Actions

Work Header

Punk-d

Chapter Text

You sigh shakily, sweaty fingers tangled in the silky fabric of your black clothing.  Its strange that over the past eleven days youve grown to see these people as family. Each and every one holds a dear place in your heart.

As a young child your mother groomed you to be her perfect doll. Beatings would be issued of you ever even looked at something she deemed not girly enough for you. Your hair was always in immaculate, [hair color] waves with pink bows tied into them, all the way up until you were sixteen. So when at sixteen you snuck out to dye your hair, pierce your septum, and go to a concert, you were dragged home, your head was shaved, and you were beaten within an inch of your life.

It was shortly after that when you finally ran away. You began to pursue your dream job as a voice actor while scraping your way through the rest of school. Also balancing two jobs on top of all of that. 

And that leads to where you are now, a successful voice actor turned party coordinator, stuck in a dead girl's apartment, for a group of people who are becoming increasingly fond to you. You're terrified that they'll hate you for not telling them who you are and what you really look like.

The grunge side of the punk aesthetic had always appealed to you. But now living it with pastel blue hair, your septum and your collarbone pierced, and the dark skinny jeans and shirts mostly for your wardrobe. It's freeing, knowing that your mother cannot control who you are anymore. You are your own person, and a successful person at that for a bigger matter.

But, the damage was done. Now you're afraid to share too much of yourself. The first time you felt yourself start to fall for a member of the RFA you almost backed out entirely from the party planning. Because you knew that opening yourself up was a recipe for disaster. But you pushed on, knowing that they needed you keeping you from falling apart.

Your phone rings, startling you out of your reverie. Placing your eyeliner on the counter, you reach for the cellular device and check the screen. When you see the familiar face staring back at you, you smile and swipe across the screen, bringing it to your ear.

"Hey, what's up?"

Chapter Text

"Hey Zen, what's up?" You greet comfortably, shooing your cat down from the vanity in the bathroom.

 

"Hey, have you heard from V at all lately? He said he's coming but none of us have heard anything from him at all,"  Your brow furrows in concentration while applying your oxblood lipstick, and you press your lips together before answering the phone.

 

"I'm meeting with him at a cafe down the street from the apartment and we're arriving together from there. V said something about not wanting me to get lost or something like that," You have to pull your phone away from your ear so you're not deafened by the whine that follows.

 

"Whaaaa-? No faaaaaair. That means V gets to see you first," You smirk at the pout in his voice.

 

"Sorry, but this was decided when I first arrived,"  You smile again, the sound of your best friend's voice calming your shaky nerves.

 

"Come oooon~" he whines, playfully, into your ear and you can't  help the snort that leaves you.

 

"Whining isn't a good sound from you, Zen," You reply softly, taking in your appearance  and feeling satisfied.

 

"Well I've gotta go, I told Jaehee that I'd be there soon and I still haven't left," You sigh softly, nerves building back up in your throat and knotting themselves in your stomach.

 

"See you soon  [Name]," He murmurs and hangs up. You hands begin to shake again while you tidy up the apartment, you pack  away all of your things and you get your cat into her carrier. Jumin sent a car over for you to meet V about two blocks away from the party venue. Then his driver will take your things and cat back to your own apartment. You will no longer feel suffocated by the remnants of this girl everywhere.

Walking to the lobby of the hotel, you're whisked away into a car with dark tinted windows.

 

"Hey, driver Kim," You greet casually, putting your cat carrier and bag on the seat next to you.

 

"Hello miss [last name]," He smiles at you in the mirror and pulls away from the curb.  Comfortable silence falls while you check the messenger app.

 

~~~~

 

Yoosung: I'm here! Jaehee, where is everyone?

Jaehee: I'm here as well, Mr Han should be here too

Jumin: I just walked in

[Your Name]: I'm on my way to pick up V. We'll be there soon, Zen should almost be there, I haven't heard anything from Seven though

 

~~~~

 

"Miss, we've arrived," You look up from your phone and realize where you are.

"Ah, right. Thank you Driver Kim," You thank him sheepishly and slide out of the car, waving to your cat.

