Work Header

Living with the Beats

Chapter Text

This is based off of the characters in the movie “Beat” with Norman. I actually watched the movie for the third time last night and had a dream about it. This has some stuff from the movie, but is it’s own thing. And I feel obligated to say that since the movie was inspired by true events, this story doesn’t necessary fall in line with what really happened. My character, Mary, is my own.


I had to go ahead and get this out, but I will get back to the current Daryl story that I’m working on. This was just something that came up unexpectedly J





Living with the Beats




Chapter 1


New York 1957


            The apartment was smoky. People milled around with their drinks in their hands. Several different conversations could be heard throughout. Bill, Mary and Alan sat around the coffee table discussing the next great literary movement when the front door burst open.


“Jesus, I’ve been gone for two years and it’s like I never left,” a young man’s voice came from the entryway.


“Lucien!” Mary exclaimed jumping over the back of the sofa. She ran up to the man and wrapped her arms around his neck. “How does it feel to be a free man?” She asked.


Lucien had his arms wrapped around her waist and face buried in her hair, inhaling her scent. She always smelled of an intoxicating mix of lavender and nicotine. God, how he had missed her. The hardest thing about being in jail was being away from Mary.


“It feel great,” he replied finally releasing his grip on her. As she took a step back she let her hands fall from around his neck a let them rest lightly on his chest. She looked into his crystal blue eyes, seeing that some of their sparkle was no longer there. Killing a man and going to jail for two years will have that affect on someone.


Bill cleared his throat. Lucien and Mary were immediately brought back to the here and now.


“Lucien, what are your plans now?” Bill asked. He was much older than anyone else in their group of friends, but his talent for writing made him popular with the younger crowd, and the fact that he actually got paid for his writing so he was able to afford the booze and pills that his friends were big fans of.


“I’m not sure, Bill,” Lucien said. “I was thinking about joining the Merchant Marines with Jack. Do some traveling and see the world.” He glanced over at Mary to gauge her reaction to his idea. She simply gave a small smile and nodded her head.


“Well, a decision does not need to be made tonight,” Bill started. “Tonight we celebrate you’re return to us.”


Alan brought everyone a drink and they toasted to their little reunion. The group sat around telling Lucien everything that had been going on while he had been away. They told him of some of the new coffee shops and jazz bars that had recently popped up around the city. There was an electricity of creativity buzzing through New York now. Everyone could feel it and everyone wanted to be a part of it.


“Bill, we need more beer,” Mary called from the kitchen. “I’m going to walk down to the store.”


“Dear Mary, you should not be going down there alone. There are all types of hooligans in the area at this time of night,” Bill said.


“I’ll go with her,” Lucien piped up.


“Good, good,” Bill said. “Pick up another bottle of gin while you’re out.”


Lucien helped Mary with her coat and grabbed his own as they walked out the door. The cool autumn air hit them as soon as they were outside of the building. Mary loved this time of year. The city was alive with students that were returning to college. The brisk air felt like it was waking you up from a dream. It was nothing like the hot muggy air of the summer.


“How have you been?” Lucien asked as they began to walk. He took her hand in his and intertwined their fingers.


“I’ve been good,” she said, looking up at him.


“And you?” she asked.


“Good,” Lucien replied.


“Do you ever think about that night, about what happened?” she asked. She had always wanted to talk to him about that night, but when he showed up to the apartment covered in another man’s blood, everything happened so quickly. He had refused to let any of them visit him while he was incarcerated.


“Sometimes,” he began. “But I try not to think about it too much. I’m still here. I still have a future ahead of me. I don’t want to waste that by living in the past.”


“YOU have a future,” Mary started. “But Dave is dead.”


“I know,” Lucien said. “Look, everyone knows that Dave wasn’t the most stable person around. Hell, he left his wife and family behind in Illinois to follow me here. That’s not something a stable person would do, even if they said it was out of love.”


They walked in silence for a moment.


“Dave didn’t love me. He was just obsessed with me. I kept telling him that I was not interested in him like that, but he could never comprehend it. I guess that night he reached his breaking point and tried to fuck me. I didn’t have a choice.”


