There was a bee on the window.
It was crawling around hectically, going this way, then that way.
“Jared? Are you with us?”
It started flying every few seconds, bumping into the window again and again, not understanding that the glass was a solid barrier against the outside world.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“He’s probably still in shock.”
“I just told him about his parents a couple of hours ago.”
“He’s an omega, he needs to get it together. He’s supposed to serve, not cry. And he’s an ugly crier.”
“Have a heart, Hal, he’s only sixteen.”
Jared wondered why the bee wanted to get out in the first place. It was early winter and the temperatures had dropped over night, making the roads icy and slippery. Even if the bee would escape, it would freeze to death in no time.
“Jared, honey, you need to listen to me.”
The bee took up its frenzied crawling again.
“I have found you a nice couple who wants to take you in.”
The bee reached the window frame, clearly confused by its different texture, and turned around again.
“They are very respected members of the community and they live on White Hill. Do you know what that means, Jared?”
“Everybody knows what White Hill means, Jodie. You have found him a filthy rich couple, awesome job, shoulder pat for you. Now, he’s clearly not snapping out of it anytime soon, so I say we move this along. Send him over to Doctor Shriver, have him checked out, see if he needs any shots and have him collared. I want him picked up and out of here by lunch time.”
The bee was still buzzing around frantically and Jared wondered where it got all the energy from. It was such a tiny little thing, so insignificant when it came to the grand scheme of the world.
“Jared? You need to listen to me now. We’ll go to the doctor now and he will give you a check up, okay? Then we’ll finally get a nice collar for you, get something to cover up that bare neck of yours and then you’ll meet your new family. How does that sound?”
The bee had finally given up, crawling around on the bottom of the window frame sluggishly.
Jared thought that if it wouldn’t try to escape, it might survive the winter in the Social Services Center. After all, there were tons of plants in here.
Ten months later
The wind was cutting sharply through the small alleyway and Jared pulled the baggy sweater tighter around him. He was so tired, he needed to rest somewhere, but he heard footsteps. He didn’t know who it was, it could be anybody and he couldn’t risk it. So once again he turned the other way and ran.
He didn’t know how long he moved through the back streets, changing direction each time he heard or saw someone coming, but when it started to rain, he knew he needed to find shelter.
The wind was picking up and the rain drops were shooting almost horizontally through the air, each drop an icy needle prick against his skin, soaking his clothes and making him shiver with the cold.
He found a doorway in a deserted alley that was deep enough to provide at least partial cover and when he curled in tight enough, he didn’t get wet at all. Jared had lots of experience with making himself small. Alpha really hadn’t liked it when Jared had hit his last growth spurt and started towering over him.
It came in handy now and Jared thought he would just stay here until the rain let up and then finally get out of the city.
He felt the fatigue tug at him and he vowed to stay awake. He closed his eyes, just for a moment-
“What the fuck?”
Jared woke with a start, lying flat on his back and looking up into worried green eyes.
With the next breath he inhaled, panic settled deep into his bones.
Alpha. He was smelling Alpha.
“Whoa, hey, don’t be afraid. I’m not gonna hurt you.”
The alpha’s voice was soothing, but the words did nothing to calm Jared down. He wasn’t afraid of getting hurt, he was afraid of having to go back.
“What the hell are you doing here anyway, sleeping in a doorway? Are you here to see Chris?”
Jared had no idea who Chris was, but an alpha had asked him a question.
“No, alpha,” he managed to get out, his voice not much more than a whisper.
“Alright. Whatever is going on with you, we’re not gonna talk about it out here. Jeez, you’re drenched! Come on, lets get you inside.”
The alpha took his hand, dragging him up and Jared couldn’t do anything but go with it. He couldn’t defy an alpha.
Inside it was warm and dry and Jared only now noticed how hard his teeth were chattering.
The alpha led him through a dimly lit corridor into some kind of big office. Another alpha was sitting behind a big desk cluttered with papers and didn’t react when they entered.
“Did you forget something?” he asked without looking up.
“No,” the alpha holding Jared’s arms replied. “But I found something on your doorstep.”
The alpha behind the desk looked up. He didn’t seem as tall and bulky as other alphas, but his features were hard and his blue eyes looked cold.
“What the fuck?” His voice was deep and gravelly and he looked at Jared in complete surprise. “Who are you?”
Jared bit his lip. Without his collar they had no way to find out who he was, unless they involved the police and his alpha had filed a missing omega report. Because his adoption had gone through social services when he was still a minor they hadn’t taken his prints and his alpha had never bothered to have him chipped. Omegas weren’t cataloged in the national omega registry until they came of age, so technically there was no record of Jared.
It made sense, considering he wasn’t even a person by definition of the law.
The alpha who had found him at the door dragged him forwards and sat him down in one of the chairs in front of the desk.
“He isn’t wearing a collar,” he said and he didn’t sound happy about it.
“Ah shit,” the other guy breathed out. “An abandoned omega.”
Jared looked down to the ground. Now they would involve the authorities. Even if his alpha hadn’t filed a missing omega report and they wouldn’t find out that he was a runaway and not abandoned he would still go back into the system. Jared started trembling in his chair. He couldn’t go back.
“Chris, you should call the authorities,” the first alpha suggested and Jared tensed his muscles, ready to bolt. He probably wouldn’t make it, but he refused to give up now.
The alpha called Chris pursed his lips unhappily. “I don’t like the omega ministry. Those guys give me the creeps.”
Hope started to bloom in Jared’s chest.
The other alpha just shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t like them either, but he needs to go back to his alpha or they need to find him a new one.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” Chris sighed and reached for the phone.
Jared jumped up and ran for the door. He didn’t make it more than three steps before he was yanked back by the collar of his sweater.
“Hey, where do you think you’re going?”
Jared started to struggle and to twist until there was a ripping sound, the flimsy material of the sweater gave way, and suddenly he was free. The momentum sent him stumbling down to the floor.
It took him a few seconds to orientate himself, the cool air hitting his exposed upper body was a big help with that, and when he looked up both alphas were standing above him, looking at him with twin expressions of surprise and disgust.
Of course, he was ugly, Alpha had told him often enough and Jared didn’t understand why it still hurt so much.
“Shit,” the green-eyed alpha breathed out and slowly knelt down in front of Jared.
He reached his hand out and Jared couldn’t help but flinch back from the hit. It never came though, instead the alpha started making cooing noises. “Hey, shh, it’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you okay, you’re safe here. C'mere sweety, I’m not gonna hurt you.”
Jared was floundering, he didn’t know how to react to the alpha suddenly talking to him like he was a frightened animal, but he held still and the alpha carefully reached out again and rubbed a thumb across his cheek.
“There we go, that’s it. See, not gonna hurt you. Now, how about you get up, okay? Chris here is gonna get you something dry to wear, get you out of your wet clothes and then we can get you something warm to eat. How does that sound?”
Jared just nodded. What the hell was happening here?
The alpha carefully pulled him to his feet and led him over to the couch on the other side of the room. He wrapped Jared into a blanket, instructed him to take of the rest of his wet clothes, and then went over to Chris who had just come back with a pile of dry clothes.
They were talking so quietly, Jared only understood snatches of their conversation.
“What’s with alphas behaving like assholes?... a dog this badly either!” Chris said.
The other alpha’s reply was too quiet to make much sense of it. “... know, man, it’s fucked up... need an alpha...”
Jared knew where this conversation was headed and he didn’t need to hear it.
He had taken his shot at freedom and he had screwed up. He would go back to Alpha and Beta and his life would continue in the same old despair and agony. It would probably be even worse now and Alpha would never give him another chance to escape. Maybe he would even have him chipped.
He put a hand on his still flat stomach and a tear rolled down his face. His only hope now was that his child wouldn’t be an omega. He didn’t think he could bear the thought of his baby being cursed with the same fate he was.
“What’s with alphas behaving like assholes? You don’t treat a dog this badly either!” Chris muttered angrily.
“I don’t know, man, it’s fucked up. But he’s an omega, he’s gonna need an alpha,” Jensen reminded his friend. “He needs someone to guide him with a firm hand and take care of him, you know how omegas are when they are unclaimed. Flighty and lazy, only waiting for their next fuck. The principle of the system is right, there are just too many screwed up individuals in it.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s just when I see a kid like that, beaten green and blue just because he doesn’t follow orders good enough.” Chris shook his head disapprovingly. “I mean it’s not like they do it on purpose, they’re not malicious or anything, it’s just in their nature to be a little slow sometimes.”
Chris shot a concerned look at the omega.
“Exactly,” Jensen replied. “But there are too many assholes out there who don’t know how to treat an omega correctly. And their childbearing abilities are what keeps our society alive. You can’t just go and abuse them like that. A little bit of discipline is fine, but this....”
Chris nodded grimly. “Somebody used this kid as a punching bag. And no matter what he did, he didn’t deserve that.”
Jensen sighed. “So he’s not abandoned, he’s a runaway.”
It was rare, but not unheard of. Sometimes omegas developed an extremely stubborn streak, refusing to yield to their alpha and trying to run away. These individuals were usually captured and taken to the breeding farms. Jensen didn’t like it anymore than most sensible people, but the government was right in not letting a fertile womb go to waste. And it was the omegas own fault, they knew what happened if they didn’t learn to behave.
And sometimes, which was even rarer, the omegas ran because they were abused.
“Yeah. Which means we can’t call the authorities,” Chris said.
“Why not?” Jensen asked.
“You know why. They’ll just give him back to his alpha and the abuse will continue. By the looks of him he might not survive for long.”
“So what do you propose?”
Chris eyed him calculatingly. “I’m very happy with my bachelor status, but you... You could take him. I know you want an omega.”
“Not before I find a beta,” Jensen argued. “I want a real family.”
Chris shrugged. “Dude, this is the twenty-first century. You don’t need a beta to have kids. If you find one later, great. The kids will get used to her. If not, which looks very likely considering what a grumpy, antisocial bastard you are, you at least won’t be an old father.”
Jensen shot Chris a withering stare. “Thanks man, very nice.”
Chris just grinned in answer.
Jensen looked back to the omega curled up on the couch. He was young, probably around sixteen or seventeen and pretty.
He hadn’t noticed at first, because he was sopping wet and very skinny, but now the color was slowly returning to his cheeks and his hair had started to dry, the long strands curling up adorably around his ears and at the nape of his neck. His eyes were slanted and their color was an indeterminable mix of brown, green and gold, giving his face an exotic air. His wide lips were pink and full, perfect for giving pleasure and even though he was skinny, probably underfed, he had a strong frame and big hands, perfect for household work and bearing children.
Jensen didn’t exactly know what he thought about the running away, he was happy that the omega had escaped his abusive alpha, but there might be some obedience issues.
But still.... the longer he looked at the kid, the more appealing the idea of keeping him sounded.
“He’s pretty,” Chris said and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pockets. “They won’t let you adopt without a beta and I know you’re too much of a cheapskate to pay a family for their omega. This is perfect for you.”
Jensen nodded. Chris was right. This was his chance to get an omega without any hassle. As long as the former alpha hadn’t chipped him, there was no way anyone could dispute his claim. He would just collar the pretty omega, chip him – with his history of trying to run away Jensen didn’t want to take the risk – and then he could take him home.
If anyone asked where he got him from, he could ask Chris to back him up.
He turned to his friend who was back in his chair, legs thrown on the desk, and staring at the omega pensively. “You gonna back my story if anyone asks questions?”
“Sure,” Chris answered and took another deep drag from his cigarette. “Seller-client-privilege, all my transactions are confidential, but yeah, you bought him here.”
At that, the omega perked up. Wide, terrified brown eyes were jumping back and forth between Chris and Jensen and the thin hands holding the blanket were shaking. The poor thing.
Jensen slowly walked over to the omega, careful not to startle him. He sat down on the couch and the omega leaned as much away from him as possible without moving away from his spot.
Jensen’s heart clenched. The omega was clearly terrified and Jensen couldn’t blame him. The scars and marks on his body told a story of intense abuse.
Jensen wondered if he would ever get the omega to trust him, sometimes they were just too broken. Maybe it wasn’t worth it, taking in this damaged creature, but when he slowly stretched out his hand the omega closed his eyes and let him stroke his cheek without fuss.
Jensen hummed approvingly. “There’s a good boy. And you’re real pretty, aren’t you?”
Brown eyes opened and looked at Jensen with confusion. He couldn’t help but chuckle. The omega was just too adorable.
“Oh yeah, has nobody ever told you what a pretty boy you are?”
The omega shook his head once and Jensen thought that with the way he was abused, it was really no surprise.
“But you are,” he told the omega. “Now, why don’t you open that pretty mouth for me and let me see your teeth?”
The omega didn’t react, but his eyes grew as big as saucers. Jensen decided to give him some leeway because he was probably still in shock and this was all happening very fast.
He took the omega’s chin in his hand and pressed his thumb and index finger into his cheeks.
“Open you mouth,” he ordered more sternly and the omega obeyed.
His teeth were white and even, obviously well cared for. He couldn’t find any holes or discoloration or any signs of serious malnutrition.
He let go and the omega snapped his mouth shut.
“Very nice. Let me see the rest of you.”
The omega hesitantly lowered the blanket and looked submissively to the ground. So he knew how to behave properly. That just made the abuse all the worse and when Jensen saw the bruises again, anger welled up inside him. That alpha deserved a serious beating.
He stroked the omega’s skin and was pleasantly surprised by the soft texture. The muscles under his skin were a little weak and he was too skinny for Jensen’s taste, but that was nothing a few good meals wouldn’t fix.
Upon closer inspection he saw that most of the scars were still red and fresh, the older ones had nearly faded to nothing. With the right skin care and lotions they might become almost invisible. Jensen could live with that.
He let his fingers trail over the omega’s nipples to judge their sensibility. They hardened almost immediately, a good sign for high fertility.
He reached lower and opened the blanket further. The omega stiffened slightly, but didn’t protest. Considering the circumstances he was very well behaved. Jensen knew he had made his decision even before he had tested the most important thing, but he needed to have this omega.
His cock and balls were big for an omega, but not ungainly.
“Turn around for me, sweety,” he told the omega and stroked soothingly over his shaking flanks as the boy positioned himself on the couch. Who knew what horror scenarios he was thinking about.
“Relax,” Jensen murmured, trying to keep his voice soft, “I told you, I’m not gonna hurt you. Just need to take a look, okay?”
The trembling lessened a bit and Jensen patted the omega’s back. “Good boy.”
His back and his ass were as pretty as the rest of him, even though they had clearly born the brunt of the abuse. Jensen looked closer, confused by the regular pattern until it hit him.
The omega flinched and Chris looked equally startled. “What?”
Jensen fought to keep his voice even. It wouldn’t do to scare the omega now. “That bastard whipped him.”
The omega started to shake again and Jensen let his hands glide soothingly over his back. “It’s okay, sweety, it’s not your fault. No matter what you did, he shouldn’t have done this to you. You poor thing. But don’t worry, I’m gonna take care of you. Just need to check one more thing, then we’re all done. You’re doing so good, such a good boy.”
Jensen continued to murmur sweet nothings as he brought his fingers to the omega’s hole to test his slick and his elasticity. The muscles gave way easily enough and his opening was beautiful, pink and fluttering around his fingers and with a few strokes of his fingers he could feel the slick start to build up.
His dick started to harden in his pants and he willed it back down. There would be time for that later.
He could feel a couple of uneven bumps on the boy’s rim and he didn’t need to look closer to know what they were.
Anal tearing in omegas was rare since their bodies were built to take a knot, but it could still happen, if a fully inflated knot was ripped out for example. It was actually the most common form of omega abuse, since a lot of alphas didn’t want that much intimate time with their omegas.
“Tearing?” Chris asked and Jensen looked over to his friend.
He didn’t need to answer, Chris understood from the look on his face.
He leaned back in his chair and flicked his cigarette out of the open window. “I hate this fucking town.”
Jensen couldn’t blame him. Chris came from a small town in the countryside and it was common knowledge that omegas were generally treated better there. The abuse mostly happened in the cities, where entitled assholes lived lives full of decadence and opulence.
Jensen gave the omega a pat on his backside to signal the end of the inspection and got up to get the new clothes.
“Alright, get dressed. I’m not letting you go back to the asshole who abused you and I don’t have an omega of my own, so I’m gonna take you in.”
The omega slowly dressed in the clothes he gave him, eyes trained on the ground the whole time. His movements were slow and stiff, but a lot of the bruises were still fresh, so it was probably painful for him to move.
Omegas weren’t as sensible to pain as people, but it still had to hurt. Jensen wasn’t a fan of coddling omegas, he knew there were people who treated them like babies or pets, but that only made them give in to their laziness. They needed a caring, but firm hand.
When the omega was dressed, he slowly stood up. He was still ducking his head and hunching his shoulders, but Jensen could see that he was tall, probably around six feet, almost as tall as he was. Huh. Well, he would have preferred a shorter omega, but if he was this tall then he had good genes that would provide for strong children.
The omega suddenly said something, but it was too quiet to hear.
“What did you say?”
The omega looked up and for a short moment he saw something flash in those slanted eyes, before he looked back to the ground.
“I was wondering why you would take me in. You can just let me go, I won’t be any trouble.”
God, some omegas really were simple.
“I don’t have an omega of my own and you need an alpha, kid,” Jensen explained slowly. “Your heat’s gonna come sooner or later and you need someone to guide you through your life. You don’t want to end up on a farm, do you?”
He could see the fear on the omega’s face and he rigorously shook his head. “Not the farm, please alpha, not the farm. I’ll be good, I swear!”
“Don’t fret, I’m not going to give you to a farm. You’ll have it good with me, you see. There’s even a nice room in the basement you can call your own, if you want.”
There was another emotion in the omega’s eyes, dread maybe, but Jensen didn’t think any further instructions in Chris’s office would be helpful. He needed to get his omega to a doctor and then home.
“Chris, do you have a transport collar?”
“Sure. I’ll go get one. But no getting frisky in my office!”
The omega stiffened at that and Jensen was angry; angry at the omega for not believing him already and angry at the other alpha for damaging this beautiful creature so much.
“I told you, I’m not gonna hurt you, sweety. And your body needs a knot, you’ll like our coupling.”
The omega looked at him, but his face was a blank mask and Jensen sighed.
“Look, I can see that your last alpha treated you harshly, but I won’t do that. You’ll be perfectly safe with me. Do you understand me?”
The omega looked at him for another moment, then he nodded.
“Good. Before I forget, what’s your name? If it’s not too bad you can keep it if you want.”
The omega’s pretty mouth opened, but no sound came out. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Jared,” he said, his voice hoarse but not too deep.
“Jared. I like it actually. It starts with a J, just like my name.”
He could see the question in Jared’s eyes and he chuckled at himself. He hadn’t even told the omega his name.
“My name is Jensen Ackles. You will call me alpha of course, but when we are in the privacy of my bedroom, you can call me by my given name.”
Jared was clearly surprised by that, but at that moment Chris came back with a simple black collar. It had a classic d-ring on it with a plastic tag.
Chris handed him a piece of paper and Jensen filled out his information, before inserting the paper into the plastic tag. Chris had signed the other side of the paper and with that, the transport collar was legal and Jared belonged to him.
It filled him with an unexpected satisfaction, fitting the collar around Jared’s neck and the omega trembled, clearly in relief at finally wearing a collar again. Omegas craved collars, just like they craved knots.
It would even be impossible now for the former alpha to get him back. If an omega managed to escape, it was because of the keeper’s negligence and he forfeited his right to the omega, unless the omega was chipped so he could always be tracked.
During his inspection Jensen had seen that Jared was never fitted with a chip, an oversight he would correct right now.
“Chris, I’ll call you later.”
“Sure, man. Take your time.”
Chris’s dirty chuckle followed him as he lead Jared out the back door, where he had parked his car.
“Come on. Let’s see if Doctor Beaver can fit you in today.”
Jared looked down the alley with sad eyes before he climbed in the backseat.
Jensen slipped in behind the wheel and activated the omega lock.
He looked at Jared in the rear-view mirror. “I’m sure you’re looking forward to a hot bath and a good meal. I think I have enough stuff at home, we won’t even have to go shopping before you can cook something.”
Jared smiled at him for the first time then, it looked a little strained, but Jensen took it as a good sign.
He started the car and drove towards Jim’s practice.
Jared looked around the room that would be his for the rest of his life.
He raised his right hand and touched the small band-aid between his shoulder blades, where the doctor had inserted the chip. It would be impossible to run away now, his new alpha would be able to track his every move.
Jared looked around the room in resignation. He supposed it could be much worse. Alpha and Beta had kept him in a cage in the basement, with no furniture or lights and only a flimsy blanket.
His new room was simply furnished, but it had a bed with a pillow and a comforter, a dresser and a bedside table. There was even a small bathroom attached to it with a toilet and a shower.
Considering his last lodging it was pure luxury. Considering the life he had lived with his parents- Jared cut himself off. It wouldn’t do to think of them, that only made it worse.
His parents had dreamed of a better life for him and Jared had believed them. It would never happen now, there was no happy ending for him and just the thought of his new alpha finding out that he was already pregnant....
But he wouldn’t think about that now. He had at least a month before he started showing, maybe even longer if his new alpha allowed him to eat more.
Jared wasn’t sure what to think of him, this Jensen Ackles.
He seemed to believe every prejudice and every lie the government told about omegas, but he had also recoiled at the thought of omegas being abused.
And the way he had talked to Jared, like he was a dog or another animal – Jared had to suppress the hysterical laughter bubbling up inside of him. If his new alpha would treat him only half as well as Beta had treated her Chihuahua, he would live like a prince.
Oh, who was he kidding? He would never lead another life than that of a slave. And just because his alpha didn’t condone abuse didn’t mean he wouldn’t punish him.
Brown and feathery or yellow and rubbery, a duck was still a duck.
Jared sighed and went to take a shower. At least he would get warm water here. Anything was better than the garden hose.
When Jared stood under the shower and waited for the water to get warm, he once again realized he had gotten his hopes up too early. When would he finally learn that there was no hope left?
He took the block of soap and ignored the goosebumps as he cleaned himself under the cold spray.
His whole body was still aching from the last beating – Beta hadn’t liked the way he had prepared the spinach cream – and the spot where the chip had been inserted itched.
Doctor Beaver had been surprisingly kind for an alpha, but he was old and mellow.
He had still ignored Jared, talking to his new alpha as if he wasn’t even there. He probably thought Jared didn’t understand what they were talking about anyway.
Doctor Beaver had asked his alpha if he really wanted to chip Jared, it was such a huge responsibility, there was a reason after all a lot of alphas didn’t have their omegas chipped.
Abandoning an omega was punishable with a hefty fine. Chipped omegas could also be tracked by the government and a certain amount of offspring output was expected. The government wanted to keep up the population after all.
The government also respected alpha supremacy though, so they had left this loophole in the laws. No chip, no obligation.
Jared knew that the laws surrounding the chips were only in place to soothe the liberals and those alpha-beta couples whose omegas bore them more omegas. The government didn’t want the hassle of raising them, so with the promise of the chipping there were a lot of families who kept their omegas within their family.
Granted, they were sent to special schools, but they lived with their families and their parents decided who they would be given to. It was a very accommodating arrangement for everyone.
The consciousness of the ruling class was eased, there was no whisper of slavery, but alphas and betas still had the opportunity to do whatever they pleased.
When Jared had learned about those laws he had marveled at the evil genius of the human race. But then again he had also believed that his parents would whisk him away to Europe.
Doctor Beaver had continued to give him a superficial exam and had proclaimed him healthy. Jared had been so relieved his knees almost collapsed when he got off the table. He’d been so sure they would discover the pregnancy, but apparently it hadn’t even crossed their minds to check.
After his shower he went up into the living-room. It was time to face the music.
His new alpha was reading a book in a big armchair, but when Jared entered the room hesitantly, not quite knowing what to expect or how to behave, the alpha put his book down.
“Good, you’re done. In future I expect you to shower faster. I want you to be thorough, but there is no reason to linger, you understand?”
Jared nodded, although he didn’t understand how his alpha could think that he would want to linger in the ice cold shower.
“If I give you an order or ask you a question, I expect you to answer!” the alpha said sharply.
“Yes, Alpha,” Jared said, his voice trembling. Shit, shit, shit. He couldn’t screw up this early. He wasn’t sure if the baby would survive another beating.
His alpha took a deep breath. “I understand that the first few days will be difficult for you. I might demand different things than your former alpha or expect you to do things in another way. I will explain everything, but I expect you to listen carefully, I don’t want to have to repeat myself. I am your alpha now and you will do everything the way I want it, understood?”
Jared bowed his head. “Yes, Alpha.”
“Good. Then let me show you around.”
Jared followed Alpha through his house. It was big and spacious, but there wasn’t much in the way of decorations. The walls were lined with bookcases and every available surface and sometimes the floor itself were covered in books. That would be a bitch to clean.
Upstairs was Alpha’s bedroom, his bathroom and a big study. Alpha didn’t explain what he did here, only that he was not to be disturbed, but of course, it was not important for an omega to know what his alpha did for a living.
The garden was a mess, weeds were growing everywhere and the vegetation lining the lawn was just that – vegetation.
“How much do you know about gardening?” Alpha asked.
“Not much,” Jared answered honestly. There was no point in lying. “My former alpha didn’t have a garden.”
Alpha hummed. “Well, maybe I can get yo some instructional videos on gardening. As long as you’re not pregnant you have a lot of time on your hands, that would be a good way to fill it.”
“Yes, Alpha,” Jared answered demurely. And who knew, maybe gardening might be fun. It would give him at least a chance to spend some time outside.
The Alpha opened a door to another room. “This is the laundry room. I expect you to iron all my shirts and dress pants, for the other clothes it won’t be necessary. As for the cleaning, I hope I don’t need to explain how to keep this house in order.”
“No, Alpha. I know how to clean.”
Alpha smiled and nodded. “Good. Let’s go to the kitchen. There’s not much in there right now, I mostly live on take-out, but I’ll take you shopping with me next week and then you can stock up on spices and whatnot. I’ll give you a list of things I don’t like and the things I like best and you can cook based on that.”
“Yes, Alpha,” Jared answered once again. There weren’t really a lot of other words he needed.
“Alright,” Alpha said, “then go ahead and cook dinner. I’ll be in the living room if you have any questions.”
He left and Jared was alone in the big kitchen.
Jared knew the part about him having questions was a test. Omegas weren’t supposed to bother their alphas with questions, Jared had learned that the hard way, so he would have to figure everything out for himself.
The kitchen appliances were nice and new but the contents of the cupboards were horrifying. Alpha had salt, pepper and three more spices, there was pasta and some canned food and the fridge was stocked with ingredients for sandwiches, containers with left-over Chinese food and beer. How was he supposed to cook a nice meal with that?
In the end he settled on making a simple salad and pasta with tomato sauce, there was really nothing else to it.
When he brought the food out into the living room Alpha was very pleased though and even praised him, because it smelled so good.
“Now, unless I want your company you’ll kneel by my side until I’m done and then you eat in the kitchen, but I think we have a lot to talk about, so get yourself a plate and eat with me.”
Jared tried to keep the surprise of his face and headed back into the kitchen to fix himself a plate. His former alpha would never have allowed him to eat at the table, Jared wasn’t even allowed under the table unless he was warming his cock, usually he had knelt in the corner of the room, waiting to clear the plates so he could eat the scraps.
Jared wasn’t sure how much food to put on his plate, so he filled it with about half the amount he had given Alpha. After all, he had said that Jared was too skinny.
Alpha still frowned at his plate and Jared’s stomach dropped. Stupid, stupid, why was he always so stupid?
“Jared, why is there only so little food on your plate?”
“I’m sorry, Al- what?” Had Alpha said so little?
Alpha sighed. “Jared, I told you you’re too skinny. Now go and fill up your plate. Doctor Beaver said you have to gain at least ten pounds, even though fifteen might be better when the time for a pregnancy comes around. Now, I don’t care if you’re hungry or not, you have to eat.”
“Yes, Alpha,” Jared said and went back into the kitchen. He filled up his plate until it was completely full and then he just stood there, unable to move. The last time he had eaten this much food in one meal, even in one day, had been back with his parents.
He felt his eyes burning and rigorously blinked away the tears. He had stopped crying after the first horrible month, he wouldn’t start now. At least he wouldn’t have to fear that his baby could be malnourished now.
Back at the table Alpha nodded approvingly and Jared supposed he should be grateful, so he smiled at Alpha and told him thank you. Alpha was clearly pleased with that and smiled when he continued to eat.
After he had cleared his plate Alpha leaned back in his chair and fixed his green eyes on Jared. They were really pretty, big with long lashes, very un-alpha like in fact. His alpha was attractive, Jared suddenly realized and it made him uneasy that he would notice something like that. He didn’t want to have positive emotions for his alpha.
“I was wondering,” Alpha said and his voice was softer now, content after eating a good meal. Jared liked it.
“For how long did your original family send you to an omega school?”
Jared knew that the average were three years, but the basics could be covered in one year. Omegas didn’t need to learn how to read and write, and basic housekeeping didn’t take that much time to learn, even if one operated under the assumption that omegas were less intelligent than alphas and betas.
“They didn’t send me to a school,” Jared answered his alpha’s question. “I was home-schooled.”
Jared thought of his parents and what they had thought about omega schools. There was a reason he had been home-schooled. He didn’t tell his alpha that.
Alpha’s forehead creased in displeasure but all he said was, “then I’ll get you some educational videos and you can brush up on etiquette and child care.”
When Alpha didn’t say anything else, Jared took it as his cue to clear the table. Alpha was pleased with his initiative and told him to start with the laundry. Apparently the cleaning could wait until the next morning.
There were heaps of dirty clothes in the laundry room and it took him fifteen minutes alone to sort them into darks, colors, whites and the towels and cleaning rags that needed to be washed on the hot wash cycle.
While the machine spun, he cleaned and reorganized the laundry room. It was really dirty and it took him a while to scrub all the grime away.
Alpha poked his head in when he was emptying the dryer.
“Follow me,” he said and led Jared up to his bedroom to show him where to put the stuff in his closet.
When Jared wanted to go back down to put the next load in – it was only eleven clock and according to popular belief omegas didn’t need more than five hours of sleep every night – Alpha took his hand.
“You can just get undressed and hop in the bed, I’ll be with you in a couple of minutes,” Alpha told him and Jared felt his stomach drop. Not that he had thought he would get a grace period, but still. He could have done with one night without getting fucked.
When Jensen came out of his bathroom he was pleased to see that his omega had executed his orders perfectly.
He was kneeling on the bed, completely naked, ass pushed up in the air, legs slightly spread and his head lowered down on the comforter, resting on his forearms. It was the perfect picture and Jensen was instantly hard. He thought he had behaved very understandingly the whole day, letting the omega get acquainted, but he knew that the omega needed a good knotting sooner or later, despite former abuse.
He had still planned to start out with just a blow job to give Jared some more time to adjust, but seeing him like this – there was no way he could reject this offering.
Jensen would be gentle this time, show him he had nothing to fear and then in the future he would be able to take Jared whenever and however he wanted without having to be extra careful.
He quickly shed his shirt and his boxer briefs and climbed on the bed behind his omega.
Jared trembled, probably as much in anticipation as in fear and Jensen ran a soothing hand over his back, once again reveling in the smoothness of his skin, only disrupted by the occasional deep scar.
“It’s alright sweety,” he calmed Jared, “you be a good boy for me and I’ll give you what you need.”
He heard Jared exhale a shuddering breath and he moved in between his legs, soothing the omega with his physical presence.
“Relax, I’m not gonna hurt you.”
Jared’s breathing slowly evened out and Jensen ran his hands over his exquisite ass. Jared had really been a lucky find.
Jensen started to slowly stroke over his tightly furled whole, coaxing the muscles open. As soon as Jared lost his fear he would be much more receptive, at least Jensen hoped that that would happen. Otherwise he would need to get a plug to stretch him.
He reached around Jared and stroked his soft dick and his balls. They weren’t the main source of pleasure for male omegas, but Jensen thought it might help now.
Jared flinched when he touched him and Jensen stilled.
“Jared,” he said, “I told you I’m not going to hurt you.” He gave his sack a warning squeeze and Jared shuddered.
“I’m sorry Alpha,” he stuttered out. “I was just surprised, no one has ever touched me there. Please forgive me.”
Jensen nodded to himself, he should have thought of that. A lot of alphas ignored male omegas' genitals.
“It’s alright,” he told Jared and when he continued to stroke his dick and rub his opening, he could feel the member hardening under his hands and the first drops of slick leak out of his hole. Jensen inhaled deeply and shit, Jared smelled good. It was the typical sweet omega scent but it was so much richer than anything he had ever smelled before. He wanted to taste it.
He bent forwards and licked across Jared’s hole and the omega flinched again and squeaked.
“Jared, this is getting really tiring,” Jensen scolded him and pressed his fingers harder into the meaty swell of Jared’s ass. His omega needed to learn to keep still.
“Sorry,” Jared panted out and his voice was breathy and slightly ragged. He was definitely aroused. “Just never felt anything like this, sorry, so sorry Alpha!”
Jensen stopped short. “How could your former alpha resist this?” he asked and licked over Jared’s hole again.
His omega let out a low moan. “I- I don’t know, but he never did.”
Jensen shook his head. “Well it’s his loss, because you taste delicious.”
Jared moaned again and what a pretty sound it was. Jensen always reveled at the emotions he could make his partners feel, loved the power he had over their bodies, but with Jared and his history of abuse it was all the much sweeter.
Arousal was starting to fog up his mind and he brought his dick to Jared’s waiting whole and pushed in. He felt Jared tense around him, gripping him so tight it almost hurt and he gave the omega’s ass a squeeze.
He did and Jensen was finally free to thrust into him. Jared felt incredible around him and it had been a while since he actually had sex, so it wasn’t really surprising he wasn’t able to draw this out.
His strokes became faster and harder, he pushed into Jared as deep as he could, eyes trained on the delicious curve of Jared’s ass and the point where Jensen’s dick entered his omega’s body.
“Feel so good, such a good little omega for me.”
Jared shuddered at the praise and his hips pushed back a tiny bit. Suddenly Jensen didn’t just want to fuck his omega anymore, he wanted him to move with him.
He started praising Jared, telling him what a good boy he was, how prettily he was taking his cock and Jared’s moans got louder.
“So close, sweety, you wanna take my knot?” Jensen breathed out, but Jared was too breathless to answer.
No matter, Jensen’s knot was already growing and he pushed deep into Jared, grinding his hips until his knot was fully inflated. Jared made a choked off sound and then Jensen felt his own release pulsing through him, making his toes curl and his heart almost beat out of his chest.
He fell down on Jared who clearly struggled with his weight and Jensen hurried to get off the omega. He rolled them to their sides and arranged Jared until he was lying comfortably in his arms. Jensen wasn’t that much of a fan of the knotting, but it was a biological safety measure, so he usually sucked it up and used the time to nap.