The cool air slides its fingers under the collar of your jacket and down your spine, causing you to shiver. The shadows  from the tall buildings dance along the edge of the streets.

You walk forward, a confident air surrounding you while you search for the man who is meeting  you here.

"Miss [your name]?" A voice calls from behind you and you turn around, eyes widening. You smile and walk toward him.

 

"You must be V. It's so lovely to meet you," You shake his hand before the two of you set off toward the venue of the party. The silence is broken when you chuckle. V's head swivels toward you and you break out into a full laugh before speaking.

 

"Sorry, it's just the last time I saw you my head was shaved," You smile softly at him and you see it click.

 

"It's you. Oh my God it's you," He breathes out and you hum softly, looping your hand through his arm and  curling your fingers in the crook of his elbow.

 

"It's been a while hasn't it? Almost ten years," You continue, walking alongside a man you knew once before.

 

"You said that that story was for another lifetime. That's what this is, isn't it?" You chuckle at his sly questioning and grasp his elbow just a little tighter.

 

"It's not a happy story, so you might not want to hear it," You warn. His head swivels toward you and you can't help but avoid his gaze.

 

"When I first saw you, your face was a mess of bruises and your head was completely shaved," You shiver, remembering what had lead to those intimate moments shared with this man. Both of you being young and foolish, still children. But even at twenty five, you cannot forget the night of shared warmth.

 

"Your hair was longer then, wasn't? Almost to your shoulders," You question, tilting your head to study his hair more closely. He chuckles sheepishly and reaches up to push back an unruly strand of teal hair.

 

"It was. But I'll tell you that story after you tell me yours," You make a face and he chuckles again.

 

"My mother was never a very nice woman-" you begin, before pausing and looking down at your Docs, "-she, she didn't really love me. I was only there for her to play dress up with. I was to be the perfect daughter, not a real one.

 

"No matter what I did, I wasn't good enough, so a little over ten years ago I- I ran off, I dyed my hair, got piercings and I finally finished the tattoo that I had been getting done  in secret for almost a year. Then I met with my best friend and we went to a concert.

 

"She found out and she tracked me down. I was dragged home and you can probably guess what happened next.

 

"Then I left. She wanted me to become a nurse. I couldn't do that, I had go follow my own path in life. So I did. That's where you come in," You keep your explanation as short as you can and don't dare look up at him.

 

"How do I come in?" He asks gently, squeezing you hand, making you realize you somehow slid your hand down his arm and into his own larger one.

 

"I came here, to Seoul, I started going to school here and working. It was only about a month into actually living here that I got an apartment. It was tiny. But it was home.

 

"It was just after that when I went to your exhibition where I met you. Honestly, I was burning out before I went to that exhibition, V. Your work inspired me to keep going. I don't think I would be here if you hadn't been there," You shuffle your feet and look up at him. He's looking straight forward, a small smile playing on the edge of his mouth, but it can't overtake the concern lingering in his brows from your story.

 

"And now? How are you doing?" He questions, and you can't help the smile spreading over your face.

 

"I have a full time job as a voice actor with a children's animation company. They're wonderful to me, I love working for them," Your smile grows fond, before dropping slightly.

 

"And now I'm here. Fate really is kind to push us together again. Isn't she, Jihyun?" You look at him, trying to read his expression. His eyes, as you were told beforehand by Jumin, are clouded, almost completely grey now. They're not the wonderful blue you had known them as at sixteen.

 

~ * ~ * ~

 

It had been his first ever exhibition. At seventeen, Jihyun was beginning to make a name for himself in the upper class artists. But the turnout was as expected for a first exhibition. While talking to Jumin, he sees someone who completely stands out from the usual posh businesspeople and upscale artists. The girl, who couldn't be much younger than he was, was walking slowly through the gallery, taking time to look at every picture. She gave each one the same kind of care and affection, her [eye color] eyes sparkling with a kind of wonder that didn't match her blackened eyes and swollen face, or her shaved head.

 

It was the way her eyes were shining that gave Jihyun the courage to break away from Jumin and approach her.