Mary nodded.


Lucien stopped and pulled Mary to him so he was looking into her bright green eyes. “Besides, you were the only one that I loved,” he said. He gently held her face in both hands. Mary closed her eyes as he began leaning his head down. She felt his warm lips gently press against hers. She placed her hands on top of his as she pulled away from his kiss and stared into his eyes.


“You’ve always had really bad timing, Lucien,” she said.


“I know,” he whispered. He let his hands fall and grabbed her hand again. They returned to their leisurely pace towards the store a block down the road.



When they returned to the apartment, they noticed that most of the previous guests had already left for the night. There were just a few stragglers hanging behind.


Lucien, Mary, Bill and Alan drank until the early hours of dawn.


“Why don’t we go to Mexico,” Bill said. “Everything is cheaper down there. We can all share a place together.”


Bill was getting tired of New York. He hadn’t written anything worthwhile in months and thought a change in his environment would help. He knew Lucien didn’t want to stay in New York for too long after he made the comment about joining the Merchant Marines. If Lucien left, he was sure Mary would end up leaving him as well. She had stayed with him while Lucien was in jail, but that was with the knowledge that he would be returning soon. If he joined the Merchants, there’s no telling when he would come back.


“Why not?” Mary said. They didn’t have any family or other ties that bound them here. Some of their greatest adventures had started with a drunken or drug fueled idea.


“I’m in if you are,” Lucien said to Mary. She couldn’t help but notice how his eyes brightened at the idea.


“Yeah, let’s do it,” Alan said.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2


Mexico 1960   


The foursome found an apartment for rent above a bar. They unpacked the car and walked up the creaky flight of steps. The apartment was run down, but it was clean. It was already furnished with the bare minimums. Bill and Mary took the master bedroom and Lucien and Alan took the two smaller bedrooms. Bill set up his typewriter on a table by a window in the living room while Mary unpacked her books.


The first month was great. They spent their days driving around to different villages, taking in the local culture and their nights at the bar downstairs. One night they had been at the bar particularly late. Alan had already gone back up to go to bed. Lucien and Mary were sitting at a small table in the corner while Bill was chatting up so stranger at the bar.


“Looks like Bill has made a new friend,” Lucien said as he motioned towards the bar at Bill and a young man.


“Bill is always making new friends,” Mary said as she downed the shot that was sitting in front of her.


“Why are you still with him?” Lucien asked, taking his shot as well.


“I’m loyal to a fault,” Mary said. “Don’t get me wrong, I do love Bill. And I know he loves me in his own way. Unfortunately he just has needs and desires that I can’t accommodate.”


“Don’t you have needs and desires that he doesn’t accommodate too?” Lucien asked, his eyes going from that crystal blue to a little bit darker shade as he spoke.


“It’s not that he doesn’t accommodate my needs,” she began. “He just doesn’t do it as nearly as often as I’d like.”


It was true. Mary and Bill did have a physical relationship, but not very often. But that wasn’t what attracted Mary to Bill in the first place. He was a brilliant writer. And he had this lost little boy quality about him. She knew that he really did love her, but she also knew that he was scared of being alone. And that was the main reason she hadn’t left him yet. She did not want to be the one that left him alone.


“Mary,” Bill wandered over to their table. “This is Jonathan. He is a writer as well and has some of his work that he would like to show me.”


The young man looked slightly embarrassed as he gave a wave and a quiet “Hi.”


“So I take it you won’t be coming home tonight,” Mary said.


“You are correct,” Bill said as he and Jonathan made their way out of the bar.


“Well, looks like it’s just me and you,” Lucien said, ordering another round of drinks for the two of them.


After a couple more hours at the bar, Lucien and Mary decided to call it a night. They walked up the stairs to their apartment.


“Goodnight,” Mary said before heading to her room.


“Goodnight,” Lucien said and kissed her on the cheek.