He closed his eyes and was slowly drifting off when his hand grazed Jared’s dick. Jared’s still hard dick.
Jensen was wide awake again.
“Jared, why didn’t you come?” God, he really hoped it wasn’t something medical.
Jared tensed in his arms, milking his knot in the process and Jensen had to concentrate through the wave of lust that hit him to hear what Jared was mumbling.
“My former alpha didn’t care for it. He said he didn’t want to deal with the mess and I- he said I didn’t deserve it anyway.” Jared whispered the last words so quietly Jensen almost didn’t hear them.
“Unbelievable,” he exclaimed. “Your last alpha really was a piece of work. How could he be so insensitive and stupid?” Jensen was scandalized. Everybody knew that omegas conceived so much better when they had regular orgasms themselves.
He stroked over Jared’s dick. “For the future, I want you to come, okay?”
Jared nodded hesitantly and Jensen nodded. “Good. I’ll teach you to come on just my cock, but for now you can get yourself off.”
Jensen closed his eyes, fully prepared to glide into sleep to the last ounces of come getting milked out of his dick by Jared’s fluttering whole, but his omega didn’t move.
Jensen sighed. If he wasn’t so tired and still high on the orgasmic bliss he would seriously think about disciplining him.
“Now, Jared,” was all he said though and Jared immediately moved his hand and then Jensen could hear the telltale slide of flesh on flesh.
He pushed his hips forward a little bit, heard Jared’s breathing speed up and he fell asleep to the sweetest moans he had ever heard.
When Jensen woke up the next morning he was alone in his bed. It took him a few moments to remember why that wasn’t a good thing.
Jared. He had taken in the omega yesterday, had taken him to bed and now he was gone. Without his permission.
Jensen grumbled and got out of bed. He hoped he wouldn’t regret taking Jared in.
When he got downstairs, he stopped short. It was only nine o’clock, but Jared had clearly cleaned up the entire living room, he could hear the muted rumbling of the washing machine and there was breakfast on the table. Well at least some cut fruit, toast and a glass of orange juice.
Just then Jared came out of the kitchen and looked at him with wide eyes.
“Good morning Alpha,” he said, voice wavering slightly. “Would you like breakfast now or later? I didn’t know when you had to get up, but I prepared everything I just need to heat it up and-”
“Jared, stop!” Jensen ordered and the omega immediately stopped talking. “What I want to know right now is why you aren’t in bed anymore?”
Jared’s face scrunched up in confusion. “In bed?”
“Yes,” Jensen answered impatiently. He really didn’t want to say everything twice. “In bed. With me.”
“I’m so sorry alpha, I didn’t know when you would get up and I didn’t want to wake you up by coming in too early.”
Jared looked at him with so much fear in his eyes, Jensen sighed. He had really underestimated how much the abuse would impact Jared’s daily life.
He sat down on the couch and waved Jared over. “C'mere.”
Jared came immediately, watching him like a hawk. Jensen drew him into his lap and even though Jared was clearly surprised he relaxed a bit when Jensen started stroking his hair.
Jensen had seen a documentary once about omegas. The narrator had been a new-agey hippie kind of guy who had sprouted all kinds of bullshit, how omegas were all delicate creatures and shouldn’t need to work so much and should be cuddled and loved instead.
Jensen had changed the channel after ten minutes because it was just ridiculous, but he remembered the sequence about how omegas thrived on bodily contact and should always be petted and cuddled. He’d never thought he’d go along with it but seeing the fear in Jared’s eyes... Maybe it would help while he put down some ground rules.
Even though Jared was almost as tall as Jensen he had somehow managed to curl himself up in a ball in Jensen’s lap and he couldn’t help but smile. His omega really was adorable.
“So, I realize I should maybe have told you all of this yesterday, but I thought it could wait. Looks like we need to do this now though.”
Jared immediately tensed and peeked up at him from under his lashes. Jensen felt the anger again, but this time it was solely directed at the other alpha. He finally understood why some alphas and betas got so riled up when the topic of omega abuse came up. To hurt such a gentle creature, Jensen really couldn’t understand how people could do it.
“Don’t worry, I’m not mad at you. You couldn’t have known,” he said and Jared looked at him, clearly surprised.
Jensen stroked a thumb along the exquisite line of his cheekbone – god, he really was beautiful – and gave him a reassuring smile. “Jared, I told you before, I’m not gonna hurt you. You need to remember that, okay?”
Jared gave him a jerky nod.
“Good. As for how things are gonna go around here, if we go to sleep I my bed I expect you to stay there until I tell you otherwise.”
Once again Jared looked at him like he was telling him that pigs could fly and Jensen started to get impatient.
“What?” he bit out, more harshly than he intended and he could feel Jared flinch slightly. Shit.
“Nothing, Alpha.” When Jensen just raised his eyebrows Jared stuttered, “I was never allowed to sleep in their bed.”
Of course he wasn’t. Jeez, Jensen really needed start using his brain here.
“Well, we already established that your former alpha was a dick, so don’t worry about it.”
Jared nodded and even gave him a small smile and Jensen felt himself relax.
“Like I said, you’ll sleep in my bed unless I say otherwise and as long as I don’t tell you anything else you’ll stay in bed until I wake up. It’s always good to start the day out with a little fun, don’t you think?” Jensen grinned at Jared, because morning sex was definitely the way to go and Jared had to lower his eyes to hide his arousal. It was adorable. And sad, because Jared’s former alpha probably hadn’t allowed him any pleasure.
“Hey,” he said and gripped Jared’s chin, pulling his face up, “I want you to enjoy our time together, okay? There is no reason to be ashamed for being aroused.”
For a moment Jared looked confused then something clicked and he nodded. “Of course Alpha, sorry.”
Jensen ruffled his hair. “Don’t worry about it.”
They sat on the couch in comfortable silence, Jared curled up in him but Jensen noticed him still being tense.
His omega drew in a deep breath. “You said you wanted to tell me how things were going to go around here...” he trailed off, clearly to afraid to ask any more questions. Jensen wanted to hit himself in the face.
“Yes, you’re right. Like I said, you stay in bed with me until I let you go, then you can make breakfast and coffee. Coffee is very important.” He looked at Jared to drive this point home.
“Coffee is the most important thing in the morning,” he said slowly, so Jared would understand.
Jared nodded, a little bit nonplussed and Jensen wondered what wasn’t to understand. “The first thing you do,” he explained, “is make coffee. Every morning. Strong, black coffee.”
Jared nodded again and Jensen hoped he got it.
“I work from home and you can use the day to clean and do other stuff.” Jensen realized he had no idea how Jared would occupy himself the whole day.
He had an old, barren omega cleaning lady that was dropped of by a housekeeping company twice a week and a service that picked up dirty laundry once a week and that was enough. He should really get Jared those gardening videos. And he needed to cancel the cleaning service.
“Anyway, I’ll tell you when I’m hungry, sandwiches are enough for lunch and you can cook dinner in the evening. I’ll get you those gardening videos and I expect you to tidy it up. Can you do that without me telling you what you should do every step of the way?” God, Jensen did not want to have to make creative decisions about his garden.
Jared swallowed nervously. “I can try. If you don’t want it to look a certain way?”
“God no! I really don’t care if there’s a rose garden out there or a bonsai plantation, just make it look tidy. And not too extravagant.”
Jared nodded slowly and Jensen hoped he wasn’t expecting too much of his omega.
“Everything clear now?”
“Good. Then I think we should go shopping. We need food and you need clothes.”
He eyed Jared’s pants and the shirt he was wearing – standard omega-wear, probably from a dresser in the basement – and he didn’t like it. It was way too ungainly and Jensen remembered from the documentary that omega-wear was always low quality material and could lead to skin rashes. The documentary might have been a lot of hippie crap, but looking at the clothes and feeling them under his hands, he had to agree with them. These clothes were unacceptable.
Jared was looking at him surprised, probably because of the new clothes and Jensen wondered if he would get a real smile out of Jared when he got him new clothes. Suddenly he wanted to see that very much.
“C'mon, let’s go.”
It was blue and white, a completely ordinary checkered shirt. It had a collar and a row of tiny white buttons down the front, long sleeves and it wasn’t even particularly soft to the touch.
It was a perfectly normal piece of clothing, but after almost a year of going through the most horrendous things he never thought he could survive, this simple piece of stitched together cotton was what brought him to his knees.
Jared sat in front of his new bed, surrounded by the bags from the shopping trip with Alpha containing the first normal clothes he was allowed to wear since his parents had died; blue plaid clutched to his chest and he was bawling like a baby. And if that thought didn’t make it worse.
He decided to blame the hormones.
He was still sobbing when he managed to get off the floor to put his new clothes away. Alpha had told him to put his stuff away and then make lunch and Jared fully intended to do just that. As soon as he could stop crying.
His face was still slightly reddened and his eyes were puffy when he knocked on the door to Alpha’s study, plate in hand.
“Come in.” Alpha’s voice was muted through the heavy door and Jared took a deep breath and hunched his shoulders in that way that would make him look at least an inch smaller.
Alpha hadn’t said outright that he didn’t like his size, but when the saleswoman in the shop for more upper-class omega clothes had commented on his height, Alpha had given a long suffering sigh and told her that he probably wasn’t done growing either. The saleswoman had clucked her tongue and asked if his alpha had looked into hormone treatment for growth-stopping. Alpha hadn’t replied verbally and since Jared was standing in the fitting room, trying on clothes (the closed curtain was for the comfort of the alphas and betas of course, not everybody appreciated the sight of an ugly omega body) he couldn’t see how his alpha reacted to the comment. To be honest, he didn’t really want to.
He knew enough about how some alphas and betas altered the physical appearance of their omegas, everything ranging from piercings and tattoos to actual hobbling was possible.
His parents might have raised him sheltered from the real world and in the beginning he had been confused by a lot of what his new owners had alluded to, but then he had met Mike at the backdoor.
The omega who worked for the meal service that delivered food to his former alpha’s house had been Jared’s only real contact with the outside world, and thankfully he had been a chatty one. Mike had been a constant source of knowledge about how society really worked. Due to overbreeding he was barren now and worked as a labor slave. He said he was lucky he was bald and not so pretty, because otherwise they might have sold him to a brothel.
He was actually one of the few who had lucked out, getting a job where he was only supervised by his tracking chip most of the time, and as long as he delivered everything in a satisfying manner he wasn’t punished. He shared a small room at the omega plantation with another omega and even though she was already in her sixties, they got along fine. Mike was as happy as possible for an omega. Apart of course from the ones he called pet-omegas, but Jared still had a hard time believing that alphas or betas would coddle their omegas.
Either they bought the crap the government fed them and they treated omegas like animals or they were like his father and realized it was all bullshit. As far as Jared was concerned there was no in between.
So he had just snorted at Mike every time he brought it up, standing huddled together at the backdoor and stealing a few moments of forbidden conversation.
Sometimes these short encounters once a week where all that had kept him sane, had reminded him that he was still human and not the unworthy scum his old alpha wanted him to believe he was.
“Jared?” Alpha’s voice startled him and he looked up, not realizing that he had already opened the door. It was one of his biggest handicaps, how he would just get lost in his thoughts sometimes.
“Sorry, Alpha,” he said and hurried over to Alpha and put his plate on his desk.
Alpha was sitting behind his huge desk, going over several half-drawn plans. So he was an architect or something like that. Not that that was any of his business of course.
Alpha’s eyes were sliding up and down his body in a way that Jared easily recognized. Shit.
Last night might not have been so bad, actually it had felt really good even though Jared didn’t want it too – another thing he would blame on the pregnancy, supposedly it made omegas really horny – but Alpha could just as easily do something that Jared wouldn’t like.
“You look good in your new clothes.”
Jared lowered his eyes, he didn’t know how to react to that. He was still confused every time Alpha complimented him.
Alpha chuckled. “God, you’re adorable. Come here.”
Jared saw Alpha’s outstretched hand enter his field of vision and he looked up carefully and took it. Alpha had swiveled around in his office chair and pulled Jared between his spread legs. His dick was already starting to strain against his pants and he tugged on Jared’s hand again.
“C'mon, get down on your knees for me, sweety.”
Jared knelt immediately. It could be worse. Serving with his mouth was by far not his favorite thing in the world, but at least it didn’t really hurt and it left no lasting damage.
Jared waited for Alpha to stand up and start fucking his mouth, but he just sat there.
“Is there something you’re waiting for, Jared?” Alpha asked and Jared looked up at him. Of course his new alpha would want to do things differently and of course he had no idea how to do that.
“I’m s-sorry Alpha,” Jared stuttered out. “I don’t know how you would like me to do this.”
Alpha sighed. “Of course you don’t. How about we start easy. Just do it like you were taught.”
Jared dared another look up at his alpha. “I wasn’t taught anything, my former alpha just used my mouth.”
“Yes, but before that,” Alpha said impatiently. “I know that they cover oral service in the required basic lessons. Just do what you learned there. Or did you already forget?”
Jared had to bite his tongue so he wouldn’t tell Alpha that he didn’t have a brain the size of a peanut, because that would probably be a bad idea. With the way Alpha was always insinuating exactly how stupid omegas were in general and Jared in particular, he was having an increasingly hard time keeping his mouth shut. He feared that he would just explode one day.
“I’m sorry Alpha. I never got those instructions,” was all he said though.
“But you told me you were home-schooled,” Alpha accused him.
“I was,” Jared hurried to assure him. Lying to an alpha or a beta was the worst. “I just never learned that.”
Alpha sighed. “Alright. Then I’ll have to teach you. Start by opening my pants.”
Jared brought his hands up to Alpha’s pants and tried to undo the button with shaking hands.
He couldn’t do this. In all the time with his former alpha and beta, he had never been forced to actively do something. The alpha had just used his body like a ragdoll, fucking his mouth or his ass. Sometimes the beta had forced him to pleasure her orally, but she hadn’t wanted technique, she had just wanted a warm mouth over her clit while she fucked herself with a knotdildo and that had only happened when the alpha had been away on business.
Contrary to popular belief omegas were not natural-born pleasure slaves. Like everything else it was a skill to be learned. One that Jared never had.
He swallowed nervously and lowered the zipper. Alpha was already half hard and his dick sprang free from his pants, wobbling sightly.
“Use your hands,” he said and his tone was very much business-like. “You won’t have to use them later, but for now it might be better. Just wrap a hand around the base.”
Jared did just that and he was surprised by the smooth and soft texture.
“Good. Now move your hand up and down.”
It wasn’t easy, there was no lube and Jared’s movements were choppy. He tried to find a smooth rhythm, but the angle was off.
“Now suck me,” Alpha ordered and Jared bent forward to obey. It put more pressure on his knees and despite the carpet Jared knew they would hurt soon. But that was good, pain was something familiar he could cling to now.
He took Alpha’s cock into his mouth, all the way down and for a moment he was grateful that his former alpha had beaten his gag-reflex out of him.
“Wow,” Alpha breathed out, “easy there, you don’t have to go all out right away.”
Shit. Jared tried to pull off, but he pulled back to early and somehow the head of Alpha’s dick caught below his teeth. Jared panicked tried to pull off faster, but Alpha was already cursing above him and shoved him off. Jared fell back on his ass and looked up at Alpha, fear rising up in him when he saw the older man cradling his soft dick in his hand, face distorted in a grimace of pain.
Jared bowed his head to the ground. “I’m so sorry Alpha, please forgive me, I’m so sorry.” Begging had never worked with his old Alpha, but it was worth a try.
A hard hand gripped his chin and pulled his head up. Jared looked into furious green eyes and he knew this was it. His new alpha would finally punish him.
The thought scared him, sure, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t expected it to happen. Jared could deal with it.
Jensen’s dick was still hurting, but when he looked into Jared’s big brown eyes, filled with fear and resignation, all his anger dissipated.
It wasn’t the omegas fault that he was never taught the important things. It wasn’t his fault that his former alpha was a stupid asshole. Jared was a victim.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Jensen tried to sooth Jared. He brought his hand to Jared’s face and the young omega did a good job of hiding his flinch, but Jensen was looking for it and he saw it.
“Shh, it’s ok sweety. I’m not mad. This was only your first try, you’re bound to make a few mistakes. We’ll just try again.”
Jared nodded at him with wide eyes and scrambled back between Jensen’s legs. He was very pleased with Jared’s enthusiasm and when Jared once again took him into his mouth, more slowly and carefully Jensen petted his hair approvingly.
“That’s it, nice and slow. There’s no rush.”
Jared’s hot mouth felt good around him and Jensen felt himself harden once again under the tentative suction. He decided to guide Jared for the time being and brought both hands to the omega’s jaw. He started to guide Jared’s movement, bobbing his head increasingly faster.
“Good, that’s good. Now a little bit more suction, sweety.”
Jared obeyed beautifully and Jensen couldn’t suppress a moan. “Good boy, you’re a natural.”
Jared seemed to take courage from the praise and sucked harder, his movements more certain. It still lacked finesse, but that was nothing that couldn’t be learned.
“Now use your tongue,” Jensen said, his breathing already labored.
Jared floundered a bit, clearly not sure how to do this, but Jensen gave him a few more seconds and then- “Holy shit, that’s it!”
It took Jared a couple of more bobs to figure out how he had done it, but then he started to massage the edge of Jensen’s cockhead on every slide up, digging his tongue into the beginning of the slit and Jensen couldn’t stop moaning. It just felt so damn good.
“Fuck sweety, right there. Good boy, such a good boy for your alpha, that’s it, make me come.”
Without the pressure on the base of his dick his knot wouldn’t inflate and his orgasm wouldn’t be as intense but right now Jensen just wanted to get off.
It didn’t take long, Jared’s mouth now so hot and tight around him and he felt his orgasm rush through his body and he shot into Jared’s mouth.
The omega swallowed it beautifully and fuck if that wasn’t hot.
“Clean me off,” Jensen managed to croak out and Jared did. Jensen bent forwards and stroked his omega’s cheek. “See that wasn’t so hard now, was it?”
Jared shook his head, but stayed kneeling on the ground. He was squirming a bit and a faint blush was coloring his cheeks. Jensen wondered what was up with that.
“Jared, are you okay?”
“Yes, Alpha,” the omega said, but his voice trembled slightly.
“Jared, don’t lie to me,” Jensen said using his stern voice. Lying was a habit that needed to be crushed from the beginning. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Jared hung his head and mumbled something so low, Jensen only heard the sorry.
“I’m sorry Alpha, but I – I got wet.”
Jensen drew in a deep breath and sure enough, Jared’s honey sweet omega scent was filling the air, laced with something darker now, like an exotic flower of the night. It made his spent dick twitch.
Jared looked up at him with wide eyes. “And what?” he repeated, voice shaking with fear.
Jensen sighed. “Jared, I don’t see the problem, of course you get wet when you pleasure your alpha.”
Jared looked at him as if he was speaking Chinese. “But I never did before.”
If Jensen had still needed proof of the magnitude of the abuse that Jared had been subjected to, this would have been it. Omegas were notoriously easy to please, they got especially aroused when they gave pleasure. If Jared had never gotten slick while serving his alpha....
Jensen balled his hands to fists to keep himself from smashing something and Jared winced. He would need to show his omega once and for all that his arousal was a good thing.
“Jared, take your clothes off and get on the couch, ass in the air.”
Jared immediately scrambled to get up and was naked and on the couch in record time. Jensen hadn’t planned on fucking him, but seeing Jared kneeling on the couch all ready and exposed, he felt his dick stirring in his pants. Well, the deadline for his newest project was still far off, he could indulge himself.
When he reached Jared, his body was coiled tight and no fresh slick was leaking from his hole. Jensen wanted to smack himself when he realized that Jared thought he would get punished.
“Don’t be afraid sweety, I’m not going to discipline you, you did nothing wrong, I just wanted to show you that your arousal is a good thing,” Jensen said and then licked a stripe over Jared’s hole.
The omega yelped, just like he had the first time, but he settled in for moaning quietly when Jensen continued to lick all that delicious slick from his ass and the back of his thighs. It was pure ambrosia.
Jensen couldn’t hold back for long and he pulled his dick out of his pants, already aching hard again and pushed into Jared’s tight opening.
“God, you feel so good, such a good boy for me.”
Jensen started to fuck Jared, short and hard thrusts and the omega made the sweetest little noises. He moaned the loudest when Jensen praised him, so he let out a steady stream of encouragements, telling Jared how well he was doing and how good he was feeling.
“Come on sweety, want you to come around my cock, want you to squeeze me tight!”
Jensen angled his thrusts to find Jared’s prostate and when he did, the omega keened and clenched around him, his orgasm making his walls clutch him so tight, his knot swelled to its full size and he came deep inside of Jared, pleasure spreading through his whole body.
After, he leaned back on the couch, Jared in his lap and played with his omega’s fucked-out and leaking hole, keeping him on edge until Jared’s moans turned into mindless pleas. He continued to whisper dirty praise in his ear until Jared came again, milking a second orgasm from Jensen’s still occasionally pulsing cock.
Jared was clearly exhausted but tried valiantly to stay awake. Jensen decided to reward him for it.
“You did so good, sweety, I’m proud of you,” he told Jared and started stroking over his hair. “You can nap now.”
Jared fell asleep almost instantly, a warm and comforting weight on Jensen’s chest and he thought that he hadn’t been this relaxed in a long time. He drew a blanket from the couch over them and decided to get a little shut-eye himself.
This was an excellent way to spend his afternoon.
The rest of the day Jensen worked a little bit more and then he had a delicious dinner. Jared really knew how to cook a mean steak and Jensen went to bed a happy man. He let Jared suck him off again and while it still wasn’t the best he’d ever had, it was better than the one in the afternoon and Jensen didn’t really expect a steep learning curve from his omega anyway.
He fell asleep with Jared’s enticing scent wrapped around him, his last thought being surprised at how much he liked a warm body sharing his bed, even if it was only that of an omega.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid piece of shit?”
Jared cowers down lower to the ground, not that that will help.
“I know that you’re stupid, you all are, but how can you be this stupid?” Beta’s voice is shrilling through the room and she is brandishing the object of offense in her hands.
The bouquet of flowers does look pathetic, but they had been delivered over three weeks ago. Even with the most diligent care, you can’t really extend the life of cut flowers past a couple of weeks. Jared thinks he has worked a small miracle with them, but of course it isn’t enough, it is never enough for them.
Alpha’s heavy footsteps sound on the stairs and Jared dreads his appearance. They always think of the most elaborate punishments when they are together.
“Lydia,” Alpha bellows. “What did the little shit do now?”
“He ruined the flowers send by the mayor!” Beta exclaims and Alpha shoots Jared a dark look.
“Alright, you little pest, you asked for it. On the bench!”
Jared starts crawling into the living room. He knows better than to walk in a situation like this.
“God, I hope he gets pregnant soon, so we can finally get rid of this vermin,” Beta says behind him and Alpha agrees. “Just five or six children and then we either sell him to another couple or to a plantation, depending on his condition.”
Beta hums. “You know, with his age, we might actually get the best price at one of the brothels.”
At that point Jared reaches the bench and he actually hurries to get into position now, just to make them stop talking about him like he is a piece of meat.
They are still standing behind him, so Jared can’t see which instruments they are getting out when the clattering starts. It is almost the worst part of the punishment.
“But Lydia, we used that one last week! I think this one.”
“No, that’s way too easy on him. I want this one, Dan!”
“Alright, the cane it is.”
The hit comes without warning and Jared can’t suppress a scream. He hears them laughing behind him, feels blow after blow hit the naked soles of his feet and even though one part of his brain is already whispering about the pain to come from walking on ripped up feet, the bigger part can process nothing but the burning pain. Jared screams and screams and -
“Jared, wake up! Come on, wake up, baby!”
Jared opened his eyes, confused by the sudden absence of pain until he realized it had just been a dream. Alpha, his new alpha, was leaning over him, looking at him with worried eyes and rubbing a thumb across his cheek.
Jared tried to talk, but his throat was raw, so he just nodded. Of course, he would have nightmares, they were nothing new but usually Jared had woken up alone in his cage at some point, the pain of his hoarse throat pulling him from his dreams.
Alpha let himself fall back on the bed and exhaled heavily. “You scared the shit out of me, I thought somebody was about to murder you.”
“I’m sorry Alpha, it was just a dream,” Jared managed to get out.
Now Alpha would send him back to his own room and even though Jared had been happy with his room at first, sleeping in Alpha’s bed was so much better than he had thought. He hadn’t realized how touch-deprived he was until Alpha had let him nap on his chest this afternoon.
It had been so nice, just to have someone touch him without pain and when Alpha had fucked him, he had liked it, feeling pleasure he’d never imagined to experience. Getting to share Alpha’s bed had made him ridiculously happy, even though he didn’t even like him. He wasn’t cruel or mean like his former keepers, but his self-righteousness was almost worst. Still, Jared couldn’t deny that his body craved his touch. That, he would also blame on the pregnancy.
He was ripped out of his thoughts, when Alpha pulled him against his chest and slowly ran his fingers over Jared’s back.
“It’s okay sweety, you’re safe with me, they can’t hurt you again. It’s over now.”
Something in Jared broke. It wasn’t over, never would be, he had just stumbled from the fire into the frying pan. He was still an omega, still a slave and as soon as the pregnancy would come to light-
For the second time that day, Jared couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
Instead of pushing him away, Alpha tightened his hold on him, rocking him gently against his chest. For the first time in almost a year, someone actually comforted him. Jared couldn’t help it, he just sank into Alpha’s touch. It was firm, but not too hard and Alpha was warm and smelled good and he murmured sweet nothings into his ear.
For the first time since his parents had died, Jared felt that someone else cared for him.
He knew this was stupid, knew that Alpha thought he was nothing more than an animal that happened to speak and could be bred, knew that even if Alpha cared for his well-being, he would still never treat Jared as a person with his own mind and his own choices. But right now he didn’t care. Right now he let the tears fall into Alpha’s shirt and pressed closer against his strong body. Right now he was safe.
The following week was a little bit like a dream.
Jared was surprised by how easy his new life was. Alpha never gave ridiculous orders, like polishing the car’s rims with a toothbrush or picking the stray hairs out of the rug with tweezers.
He was patient in his instructions when it came to sex – Jared didn’t only have to learn how to perfect a blowjob, a couple of days later Alpha had wanted Jared to ride his cock and it had taken him a while to get a smooth rhythm going – and he always gave Jared pleasure as well.
He even asked him to call him Jensen when they fucked. It was hard getting Alpha’s name over his lips at first, but it got easier every night.
As long as everything was clean and the food was good, he didn’t complain and he also didn’t punish Jared.
He didn’t even complain about the nightmares, he just held Jared afterwards and soothed him back to sleep.
He was – in a word – nice.
If it wasn’t for the continuous insults to omegas, thrown into the conversations so casually, Jared could really like him. But somehow this was worse.
On the one hand he was nice to Jared, cared for him and talked to him like he was a real person and on the other he still spouted all that government indoctrinated bullshit. Jared couldn’t really decide what to think.
Either way, he had a lot of extra time on his hands and he spent it watching videos about gardening and trying to apply it to the area behind Alpha’s house that would hopefully be a garden next summer. It wasn’t like he could do a lot now, it was already late fall, but Jared could learn, could make plans and get Alpha to approve them so he could start as soon as it warmed up.
He was surprised that he was actually looking forward to it.
Right now he filled his free time with cleaning the attic and reading some of his alpha’s books. In the beginning he’d been too scared, but he soon realized that Alpha never came out of his study while he was working.
On some deeper level Jared knew that he was letting his guard down and he didn’t know what it was that was making him do it – if it was that Alpha was so nice, that he finally enjoyed sex or that his body was actually unmarred by bruises right now – but he felt safe.
All this time he had to himself, filled with normal things like reading and cooking without the fear of the hot fat burning his naked skin, it made him feel like himself again. It was like he was getting back a part of his old life. A tiny part, sure, but it still was infinitely better than anything that had happened to him since his parents had died.
He knew that this bubble was a ticking time-bomb, sooner or later he would start showing and he had no idea how Alpha would react to him already being pregnant, but Jared chose to go with denial on this one.
The option of running away was finally off the table, the chip had taken care of that and he couldn’t do anything about it now anyways. He didn’t suffer from any real pregnancy side-effects apart from the horniness, so he figured he had a least one more good month ahead of him. And Jared would take what he could get.
He put his hand on his still flat belly. This pregnancy had been a blessing and a curse. It was what had given him the courage to run away, but Jared didn’t want a child to be born into this world.
He guessed it would be okay if it would turn out an alpha, it would even be alright to have a beta, but an omega.... Jared couldn’t imagine anything worse.
And even if the child would be an alpha or a beta, it wasn’t like it would be his child. In the traditional household alphas and betas were the parents, the so called omega-parent was nothing more than a nanny, really, with no claim to the child.
Alpha might not have a beta yet, but as soon as he would, Jared’s only interaction with his children would be to clean up after them and serve them. It wasn’t even thought of as incest, since omegas weren’t considered real parents and supposedly only the alpha’s genes were passed on, but most omegas escaped that fate simply by being too old when most of their children were old enough for sex.
Jared swallowed the bile threatening to rise in his throat.
There was no reason to want this child, only varying levels of pain could come from it, but still. He wasn’t sure why he was already so attached to a living being not bigger than his thumb, but it was his. His family.
He needed to find a way to protect it.
The bubble burst a couple of days later.
Jared was standing in the kitchen, preparing ravioli for dinner. It was only noon, but he was making them from scratch and it was a messy, time-consuming affair, the spinach-parmesan filling landing everywhere, but it wasn’t like Alpha came in the kitchen while he worked. Except now he did.
“Jesus fuck, it looks like a bomb went off in here!”
Jared couldn’t help but flinch. “Sorry, I promise to clean up, it’s just the filling and-”
“Jared, relax,” Alpha told him in that exasperated voice of his, the one that so clearly said, why do you have to be so slow in the head? “I’m not mad, just stating the obvious.”
And really, how was Jared supposed to know that? Alpha claimed he wouldn’t hurt him, but he still talked about disciplining him if something didn’t work out. Jared didn’t see how he could do one thing without doing the other.
“Is there something you need?” he just asked and Jared realized that his voice was dangerously close to being snappy, but his alpha didn’t seem to notice.
“Actually there is. I need you to run an errand for me.”
Cold sweat broke out on Jared’s back. He really didn’t want to go outside. It wasn’t a very safe thing to do for an omega.
“I have some documents that have to be sent by certified mail. The post office closes in half an hour for midday break, but if you leave now you can still make it.”
Jared gave a jerky nod. “Yes, Alpha.”
“Now, when you go up to the register, you’ll need to show them a letter of authorization from me. I’ll get an official card later, for now it’ll have to do.”
Jared nodded again. “I know, Alpha, I’ve been to the post office before.”
His former beta had ordered clothes online like she was addicted to it and Jared had ended up sending almost all of them back.
Alpha just gave a disregarding shake of his head. “But this will be complicated. You need to state exactly how this needs to be send.”
“By certified mail,” Jared interjected and Alpha gave him a hard look and continued. “And it’s very important that you get the receipt. That means that the person behind the counter has to give you a piece of paper stating they took the mail into custody.”
“Yes, I understand,” Jared answered and under his breath he added, “I’m not stupid.”
“What did you say?”
Jared looked up in panic. He’d forgotten that Alphas had sharper senses.
Jensen was looking at him, eyebrows knitted together in righteous indignation and something in Jared just snapped.
“I said I’m not stupid, you don’t have to explain things like I’m a five-year old,” he bit out and he saw Jensen’s face darken.
“Jared, don’t you take that tone with me!”
He had to bite his tongue not to say anything else but Jensen continued to look at him like that, like he was an insolent child, and the anger and the indignation continued to burn in him.
With his former keepers it had been easier, they had treated him like a stupid animal the whole time, but half the time Alpha actually treated him like a real person, why couldn’t he do that now?
“I’m sorry, Alpha,” he forced himself to say. “But I am smart enough to understand when you explain something for the first time.”
Alpha snorted. “Yeah, I will decide how much I need to explain something. Now, be a good little omega and hurry along.”
“Just because I’m an omega doesn’t mean I’m stupid,” Jared muttered and of course Alpha heard that as well.
Instead of being angry Alpha just smiled at him patronizingly. “I’m sure you’re very smart for an omega,” he said and patted Jared’s cheek.
And just like that, Jared exploded. A year of repressed anger and fear, frustration at his own powerlessness, it all came out.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he yelled and he could see the surprise and the anger on Alpha’s face, but he just couldn’t stop.
“How can you even say that with everything I do? I cook you the most sophisticated meals even you say are delicious, I keep your house in order and make plans for your garden, which you trust me to design and you still think I have the mental capacity of a five-year-old. And how many five-year-olds can even say that, mental capacity?”
“Jared,” Jensen warned, but Jared just continued, pacing up and down the living room.
“You know, you’re such a self-righteous asshole! You tell me everything will be better now, that you saved me, but I’m still your slave! You try to pretty it up and put a bow on it, but you don’t know the first thing about omegas!”
“Jared, that’s enough!” Alpha shouted. “I don’t know who put this nonsense in your head, but it stops right now! This is why you omegas need an alpha to guide you! You’re rash and impulsive, ruled by your instincts like animals. If it wasn’t for us, you’d run around society, contributing nothing and wreaking havoc the whole day! There is a reason you’re substandard humans and this is why!”
This was all so wrong and Jared didn’t even know why, but somehow he was disappointed in his alpha.
“How can you say that? If we’re all so bad, how come we can give birth to real humans, huh? The government feeds you this crap, so they can justify keeping us as breeding machines, but it’s all bullshit! We’re just as worthy as you!”
Alpha suddenly moved, faster than Jared could have anticipated and then he was right in Jared’s face, finger curling through the d-ring in his collar.
“You are an omega, Jared, and you will remember your place!” With that Alpha dragged him to the stairs and Jared had to struggle to keep up.
Slowly he realized what he had done and a cold fist of fear took his body in an icy grip. Jared couldn’t believe he was this stupid, that he’d let his emotions get the better of him. Even in the beginning with his adoptive alpha and beta, when every new humiliation had been a surprise, he had never lost it like that.
Jensen dragged him up to the attic and when Jared saw the discipline bench in the corner his stomach dropped. After all this time he had been cuddled and petted, the punishment would be a thousand times worse.
Jensen dropped down on Chris’s couch and gratefully accepted the beer. “Thanks, man.”
“Sure,” Chris nodded. “So, how’s it going with the omega?”
Jensen snorted. “If you’d have asked me this morning I would have said great, all things considered, but today we had a – well setback isn’t really the right word, more like an outburst.”
Chris raised his eyebrows. “That sounds ominous. What happened?”
“He got mouthy,” Jensen replied. “I think I know where he got the courage to run away from, some kind of bullshit about omegas being just as worthy as alphas and some crap about him being smarter than I give him credit for.”
