposed to be a code for him to go to Frisk. He really needed Paps and Undyne to stop watching all of those spy movies. He gave a nervous nod and took one step towards them. since when do Jenna and Frisk hang out?

 

The whole relationship seemed unlikely as he thought of Jenna’s blunt behavior and could only imagine the bad time she had given Frisk. The images his head was producing became worse with every step, and he didn’t notice as he moved faster towards them to get to Frisk.

 

It was like that time with Pap’s giant bone all over again, where he didn’t think he’d get there in time and his brother’s attack was a lot. Maybe too much, and he’d run out of ideas, his only thought to use his magic as discreetly as possible to help lift her over the bone as she jumped. He never seemed to get to her in time with anything, or maybe he just didn’t try hard enough. His thoughts became frantic, pushing him faster until catching Jenna’s eye, stopping him in his tracks.

 

Sans pictured a thousand looks this woman could have given him, but the one she did now wasn’t one of them. The concern, worry, fear… but fear of what? Sans rubbed the back of his neck, wondering if maybe it was his attire. He’d never been self-conscious, but over the years it had grown. He’d been careful, more than careful to wear more than just gloves. But he’d been with Paps and the thought to grab his usual scarf to cover his face didn’t cross his mind.

 

she's scared of me too?  It was a simple fleeting thought though it was a common one lately. He’d notice looks, stares, people looking his way more often. The stuff he’d paid little to no attention to, that now he did.  was the guy across the street looking? did the woman passing by think he was weird? did they know about him and frisk? did they give her a hard time for it?

 

Thought after thought, always fleeting but there to pick at the cracks of his soul a bit more each time. And Jenna was looking at him with fear and something else. He couldn’t help but think the worse as he heard another loud whisper, and he was sure Jenna heard it to as they both glance at an animated Papyrus. Frisk didn’t seem to catch it, which was odd. He always thought for being a human she was oddly more observant than most, among other things. frisky…

 

When was the last he called her that? Continuing on, he felt the thrum of his soul getting louder and his palms start to sweat. The gloves were no help, making it worse as he pulled up his hood, hoping it’d take away the sweat from his head as well as any stares he may be getting right now.

 

Sliding his hands in his pockets, he decided to go behind Frisk, it felt sentimental as his mind began to work and he felt an odd shape in the deep recesses of his pocket. Jenna’s mouth went to open, but Sans shook his head as he cleared his throat loudly and Frisk sat up from Jenna’s comforting with a loud gasp. He began to say something as one of his hands went out, but Frisk grasped it too soon.

 

The loud farting noise took over the silence; it made everyone stop and stare, but for once Sans paid it no mind. He was lost in the tug of a smile on Frisk’s face that slowly gave into a fit of giggles. He had no clue what Jenna or anyone else may be thinking right now. does it matter?

 

It seemed so long since he heard Frisk laugh, his own grin formed, moving past the natural one as his pin light eyes brightened and his soul became warm. i missed you. i missed this. i miss… us. Maybe they could fix this. Her eyes met his, and he could still remember the first time he saw those reddish-brown eyes and how she had been called a demon. What he told her next was the truth though so corny even Alphys had gagged from overhearing them.

 

His fingers ghosted over her cheek with his free hand, touching lightly with the glove as she leaned in more into his touch as her eyes seemed to brighten. “still like a sunset…” She laughed again, her cheeks turning red, bringing back color into her as she smiled his favorite smile until a clearing throat made them both jump.

 

“You two get all romantic, over a fart joke?” Jenna rose a brow at both of them as Frisk’s blush worsened and San fought the urge to hide in his own hood.

 

“it’s a classic?” He gave a nervous chuckle as Jenna stood up, “sides, it could have been worse?”

 

“You mean like cue cards telling you exactly what to say and what to do?” Jenna’s eyes were far off.

 

“exactl- oh, no…” Sans mumbled slowly looking where Jenna was to see Papyrus with large poster boards with crayon drawings on them, and to make things worse he was sure he spotted a blue . Or maybe he was just seeing things…

 

“Come on nerds! Make up already!”

 

nope, not seeing things… He took a glance back, seeing Frisk look more red though he already knew Frisk had called them since he met Papy earlier.