Mary laid in her bed, willing sleep to take over, but it never did. Why did she allow Bill to do his thing while she waited home like a good little girlfriend? She had always been attracted to Lucien. She had actually met him first. Actually, everyone had met Lucien first. He was the magnet that drew everyone together. She had met him at college. They had English Literature together. She found him to be so handsome with his blue eyes and light brown hair. And he always had this half grin that you could tell he was up to no good.


Truthfully, it was Lucien who was destined to be the next great literary writer. His style and ideas were way beyond anyone else’s. He just happened to spend too much of his time being the social butterfly that he was to take his talent seriously. But then if he hadn’t been spending so much time meeting new people, they all probably wouldn’t be here together today.


Mary made a decision at that moment. She would not leave Bill. He was sweet when they were alone. He provided the wisdom and somewhat stability that comes with age. But she was no longer going to ignore this growing feeling inside of her. She deserved to live her life too.


Mary got out of bed and quietly made her way down the hall. She stood in front of Lucien’s bedroom door for a minute, steeling her nerves. She had never really been shy with men, but being with a man in the same home that she shared with another man was a little out of her comfort zone.


She placed her hand on the knob and slowly turned it, opening the door just a crack. She could hear his labored breathing, indicating that he was already asleep. She walked into his room, closing the door behind her, trying not to wake him.


She tip toed to the bed and looked down at his sleeping form. He was on his back with just a thin sheet covering him from waist down. He didn’t have a shirt on and she let her eyes roam over his body. The moonlight was peering in through the window, illuminating his face and chest. She let out a quiet sigh as she studied his relaxed features. He looked so much younger than his 25 years like this.


Mary pulled her nightgown over her head and stepped out of her panties. She lifted the sheet and saw that Lucien preferred to sleep in the nude. She couldn’t help but blush when she took in the rest of him. She crawled over him to lie between him and the wall. She draped her arm around his torso and began leaving light kisses along his jawline.


She didn’t know he had woken up until she felt his hand go to the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair. He dipped his head down and caught her lips with his. The kiss was soft and gentle with a slight hesitation.


Lucien wasn’t quite sure if he was dreaming or not. When he felt Mary’s fingers run up his chest and lightly passed one of his nipples, his dick twitched and he knew he wasn’t dreaming. He rolled over so he was directly on top of her, supporting his weight with his other arm.


He looked down at Mary’s face. She looked a little nervous, but had a look of resolve on her face that told him she knew what she was doing. She let her hands run up and down his back sending shivers up his spine. He leaned down again, meeting her lips with his. He kissed her slow, not wanting to rush any part of this. When she parted her lips slightly he moved his tongue to enter her mouth and began exploring every part of her. Their kiss started to get more heated as her tongue started a dance with his.


They broke apart only for a second to catch their breath. Lucien trailed kisses along her jaw and down her neck. Mary arched her head back giving him better access at the same time opening her legs so he could nestle comfortably between them. He kissed and gave teasing licks from her ear down to her collarbone, softly sucking on her pulse. A small moan escaped her lips as her legs came up so her feet were resting the back of his legs right above his ankles.


She could feel his erection pressed between her legs. She wanted to feel all of him inside her. Lucien began kissing down her chest and over to her left breast. With the tip of his tongue, he licked around her already pert nipple before sucking it into his mouth. Mary’s hips bucked upwards at the contact making Lucien grin against her breast. His right hand caressed her right breast as he worked on her left one with his mouth. He removed his mouth making her whine at the loss and moved to her right one giving it the same attention. Mary started rotating her hips trying to find the friction she needed to quell the burning desire she felt in the pit of her stomach. Lucien slid back up so he is face was hovering over hers, their noses almost touching.


“I’ve wanted this for so long,” his voice low and filled with want.


Mary placed a hand against his cheek and kissed him deeply and passionately. He ran his hand down her side and over her thigh, lifting her leg to rest on his hip. He slowly entered her and pulled out. He repeated the motion until he was buried deep inside her. He stilled for a moment giving her time to adjust to his intrusion.


When Mary began rotating her hips again that was the signal he needed to start moving within her. His thrusts were slow and deep, wanting to savor every moment. Her tight wet walls hugging him like a cocoon. Mary started meeting his thrusts making his dick twitch inside her. He wanted to cum so badly, but he had to make her cum first. He knew she needed this as much if not more than he.