“Yeah. I think he wasn’t properly educated and that might have given him ideas. I don’t even know, man.” Jensen took a deep gulp from his bottle.
“What did you do?” Chris asked.
“Well, I thought about giving him a good beating, but considering what his old alpha did to him that’s probably not gonna work. So I just tied him to the bench and he can stay there for a few hours and ponder his place in society and in my house.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” Chris agreed and Jensen was glad for the reassurance. For some reason he couldn’t quite pinpoint, it had made him uneasy, leaving Jared like that. And it really shouldn’t.
A discipline bench was the normal place for an omega to be after an infraction and there were several government recommended ways to deal with them. Jensen didn’t own a disciplinary set because he’d never had an omega before, but there were several household items that were good substitutes for a paddle and the belt was still a classic. But the thought of doing that to Jared – it didn’t sit well with him. Probably because he was abused, Jensen told himself.
“When did you put him in there?” Chris question dragged him out of his rather uncomfortable thoughts.
“I think around noon, why? You think it’s too long?” Because it was already eight pm and maybe that had been enough now.
“What? Nah. As long as you put a bucket under him, you’re golden.”
“A bucket?” Now Jensen was confused. “Why does he need a bucket?”
“Dude, it’s been eight hours and he’s an omega. He probably pissed all over the place.”
“Aw, shit.” In his anger he hadn’t even thought of that. He’d just been so mad when Jared, his perfect, sweet little omega had yelled at him, repeating all that bullshit that he had picked up somewhere without properly understanding it.
“Maybe he’ll hold it,” he mumbled, because even if Jared would obviously clean up his own mess, Jensen still didn’t want to come home to it.
Chris shook his head. “It’s been way too long, man. And he’s an omega. They’re like animals, they don’t hold back if it gets too hard.”
Jensen sighed and emptied his beer. “I better get home then.”
Jared tried to remember when he’d gone to the bathroom last, definitely after breakfast and that had been around nine maybe? He wasn’t sure, but it didn’t really mattered. All that mattered was that he really needed to pee and he had no idea when Alpha would be back.
After Alpha had strapped him fully clothed to the bench, told him to think about what he’d said and where his true place in society was, he had just left. Jared had waited several minutes for him to come back and start whatever special form of punishment he had come up with, but nothing. Alpha had apparently decided that this was enough.
First, Jared had been relieved. He’d been tied up before for hours, it was nothing he couldn’t handle.
He even spent the first half hour thinking about what he’d done – how he could have been so incredible stupid to yell at Alpha like that.
Sure, Alpha was nice and even kind to him, but he was still an alpha. A ruling member of society, at the top of the food-chain, government doctrines about his own superiority pounded into his head since birth. If he would ever be able to convince him that omegas were more than just breeding stock, yelling at him definitely wasn’t the way to go.
And with dawning horror Jared realized that he wanted that. He wanted to show Jensen that he was so much more than he thought, wanted to show him what the world was really like, so they could have real conversations, could share a meal together, sit out in the garden together, raise their children – Jared shook his head.
He was not his mother and Jensen was definitely not his father. It would never work. If anything, Alpha’s declaration from earlier pointed to the opposite. He would never see Jared as anything else than his slave, without even realizing that that was what he was seeing him as.
Jared pushed the hurt away. He finally needed to stop hoping. There was none left for someone like him and his hormones making him all gooey on the inside were not an excuse.
After a while, it started getting uncomfortable on the bench.
Jared tried to flex his muscles, shift around as much as he could, but that didn’t change the fact that the edges of the bench were cutting painfully into his pelvis and his ribs. The hard floor started to hurt his knees and alternating between putting pressure on them and lying down on the bench was equally painful. The buttons of his clothes dug into his skin and his arms were stretched forward so much, he couldn’t use them to push himself up. No matter how he positioned himself, it hurt.
Not to mention that he really needed to relieve himself. But his bladder was well-trained, after the first few incidents at his former alpha’s house, where he’d been only allowed to use the toilet during bathroom times, he had learned to control himself quite well. A few hours on the bench was nothing he couldn’t handle.
Then his left leg twitched. Since Jared had nothing else to do besides trying to get lost in memories from happier times, he noticed immediately.
It was small, nothing more than a soft flutter, but it came back.
Jared scooted forward on the bench to stretch his leg as much as he could. The twitching stopped. Relieved he relaxed again.
The next time it wasn’t a soft twitch anymore, it was an outright contraction. Jared leaned forwards again, straightened his leg and the muscle in his lower leg twitched again, but softer.
He stayed in that position, the bench’s edge digging painfully into his hipbones, but he didn’t dare bend his leg.
It didn’t matter though, the twitching didn’t stop. Panic welled up in Jared, this could become so very painful and there was nothing he could do about it. He was helpless to wait for his body to betray him.
He carefully tried to tense his muscles and relax them, but the twitches became fully blown cramps and their duration lengthened. The cuffs bit into his ankles when he stretched even more, but it helped a bit.
Hours passed and his awareness narrowed down to his full bladder and his left calf.
He could feel the pressure in his lower abdomen, but he refused to give in. He would not piss himself like some animal.
The twitches in his calf were more worrisome, getting more frequent and it took longer until they went away. Just when he thought he couldn’t hold it anymore, his bladder was about to burst, pain flared through his lower leg.
Jared tried to stretch his leg again, but this time it didn’t subside. This time the muscles didn’t relax. This time the pain continued.
The muscles cramped up even more, pulling together and sending a constant burn up his leg. Everything else faded, the only thing registering was the pain. His leg became a burning brick of agony.
Jared’s mouth opened in a silent scream and tears were running down his face, but the cramp didn’t let up. There was nothing he could do to stop it and it just went on and on and on.
He didn’t know if time passed or if it stopped. He thought he might have lost conscious at some point because when he was able to think clearly again there was only a faint throbbing in his leg. Jared held it completely still, not wanting to trigger another cramp, but the movement made him aware of his other problem. His bladder was still full and now it hurt.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had held out for so long, he wouldn’t give up now.
When Jensen came home, he didn’t find what he had expected.
Sure, Jared was still tied up on the bench, but the attic still smelled like the attic, old and moldy, with a hint of omega sweat permeating the air and nothing else.
He slowly walked over to the bench and took in Jared’s lumped form, arms stretched forwards, legs half bent and his head hanging down. His hair had fallen in his face and his whole posture screamed exhaustion.
Jensen swallowed hard. Maybe he shouldn’t have left Jared on the bench for this long.
The omega didn’t move. Jensen walked around to his head and knelt down.
“Jared! You’re not supposed to sleep on the bench!” Jensen hadn’t even thought it was possible, the bench was supposed to be too uncomfortable for that and omegas didn’t need that much sleep.
Jared slowly raised his head and stared at Jensen out of hollow eyes. There were deep circle under them and while he was paler than usual, his cheeks were flushed.
“Jared, are you okay?” Being on the bench wasn’t that bad, was it?
Jared opened his mouth, but no sound came out, he just started to cough dryly. Jensen hurried to release him from the straps. He pulled the omega up, who let out a pained hiss when he was standing.
Worry was spreading through Jensen, he hadn’t wanted to hurt Jared. “Hey, where does it hurt? C'mon, tell me sweety.”
“Leg. Cramp,” Jared bit out.
Shit. Jensen remembered the cramps he’d gotten in his teenage years, sometimes he’d even woken up during the night, they had been so bad. Having a cramp and not being able to stretch one’s leg...
“Alright, lean on me, sweety. I’m gonna get you downstairs, okay?”
Jared leaned on him and they slowly hobbled down the stairs. When they reached the landing, Jared pulled away from him.
“Bathroom,” Jared spit out and made a dash for Jensen’s bathroom. He was still limping and he was bent over, but he moved surprisingly fast, before he slammed the bathroom door shut behind him. It took a while before Jensen could hear him relieve himself and Jensen felt even worse.
Jared had obviously been in pain, but he had still held it in.
He waited until Jared was done and then joined him in the bathroom. It wasn’t appropriate for an omega to use their alpha’s bathroom without explicit permission, but Jensen would ignore that.
Jared was standing at the sink, leaning heavily on it and his arms were shaking. His face was wet and he looked guiltily at Jensen.
“Did you think about what you did today?” Jensen asked, because no matter what had happened, he couldn’t just gloss over that.
Jared gave a curt nod. “I did and I’m sorry. I was out of line.” It sounded wooden and stilted, but then Jared looked down and fiddled with his hands. “You’re so good to me and I was ungrateful and I’m really sorry for yelling at you.” Now that sounded more honest.
Jensen nodded and smiled at Jared. “I’m proud of you for holding it in and not making a mess on the bench.”
Jared gave a perfectly soft and demure nod. “Thank you, Alpha.”
“Why did you though? It must have been painful.”
The omega was still looking at his feet when he mumbled something too quiet to hear.
Jensen sighed. “Look at me, Jared. I can’t understand you when you talk to your toes like that.”
“I’m not an animal. I don’t just pee all over the place,” Jared said, but his voice was void of emotions and there was no heat behind the words.
He didn’t want to be contradictory, he just told Jensen what he was thinking. When Jensen realized that Jared was right, it was sort of like having an epiphany. He wasn’t an animal. Despite everything Jensen had expected, Jared had held out.
All things considered, Jared hadn’t displayed any of the bad, animalistic omega habits. He wasn’t lazy or slow, he was smarter than Jensen had thought it was possible and he could actually think up solutions to problems on his own.
Just the other day Jensen had taken a peek at a drawing Jared had done for the garden and even though it had been only a preliminary sketch, it showed ingenuity and a great eye for spacial concepts. At first he had thought it was a design suggested in one of the videos, but after a quick glance on the contents he noticed Jared had used elements that weren’t even covered.
Yes, Jared was clearly smarter than most omegas and it explained his little outburst yesterday.
So Jared had a bit of a temper, so what? His apology had obviously been sincere and Jensen was still incredibly lucky that his find had turned out so smart and able.
He softly stroked over Jared’s cheekbone. “I think you might be a very special omega.”
Jared looked at him, surprised and confused and Jensen couldn’t help but chuckle. “God, you’re adorable when you look at me like that. Now, how’s your leg? Does it still hurt?”
The omega nodded and Jensen decided to give him a treat. After all, he had been a good boy during his punishment and Jensen might have been a little harsh in his judgment. He would still need to make it clear to Jared that despite being smart, he was still an omega, but not tonight. Tonight, he wanted to coddle his omega.
“Alright, then go ahead and draw a warm bath. There’s some kind of bubble bath that’s supposed to be relaxing, you can add that to the water.”
Instead of thanking him for his generosity, Jared just nodded with empty eyes and went to draw the bath. For a second Jensen was angry at the ingratitude, before he realized that Jared hadn’t understood the bath was for him.
He shook his head in annoyance that Jared didn’t even know that he could get a reward if he did something good. Maybe he should really hunt down that old alpha of his, teach that bastard a lesson.
Jensen went down to the kitchen to get himself a beer – he really needed one – and decided to get a soda for Jared. Sugar wasn’t good for omegas, it impaired their health in a way that could be bad for a baby, but Jared showed no signs of going into heat soon and Jensen felt that he deserved it.
When he came back upstairs, he put the bottles on the broad edge of the bathtub where it connected to the wall, took off his clothes and slid into water.
It wasn’t enough yet, but it had the perfect temperature and the bubble bath smelled nice. Jared was still clothed and standing in the corner, trying to be still, but Jensen could see how his fingers twisted nervously.
“Jared. Get in here.”
The omega looked up at him with wide eyes and Jensen was torn between amusement and annoyance. “Get in the tub. It’s going to be good for your leg.”
Jared hesitated for a moment longer, then he shed his clothes in stiff movements, his whole body obviously tense after a day on the bench and there was a feeling tugging at Jensen, something uncomfortable that he couldn’t quiet name, but he didn’t really want to either. He had a hunch he might not like it. It felt too much like guilt.
Jared slowly walked over and Jensen noted appreciatively how much weight his omega had gained. He was still a little too skinny, but the outlines of his ribs had lost their unhealthy protrusion and his knees and elbows weren’t as knobbly.
Jensen helped him in the tub and there was a short shuffle when Jared didn’t know how to position himself and had trouble coordinating his long limbs in the water.
“Alright, c'mere, sweety.” He drew Jared onto his lap, back to chest and spread his legs.
Before he had gotten home he had planned to make Jared clean up his mess and send him to bed alone, without getting knotted. Now though, he wanted to knot Jared. Not only because he was aroused by his omega’s naked body, but also because he wanted to treat Jared, reward him for his good behavior and a good knotting was always something that made an omega happy.
His omega stayed still when Jensen trailed his hand down his body, over his flaccid dick and his balls to his opening. Even in the water Jensen could feel that there was no slick and he gently massaged Jared’s opening.
“Don’t pout, sweety. I told you, you did good. Now open up for me.”
For a second Jared tensed, then he exhaled heavily.
“That’s it, baby.” Jensen slipped a finger inside and Jared let his head fall back completely. It exposed the long column of his throat right next to Jensen’s mouth and suddenly he couldn’t help but lean forward and nibble on it.
Jared tasted like sweat and sweet omega and when Jensen’s lips touched him, his body arched up so beautifully Jensen’s heart clenched.
Jared’s mouth fell open, a surprised moan tumbled from his parted lips and it occurred to Jensen that he had probably never been kissed. It made him angry, that this soft beauty should have gone uncherished and he vowed to change that right now.
“You like that, sweety?”
Jared gave a choppy nod and Jensen continued to kiss and lick his throat, while his fingers prepped Jared’s hole for his knot.
It didn’t take long, Jared was getting wet faster than ever before and finally Jensen could slide his aching dick right into that tight, slick heat.
His head fell back at the sensation of that hot wetness gripping him firmly and he only gave a couple of thrusts before he gave into the pleasure and started grinding his hips.
It didn’t take long for his knot to inflate, Jared lying so pliantly on his body, those breathless, little moans falling from his lips while Jensen stroked his dick. He needed to feel Jared come around him, needed to feel him clench and shudder on his dick.
He went back to sucking on Jared’s neck, probably leaving marks and when he pushed his hips upward again and stroked his omega’s dick faster, Jared came hard. His whole body tensed, his hands gripping the tub tight and Jensen could do nothing else but follow right behind, his cock pulsing deep inside his omega.
They lay in the water until it went cold, Jensen drinking his beer and Jared nipping on the soda, cradling the bottle in his hands like it was the most precious treasure in the world.
When Jensen’s knot deflated they got out of the tub and Jensen toweled his omega dry, ignoring how his surprised look cut deep into his heart. Had no one ever shown him any kindness?
He took Jared to bed with him and drew the omega in his arms, enjoying the soft smell he was giving off combined with the scent of the bubble bath.
There was something nagging at the back of his head, some kind of observation about their post-knotting routine, but Jensen couldn’t put an finger on it, so he just buried his nose in Jared’s hair and went to sleep.
The day was like any other.
When Jensen woke up he had Jared take care of his morning erection before taking a long shower. Then he had breakfast – Jared had really mastered the blueberry pancakes – and continued to work.
He was feeling weird the whole day, something bugging him the whole time, but every time he wanted to examined it closer, it was like it just evaporated.
It wasn’t until late in the evening, when he had Jared ride him on the couch and the omega slumped down exhausted after his orgasm. Jensen was still coming deep inside him, lazily working his fingers through Jared’s hair and suddenly it hit him.
Jared was distant.
His sweet omega, so trustworthy after a few days, snuggling into his chest after a nightmare and turning his head into his hands whenever he stroked his hair – he wasn’t doing that anymore. Hadn’t for a while now.
He avoided his eyes any chance he got and even during their knotting he didn’t fully relax, didn’t lean into him. He always seemed to be somewhere else with his thoughts, like he couldn’t stand Jensen’s presence.
Jared didn’t trust him anymore.
It hurt. Jensen didn’t know why, but it really fucking hurt. He had worked so hard to earn Jared’s trust, see that rare smile light up his face and now it was all gone and he was almost as skittish as he had been in the beginning.
One didn’t need to be a genius to figure out why Jared had changed. Last week Jensen had punished him and now the omega probably thought he was as bad as his last alpha.
Jensen wanted to grip him by the shoulders, shake him and tell him that he would never be so cruel to him.
The picture of Jared hobbling to the bathroom, face twisted in pain, appeared in his mind and Jensen buried his head in Jared’s neck. His omega didn’t react, didn’t give any indication of being affected by their closeness and Jensen couldn’t stand it anymore.
He pulled back. “Get off.”
Jared didn’t look at him when he pulled free, showed nothing on his face even though Jensen’s knot was still so big it must be uncomfortable.
“Go downstairs and clean up. I won’t need you tonight anymore.”
“Yes, Alpha,” Jared replied, no emotion on his face.
Jensen waited until his omega had left to wipe himself off and get dressed again. It was late, but he was too agitated to go to bed.
He poured himself a glass of whiskey and started to pace the living room.
So Jared had lost his trust in him. Well, he guessed it was comprehensible, considering his past. And in retrospective, the punishment had been long. But Jared had acted out badly. Maybe he should just have given him a whipping.
The thought of hitting Jared with a belt made Jensen want to throw up. He just couldn’t imagine doing it.
Hearing about punishing an omega and doing it himself, seeing what it did to him, that was apparently a completely different pair of shoes.
Jensen tried to remember his own omega-parent. He had stayed with them until Jensen was thirteen and Jensen couldn’t remember ever seeing him get punished. Either his parents had done it out of sight or their omega had been very well behaved.
He shook his head. It didn’t matter. He didn’t want to hurt Jared. He knew an omega needed discipline, but hurting Jared – he just couldn’t imagine doing it. The sight of Jared after he’d freed him from the bench had been bad enough. He hadn’t thought it would affect him, but he still couldn’t ban the memories of Jared’s pained face.
Suddenly Jensen was furious. He was angry at Jared’s former keepers, angry at Jared, at himself – how had his life become such an emotional mess, just because he had taken in an omega?
“Dammit!” Jensen shouted again. He needed an outlet for all the anger, pent up inside of him since he had seen the scars on his omega’s back.
“Dammit, dammit, fuck!”
He hit the back of the couch, his fist sinking into the soft material and it made him even more furious. He swirled around angrily, a sharp pain shot through his hand and then there was a loud crash.
Jensen looked to the small, high table standing next to the couch and the orchid that used to stand on top if it, now lying on the floor, the flowerpot still whole but the earth spilled all over the carpet.
Shit. He couldn’t deal with this right now.
He would just go to bed and tomorrow he would sit Jared down for a long talk and explain why he didn’t need to fear him. It was a long shot to talk to an omega rationally about emotions, but he had to try.
Jared still hadn’t come upstairs and Jensen called for him again, louder and more impatient.
Moments later there were fast steps on the stairs and the young omega skidded into the kitchen, wearing only a pair of sleep pants and wet hair dripping on his shoulders.
For a moment Jensen forgot what he wanted to say, because Jared was just so goddamn beautiful like that, half naked and hair wild, a rosy blush covering his face and his upper body.
His omega was looking at him with wide eyes, but when Jensen didn’t say anything his eyes scanned the room, landed on the orchid on the floor and resignation spread over his face.
“I’ll clean that up right away, Alpha.”
Jensen nodded mutely, but when Jared walked past him, he couldn’t help himself but touch him. Jared’s skin was cool and still so incredibly smooth and Jensen drew his lean body tight against his own.
“It should be forbidden to look that tempting,” he murmured, unable to stop himself. He started nosing at Jared’s neck, his omega shuddering in his arms. When his skin came in contact with Jared’s hair, he drew back. It was icecold.
“Did you take a cold shower?”
Jared looked at him, forehead scrunched up in incomprehension. “What do you mean?”
Jensen sighed. Just when he thought Jared was smarter than average he went and asked a stupid question.
“Your skin is cool and your hair is icecold. Why would you take such a cold shower?” he asked more slowly.
Jared still looked completely puzzled. “What else am I supposed to do? There’s only one temperature.”
“What? Don’t be silly,” Jensen said. Did he have to explain everything to Jared? “There are two switches for the water control, a blue one for cold and a red one for hot. You use both of them and get warm water.”
“I know,” Jared said and for a moment Jensen thought he heard a rebellious undertone, but Jared’s face was neutral. “But the warm water control doesn’t work.”
Jensen let out an exasperated breath. “Follow me.”
He went down to his omega’s bathroom, fully intent on showing him how it worked. He ignored this creeping feeling – guilt a small voice whispered – that threatened to overcome him at the sight of the small, windowless room Jared was supposed to live in.
In the bathroom he turned on the control for hot water, but it came out cold. He waited over a minute for it to warm up, but it never did.
Annoyed he turned to Jared. “Why didn’t you say it’s broken?”
This time his omega definitely gave him a defiant look. “Because it’s not broken,” Jared said. “Omegas never get hot water.”
Now Jared looked at him like Jensen was stupid. “Omegas don’t get warm water because apparently it’s a waste of energy. I was just happy to have an actual shower, so it didn’t really occur to me to say something.”
Jensen tried to process the information of omegas not being worthy of warm water when he caught onto the last thing Jared had said.
“If you didn’t have a shower before, how did you get clean?”
“Alpha cleaned me off with a garden hose.”
Jensen felt his mouth drop open and snapped it shut again. He balled his fists so Jared wouldn’t get scared by his anger.
“That – unbelievable! For the time being you’ll use my shower until I get this fixed. I won’t have you taking cold showers in the middle of winter!”
Now Jared looked at him with an open mouth.
Jensen took the discarded towel from the sink and stepped over to Jared. He slowly started to rub the omega’s hair with it. “I told you I’d be good to you. You just have to start believing me. I never want to see you suffer, okay?”
Jared looked at him through his lashes, in that way that made it unable for Jensen to read his emotions.
“C'mon,” he said and dragged Jared upstairs with him, all the way to his bedroom.
He wasted no time getting the sleep pants off his omega’s slim hips and then Jensen shed his own clothes, joining Jared on the bed.
For the first time he was kneeling over Jared, face to face and when he saw his wide plush lips slightly parted, he didn’t know why he hadn’t done that before. Sure, it wasn’t 'proper', but he didn’t care. He knew that some people did it and right in that moment he wanted nothing more.
He leaned down to claim his omega’s mouth, to taste those soft looking lips.
Jared made a small surprised noise and Jensen stroked soothingly over his jaw, before he forced his lips apart with his tongue, pushing inside of his omega’s mouth, tasting him, claiming him.
He felt the need to possess Jared, inside and out, and never let him go.
He aligned their bodies and Jared was already wet, so Jensen pushed inside without preamble, his mouth never leaving Jared’s.
He nibbled on his plush bottom lip, swept his tongue against the seam when he closed his mouth, licked into it when he opened it. He tangled their tongues together, committing Jared’s sweet taste to his memory.
He let his hands trail over his body, rubbing his arms and circling his nipples, coaxing all those sweet noises from his beautiful mouth.
The soft gasps, the bitten off moans, the sharp intakes of breath, Jensen soaked them all up, let them wash away the guilt and the shame.
When Jared’s hands touched his back, it was acquittance. When his fingers dug in deep, it was absolution. When he arched his back, hips pushing up into Jensen, it was forgiveness.
Long legs came up around Jensen’s waist, drawing him tight and he had never been so close to another person.
He buried his head in the crook of Jared’s neck, the spot that had somehow become his favorite place in the world and he kissed it and worried the skin above and below Jared’s collar, wanting to leave a mark of his own.
His orgasm was fast approaching when he finally heard it. Jared was mumbling his name, over and over again.
The pleasure shot through him, taking clear thought with it and leaving only pure ecstasy behind. He fell down on his omega’s chest, the only sounds he could hear their ragged breathing and Jared’s heartbeat.
After a while he held Jared tight and then rolled them around and Jared shifted around until he was comfortable, Jensen’s knot still connecting them.
He snuffled adorably, before burrowing into Jensen’s chest and the alpha couldn’t help but smile. Jared had reverted back to his puppyish cuddling ways.
He slowly rubbed Jared’s back and his omega started humming contentedly, noises getting quieter with every minute.
After, when Jared was sleeping in his arms, face so relaxed and young it looked almost angelic and that soft warm smell wafting off of him, Jensen could finally understand why some alphas and betas coddled and pampered their omegas. They were truly precious creatures.
Like always, Alpha was still asleep when Jared woke.
Jared vaguely remembered falling asleep lying on his alpha’s chest, hearing his heart beat steadily while his fingers softly played with his hair.
Now Jared was lying half on his side, half on his stomach and Alpha was lying pressed up against his back, his breath puffing against his neck and his dick already hard pressing against his ass.
It felt good. Comfortable. Safe even.
His alpha’s arm was draped around his waist and his body was supplying Jared with warmth. Jared felt like he was wrapped in a cocoon of love and safety.
So after a week of fighting it, trying to stay distant and reminding himself every fucking day that Jensen was the enemy, Jared gave up. He was too exhausted to fight it any longer. He didn’t want to be lonely anymore.
Jared let out a deep breath and snuggled closer to his alpha. He responded immediately, making an small snuffling noise and tightening his arm around Jared.
Jared pushed back the tiny voice yelling at him that he was stupid, that this would never end well. He knew this was an enormously dumb thing to do, as soon as Jensen found out he was pregnant, this would all be over, but Jared wanted to enjoy the affection as long as it lasted.
He deserved to be cuddled and kissed and touched. He deserved someone telling him that he was beautiful and adorable and an excellent cook.
Rationally he knew he deserved so much more than that, but Jared had to be realistic here. The moment the chip had entered his skin, all dreams of escaping this hell of a life had been over. This was the best he could hope for.
So Jared put a hand on Alpha’s and intertwined their fingers. It felt unfamiliar, he hadn’t ever held hands with anyone like that. Just as unfamiliar as being kissed had been last night.
Jared found he liked both.
Alpha shifted around a bit, pushing one leg between Jared’s and his head turned slightly, making his breath gush across Jared’s shoulder every time he exhaled.
It felt nice. Like this, it felt real. Like a real relationship. Just two people, equals, indulging in some cuddling before they started their day.
If Jared wouldn’t be afraid to wake his alpha he would hit himself in the head. Last night had seriously screwed with his head. Just because Alpha had kissed him, he was dreaming of a relationship.
Of course, everything considered, it was surprising that Alpha had kissed him at all. Since most people regarded omegas as animals, kissing them was frowned upon. He knew that some people did it, at least that’s what Mike had told him, but Jared had never thought his new alpha would be one of them. It had been a big – and very pleasant – surprise.
Like always, Jared had melted under his alpha’s demanding but gentle hands, but when he had kissed him, it had been instant paradise.
Their amazing sex had become even more incredible, Jared had thought he would burst with all the pleasure. He had been unable to hold back, even if he wanted to, but after Alpha had declared earlier Jared should have warm water to shower, that had been a moot point anyway. Jared had never been so grateful in his life. He would have warm showers!
So yeah, maybe he was being stupid. He just didn’t have the energy to fight this anymore.
So screw being careful. Screw being distant and not indulging in the little pleasures. As long as his alpha kept him despite the pregnancy, he would spend the next twenty to thirty years with this man. He had to make the best of it and thankfully, Jensen was making it relatively easy for him.
The first thing on Jensen’s agenda was to call someone to fix the shower downstairs.
He still couldn’t believe that omegas weren’t supposed to have warm water. Sure, then they might be more prone to indulge into taking longer showers, but really, it was just cruel.
He was in luck, the second company he called was able to send someone over later in the day.
The plumber showed up around two o’clock with an apprentice and an omega in tow. When Jensen explained the problem to him, the older alpha gave a grim nod.
“Yeah, it’s an outrage. Those poor omegas!” The alpha shook his head. “I’ll see what I can do. If the pipe with the warm water is just disconnected from the valve it’s no problem, but if they didn’t even lay a warm water pipe down there, it’s gonna be a lot more work and it’s gonna cost you. Would that be a problem?”
The plumber fixed Jensen with a hard stare, his dark eyes glinting under thick, intimidating eyebrows.
“Uhm, no,” Jensen replied, not sure what was going on here. “I just want Jared to have warm water. The price doesn’t matter.”
At that the other alpha gave him a wide smile and clapped him hard on the shoulder. “Good to see that not everybody has completely lost their marbles!”
But the plumber had already turned around to order his apprentice and his omega downstairs. Jensen was left standing confused in the living-room.
After ten minutes the apprentice came upstairs to tell him that there was a warm water pipe and they would be done in an hour.
Jensen just nodded, grateful that he wouldn’t need to accommodate tradespeople in his house for the next few days.
The encounter with the other alpha left him slightly unsettled. He had clearly been pleased with Jensen’s reaction, he just wasn’t sure if that meant that all other alphas out there were especially cruel to their omegas or if he was going soft.
When he showed Jared the warm water and his omega gave him his biggest smile yet, Jensen was pretty sure it was the latter. But what else was he supposed to do, when Jared smiled at him like that, with dimples showing on his cheeks and pure happiness shining from his eyes?
Jensen had known that his omega was beautiful, but when he smiled it was a completely different game. It was like looking straight into the sun. He couldn’t help himself but draw the omega in close and press a kiss on that dimpled cheek.
“Thank you, Alpha,” Jared said softly and for the first time in a week it sounded really genuine.
Jared drew back and looked at him with big eyes. “Is there something I can do? For you, I mean? Like a thank you. Like, like cook something special or bake you a cake or something like that?”
Jensen laughed, his omega was just too cute. “Well, it’s been a while since I had my omega-parent’s special bacon roulade, but I have no idea how to cook that and I doubt there'll be cooking videos about that, it’s too specific. Just cook whatever, although I wouldn’t say no to some apple pie for dessert.”
Jared nodded earnestly and hurried upstairs. Halfway up the stairs he turned to look around, eyes wide with a hint of fear. “Am I excused, Alpha?”
“Sure,” Jensen chuckled.
Sometimes living with Jared was like living with an overgrown puppy. He’d never thought he’d like that, but apparently he did. Especially when Jared tried so hard to please him.
Apple pie for dinner. Jensen was a lucky guy.
The fridge was full. Like bursting-from-the-seams, you-open-the-door-and-everything-falls-in-your-face full. It shouldn’t be so hard to get a meal together.
The apple pie wasn’t a problem, Jared could make that one in his sleep and while he prepared the dough and mixed the filling together he pondered what to cook for dinner.
He really wanted to do something special for his alpha and this was the only way he could think of to express his gratitude.
Jared snorted. It was pathetic really, that he was thanking someone for giving him access to warm water. But this was the harshness of his reality; he was an omega and only very few people would ever see him as anything more than an animal. Which wasn’t even really true, considering most alphas and betas treated their pets better than their omegas. Omegas had more the standing of a cow.
So he would thank his alpha for treating him better than societal norms dictated, without forgetting the injustice that was still being done to him.
It was right there, in Alpha’s kitchen, when Jared was looking through all his cookbooks for inspiration, that he swore to himself he would never forget. He would never get complacent in this life, would never forget what his parents had taught him.
They had used all their energy to save up money for the move to Europe, so that Jared and his mother could finally have a better life. His parents had raised him as a full-value member of society and Jared would never let them down by forgetting that.
He also had to adapt to his new circumstances, though.
The last cookbook on the shelf was an old leather-bound volume. When Jared opened it he saw that all the recipes in it where hand-written. The pages were yellowed and thin and Jared had problems to read the slightly different font, but he managed to decipher it.
The book didn’t seem to have any order and it didn’t have a table of content Jared could find, but there was a dedication on the bottom of the first page.
“To my dear child. May cooking this make them happy, so that they may treat you well.”
Jared flipped through the pages. The recipes were all pretty ingenious, extravagant and unlike anything he had ever seen before. And there, on page forty-eight, it was: The bacon-pickle roulade.
He made a little happy dance before he went through the fridge and all the cupboards to make sure he had everything he needed. He did.
The dish was more of a challenge that he had thought. Preparing the filling of onions, pickles, bacon and carrots and the special mustard sauce for the roulade went okay, but it took him a while to make the strange eggnoodles. He couldn’t even figure out how to pronounce their name and since there was no description on how to form them, he rolled them into thick spaghetti. That, of course, took forever.
Alpha poked his head in twice to ask when dinner would be ready and Jared told him that it would take longer, because he was cooking something special, but tried to console him with the promise of pie while making the most pleading and contrite expression he managed. Surprisingly, it worked.
It was after eight when the food was finally ready. The roulades were done and simmering in their sauce, the vegetables were cooked and even the eggnoodles at least tasted good, even if they looked like slightly overgrown, beige earthworms.
Alpha didn’t show any kind of recognition when Jared put the roulades on the table. He watched nervously as his alpha put one on his plate, while Jared served him the weird eggnoodles and the vegetables.
Alpha eyed them critically. God, Jared had missed his mark by a mile. Damn.
“Sit,” Alpha ordered and waved at the empty chair next to him. He had wanted Jared to eat with him more and more, especially for dinner. Jared didn’t quite know what to think about that.
“Oh my god!”
Jared looked at his alpha with alarm. The man had a completely astonished expression on his face. He was still chewing his first bite, but he was staring at his plate like it contained a miracle.
“This is my omega-parent’s bacon beef roulade!” Alpha still looked completely shocked, but now he was looking at Jared.
He nodded. Alpha was still staring and Jared wondered what he had done wrong.
“How did you know how to do this?” Alpha asked.
“I, uhm, I found this old handwritten recipe book. Is it not good?”
Jensen blinked at him. “It’s excellent. But that’s not the question here. The question is how do you know how to read?”
Jared shifted around on his chair. Once again the stupidity had taken hold off him. He had managed to hide his education from his former alpha, but Jensen had lulled him into this false sense of security with his niceties. Stupid.
“I was home-schooled,” Jared explained, but didn’t know how to continue. He had no idea how Alpha would react to his unusual family.
“And you were taught to read?” Alpha’s voice was filled with disbelief. This couldn’t end well.
Jared nodded anyway. “Yes. My omega-parent taught me.”
“An omega teaching another omega how to read! What are you gonna tell me next? You can also calculate in your head and recite all fifty states with their capitals?”
Jared thought it was good that Alpha phrased this as a rhetorical question. He probably wouldn’t like the answer.
Alabama – Montgomery, Alaska – Juneau, Arizona – Phoenix, Arkansas -
“I don’t believe this,” Alpha said and either Jared was already suffering from fear-induced hallucinations or he sounded happy.
“I pick up a beaten and half-starved omega in Chris’s back alley and he turns out to be an exceptional specimen. This actually solves so many problems!” Jensen’s brow suddenly creased as if something just occurred to him.
“You should have told me earlier, you can learn so much better from books than from the videos.”
Jared looked down on his plate, not quite sure how to react. He had never thought Alpha would see his education as a good thing. Most omegas never learned to read, only a select few were taught this skill and then they were only taught how to read, never how to write. Jared could do both.