 

Her attire consisted of a pencil skirt, blouse, and combat boots. It made him chuckle just a little at the way she stood, mesmerized by the photo of his parents, walking away through the woods.

 

"That is one of my favourites," He commented gently, coming to a stop standing beside you. You hummed softly, finger pressed gently against your chapped lower lip.

 

"Your parents are absolutely wonderful subjects," Her voice was soft, like her eyes. But her words startled him. How could she have possibly known that they were parents? Or that he was the artist behind this gallery?

 

"The woman-" she clarified, seeing his expression, "-the woman has the same colored hair as you do. It's such a unique color, that you have to be related. So as these pictures belong to the photographer of the exhibition, you must be that photographer," She looked down, biting her lip shyly. He smiled gently at her.

 

"You're quite clever, miss," She looked back at the picture.

 

"Just [your name], no miss,"

 

~ * ~ * ~

 

"What does the city look like today, [your name]?" He asks breathily. So you tilt your head up, and look around you.

 

"Everything's alight, the sun is just overhead and casting everything into shadow in the street. The shadows are dancing together, side by side,"

 

V looks over at you with his limited vision and sees a totally different woman to the girl he met ten years ago. That girl was scared, and fragile. She soaked up all the love that he gave her and still needed more.  With no hair and bruises covering her body. That girl was tragically beautiful. The brokenness inside her drew V's own brokenness to her like a magnet.

 

The woman he sees in front of him is so different. Dark eye makeup and dramatic brows all finished off with oxblood lips, curling upward while taking in the city with the same wonderfilled eyes that first drew him to her.

 

But while her confidence is so much higher than that little girl, he can still feel the tug of her broken soul against his own.

 

"You know, I never did sell those pictures I took of you. I still have them, even though they caused a strain between my fiance and myself," You flush, remembering what pictures he's talking about. The pictures of you wrapped in black silk sheets, your tattoo standing out against them and your skin blossomed with bruises and scrapes.

 

You hadn't even realized you had arrived at the venue until V had pulled against your arm to bring you into the foyer of the building.

 

"V! You're here, so this must be....." You smile brightly at the brown haired woman standing before you.

 

"It's wonderful to finally get to meet you, Jaehee. I hope I meet your expectations," A polite smile grows into a fond one.

 

"You exceed any and all expectations that I had. It's so lovely to meet you. Shall we go inside? Everyone is waiting for us," You stomach turns over, mind racing. What if they don't like you? What if something they decide to kick you out of the RFA and never speak to you again?

 

A firm grip on either of your hands makes you look up. Both Jaehee and V have one of your hands in their grasp.

 

"Don't worry so much, they're not going to hate you," V tells you, cheerfully walking into the room where the other members wait.

 

"[your name]?!" Before you can blink, you're bombarded by Zen, Yoousung, and Seven. Zen's eyes are wide, while Yoosung's mouth hangs open. But Seven, Seven's reaction is the best.

 

His eyes are full of crocodile tears, and he sniffs dramatically before throwing himself at you, tugging you out of the grip of Jaehee and V. His arms wrap around you and he rubs his cheek along your own.

 

"You're so different!!" He wails, continuing to clutch you to himself. You laugh gently, bringing your arms up around him.

 

"Hey, Luciel. Thank you," You whisper, and he clutches you a little bit tighter before releasing you.

 

"What for?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Being there, and caring. You deserve real happiness. Not what you portray now," You murmur back before turning to face the others, now including Jumin

 

"Let me introduce myself, I am [your name] [last name], I am a voice actor and party coordinator. It is so nice to meet you all officially," You smile brightly at them, a little anxious before Jumin steps forward.

 

"Jumin Han, it's wonderful to meet you, thank you for all the hard work you've done on making this party such a success," You smile gently at Jumin, knowing he's looking your choice in wear and makeup up and down in his mind, but you don't mind.

 

"Yoosung Kim, I'm so glad to finally meet you!" Your smile again grows fond while looking upon the sweet boy with a huge heart. His immediate acceptance of you makes your eyes water.

 

"You've already met Seven and I'm obviously Zen so now you've met everyone. We are all so grateful that we could have another party thanks to you," You smile as you're swept into another hug by the RFA member you're closest to.