“God, Mary, you feel so good,” he whispered in her ear feeling her clench her walls around him. “Fuck, do that again,” he moaned out and she did.


She raised her other leg over his hip so both feed were resting on his ass. She had both hands pushing into his lower back urging him deeper, if that was possible.


“Oh, God, Lucien,” she cried out. “Faster. I’m going to cum.”


With that, he began to pound into her. Mary’s breasts were bouncing up and down with every thrust. Each of their faces buried into the other’s neck, trying to stifle the cries and moans that escaped their mouths. The room was silent except for the muffled moans and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh as their hips met one another. The air was thick around them with the smell of sweat and sex.


Mary could feel that wave of pleasure start from the top of her head and slowly roll its way through her body. She latched her mouth onto Lucien’s shoulder trying to hold her scream in, but it was no use. As that wave made its way down to her core and she felt her walls give out as she came, she couldn’t help the scream that escaped her.


“Lucien!” she cried.


He felt her orgasm start. He could tell by the way her hips started jerking erratically and by the moans vibrating into his shoulder. Suddenly he felt her walls tighten around him and his dick surrounded by warm moisture. He too was on the edge and as she was still jerking and twitching around him, he felt his balls tighten up. He thrust hard into her one more time before he exploded inside of her. He stilled himself while her pussy milked him for all that he had.


Lucien collapsed on top of her, both of their bodies covered in sweat. She felt him go soft inside of her. She relaxed her legs as he pulled out. She immediately missed the feeling of him. He rolled halfway off of her but still had one arm, one leg and half of his body draped over hers.


“That was amazing,” she whispered in a hoarse voice.


“It was well worth the wait,” he said as he nuzzled into her neck.


After their breathing returned to normal, Lucien covered them with the sheet. He pulled her into his arms and gave her a kiss. They both fell sleep still holding onto one another.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3


            Mary woke up still wrapped up in Lucien. She didn’t know what time it was, but knew it was still early. She removed herself from his tangle of limbs, grabbed her clothes and quietly made her way back to her room. She hadn’t heard Bill come home last night, but she doubt she would’ve heard a freight train go by last night. Once she and Lucien made love, she was out like a light.


Mary walked into her bedroom and looked at the empty bed. Any regrets that she may have had about the night before quickly evaporated. She refused to feel guilty.


She took a quick shower and got dressed. She went to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. She heard footsteps padding down the hallway and looked up to see Lucien come into the kitchen. He was so cute first thing in the morning. He had put on a pair of khaki pants, but hadn’t buttoned them yet. He didn’t have a shirt on and his hair was sticking up everywhere.


He came up to her, wrapped his arms around her waist and pushed her against the counter.


“Good morning, beautiful,” he said as he kissed her.


“Good morning,” she said, her hands flat against his chest.


“Good morning,” they heard from the kitchen doorway and quickly broke apart. Alan was standing there awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. “Did anything happen last night after I left?”


They all sat around the kitchen table while waiting for the coffee to brew. Mary and Lucien gave each other a quick glance as both of their faces turned a light shade of pink.


“Bill met some hot fellow and went home with him last night,” Mary said nonchalantly.


“Oh,” Alan said.


“That was about it,” Lucien followed up with.


“Well what’s on the agenda for today?” Alan asked.


As if right on cue, Bill walked into the kitchen.


“Well, nice to see you are all up this early,” he said, removing his hat and placing it on the table.


“How was your evening, dear?” Mary asked. “Did your friend have any good pieces of work to show you?”


“It was just fine,” Bill said, picking up on her tone. “He’s a little rough around the edges, but he does have potential.”


“Well, that’s good,” she said. At that moment the kettle on the stove began to whistle. She retrieved four mugs from the shelf and poured coffee in each one. She sat back at the table after giving everyone their mug.


“So what are we going to do today?” she asked the group, her gaze lingering on Lucien a little longer than the rest of them.


“I just came by to grab a bag,” Bill said. “Jonathan wants to take me to a small town about 2 hours away. We will be there for a few days.”


