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The Smallest Swim Trunks Known to Man

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"No, I can't come on Friday. My cousin - you know, from Ireland...yes, THAT one...yeah he's staying at my house, and I have to babysit him for the whole summer."

Jenny squeaked as a pillow smacked her in the face, causing her to drop her phone.

"Kevin!" She yelled, and scrambled to find her fallen phone, as he laughed at her. "Sorry, Gina, Kevin threw a pillow at me. Yeah. Okay. I'll talk to you later." Jenny ended the call and turned to her cousin, on the floor across from her. They were in her bedroom, avoiding their parents who were downstairs, being really boring and discussing parent things.

"So, tell me what's new? Have you had any girlfriends?"

"Jenny," Kevin said, rolling onto his side to look at her with his eyebrows raised.

"Fine," she sighed. "Have you had and boyfriends?"

"Yes. Loads. Dozens. Hundreds!"

"Shut up you have not," she said, throwing the pillow back down at him.

"No, I have not," he agreed, the words muffled through the cotton.

"But?" She asked, eyebrows raised.

"But what?"

"But what do you mean, but what? But what booooyfriends. You've had to have had at least one." Jenny pouted.

"Yeah, okay, fine. I had one."

There was a pause, but only for a second.

"AND??" Jenny asked, nearly falling off the bed.

Kevin sighed, avoiding her eyes. "And nothing, Jenny, I don't want to talk about it."

"Kevin, what happened? Oh my God was he an asshole??" Jenny crawled over to Kevin, concern covering her words.

"Yes, he was an asshole. Nothing, don't worry about it. Just - can we talk about something else please?"

"Fine." Jenny said. They sat in silence for a moment, and Jenny watched Kevin eyes look everywhere but at her. She grinned and stood up.. "Come on, get up. We're going."

"Going where?" Kevin asked, not moving.

"You're taking me to the beach, you beautiful Irish leprechaun."


"Sorry-not-sorry!" She sang, as she danced out the doorway. Kevin glared after her, and then hauled himself up. "I don't wanna go..." he said to himself, but followed her out the door anyway.




Javier cursed under his breath, trying not to drop the towels as the cooler Carla had insisted on taking with them almost slipped out of his fingers. He almost hit himself in the face with the giant umbrella he had tucked under his arm, and the car keys were clenched in his teeth.

"Javier! Don't forget the umbrella!" Carla called, already half way down the beach.

"Cogerme, I've already GOT the damn umbrella, ungrateful little..." Javier stopped himself before he let that one slip. Carla may be already down the beach, but she had a mean ear and wouldn't hesitate to slap him upside the head for calling her anything but Sis.

He was only at the beach because she had dragged him there - and he knew full well he was only there to carry all of her stuff, while she checked out all the shirtless boys. All Javier wanted to do with his Saturday was take a nap. It was a week into June, and he had three long months before he had to go back to finish his last year of high school. Carla was already a sophomore in college, and how Javier envied her. What I would give to get out of this town, he thought bitterly.

After he had set up the umbrella to Carla's satisfaction, he spread out his own towel in a patch of sunlight, far from the water. Slipping off his shirt, he wiggled around in the sand for a moment and put his arms behind his head. He closed his eyes and let the warmth of the sun sink into his skin.




"Jenny, these do NOT fit me."

"They so do!"

"They are too small!"

"Just let me see!"

Jenny flung open the door, not letting Kevin reply, or cover up. She had made him show her all of his swim trunks in a horrible and embarrassing fashion montage, and after she had declared all of them inadequate, she scoured the house for her brother's old ones, and that's how he found himself in the guest bathroom, trying on these ridiculously tiny black shorts.

"What the hell are you TALKING about these are PERFECT Kevin!"

"Are you serious? They're like, way tight!"

Jenny gave him an appraising look. "No, honey, they are perrrrr-fect. You look fantabulous." She steps around him, going in a full circle. "And ooh, do they do great things for your ass."

"Jenny, we are NOT going to the beach so people can check out my ass."

"Why else would we go to the beach, Kevin Ryan! Of COURSE that's why we're going!"