 

Later, you're talking to Yoosung about how you knew V.

 

"I met him once, we were younger. I went to his first solo exhibition," You explain. Yoosung's eyes widen.

 

"Are you the one who he took those pictures of? He's been offered so much money for them! He has them on display at every exhibition but he never sells them," You blush and look at your feet. His laugh makes you look up at him.

 

"I cannot believe that's you. I used to hate that girl and those pictures for causing Rika so much pain. But I think I understand now. They remind V of something wonderful. A beautiful moment shared between two people," You're startled by the wisdom in Yoosung's statement.

 

"....Can I hug you, Yoosung?" You ask, hesitantly. His cheeks fill with red, but he opens his arms welcomingly. You take two shuffling steps forward and fling your arms around his waist, bringing the younger male into your arms. Suddenly, his arms are around you, and he's clinging like he's starved. So the two of you stand there for several moments, just holding one another. He's the first to pull away, face even more red.

 

"Ah, sorry," He apologizes, but you just chuckle and  ruffle his hair gently.

 

"Thanks, I think we both really needed that," You smile once more at him before you're whisked off by Zen to talk to a guest.

 

It's hours later you see V again. You walk toward him, gently moving the curtain that's keeping the balcony away from the rest of the party.

 

"Hey," You greet gently, standing next to him.

 

"Zen was telling me about you hugging Yoosung earlier. I'm glad the two of you are happy," You snort before laughing.

 

"Yeah we are. But there's no romantic feelings between us, he and I just needed someone to hold for a while," You hip check him gently before looking back out over the darkening city.

 

"You're the one who can heal them. I was selfish in thinking I could heal them," V looks wistfully out across the balcony. You move closer to him, close enough that your shoulders brush and elbows knock against one  another .

 

"We can heal them, V, together. You don't have to carry the world alone anymore. You deserve so much more than you've been given. You're not alone," You rest your hand against his cool one, fingers loosely curling between his thumb and forefinger. Slowly, his hand moves to return the gesture. You lean your head against his shoulder, bringing yourself closer to this broken man.

 

"You deserve the world. Not to be holding it up, my dear," You whisper against the fabric of his coat, where you had buried your face.

 

The only thing you register is the shuffling of fabric before he has you completely enveloped in his arms, his face pressed against your shoulder weeping stricken trails down your neck. You bring him as close as physically possible and cradle the back of his head.

 

"I- I'm sorry..." He whispers through his heaving shudders.

 

"Never apologize for letting emotions in. You have to let them inside of yourself to heal, okay?" You pull away just enough to cup his face, wiping at the tears still falling before again bringing his face to your neck and just holding him.

 

That was when he realized. He didn't need to keep others away from himself. He needs to keep you close and let you in. When you're around the the thoughts of unworth go away. And he can breathe again. So he cradles you closer, and lets the emotions go.

 

~{THREE YEARS LATER}~

 

"Papa! Papa!" The laughter, followed by a much deeper, gleeful laugh makes you pop your head out from the kitchen, and Your heart is warm when you see the antics happening.

 

Jihyun is sat on the couch with your daughter Eun. They sit upside down, their heads hanging over the edge. Their faces are red but they're laughing with abandon. You smile brightly at them and your heart is bursting with love for your little family.

 

Shortly after the first RFA party, you and Jihyun started to date. Now three years later you're happily married and he had the surgeries needed to mostly restore his sight. With glasses he's able to see the world perfectly again. It wasn't until you had gotten pregnant that he had the courage to finally get his vision corrected. He desperately needed to see the wonderful little life he had a part in bringing into the world.

 

"What are you two doing?" You laugh, moving in to poke Eun's soft tummy. She squeals and somersaults off of the couch into your arms.

 

"Gotcha!" You growl playfully, blowing raspberries onto her tummy. She squirms, laughing loudly and trying her hardest to escape your grasp.

 

"Papa! Save meeeee!" She whines and Jihyun rights himself, his glasses askew on his nose before diving toward you. But you just dance out of his reach.