 

“How about I deal with that while you two talk?” Jenna gave a smile, and Sans noticed the squeeze to Frisk’s shoulder as she mouthed a thank you to Jenna. Now he wondered just how close the two had gotten. “wait… you’re going over there?” Sans blinked and looked at Jenna, thinking of the other times Jenna and Undyne had been in the same area. “uh…”

 

“Stop looking so worried Sans and talk to your girlfriend.”

 

“but...”

 

“Talk to Frisk.” She added pointedly, giving both him and Frisk’s looks, and turning on her heel towards his brother and Undyne. He still thought it was a bad idea and wondered should he give Alph a warning.

 

“They don’t get along?”

 

Frisk’s voice took him out his thoughts, and he looked back at her as he shook his head. “it’s…” he wondered how to explain, until the sight of the bags under Frisk’s eyes had him frown as he noticed them again. “never knew you wanted to look li-”

 

“Like what?” she smiled, and he knew she was waiting for the punchline. One of his puns to smooth things over and make it all seem less severe, but all he did was sat next to her.

 

“Sans?”

 

He took her hand in his, and sighed as he put the other in his pocket, “didn’t mean to make you worry like that…” The lack of a joke or pun threw her off as he watched the look she gave him, her eyes searching his face as she frowned and looked away.

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“nothing’s okay.” He felt her stiffen, and he sighed inwardly, slowly wanting to give in to his usual. Joke. Pun. Comfort her. It won out as his thumb circled over the top of her hand and he could feel her slowly relax.

 

Suddenly she stood, taken him by surprise at her smile at him and pulling him up with her.  “Let’s go home, okay?” She smiled more, tugging him as he didn’t budge.

 

“frisk,” They needed to talk, they were falling into it again. The same hole. The same thing. “we need…”

 

“Please not now.” He barely heard her as she looked down towards the pavement, her body shaking and he could hear her take in a long breath. “Please, I just… can we just go home?” She spoke so desperately, barely audible that he wasn’t sure what to do. His mind and heart battled. They needed to talk, but she sounded one push to falling over.

 

“Please, Sans?” She looked back at him now, her eyes watery as her head dropped. “I can’t right now…”

 

but we never can…

 

“yeah.”

 

Later, he’d stop giving into her, and they’d talk. Yeah…

 

Later. At least that’s what he’ll keep telling himself.


 

Chapter Text

Frisk P.O.V

Two sides of the bed…

They were sitting on two opposite sides. Two separate, complete sides. She wrenched her hands together, pushing back every bad and horrible thought that entered her mind. She knew she was clinging to the hope that Sans would do as he usually does, and he’d let them be okay. That he’d just let it go, the idea of talking to him scared her.

 

What would he think? What would he do? Then would come the worst question. Would he hate her? Her heart raced; her breathing was short gasps as her arms started to circle around herself. No, no, no… please no…

 

She squeezed tighter, holding herself together as her mind spun her very fear. She gulped in air, nearly screaming as a hand touched her shoulder.

 

“frisk?”

 

“Sans?” She breathed out his name, his eyes looking her over with concern as he moved more onto the bed, his eyes searching over her and then into her eyes. “What is i-”

 

“show me.”

 

“What?” She blinked in confusion as he was suddenly closer, a gloved hand taking hers as he pulled her up. “What are you even…” Her head was whirling with possibilities as she caught the expression on his face. Somehow his jaw looked tight, his natural smile wrong and pleading as she started to back away from that look of desperation. “Sans, what’s wrong?”

 

Her back hit the wall; he bowed his head as his hand grabbed her arm in a way she never knew he would. “Talk to me?” Immediately she wanted him to speak, but the utter despair that stared back at her as he rose his head left her speechless. His thumb traced her arm, the other hand traced her face, as though she was something that may disappear.

 

Did she really do this to him? Did she make him like this?  Her eyes found his sockets, a soft white penlight barely visible, but she saw something she thought she never would.

 

“show me what he does?” His voice was pure agony, this couldn’t be Sans. Sans joked. Sans was lazy. Sans let things slide. She was sure that the skeleton wouldn’t even do anything unless there was literally nothing left, and then he’d fight… right?

 

“You don’t cry…” Her voice was quiet, and he laughed, broken and disconnected. “You never cry…” She put more finality in her voice, pushing this whole ACT away, but still, it stayed. No escape possible.

 

“are you gonna tell me?”