“How well can you read anyway?” Alpha suddenly asked.
Jared was still completely stunned that Jensen liked that he could read, so he blurted out the first thing that popped into his mind, “I’ve read Shakespeare.”
Jensen’s eyebrows rose almost to his hairline. “Did you understand it?”
“Do you remember anything of it?”
Jared drew in a deep breath. The words came easily, after all the time he still remembered every single one of them, couldn’t forget even if he wanted to, how his parents had recited them to each other when they thought Jared was already asleep in his bed.
“Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.”
Jensen couldn’t help but stare. What Jared had just recited was beautiful.
Of course, he was surprised that he had memorized it so well, but not only that, his omega had actually recited it, with intonation, meter, the whole shebang. If he were an alpha Jensen would have said he should consider being an actor.
Jensen didn’t even recognize the play this was supposed to be from. He had gotten a good education, but the characters Romeo or Juliet didn’t ring a bell. Maybe Jared had confused something.
“I don’t recognize this play. Are you sure it’s Shakespeare?”
Jared nodded. “Yes. It’s called Romeo and Juliet.”
“What is it about?”
“Uhm, well it’s about Romeo and Juliet,” Jared said and started to fidget.
“Really?” Jensen asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “I never would have guessed.”
Jared looked up at him then, eyes glinting. Jensen had challenged him and yep, his omega’s temper was still there. Instead of being annoyed by it, Jensen suddenly realized he found it endearing. He had always admired if people had a strong backbone and didn’t shrink back when faced with obstacles, so it was no surprise he came to like it in his omega as well. As long as Jared wouldn’t forget his place, Jensen wouldn’t mind a little fire.
Besides, Jared looked good with a spark in his eyes.
“Well, it’s a love story,” Jared said and there was a decidedly large amount of snark in his voice. “Only their families hate each other, so they can’t be together. They meet at a Masquerade and fall in love. They know they can never really be together but they get married anyway. Then Romeo gets involved in a fight and is exiled from the city. Julia fakes her death so she can escape and be with him, but Romeo doesn’t know it’s fake and kills himself. When she wakes up and sees him dead, she kills herself as well. The end.”
Huh. The story had all the elements of a great tragedy, Jensen wondered why he had never heard of it.
“It’s not a well-known play, though.”
Jared shook his head. “No, it’s not.”
“Do you know why?” Jensen asked him and again Jared shook his head, but the omega shifted his eyes away and avoided looking at Jensen.
Did he know more? The thought alone should be ridiculous, what could an omega know that he didn’t, but Jared was a constant surprise, so Jensen decided to drop it and do some research later. After he had finished eating this delicious dinner.
When Jared was busy cleaning up in the kitchen Jensen went into the living-room. His Shakespeare anthology was sitting high up on a shelf, but even after going through the table of contents twice he couldn’t find a play called Romeo and Juliet.
He went upstairs in his study and turned on his laptop.
Finding out about this play was harder than he had thought, other than the occasional obscure reference that the play existed he found nothing.
It wasn’t until he stumbled across an article about a literature professor being banned from Harvard that he got more details. Apparently the professor had worked on examining old plays from the Elizabethan era and wanted to publish an article about them, even though several of them were thought to be lost. Romeo and Juliet had been among them.
The article was mostly about the professor and his scandalous affair with a young alpha student that had led to his sacking, but then Jensen stumbled about an old blog entry concerning the professor.
“As everybody else, we were shocked about the news of Professor Roché and his lewd behavior towards students.
We all know and respect bright and ambitious running back Tyson Brady, a familiar face for everyone on campus. Brady is well known for his friendliness, especially to freshmen betas and his sociability. Never one to turn down an invitation, he was the guest of many an event. To hear that the fit 6' 4" running back was the victim of molestation by our fair literature professor came as a shock indeed.
Professor Roché not only apparently sexually harassed numerous students who just now have gathered the courage to come forward and accuse him of all manners of harassment, he had already attracted his colleagues’ ire earlier this semester with a new research project that many called pointless and eccentric. Originally funded with a one million dollar grant Professor Roché intended to examine numerous plays from the Elizabethan era, many of whom are believed to be lost, but were actually just housed in an obscure room in the Library of Congress without a signature to find them. How such old and paramount plays could be lost is currently the subject of another government investigation.
Professor Roché had taken an elevated interested in one of the lost Shakespeare tragedies. This play-writer is inarguable one of the most gifted poets who ever lived and yet it does seem like several of his works were lost in the late eighteenth century. A rediscovery should be grounds for celebration, but according to government officials the only copy in existence is so severely damaged that it can’t be examined without risking its preservation. This means that Professor Roché will not only be charged with sexual harassment, but also with endangering a rare national treasure. Never mind that Master Shakespeare was British.
Professor Roché was also critiqued by his colleagues for clearly having lost his touch with reality and his ability to actually interpret old literature. Those who examined his notes proclaimed them to be entirely ridiculous. Upon our further inquiry nobody wanted to go into details about what was so ludicrous about Professor Roché’s theories, it was only when we meet Professor Henriksen perchance in the local sports bar after a Patriot’s game that we received more information.
Professor Henriksen confided in us that Professor Roché had become increasingly delusional about the characters' true nature. Apparently he had proclaimed that in the most famous love story of its time the protagonists were not a classic alpha-beta couple kept apart by their families' hatred, but rather a star-crossed alpha-omega couple, forced to hide their love due to society’s rule. That, of course, is ridiculous.
Obviously there has never been a time when people considered our societal structures unjust and wanted to fight it. There has also never been a time when omegas had more rights than they do now, because why would they need them? Clearly the current European movement must be fueled by libertarian ideas and weirdos like Professor Roché.
Upon our inquiry what would happen with Professor Roché we were told that he was not going to be charged with anything, because he had voluntarily pulled out of the scientific circles. When we asked what was going to happen with the harassment charges we were told that they had only been misunderstandings, but that Professor Roché had still agreed to never teach again.
Phew. Thank god a dangerous man like Sebastian Roché, who did not harass anybody sexually and who only did what every other researcher does, research, has been banished from all educational institutions of the United States.
Finally we can breathe easy again.
Jensen stared at the screen for a long time, not quite knowing what to think about this.
The article not only described the professor’s affair in such ironic tones that one couldn’t possibly take it serious, it also implied the professor was sacked because of his theories about omegas.
Shakespeare, a secret advocate for omega rights? Really?
And how could Jared quote a play that had been supposedly lost for over two hundred years?
Usually Jensen would brush the article off as another hippy libertarian view on omegas, but something with how the whole thing presented itself and in combination with all that he had learned about Jared.... Shit, it made his head hurt.
Jensen went over to the sideboard, poured himself a whiskey and downed the whole thing in one go. He refilled it immediately.
He didn’t even know where to start, nothing made sense really. Jared could read. And recite poetry. Allegedly lost poetry. And he couldn’t even argue that maybe it was fake, because that little part had sounded exactly like something written by Shakespeare would. And how would an omega be able to grasp something so complex anyway?
Jensen downed the next glass.
Obviously Jared was special. He was especially pretty, why not be especially smart?
It still didn’t explain the poetry though. No matter how long he thought about it, the only one who would be able to shed some light on this mystery was Jared himself.
Jared. It all came back to the omega.
When Jensen had seen him for the first time, he had seen a beautiful and broken creature that would warm his bed and give him children.
Now he was Jared. He shared his bed and his life. Sure, he cleaned and cooked and did all the other things that omegas were supposed to do, but he was so much more.
All those things omegas were notorious for – their stupidity, their laziness and their indolence – Jared displayed none of those traits.
Jensen found himself wanting his company more and more, be it for dinner or Jared sleeping in his bed. He wanted to kiss and cuddle him. He wanted to keep him safe, so he would never have those horrible nightmares again, and he felt never more happy and satisfied when Jared just melted into his arms during their knottings or after waking up screaming in the middle in the night because of a bad dream.
These feelings were so confusing, Jared was an omega for fuck’s sake! An omega who could read. It was ridiculous, but Jensen could just not get over that. He needed to figure out what the hell was going on with his omega.
So Jensen poured himself another glass and went to his bedroom.
Jared was already there, lying under the covers, watching Jensen warily.
Jensen sat down at the edge of the bed and took another sip from his glass. “So, I think it’s time you told me how exactly you grew up.”
Jared’s eyes widened in surprise, maybe even fear, but he didn’t flinch. He nodded.
“I grew up on a farm. It was only my parents and me. They taught me everything they knew,” Jared started, unsure of what exactly Alpha wanted to know.
“My omega-parent and my alpha-sire,” Jared explained, using the accurate terms for omegas.
Jensen cocked an eyebrow. “No beta?”
Jared shook his head. “My father loved my mother, he didn’t want anyone else.”
“He loved her?” Alpha asked incredulously.
“His family had always been liberal with how they treated omegas. For my dad, gender didn’t matter.”
Alpha shook his head. “Jared, I’m sure he cared deeply for her, but he didn’t love her. That’s something that can only exist in an equal partnership between an alpha and a beta.”
“You’re right,” Jared said, and he was proud that his voice wasn’t shaking with all his anger. “Love can only exist in an equal partnership.”
“What about that play? Romeo and Juliet is supposedly one of the lost works.”
Shit. Of course Jared had to go and recite the one play that had been banned centuries ago. There was no way Jared would tell him exactly how liberal his father’s family had been with their omegas, after all, a few of his cousins were still alive, scattered all over the country and Jared would not endanger them by telling his alpha about their potentially revolutionary ideas.
“I don’t know, Alpha,” Jared said, looking at his alpha with open eyes, trying to convey his cluelessness. His alpha was usually so fast to think he was too stupid to understand things anyway, maybe he could make that work in his favor.
“It was my parent’s favorite part.” That was true. “I didn’t know that it was allegedly lost.” That was a lie. “Dad always read it from this really old book.” Also a lie. Somebody in the family had reprinted it themselves.
Alpha harrumphed, but didn’t inquire further about Romeo and Juliet.
“I realize that life must have been hard for you, being better educated than the average omega and maybe having ideas.” Alpha looked at him expectantly and Jared fought to keep his expression neutral. He did indeed have ideas.
“And from now on,” his alpha continued, “I will treat you accordingly.”
Wait, what? “What?”
“I underestimated you,” Alpha said. He emptied his glass and scooted closer to Jared, putting a hand on his cheek.
“I should have seen how special you are from the start. I didn’t, but now I do. You’re so much smarter, so much stronger than any omega I’ve ever seen before. I’m so lucky that I found you. You’re a truly precious creature, sweety.”
Jared opened his mouth, but no sound came out. One of his favorite stories of growing up had been Alice in Wonderland. Right now he felt like he was falling down the rabbit hole.
“You have to believe me, okay? I will never hurt you, I will always take care of you.”
Yep, he had totally just eaten the mushroom and joined the Mad Hatter for tea. Well, it was his un-birthday after all.
Jared suppressed a mad giggle while his alpha continued to stroke his face reverently.
“You’ll be happy here, you see. As soon as you go into heat, you’ll finally able to get pregnant and give me children. With your genes they will be extraordinary.”
It was like getting sprayed off with a garden hose. The slight hysteria was replaced by cold, instant fear.
“I never really wanted a beta anyway,” Alpha continued in a hushed voice, like he was telling him a secret. “We’ll be just like your parents.”
Hope started growing in his chest. Could it be? Was it actually possibly-
Alpha leaned forwards and pressed a kiss on Jared’s neck, directly above the collar. Then he placed another one right below it and traced the collar’s edge with his index finger.
“You’re mine, Jared. My omega.”
Jared’s hope crumbled. Like a fragile house of cards it collapsed, one story with every word his alpha spoke.
The collar around his neck had never felt so tight as it did right now, a heavy weight tying him down in this ugly reality that would never change.
“You’re special, Jared, but you’re still an omega. You still need an alpha. Now, I don’t know what your parents told you exactly and tried to make you believe, but you can’t ignore your true nature. You can’t pretend to be something you’re not. You wanted too much and I gave you too little, so from now on we’ll meet in the middle.”
Jensen smiled at him and somehow Jared managed to form his lips into a curve. His muscles were protesting, screaming at him that this was not the emotion they wanted to express.
When the alpha leaned down to kiss him, Jared had to close his eyes.
So close. Alpha had seen the truth, but instead of realizing what it meant, he re-shaped it to fit into his own reality. Jared knew that a person’s mind couldn’t be changed like that in just a few weeks, but his time was running out. Jensen might be affectionate and caring now, but who knew how fast that would change once he discovered the pregnancy.
When his alpha climbed into bed with him, Jared stopped thinking. There was no room for any other thoughts anyway.
Jensen was all-encompassing, stealing Jared’s air and his ability to think straight, turning him into a puddle of goo in no time. Under Jensen’s capable hands he forgot the anger and the despair, the crushed hope and the powerlessness.
There was just Jensen, holding him tight, bringing him more pleasure than he had ever imagined he could feel, his hands roaming so gently over his body, his lips trailing hotly over his skin, and his dick filling him up so good until he pushed his knot inside and Jared couldn’t even think how good it was anymore, he just let himself fall.
When they lay knotted, Jensen presses a kiss into Jared’s hair. “I’d like you to call me Jensen all the time. I like how my name sounds when you say it.”
“Yes, Jensen,” Jared managed to get out while he swallowed back the tears.
He slept fitful that night while Al- Jensen slept like a stone. Jared finally got up around six o’clock, not being able to stay in bed one second longer.
He went into the bathroom to relieve himself and afterwards he stopped in front of the mirror.
He was stark naked, Alp- Jensen didn’t want him to wear clothes in the bed. His physique had definitely changed since he came here. He had more flesh on his bones and his muscles were still strong, but not looking quite so stringy anymore.
He looked healthier. He looked-
Jared felt his heart stop in his chest, before it started beating like crazy. Slowly, he brought his hand up to his belly. He pressed it against his lower abdomen.
It wasn’t a mistake. It wasn’t an illusion or the lights playing a trick on him. He had a bump. A tiny, almost invisible bump. But it was there, he could see it and he could feel it.
Suddenly Jared felt the bile rise in his throat and he hurried to the toilet. He threw up and hoped like hell that Alpha wouldn’t wake up.
He got up on shaking legs and stalked over to the sink. He was on autopilot when he rinsed his mouth and splashed water onto his cheeks.
He had known he was pregnant, but being able to feel the proof of a life growing inside of him, a small, innocent, helpless life – Jared balled his hands to fist, his nails digging into his palms, the pain staving off the tears.
He had no idea what Jensen would do with the child, but the possibilities were all terrible. How could he bring a child, no matter its gender, into this terrible world?
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Alpha did make him have an abortion. Jared felt horrible for even thinking that, but if the child was an omega...
The possibility was actually quite likely, almost a third of all children birthed by an omega were omegas. There were still more alphas and betas, because the few fertile betas only gave birth to alphas and betas. If it wasn’t for omegas giving birth to omegas, humanity would have dwindled down to almost nothing by now.
Unfortunately that didn’t help omegas in the slightest.
Jared put his hand on the little bump of his stomach. He wouldn’t be able to hide it much longer and he was pretty sure Jensen wouldn’t believe that he hadn't noticed his pregnancy earlier.
Jared drew in a deep breath. Today he would make lasagna, alpha’s favorite dish and then he would tell him. And hope for the best, even though he wasn’t quite sure what that was supposed to be.
Additional warnings for this chapter: Possibly triggery content due to the discussion and the outcome as to how Jensen will deal with Jared's pregnancy. If you're not sure what to expect and want to know beforehand, feel free to ask.
The lasagna looked delicious. The cheese on top had melted and turned golden brown in several spots, the olive oil was slowly sloshing around on top of it, moved by the still bubbling cheese and the smell had just the right mixture of meat, tomatoes, garlic and cheese.
Jared doubted it would help. He brought it out into the living-room anyway.
Jensen ambled over from the couch, a dopey grin on his face. “You made lasagna!”
Jared nodded. “You said you liked it.”
If possible, Jensen smiled even wider. It made him look younger and even more handsome than usual.
“I love it. Thanks, sweety.”
Jared pushed the anger down. Apparently Jensen had decided to treat him like a human being now, saying please and thank you. But it didn’t change anything. Not when Jared wasn’t allowed to say no.
They sat down and ate. It was a mostly quiet affair.
Jensen was happy eating the lasagna, while Jared was pushing the food around on his plate. Jensen didn’t notice, not until he had cleared his own place.
“Jared, what’s wrong?” he asked, concern heavy in his voice. “You need to eat, sweety, you still need to gain a few pounds.”
Jared nodded. “I know. It’s just, I need to tell you something.”
Jensen’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. “What?”
Jared slowly put his fork down. He drew in a deep breath and looked up at his Alpha.
He tried to keep his voice steady when he said, “I’m pregnant.”
Jensen blinked. “What do you mean, you’re pregnant?”
Jared stared incredulously at the alpha. “Well, that I’m pregnant. What else could it mean?”
“Jeez, I don’t know Jared,” Jensen griped, “but since you haven’t been in heat yet, you can’t be pregnant.”
“I can,” he retorted and now his voice quivered. “I was in heat two months ago.”
“Two months ago you were still with your old alpha.” It was a statement, slightly wooden and clinical, and Jared just nodded.
“You’re pregnant from your old alpha?” Jensen asked, even though Jared didn’t know which other possibility there could be.
“That-” Jensen paused and exhaled heavily before he continued, “that is unfortunate.”
Jared nodded slightly. His alpha looked pissed, but not murderous, so maybe-
“You’re two months along?” Jensen asked, his voice all business now, falling back in the alpha-talking-to-his-omega register.
“I see. This makes things slightly more difficult, but it’s nothing we can’t handle. And I didn’t plan on having children this year anyway, so it doesn’t matter all that much.”
Jared balled his hands into fists and looked down in his lap. He didn’t want to know what Jensen meant by handling this.
“You can still do all your chores, and of course Jim has to give you a thorough check up, but since you’re so young giving birth shouldn’t be a problem.”
Jared’s head snapped up. He tried to push the hope expanding in his chest down, he couldn’t get too excited now, but-
“You’re not forcing me to have an abortion?”
Jensen’s forehead wrinkled in disgust. “Of course not! Do you know how much that could impair your fertility? Besides, every life is sacred and since I had you chipped the government expects a certain output.”
Jared’s heart was hammering in his chest. “So I get to keep the baby?”
“Jared, don’t be ridiculous,” Jensen snapped, clearly impatient now. “I’m not going to raise another alpha’s child.”
Jared felt his throat close up. He had tried to prepare himself, but this... He swallowed and pushed it down. All the despair and the agony, the sadness and the anger – he pushed it all down. Later, when Jensen was asleep, he could let it out. But not now.
He hadn’t realized that Alpha had moved, but suddenly he was standing in front of Jared and wiped a trail of wetness from his face.
Jared hadn't even realized he had started to cry.
“Don’t be sad, sweety,” Jensen said in a tone so gentle that even through the haze, Jared wanted to rip his lungs out.
“I’ll give the baby up for adoption and I will make sure it goes to a good and loving couple.”
“If it’s an alpha or a beta, you mean,” Jared said, his voice distant in his own ears.
“What if it’s an omega?”
“Then I’ll sell it of course.” Of course.
Some involuntary reaction must have shown on his face because Alpha drew him out of his chair and into his lap and started stroking his hair. “Don’t worry, sweety, I’ll make sure it goes to a good family. It won’t suffer like you did.”
“But they want omegas ready for breeding,” he mumbled into Alpha’s shirt collar. “They don’t want to have to raise them.”
Jensen shrugged. “I might get less money, but on the upside, people who raise their own omega are much less likely to abuse them.”
They also tended to start fucking them earlier, not waiting for the recommended age of sixteen, and sometimes they even fucked them before their first heat. But Jared didn’t say that. He just sat there, still as Lot’s omega and let Jensen think he was comforting him.
There was nothing else he could do.
Things didn’t really change after Jared told Jensen about the pregnancy, not at first anyway.
The next day, Jensen took him to see Doctor Beaver, and an extensive series of tests and ultrasounds revealed that Jared was in fact two months pregnant with a single fetus, and that he and the baby were healthy. The gender of the fetus was still indeterminable and Jensen declined Beaver’s offer to do an amniocentesis.
Of course Jensen didn’t care about the baby’s gender, Jared thought bitterly, he didn’t want to keep it anyway. And in a society were children were the most valuable commodity, he would have no problem finding someone to take the baby, no matter its gender.
When they got home, Jensen went back to work and Jared went back to his chores.
He tried to tell himself that it could have been worse, way worse. And it wasn't even that Jared wanted children, for fuck's sake. Ever since his parents had died and he had realized that he'd been doomed to a lifetime of slavery, he had given up all dreams on having a family.
And maybe the child would indeed turn out to be an alpha or a beta and everything would be fine.
So Jared did the laundry. And cleaned the house. Cooked dinner. Spread his legs for Jensen.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Days blended into weeks and Jared's stomach grew. He was still unaffected by the pregnancy otherwise, and Jensen made the occasional comment about his excellent physical condition, and how that would enable him to have many children. He meant it to be comforting, Jared was just horrified.
He mentally distanced himself from the child growing inside of him, trying not to see it as a part of him, but as the legacy that his last alpha had left him with, one last act of cruelty.
In the beginning he'd had to stop himself forcibly from touching his belly, but he managed to ignore the impulse after a while.
It was coming up to the sixth month mark, when Jensen developed a belly kink. He still ignored it during the day, but whenever they fucked, he would touch it and run his hands over the swell.
Jared had no problem figuring out that Jensen was dreaming of the day Jared would be pregnant with his child.
The pregnancy continued to progress normally, and during their sixth month check-up Dr. Beaver could finally make out the gender of the baby.
“Well, it's no alpha,” he said in a gruff voice. “But I can't tell yet if it's a beta or an omega. That's too hard to see when the fetus is still in the womb. You'll have to wait until it's born or do an amniocentesis.”
Jensen shook his head. “The risks are too big. We can wait.”
Jared just wanted to go to bed and sleep and forget that he had to wait another three month to wait until he knew the fate of the child.
The not knowing, the possibility of the child being an omega, Jared didn't think he could bear it. So that night over dinner he told Jensen that he didn't want to know the gender of the child.
“Even after it is born?” Jensen asked confused.
Jared nodded. “I couldn't stand it if it were an omega. So just don't tell me, and then I can pretend it's a beta and everything will be alright.”
“I can just tell you if it's a beta.”
“No! Because then I'll know it's an omega if you say nothing and... I just can't okay?”
Jensen sighed. “Jared, I spoke with the adoption agency yesterday. There are hundreds of nice couples who would buy an omega baby. You can even help me choose them.”
Jared looked at Jensen, unable to keep the angry disbelieve out of his voice. “It doesn't matter how nice the couple is, they'll still buy the child as a slave and treat it as such! You have no idea, what it's like out there, and you sit here-” Jared broke off and took a deep breath. “I just don't want to know. This is not my child anyway, so I shouldn't concern myself with it, right?”
Jensen looked uncertain, but he agreed anyway.
Jared abruptly got up. “I'm not hungry anymore, I'm gonna start cleaning up the kitchen.”
Jensen didn't say anything, so Jared just left.
Jensen couldn't sleep. Jared was lying next to him, curled up around his belly and snoring softly. Today had been hard. Jared was very concerned with the child's future and he was clearly afraid that it would suffer just as he had.
Jared had been burned badly, and he had a hard time believing that most omegas were in fact very happy. Maybe Jensen should take Jared out with him more, so he'd realize the world wasn't as bad as he made it out to be.
He sighed. For the other problem, he had no solution. Omegas usually didn't become attached to the children they birthed. It was believed that because the part of the omega's DNA that was passed on was so minimal, they were lacking the ability to recognize the child as their own.
But of course, Jared was different.
So Jensen was reconsidering giving the baby up. But then he thought about the time it would take Jared to care for the baby, how having a child that wasn't his in the house was not something he could ever imagine to accept.
He hadn't really wanted children before, but seeing Jared with his belly swollen, things had changed. Suddenly Jensen wanted. He wanted to have children with Jared, and he didn't want a beta to join him. He had always told himself the desire for a relationship would come when he was ready to settle down with a family, but he had to admit that that wasn't the case.
The thought of a beta still did nothing for him, just like the thought of a relationship wasn't all that tempting. He liked his life the way it was, he didn't need to rearrange it around someone else, or find himself pressured to fulfill expectations and make compromises.
And Chris was right. In their day and age, it was perfectly acceptable to be a single parent. Besides, he would have Jared.
He knew he was getting attached to the young omega, but how could he not? Jared was beautiful, smart and obedient – most of the time – and he was there whenever Jensen wanted him, which had turned out to be more often that not.
And on the rare occasion Jared smiled, it lit up the whole room and warmed Jensen’s heart.
He was the perfect companion in bed, so pliant and pretty, loving everything Jensen gave him and so eager too please. At the thought of the last time they had sex, Jensen felt his dick harden and he thought about waking Jared up. Just sliding up behind him, inside him and knotting him until they both fell asleep.
Jared muttered and scrunched his eyes adorably when Jensen drew him into his arms, but he spread his legs easily enough when Jensen nudged him with his leg.
His omega was still wet and loose from earlier and Jensen just pushed inside.
“Shhh.” Jensen put a hand on that rounded belly and imagined their child growing inside of Jared. “Just wanna knot you, sweety.”
“Okay,” Jared mumbled and went lax again.
Jensen moved in slow circling motions, inflating his knot without even really fucking Jared. When he came, it was soft and slow, but they were tied together and the worry he had felt before was gone.
The first time Jared experienced discomfort during the pregnancy was after a particularly long day in the garden. He was about eight month along now, belly swollen and skin stretched taut.
It had been the first good day after a week of rain, so Jared had spent most of the day outside, plucking weeds and cutting back the hedge.
In the evening, his feet were swollen and his back hurt. He didn't say anything to Jensen and his alpha didn't seem to notice.
Over the next week, the back pains became more frequent and Jared felt the fatigue creep into his bones earlier every day. It was nothing compared to the things he'd had to endure before, so it wasn't until a Sunday afternoon and Jensen told him to clean the windows that Jared protested.
“Can't that wait?” he asked, harsher than he'd meant to, but Jensen's ignorance to his well-being was nagging at him, especially since his alpha told him every day how special he was to him. And if that wasn't the joke of the century.
“Why should it wait?” Jensen asked, clearly confused.
Jared gestured to his belly. “I'm not really in my best form here and my center of gravity is kinda off so I'd like to avoid climbing on ladders.”
“Oh. I didn't think it would matter. Omegas are usually unaffected by a pregnancy.” Jensen actually looked disapproving.
“Well,” Jared said, and this time he didn't even try to keep his voice neutral. “I've gained about fifteen pounds and most of them are here,” he put a hand on his belly for emphasize. “How about you try walking around with that all day, before you judge me for not wanting to climb a freaking ladder!”
Jensen's mouth fell open and before he could say something, Jared turned around and went into the kitchen.
He went to the fridge, took out the ingredients for their dinner, and only after he had put the pasta in a pot full of water, did he relax his tense body. His hands started shaking and he put the knife down three times before he could start chopping the onions.
He had no idea how Jensen would react to his outburst.
As it turned out, Jensen didn't react to it at all. He ate his dinner in silence, before disappearing into his office again. The last weeks Jared hadn't seen a lot of him, apparently some kind of deadline was approaching, but since Jensen didn't really share things about his work, Jared had little information.
The next two weeks, Jared saw even less of Jensen. Their interactions were limited to meal times and at night, when Jensen came to bed and fucked Jared to sleep.
Jared still craved his alpha's knot, his averse feelings towards him apparently not registering with his body's basic desires.
So every night when Jensen touched him, Jared pressed back, opened up to him, let Jensen push and position him until his alpha came deep within him, his release triggering Jared's own.
It ate at him, slowly but constantly, that Jensen managed to worm himself into Jared somehow, with all his tender touches and loving words.
Jared craved the affection, couldn't get enough of it and it made it all the worse when Jensen said or did something typical alpha-like, treating Jared like he was something less again.
Jared had never in his life wanted someone to see the world for what it really was as he did now.
In the last month of his pregnancy, Jared started suffering from side effects. Jensen knew that omegas usually had a much easier pregnancy than betas, but he had read that even omegas could be affected. And Jared was right, he had gained a substantial amount of weight, if nothing else it was harder to move and balance now.
So Jensen told him to stay out of the garden and when Jared came to bed at night, his mouth pulled down in discomfort when he tried to surreptitiously rub his back, Jensen drew him into his arms and rubbed his hard muscles. He also rubbed his feet and Jared just melted into the pillows, pleased little moans falling from his lips, and Jensen would massage him until he was lose and relaxed and then push into his welcoming heat.
Being pregnant, Jared was even more enticing than usual and Jensen couldn't wait for Jared to go into heat again and make his belly swell with Jensen's child.
It was a normal Wednesday night when Jensen woke up because the bed next to him was empty. Light was spilling in from the hallway and from downstairs and when Jensen descended the stairs he found Jared pacing the living room.
“Sweety, what's up?”
Jared looked up at him. “I think it started.”
“Yeah.” Jared worried his lower lip. “It isn't bad yet, contractions are fifteen minutes apart, so I didn't want to wake you.”
Jensen nodded and rubbed his hand over his eyes. “Fifteen minutes? What does that mean?”
Jared shrugged his shoulders. “I don't know for sure. But I don't think I need to go to the clinic before breakfast.”
“Okay.” Jensen nodded and went back to bed. He was in the last stages of his current project and he needed all the sleep he could get.
When Jensen woke up the next time, the house smelled like coffee and pancakes.
He ambled down into the kitchen and grabbed himself a cup before he realized that Jared wasn't there. He found him curled up in an armchair, face scrunched up in pain.
“I think we should go now.”
“Okay.” Jensen eyed Jared worriedly on their way to the car. Giving birth was child's play for omegas, why was Jared in pain?
“Is everything alright?”
Jared nodded and pushed his bangs out of his face, revealing little pearls of sweat glistening on his forehead.
Jensen pressed down on the gas pedal harder anyway.
In the clinic, a nurse guided him into the waiting area, while another nurse led Jared away to the delivery room.
“Your omega seems to be along quite far, it shouldn't take longer than a few hours. We'll call you when he delivers the baby. Have you decided what you want to do with it yet?”
“It depends on the baby's gender,” Jensen told the nurse and she nodded.
“We'll call right away. Now we usually keep omegas overnight for observation, so you can pick him up tomorrow. Depending on his condition we'll give you a suggested work schedule.”
“So he'll be fine?” Jensen asked, even though he didn't know where the worry was coming from.
“Oh, of course,” the nurse said. “He's an omega. They have the constitution of a cow.”
Jensen still felt reluctant to leave and the nurse gave him a sympathetic smile. “Are you a first-time omega owner?”
The nurse nodded. “I can understand your concern, but he'll be perfectly fine and his inability to work shouldn't last longer than a few days. Don't worry about a thing, Mr. Ackles, we'll call you.”
Jensen drove home and tried to get some more work down, but he was distracted.
When the nurse called him in the afternoon and told him that it had been a textbook birth and asked what he wanted to do with the child, Jensen told her, he'd come over, even though she assured him it could be handled over the phone.
In the clinic's lobby, he was met by the same nurse from that morning and an elderly beta in a pencil suit.
“Mr. Ackles,” she greeted him. “I'm Susan Turner, I'm with the adoption agency. Doctor Beaver just showed me the child and she's a perfect little beta. You have a very good breeder there it seems.”
Jensen smiled. “I know.”
“May I ask why you want to give her up for adoption?”
“The baby isn't mine,” Jensen explained and ignored Mrs. Turner's raised eyebrows. It was none of her business. “Jared was already pregnant when I got him.”
“I see.” Mrs. Turner's mouth pursed. “Since you chipped your omega, the government expects-”
“I know what the government expects,” Jensen cut her off. “There's no need to worry, I plan on having plenty of kids on my own as soon as Jared goes into heat again.”
Mrs. Turner smiled satisfied. “Since he already gave birth once, three should be sufficient, but there are premiums for every other child of course.”
Jensen gave her a tight smile. He didn't want kids because of the money and tax reliefs he would get.
“Alright, then let's get those papers signed!”
After Mrs. Turner had left with the baby – Jensen had taken a peak at it, a tiny, red, shriveled up something that hadn't resembled Jared at all – Jensen went into Jared's room. He had a quick chat with Jim, who assured him that Jared had done great and nothing stood in the way of more pregnancies.
Jared was lying in the white bed and he was sleeping. He was wearing a hospital gown and the dark leather collar was a stark contrast to his pale throat.
Jensen carefully stroked over the leather and thought for the hundredth time that he should get Jared a better collar. Maybe he'd buy one today, to reward Jared for doing so good during the birth.
He contemplated waking Jared up, but he had dark circles under his eyes and he looked exhausted, so he just stroked his hair out of his face and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“See you tomorrow, sweetheart,” he mumbled before he went home.
On the drive home, Jensen contemplated buying the new collar now, but the deadline was moving closer and he really needed to work. It was very inconvenient that his client had told him he'd have half a year for the plans and then suddenly told him he needed it a month earlier.
So Jensen went home and worked.
He picked Jared up the next day, and his omega was still a bit tired, so they didn't talk much.
The next weeks were rather hectic for Jensen. Last minutes adjustments needed to be made, people needed to be called, permissions to be obtained and red tape maneuvered. Jensen was good at his job and he liked the thrill of the power play that came with it, but he could do without the time pressure.
He realized that his schedule took a strain on Jared as well. The few moments he spent time with Jared, apart from eating with him, his omega was quieter than usual and he smiled less.
And Jensen was really sorry, he knew he had promised Jared to treat him better, treat him like he deserved, but right now he just didn't have the time.
He vowed to at least knot him every night, in hopes that that would tide his little omega over until the damn project was finished.
Jared was living in a haze. He was only distantly aware of his surroundings, Jensen's words fuzzy, meaningless sounds in his ears.
He went through his routine on autopilot; getting up at the crack of dawn, preparing breakfast, making plans for lunch and dinner, cleaning, cooking lunch, more cleaning, cooking dinner, spending time with Jensen on the couch, going to bed.
His alpha had yet to touch him, but he was probably repulsed by his sagging belly. On the day of his discharge, the nurse had explained to Jensen that his body would take a few weeks to go back to normal, but that sex wouldn't be a problem, the closing of the birth canal wouldn't be disturbed by anal sex.
Oddly enough, the thought that Jensen found his body unappealing was nothing that really bothered him. It might have before, back when he thought he cared about Jensen caring, but not anymore.
He tried to examine why he was feeling this way; he hadn't wanted the child, still didn't want it and he hadn't been attached at all. So why was he grieving anyway?
It didn't come to him until a few weeks later when Jensen touched him for the first time.
It was just the ghosting of his fingers of Jared's hip, a glance from under long eyelashes and telling Jared with a deeper voice that it was time to go to bed.