 

"Nope! Princess Eun is mine!" You let out an evil laugh and dart into the kitchen Jihyun on your heels.

Before you can get to far, strong arms wrap firmly around your waist. They bring you back to a broad chest. You squirm when he begins to blow raspberries on either side of your neck.

 

"Ahhh! I surrender! I surrender! I release the princess into the  care of her knight! No more!" You gently place her down and she runs directly into his arms. You pout at the two, but soon a smile breaks out when she  reaches and  brings you into the embrace as well.

So you three stand there. Jihyun and yourself content in the small family that you have, not including the RFA members who are are surrogate family for the two of you.

 

"You gave me my ultimate dream. A family. Thank you  [your name], thank you," he whispers, kissing Eun's head and then you. You hum happily, wrapping the two of them into your embrace.

 

"Thank you, Jihyun, for not giving up on yourself. Because we need you,"

 

Because everyone deserves a happy ending. That is why you tried so hard. You knew that your happy ending stemmed from his own.

Chapter Text

"Hello?" A soft, subdued voice comes through your speakers. Relief floods through you.

"Yoosung! Are you okay?" You rush out, sitting down on the toilet lid, crossing your ankles anxiously. His slightly pained laugh tugs at your heartstrings.

"I'm fine, everything is fine," A soft murmuring on the other end is heard, before Yoosung responds in an equally low voice, too quietly for you to hear.

"......Yoosung?" You ask anxiously.

"Ah, sorry, it's just that Seven asked me a question. We'll  be at the party tonight. I can't wait to see you," Your heart lurches, and pink paints your cheeks.

"Are you really okay, love?" You ask softly, and he laughs gently. A grin forms gently across your mouth. You fiddle with your lip piercing and exhale worriedly.

"I'm fine. Hey, I'll see you soon okay?" And he hangs up.

Your exhale is one of exasperation as well as one of worry. Your lip is drawn between your teeth and worried to the point of bleeding. Your head can't stop racing.

What is he hiding? You begged him to not go, and when he was resolute, you begged Seven to keep him safe. You know that whatever happened has to be quite bad for Yoosung to not want to tell you anything. You sigh, and finish off your makeup routine.

Nothing can stop the anxiety welling up in your brain while you make your way down to the car that Jumin sent for you. It felt wrong, knowing that Yoosung is in some sort of distress and you can't do anything about it. Your heart sloshes in your stomach.

The ride flies by with you still worrying your lower lip between your teeth. You're  playing every conversation you've had with Yoosung throughout the past week and a half in your head.  When you come to a stop, it's a little startling, and you scramble out of the back seat after thanking the driver.

You walk briskly up to the front of the event hall, showing your ID to the security guard outside of the building. Your spiked stilettos clicking on the marble floor of the ballroom as you walk toward a petite woman in a beige dress.

At the sound of your shoes, a woman you assume to be Jaehee turns to you, her smile polite

"Welcome to the fundraiser. Who might you be?" You smile sheepishly.

"Hello Jaehee, it's me," Her eyes widen and an involuntary smile crosses her mouth, much more genuine and much less practiced.

"[Name]?" Hello!" You smile gently back and try to keep from flinching away from the eager woman.

"Hello, Jaehee. How is everything going?" Her smile never fades while she fills you in on who had arrived and the few who she was waiting on. You ask questions on what the party goers seem to be liking and what seems to not have as much traction.

Jaehee takes you over to where most of the RFA have congregated. Jumin is the first to see you, and you actually revel a slight bit in how flustered he appears for a split second, before his face is back into a friendly half smile. He and Zen welcome you warmly, much like Jaehee had. You remain polite and friendly, but can't help the restlessness in your brain, wanting to know where Seven and Yoosung are.

"Have the rest of the members arrived?" You ask softly, trying not to let your eagerness to meet Yoosung show. Jumin shakes his head, and your heart sinks a little, worry beginning to fester again. You stop the thoughts growing in your mind. It wasn't until you heard the soft voice of V over the speakers that your heart really began to thump hard in your throat.

Then you see him.