 

He can't possibly be serious…

 

Her mouth opened, attempting to figure out what to say or ACT out. Not FLIRT, flirting seemed the worst thing to do right now. Though Sans seemed to want it, his eyes were begging for it. No words were coming out, he looked pensive, thoughtful until her eyes widened at his mouth.

 

How long had they been together? How many times had he eaten? Drank ketchup…

 

He had done so many things, yet she’d never seen his mouth open. It seemed impossible, but there it was. His mouth open, with a slight glow inside.

 

“does he kiss you?” His breath was hot, warmer than she would have pictured. “you can show me his moves…” His voice was a whisper as he came closer, and Frisk stayed there transfixed by this Sans that had her against a wall. The small niggle in her brain said not to accept this or any of this. This was desperation, this wasn’t Sans…

 

“This isn’t yo-”

 

A tongue, there was a tongue touching her lips. Brushing across it gently, carefully, asking, begging. Pressing further against her as Sans’s grip on her arm tightened, and they were so close. She could feel the press of his bones through the hoodie, it wasn’t as hard as she thought. That tongue making shivers go up her spine.

 

“We shouldn’t…” It was getting harder to remind herself that this wasn’t him. This desperate skeleton begging her, pressing his own boundaries and hers to places they’d never been. That he shouldn’t be biting her neck in that spot, he shouldn’t be making her arch, he shouldn’t be pressing against her so right.

 

Her legs went around his hips, and she wasn’t even sure when that happened. Every touch and nibble against her skin, that heat in her very soul.

 

“can I kiss you…?” She could feel herself giving in as her curiosity gave way to something else as he came closer still, that tongue brushing against her ear “frisky…”

 

He was pushing up her shirt further, brushing his fingertips over her side so dangerously close as she felt him press against her further. Her own body starting to beg for it as she grabbed his hoodie, not wanting to lose the closeness.

 

 “still thinking of him?” He gave another laugh, her brain turning to mush with each burning, electrifying touch and brush against her ear as she tried to tell she wasn’t; instead, all that came out was a moan.

 

It became harder to believe this wasn’t them, that nothing mattered but this bubble they created. “i’ll burn it… every thought of him...” His grip tightened possessively, and there was a new burn as her eyes rolled back and she could feel his magic surrounding her soul more. Pressing against hers in such a way where she could feel him, the hurt, the pain, the need.

 

 Every thought was screaming for a need she couldn’t place. She was close, so close, so close it hurt. She bit her lip, Sans’s fingers tightened, something pressed against her so right that her mind was floating somewhere as she let out a loud cry.

 

Her body shuddered as she panted, trying to collect breath in her lungs as Sans suddenly released her, and now all she felt was cold. Her legs trembled, feeling unsteady as she fixed her shirt back in place.

 

The bubble they made popped, letting everything else back in, and she felt lost. She couldn’t bear to look at him, Sans pain seemed to radiate off him in waves. She shouldn’t have let him do that….

 

She wasn’t even sure what that was… What did they do?

 

“Sans…” It came out quieter than she would have wished, though she had no clue what to say. To call it a mistake? Maybe? “We shouldn’t have…”

 

“don’t…”

 

She looked up then, his voice was final, that same edge that he had with that confession from the Underground. That he only helped her for one reason… The memory was so ugly, making her want to lash out at how final he was. “I was worried about you.” She bit back, only to hear a loud laugh.

 

“worried? about me?” He laughed louder, and she gave him the best glare she could as she held herself.

 

“I looked for you for weeks!”

 

“i know…”

 

“I couldn’t sleep! I couldn’t eat! I couldn’t even…” She let out a frustrated scream as she looked at him, now that he was back on the bed with his hands in his pockets. “Do you have any idea what you put me through?”

 

“what I put you through?” Sans brow ridge rose, making me think back more to skeleton monster anatomy. “you want to talk about weeks when I haven’t had you to myself for months with you too busy cheating on me!”

 

Frisk felt the fight leave her as Sans words echoed in the room. It was the first time he'd said it. The first time Frisk had to face what she did. He was looking down, and she looked away, the silence was louder than she’d even thought.

 

“frisk…”

 

“Cinnamon or butterscotch?” She swallowed, smiling so wide it hurt with her heart bleeding. It was a good time for pie.