Chapter Text
Gakuen Kaitou Sensei (technically Seinen Kakumei Utena Part 17, but can be read on its own)
Utena and Penguindrum characters belong to their various owners.
Warning: Future parts of the work may contain non-explicit depictions of both male and female rape.
Prologue (BETA-ed by the selflessly wonderful TheOnlyFlorence)
Time: Year of The Revolution
Place: Ohtori Academy
At the end of the school hallway stood a simple door, nondescript except for the crude wooden sign hanging upon it. Beyond the door was a wooden flight of stairs, curving downwards into the shades pooling at its bottom. It was the ill-lit, largely unused basement level, where retired classrooms became makeshift storages. What windows the place had were cloaked under heavy curtains, keeping the lights out and the darkness in.
Within this darkness – thick, suffocating, seemingly without ends - was a single open door, beyond which a murky red light could be seen spilling out like blood in deep waters.
And, emitting this red light, a curtained screen on a stage, upon which lanky silhouettes were acting out what appeared to be a Japanese superhero drama . . .
(Crowd [surrounding superhero’s base]: Kamen-sama, our, noble masked hero! We beg you . . . please save us! Come out and fight the world’s evil for us! Hurry, Kamen-sama!)
Offstage, under shades, two feminine, fluttery figures were gushing over a still, seated third.
“Join us,” urged the one wearing a big ribbon atop her curls, “C’mon, join us!” From beside her, the one with twin pigtails bobbed her head up and down in girlish excitement.
“Surely that a new world would open up for our Drama Club if you join us!”
(Bedridden Kamen [inside superhero’s base]: Let me . . . fight for them . . . )
(Kamen’s Love Interest [by Kamen’s side]: You mustn't move anymore! Your wounds . . .)
“You bet it'd open up!”
“Fans of yours would be joining in droves!”
(Kamen [gasping]: Have to . . . be a hero . . . for the people!)
(Crowd [persisting]: Please save us . . . fight for us . . .)
(Kamen’s Love Interest [pleading]: Stop now; don't fight anymore--)
“Oh, you know I cannot act,” said the rail-thin female - one with her hair up in a severe high updo - now clamored upon by the others. Long legs crossed, updo-topped head tilted coyly to one side, the female was idly reading off an opened binder on her lap – one illuminated by a small torch she held in a spidery hand. “I would be no good on stage.”
(Kamen: Have to . . . fight on . . .!)
(Kamen’s Love Interest: You'll die . . .!)
“That's no big deal!” The clamoring duo persisted on, undeterred. “Roses will spin in people’s visions as they behold your beauty!”
“Not anymore.” Sounding somewhat exasperated - yet still warmly indulgent - the clamored female dabbed at her shadow-veiled eyes with a silk handkerchief. “This rose is past her season – even without bearing fruit, she’s now withered flora in the eyes of the world.”
“Tsk, tsk,” the ribbon-wearing girl waved off her words. “The world has always sucked at seeing the truth to begin with!”
“Especially if said truth is hidden behind a mask as magnificently magical as yours!” added the pigtailed girl, picking up and waving their target’s horn-rimmed purple shades about.
(Kamen’s Love Interest: Just let me handle this! [With that, she takes the mask off the Kamen hero, and dons it herself.])
(Unmasked Kamen [in shock]: W-What’re you doing?)
“A mask, you say?” asked the clamored female, taking back the whimsical shades without glancing up. The pigtailed girl nodded firmly.
“A mask.”
(Kamen’s Love Interest: By taking your mask, I shall take over your role as the heroic Kamen-sama! [She points a finger at the unmasked Kamen’s nose.] So you don’t have to fight anymore: just stay down and let me battle the world’s evil in your place!)
(Kamen [exasperated]: My love interest, you can’t just don my mask and call yourself a Kamen! Like any worthy title, the Kamen status has to be earned! For you to just the take the mask away from me, in such a crude, thieving manner--)
(Kamen’s Love Interest [defiant]: Then I’ll take on the less noble title of a Kaitou a.k.a Freak Thief, and rob, steal and cheat my way towards the vanquishing of the world’s evil! [Pause.] As for you . . . you just stay behind here, out of the spotlight, and cater to my needs, okay?)
(Kamen: WHAT?!)
“Now, of course we know you need to keep the mask on, to fool the world into thinking you’re ordinary,” said the ribbon-wearing girl, before dropping her voice conspiratorially as she spoke in the female’s ear. “But, here, where all things go in our Theatre of Shadows . . . you can be your true, striking, outstanding self again!”
(Kaitou a.k.a. Kamen’s Love Interest [adjusting her mask as she goes out to greet the crowd]: World, here I am at your service ~)
(Crowd: Hurry! Go out fight like the hero you are, Kamen-sama! Kaitou-sama! Or Whatever-the-hell-you-are-sama! Just please fight our battles for us . . . please fight the world’s evil for us!
(Kaitou [makes victory sign at the crowd]: Will do!)
“So join us already, Dyako-sama! Our latest production simply demands a leading lady like yourself--”
“W-Who’s there?!”
The fearful, childish voice coming from outside the hall shattered the surreal atmosphere like a hammer blow. As hurried footsteps fast approached from the hallway outside, the red light dimmed, while on and off stage, the shadowy figures all rapidly slinked back into the surrounding darkness and out of view--
All except one – the bespectacled female with the high updo, who put the binder aside as she rose to her full, impressive height to await the intruder.