Mary gritted her teeth as she turned her attention to Lucien and Alan. “I guess it’ll just be the three of us then.”


After Bill left to meet up with Jonathan, Alan walked downstairs to get the morning’s newspaper.


“Are you ok?” Lucien asked Mary reaching across the table to take her hand in his.


“Yes, I’m ok,” she replied. “At least he’s not running off to meet another woman.”


Lucien got up to put his empty coffee mug in the sink. He bent over the back of Mary’s chair, his mouth so close to her ear she could feel his warm breath.


“Just gives us more time together,” he whispered in a husky voice that made goosebumps pop up on Mary’s arms. He then placed a quick kiss on her neck.


“Guys, I know what we can do,” Alan came busting into the kitchen with the newspaper in his hand. On the front page there was an article about a volcano that started to erupt.


“We can go see the volcano,” he said excitedly. “It’ll be at least a day’s drive to get there.”


“Sounds good to me!” Lucien exclaimed. He was like a little kid on Christmas morning. He loved going on adventures that could lead to the unknown.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4


            The trio drove down the deserted two-lane road. It was a beautiful day. The top was down on the blue 1950 Chevy convertible. The sun shone bright as the wind whipped through the car. Everyone was laughing, having a good time. Sometimes it was nice just the three of them. They all loved being around Bill, but he always had this serious side to him. When he wasn’t around Alan, Mary and Lucien felt a freedom to do stupid stuff that Bill would normally frown upon. Mary always guessed it was the age difference.


They came up to some ruins and decided to stop for a bit. Alan had brought his camera and got out to walk around and take some pictures of the scenery. Mary and Lucien sat on the hood of the car looking across the landscape. They could already see a large cloud of smoke & ash off in the distance.


“Penny for your thoughts,” Lucien said, breaking the silence between them.


“What are we doing here?” Mary asked.


“What do you mean? We’re going to see the volcano,” Lucien replied.


“No, I mean what are we doing here, in Mexico?” Mary clarified.


“I don’t know. Bill brought up the idea. He thought a change of scenery would help his writing,” Lucien said.


“That’s the thing. We’ve been here for two months now and Bill hasn’t written the first thing that he hasn’t immediately shredded,” Mary said. “And you, you haven’t even looked at a typewriter since you got out.”


“What does this have to do with me?” Lucien asked.


“I just want to know what’s going on with you,” she said. “You were like the sun that all of the rest of us orbited around. You didn’t fear anything. Ever since you got back you’re just like the rest of us, except now, there’s no one that we all gravitate to. You’re not the leader that you used to be, you’re more of a follower like the rest of us.”


“Well I’m sorry if stabbing a man to death and spending two years of my life in jail had an adverse effect on me,” Lucien said sliding off the hood of the car. “I’m sorry I’m not your little party planner anymore,” he yelled.


“That’s not what I’m saying,” Mary said walking over to him. She grabbed his face in her hands, making him look at her. “What I’m saying is that you are a brilliant man. You can accomplish so much in this world. I don’t want you to waste that because you’re too busy following Jack to join the Merchant Marines or following Bill to Mexico because you’re afraid.”


“It wasn’t Bill I was following to Mexico,” Lucien said staring deep into Mary’s eyes.


He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. He bent down and kissed her before pulling her into a tight hug.


“I know,” she said as she pulled away. “But you know I can’t leave him. And I don’t want you waiting around for that to happen.” Mary was fighting back the tears.


“I know,” he said, the tears in his own eyes in danger of spilling over.


“Truth is, I don’t know what’s going on,” Lucien said as he pressed his forehead against hers. “I came down here to be with you. That’s all I’ve thought about the past two years was seeing you again. I know deep down I’m not going to be down here long. I will go back to New York at some point. I know I will ask you to come with me when that day comes. And I know that you will probably say ‘No’. But until that day comes, I just want to be with you.”


“Ok,” she said as a lone tear escaped her eyes. Lucien wiped it away with his thumb.


“Now, why don’t we go check out this volcano?” he said.