Kevin crossed his arms. "No way. I am not going in these shorts."

Jenny got a dangerous look in her eyes, and before Kevin could react, grabbed his clothes and ran out the door, laughing wildly. "Yes you aaaare!"

"Jenny! Get back here!" Kevin shouted as he ran after her. He skidded to a stop in front of her bedroom, nearly knocking her over when she quickly stepped into the hallway and slammed her door shut. He groaned as he realized his clothes were locked in her room, and allowed himself to be herded out the front door. The front door locked behind him, and he sighed at the sight of the already packed car. (Jenny was extra prepared.) That is how he found himself barely clothed in the smallest swim trunks known to man, trapped in a car with his insane cousin, and heading for the beach.




Javier sat back down on his towel for the fourth time, grumbling under his breath.

"I am serious, Carla, that is the last time I am getting up for you today." He had already gotten her some water, helped her put on suntan lotion, and moved the umbrella. All he wanted to do was sleep in the sun.

"Fine, Javi, ay ay ay," Carla said, waving a hand in his direction. He scoffed, and laid down again. He adjusted until he was comfortable, and closed his eyes, relaxing into the warmth. He tuned out the noises from people on the beach, and the screeches from the seagulls in the sky. He concentrated on the sound of the ocean, rushing in and out, in and out. He loosened his muscles until he felt like liquid. Javier felt himself drifting off, and he was almost asleep -

- when someone tripped over him and landed on his chest.



"You can be a bitch sometimes, did you know that?" Kevin asked, stepping out of the car.

"Why Mr. Ryan, I never!" Jenny said, feigning shock. "Just shut up and help me carry all of this."

"Why should I?” He asked her, but lifted the towels out of the trunk anyway. She still was holding onto a bag that held changes of clothes for both of them, keeping him from covering up what she kept referring to as his "all of this," whatever that meant. He followed her down to the beach, holding the towels over his - area.

They picked a spot in the sun, not too close to the water, and Kevin grinned when Jenny dropped the bag of clothes onto the beach. He jumped over their things and grabbed her, picking her up and cackling as she squealed at him to put her down, fists pounding on his shoulders. He ran over to the water, and she screamed when she realized what he was doing. They both hit the waves with a big splash, and Jenny was mortified that he had gotten her hair wet. Kevin just laughed at her.

"Serves you right! Karma's a bitch, just like you!" Kevin shouted at her, running back up the beach.

"I'm going to MURDER you, you ass!" She screamed at him, chasing him through the sand. She leapt at him, and they ended up in a tangle of limbs on their towels, giggling. They eventually decided on a truce, and Jenny rooted through the bag for her Frisbee.

"Ah, Jenny, come on. No."

"Why not, Kev? I love Frisbee. You love me. Look at that."

"No! You dragged me here, in these stupid shorts, and I don't want to run around in them for all the world to see - "

"Too bad," she said, and threw the Frisbee at his face. He caught out of reflex, and rolled his eyes.

Jenny stood, and jogged backwards, making grabby hands at him. Still annoyed, he contemplated not playing with her, but he finally stood and gave in to her puppy-dog eyes. He tossed the disc back to her, and she caught it. When she returned it to him, the wind caught the Frisbee and it flew too high, making him run across the beach to catch it. He was looking up over his shoulder, not paying attention -

- when he tripped over someone and landed directly on top of them.




"Are you FUCKING serious right now! What the hell!" Javier shouted, his eyes snapping open. His breath, sucked in to keep shouting, caught in his throat when his eyes met the ones right in front of his face.


That's all he could manage to think.

Kevin was startled, at first, when the person underneath him started shouting, but now he was trapped in the gaze of the big dark eyes of the guy - the really hot guy - that he had tripped over. And was now laying right on top of. Neither of them moved, Kevin's hands on either side of the guy’s head, holding himself up. Kevin didn't realize the other guy had moved until hands lightly wrapped around his wrists, and he shivered at the touch of warm calloused fingers. It was like he had forgotten how to breathe, and just as he opened his mouth to say something-


Javier looked up at the sound of the girl’s voice.

