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Girl Crushed

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Lyrics:
I got a girl crush
Hate to admit it but
I got a heart rush
Ain't slowing down
I got it real bad
Want everything she has
That smile and that midnight laugh
She's giving you now


Derek is leaning casually against the wall, waiting, looking out of the window into the darkening woods beyond, quietly waiting for the pack meeting to begin. Almost everyone is here except the one he is truly waiting to see. Members of the pack have been coming in twos and threes over the last fifteen minutes. Everyone is carefree, nothing has been happening in Beacon Hills for months. The meetings have been more like social gatherings, watching movies, eating lots of food, and laughing.

He hears the familiar rumbling of the old beat up blue jeep pull into the parking lot and he immediately smiles knowing he is here at last. A tall, pale skinned teen with short buzz cut hair steps out of the jeep. He is jogs around to the passenger side smiling, and opens the door for someone Derek can't quite see from his vantage point in the window. Derek's heart catches in his throat. Stiles helps Malia out of the jeep and shuts the door behind her staring at her adoringly. He is not sure that he has ever seen him look that way at her before. He wishes Stiles would look at him like that.

He nervously glances over to the three seats left in the room, an easy chair and two places on one of the sofas he had been saving all night for him and Stiles. He had been doing this for the last couple months knowing that Stiles was always the late and the only seat left would be next to him. He enjoys sitting next to the beautiful teen, their legs and shoulders would practically touch every week and Stiles always left the meetings smelling like the Alpha, which made Derek's wolf happy.

 


 


Lyrics:
I want to taste her lips
Yeah, 'cause they taste like you
I want to drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume
I want her long blonde hair
I want her magic touch
Yeah, 'cause maybe then
You'd want me just as much
I got a girl crush
I got a girl crush


They just walked in the door. He turns his head notices that Stiles' scent is different tonight, he smells like Malia, the were-coyote.
He falls down into the empty seat leaving the sofa open. Stiles walks into the room, happier than normal, greeting everyone with pats on the back or kisses on the cheeks. He sits down in his usual spot on the sofa and gives Derek a small wink. Derek's heart skips a beat, maybe he has jumped to conclusions about Stiles and Malia, maybe there is still hope for him and Stiles to be together at last.

He stands up and looks around for Malia to she where she is, if she chose a different seat, but Derek sees that she is hanging up her jacket and takes a moment to check out her reflection in the hallway mirror before coming into the room. She walks over to the sofa with long graceful strides and sits down next to Stiles, her leg touching his. She looks into his eyes and gives him a small smile that was meant only for him to see.

Derek notices. He is always looking at Stiles. He loves the way the light sparkles in his whiskey colored eyes. He could stare into them for days and never get tired of watching the flecks of amber catch the light.
He falls back down in his seat again, feeling an emptiness in the pit of his stomach.

He notices that Stiles' lips are slightly swollen and a darker pink than normal. Derek can tell that they have been kissing before they entered the loft. His wolf becomes agitated because those are his lips to kiss, though he thinks he will never taste his sweet breath that always smells of hazelnut and caramels. He knows Malia has tasted those lips and he would do anything to switch places with her.

"Derek are you ok?" Lydia asks looking at the heartbroken man with concern.

"I am fine, let's get started." Derek says looking away from the couple who just started holding hands on the sofa. Derek fights the urge to let his wolf break free and tear the were-coyote to pieces for daring to touch what is his.

 


 

 

Lyrics:
I don't get no sleep
I don't get no peace
Thinking about her
Under your bed sheets
The way that she's whispering
The way that she's pulling you in
Lord knows I've tried,
I can't get her off my mind


Weeks go by an Derek is back in his usual spot, standing in the pouring rain in the middle of a quiet neighborhood street watching a lit window on the second floor of an ordinary house. The two silhouettes are embracing and slowly kissing. Clothes are being discarded as the couple makes their way to the bed where they disappear from view. The light in the room turns off but he can hear muffled noises of their lovemaking coming down from the bedroom above.

He hears her call out Stiles name softly as Derek turns away and slowly melts back into the shadows, hurt and longing etched on his disheveled face. It's more than he can take and he knows he can never have what she has. He will never feel the touch of Stiles hands on his body or hear the sweet sound of his voice whispering Derek's name in desire. He will never be able to kiss his each mole on his pale skin, tracing the constellations of his body with his mouth.


He runs away from the scene, shifting, claws ripping through his finger tips. Relishing in the pain, he charges through the woods like a wild beast, cutting down small trees and foliage in his path. He will keep running until he can no longer run, until he has expelled Stiles from his mind. He knows that the teen is forever wedged into his heart like a giant splinter that will break into pieces, killing him if he tries to remove it.