Lucien called out to Alan who returned to the car. It was his turn to drive. Lucien and Mary climbed into the back seat together. He draped his arm across her shoulder and she leaned into him and closed her eyes.


They weren’t able to get close to the volcano as all of the roads were closed. Since they were not that familiar with the area, they didn’t know of any alternate routes. All they managed to see was a giant black cloud engulfing the sky. It was late in the afternoon. They found a clearing by a creek and decided to stay there for the night. Lucien got out a few blankets for them to sleep on and Alan started to build a fire.


They passed a bottle of gin around as the sky got dark and the stars came out. Alan ended up having more of the gin than Mary and Lucien and passed out curled up in his blanket. Lucien stood up and reached out for Mary’s hand. She took it and he pulled her up. He bent down and picked up the other two blankets that they had been sitting on. He took her hand and led her a little ways from their campsite into the woods, but stayed close.


Lucien stretched one of the blankets out flat on the ground and threw the other one haphazardly on top. He took both of Mary’s hands and they began to lie down, not taking their eyes off each other.


Mary pushed Lucien on his back and sat straddling his lap. She bent down and placed soft kisses against his lips. Lucien brought his hands to cradle her face and pushed her wavy brown hair back. He kissed her gently, taking her bottom lip into his mouth until he felt her tongue trace his lip and he opened his mouth to let her in. With her tongue in his mouth massaging his, he moved his hands down to the buttons on her shirt and quickly began unbuttoning each one.


Mary sat up and removed her shirt along with her bra. She started the same process on the buttons of Lucien’s shirt. After she got the last button undone, he sat up and removed it off his shoulders. He started sucking on her breasts, running his hands up and down her back. She threw her head back reeling from the pleasure he was giving her.


Lucien flipped them over and kissed her hard on the lips as his fingers traced down her side. Mary felt like her skin was on fire from where he touched her. He started to undo the button to her pants as she did the same to his. They shed their pants and underwear, their lips never breaking from one another.


Lucien flipped them back over so Mary was straddling him again. He brushed the hair from her face and gazed up at her as she lowered herself onto his throbbing erection. They both gasped at the sudden warmth they each felt. Mary placed her hands flat to his chest and gently pushed him back to the ground. Still grasping his chest to keep her pushed up, she began grinding herself on his dick. His pelvic bone was rubbing her bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pressure. She thought she was going to come undone right then and there.


Lucien watched her as she was panting with her mouth slightly open. He watched her throw her head back and close her eyes when he hit that certain spot inside her. He watched her hips rolling back and forth and watched the spot where the two of them were joined.


Mary started to increase her pace and instead of rolling her hips, she began rising up and down his length. As she started to go faster, Lucien watched as her breasts started to bounce up and down. When she would rise up, he saw his dick come slightly out of her and when she came back down, he watched it disappear inside of her.


He took note of every detail of this beautiful woman as she rode him. He started to follow her rhythm, bucking his hips up as she was coming down on him. They found a fast hard pace. Lucien was gripping her hips hard enough to leave bruises. Mary still had a firm grasp on his chest, her palms rubbing against his harden nipples. She could feel his increasing heartbeat against her right hand.


Mary could feel herself getting close. She grabbed one of Lucien’s hands and placed it between her legs. He began massaging her clit with his thumb. That was all it took to send her over the edge. She leaned back, grabbing his thighs to balance herself and started to buck. Her head was thrown back and her chest was rising rapidly as her orgasm took over.


“Ah, FUCK!” she cried. “Don’t stop!”


She never wanted this feeling to end. Waves of pleasure ran through her body, leaving a tingling feeling throughout. She came so hard; she almost pushed Lucien out of her. He continued to thrust up into her, letting her ride her orgasm out. He was trying so hard not to cum right then. The way she felt when her already tight pussy contracted around his dick like a boa constrictor and the flush of warmth that came crashing around him, made his dick jump ready to explode.


He kept going though, not stopping until she had ridden that last wave of hers. When she sat back up, her hands on his stomach, he flipped her over and she pulled both legs up to where her knees where almost to her chest. Lucien took a hard, furious pace knowing it wasn’t going to take long for him to cum. Within a minute he was filling her as his own orgasm took hold. He gave a couple more pumps with his hips before he went soft inside of her.