“H-HELLO?” snarled the scrawny schoolgirl with the twin hightails now barging into the hall with her mop raised weapon-like. “I’m not scared of no--ACK!!”
In the middle of the unlit, drape-covered hall stood a tall, sparse-figured, bespectacled woman of around forty – one whom the girl easily recognized.
“La Merd . . . I mean, Lamer-sensei . . .”
“Sonoda-san. ” Lamer, Dyako, guidance counselor of Ohtori Academy, stared down upon the girl from behind the masking of her horn-rimmed shades. “I do believe that I’ve specifically assigned Kiryuu-san to be the one on cleanup duty throughout this week.” At that, Keiko fidgeted in an attempt to think up some appropriate reply.
“O-Oh, that’s . . . umm . . . Nanami-sama ordered me do it for her!” She started acting all victim-like then, complete with tears, clenched fists, and swaying hips. “Sensei, you know how powerful Nanami-sama is around this school! If I disobey her, she’ll . . .” And the words trailed off, as her gaze chanced upon the opened binder on a seat near where Lamer was standing
There were two text-cluttered pieces of paper, recognizable as student files due to the student I.D. photos attach to them.
They were two stamp-sized photos of a redheaded boy and a pink-haired girl, respectively. In spite of the surrounding dimness, the girl thought she could recognize their--
“Sonoda-san.” Lamer’s crisp, perfunctory voice drew the nosy girl’s attention away from the photos. “You’re dismissed from cleanup duty. Go put the mop and bucket back where they were, and you can go.” The girl blinked at how easily she had been let off the hook.
“Yes; yes of course, Sensei. I’ll be going--”
“Oh, and Sonoda-san?”
Already halfway out the door, Keiko arched backwards in an awkward, insect-like manner to smile stiffly at Lamer.
“Yes . . . ?”
“If you could, tell the Kiryuu siblings that they will both stay away from Himemiya Anthy if they know what’s good for them.”
“Umm . . . Sensei . . .” Face paling, the student stuttered in hesitance . . . and fear. Watching her, the teacher’s thin lips tensed into a flat line.
“Nevermind. I’ll give them some proper guidance myself.” A pause. “You can go now.”
“ . . . yes, Sensei!” And the girl scurried outside with the frantic speed of a fleeing bug, apparently eager to avoid getting further held back by any more demands from the school authority. A series of loud footsteps going up the stairs signaled her exiting the basement; shrill voices, both hers and those of others, came faintly audible even from a distance:
“ . . . all alone in that unlit hall impersonating several voices all on her own . . . crazy old witch!”
“That’s so freaky! To think the rumored ghost haunting the old basement theatre is actually the guidance counselor . . . .”
“Is she even mentally fit to work here?”
“La Merde’s probably set on calling Nanami-sama on her bullying Himemiya . . .”
As the girlish chatter faded completely out of earshot, so too returned the shadows, clamoring Lamer-sensei as they did before
“. . . join us, Dyako-sama, join us on stage . . .”
“I can’t,” answered Lamer, picking up her riding crop by one hand, and her large binder on the other. “My teaching job keeps me busy enough as it is, and my side job keeps me busier still.”
“Oooh . . . you’re talking about that gig of yours!” exclaimed a third girlish shadow – one spotting a hightail – now materializing beside the woman, who smiled at it with the ease of an old friend.
“Yes, that ‘extra extra’ as you’d call it, Cyako-chan.”
“Is it that time of his eternity again?” asked the one wearing the ribbon; Lamer nodded.
“I’m afraid so, Ayako-chan. The World’s Evil just won’t give up on trying to unlock the Forbidden Gates keeping him imprisoned; his Unholy Sister is again trying to forge him a new set of keys to open the lock.” The pigtailed shadow started rubbing her hands together anxiously.
“So . . . which one of the keys in forging are you going to steal away from the Unholy Sister this time?”
“Not one, Byako-chan; two.” Again flipping open the binder, Lamer’s shade-masked gaze fell upon the revealed student files, upon the images of the brilliant teens as captured by the camera. “A girl aspiring to become a prince, a boy aspiring to become a witch . . . theirs are the keys from among the current crop most likely to be able to open the Forbidden Gates.” She closed the binder with a brisk, audible snap. “Which is why I must remove them both from the Academy, to make sure that neither of them could ever be used in opening the Gates’ lock.” A flick of her wrist sent her riding crop thrusting forward, foil-like. “My good sense as a righteous person will not suffer the World’s Evil gaining the power to dominate this troubled world!” The woman then ‘oh-ho-ho-ed’ in her lady-like manner, as the girl-shaped shadows applauded her theatrics like childish fans.
“Then, towards this noble end, we shall again be counting on our Kamen Kaitou Dyako-sama to rob, steal, and cheat her way towards the continued imprisonment of the World’s Evil – just like she always did before!”
“Yes, please keep him imprisoned, like forever, and ever . . . and his sister with him too!”
“Ne . . . using morally questionable means like robbing, stealing and cheating to fight evil . . . is that really such a good idea?”
“Oh . . . you know, it’s not like I even have a choice in the matter.” Walking out the door, Lamer waved a thin hand backwards and at the hall’s shadowy inhabitants. “Then, wish me luck again this time around, girlfriends ~” The shadows waved her goodbye in their jaunty manner.
“Good luck, plus our undying love, Kaitou-saaamaaaaaaaa ~”
End Prologue