Jared wasn't grieving for the child that had been taken away. Jared was grieving for the possibility of the child, the possibility of a family, a relationship, of a life, that Jensen had so casually destroyed after giving Jared hope for the first time since his parents had died.
Jared shuddered and from the way Jensen's eyes lit up, he knew the alpha interpreted it as arousal, when all it really was was desperation.
But Jared didn't protest when Jensen lead him up to the bedroom. Didn't protest when Jensen slowly, carefully, almost reverently undressed him. Didn't say a word when Jensen pushed him down into the soft mattress and he didn't make a single sound when he pushed inside.
The frenzy from before, the pregnancy induced horniness, it was gone. Jared's body still reacted to his alpha's knot but his mind stayed detached.
He felt no need to run his fingers over Jensen's back, no need to raise his hips and push up against him. His heart wasn't beating quicker and his breathing wasn't speeding up.
He just felt empty.
Days stretched into weeks and Jared went through the motions. Jensen was oblivious.
There were moments when Jared wanted to wave his arms in front of the alpha's face and scream, shove him and ask him how he could not see the difference, but he never did.
Sometimes Jensen would look at him, hard and scrutinizing, but he never said anything.
So Jared cooked and cleaned and bared his ass for Jensen. It didn't really matter, it was all the same to him.
He talked when required, but it wasn't much. But then again, Jensen had never been big on the whole talking thing, for him it seemed enough that Jared was just always there.
Things changed when Jensen's project was over.
For a week, Jared saw almost nothing of his alpha and when he did, it was for a quick and hard fuck and a bite to eat.
And then suddenly Jensen was there. He didn't disappear into his study for the whole day anymore, didn't have frantic phone conversations, and didn't snarf his food down at high speed because he needed to go back to doing whatever it was he did.
Jensen was there and he finally noticed that Jared was different. Only as usual, his conclusion was quite far from the truth.
It was after dinner, when Jensen told Jared to get a beer from the fridge and come join him on the couch.
Jensen leaned back and arranged Jared in his lap how he wanted.
“Shit, you're getting big,” he huffed. “Think you grew another inch.”
Jared made a noncommittal sound.
Jensen switched the station to the Discovery Channel. It was shark week.
Jared remembered a time when he’d first come to live with Jensen, when he'd enjoyed this new luxury of being able to watch TV. Now, it didn't really do anything for him.
Jensen occasionally commented on the show, and he didn't seem to mind Jared's silence. He felt himself slowly drifting off, sinking deeper into Jensen's embrace, but it brought him no relief. The haze remained.
He woke up to Jensen carrying him up the stairs. His alpha gave him a smile – the soft, loving one, Jared realized distantly – and gently put him down on the bed.
“I know I didn't have a lot of time for you recently, and I'm sorry about that, sweety. Now that the damn project is over, things are gonna return to normal around here.”
Normal. What was that even supposed to mean? Jensen's every day life? Jared's hell? He had absolutely no fucking idea, and even that elicited only a distant feeling of discomfort.
“C'mon sweety, take your clothes off for me.”
His motions were mechanical when he stripped his shirt and his pants but Jensen was eying him hungrily none the less.
He barely had his clothes off before the alpha's hands were running up and down his body.
“So freaking gorgeous. I can’t see any trace you were pregnant, you're still just as beautiful as before.”
Jared felt something clench inside of him, but it was only a flutter.
He closed his eyes when Jensen started kissing him all over, letting his body take the wheel and drive. He just went to this different place, this dark place in the corner of his mind and his body reacted to Jensen’s touches on its own.
It was weak and subdued, but it was enough. Or had been up til now.
“Sweety, you okay?” Jensen looked at him with concern and Jared forced himself into the present.
“Yeah, I'm fine.”
“You sure?” Jensen’s eyes searched his face. “You're not getting sick are you?”
“No, why would I?” Why couldn't Jensen just fuck him and get it over with?
“Well, you're so quiet. And usually by this point you're begging me to fuck you.”
Jared had wondered, if he'd ever get mad at Jensen again or if that had died, alongside with all other emotions.
“Yeah, well, maybe I'm not in the mood.” Saying that sentence Jared felt more alive since-
Jensen reared his head back. “What?”
“I said, I'm not in the mood.”
“What the fuck? Jared, you're an omega, you are always-”
“I swear to fucking everything, if you tell me that I should be constantly begging for knot I'm gonna use the bedside lamp to bash your head in.”
His words rang heavy in the silence, and Jared didn't know who was more surprised, Jensen or him. Because, for the first time since – he actually felt something. Sure, it was burning red hot anger, but he felt something.
Jensen sat back on his haunches, eying Jared like he'd just turned into an alien in front of him.
“Don't!” Jared interrupted him. He got out of the bed and started to pace. He felt alive again.
“Really just don't. I mean, how fucking blind are you? I've been a zombie for the past weeks and you only notice now because I'm not begging for your knot. You’re such a freaking hypocrite. You go on and on and on about how much you care for me, about how I'm special, how you're gonna treat me like a person, but you don't even notice the mood I'm in.”
“Jared, watch your mouth. Just because I acknowledge your superior status for an omega, doesn't mean you get a wild card here. Of course I noticed you were quieter, but I thought that was because I worked so much.”
Jared's harsh laugh was loud in the bedroom. “Really? And why would I crave your company? Because you’re the only human I get to see, talk to or touch? Or because you actually treat me almost like a person, despite my 'omega-status'?”
“Jared,” Jensen said, his voice a low warning. “I don't know what the fuck your problem is, but this stops now.”
Jared stared at Jensen for the longest time before it dawned on him that Jensen really had no fucking clue.
“You took my child away.”
Jensen looked at him with exasperation and dragged a hand through his hair. “Really? That’s what this is about? Look, Jared, we went over this, I'm not gonna raise another alpha's child. I don't even know how you could expect me to do something like that.”
“Yeah, don't know where I got that idea from.”
Jensen sighed. “I get that you're angry, with the way I indulge you it's really no wonder you get so demanding, but Jared, it's enough now. I'm going to let this one slide, because I know I've been absent the last weeks and I promised you different, but that's no reason to act out. So get your hot ass on the bed and then I'm gonna pet and cuddle you all you want, okay?”
Jared's anger had subsided at some point during Jensen’s speech, but the haze didn't come back.
All he felt was a bone deep disappointment, and a longing for something that could never be. He would have preferred the return to oblivion.
The next morning, Jared woke up because he felt hot and itchy all over.
Jensen was pressed up against him, his hard cock riding the crack of Jared' s ass.
“Mmmm, morning sweety. Shit, you smell good.”
Jared shifted slightly, felt the slick already leaking from his hole, the smell of alpha pheromones filled his nose and made his mouth water.
He'd gone into heat. Shit.
Jensen was lured from sleep by the most delicious scent he had ever smelled.
He drew Jared closer into his arms – he just had to be the source of the smell – and inhaled deeply. He could feel his dick hardening immediately. Jared's scent was pure ambrosia.
Originally, Jensen wanted to have another talk with Jared about his outburst last night, Jensen knew that he had promised Jared better, that Jared deserved better, but his omega had still crossed the line – but now all those thoughts were pushed back in his mind in favor of the want taking over.
“Morning sweety,” he muttered into Jared’s soft hair. “Shit, you smell good.”
Jared pushed back against him, against his hard knot before he stilled.
“No, no, no, no...” Jared kept on mumbling, shaking his head, but his hips had started to move again, little twitches, muscles tensing and relaxing, rubbing against Jensen's dick the whole time.
Jensen flipped Jared around and looked into his pained face.
“Sweety, what’s wrong?”
Brown eyes flew open and his omega stared incredulously at him. “What’s wrong? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm in heat!”
“I know, sweety,” Jensen said and stroked Jared's already sweaty hair out if his face. “Don't worry, I'm gonna make it better.”
“Better-” Jared started, but broke off when Jensen reached between his legs.
Jared was already damp and when Jensen pushed his legs apart, a new wave of that sweet scent hit him.
Thank fuck they were both already naked, Jensen suddenly couldn't wait for a second longer, the need too take Jared too overpowering.
Jared's eyes had closed and he was breathing hard, his chest raising with every choppy breath he sucked in and when Jensen lined his dick up and pushed inside – no resistance, just a smooth easy glide – he moaned low in his throat.
Jensen barely had time for a few thrusts before he felt his knot swell, Jared's pheromones calling to Jensen's body to breed him immediately.
As soon as his knot was in, Jared came, spurting hot between them and the sight sent Jensen over the edge, his release pumping into Jared in long, steady spurts.
He tried to keep his weight off Jared, but they'd be here for a while, so Jensen rolled them around until he was lying on his back, shoulders against the headboard and Jared slumping in his lap.
Jensen was still a bit tired, and with the way his eyes were staying shut apparently so was Jared, so he softly stroked over the omega's head and told him to go back to sleep. They could take a little nap before fucking again.
Jensen woke up before Jared did, but his omega was still resting peacefully, so Jensen let him sleep and headed down to the kitchen to find suitable breakfast food.
He'd never slept with an omega in heat, but he knew all about it.
It usually lasted four to five days and it was the only time an omega was not expected to work, because they were so hopped up on pheromones, they were unable to concentrate on anything but getting fucked.
And while fucking an omega in heat was the best thing that could happen to an alpha, it took a lot of stamina, more than one alpha could provide. Which was why most alphas gave their omegas toys to get through the time they weren't with them.
Shit. Jensen didn't have anything in the house. He knew he wouldn't be able to fuck Jared for five days straight, but he couldn't leave him without help, that was just cruel.
That was probably exactly what his old alpha had done, Jensen thought grimly as he took the stairs two at a time up to the attic.
It was where the discipline bench was, maybe he'd find a few old toys there too. The house had belonged to his uncle and he knew he'd had at least one omega during his life so maybe-
Jensen went through all the cupboards until he finally found a little chest with a few paddles, an intricate looking little construction with straps and stuff – and a knotting dildo.
He left the rest of the stuff up there, and only took the dildo with him. He would never use anything like that to punish Jared and it made him uneasy that his uncle had done that.
When he got to the second floor, he forgot what he'd just been thinking about. Jared's scent had intensified, permeating the whole corridor and Jensen hurried into the bathroom to clean the old toy.
He would give it to Jared, make some breakfast and order dinner for later.
His plan went to hell when he heard Jared moan through the closed bedroom door. His omega was sounding like a wounded animal.
Then the bedroom door opened and Jared came stumbling out.
He had wrapped the sheet loosely around him, but it was hanging off his shoulder. His hair was disheveled and his eyes had a feverish glint in them.
They zeroed in on Jensen immediately, burning into him and for a moment Jensen felt like he was the prey and Jared would devour him alive. Then his omega took a staggering step forward and Jensen hurried to catch him before he fell.
Up close, Jared's scent was even more intoxicating and Jensen found himself biting and licking at his neck before he even realized he’d moved.
Jared was mindlessly rubbing against him, his hands scrabbling for purchase on Jensen's back and clinging to him like his life depended on it.
“Please, Jensen.” Jared's voice was raw and low and it went straight to Jensen’s already aching dick.
“Hurt. Hurts so fucking much, need you, please, Jensen, it hurts!”
“Shh, it's okay sweety, I'm gonna make it better.”
Jensen tried to sooth Jared with words and touch, but his omega was already too far gone, so Jensen picked him up and carried him back into the bedroom. The room reeked of sex and pheromones and Jensen dumped Jared on the bed before following him down.
Jared had already twisted around, baring his ass for Jensen, and he wasted no time pushing inside.
If Jensen had thought he'd last longer, now that is was their second time, he couldn't have been more wrong.
Jared was trashing and writhing under him, constantly begging him to fuck him harder, give him more, and the words sent Jensen into a frenzy, gripping Jared too hard, taking him too rough, but he couldn't stop, couldn't control himself. All he could do was let his instincts run the show and fuck Jared as hard as he possibly could.
He kept his growing knot outside of Jared for as long as he could before pushing it inside, almost fully inflated. Jared's little hole, now red and swollen, just opened up and took him and the sight sent Jensen over the edge so fast, his head started to spin when the pleasure rushed through him.
Jared screamed under him, clenching around his dick and shuddering, before collapsing into the pillows.
Jensen followed him down, but it took him a while to get his breathing under control, so he could talk again.
“You okay, sweety?”
“Yeah, I – sorry. About attacking you like that, I mean. I forgot that it hurts so much.”
“Hey, it's okay.” Jensen pulled Jared against his chest and his omega was beautifully pliant in his arms.
“You don't have to apologize for what your body wants. It's not your fault.”
“I still hate it,” Jared mumbled, that petulant little boy edge in his voice he always got when it was about omegas and their weaknesses.
“I know, sweety. But I'm gonna help you through it.”
Jared snorted. “Your dick will fall off before my heat is even half-way over, if we keep this up.”
Jensen couldn't help but chuckle. “Don't worry, I have a toy. Even if I'm too exhausted I still have something to fill you up.”
Jared twisted around in his arms and looked at him with big eyes. “You do? I mean, what kind of toy do you mean?”
Jensen hadn't really needed the confirmation, but it still made him furious. “A knotting dildo, Jared. Something every omega should have during their heats, but I'm guessing the asshole who had you before didn't give you one.”
Jared lay back down and shook his head. “No. He fucked me like once a day and the rest of the time...”
If Jensen could, he'd go find the bastard and shove said knotting dildo up his unprepped ass.
“Don't worry, sweety, I'm gonna take good care of you.”
“Now?” Jared asked and wiggled his ass.
Jensen dick was still half-hard and when he moved his hip, he could feel it filling once more.
Jared just smelled too good, felt too good around him.
“Yeah, now,” he said, before circling his hips and fucking into Jared slow and steady. They would be here a while.
Jared had forgotten how much it hurt. How out of control he was. How single-mindedly his body focused on one thing, and one thing only: his aching and empty hole.
It was the evening of the second day and Jensen was in the shower. So far, his alpha had practically been a saint, basically fucking Jared the whole day, staying knotted to him forever and sometimes not even pulling out before he fucked him again.
When night fell, and they had both been exhausted, but Jared's body was still thrumming with arousal. Jensen had put the dildo inside of him, and while it didn't feel as good as Jensen's dick, didn't even come close in fact, it did make it possible for him to sleep peacefully for most of the night.
But the worst was still to come. It was like the first two days his body was preparing, revving itself up for the peak that was the third day. The day he wouldn't be able to think straight at all. He could already feel it, the crawling feeling under his skin, like a colony of ants moving in his body.
Only they were fire ants, leaving a painful fiery trail wherever they went, until Jared's whole body was burning, the fire eating him up, until there was only the terrible feeling of nothingness and emptiness left – and then another flame would lick down his body and the cycle would start all over again.
Jensen's scent when he came out of the shower was like the promise of rain on a sweltering summer day, but Jared was too caught up in the haze to move.
He felt Jensen come closer, felt his soothing presence, but then his instincts kicked in and his hole started leaking slick like never before, and the pain in his abdomen became almost unbearable.
“Shh, it's okay, sweety, I'm here.”
Jensen's voice was soothing in his ear, but it wasn't until his alpha pushed inside, so deep inside, that the pain intensified. It curled in deeper in his belly, a tearing sensation and Jared knew he needed more, just – more.
He clawed at Jensen, needing the alpha to come closer, and when Jensen's mouth pressed on his, he bit and sucked on his alpha's lip, closer, closer, closer like a mantra spinning in his head.
Finally he felt more pressure, and then his alpha shoved his knot inside and the tight ball of agony in his belly expanded, exploded and washed his body in soothing warmth, just when Jensen came inside of him.
Coolness finally seeped through Jared, basking his body in calm while the last tremors of his release ran through his body.
He was distantly aware of Jensen jostling them around until he was lying half atop his alpha, his nose buried in his hair and breathing in his soothing scent.
Jared enjoyed this moment of reprieve, where for one short moment his body worked on absorbing his alpha's come until the whole process would start again.
He'd only been in heat once before his first alpha had impregnated him, but his mom had told him all about it. And she'd told him how she would get him herbs to suppress the extreme reactions, the unnatural reactions - if it would ever come to that or maybe she'd protected him enough. Jared wasn't sure what that meant, but he'd had hope back then.
He knew it was stupid, there was no hope left. He was almost certainly already pregnant, if not, he'd be by the end of the day and then he'd bring another life into this ugly world.
Only this time the child would stay with him.
Jared felt his alpha's heart beat under him, felt his chest rise with every breath and wondered if there was at least hope for their children.
But then the ants started again and he stopped thinking. He tried to flee into the safety of Jensen’s scent and touch, but he knew it'd be in vain. The third day of the heat was only agony.
Jared was right of course. As soon as his heat abated, Jensen had him take a pregnancy test. When the stick turned blue – and wasn't it great how far technology had come, being able to determine pregnancy just after a few days of conception – Jensen was overjoyed.
Jared wasn't. But since his alpha was his usual oblivious self, Jared managed to hide his lack of enthusiasm pretty well.
Jensen immediately made an appointment with Dr. Beaver, but this early on there wasn't much he could do except draw some blood and prescribe Jared some vitamins for the baby.
That evening Jared put his hand consciously on his stomach for the first time in a long time.
He was still flat, he wouldn't show for another two or three months, but he knew there was something there, and this time – this time he would be there for it. He would feed it and clothe it and wash it and maybe even help raise it.
Maybe he would get to cuddle it and sing it to sleep – not that Jared could sing, but he didn't care about that. He would be able to be there for this child, comfort it when it was sick or sad or hurt, celebrate birthdays and successes.
He would be a part of the child's life. Maybe he'd even be an influence and he could try to open its eyes to the world they were living in.
Unless, of course, the child turned out omega. Then it wouldn't need an eye-opener, but a miracle.
Jared hadn't heard Jensen come in, but his alpha stepped behind him and drew him against his chest.
Jared was taller than Jensen now, only by an inch or so, but it didn't look like he was done growing yet. Jensen didn't seem to care though.
“You don't have to be scared, sweety. You'll raise this child with me.”
Jared leaned back into his alpha's arms, even though there was no comfort to be had.
“What if it's an omega?”
Jensen kissed his naked shoulder. “Then we'll still raise it and when it's old enough I'll sell it to a nice and caring family. Maybe we'll even find one of those hippy, omega-loving couples.”
Jared closed his eyes, but he didn't know if it was because of his anger or the sadness.
There was no change, no end, no hope. Things would always stay exactly the same.
Jared didn't know where the quiet acceptance came from. But he stopped talking back to Jensen so much.
It wasn’t that he was still living in a fog, the heat and the pregnancy had pulled him out of it with a jolt, but it was still different.
He was floating along, doing things that meant nothing to him, sharing his bed and his life with a man that claimed to care for him, but didn't even know who Jared really was.
It didn't get easier with Jensen being in a good mood all the time. His alpha's smile was contagious, and the more the pregnancy progressed, the looser he got around Jared, disregarding the few rules still standing in their house and seeking out conversations with Jared more and more.
Slowly, but surely, Jensen was wearing him down.
Jared was almost glad for the moments Jensen said or did something in true alpha fashion, and Jared was reminded of his situation and his standing once again.
No matter how nice Jensen was, he was still an alpha treating Jared like an omega.
The pregnancy went much like his first. He didn't experience morning sickness, or any other side-effects.
The mark for the three month check-up came faster than expected. Jared was showing just a little bit, but at that doctor's exam they would be able to tell if it was a male or a female baby. Which meant Dr. Beaver would be able to tell if it was an alpha or a male omega, or not. And this time Jared couldn't look away and not know.
He wasn't aware how hard he was clutching Jensen's hand during the ultrasound until it started to hurt.
Dr. Beaver moved the ultrasound stick through the cold jelly on his stomach, pressing this way, then that way.
“Everything okay, Jim?” Jensen asked and the other alpha nodded.
“Oh, yeah, sure. This one is just a bit shy. Probably a cute little beta girl, and – no wait. It's an alpha!”
Jared stared at the screen, trying to make sense of the grainy ultrasound picture.
“An alpha? Really?”
Dr. Beaver chuckled and clapped Jensen on the shoulder. “Congrats. Looks like you have a really good breeder here.”
Jared ignored the comment and focused on the fact that his baby was an alpha. He wouldn't have to give it away, it wouldn't become a slave. It would be born into a terrible world, but at the top of the food chain, it would have a shot at a happy, self-determined life.
He felt Jensen stroke over his hair, whisper praises into his ear, but it didn't really matter.
When they were at home, Jared faced the mirror again and put his hand on his tiny bump.
Jared was in much better spirits during his second pregnancy, probably because he knew he would be able to keep the child. Jensen still felt a pang of guilt whenever he thought about Jared's first child.
His omega's difference, his superiority to all the other members of his gender, all those things were usually good things, but not this emotional involvement.
But maybe it would also be good for the child if Jared became emotionally attached. Jensen knew that being a single parent was okay, but it was still hard and he wanted his kids to have the best possible life. And he had no doubt that Jared would help with that, especially now that he was older.
Jared had turned eighteen a couple of weeks ago, and he was finally maturing in a way that omegas did when they reached adulthood. There was a reason the government strongly discouraged breeding omegas before they were sixteen and the recommended age for breeding was actually eighteen.
Of course, Jared's ass of an alpha hadn't given a shit about that, but Jensen did and he was happy to see Jared settle into his role, getting calmer and more responsible.
There were times he missed his omega's playfulness, how he would curl himself into Jensen and into his touch, how expressive he was during sex.
Although that actually had come back. For a while after Jared had delivered his first child, he'd been rather quiet and passive during sex, but now he was his old self.
He was vocal again, downright pushy about what he wanted and Jensen loved every second of it.
Really, Jensen thought when Jared served him a delicious stake for dinner, only to watch him hungrily during the whole meal and then drag him over to the couch as soon as he had cleared his plate, only to pull their pants down and ride him on the couch, Jensen's life was great.
The pregnancy progressed perfectly; the baby was developing beautifully and Jared experienced no discomforts.
He got a bit grumpy around month eight, when his belly was big and his feet swelled up during the evenings, so Jensen went back to foot rubs and massages. But really, when Jared became putty under his hands, a purring horny mess of long limbs and a beautiful belly swollen with Jensen’s child – his life was really fucking perfect.
Jensen did panic a bit when he suddenly realized he hadn't done any of the baby shopping and when he went into the store for the first time, he was so overwhelmed he went straight back home.
“You were educated in childcare, right?” he asked Jared as soon as he entered the kitchen.
Jared looked up from the dinner he was cooking and nodded. “Yeah, why?”
Jensen just dragged him off to the couch, and took the laptop with him. “We need things for the baby and you have to help me figure out which ones, because I have no fucking clue.”
Jared did roll his eyes, but there was also a smile tugging at his lips, and with a heavy sigh he sat down next to Jensen.
“Do your feet hurt again?”
Jared bit his lips but nodded. “Yeah, today's bad.”
So Jensen grabbed Jared's feet and massaged them while Jared navigated the minefield of baby care items and ordered everything they would need.
Dinner burned, but Jensen didn't care. There was a reason pizza delivery existed.
Jared went into labor on a warm morning in May. Jensen was still lying in bed – last night he'd been out with Chris, and it had gotten late – when Jared shook his shoulder.
“Go away, Jared, 'm still tired.”
There was a snort and then Jared pulled his covers off. “Get your lazy ass out of bed, my contractions are eight minutes apart.”
“What?” Jensen shot up, not minding his slightly pounding head.
Jared was standing there, already dressed and glaring at him. “Contractions. Eight minutes. Unless you want me to have the baby here, we need to go now.”
Jensen had never gotten dressed so fast in his life. Jared was in labor. With his baby. Only a few hours and he would hold his son in his arms.
He tried to drive carefully and slowly, but when Jared groaned with a strong contraction, he sped up.
At Jim's clinic, they promised to keep him updated, but Jensen wanted to go inside with Jared. He wanted to see his son being born.
It was different than he expected. The miracle of life was a slow, unspectacular, painful process.
Jared walked around for a while, before he lay down and had to push. He was clearly in pain, muscles straining and his teeth digging into his lip until it was bleeding.
Jensen bent forward and took Jared's hand. “It's okay sweety, just take my hand.”
Jim exchanged a weird look with his nurse, but Jensen couldn't concentrate on them, because Jared was crushing his hand in his.
The metallic smell of blood filled the room when the Jim cut the skin covering the birth canal and then Jared really started to scream.
Jensen couldn't take it.
“Can’t you give him something for the pain?”
“I gave him a light anesthetic when I made the incision. All additional pain killers aren’t covered by your insurance, but if you want...”
“Yes, I want. I won't have him screaming himself hoarse.”
Jim raised his hands placatingly. “Sure. But Jensen, I have seen a lot of omegas giving birth and they yell, even though their pain level isn't high. They just can't deal with the stress too well.”
“I'll give you stress,” Jared ground out between clenched teeth before he let out another shout with the next contraction.
“Jim, I don't give a fuck. Give him something now!”
“Alright,” Jim said and gave the nurse a sign, but she took a closer look at Jared.
“I don't think that's a good idea,” she said. “It's too late for an epidural and if we numb the area around the incision further, the birth could take longer, which isn't good for the baby. He'll just have to tough it out.”
Jim gave Jensen a look that said, sorry, nothing I can do. “Don't worry though, it won't take much longer, your pet will be fine.”
“He's not-” Jensen started to say, but he was interrupted by Jared crying out once more and then the nurse exclaimed: “I can see the head!”
For a few moments, things were hectic, instructions for Jared to push harder and then suddenly, Jensen's son was there, a tiny red bundle, screaming angrily at the world.
Jim picked him up and carried him over to a small examining table. He did a lot of doctory things Jensen didn't understand, but he only had eyes for the baby.
He was a bit disappointed that it looked just as ugly and wrinkled as every other newborn did, but when it opened its big eyes and looked around, little arms moving slightly, he stepped forward and took the little guy's hand.
Jim smiled up at him. “He's completely healthy, a perfect little baby alpha. Here.”
He wrapped the baby in a soft blanket and held him out to Jensen.
When Jensen stretched out his hands, he'd never been so scared in all his life. What if he hurt him or dropped him or-
“Jensen, relax,” Jim said. “You'll be fine. Nurse Linda will get the bottle ready and then your omega can start feeding him, the little guy will must be hungry.”
Jared. Jensen looked over to his omega. Jared was pale and motionless, his eyes closed, still lying on the delivery bed.
The nurse gave him a soft nudge. “Up and at 'em boy, you have a baby to feed.”
Jared blinked his eyes open and looked around a bit dazed. The nurse must have cleaned him up while Jensen was admiring his son, because Jared was dressed in a new gown and already covered by a blanket.
“Everything is fine,” the nurse addressed Jensen. “Just like last time, you can take him home tomorrow. The baby will stay here for observation tonight as well, just a precaution, and then you can take both of them home tomorrow. Your omega will feed the baby while they're here, so he gets used to the duty. I'll show him how to properly hold and feed your son.”
Jensen just nodded, still a bit dazed and he looked down again at the bundle in his arms. His son, his child. Jared's child.
He didn't know where that thought came from, children never belonged to their omega parents, but Jared had been different, so maybe it would be different with this child too. Jensen thought he might like that. To share the huge responsibility that was this tiny life in his hands.
He followed the nurse when she pushed Jared's bed out of the delivery room into one of the normal rooms and when they were alone, he showed Jared the baby.
Jared looked at him and his eyes were huge and dark in his pale face.
“Your son,” he said, and his voice was still rough from all the screaming.
Jensen shook his head. He carefully shifted the little bundle so he could hold it with one arm and took Jared’s hand.
“I want it to be ours. Just like your family.”
Jared looked at him and then down at the baby. “Ours. Like, really ours? Like, I'll be his dad and not only the 'omega-parent'?”
“Well, I thought you might be more of the mommy, but yeah, I want him to be ours.”
“I'm not a girl,” Jared mumbled, but he stretched his hand out carefully and stroked the baby's chubby cheeks.
If Jensen did ever have any doubt that Jared wouldn't be able to connect with the baby, they were washed away now. There was so much tenderness and so much wonder in that small gesture, Jensen knew Jared would love their child unconditionally.
So he said, “No, you're not, but you're an omega. So you can totally be the mommy. Besides a child needs a father and a mother, so that's what you'll be.”
Jared glared at him then, and it had been a while since Jensen had seen Jared with so much defiance in his eyes. He was surprised that he'd missed it.
“You're such a traditionalist,” Jared said. “Can I hold him?”
“Yeah, sure.” Slowly, carefully, Jensen transferred their son into Jared's arms. He looked right there.
The baby instinctively searched Jared’s chest for a nipple.
“I'm sorry, buddy,” Jared whispered, “I can't feed you. But we'll get you a bottle soon.”
Nurse Linda entered right on cue and with her help, Jared was feeding the baby in no time.
“Jim wants to know what name to put on the birth certificate,” she asked Jensen.
Jensen hadn't needed long to think about a name when he'd learned it would be an alpha.
“James,” he said. “After my dad,” he told Jared as soon as the nurse had left. “My parents died a couple of years ago, so...”
Jared nodded. “Makes sense. James. Hey little Jamie. Or maybe Jem? Jemjem?”
“His name is James,” Jensen said, upholding a disapproving facade and trying not let on that he thought what an adorable picture Jared made with the baby.
“Bah, James. That name is way too big for such a tiny baby like you, isn't it. Daddy clearly has no idea what he's talking about.”
Jensen just smiled. Two years ago he didn't think he'd be ready for this so fast, but now that he had a family, he was incredibly happy.
It wasn't until Jensen was lying in bed that he remembered Jim's comment about Jared being his pet. Was it really that bad? Had Jensen turned into one of the people who coddled and pampered their omegas?
But no, Jared still did all his work, it was just, he was so much smarter than other omegas, so of course, Jensen would treat him differently.
He liked Jared. He adored his little omega as a matter of fact, especially now that he had given him such a perfect baby. And if that was treating him like a pet – well Jared deserved to be treated like that.
His bed was so warm and comfy, he didn't want to wake up. There was something tugging him to consciousness though, some noise trying to penetrate sleep's heavy fog. He tried to ignore it, but there was this knowledge at the back of his mind, pushing him towards wakefulness, telling him he needed to get up.
Jared sat up straight in bed and finally his baby's cries registered with him.
“'Bout damn time,” Jensen grumbled next to him. “He's been crying for ages.”
Jared suppressed a sigh and got up.
“It's your child too,” he mumbled on the way out of the bedroom, but his anger dissipated when he entered the nursery and saw little Jem lying in his bed, crying and looking utterly miserable.
“Hey baby.” Jared carefully picked his son up and rocked him in his arms. “You must be hungry, right? Don't worry, we’re gonna get you something to eat right now, okay? Sorry that I didn't wake up earlier.”
Jared pressed a kiss to the soft fuzz on Jem's head and made his way to the kitchen to prepare a bottle.
Being a parent was exhilarating and terrifying all at once. There was this tiny life that was utterly dependent on him. Oh, sure, Jensen was around as well, but Jared never had any illusions that he would be their baby's main caretaker.
Their baby. Jensen had made good on their promise of raising the baby together.
Jared still slept in Jensen's bed and when Jem cried, both of them woke up. Of course, it was always Jared who got up and fed him and then calmed him back to sleep, but still. Jensen woke up almost every time Jared did and it gave him a certain level of understanding when Jared took a nap sometime during the day when Jem happened to be sleeping too.
When Jem got sick for the first time – just thrush, nothing really bad, but Jared was still utterly terrified – he didn't get any sleep at all. Jem refused to drink more than two sips from his bottle at a time, so he was constantly hungry and crying, but because sucking hurt, he was also crying during feeding. Jared stayed up pretty much the whole night, alternately trying to soothe him back to sleep or get him to drink something.
That in turn made him useless during the day and his exhaustion grew. Two days in, Jared woke up to an empty bed. A disoriented look at the clock told him it was already ten AM. He scrambled out of bed as fast as he could, but one look into Jem's nursery revealed it was empty. He took the stairs two at a time, but downstairs it was quiet. He ran back up to Jensen's study, which was empty as well.
Jared could feel himself starting to panic. Where was his baby? Where was Jensen? Oh god, what if something had happened and Jensen had taken Jem to the doctor, or worse, the hospital?
Jared was a terrible parent, his baby was sick and he just slept, and-
Downstairs again, he was ripped out of his growing panic by the open veranda door. He practically sprinted across the living-room, almost falling over his feet when he ran outside.
When he saw Jensen lying on a lounge chair in the garden, he slightly relaxed. Jensen loved their son, surely he wouldn't be this relaxed if something had happened to Jem. But where was he?
Jensen was reading the newspaper on his tablet and when he shifted his arms, Jared finally got a look of his son. He was sleeping peacefully on Jensen’s belly.
Relief flooded Jared and he almost wanted to break out in hysterical laughter. Jem was fine. Jensen had just taken care of him and let Jared sleep.
Jensen had let Jared sleep. Jared had neglected his duties, had neglected their baby. Worry slowly spread through his stomach. It had been a while now that he'd been afraid Jensen would punish him, hadn't thought he would do it ever again, not unless he did something truly outrageous, but this was a new situation, entirely without precedent.
He walked over to them carefully, and despite the worry he couldn't help but smile. They made such a cute picture, Jensen in his boxers, a ratty tee under his old striped bathrobe, and little Jem lying sprawled out on his father's chest, drooling slightly on his shirt.
Jensen looked over to him and gave him a soft smile. Not mad then.
“Morning sweety. You sleep well?”
“Yeah, I did. Why didn't you wake me, though? I should have-” Jared gesticulated in Jem's direction, but Jensen just shook his head.
“First of all, you were dead to the world, didn't even hear the alarm. Secondly, you're exhausted, you need to sleep. Besides, it's a slow day, I can spend some quality time with my son.”
Jared walked over to them and looked down at Jem, finally sleeping peacefully. “I cant believe you got him to sleep like that.”
Jensen shrugged his shoulders. “Wasn't easy, we had to do the whole walking-through-the-house-thing twice and I had to sing the entire time. He didn't really like it until I got to the Stones.”
Jensen smiled indulgently at him. “The Rolling Stones. They're a band.”
Jared swallowed down his acid reply and decided not to ask which song Jensen had sung. Since omegas were on the same level as animals, no one considered them to have any appreciation for music or any kind of art form really. Since Jensen had taken care of their son and let him sleep, Jared decided not to shock him today with his extensive knowledge of rock music. Instead he just asked what Jensen wanted for lunch.
Jem's thrush only got marginally better, and two days later Jared reached the end of his rope. He hadn’t been sleeping more than three hours a night, and Jem's naptime during the day was too short to catch up. Jensen was not really any help at all, he blatantly refused to get up during the night and only occasionally got up before Jared did to take care of Jem.