He pulled the blanket over them as she turned and he wrapped himself behind her. He had his arm wrapped tightly around her waist.


“You know I love you, right?” he said as he kissed her shoulder.


“I do,” she said, turning her head to look at him. “I love you too.” She reached her hand behind her to touch his cheek and pull him close so she could kiss him. The snuggled back into one another and fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5


            Alan was the first to wake up and noticed that he was by himself by the smoldering remains of the campfire. He put his glasses on and scanned the area. He saw Lucien and Mary, lying next to each other sleeping. He knew they were together. He didn’t know when exactly they had gotten together, but he had always known they had feelings for each other, even before Lucien went to jail.


Alan had always been in love with Lucien from the first moment he saw him. Of course that’s pretty much everyone’s reaction to Lucien when they first met him. You instantly fell in love with him. But he wasn’t crazy and obsessed like Dave had been. Alan knew Lucien would never love him the way that he does and he was ok with that. Of course it hurt to see him curled up naked with Mary like that, but he would deal with those feelings on his own. He wouldn’t force them onto Lucien like Dave did.


He was however worried at how all of this was going to play out.


Alan walked down to the creek to give the couple some privacy when they woke up. He started writing some things down in his journal. One day these thoughts and scribblings might turn into something.


Mary and Lucien began to wake when the sun started to shine through the trees. Mary rolled over to face Lucien. For a moment they just stared at each other.


“Why don’t you write?” Lucien asked quietly as if afraid to disturb the nature around them.


“I love literature,” Mary said. “I love art and music. But because I love those things doesn’t mean I can create them.”


“I’m sure you would make a great writer,” he said with sincerity in his eyes.


Mary was quiet for a moment, as if she was really thinking about what he had said. She had never thought about writing her own stuff. She was happy just immersing herself in the scene. Truth be told, she had no idea what she wanted to do.


“We should get going,” she finally said.


They got dressed and folded up the blankets. Before Mary could begin heading toward their makeshift camp, Lucien grabbed her arm and pulled her into him. He kissed her passionately, like it was the last time he would ever get the chance to kiss her again.


They broke apart and made their way towards Alan who was back at the campsite gathering their things to take back to the car.


There was something different about the ride back. There wasn’t the carefree spirit as the day before. The three of them knew that something had changed between them. It wasn’t until they got back to the apartment that they discovered what it was.


Bill was already back. He was sitting in the communal courtyard waiting for their return.


“And what did you three end up getting into?” he asked when the trio approached him.


“We went to see the volcano that erupted the other day,” Mary said. “But we couldn’t get close enough to actually see it. How was your weekend?”


“Not what I was hoping for,” Bill said. “Looks like we both were disappointed.”


Bill started to make his way into the building with Mary not far behind. Lucien started to follow her but suddenly stopped. She turned around when she noticed he wasn’t directly behind her anymore.


Lucien stood frozen. Conflict showed all over his face. Mary knew what was about to happen.


“I can’t stay,” he said. “I think it’s time I went home.”


“So this is the day, huh?” Mary said walking up to him, reaching out to take his hand.


“I guess so,” he said, his voice filled with emotion.


“Will you come with me?” he asked already seeing the answer written all over her face.


“You know I can’t,” she said, her eyes filling with tears.


Lucien just gave a single nod. He turned to look at Alan. Alan knew he would be heading back to New York with Lucien. He didn’t want to stay in Mexico with Bill. He hoped that Mary would come with them, but he knew why she wouldn’t.


Lucien grabbed her and hugged her tight, not wanting to let go.


“If you ever need me, you know where to find me,” he whispered in her ear. She nodded, as they pulled apart, wiping the tears from her eyes.


Lucien and Alan got back in the car and slowly started down the road. Mary stood and watched them leave until they were out of sight.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6


            Six months went by and Mary didn’t hear anything from Lucien, no phone calls, no letters. She knew she’d hurt him by not leaving with him that day. But she couldn’t leave Bill here all by himself. His fling with Jonathan came to an abrupt end after their trip that weekend. He was still having trouble with his writing and was spending what little money they had left on drugs. His drug use was getting worse and worse as he started shooting up morphine and heroine.