He runs along the edge of a deep ravine and makes a sharp turn to his right, jumping out into the dark empty void. A feeling of weightlessness fills his body as he releases all of his pent up love, pain, and emotion out in a bellowing yell that takes off through the night sky and out into the galaxy. It takes the form of one single beautiful word…


"STIIIILLLEESSS!"…


He hits the bottom of the ravine with a sickening crunch. Darkness descends on Derek and pain of his broken body rushes in to fill the void the love left behind. He knows his body will recover quickly , he is a powerful Alpha werewolf , but his heart may never truly heal. He closes his eyes to the beauty of the stars above ,and lets the exquisite rush of pain sweep him over the brink of unconsciousness.

 


 


Lyrics:
I want to taste her lips
Yeah, 'cause they taste like you
I want to drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume
I want her long blonde hair
I want her magic touch
Yeah, 'cause maybe then
You'd want me just as much
I got a girl crush


It's Friday night. The pack meeting is about to begin. Derek no longer waits by the window for Stiles to pull into the parking lot. He has started sitting in a hardback chair, in the shadows, far away from the blue sofa. Derek hears the familiar sound of the jeep engine and minutes later they walk in, hand in hand.

Derek turns to talk to Issac who is seated away from the door. Stiles walks by greeting everyone in turn, he gets to Derek ruffles his hair saying something cute and keeps going around the room. Derek's pulse quickens as he tracks his movement around the room. Issac looks curiously at Derek, noticing the sudden change in his demeanor. Malia walks by says her hellos and sits down in Stiles lap placing her head on his chest. Derek's face drops and he quickly gets up and leaves the room.

Issac quietly follows him into the kitchen where Derek is standing facing the closed refrigerator, staring down at the floor with closed fists at his side. Blood is dripping out of his hands onto the concrete floor. Derek has his claws extended into his palms and looks like he is trying to catch his breath. The Alpha looks like he is spiraling into a full blown panic attack.

"Derek, are you ok?" Issac asks hesitantly.

"Yeah, I just need a minute alone." Derek says his voice quavering, his breath catching in his chest.

"Look I know what you are going through here. You are in love with Stiles, and he is with Malia." Issac says nervously walking closer to the Alpha.

"What do you know." Derek huffs out his voice close to breaking.

"I know what it's like to watch someone you love be happy with someone that is not you. I know what it feels like to struggle with your wolf to keep them from hurting that other person, especially because they are your pack mate and a friend. I know what it's like to have to pretend that you are happy for them, when really you are dying on the inside." Issac says turning Derek around by the shoulders to face him. He grabs a towel off the counter, wets it ,and cleans Derek's bloodied hands.

"How did you do it Issac? How did you get over Scott?" Derek asks, tears falling down his stubbled face. His head collapses into Issac's neck as the taller teen pulls him into a tight embrace.

"I didn't…not really. I just try to appreciate the time we spend together and that he is one of my best friend's. I know he will never be with me the way that I want, but he always has my back when it counts." Issac says rubbing circles on the sobbing man's back. "I think you'll see the same thing in Stiles…eventually."

Derek stifles his sobs after a minute, emotional relief from the built up tension of the situation, finally released. "Thank you Issac. I haven't told anyone what's been going on with me." He takes the towel and uses the clean part to wipe his eyes. "Please don't tell anyone, especially not Stiles. I'll be ok."

"Of course I wouldn't, but if it gets to be too much and you need someone to talk to, call me, day or night. After all, that's what pack is for." Issac says smiling. "Now why don't you sneak upstairs, wash your face, change your shirt, and I'll say you spilled a drink on yourself." Issac says

"It's a room full of werewolves, they will know your lying." Derek says with his eyebrow raised.

"Oops!" Issac exclaims as he pours a glass of water down the front of Derek's shirt and jeans. "Looks like you need new pants too. Take your time, I'll bring drinks out for everyone." Issac says laughing, pushing Derek out the door and up the stairs to his bedroom.

 


 


Lyrics:
I got a girl crush
Hate to admit it but
I got a heart rush
It ain't slowing down


Derek comes down twenty minutes later, freshly showered and wearing a new black tee shirt and comfortable sweatpants. The pack is spread out around the room in chairs and laying on the ground with blankets and pillows, a movie playing on the television. Derek looks around, Stiles and Malia laying on the floor next to Scott and Allison, Lydia has the easy chair, and Erica and Boyd have the two hard chairs.

Issac pats the empty space next to him on the sofa, and gives him a small smile. Derek sits down next to the taller teen and Issac pulls his head into his chest. Derek sighs finally letting his guard down and relaxing. Issac gently strokes his fingers through Derek's damp hair as the movie plays. Listening to the Issac's steady heartbeat, Derek closes his eyes and lets himself be lulled into the fist peaceful sleep he has had in weeks.

Tomorrow is a new day with endless possibilities.

 

 


 

Girl Crush by Little Big Town
Written by Liz Rose, Lori Mckenna, Hillary Lindsey • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management US, LLC