Fatigue made Jared slow and he got behind on all his chores. The laundry was piling up, he hadn't vacuumed in days and the nursery looked as if a bomb had gone off in there. The fridge was full, but nothing was prepared. Whatever Jared was going to cook, he would have to prepare it from scratch. Jem was in one of his crying moods, only to be calmed down when he was being carried around.
On his second round with Jem through the living room, Jared caught sight of the empty tumbler Jensen had used two days ago, when he'd had a glass of whiskey with his late night shows.
It was such a small thing, but it made Jared see red. Jensen knew how exhausted he was, and he couldn't even be bothered to carry his fucking glass into the kitchen.
Jared turned towards the stairs, walking with quick steps, not wanting to lose his steam. He knocked on the door of Jensen’s study, but didn't bother to wait for permission to enter.
Jensen looked up from his desk with a surprised expression, eying Jared and their crying son with worry.
“Everything okay? Has it gotten worse? Should we-”
Jared cut Jensen off by putting Jem carefully but firmly into his arms.
“He won't stop crying when I put him down and I have to cook. Actually I also have to clean and do the laundry and a million other things I don't get around to doing with a constantly crying baby. You're the baby whisperer who can sing him to sleep? Well then get to it. You wanted to be a father, so act like one.”
Jared allowed himself one glorious second of watching Jensen’s stunned face before he turned around and walked out of the study. He closed the door behind him and then leaned against it, holding his breath.
He was pretty sure Jensen wouldn't hurt him, but still.
It was quiet for a moment, both his alpha and his son apparently shocked into silence and then Jem started to cry again. For a heartbeat it was all Jared could here, and then Jensen’s voice filtered soft and sure through the door.
“I saw her today at the reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she would meet her connection
At her feet was her footloose man
No, you can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you find
You get what you need”
For a moment Jared couldn't move. He knew Jensen had a beautiful voice, but he'd had no idea, he could sing. He considered staying, but he was still so angry at Jensen, he had no desire to be pulled in by the sound of his voice. So he went downstairs to deal with the laundry.
His life continued. He couldn't remember how he'd dealt with the isolation before Jem. The baby filled his life in such a way, he couldn't imagine a world without him anymore. He became the only constant presence next to Jensen in Jared's otherwise solitary life, and he was the only one untainted. Despite the circumstances of Jem's conception, Jared loved his son unconditionally, without that bitter taste that always accompanied Jensen’s presence.
Apart from Jensen his only contact with other humans continued was the omega who delivered their food once a week.
She wasn’t like Mike, the delivery guy he'd known at his last alpha's. It took Jared several weeks to even find out her name, because when it came to deliveries she was all business. She finally told him it was Amanda and over the course of several weeks, Jared managed to form a tentative friendship with her.
It turned out that Amanda had given birth to eleven children during her fertile years, and her owners had been kind enough to sell her to a delivery company instead of a brothel after she couldn’t get pregnant anymore. She wasn’t bitter or angry, she was resigned to this life and it didn't bother her. There was a natural order to things and she accepted her part in it.
So Jared kept the conversation light and about childcare. Amanda was a great source of information and provided him with some invaluable tips that were nowhere to be found in any of the educational videos. Her idea to prepare Jem's bottle in a thermos so he didn't have to make it at three o'clock in the night actually saved him a lot of hassle. Jensen had been skeptical in the beginning, but when Jared had told him that he wasn't the one to heat up a bottle in the middle of the night, he had conceded and just gone out to buy the best thermos available.
The only times Jared left the house since coming to live with Jensen had been to go to Doctor Beaver. And he was glad for it, going out alone for an omega was dangerous, even if he wore a collar.
It changed when Jem was old enough to be taken for walks, because with Jem, he would be safe. It was the greatest possible crime to hurt a child, and under that law also fell the hurting of his omega-guardian.
It didn't mean Jared wasn’t sweating bullets and warily looking around the whole time he finally went outside, pushing Jem around in a stroller. He carefully crossed the few streets it took him to get to a nearby park, where he spent two hours just walking around.
He couldn’t remember the last time he'd done this, been outside, alone, and he soaked it up. Jem was asleep for most of the time and Jared just walked along the paths, under trees and around a little pond. He avoided getting close to other people, still wasn't sure how he could handle them outside of the safety of Jensen's house.
When someone tapped him on the shoulder, he almost had a heart attack.
He swirled around and came face to face with two omegas. They were a little bit older than he was, but still in their fertile phase. They were both pregnant, the tiny blond girl with a huge belly, and the slightly taller blond girl with only a small bump. Two strollers were parked next to them, and they were smiling brightly at Jared.
“Hey,” the shorter one said. “I'm Alona and this is Katie. Welcome to the park!”
“Can you talk to us?” the other one, Katie, asked. “It's okay if you're not allowed, we thought we'd introduce ourselves just in case.”
Alona nodded and both girls looked at him expectantly.
Jared had no idea what Jensen would say about what he was allowed to do in the park or not, and frankly Jared didn't give a damn. These two omegas wanted to talk to him, maybe even become friends, and Jared couldn't even remember ever really having friends.
So he smiled back at them. “No, that's okay. I'm Jared.”
Talking to Alona and Katie opened up a whole new world. Jared went to the park almost every day – Jensen approved, he had to work a lot and fresh air was good for the baby – and Katie and Alona were there every time.
They had relatively nice families it turned out, so they were generally happy with their life. Jared didn’t ask them what would happen in a couple of years when their kids were grown up and they would be nothing more than servants.
So they talked about baby formula, sleeping habits and the consistency of poop. They swapped recipes for food and discussed the most efficient cleaning methods.
Intellectually, Jared had to throw up internally every time, but emotionally he couldn't help but enjoy their time together, just talking to a human being that wasn't looking down on him.
There were other people at the park as well, alphas and betas who came to play with their kids, but apart from occasionally cooing at their children, they ignored the omegas.
The other omegas who came irregularly to the park, the girls avoided. When Jared asked why, they shared a heavy look.
“They're not good omegas,” Katie finally said.
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” Alona started slowly. “They get punished a lot. Because they're bad. Alpha and Beta don't want me to talk to them.”
Katie nodded. “It could rub off on us, and we’re such good omegas, our alphas and betas are so proud of us.”
“But what if they're not bad, what if they only have cruel masters?” Jared thought back to his old alpha and couldn’t suppress a shudder. He couldn't be the only one like that out there.
Alona and Katie shared a look again, this time one of pity.
“I know it's hard, Jared,” Katie said, “but there are some of us who are just not good omegas. Alphas and betas are never cruel, they're always just in their punishments. I mean, no one's perfect, I'm sure you have been punished at some time by your alpha.”
Jared thought back to when Jensen had tied him up in the attic and nodded grimly. He still hadn't forgiven the bastard for that one.
Alona patted his arm sympathetically. “I'm sorry Jared. But it happens to the best of us.”
She nodded solemnly. “Just last week I burned dinner. The baby was throwing up and I forgot to take the pot off the oven. I'm such a scatterbrain sometime. But alpha and beta were so kind when they punished me. They only gave me twenty strokes and afterwards told me that usually I do so well, I shouldn't take it too hard, and if I would focus more, I could do so much better.”
Jared was stunned into silence. They actually believed they deserved to be punished.
“I'm sorry, I forgot I need to get back.” He scrambled to his feet without looking them in the eyes.
“Oh, of course Jared, hurry!” Katie called after him when he was already moving, pushing Jem's stroller along the path as fast as he could without breaking out in a run.
When he got home he was still shaking. Jensen was nowhere to be seen. Jem started crying, he apparently didn't like being home again, and Jared picked him up and carried him out into the garden. He continued to walk up and down, slowly rocking Jem in his arms.
His crying slowly died down, but Jared's thoughts were still with Alona and Katie. No wonder the system worked so perfectly if they managed to brainwash omegas like that. For a brief moment Jared considered talking to them about it, but then he thought about what might happen if they would tell their alphas and betas, and they in turn would contact Jensen about his unruly omega.
Yeah, not a good idea.
And even though he couldn't look at them without fury coiling in his belly, angry at them and the whole system, he still went back to the park. After he'd gotten used to the company, it was hard to go back to being on his own with Jensen.
Jared's body went back to its pre-pregnancy form in no time. All the work in the house and in the garden, and his long walks in the park kept him pretty fit and he seemed to have a disposition for not putting on weight no matter how much he ate.
Jensen's eyes started to follow him around again and pretty soon the alpha went back to demanding sex regularly. It wasn’t that Jared didn’t like it, it was just to the contrary. No matter how much Jared wanted to hate Jensen, he was still so considerate in their bedroom, always taking care of Jared and trying to make him feel good.
So for that short time, Jared decided not to care. He would let Jensen touch him, fuck him and knot him, worship him really, and he would enjoy it. It was the only time Jared ever thought they were seeing eye to eye, because when Jared touched Jensen back, made him fall apart with his hands and his mouth, he felt like an equal.
And it was stupid, he knew it was, but he needed to take his victories where he could, otherwise he'd go crazy.
But the traces of pregnancy disappearing from his body also meant something else: Jared would go into heat again, it could in fact be as soon as three months after giving birth.
Jared had no desire to have another child so soon after Jem, but when he tried to talk to Jensen about it, he was met with refusal and no understanding.
“Jared, you know that the government expects a certain ratio,” his alpha said. As if that was the only reason.
Jared wasn't stupid though, he knew the laws. “The government can’t force an alpha to father more children than he wants to and they have no grounds to take the omega away if he has given birth to more than three children in the first eight years. I already have – had two, which means we need only one more, and we have five years for that. I don't understand why I can't have a break.”
Jared didn’t want to have more children at all, because with every baby, the chances of it being an omega were rising, and he could just not deal with that.
Jensen just shook his head though. “Jared, you don't really want to go through heat without sex, do you? Besides, I don’t think I'll be able to stay away from you, and even if I could, I don’t want to. Sweety, you love Jem, you'll love the other babies as well. So end of discussion.”
“No. There are ways to dampen a heat, make it bearable.”
When Jensen's eyes narrowed in anger, Jared knew he had made a mistake. Shit.
“I can't believe you're even suggesting this! First off, everybody knows that's impossible and it's also highly dangerous if you try! I will not let you hurt yourself just because you think you need a couple of months more. Jared, you're young and healthy, you'll have no trouble handling another pregnancy!”
Jem chose that exact moment to wake up from his nap and started to cry. Jared went over to his son and after sniffing at his diapers, he made his way through the living room and out into the hallway.
“It's not about me being able to handle it, it's about me not wanting to handle it. How about that?” he called out to Jensen before climbing the stairs.
Jensen followed him after a short break, but Jared ignored him when he came into the nursery in favor of concentrating on changing Jem's diapers. Not that he needed to concentrate, by now he could change diapers in his sleep, but he had no desire to look at Jensen.
“I see no reason why you wouldn't want another baby. Besides, this is not really your choice to make.”
Jared clenched his fists before relaxing them and reaching for the powder. “You have three seconds to get out of here before I throw this diaper at you.”
“Jared-” Jensen started in his lecture voice, but Jared cut him off.
“No. You said you would treat me different, you'd treat me better, but you still decide what happens to my body. So you know what? Screw you and your promises. We're raising Jem together?”
Jared closed the new diaper and wrestled a squirming Jem into his onesie. “You're doing nothing to raise your son. You just cuddle him for a bit, and as soon as you actually have to do something, you hand him off to me. You don't feed him, you don’t change his diapers, nothing. And those aren't 'chores', they're actually part of raising a child. Our child.”
He turned around to glare at Jensen who was once again stunned into speechlessness. Jared had almost forgotten how good it felt to blow of some steam. He hadn't been aware how much Jensen not helping out had really bugged him.
“If you'll excuse me, our son is hungry now, so I will go and feed him.”
Jensen looked like he wanted to say something, but Jared just walked past him. Jensen didn't follow them and Jared went into the kitchen.
He didn't know what to think when he was preparing Jem's bottle. Yelling at Jensen had felt so good, but he feared it would once again not change a thing. He knew he was right, but Jensen was so stubborn, so unable to see past anything he'd been taught – but really how would he ever believe Jared, a lowly omega, over anything he had known to be true for his whole life.
For a moment his eyes burned, but he furiously blinked any possible tears away. He would not cry. His life was what it was and he finally had to stop hoping that it could ever change. No matter what Jensen said, it would never change how he truly thought about Jared.
As if he could sense his mood, Jem started crying again and Jared cuddled him in close, trying to find comfort in his sweet baby smell.
Dinner that night was a tense affair. Jensen just shot him a terse look saying, “I expect you never to speak to me like that again, understood?” and Jared nodded and mumbled an apology.
That night, for the first time in weeks, Jensen didn't touch him. Jared was torn between being glad and being unhappy, and he hated himself for it. He hadn't been aware how much he enjoyed Jensen’s loving embrace and how much it would affect him when Jensen turned his back on him, lying next to him in icy silence.
Jared was unable to fall asleep, and he was actually relieved when Jem started crying and he had an excuse to leave the bed. He took his time and sat in his son's nursery long after he’d fallen asleep. When he went back to bed, Jensen was asleep and Jared carefully climbed into bed, pressing up against his side. Jensen shuffled in his sleep and flung an arm around his waist before stilling again.
Jared would hate himself even more except he fell asleep almost immediately.
The next morning was still tense and the whole atmosphere in the house was thick enough to cut it with a knife. Jem was aggravated the whole time, not wanting to lie down to nap. Jared tried everything to get him to go to sleep, until Jensen came in, took Jem out of his arms and started singing again.
It still took Jem a long time to calm down, but when he did, Jensen changed from singing to softly talking to his son.
“You're in a bad mood, aren't you buddy? You're sensing that mommy is angry? Is that's what's making you mad?”
Jared crossed his arms over his chest. Of course it would be his fault that Jem was crying.
“I was too, you know,” Jensen continued. “Angry at mommy, I mean. He can be really stubborn sometimes. But sometimes he's also right.”
Jared couldn't believe what he was hearing.
“I haven't been a good daddy to you and I'm sorry.”
Jem blinked up at his father and smacked his lips.
“I should spend more time with you and take care of you, the whole you, even your stinky diapers. So from now on, I will do that. And maybe then mommy will stop being pissed at me, and we can all be happy again.”
Jared was frozen in place. He didn't know what was more astounding, Jensen wanting to change dirty diapers or Jensen kind of apologizing to him. It even sounded as if Jensen's happiness was dependent on Jared's mood and that just was not possible at all.
“Speaking of stinky diapers...” Jared could hear the disdain in Jensen's tone, but instead of handing the baby over like he'd done it a thousand times before, his alpha just sighed and left the kitchen.
“Just no peeing on me, okay buddy?” was the last thing Jared heard before Jensen disappeared up the stairs.
Afterward it was sort of like a truce. It was only a small victory, but if Jared thought back, his entire time with Jensen had been a series of small victories.
The first one had been getting hot water – that he didn’t even need anymore, because nowadays he used Jensen's bathroom without him even batting an eye.
Then eating at the table with Jensen every day. Jensen acknowledging his intellect and education, letting him watch TV and even read books.
And now Jensen taking care of his son in a way that Jared didn’t think any other alpha ever did (at least if he were to believe Alona and Katie, who had just stared open-mouthed when Jared told them that Jensen changed diapers and fed Jem, not even batting an eye whenever the baby spat up all over him).
Now, sometimes, for small moments, they even felt like a real family. When Jensen got up in the middle of the night to look after Jem, pressing a kiss to Jared's head and telling him to keep on sleeping. When Jared was cooking in the kitchen and Jensen came in to ask what smelled so good, and lingered until Jared had finished and helped him carry out the food. When they were lying on the couch together, Jem in bed, and Jensen just drew him in tight and stroked his head while they watched the late night shows.
But then there were those moments that would slap Jared randomly in the face.
When Jem's little hand touched his collar. When Jensen bit down possessively into his neck and said 'my omega'. When Jared went outside.
The big punch though, the one directly to the gut that knocked him out, was when his heat came four months after Jem's birth.
Jared's third heat was much worse than his second. Physically it was the same, but he was unable to take care of his baby for two full days and the first and last day of his heat, he barely even managed to feed Jem, his hands were shaking so hard with the want and the need.
Jem was also the reason Jensen had less time to fuck him, so Jared had much less reprieve from the constant agony rushing through his system.
When he woke up on the fifth day, heat gone and completely exhausted, he realized that it didn't matter, not really. All the little victories, the little conveniences, it didn't change a damn thing.
He was still an omega, still not a person. His life would never be his own.
Five days later the stick turned blue and when Jensen kissed him full of happiness, Jared kissed him back. For his children. Because no matter how Jensen treated him, how the world treated him, there were others depending on him now. Jem and the unborn baby in his belly, he loved them, unconditionally, and he would do whatever necessary to be the best possible parent.
So Jared went down to the laundry room and started sorting whites from darks, and tried not to think of his first child, the baby they had taken away before he'd even had a chance to see it. He wondered, not for the first time, what had become of it. Sometimes he was so close to just asking Jensen, but then he couldn't. It was something of his past, something connected to his first alpha, and just like the memories of him, he tried to lock them away during the hours of the day.
He couldn't do anything about them at night, and even though his nightmares had become more infrequent – most nights it seemed he was just too exhausted to dream – they were still there. Sometimes Jensen would do something, say something, that would just throw Jared back in a situation that had happened with his old alpha, and for a moment Jared would be terrified. The first few times it had happened, Jensen had been oblivious, but he'd started to catch on to Jared's flashbacks whenever they occurred, and he'd just gather Jared into his arms, whispering soothing nothings into his ear and petting him until the memory disappeared again.
It was just two days ago when Jared brought Jensen his lunch and his alpha took a bite of the sandwich and said off-handedly, “That could be warmer.”
Jared had flinched, because in his old household that had been the moment when the dish had come flying at his head. Jensen must have seen, because he'd been up in a flash, drawing Jared into his arms.
“Tell me. What are you thinking about?”
Jared had shrugged, tried to play it down. “They threw the dishes at me whenever something wasn’t to their satisfaction. It wasn't really a big deal.”
And it wasn't. The strokes that would be added to his daily punishment, those were the big deal.
Jensen's eyes still hardened, and his hand was impossibly gentle when he stroked over Jared's cheek.
“I'm so sorry, sweety.”
Jared had nodded and for a short moment, he'd leaned in.
Despite everything that had happened between them, Jensen had turned into Jared's safe haven, taking the darkness and the fears away, providing the comfort of a warm body and soothing hands whenever he needed it. And Jared could see his pain reflected in Jensen's eyes, could see the hatred Jensen had for his old alpha – because Jensen cared. He really, truly cared for Jared. He might still think him inferior, a creature ruled by biology and instinct, only accepting the truth about Jared when he hit him in the face with it, but he nevertheless cared.
Like he would care about a beloved pet.
Jared snorted and turned on the washer. He really needed to stop thinking about these things. They were things that would never change. And Jensen caring about Jared was nice, because it meant he treated Jared better. And that was it, there was nothing more to it. Jensen caring for him mattered because it meant Jared wasn't getting punished, it meant he was getting warm water and books to read, it meant he got comfort, and cuddles, and orgasms. It meant he could go outside on his own and it meant his son would be allowed to call him a parent – even though Jensen still insisted on him being the mommy. If that was the concession he had to make, then so be it.
He left the slightly humid and suddenly stifling air of the laundry room behind and fully planned to go to the kitchen to plan lunch, when a wave of nausea hit him. He managed to reach the downstairs guest bathroom just in time to throw up the contents of his breakfast into the sink.
When he was done rinsing his mouth and looked up, Jensen was standing in the doorway, looking at him with his concerned creases around the eyes.
“Sweety, are you getting sick?”
Jared shook his head. “I don't think so. My luck with easy pregnancies probably just ran out. No big deal.”
Jensen nodded. “Okay. Are you starting lunch? Because then I'll go take Jem up with me.”
Jared went into the kitchen and ignored his still fluttering stomach. He also ignored that it was way too early for normal pregnancy nausea right now. No sense in worrying about something he couldn't change anyway.
He put a hand on his lower belly. “As long as you're okay, I'll be okay. Just try not to be an omega. I don’t know if your daddy has come far enough for that.”
Additional warnings for this chapter: Possibly triggery content due to complications that can occur during a pregnancy and their potential consequences. If you're not sure what to expect and want to know beforehand, feel free to ask.
Jensen woke up to the sounds of Jared puking his guts out. Again. Jared was only four weeks along and yet he was throwing up every morning. When they'd gone to the doctor last week to confirm Jared's pregnancy and he had mentioned it, Dr. Beaver had just shrugged.
“Sooner or later, every omega experiences pregnancy troubles. Don’t let your omega have breakfast, the nausea usually subsides after a couple of hours of being awake and a few cups of soothing tea, maybe green tea or camomile.”
So Jensen had bought camomile and green tea, and Jared drank it with limited results. They helped calm Jared's stomach in the course of the morning, but it didn't change the fact that the first thing his omega did in the morning was run for the toilet.
On cue, Jem started crying in the nursery and with a sigh Jensen got out of bed. It wasn't even seven AM yet.
He picked his son up from his cot, but he only pressed a short kiss to his head, because Jem was smelling like a dump truck. Really, how such a small baby could produce such disgusting smelling poop, Jensen would never understand. He was still half-asleep when he changed Jem's diaper, but in the last weeks he had learned to function at least partially pre coffee. Not that he wouldn't make a beeline for his coffee machine as soon as Jem was dressed.
On his way to the stairs he passed the bathroom, and saw Jared leaning against the sink, dark circles under his eyes and tiny droplets of water clinging to the tips of his hair.
“You okay, sweety?”
Jared flinched a bit at his words, but got himself under control quickly. Nightmare night then. They had gotten rare, Jared's nightmares, and they weren't as intense as before. But sometimes Jensen would still wake up and Jared would toss and turn in bed, distraught mutterings falling from his lips. Jensen didn't wake him up anymore, there was no sense in it. It was actually much easier to just gather Jared in tight and help him calm down through physical contact.
Last night Jensen hadn't gone to bed before four AM though. He'd stayed up later than Jared and then fallen asleep on the couch, not making it to bed until he woke up in the middle of the night, giant crank in his head and some weird infomercial on TV.
Jared had been restless in his sleep, but he had calmed down as soon as Jensen had put an arm around his waist. There was no way of knowing how long Jared had been plagued by whatever bad memories still invaded his dreams, but the dark circles around his eyes told their own tales.
Without waiting for what Jared had to say, Jensen stepped into the bathroom and drew Jared against his chest. He didn’t care that his omega was taller than him, over three inches now, and that his shoulders were as broad as Jensen's.
In moments like these, Jared reminded him so much of the shivering and underweight kid he had picked up at Chris's door, and he just needed to tuck him in, hold him close and make better whatever was bothering him.
Jared leaned in, careful not to squish Jem and pressed a kiss to their baby's head. Jensen was hoping for a bit of affection himself, but Jared just pulled back with a tired smile.
“I need a shower,” he said, and his voice was still rough.
“Of course. I'll go feed Jem and put on a pot of tea for you.”
Jared nodded, smile already gone from his face and turned around. He pulled his clothes off perfunctory and climbed into the shower. Despite everything, Jensen felt his dick twitch at the sight on his omega's naked ass. It was a very beautiful ass and with the nausea and a recent spike of nightmares, they hadn't had sex in over a week. They'd come close a couple of times, but Jem chose the most inopportune moments to demand food or new diapers, or just plain attention, and Jensen couldn't help but glare lovingly at his son.
“I know you love mommy and want him for yourself,” he told his son on the way downstairs, “but daddy needs some quality time as well. So tonight, we're gonna make a deal. I'm gonna sing extra long for you and you will sleep while mommy and daddy have some fun, okay?”
Jem just gurgled and waved his little arms around. Jensen sighed. He wasn't very hopeful.
There was no sex that night. Jensen had taken a late night phone call and by the time he was done, it was after midnight, and Jared was out cold. Jensen debated waking him up, but the dark circles were still there, so he just slipped into bed next to Jared and contended himself with burying his nose in Jared's hair.
There also wasn’t any morning sex because of the puking thing and no sex during the day because of work. The evening was another bust, and Jensen was getting really frustrated. He hadn't thought sex would be so important to him, but after getting used to Jared always being there, it was quite frustrating to have to forgo taking what was in front of him.
Two days later, when Jensen went down to the kitchen to get himself something to drink, he passed a sleeping Jem in his babyrocker in the living room. Jared was in the kitchen, rummaging around in some of the cupboards and when Jensen saw him down there on his knees, ass pushed out, he really had to seize the opportunity.
He just bend down to grab Jared around his waist, and Jared gave an adorable squeak.
“Relax, sweety,” he whispered into Jared's ear and his omega was already shivering. “Jem's asleep, we finally have an hour to ourselves.”
“Shit, Jensen,” Jared breathed out and pleasure tingled down Jensen’s spine. It had really been too long.
“C'mon,” he said quietly and dragged Jared off to the living room. He twisted his hand into his omega's hair and brought his mouth down to kiss him. Jared's breath puffed hotly across his face and then their lips finally connected.
It was so good, being connected that way, sharing air, Jensen couldn't suppress a low moan. Jared's breathing was fast and harsh and his heart was beating like crazy against Jensen’s chest.
Jensen impatiently tugged at Jared's shirt, needing to feel warm skin under his hands. Jared made a strangled noise in the back of his throat that made Jensen's half hard dick twitch and fill rapidly, pushing against the zipper of his jeans uncomfortably.
“Off, take these fucking clothes off!”
Jared complied immediately and when Jensen drew back to give him some room, he looked into wide dark eyes, and flushed cheeks in an otherwise pale face.
Jared continued to tug on his shirt, getting it tangled around his neck, his fingers were shaking so badly.
Jensen reached forwards to still his hands. “Jared. Hey, sweety look at me!”
Finally, Jared's eyes focused on him, really looking at him.
“What just happened?”
Jared shook his head, trying to get out of a dream or a memory – oh shit.
He took Jared’s hand, ignoring his still hard dick and dragged him down on the couch. “Was it something I did, what happened?”
Jared was still shaking his head, not in denial though. “I don't – I don't really know. I was just surprised, and for a moment, and then I was there and I couldn't get out, I don't, maybe because it’s been so long since you touched me, and I just, I-”
“Shhh, it's okay, sweety. It's okay.” Jensen drew Jared against his chest, and just like he'd done in the beginning, Jared curled himself into a small ball into Jensen’s lap.
“Why is this happening again? I haven't thought about the cage in ages.”
“Cage?” Jensen wasn’t really sure if he wanted to know if Jared was just speaking figuratively or not, but he had to ask.
Jared peaked up at him from under his lashes, looking so much younger again. “I didn't really have a room.”
Jensen had to close his eyes for a moment, the picture of Jared curled up on a cold concrete floor behind iron bars invading his mind.
“You sure you don't wanna tell me the asshole's name? I know people. Well, Chris knows people. I'm sure we could arrange something.”
Jared let out a sound that could have been a sob or a laugh. “I appreciate that.”
Before Jensen could say anything else, Jem woke up from his nap and made his signature I'm-awake-and-hungry-now crowing. Jared jumped up from the couch and wrestled his shirt back on.
“Hey baby, you hungry? Oh yeah, I know you are. Let's go get you something to eat then, alright.”
It wasn't that Jensen didn't love watching Jared with their son, because he did. It made a whole different kind of warmth spread through his chest. But still – he'd really love to spend some time with Jared alone.
So that night he didn't care that Jared was tired and already half-asleep. His omega loved to be knotted, so he wouldn’t object.
“C'mon sweety, open up for me,” Jensen said when he slid behind Jared, pushing his knee between his legs, spreading them open.
Jared hummed. “Jensen?”
“Yeah. Just need to be inside you.”
“Okay.” Jared's voice was still thick and throaty, but he pushed his ass out nevertheless.
Jensen stroked over the perfect round swell of his ass, reveled in the smoothness of the skin there. The scars had almost completely disappeared, and even though he'd love to worship his omegas ass like the miracle it was, Jensen really couldn’t wait. When he felt slick coating his hand, he lined himself up and pushed inside.
“Oh god, finally.” He pressed a kiss to Jared's shoulder blade. “Missed this so much, missed you so much.”
Jared gave a pleased sigh and waggled his ass a bit. Jensen took it as the invitation it was and languidly started to move his hips. His eyes closed on their own accord, but he couldn’t be bothered, just being inside Jared again felt so fantastic, his hot, wet channel pressing tightly around his dick, and it was good, so good, he could feel his knot already expanding, knew they would be tied together soon, so close together and-
“No!” Jared almost shouted, breathless voice loud in their quiet bedroom.
He pushed himself away from Jensen, more precisely he pulled his ass away from him, and Jensen was rudely pulled out of his pre-orgasmic bliss.
“What? What's wrong?”
“We can’t knot,” Jared said and Jensen didn't even know in which universe that would make sense.
“Of course we can, why shouldn't we?” He tried to pull Jared back again, get his dick completely into his omega's ass again, but Jared struggled against his hold. Jensen had no idea what was going on, Jared might have yelled at him before or stormed off but he had never resisted Jensen in bed, had always been beautifully pliant.
“Jensen,” Jared pressed out, voice strained and annoyed, “we can't knot, because what if Jem wakes up while we are? I'm not gonna lie here tied to you for ten minutes while our son is screaming.”
Shit. Jensen hadn't even thought of that. But he was so close...
“C'mon sweety, he won't wake up, I'm sure he won't.”
Jared just snorted. “Forget it. We can fuck, but no knotting. And don't you dare try!”
“Ugh.” Jensen let his head fall down between Jared's shoulder blades. In his frustration he bit down a bit harsher than intended and got a whack on top of his head for that, but when he pulled Jared back on his dick, he came willingly.
“Just no knotting,” he said, and Jensen grumbled out a yes.
Fucking Jared without knotting him was better than not fucking at all of course, but it still felt weird keeping his knot outside, even though Jared reached around to squeeze the base of his dick. When he came his orgasm was only half as satisfying as usual.
Since Jared refused to let Jensen knot him until Jem slept through the night and Jem apparently delighted in cockblocking his father by waking up at least two times every the night, Jensen had to content himself with blowjobs and no-knotting sex. Not that it wasn't great, it just wasn't the same. Jared showed no compassion, just rolled his eyes whenever Jensen brought it up. And really, Jensen would start getting really pissed with his omega's attitude if Jared wasn't still so miserable.
He continued his early morning bathroom rushes and about eight weeks into the pregnancy they discovered that Jared's stomach now also revolted against the scent of coffee. Since Jensen was nearing the deadline of another project and practically lived off caffeine, Jared spent more time with the toilet bowl than ever. And Jensen tried to contain the smell, he even put the fucking coffee machine into his study, but there were days Jared's nose was so sensitive that he had to throw up just from talking to Jensen after having a cup.
Jared also ate less, complaining about a constant taste of iron in his mouth that made everything taste like shit. Then chicken and garlic joined the lists of things that made Jared throw up, then meat in general and Jensen was really getting pissed at his dietary restrictions. He spent more and more time going out to dinner with Chris to get his meat fix, and he had the sneaking suspicion that Jared was actually happy to have him out of the house for a few hours.
When he asked him about it, Jared looked at him unrepentantly. “I don't have to cook elaborate meals when you're not around. It's one less thing I have to do.”
Jensen couldn't help but roll his eyes a bit himself then. “You know, I get that the throwing up is annoying, but don’t start complaining about cooking, that's not gonna kill you.”
For a moment Jared narrowed his eyes, then his nose twitched. “Did you have to eat something drenched in garlic?” he managed to press out before he rushed off to the bathroom.
Guilt hit Jensen like a punch to the gut and he went to brush his teeth. That night Jared still opted to sleep on the couch. Jensen promised himself to be more insistent at their next doctor's appointment, there had to be something that could be done against the nausea. Their twelve week appointment was coming up anyway.
Jim raised an eyebrow, but when they weighed Jared and he was about seven pounds below what he should weigh, Jim prescribed vitamin pills, anti-nausea medication and protein shakes that would help him put on weight.
Everything else, he assured Jensen, was completely fine, that was until he got to the ultrasound.
“Holy shit!” Jim stared with wide eyes at the ultrasound. The nurse joined him and there was an identical look of shock on her face.
“Oh wow,” she breathed out. “I haven't seen that in over five years.”
“What? What's wrong?” Jensen asked, trying to keep the panic out of his voice for Jared's sake, who was clutching his hand tightly.
“Wrong?” Jim asked, looking at him with a smile. “Oh, there's nothing wrong!”
Jim spun the monitor around, but Jensen had no idea what he was looking at.
“I don't know what I'm supposed to be seeing here.”
Jim fiddled with the controls and then suddenly their baby's heartbeat filled the room. “Why is it so fast?” Because that quick thump-thump thump-thump couldn't be normal, right?
“Oh my god,” Jared said, voice hoarse and breaking. “It's two.”
Jim and the nurse shot Jared a surprised look, but Jim nodded. “It's twins, Jensen. Congratulations! Do you know how rare that is? This is wonderful!”
“Twins,” Jared repeated and he let his head fall back on the cot.
The nurse shot Jared a disapproving look, lips pursed and then turned to Jensen. “Twins are such a blessing, especially in our world today. I'm so happy for you, Mr. Ackles.”
“Yeah, yeah, I'm – wow, this is just a lot, I mean two kids! I never expected that!”
Jensen was still spinning, because two kids! Jem had been challenging enough in the past weeks, but two at once? Something else occurred to him then.
“Is this the reason why Jared is having such a hard time all of a sudden?”
“Possibly,” Jim said, hesitating a bit. “The thing is, there's not a lot of data on twin pregnancies, because they're so rare. If the omega is having a harder time carrying, it’s usually a sign that one of the babies is an omega and the other one isn't. The chemical imbalance sometimes makes it more difficult in the first six months until they're fully developed. But still, it's nothing that's gonna kill him, your omega will be fine. Just give him the medication I prescribed.”
Jensen was still in a slight daze when he drove them home. Twins. Two children. Two tiny babies, coming at the same time. Crying at the same time. Needing food and diaper changes at the same time.
He barely managed to work and look after Jem, how was he supposed to deal with twins? He just had to hope Jared would feel better after giving birth, and then it might be a really good idea not to have any more kids for a while.
Jensen was so caught up in his thoughts, he only realized after dinner how quiet Jared had been. He went into the kitchen and watched how Jared did the dishes, motion mechanical and eyes somewhere far away.
And then it occurred to him what Jim had said. How likely it was that one baby would be an omega. Jared would be devastated.
Jared's head snapped around and he looked at Jensen with dead eyes. “Don't. Whatever you're going to say, just don't.”
Jensen stood there helplessly for a moment longer before he left. Because really, he had no idea what he could say. It wasn't like he was looking forward to that himself.
For the next few weeks, Jensen was sucked back into work. Jared's nausea didn't really get better, but the protein shakes helped him put on weight. And then finally he developed a bump. It almost appeared over night, one morning it was there, a tiny rounded perfect swell. Jensen could not stop touching it. Twins would be a challenge, but he loved them already, and he knew despite everything they would bring him so much joy, just like Jem did. And until anything was confirmed, he would not think of one of them as an omega.