It's like everything is happening underwater, the man you're irrevocably in love with strides to the podium with a confidence that doesn't match the personality you've come to know. It wasn't until he began to speak when you truly were sure that it was him. You're shaken by the pallid look of his skin, and the bandages wrapped around this left eye seem so stark white, but still almost match his skin.

Everything in you is screaming to run to him, cradle him against you and never let him feel pain again. But reality acts as shackles around you ankles. So you stay, and listen to him speak so earnestly. It brings tears to your eyes to see him fighting through the pain he must be in. Your long, perfectly manicured, painted black nails dig into your own arms, trying to transfer the  nervous energy out your fingertips and into the room to dissipate. You try so hard to listen to his speech, but all your mind can think is 'Yoosung, Yoosung, Yoosung'

The next thing you know, he's striding toward you and your mind is screaming at your legs to work but they're crying and your knees are weeping to your brain that 'they just *can't* move' because he's finally *right here* and he's sweeping you up and oh God he smells so good.

"Hello," he whispers, gently, and all you can do is gape up at him and tears are kissing your eyelashes and finally, he's kissing you.

~~~
It doesn't take a long time for Yoosung to look exhausted, and pained. You stick tightly to his side, arm looped around his waist, most of the night. The only time you leave him is to drag Seven away to talk privately.

"I'm so so sorry [name]-"

"Stop, now, I know that you did everything in your power to keep him safe. Things happen, and  Luciel, he's still alive for God's sake. You brought him back to me, he's still bright. Thank you so much," The tears start to flow again while you bow ninety degrees to the flustered redhead. He grips your shoulders tightly and pulls you upright to stare into his own watery eyes. You tug his wrist and bring him into a tight hug, cradling the back of his neck in your hand.

He peels himself away, scrubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. You smile gently at him, rubbing his shoulder.

"I'm gonna go check on Yoosung, but I wanna see you again soon, alright? Don't think you're getting out of movie nights you promised me," Seven chokes out a wet laugh, eyes still covered by his hands. You squeeze his shoulder one last time and depart from him. Finding your way through the crowds back to Yoosung's side. He's conversing with Jumin about his company when you sidle up and slide an arm back around his waist, leaning into his warmth. He absently threads his own arm over your shoulders and pulls you into his side, seeking your presence. You can't keep the smile off of your face. Jumin soon finishes the conversation, being called to have a conversation with a potential donor. You press closer into Yoosung, brow furrowing when he winces.

"How's your face, Yoosung-ah?" You inquire gently, tilting your head to catch his eye.

"It's bearable, for now. Where did you go? I was stuck talking to Jumin by myself! He was trying to recruit me again," You giggle gently at his flustered state.

"I had to sort some things with Luciel, that was all. But are you really alright? We can leave early if you need to," you can't keep the concern from coloring your voice, and it makes his cheeks flush  lightly. You can't help the warmth creeping up your throat and down your fingers in childlike finger trails.

"I am pretty tired," he admits sheepishly, scratching his head. You smile warmly.

"That's ok, Yoosung. I'll go tell Jaehee that we're leaving," you see the exhaustion lining his face, making him look older, and more haggard. The bandages not helping at all.

As soon as everything was settled with Jaehee, you and Yoosung bid the rest of the RFA farewell. You hail a cab and help a drowsy Yoosung into the back, letting him rest heavily on you during the short ride to his apartment. His breath against your neck is steady and warm, it raises goosebumps along the entirety of your body. Soon, you've paid the cabbie and your tugging a lethargic, stumbling blond behind you. He leads you, slowly, to his door and fumbles to open it. He gets it open and is the one tugging you into his apartment.

You remove your shoes at the door, and help Yoosung with his. You enter his room, smiling gently at the clutter, and the stuffed bear lying on his bed. His ears turn red and he begins to pick up clothes off of the floor.

"It's okay, I really don't mind," your smile grows and you sit down on his bed. He looks at you dress questioningly. You smirk lazily and stand again, pushing him occupy the space you were just in. You peek into his closet, swipe a plain white tee and step into his bathroom, carrying your bag with you.