"Fuck," Blue Eyes said, and scrambled to get up. Javier was shocked by the sudden chill he felt when the other guy got off of him.

"I am so sorry, God, I was not looking where I was going, sorry sorry," the guy said, and brushed the sand off of his very tiny, very fitting black swimsuit.

Shit, Javier thought. Shitshitshit. He was trying very hard not to look - look anywhere but there but THERE was all he wanted to look.

"Are you okay, man?" The guy asked Javier, and his girlfriend - of course he had a girlfriend - came up next to him.

"Javier! Oh my God!" She said, and he recognized her.

"Oh, hey, uh, Jenny, right?" He said, standing up as well. "Sorry about your - boyfriend, he uh,"

"It was totally my fault, I wasn't looking. Sorry," Blue Eyes said, "Wait, what?"

"Oh, sorry, Javier, this is Kevin Ryan. He's visiting from Ireland. And he's my cousin, NOT not not my boyfriend." Jenny smiled.

"Thanks," Kevin said sarcastically, glaring at Jenny. "Yeah, hi, Kevin. You're Javier?" He stuck out a hand to shake, definitely NOT grazing his eyes over the delicious shoulders of the hot guy -- Javier, apparently.

"Yeah, Javier Esposito." Javier took the hand and shook, NOT liking the feeling of the soft skin against his and still definitely not looking at those damn shorts.

"Javier! What the hell, hermano?" Carla asked, coming up behind him. "What happened?"

"Nothin, Carla, this is Jenny, I went to middle school with her, and this is her cousin, Kevin. This is my sister, Carla." Javier explained, everyone nodding at each other.

Carla looked at the way her brother was looking at this Jenny's cousin, and it was a good kind of look, so she made a decision to help him out.

"Jenny, mi querida, I need some back-up. Javier is useless, I need some chica power. You see those surfer boys over there?" Carla asked, coming up to the younger girl and linking their arms together.

"Uh, Yeah," Jenny said, a little nervous, but she grinned at Kevin, who wasn't paying any attention to her.

"Well they are muy deliciouso and mama needs some lovin’. Let's go," Carla said, and the two girls walked off together.

"That was fast," Kevin said, almost to himself.

"Yeah, you never know with chicks," Javier said, and Kevin looked up, startled.

They looked at each other for a moment, then looked away, embarrassed. There was an awkward silence, before Javier cleared his throat.

"Hi," Javier said, and Kevin smiled. Simple, he liked that.

"Hey," Kevin said, and picked up the Frisbee. "My partner left, wanna fill in?"

Javier thought for a moment. Hell yes, he thought, but didn't want to seem so desperate.

"Sure," he replied casually, and they threw it back and forth for the next hour, not talking, just looking. And looking. And trying not to look too close.

Carla eventually yelled for Javier to take her home, and they parted ways. They didn't say goodbye, they only waved.


Pulling out of the parking lot, Javier was thinking furiously.

"Hmmmm that Irish boy is sure pretty, isn't he, Javi?" Carla asked him from the passenger seat, smiling because she knew he wasn’t paying attention..

"Yeah. What? No! Carla," Javier said, frowning at her.

"I'm just saying, hermano - he's muy bonitoooo! And those tiny shorts outlined every. single. detail!"

"Carla, shut up!" he hissed, his brain suddenly full of the guy - Kevin - in those tight, little, form-fitting perfect black trunks. Shit, he thought.




"So you go to school with that guy?" Kevin asked, trying to seem like he didn't care.

"Javier? No, remember, I go to an all girls high school? I don't know where he goes now, but we were in a lot of the same classes in middle school. That's how I know him," Jenny said, and raised an eyebrow. "Why? Want his number?"

"What? Why would I want his number?"

"Oh you SO DO. I knew it. You totally have the hots for Esposito! Ha ha!"

"Jenny, no, I do NOT. Shut up." he said, turning away so she wouldn’t see him blush bright red. Jenny was definitely right about one thing, that Esposito guy - Javier - he was hot. Fuck, Kevin thought, leaning his forehead against the car window.