One night, Bill decided to sell one of his guns for drug money. He found a buyer through the bartender downstairs. He went to the guy’s apartment to show him the gun. There was some kind of accident and Bill ended up shooting the guy’s girlfriend and killing her.


He was quickly arrested and sentenced to 3 years in jail. The shooting had been ruled an accident, but because Bill had been so high on heroine at the time and had a small stash on him, he ended up being charged for possession. Mary knew there was more to the story than he ever let on, but she had had enough by then.


She packed her bags and headed back to the States. She had thought about going back to New York and finding Lucien, but Mary needed to take some time to herself. For years her life had been wrapped up with this group of people that she had yet to find out who she really was.


Mary made it up to Vermont and found a room for rent at an old farmhouse. The farmer and his wife had two children that were grown, so they rented the two bedrooms out to people as an additional source of income. Mary really liked the couple. They were very kind. While living out there, she started to think about what Lucien had said to her that last day they were together.


She asked the old woman if she had a typewriter that she could use. The woman did and gave Mary a stack of paper. For two weeks, Mary did nothing but sit at that typewriter and write about her time in Mexico. She wrote about her love for Lucien, her commitment to Bill, her journey to find herself in the middle of it all. Mary poured all of her feelings onto the pages.


When she had completed her manuscript she reached out to her old friend, Jack, who had already had several of his works published. He helped her get signed on with the same publishing company that he was with. While helping her with that, he also happened to mention that Lucien was still in New York. He was working as a copy boy at United Press International.


It took two years for her book to get published and out to the public, but when it did, it was met with high praise. During that time, Mary had written some more pieces depicting different times in her life. All of her stories had one thing in common, the handsome friend that the main character would forever be in love with.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7


New York 1965          


It had been 5 years since Mary had been back to New York. So much had changed to her city, to her friends and to her. Jack had gotten married and divorced. He had two daughters. Alan had moved out to San Francisco. He was considered an icon amongst the new hippie generation. No one really knew where Bill was. Last anyone heard, he had been living in the Midwest with his wife, Joan, and their two children.


There was one person that she needed to see though. Lucien was the only reason she was back in New York. Jack had told her that Lucien read her book and loved it. Lucien had never married, never had any kids. It was like he was just waiting for something, or someone. Mary never married either. She knew she would never love another man like she loved Lucien. She still loved him.


That’s why she was here now, standing outside of United Press International. Lucien was now the nightly news editor. He still kept in touch with Jack, Alan and some of the others from back then. But he had for the most part settled down in his job. He wasn’t making any more random cross country road trips or looking for those adventures into the unknown. He was finally happy and comfortable in his life. He was just missing one thing.


Mary walked up the steps to the large front doors. She didn’t even know if he would still be here. It was late in the evening and he might have already left for the day. She walked into the large reception area. She didn’t see anyone at the receptionist’s desk. She didn’t really see anyone period. She saw a few desk lamps on towards the back of the office area. She decided to take a walk around.


She walked toward the back of the office space and saw an office door. It was slightly open. When she got closer, she could read the name on the door “Mr. Lucien Carr”. Her heart began to race. What was she going to say to him? Would he even be happy to see her?


As these thoughts and doubts ran through her mind the door opened all the way. Lucien stepped out of his office, turning the light off and grabbing his coat. He saw the woman standing there and his heart jumped into his throat. He dropped his coat and walked toward her with long quick strides. He wrapped his arms around her and picked her up, twirling her around. When he stopped to put her down he held her face in his hands. Tears were streaming down both of their cheeks.


“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” he said.


“I’m sorry it took me so long to get here,” she said through choked back tears.


He leaned down and kissed her with so much need and want that her knees almost gave out. He pulled away with a chuckle. He stepped away from her to retrieve his coat from the floor. When he got back to her, he wrapped his hand around hers.


“Let’s go home,” he said.



All done! Hope you liked it.