You change out if the party dress and into the soft, comfortable shirt that you swiped from the boy in the next room over. You pull makeup wipes out and wipe off the dramatic makeup that had been painstakingly applied. After you've wiped it off the panic strikes straight through your body again, the bottoms of your feet tingling. What if he doesn't like the way you look? Will he think your brows are too thin? Your complexion too uneven?

You shake your head fiercely. He loved you before he knew what you looked like, he doesn't care about your flaws. You pull your  [color] hair up into a ponytail and leave the bathroom without looking in the mirror again.

You pad out of the bathroom, and smile gently at the blond lying almost asleep on the bed. He's  changed into sweat pants and a shirt very similar to the one you borrowed. He smiles lazily back and you shake your head fondly. You stand next to him and touch the edges of the carefully wrapped bandages, your fingers flit gently against the spot where skin meets coarse gauze.

"Does it hurt terribly?" You whisper, eyes beginning to fill with tears. Yoosung wraps his slender fingers around your wrist, bringing your palm down to cup his cheek. He presses closer and drops a gentle kiss against the calloused skin of your palm.

"It's bearable, my love," he replies, visible eye tender, as he reaches with his other hand to swipe at the tears gathering in your lower lashes. You close your eyes, leaning further into the feel of his warm, steady hand.

You lie next to him on his bed, the sheets smelling of him. You're finally content somewhere. Content with Yoosung wrapped around you, his gentle breathing against your shoulder raising the hairs on your arm.

'home' Your mind supplies blissfully, 'he's home' and you cannot dispute that. No matter how shitty your past is. No matter what you look like, he never once hesitated in his affection for you. Not even after seeing you, your body, and your mind. His warmth, his love has never once been held back from you. He has given you all of himself and you have gladly returned the favour. You cherish him deeply. And it's causing you to lie awake, watching him sleep. This sweet boy is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to you and you're too terrified it's a dream to sleep. So you lie next to him, admiring his halo like hair and soon you're asleep against your will.

~{FIVE YEARS LATER}~

You observe the object in your hand, traitorous tears welling up in your eyes. You check the back of the box and can't keep the tears at bay. After numerous doctor visits, tests, and reading every book you possibly could find, you're finally pregnant. Two years of trying and you had almost lost hope. You blamed yourself for everything, thinking your body had betrayed you in the one thing you knew Yoosung wanted more than anything else.

There were countless nights spent sobbing, wrapped in your husband's firm grasp, his hand soothing over your hair, whispering words of encouragement and love. He promised over and over that you'd try again and maybe the next time this wouldn't happen. He held you through every anxiety attack, every doctor's appointment, every moment of self doubt. He never let you go, and he never blamed you for what happened, the children you were told you might not ever have. He stayed hopeful, and finally, finally, finally, it was bearing fruit.

You drop the test into your lap, both hands coming up to clasp around your mouth, muffling the hysterical, joyful sobs scratching your throat raw. Your eyes and nose are streaming but you can't find it in yourself to care. A *baby* finally, the doctors said if you manage to actually conceive that carrying to term would be almost assured.

You're soon able to get control of your emotions, and clean yourself up, knowing your husband would be home any minute.

The click of a key in the lock, and the shuffle of shoes being removed are the first indications that Yoosung has made his way back into your shared home.

"Jagiya~ where are you?" The sound of his voice sends a fresh wave of tears down your cheeks. You can't answer him, but you open the door to the bathroom where you're sat on the closed lid of the toilet. You continue to cry while he walks in, and gingerly kneels by you. He sees the test lying in your lap and his eyes soften while he pulls you into his arms.

"Oh [name].... It's okay, we'll try again darling..." He murmurs with his lips pressed against your temple. You shake your head frantically, and then you scoop up the pregnancy test and shove it into his eyeline.

His eyes widen, and he begins to brighten. He kisses your face joyfully, trying to dry your tears.

"We're going to have a baby! Please dry your tears, love, I can't bear even your happy tears," a wet laugh bubbles out of your throat and you loop your arms around his neck, rocking back and forth. Nothing will ever take this away from you. You know that no matter what, you and Yoosung will  fight for your family that you've created together. You protect his brightness, and he pulls you from the depths of the seas you drown yourself in. It's perfect.