They make the rounds and visit everyone at their wedding, from the villagers who greet them familiarly and raise cups of ale to them, to Giacomo and his family, who fuss over the crooked knot of Eames’s tie. By far the most raucous table belongs to their usual entourage, naturally.
“You are the loudest table in this garden right now,” Eames tells them as they come up to them.
“Eames!” exclaims Ariadne, and gives him a fierce hug, before saying, a little drunkenly, “You got a good one.”
“I know it,” Eames responds gravely.
“I mean, so did I,” Ariadne continues, pulling Gon in. “So we match, you and me.”
“A bit,” Eames allows, amused now.
“When’s the dancing starting?” Ariadne asks.
“It’s already started.” Eames gestures to the makeshift dance floor.
“No, I mean your dancing,” insists Ariadne.
“We don’t dance in public,” Eames responds primly, “we do all our dirty dancing in private, thank you very much.” He waggles his eyebrows at Arthur.
Arthur rolls his eyes because he knows he’s supposed to.
Ariadne says, “Don’t you roll your eyes, Mr. Lip Sync Battle Champion. I saw that choreography.”
“I’m waiting for the band to play ‘Mic Drop’ so I can show Eames what an actual choreographed performance looks like,” Arthur deadpans.
“Oooh, do you have BTS choreography up your sleeve, darling?” asks Eames, looking intrigued.
“Important question!” Julia interrupts. She leans toward Eames dramatically; Paul reaches out to grasp her to stop her from falling entirely over.
“The vodka has been great here,” Paul remarks.
“We did that just for you, Julia,” Arthur says.
“You’re the best, Arthur,” Julia tells him. “But back to my important question for Eames: Did you ever get to sign a breast?”
“No,” says Eames, looking very sad. “No one has ever asked me.”
“It’s your lucky day,” announces Kalinda.
“Well, it is my wedding day,” says Eames.
“No, I mean, it’s also your Sign-A-Breast Day.” Kalinda gestures to her breast region.
Eames looks delighted. Julia cheers wildly.
“Oh, no,” says Arthur.
“What?” protests Eames. “This is amazing!”
“What will it do to your working relationship?” Arthur asks. “I was hoping for more seasons of our show.”
“Oh, it’s fine,” says Kalinda. “I’m not interested in his sort and he’s not interested in my sort, so it’s all good.”
“I’m interested in all sorts,” says Luisa, “so I’m very much looking forward to what’s about to happen.”
“And I haven’t had enough to drink,” remarks Paul.
“I’m with you,” says Gon.
They go off together to the bar, and it occurs to Arthur that Paul and Gon have really become good friends over the course of this filming, and Arthur is pleased for that: they could both use an ally in calmness.
In the meantime, he is watching Kalinda pull down her top far enough that Eames can scrawl on her skin. It doesn’t get indecent at all, if you don’t count the fact that Eames writes Dream bigger! –Eames on the top of her breasts.
“My breasts don’t need to be bigger,” Kalinda informs him.
“Her breasts don’t need to be bigger,” Luisa agrees.
“Sometimes I don’t know how I ended up here,” Timothy remarks.
“Join the club,” says Ariadne. “That’s me most of the time.”
“All of the time,” says Julia.
“I especially don’t know how I ended up here,” says Victor. “I thought I was the ex-boyfriend.”
“No, no,” says Eames. “The ex-boyfriend was someone else entirely.”
There are groans around the table and Ariadne says, “Quick! Change the subject!”
“Before he shows up,” Julia agrees. “He’d probably ooze up out of the grass like a slime alien monster. You know what I mean? One of those.”
And Arthur says, as Julia demonstrates exactly how a slime alien monster would ooze to an intrigued-looking Kalinda and Luisa, “We don’t know how we ended up here, either.”
Eames presses his nose behind Arthur’s ear and says, “Not true. I know how we ended up here. It has to do with you finding me my perfect house.”