So when he met Chris for drinks and told him the good news, he left that out. Chris was ecstatic, clapping Jensen on the shoulder.
“You’re such a stud, Jensen, who would've thought?” Chris chuckled into his beer.
Jensen wanted to be offended, but really, he was too proud for that.
They ordered their food and when the waitress had left, Chris shot him a strange look. “Since when do you not eat garlic bread with your burger?”
“Jared's still throwing up and garlic is the worst. If I come home smelling like that, he'll sleep on the couch.”
“What do you mean, so?” Jensen asked irritated.
“I mean: so? Fuck Jensen, I didn't say anything, because that kid has been through a lot before he came to you, and it seems to work out so far, but dude, are you even listening to yourself? You're not ordering your favorite appetizer because your omega might have to sleep on the couch. I mean, he should be sleeping in his own bed anyway, not in yours.” Chris was shaking his head at him disapprovingly.
“I thought you didn't like omega abuse?” Jensen tried to hide how pissed he was behind his beer glass.
“What has that to do with anything? Of course you shouldn't abuse them. But you're coddling Jared. He'll be useless in your household and with three kids, there are a lot of things that need to be done. You let him slack off now, there'll be chaos as soon as the twins arrive. And then he'll start giving you lip, stop wanting to work and you'll really have trouble, because then you'll have to go back to disciplining him.” Chris leaned forward. “What you’re doing Jensen, it's not good for him.”
Jensen stared miserably into his glass. Chris was right of course. Jared was already talking back and he was doing less work in the house, admitting openly he was relieved every time Jensen left.
“It's difficult,” he tried to defend himself. “Jared has been really sick, I couldn't knot him properly-”
“You what?” Chris voice was sharp.
Jensen felt himself starting to fidget. “Because of the baby. You can't exactly stay tied for a while, when your baby is crying.”
Chris snorted. “Dude, it's already happening. He's totally manipulating you. Of course you can knot him. No offense, but little Jem won't die from crying for five minutes if you unluckily pick that time to fuck. You're going soft, Jensen, and it'll bite you in the ass.”
Jensen watched a waitress carry a plate of garlic bread to another table. It already had.
“Excuse me sweetheart,” he stopped her on her way back. “I'd like to order something else.”
Jared gave him a pissed look when he got home, but Jensen just raised an eyebrow, and his omega got the message. Jared quietly went to bed with him and Jensen felt stupidly validated when Jared kept lying in his arms, not making a run for the bathroom.
“You're stomach is getting better,” he said into Jared's hair.
His omega stiffened in his arms. “Doesn't mean you don't stink.”
Slapping Jared on the ass was sort of a kneejerk reaction. It wasn't a hard slap, probably didn't even sting, but Jared still tensed.
“Behave,” Jensen said and he gave his voice a teasing tone, reaching up and tugging playfully at Jared’s ear. He didn't want him to think he'd ever hurt him, but he'd given Jared so much leeway, and the talking back had just become too much.
Jared stayed tense, and since his head was turned downwards, Jensen couldn't see his expression.
“Sweety?” he asked.
There was a moment of silence and then he could feel Jared’s chest expand with the deep breath he took. “Is there – I mean did something happen? Did I-?”
Jared broke off and Jensen soothingly petted his head. “I know most of it is because of the pregnancy, I know that it's giving you a hard time, and I know you're worried. So I've been giving you a lot of room, but I'm not going to stop eating what I want just because you don't like it and I'm tired of you being snappish all the time.”
And Jensen really was. Jared was supposed to be his safe haven, he was supposed to make his life easier, taking the stress away and bringing him nothing but pleasure and joy, and recently it had been anything but.
Jared didn't say anything for a while and Jensen was getting antsy. He needed Jared to understand this, needed to tell him that he was right, and that it was okay.
“Yes,” Jared said with a croaky voice. “Yes, I understand. I'm so sorry you had to put up with all of this alpha, I apologize.”
“It's okay, sweety,” Jensen told him and pressed a kiss to his head. “It's okay.”
Jensen should have fallen asleep after that, should have felt relaxed and satisfied, but somehow it still felt off. He couldn't pinpoint it until the next morning, but it suddenly occurred to him that Jared had called him 'alpha', something he hadn't done in a long time. He wasn't quite sure how he should feel about that.
If Jensen was aware of the tension in their relationship, he didn't show it. He was probably just oblivious though. When Jensen had slapped him that night, essentially scolding him like a dog, it had been like a bucket of cold water all over again.
Jared didn't even know why he was still surprised, he knew Jensen didn't think of him as a full human being, but all those small improvements in his alpha's behavior had made him forget for a while.
Stupid, Jared had once again been so stupid.
He tried to lose himself in his work and taking care of Jem, spending as much time as he could playing with his son. It was the only time that choking pressure around his neck ever seemed to really lift.
When the halftime of his pregnancy came around he felt slightly better. The nausea slowly subsided and the metallic taste disappeared from his mouth. He had about a week where he felt okay, then he encountered his new enemies.
First came the cramps. Muscles contracting to the point of painfulness in the middle of the night, pulling him out of sleep with silent screams on his lips. Usually he managed not to wake up Jensen and just stretch his leg, gripping his feet and putting pressure on the muscles, but sometimes he needed to get up, lean himself against the wall and push out the cramps.
He wasn't aware of the other enemy until the day he forgot to cook lunch. He was puttering around the house, wondering about laundry, because the machine was filled with a mix of whites and colors and Jared would never put those together, but Jensen wouldn't even touch the washing machine. He doubted Jensen had ever even been inside that tiny room.
He was pulled out of his musings when Jensen opened the door and looked at him questioningly.
“Jared, where's lunch?”
“Yes, lunch. The meal you eat at the middle of the day, that you should have made almost an hour ago?”
Jared searched his memories of the day, what he'd done and wanted to do, but there was nothing. He'd had just forgotten about lunch.
Jensen huffed out a breath and told him to make a sandwich. Jared wondered what the hell had happened and went into the kitchen.
He made Jensen's sandwich, but when he brought it up to the study, Jensen looked at him in disbelief.
“Really Jared? First you forget lunch and now you forget the tomatoes on my sandwich? And is that mustard? You know I hate mustard on my sandwich.”
Jared did know that. “I have no idea how that happened, I swear.”
Jensen just rolled his eyes.
When Jared realized he messed up diner by forgetting the salt and again when he took out the laundry, Jensen went to his computer and came back five minutes later, a sour expression on his face.
“Apparently, it's common in pregnancies to be forgetful.”
“Shit.” The universe seemed really intent on making this pregnancy a time from hell for him.
It wasn't anything he couldn't handle, he'd been worse, but the cramps were really painful and the forgetfulness was just plain annoying. Jared kept messing up recipes and sometimes he'd find himself standing in the house, no idea what he was about to do. It got really scary when one day he was in the park, he wanted to go home, and ended up at the wrong exit.
Thankfully Jem didn't mind the detour but still, being pregnant sucked.
It sucked even more when the months went on and his stomach grew. It grew faster and bigger than before. For the first time he got stretchmarks, and the back pain sat in way earlier than the last times.
He had to pee every half hour because one of his babies was always lying on his bladder and he didn't know if it was because there were two of them in there, but there was much more kicking than before. Jared was surprised his stomach wasn't black and blue.
It had occurred to him on a stormy day in winter that it wasn't only going to get cramped inside his belly, but also in their house. Currently, only the guest room was unoccupied, but with two more children they'd be one short. Sure, the twins would be able to share for the first few years, but sooner or later, they'd have to move.
Jared didn't particularly mind, maybe they'd move into a house without an omega room in the basement then, so that his children could grow up without being aware of that every day.
He'd mentioned it to Jensen, and his alpha had looked at him in surprise. “You're right. How could I forget about that?”
Jared didn't comment, just shrugged his shoulders and said, “It's not a big deal, we have a lot of time to find something new.”
Jensen didn't agree. Not that he told Jared that, because why would he? No, what Jensen did was to inform him over dinner one night several weeks later that he'd found them a new house and they could move in right away, before the babies were born.
“Jensen, I'm six months pregnant now. How am I supposed to do that?”
Jensen was completely unconcerned. “Don't be dramatic Jared. You're completely fine, the nausea has stopped, and the other pregnancies didn't impair you at all, not until the very end. It's not like you'll have to do the heavy lifting, we'll have movers for that.”
Jared couldn't believe it. “But I'll still be the one to do the whole packing and unpacking of our entire household, while looking after Jem, who's started crawling around by the way, and is not that easy to keep an eye on anymore.”
“Jared, that's enough,” Jensen glared angrily at him. “We haven't even started and you're already complaining.”
Jared forced his mouth shut and concentrated on giving Jem his carrot mush. There was no sense in arguing with Jensen when he got into full alpha mode.
He started packing the next day. Jensen brought him a giant stack of folded moving boxes and Jared folded, labeled and filled boxes. He hadn't been aware that Jensen owned that much stuff, but his alpha had taken on another project as a pinchhitter – Jared had still no idea what Jensen did exactly, but he didn’t really care at this point either – and he was no help at all, declaring he had no time to sort through the stuff and figure out what to take with them and what to throw away, Jared should just pack everything.
It wasn't easy keeping an eye on Jem while packing, especially because his growing belly made Jared slower than usual. Jem had been crawling around for a few weeks now, but he'd been careful and rather slow at first. Now all of a sudden, he was a real energy bundle, almost shooting through the apartment, touching everything his little hands could reach.
Jared had wanted to buy a baby walker but Jensen had categorically refused. Only bad parents left their children to fend for themselves like that. So Jared had gritted his teeth and tried to always keep an eye on Jem. But then he'd toppled over one of the plants at the veranda door, and Jared had almost had a heart attack when Jem had been buried under the plant. He hadn't been hurt thankfully, but he'd still cried for a good five minutes and there had been dirt everywhere.
It didn't stop Jem's explorer drive and Jared had despaired until Amanda had given him another lifesaving tip. He had carried Jem up to Jensen’s study and deposited him in his father's arms.
“Jared, you know I can't watch him now, I have to work!”
Jared had ignore his alpha, instead he'd carried the big couch cushions up into Jensen’s study and had built a little coral with them. Jem could crawl around and play in it, but the cushions were too big for him to climb. For now at least.
It worked for a couple of days and then Jem's teething troubles started. Up to that point he had been surprisingly calm when he'd gotten his first two teeth, but there were two coming at once now, and he was constantly chewing on anything he could reach and he was crying a lot. Jensen of course couldn't concentrate, so Jared had to deal with it, because for some reason Jensen thought Jared would have an easier time handling it. He really didn't, but of course Jensen didn't notice that.
His babies were really growing now. Until now Dr. Beaver had been unable to determine the babies's gender, both fetuses always turning away or being so wrapped up in each other, but now it would be inevitable.
Jared didn’t want to know. Just the idea of raising two children, and then giving one of them away if it grew up – he wouldn't be able to do it. The car ride to Dr. Beaver's office was tense. Jensen obviously remembered that Jared didn't really want to know and he seemed to be at a loss for words.
Jared's movements were mechanical when he got dressed into the white gown and lay down on the bed. Dr. Beaver was chatting with Jensen while he squeezed the cold gel on Jared's belly. The words didn't really register with Jared though, there was just this dread inside of him, this dark certainty that he would lose one of the lives growing inside of him.
“Will you look at that? Congrats, Jensen, it's an alpha.”
“Two alphas in two pregnancies,” the nurse chimed in, “that's an excellent rate.”
Jared couldn't see it because he was staring at the ceiling, but he heard the smile in Jensen’s voice when he asked his question. “What about the other one?”
“Well, it’s a girl,” Dr. Beaver said, “so I can't tell you if it's a beta or an omega, but since your omega hasn't given birth to an omega yet, I'm pretty sure this is going to be one.”
He hadn't given birth to an omega yet. Jensen had never told him the gender of his first baby, Jared hadn't wanted to know in case it was an omega, but it seemed it hadn't been. Jensen caught his eyes, and smiled at him.
“Your first baby was a beta.”
It was a consolation, a weight off his chest, but a new one was pressing down. He tried to pay attention to the rest of the appointment, listen to Dr. Beaver talk about the babies, how well they were developing, but really, it was all just a little too much.
“It's going to be okay,” Jensen said to him when they got home. “I won't give the omega away.”
Jared looked over at him, and he didn't know what he looked like, but Jensen was visibly taken aback.
“So, the child will stay with us forever? Always?”
“Of course not,” Jensen sighed. “But I will personally overlook the sale and I'll pick the best, kindest couple.”
“You still don’t get it,” Jared said, and his voice was flat. Jensen looked like he wanted to say more, so Jared fled to Jem, picking him up and carrying him out of the room.
“Diapertime,” he said to Jensen as a way of explanation and hoped his alpha would drop the topic now. It didn’t get better by being talked about, and Jared just couldn't bear it. Thankfully Jensen didn't raise the topic again.
The next few weeks were even harder than what Jared now thought of as the 'puking weeks'. His back hurt almost constantly, and so did his ribs, as if the babies were too big for his belly. They were restless in his stomach, and Jared couldn’t sleep. Either the babies were keeping him awake or his back. Jensen seemed insistent on playing hardass alpha and all the niceties he had bestowed on Jared during his former pregnancies dwindled down to nothing. He still took care of Jem, but as soon as Jem started crying for longer periods of time during Jensen’s work time, Jared had to take their son again.
He was struggling with packing everything in the house and the sleep deprivation was killing him. Jared couldn't wait for the pregnancy to be over.
At least Jensen was too stressed to want a lot of sex, because the heightened sexdrive that had plagued Jared during his first two pregnancies was gone.
Of course, after a particularly grueling day and after an even more grueling night, Jensen demanded a blowjob, but then decided it wasn't enough, he wanted to knot Jared.
His protests about Jem went unheard, Jensen just told him he was being silly and then fucked him through the mattress. It was good, really good, once Jared managed to get into it, but it left him with a sore ass and a harsh reminder of their earliest weeks together.
Jared woke up in the middle of the night, because his back was killing him and he needed to pee. With a groan he managed to get out of bed. A sharp pain shot through his back when he stood up, and he slowly walked to the bathroom.
He noticed the sound of dripping before the wetness between his legs registered. For a moment he wondered if he'd become incontinent now as well, but when he turned on the bathroom light and looked down, he saw a line of bright red spots marking his way from the bedroom like a trail of breadcrumbs. A dark puddle was growing between his legs on the tiled floor.
“Jensen.” His voice sounded far away and he was getting light-headed. “Jensen. Something – s'not right, Jen.”
His vision started swimming and he saw a blurry shape appear in the doorway before everything went dark.
The lights in Jim's waiting room were way too bright. Jensen wondered how he’d never realized before how cold and unwelcoming it was.
“Jensen?” Jim's voice startled him out of his trance. “You can go home now.”
“I thought he was going to die. I thought our babies...”
A reassuring hand patted his shoulder. “I know it must have been scary, Jensen, but the babies are fine. Jared is healthy enough that nothing happened to them. We'll keep a close eye on their vitals and we've given Jared a transfusion.”
It wasn't convincing. He knew Jim was a great doctor, but seeing Jared lying on his bathroom floor, skin almost as white as the tiles beneath him, a dark red pool of blood surrounding his body... this image was seared into his brain. Jared lying still so pale in a hospital bed, hooked up to tubes and monitors wasn't really all that reassuring.
Jim sighed. “Jensen, really. Your babies will be fine. Twin pregnancies can be harder to handle, especially with an alpha and an omega sharing the womb, just like we thought. But we’re doing everything to make sure they'll be healthy. Jared might have to cut back on his work a bit though, it seems the pregnancy is harder than they usually are.”
“What?” Jensen looked up at Jim in confusion. He hadn't even thought about Jared working, how could he when he was laying sedated in a hospital room?
“It can happen to the best breeders if it's twins. We'll monitor him for the next days, but you might consider getting some household help, we might have to put Jared on bedrest.”
“Bedrest?” Now Jensen got up. “I thought you said it wasn't that bad?”
Jim raised his hands placatingly. “Relax, it isn't. But Jared had some minor contractions and at this stage in the pregnancy, they could flare up again. Bedrest is just a precaution for your babies, so they won't be born prematurely. And who knows, maybe in a couple of days he'll be able to get up again. But no work and absolutely no lifting.”
Jensen nodded. He would get some help for the house and Jem, and until the babies were born, Jared would stay in bed. Jensen wasn't going to take any risks, not when they’d come so close to losing them.
“I'm just gonna say goodbye,” he told Jim, and ignored the alpha's raised eyebrows when he walked past him to Jared’s room. His omega was still asleep, still hooked up to all the monitors and tubes, but the EKG was showing a soothingly steady pattern, and the color had returned to his face.
Jensen slowly stroked a wayward strand of Jared's hair out of his face. It had grown long, Jared's hair, and he liked it. He knew it was one of Jared's little rebellions, having his hair grow down to his ears past the standard omega fashion, and recently Jensen had actually considered making him cut it. Now it seemed so silly. Jared had almost died. When Jensen had thought he was dying and the cold fist of fear had squeezed his heart so tight, he hadn't been able to breath for a moment before he'd been able to frantically call 911. Usually the emergency services didn't come for omegas though, and the operator had only agreed to send an ambulance when Jensen had yelled at her about Jared being pregnant. The pregnancy that had almost killed Jared had saved him as well.
“You're still here?” Jim's gruff voice brought him out of his memories.
“Yeah,” Jensen said, swallowing around the lump in his throat. There was something that had been gnawing at him the whole time and now he thought about what happened before...
“Jim, I – I mean right before it happened, I knotted him. It was kind of rough, and I just-”
“Don't,” Jim cut him off. “You can’t blame yourself for this. These things just happen. Some omegas deal worse with twin pregnancies and Jared seems to be one of them. You might wanna go easy on the knotting for a while, but if you get an omega for the house, that shouldn't be a problem, you’ll have someone else to knot. I have to go home now, but I'll call you tomorrow with an update. Get some sleep, Jensen.”
Jensen collected Jem from one of the nurses that had looked after him while he dealt with Jared. He went home and put Jem to sleep before going to bed. Rationally, he knew his bed wasn’t bigger than usual, but it felt too empty without Jared in it.
The next morning, he called Jim's praxis for an update and only after being reassured that not only the twins, but also Jared were doing well, he called Kripke Services, the small but efficient local contractor who hired out omegas. His former cleaning omega had come from there and they wouldn't have any trouble finding him an omega who'd be able to take care of his kids, the house and Jared. When the beta on the phone asked about physical appearance, Jensen needed a moment to figure out what she wanted.
“That's not important,” he told her, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. Jared would come back to his bed, Jensen wouldn’t need anyone else.
“Oh good,” the beta said, “then I'll send over someone older and the rate will be substantially lower. I might have to assign a temp for a few days, but starting next week, you’ll have someone with a lower rate.”
Jensen shook his head, but thanked her anyway. The next day, Jim's nurse Linda called to let him know he could take Jared home. He'd have to stay on bedrest for at least one more week to make sure the babies would be okay, but there was no reason for him to remain in the praxis any longer. That the insurance wouldn't pay for it, because he was an omega, went unsaid, but Jensen had anticipated something like that. He didn't like it, not one bit, but he knew it was how insurances worked.
The drive back home was quiet. When they arrived at their old house, Jared moved carefully and a bit slower than usual, a hand pressed to his belly, but he didn't seem to be in any pain.
“Alright, on the couch you go. Jim said bedrest, which means you'll either stay in bed or on the couch the whole day, and you'll only get up to go to the bathroom, okay?”
Jared snorted. “I know what bedrest means. But I'm not sure how you'll be able to manage for a week without me, especially with the move coming up. No offense,” he tacked on at the end, and it felt like he was saying exactly the opposite, “but you're not exactly Mr. Clean or Mr. Cook.”
Jensen couldn’t help but smile. It was so good to see Jared lively enough to make sarcastic remarks, even if they were slightly crossing the line from obedient omega to rebellious insubordination. Jensen leaned over and ruffled Jared’s hair, enjoying his omega's surprised expression.
“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” he told Jared. “I hired another omega, she’ll take care of everything.”
Jared’s eyebrows scrunched up. “How do you mean?” he asked.
“Well,” Jensen said and sat down in his armchair, rocking Jem in his arms. “She’s gonna come here and do all your chores and look after Jem.”
“No!” Jared’s voice was sharp and Jensen looked up to see his omega slowly sitting up on the couch, determined expression on his face. “I don’t give a fuck about bedrest, I won’t give my baby to a stranger. Jem is my child!”
Jensen shot up and reached Jared just in time to put him back on the couch. Jem didn’t like the maneuver much and started crying, and Jensen transferred his son into Jared’s arms, immobilizing him at the same time.
“Jared, stay on the couch. I’m not giving Jem away, but you can’t carry him around anymore, you’re not allowed to lift anything, and you can’t run after him either.”
“But,” Jared started with big eyes, and Jensen cut him off. “No. The omega will come here, do your chores, and take care of Jem. You’ll still get to hold him and feed him if you want, but you’re not leaving this couch until Dr. Beaver says you can get up safely.”
“For the babies,” Jared added.
“Yes,” Jensen said. “For the babies. And for you.”
Jared raised his eyebrows and Jensen shook his head. “Just relax. Or are you telling me, you want to clean?”
“Well no,” Jared said sullenly and Jensen laughed at his cute pout. He leaned down to kiss Jared on the crown of his head, before he headed up to the study. He needed to rearrange the dates with the movers, they couldn’t move while Jared was still on bedrest.
Jared was dozing on the couch when the doorbell rang. Jensen came down from the study, Jem in his arms and went to open the door. Jared could hear the low murmur of voices, but it was too quiet for him to make out the words. Then the front door closed and Jensen came back into the living room, a pretty red-headed woman in her thirties following behind him.
“This is Jared,” Jensen explained to her. “He’ll tell you everything you need to know.” He walked over to Jared and leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll be upstairs working. Have Julie bring up my lunch and later we’ll have dinner here on the couch, okay?”
Jared just nodded, eyeing the omega standing behind Jensen curiously. She was looking demurely to the ground, not moving an inch while Jensen disappeared up the stairs with Jem in his arms.
“Hi Julie,” he said when Jensen had disappeared up the stairs.
She looked up at him then. “Hello Jared. What should I do first?”
“Erm, lunch I guess? Just some sandwiches, no mustard on them and a lot of cheese. You can pretty much use all the stuff in the fridge. I usually mix it up, Jensen doesn’t like to eat the same everyday. But you can sit down first if you want, and we can talk?”
For a moment, Julie’s eyes widened in disbelief and fear. “I’ll start with lunch. Omegas shouldn’t idle,” she said, and then her eyes widened even more. “Not that you’re idling of course, you have to rest. For the babies. But I have to work!” And with that she went into the kitchen before Jared could say anything else.
Great. Apparently Julie was not only abused and either very scared or very brainwashed - quite possibly both - she also seemed to be afraid of Jared. Or that Jared would tell on her. He sighed and hoped he’d be able to make her understand that he was not the enemy.
Julie brought Jensen his lunch and afterwards asked for instructions on which chores to do. Jared tried to get her to sit down and chat a bit with him, but it was hopeless. She was tense and fidgety, her eyes darting up the stairs every two seconds.
“Look Julie, I know that you’re scared, but you don’t have to be,” Jared tried for what felt like the hundredth time. “Jensen won’t hurt you. He’s a good guy - for an alpha - and he doesn’t believe in hurting omegas, okay?”
Julie nodded, but she was still tense. So Jared told her where she could find the dirty laundry and leaned back on the couch again. The twins had been quiet today, only an occasional roll let him know they were still there. Gently, he pressed his hands onto his belly.
“You know, I might not like the kicking much,” he told his babies softly, “but at the moment I would really appreciate it if you let me know that you’re okay.”
The babies didn’t seem to hear though, and stayed motionless. Jared sighed and told himself that all would be well, Jensen and Dr. Beaver would never risk the babies’ safety.
The rest of the afternoon, he spent reading on the couch. Every time he felt a flutter in his belly, it relieved him a bit more, even though he had the impression the babies were moving less than before. He tried to tell himself that he was just panicking, that everything would be alright.
Julie puttered around the house, obviously still afraid of idling, even though Jared tried to assure her that Jensen was very relaxed about household work. Julie nodded, but the fear in her eyes remained and she never slowed down. Jared sighed, thinking back to his first weeks with Jensen and he understood that for Julie, it would probably be even harder to get rid of the fear.
Jensen came down for dinner, and Julie served them on the couch before hurrying back into the kitchen. Jensen didn’t even seem to notice it, but Jared was too drained to start an argument with his alpha. After dinner, Jensen turned on the TV and they started watching his favorite crime show. Jared dozed off during the opening credits, Jensen’s hand resting on his belly, rubbing soothing circles.
“Alright, time for bed sweetie.”
Jensen’s soft voice jostled Jared out of his trance. Another generic crime show was playing on TV, a bunch of people staring intently at a whiteboard with pictures of dead people, but it wasn’t the one Jensen usually watched. Huh. Jared must’ve been out longer than he thought.
He pushed himself up from the couch, his growing belly making it more difficult every time, and Jensen was there immediately, taking his hands.
“Careful there, sweetie,” he said and pulled Jared up slowly. “I should probably carry you up the stairs.
Jared snorted. “Do you know how much I weigh? Besides, I can climb one flight of stairs.”
Jensen shook his head, mumbled something about mule-headed omegas under his breath, but he let Jared walk, even though he never let go of his elbow, guiding him at snail’s pace through the house and then up the stairs.
“Can I get ready on my own, or do you want to brush my teeth for me?” Jared asked when they reached the bathroom. He was a bit out of breath, but nothing that wasn’t related to, and perfectly normal while, carrying two babies in his belly.
Jensen glared at him for a moment, but then his eyes flickered down to the floor. He was standing where Jared had collapsed, even though someone had cleaned up the blood - probably Jensen, it occurred to Jared - and his alpha’s eyes softened.
“Just be careful, okay?” he said and Jared nodded, surprised by the emotion in Jensen’s eyes.
When Jared was done getting ready for the night and he walked into the bedroom, Jensen was there, puttering around, but clearly just waiting for Jared. Jensen tucked him in like he would a child, gave him a kiss to the head and then left with a whispered “Gonna go do a bit more work, good night, sweetie”.
Jared snuggled deeper into the pillows and tried to go to sleep, trying to ignore how warm and fuzzy Jensen’s obvious concern made him feel.
He woke up again when he had to pee. He tried to be quiet while rolling out of bed, but when he looked over to check if Jensen was still asleep, he found the other half of the bed empty. The clock on the nightstand read 2:43. Jensen must really have a lot of work to do, but maybe he had things to catch up on after Jared’s unplanned stay at the hospital.
But when Jared walked to the bathroom, there was no light coming out from under the door to Jensen's study. He relieved himself and then peered down the stairs, but the living room was dark and quiet. Jared was confused for a moment, before he remembered Nurse Linda talking to Doctor Beaver in the Clinic.
“He’ll need to get another omega,” she’d said. “Jared can’t do any hard work, that would put the babies at risk, and that includes intercourse.”
Doctor Beaver had nodded as if it was the most natural thing in the world to get a temporary bed warmer when your own omega was out for the count. Jared had still been tired, so he’d forgotten, but now, standing on the landing in their quiet house, he realized where Jensen was spending the night. With Julie.
On shaky legs Jared went back to bed. Jensen was with Julie. He was sleeping with the other omega. It took him a while to figure out that the strange feelings that were closing up his throat and making his eyes sting were sadness and fear. There was also anger coiling in his belly. Jensen was with Julie, but he was supposed to be with Jared.
Jared had given birth to his son, was carrying two more children for him. Jared was his omega and Jensen had sworn to be good to him and treat him right and now he was fucking another omega. And no, Jared wasn’t jealous. Sure, he liked sex with Jensen, most times, but now with the way he was feeling, tired and bloated, he definitely did not want to have sex. But Jensen should not sleep with Julie. He just…
Jared tried to come up with a different reason, because really, this felt too much like jealousy and disappointment and hurt. Which he was not. No, Jared was just scared for himself and his children. Because if Jensen slept with Julie; pretty, demure, non-pregnant-fat-and-ugly Julie, he could lose interest in Jared? What if he realized that Jared wasn’t special, that he could have a pliant omega in his bed without the hassle? If Jared were to lose Jensen's favor, who knew what would happen then. Maybe he’d go back to treating Jared like a slave. Jared’s life would be terrible again. And he didn't want to give up his warm place in Jensen's bed with eight pillows and foot rubs and stuff. And love. Yes, love. Because getting loved was nice and soothing and comforting, even though he was being loved-like-a-precious-pet by an ignorant condescending alpha.
Jared couldn’t keep his mind from reeling, imagining Jensen with Julie, imagining him forgetting about Jared, about not caring about him anymore.
It was a long time until he fell asleep.
Jensen was getting old. His father had told him, he’d start noticing his age the day his body stopped being okay with everything he did to it, instead developing small aches and pains everywhere. Going by the pain in his back and the kink in his neck, he had aged at least ten years over night.
He got up from the couch, stretching out his aching limbs. Yeah, he would definitely not spend another night on the couch in his office. It might be suitable for a short afternoon nap but not the whole night.
It wasn’t that he’d planned on sleeping on the couch, but when he’d wanted to go to bed late at night, Jared had been fast asleep on his back, sprawled out across their entire bed. Jensen had wanted to scoot in next to him, but Jared still looked so exhausted, he couldn’t bear to wake him. His omega needed his rest and it wouldn’t help if Jensen woke him up in the middle of the night. Besides, Jensen never dealt well with the temptation of having Jared in his arms and not being able to fuck him, especially now that his beautiful belly was so heavy with their children. He’d thought it’d be easier to sleep on the couch.
Jensen grimaced and headed to the shower. Definitely not. He just hoped the hot water would help.
After his shower, he had a quick breakfast with Jem, told Julie to tidy up the garden and then went back to the work that he’d neglected while Jared had been in the hospital. His morning was filled with phone calls and project re-arrangements, but all in all it went pretty smoothly, so after lunch he took a few hours off work and just lazed around the living room carpet with Jem.
Jem was almost a year old, crawling around like a pro and grabbing everything his little hands could reach. Jensen chased him over the carpet and when he caught him, he whirled him around in the air. Jem loved it, laughing and giggling the whole time. He wasn’t talking yet, but he was babbling constantly and Jensen was sure, he’d said mommy a few times. Or something like it.
Jared came downstairs when Jensen was just about to go back to work, handing Jem to Julie.
“Sweetie, why don’t you stay in bed, the stairs aren’t good for you,” Jensen said. Jared still looked a bit pale and he was moving haltingly.
Of course, instead of obeying, his omega just snorted. “I’m not gonna stay in bed the whole day. I want to spend time with my son. Right, Jem? You wanna spend time with me?”
At his mommy’s sight, Jem had started to shift in Julie’s arms and now he began to cry, stretching his pudgy arms out for Jared who reached to take him.
Jensen quickly stepped between them. “No way,” he said as sternly as he could manage. “You go lie on the couch and then you can hold Jem. But no lifting or carrying, he’s way too heavy.”
Jared rolled his eyes, but thankfully sat down without further protest. Jensen put Jem in Jared’s arms.
“I threw him around a bit, he should be exhausted and ready for a nap soon,” he told Jared, before turning to Julie. “Make sure he does not move. And don’t forget to come up to the study later.”
After Julie was done looking after Jared and Jem, there were some contract papers he needed her to mail today. Jensen didn’t wait for Julie’s affirmation, he already knew that she was obedient to a fault and he kissed his son and his omega on their heads before he walked up to his study. There was something off about Jared’s expression, but that would have to wait, right now there were still work related things he had to catch up on.
It was a long afternoon, and Jensen was really looking forward to a relaxing dinner with Jared on the couch. He’d had trouble with one of his sketched designs, then a contractor of one of his current projects had called because someone had messed up the execution, and now Jensen needed to fix their mess. To make things even worse, when Julie had come up to gather the envelopes ready for the mail, she’d knocked over several stacks of books. Jensen knew that his habit of piling books up instead of buying bookshelves for them was rather impractical, Jared had told him often enough and he vowed to buy more bookshelves when they’d move into the new house.
When he came down, Julie was done with cooking - her food was not as good as Jared’s, but then Jensen had always known that his omega excelled at all his tasks - and Jensen gratefully plopped down on the couch.
Jem was sitting in Jared’s lap, squirming unhappily, his eyes squinting in that tell tale sign of tiredness.
“It’s bedtime for you, buddy, isn’t it?” Jensen asked and Jared nodded.
“Yeah, I should-”
Jared stopped him before he could do anything stupid, like stand up. “No, you shouldn’t. Julie will bring Jem to bed.”
Before his omega could protest - Jensen saw the stubborn lines appear around his mouth, he was in for one hell of a bitchfit - he took Jem, gave him a kiss and handed him to Julie. She carried Jem up the stairs, rocking him gently.
Next to him, Jared was silent in that pissed, judging way.
“Don’t pout sweetie,” Jensen said and reached for his plate. Julie had made some kind of pasta. “She’s great with Jem and as soon as you can get up again, you can take care of him yourself.”
Jared mumbled something into his own plate, that Jensen couldn’t understand. After the day he had, he really couldn’t let it go.
“Jesus fuck Jared, I try to be understanding here, but I had a long day and I don’t need your bitchy attitude. You have something to say, say it, or shut up and let me eat my dinner in peace.”
For a moment Jared’s brown eyes went big and Jensen already felt guilty over the harsh tone he’d taken, but then Jared’s face closed off.
“I have nothing to say,” Jared said stiffly, staring at the screen and mechanically rolling spaghetti on his fork.
Jensen rolled his eyes. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Jared.”
Jared laughed bitterly. “I’m the liar? Oh, that’s rich. You’re the one who does nothing but lie and twist the truth however you like it. You promised, you fucking promised to be good to me, but you’re not!”
Guilt hit Jensen like a punch to the gut. He looked down at his hands that had automatically balled into fists. Jim might have told him that it hadn’t been his fault, but Jensen still didn’t fully believe him and now Jared blamed him as well. And rightly so. He should’ve been more careful with Jared, treated him better. He was so precious, and the image of Jared in a sea of red on the white tiles still haunted him.
“I know, sweetie, and I’m so sorry. I promise to be more careful in the future, okay? I never wanted anything bad to happen to you.”
Jared looked at him, face angry and confused. “Careful? So what, you slipped and you fell on her, dick first?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Jensen asked, because that didn’t make sense at all.
Jared’s eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about?”
“You blame me for what happened,” Jensen said, dragging a hand through his hair. “And you’re right. I worked you too hard, I didn’t pay attention and that night… I’m so sorry sweetie, but you have to know that I would never want to see you hurt, right?”
Jared was flabbergasted. “Jensen, I don’t blame you for that. These things just happen.”
Jared’s admission didn’t make the guilt go away, but it made him wonder what else his omega was angry about.
“Then why are you so angry?”
There was so much hurt and pain in Jared’s eyes like Jensen had never seen before.
“You promised we’d be a family,” Jared spit out. “You promised me and then you fucked her.”
Jensen was too stumped to be angry. “What?”
“You fucked Julie. You said we’d be a real family but as soon as I’m unavailable, you go and fuck the next convenient omega?”
Jared had talked himself into a rage, face flushed and eyes blazing. Jensen had no idea how Jared had come to this conclusion, he felt like he’d fallen into an episode of the Twilight Zone and all he could do was shake his head.
“No. Jared, what-”
“Just because I’m fat and ugly, you go and-”
Jensen reached out and pressed a finger to Jared’s lips. He needed to make this stop right now. He needed the hate and the hurt to stop.
“Jared, you’re not ugly, you’re not fat, you’re fucking beautiful and whatever would made you think I was fucking Julie anyway?”
Jared drew back. “Last night. You didn’t come to bed last night, and when I got up-”
“You got up? Jared-”
“There was no light in the office, so you weren’t working anymore-”
“Jared, you can’t just get up, what if something-”
“So I knew you were spending the night with her!”
“-happened to you?”
They glared at each other in silence. Jensen couldn’t believe that Jared just wandered around in the middle of the night.
“Well, you would’ve noticed me getting up and you could’ve said something about it, if you hadn’t fucked her last night,” Jared said, venom dripping from his voice.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Jared, I wasn’t fucking Julie! When I wanted to go to bed last night, you were sprawled out octopus-style and I didn’t want to disturb you. You need your rest, so I slept on my couch in the office. Which, by the way, made my neck stiff and I feel like I spent the night on a pile of wood.”
Jared stared at him with his mouth slightly open. “You did that?”
“Of course I did,” Jensen exclaimed indignantly. “Your health is the most important thing right now, we can’t take any risks. Not with the babies’ life or with yours. So don’t look at me like I’m some kind of cheating monster. Yes, I made mistakes, I should’ve treated you better, but I wouldn’t cheat on you. You’re the only one for me baby, the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, and nothing will ever change that.”
Jared was still looking at him in utter disbelief, and again Jensen felt like he was being punched in the stomach. He didn’t know what was worse, Jared believing he would cheat on him or Jared not knowing his feelings for him.
Jensen took Jared’s face into his hands and kissed him. Slow but thorough, worshipping his lips and exploring his mouth, reconnecting them. It had been too long since they’d done this, and so for the longest time he just let his mouth move against Jared’s, sharing air and enjoying their closeness.
Jared was hesitant, but Jensen could feel how his anger melted and in the end he leaned into the kiss, responded to it and his hand tentatively lay on Jensen’s leg.
He had to pull back when it got too much, when his body reacted in a way he couldn’t act upon now.
“We good?” he asked and stroked Jared’s cheek.
Jared nodded and smiled hesitantly. “Yes, we’re good.”
Relieved, Jensen stood up.
“Alright. I have to work a little bit more, it’s a fucking mess, but I’ll come back to bed later. Just don’t hog the pillows.”
Jared kept on sitting on the couch, watching Jensen walk up the stairs. He sat still as a statue, breathing shallowly, until he heard the soft click of the door closing and he knew Jensen was in his study. Then he carefully got up and walked to the patio door. He left it ajar when he stepped outside and sat down on a big chair. He looked out over their garden in the dimming light of the setting sun.
Jared took a few deep breaths, trying to dispel the tightness in his chest, but he couldn’t help it anymore. Heaving sobs wrecked his body and he couldn’t stop the tears from falling, couldn’t stop shaking. Just when he thought he was done with Jensen, was done with his casual condescendingness and his passing discriminations. Just when he thought he didn’t care about him anymore, something like this happened.
You’re the only one for me.
Not omega, not pet, just the only one. Jensen hadn’t even mentioned his right to fuck as many omegas as he pleased, just accepted that they were in a monogamous relationship. He’d said he’d never cheat, as if Jared was really his equal partner in a real relationship. As if he really loved him, like Jared’s father had loved his mother. Except Jensen didn’t. Even if he saw themselves in a real relationship, Jared was still his omega.
This was all he’d ever get, this twisted patronizing love, and Jared hated himself for wanting it, for being weak and still craving Jensen’s poisonous affection. Jared hated it, but he still wanted this life Jensen offered him in a dimmed and broken version of what he’d dreamed of when his parents had still been alive.
He had tried to tell himself that this was for the kids, but the truth was, he wanted it for himself just as much. He’d suffered so much, he’d fallen so low, what Jensen was offering was the only way out and he wanted to take it. He was so tired of it all, he just wanted Jensen to worry about him, to kiss him on the head and rub his belly. He wanted Jensen to hold him at night and sooth his nightmares away.
You’re the only one for me.
Jared would be safe in his cage, and he continued to cry soundlessly as he accepted that he’d stop fighting this life with Jensen.
Jensen came to bed late, but Jared was still awake. He just couldn’t fall asleep, too much concern keeping his mind busy.
“Are you sure about this, that I’ll be enough?” Jared asked when Jensen slid in bed next to him, drawing him into his arms. He didn’t want to fight with his alpha, but it just wouldn't let him go.
“What? Yes, sweetie, I am. You’re so special, okay?” Jensen's voice was playful and he slid in behind Jared. “Besides, you’re beautiful. Always.”
“But we can’t, you can’t knot me.”
“Yeah, I know,” Jensen said, pressing closer against Jared, “but there are other things we can do.”
Jensen nuzzled the back of Jared’s neck, kissing and nibbling the spot behind his ear and the hollow of his throat. He hadn’t been gentle like that in a long time and Jared’s body responded like a plant to the rain after a long drought.
Goosebumps broke out on his skin wherever Jensen touched him, fingers stroking softly down his arms and belly, nails gently scratching. Jared leaned back, and when Jensen reached down to his ass, he spread his legs immediately. Jensen’s fingers were agonizingly slow when they entered Jared’s body, rubbing against his sensitive insides and getting him wet. Then Jensen pressed closer against him, dick first riding the crack of his ass, gathering the wetness there and then sliding between his legs.
Jensen fucked him between the legs, slow and careful, smooth glide feeling great and when Jensen reached around and jacked him with a firm grip, Jared came all over the sheets.
“Fuck, so hot!”
Jensen breath was hot against his neck and his breathing sped up and shuddered when he came as well.
For a while, they lay in blissful silence, then Jensen disentangled himself and stood up. He left the room only to return a short while later with a wet cloth from the bathroom and cleaned Jared up. He crawled back into bed with him, but he looked at Jared with a worrying expression on his face.
After what they’d just shared, Jared was confused.
Finally Jensen cleared his throat. “How could you ever think this?”
“Think what?” Jared asked.
“That I’d cheat on you,” Jensen said.
Jared closed his eyes for a moment, but then he’d decided to be honest.
“You were so closed off to me recently, so… harsh,” he explained. “You were treating me like an omega again, like I was an unruly pet you needed to discipline.”
Jensen looked like Jared had just slapped him in the face. A small part of Jared wanted to roll his eyes - really, how could Jensen not have realized this? - but mostly he was happy about Jensen’s dismay.
Jensen reached out and softly stroked along Jared’s cheek. “I’m so sorry sweetie, I never meant to treat you like that. I just wanted to do what was best for you. You’re so precious to me, okay? Always will be.”
Jared couldn’t believe Jensen had actually believed he’d been doing him a favor, but then again, omegas weren’t the only ones getting brainwashed, their whole society was walking around with blinders on. If only he could make Jensen see.
“Come here,” Jensen said softly and drew Jared into his arms. “I’ll never replace you, baby, or sell you. We’ll always be together, we and the kids, our little family, okay? And there’s never going to be an omega who’s gonna take your place in bed. Even if you do take up a lot of space.”
Jared swallowed down everything he wanted to say, all the emotions clogging up his throat. Instead he whacked Jensen over the head and snorted. “Are you calling me fat?”
Jensen laughed and leaned down to press a kiss to Jared’s belly. “In the best possible way, baby.”
Then he straightened up again and looked at Jared with a smirk. “Jared, were you jealous?”
“What? No!” Because that was so not what this had been about. Not at all.
Jensen just laughed again and kissed Jared on the nose. “You’re such a silly little thing sometimes. But you don’t have to worry your pretty little head about it, Julie is just a temp anyway until the agency can send us a better fit. I don’t want someone to replace you, I want someone who’ll be able to help you.”
Jared decided to ignore the resentment rising up at Jensen’s condescending words. He didn’t know how, but he was determined to be happy.
I'm really sorry, but I somehow forgot to post this from livejournal. *facepalm* Apologies. On the upside, you won't have to wait too long for the next part. I think.
At this point I’m not sure what I can warn for that I haven’t already, but this chapter contains more triggery content concerning pregnancies, abortion and childbirth.
“Jared, you have to eat.”
“I can’t. My stomach hurts.”
Jensen stopped at the living room door, watching Jared lying on the couch, Kim standing before him with a bowl of soup.
“I know,” she said soothingly. “But you need to eat. It’s just a bit of soup.”
Reluctantly, Jared reached for the bowl and slowly started to eat. Kim smiled at him and walked back to the kitchen. She was a good omega, much better equipped to help Jared than the previous omega had been. Thankfully, Julie had only been a temp and after a few days, the agency had sent them Kim. She was older, lines etched around her eyes, although there was no grey in her dark hairs yet. After giving birth to eight children, she’d become infertile and was sold by her family into the labor force. She was efficient and respectful, and with her experience with pregnancies she was a great help to Jared. She was excellent with children as well, Jem loved her.
Jensen thought she was good for Jared, keeping him company while Jensen worked. Kim seemed more intelligent than the average omega, and he knew that Jared enjoyed her company. Not that it showed, most of these days.
Jared had problems with nausea again, his feet and back hurt constantly, and when he said that he was growing two soccer players in his stomach, the smile and the teasing were gone from his voice. He didn’t sleep well and it was showing in the dark circles under his eyes.
Jensen was worried, another thing that made Jared unhappy, and the last few days had been tense, despite Kim’s support. When the phone rang, Jensen was glad for the distraction.
Jared was already lying in bed by the time Jensen wrapped up work for the day. He was curled up on his side, eyes squeezing shut in pain.
“Sweetie, you okay? The babies moving again?”
Jared shook his head. “Yes. I mean no. I mean - fuck. I’m just having some light contractions I think, nothing big-”
“You have what?” Jensen was around the bed, hand on Jared’s stomach in seconds. He had no idea what he wanted to accomplish with that, but he needed to touch Jared right now.
“Just a few, nothing bad and over ten minutes apart,” Jared mumbled.
“I don’t care,” Jensen said, “we’re going to the practice right now. Kim!”
Jared tried to bat his hands away, tried to tell him he was fine, but Jensen wasn’t having any of it. He would not watch Jared bleed again.
Together with Kim he manouvered Jared down the stairs, out of the house and into the car. Kim’s eyes were worried when she closed the door behind them, going to check on Jem. Jensen called ahead, letting Jim know he was coming, and the old doctor met them at the clinic’s doors.
“I was already asleep,” Jim grumbled, but together with nurse Linda he transferred Jared into a wheelchair.
“He said he was having contractions again,” Jensen explained.
Jim sighed. “Alright. Let’s see what we can see.”
It felt like hours later when Jim finally came out again to talk to Jensen, even if it was only forty-five minutes.
“So?” Jensen asked impatiently.
“Well, for now the babies are fine, and so is your omega. However the pregnancy will continue this way, I expect. It’s a typical alpha-omega twin pregnancy, the risks of miscarriage are very high.”
“Miscarriage?” No. No, that couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t.
Jim nodded, face sympathetic. “I know this isn’t the easiest thing to hear, but Jensen, there are things we can do.”
“Yes. Whatever it takes, do it.”
“We’ll do a cesarean and get the omega baby out,” Jim explained. “It’ll give the alpha baby the space and the calm it needs to grow to full term.”
Jensen stared at Jim, not understanding what he was saying. “But… why only one baby, why not get both of them?”
“It’s still early and the chances of a baby surviving now are only about forty percent. We can’t risk the alpha baby like that. By getting the omega out we give the alpha baby the best chance, and the omega, well it could still pull through.”
Jim didn’t look particularly worried by the fact that one of Jensen's babies might die.
“You want to risk one of my babies’ life?”
“The omega baby, Jensen. I know that having an omega baby can be a huge financial asset, but you don’t really need the money.”
Jensen didn’t know what to say. It were his kids. All the times he’d had his hand pressed to Jared’s stomach, feeling the two babies underneath it, hearing both their heartbeats at medical checkups - there hadn’t been a difference between them.
Jim put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “I know it’s a very abstract feeling when they’re still in the womb, but it’s just an omega, Jensen. It’ll never really be your child, not like Jem is, or the other alpha baby. And Jared… well carrying both babies to term could be dangerous for him as well. He’s an excellent breeder, Jensen, and smart for an omega. I would not recommend putting his life at risk.”
“But you think the omega baby could die?” Jensen asked, his voice sounding hollow to his own ears.
“Well, at this stage it’s going to be a toss-up I think,” Jim said, obviously aiming for a reassuring tone. “Chances of survival are okay and the most common risk for premies is mental setback which shouldn’t impair the ability to birth children. Don't worry Jensen, if it survives, we'll give it to a facility that will take good care of it."
Jensen didn't like it, not at all, but he needed Jared to be alive. That made the decision. Jensen would not risk Jared’s safety. He would not do it, he wouldn’t let Jared die. He couldn’t.
“Let me just talk to him, he won’t like it.”
Jim shook his head and left him alone.
Inside the patient room, Jensen was greeted with the familiar picture of Jared in a hospital gown, IV in his arm, and monitor hooked up to his belly. His eyes were closed, but Jensen didn’t think he was asleep.
“So what’s the verdict?” Jared asked without opening his eyes.
Jensen carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and took Jared’s hand. “I’m sorry sweetie, but it doesn’t look good. Now, you don’t have to be worried, we will do everything to make sure you and the alpha baby are fine, but they have to get the omega baby out now, so you’ll be able to survive the pregnancy.”
Jared’s eyes shot open, staring at Jensen. “Omega baby? The second baby is an omega?”
Shit. In all the stress Jensen had forgotten he hadn’t told Jared yet. “Yeah, Dr. Beaver told me last time, he could confirm it was a nice little omega girl.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?” Jared hissed, face angry.
“Take it easy,” Jensen tried to sooth him. “I didn’t want to upset you any more.”
Jared closed his eyes, breathing in deeply and Jensen petted his hair. He’d known this would be hard for his omega, hell it was hard on him too.
“Look, I don’t like the idea either, but if it’s the only option to make sure you’re safe, we’re doing it, and the omega baby has a forty percent chance of survival, so it’s not-”
“Forty percent?” Jared sat up in bed and his hand curled protectively around his belly. “No. Forget it. You’re not ripping one of my babies out of my belly to die.”
“Jared, you don’t know that it will die.”
Jared shook his head wildly, hair flying. “No. You can’t do that. Please, Jensen don’t.”
“Jared, I know you won't be able to understand me, but trust me, this is for the best.” Jensen took Jared’s hand and squeezed it gently, trying to comfort him. “You’ll still have one baby and the other one, I’m sorry Jared, but it’s an omega, it won’t be like having Jem,” Jensen said repeating Jim’s words.
Jared’s face hardened. “The baby will be an omega. Just like me.”
“But you’re special, sweetie,” Jensen tried to explain.
“So my baby will be. Our baby. Just like Jem, we made her together, how can you not see that?” Jared looked at him pleadingly, and Jensen got it, he really did, but it didn’t matter.
“You are what fucking matters, Jared! Don’t you see that? I can’t let you die! I won’t.”
Jared watched him for a moment, eyes going cold and calculating. “If you do this,” he said, voice hard, “you will kill me and everything that is between us. If you do this, I am done with you. I will never forgive you."
Jensen let his head fall into his hands. He’d been afraid something like this would happen, but he hadn’t expected how deep the words cut.
“Can’t you understand baby, how important you are to me?” Jensen said, trying to reason with Jared, make him see. “You have to live. And think about Jem, do you want to leave him?”
Jared paled and his hands clenched the sheets. “Don’t you dare. Of course I don’t want to leave him, he is my child. Just like the two babies in my belly.”
“No.” Jared looked straight ahead, at the white wall. “You are not going to risk my baby’s life like this.”
“Sweetie,” Jensen tried again but Jared wouldn’t look at him.
“There has to be another option. I’ll go on bedrest again, I won’t move, I’ll drink that disgusting pregnancy tea Kim ordered, anything. But you are not going to chose one of my children’s lives over the other.”
Jared stared straight ahead. Jensen reached out to take his hand again. Jared didn’t pull away, but he didn’t acknowledge him either.
“I can’t leave you,” Jared said, voice flat. “But I’ll never be with you again.”
There was nothing Jensen could say to change Jared’s mind and he knew it. Jared would hate him, and if he’d never forgive him… Like a movie, they started running through his mind; the moments filled with happiness they’d shared. The first smile Jared had given him. The first time he’d leaned into him, back when he only started to trust him after all the abuse. The meals they’d enjoyed together, the realization when Jared was pregnant, heatsex, Jared holding Jem in his arms, Jared with his belly rounded letting Jensen massage his feet, Jared falling asleep on the couch, head in Jensen’s lap, Jared bringing him breakfast, Jared, Jared, Jared. He couldn’t imagine his life without him anymore, his smile, his presence, his laugh, even his eyeroll when he was annoyed with Jensen. He couldn’t give it up.
Jared’s head whipped around and he stared at Jensen with wide eyes. “What?”
Jensen took a deep breath. “I must be losing my mind, but okay. Absolute bedrest, you drink the tea, you take all the meds, and at the slightest signs of contractions we’re back here, you understand?”
Jared nodded, but his eyes were still full of distrust. With a sigh, Jensen stood up. “I better tell Jim.”
Actions would speak louder than words now, and getting him home would probably be the only thing that would make Jared believe him.
When they got home, Kim immediately picked up on the tension. She’d only been with them for a week, but she’d quickly realized that things between Jared and Jensen worked differently than in most households. She hadn’t been too surprised, telling Jared that she knew of a few omegas that were adored by their masters and well taken care of.
When Jared had asked her if she’d been one of those, she’d shaken her head.
“But I still had it better than most,” she’d explained. “My masters were never cruel to me and I never wanted for anything.”
“Except your freedom.” Jared had said bitterly.
Kim had laughed. “That’s not something you can want without going insane.”
Now she eyed him intensely. “What happened?”
Jared sighed. He was already back on the couch - and he’d really come to hate this innocent piece of furniture - after Jensen had deposited him there with strict instructions to Kim that Jared was on absolute bedrest. So Jared told her what had happened at the hospital.
When he was done, Kim whistled. “That was quite the gamble you took there.”
Jared shook his head. “It wasn’t a gamble. Last week, when I told Jensen I wanted some books to pass the time, otherwise I’d go crazy, that was a gamble. When I told him that as soon as the twins are born and I’m back on my feet, I want to go on a vacation, somewhere in the countryside, away from this house and this fucking city or he could go get his morning blowjob somewhere else, that was a gamble. This though… I just don’t know how I could ever have pretended to smile at him again.”
Kim shook her head in disbelief. “You really know how to play him, do you? Aren’t you afraid it will backfire some day?”
“It’s not like I have anything to lose.”
“Oh Jared, you have everything to lose,” Kim said and she gestured around the house. “I’ve been working as a house omega for ten years now. Do you know how many omegas I’ve seen that have the comfort you do? That get their way like you do? None! Even the ones kept like pets by their masters, they might be spoiled, but they still don’t get to decide anything. You can make decisions Jared! Do you know how rare that is? How precious?”
Jared slumped back into the cushions and rubbed his belly. One of the babies was doing somersaults in there.
“I know. Trust me, I didn’t always live with Jensen.”
“Yeah,” Kim said quietly. “I’ve seen the scars. I didn’t think that Jensen did that.”
Jared didn’t think about his first alpha often. The dreams still haunted him, from time to time, although nowadays his nightmares mostly revolved around losing his children. But every once in a while he would still wake up shivering and screaming, the ghost of a cane on his feet or a whip on his back.
“He might never have hurt me physically, but this is just as bad. He pretends to love me, to treat me equally, but he still thinks of me as nothing more as a pet. I just… I can’t make him see. I tried so hard, but he just - I’m tired Kim, and I can’t do it anymore.”
Kims sat down next to him and even though she was so much smaller, she still managed to draw him into her arms. “You got him so much further than most of them. And this pregnancy, maybe it’s the push he needs. He really does care for you, you know.”
“I know. And trust me, there was a time when I wanted that, for him to love me so I could love him back and we’d be a real family. Just like my parents.”
He could feel Kim’s curious gaze, but she didn’t push and Jared didn’t feel like taking a painful trip down memory lane.
“But now, it doesn’t matter what he does. I have nothing left to give him. He burned it all out.”
Kim gently patted his hair and they sat in silence for a long time.
The next month was calm with an underlying tension that never really dissipated. Jensen clearly hadn’t forgotten Jared’s threat and he tried to be more accommodating than ever. It ended up with him hovering a lot of the times and if it weren’t for Kim, Jared would go crazy. Jensen worked more than ever, splitting his time between his contracts and their new home. He had decided to organize everything by himself, although he insisted on showing Jared the exemplaries for the tiles and the wallpaper, asking for his input every step of the way. Since he had nothing else to do, Jared jumped into it.
It was weird, spending so much time with Jensen again and the alpha seemed to think that Jared getting passionate about curtains and carpets meant their relationship was improving. There were a lot of little kisses and cuddling from Jensen and if weren’t for the private, almost smug smiles in between, Jared might even be able to enjoy it. He did enjoy the foot rubs though and Jensen massaging his neck and head until he fell asleep. By now Jared was so used to his bipolar feelings for Jensen it didn’t even exhaust him anymore. It was just how it was.
The twins were born on a rainy night in spring, just two days after Jem’s first birthday. It was long and painful, but this time Jensen insisted on pain medication and Jared got a fentanyl patch, which actually brought the pain down to bearable. Jared’s whole body still hurt with the exertion, but when the sun rose he had a perfectly healthy alpha and omega. They were both a bit underweight, but the doctor assured Jensen that after a few days in the incubator, they would be fine.
Jared was too exhausted to walk, but Jensen heaved him into a wheelchair and together they watched their babies sleep under the plastic cover.
Carefully Jensen reached through the hole inside and patted the omega’s hand. “They’re so tiny.”
“They’ll be fine,” Jared found himself saying.
Jensen turned to him and looked at him fiercely. “Thank you,” he said and kissed him, harder than he’d done in weeks. “Thank you so much. If you had let me, we would never… You made the right call, and you were so brave, sweetie.”
Jared just nodded and let Jensen kiss him over and over again.
The hospital stay went on longer than usual because Jared contracted an infection. He had to take strong antibiotics that made him throw up for over a week, before he was deemed healthy enough to be discharged with the warning that they shouldn’t attempt another pregnancy during his next heat. Jared should pause for at least one, if not two heat cycles. Jensen nodded and as soon as they were in the car, the babies safely tucked away in the car seats, he laughed disbelievingly.
“We just had twins and Jim thinks we want to have kids again soon. Clearly he’s become crazy with old age.”
Jared only managed a tired smile. He really hoped Jensen would want to wait longer than just six months.
Jensen named the alpha David, after his grandfather. Then he looked at the omega baby, currently sucking on a bottle in Jared’s arms.
“Do you want to name her?”
Jared almost dropped the bottle. “What?”
Jensen shrugged. “I just thought, you should get to pick out a name as well.”
Jared looked at the little bundle in his arms. So small, so fragile, and born into a world that would never be kind to her.
“Margaret,” he said.
At Jensen’s questioning look, he explained. “It was my mom’s name. I know it’s silly, but maybe it’ll protect her. Maybe she’ll manage to have a good life, just like her.”
Jensen looked like the words had physically gutted him, but he didn’t say anything.
The movers came on the twin’s two months birthday. Jensen had insisted Jared do nothing, rest and just look after the children. Jared had tried to reassure his alpha that he was completely fine, he was getting stronger everyday and except for being really tired in the evenings, doing his chores had no bigger impact. Sure, the twins needed to be fed several times every night, but Kim was here and so was Jensen.
The first time Jensen had picked up his crying daughter and given her the bottle, Kim’s eyes had grown as big as saucers.
“Did he mix up the babies?” she asked Jared in a whisper.
Jared laughed, couldn’t help it, but that stubborn part of his heart that still insisted on caring for Jensen, swelled with happiness.
Little Maggie obviously adored her daddy, smiling at him when she was done drinking. Jensen hugged her close and pressed a kiss to the short blond hairs on her head. Then he walked around, singing Stones songs quietly to her until she fell asleep. Jared was sure Maggie would like other music as well, but ever since Jem had only calmed down to the Stones during his first difficult phase, they had become Jensen’s go-to baby songs.
It wasn’t that Jared hadn’t seen that before, with Jem, Jensen had always been a doting father after the initial hiccups, but Maggie was an omega. Jared had thought that with the way Jensen still viewed the world, he must treat her differently, but he didn’t. Jared had no idea how the alpha was able to compartmentalize so strictly, but there it was.
Chris, the alpha that had been there when Jared met Jensen, was one of the few who came over once they’d moved into their new home. Jared never thought about how bare Jensen’s social life was - it wasn’t like he had a lot of points of references except what he picked up on TV - and they rarely had visitors.
The two alphas had dinner alone while Kim was busy in the kitchen and Jared brought the kids to bed. Jensen had proudly showed them off before dinner and uncle Chris, as he’d been introduced to Jem, had dutifully doted on the kids, even though Jared could tell he had to force it with the Meggie. But then she’d gurgled at Chris, showing him her special smile, the one Jensen said she clearly inherited from Jared, all cute and dimpled, and Chris had been lost to her charm immediately. Chris had cood at her, taken her little hand and told her she was the prettiest baby girl he’d ever seen. Jensen had almost burst with pride.
Jared thought he’d fallen into a rabbit hole, but when all the kids were finally sleeping - the twins had fallen asleep almost immediately, while Jem had cried for three more songs - and Jared went down into the kitchen to help Kim clean up, he overheard Chris telling Jensen that he’d hired himself an omega to keep house but was so pretty he’d taken her into his bed as well.
“Of course,” Jared muttered to himself, “every pretty omega has to be knotted otherwise the world would explode.”
Kim shot him a worried look, like always when he talked about omega standing and alpha laws, but she didn’t comment.
They cleaned up in silence and then moved upstairs, unpacking the last of the boxes. Later that night, when Chris had gone home, Jensen had fallen asleep, snoring after one too many whiskeys, Jared got up and wandered through the dark house. He checked first on Jem, then on the twins, but all was well.
He actually liked the new house, bigger than the old one, giving them four potential rooms for children and two additional bedrooms. There was no omega room in the basement, instead Kim slept up on the third floor next to the still empty guest rooms. The children were on the first floor with Jared and Jensen, although Jensen had already joked that when they’d grow older they’d voluntarily move up to put as much space between them and their parents.
Jared went downstairs and looked out the glass doors and into their garden. It was bare, he’d have to start from scratch again, but he didn’t mind. He needed the gardening to keep him sane and busy. Maybe he could even persuade Jensen to get them a dog, now that they had such a large property. It was only a fifteen minute walk from their old house, but it was in a very quiet neighborhood, with large houses surrounded by big gardens. Jensen had clearly done well for himself in the last years, not that Jared would know. Work was still something Jensen didn’t really talk about unless he complained about nagging clients and incompetent contractors. Jared though Jensen was doing some kind of construction design, but then he’d stopped caring about that a long time ago.
When the twins started crying, he welcomed the distraction. Thinking wasn’t something that made him happy or changed anything about his situation. He hurried up the stairs and picked a crying David out of his cot. Maggie was awake, but only blinking sluggishly, clearly not woken by hunger but by her brother. Jared went to get a bottle and hoped the kids would get on a synchronized schedule soon.
He’d only been back to bed for about five minutes when Maggie started to cry.
“Don’t worry sweetie, I’ve got it,” Jensen said, voice still heavy with sleep and rolled himself out of bed.
Jared hugged his pillow tighter and didn’t complain.
Things were going weirdly well.
The twins were healthy and good sleepers. Maggie was more lively while Davie was calmer. At their first check up at two months, Doctor Beaver proclaimed them healthy and growing well, gave them their first round of vaccinations and sent everybody home happy.
Jensen plopped down on the couch immediately, eyes closing. He’d worked a lot to make up for the time he’d lost while they moved. New lines were were visible in the corners of his eyes and this morning Jared thought he’d seen a gray hair.
“C’mere,” Jensen said quietly.
Kim had appeared in the living room, taking the babies out of their carries, so Jared sat down next to his alpha. Jensen leaned back into the corner of the couch and took Jared with him.
“We did good, didn’t we?”
“Yeah, we did,” Jared said. He was surprised he meant it. Jensen had his faults, but he was a good father.
Jensen hummed contentedly. “Maybe we should get a dog, now that we have the kids and the white picket fence.”
“Can we also get a new couch?” Jared asked, closing his eyes and letting himself enjoy Jensen’s hand rubbing his neck.
“Why do you want a new couch?”
“I spent so much time on it while I was on bedrest. Not the greatest time.”
Jensen laughed. “Alright, new couch. But you’re gonna help me pick one out, I don’t wanna deal with all those color schemes again.”
When the twins were three months old, Jensen finally allowed Jared to go outside again. Jared thought he could've gone weeks earlier, but after the difficult birth and Jared's long recovery, Jensen had become quite paranoid. And eaten up by guilt, but that wasn't something Jared would bring up. He liked their current status quo too much.
When he went with Kim to the park, predictably he ran into Alona and Katie again. They were accompanied by a short boy they introduced as Andy. He couldn't be older than seventeen. He was already heavily pregnant and so was Alona. Katie's pregnancy wasn't visible yet, but she told him proudly she was three months along. All had their kids with them.
They asked where he'd been and when Jared told them he'd had a difficult time with the twins, there was a lot of awed cooing. The girls couldn’t get enough of Maggie and Davie sleeping in their stroller, while Andy shyly hung back.
“Twins!” Katie exclaimed. “Oh my gosh, Jared, that is amazing! Your alpha must be so proud of you.”
Alona nodded enthusiastically. Maggie chose that moment to start screaming and Kim took her out of the stroller and walked off, rocking her gently. So no help there.
“Yeah, Jensen, I mean Alpha was very happy.”
Alona and Katie nodded, Andy looked on with apprehensiveness. Then the girls exchanged a look.
“Did he, I mean, did he give you a reward?” Alona eventually asked.
“A reward?” Jared asked confused and wondered if there was an official rewarding system for good birthing omega. But then, the government would never reward omegas.
“Well,” Katie explained, “when I gave birth to their second alpha in a row, Beta gave me a whole tub of icecream.” Her eyes started to gleam at the memory. “Usually I'm only allowed ice cream on holidays, because sugar is so bad for omegas, but Beta just gave me the whole tub and told me I could eat it whenever I wanted. I ate a giant portion right there, and then I saved the rest and only took a spoonful every day after dinner. It lasted for three weeks and it was so great.”
Jared tried to nod impressed. He did remember how Jensen had been about sugar in the beginning only giving him the occasional soda if he'd been good, but the last year, Jared could eat whatever he wanted.
The girls were still looking at him expectantly though and Jared didn't want them to think that he wasn't getting rewards – the looks of pity were not something he could bear, not from these two – so he thought of something he could tell them.
“Well, he told me I could have soda whenever I wanted,” Jared said and the girls ohhd.
“Well,” Alona said, looking at Katie, “twins are a rather big deal.”
Katie nodded.” You're right. Jared, we're so proud.”
And then they hugged him. Jared awkwardly returned the gesture, but it was nice. Andy still looked scared, so Jared smiled encouragingly at him.
“So how are you doing, Andy?”
Andy just looked on the ground and Alona tsked. “Poor thing isn't allowed to talk to us, not since they found out the second baby is going to be an omega. They were finally hoping for an alpha, you know.”
“Ah.” Jared really didn't know what else to say.
That night, after a nice dinner - Kim was finally allowed to sit at the table with them, even if she didn’t dare speak and Jared was reluctant to push her by asking questions, her discomfort too obvious - Jared made them ice cream with fruit and chocolate sauce. Jensen was a happy man and when he pulled Jared in close to kiss the sugar of his lips, Jared let him. Kim went to bring the kids to bed and Jared and Jensen settled in on the couch.
They hadn’t had sex yet, Jensen still treating him like a raw egg, but Jared wanted. He had needs, dammit and the least Jensen could do was sate them. So he kissed Jensen again, with more intent and Jensen was too surprised to stop him. By the time he finally managed to protest, Jared still needed to heal, Jared already had him on the couch, straddling his hips and pressing down on his hardening dick. When Jared sucked a bruise into Jensen’s neck and reached down to stroke his dick, Jensen stopped protesting, instead he stood up and dragged Jared up the stairs with him.
It was gentle and loving and afterwards they lay back to chest, connected by Jensen’s knot and Jared fell asleep into a deep and dreamless sleep.
When the first signs of Jared’s heat arrived, he took the heat blockers prescribed by Doctor Beaver. When Jared had asked incredulously why they couldn’t be more wildly distributed, he’d gotten a condescending lecture of how strong and potentially dangerous they were and how a repeated use could lead to infertility. Jared didn’t believe it for one second.
True, the pills gave him a headache, but otherwise he was fine - and way better than if he’d have to go through his heat, even with Jensen to fuck him through it.
Jared was already dreading his next heat. They definitely wouldn’t attempt for more children and Doctor Beaver had already said that heat blockers could only be prescribed once a year.
When Jared ranted to Kim about it, she hesitated, twisting her hands nervously.
“There are ways to dampen a heat. Certain herbs have a calming effect,” she said quietly.
“That’s great,” Jared said. “Which ones?”
Kim hesitated again. “They’re hard to get, because the seeds and the plants are not for sale here. But you can buy the fruits.”
“So you buy the fruits and then grow your own plants?” Jared asked.
Kim nodded. “They’re called dragon fruit. They only have them in gourmet stores, but I’m sure you could get Jensen to take you shopping there.”
Jared gave her a wide grin. “That’s not gonna be a problem. Thanks, Kim.”
“It won’t make the heat go away, mind you, but with an attentive alpha, it’s going to make it pleasant.” She blushed a bit at her words.
Jared knew what she meant, sex during heat was quite intense and if one could take the burning pain away it would definitely be a very pleasant experience. Before his next heat came around, he’d definitely make Jensen take him shopping.
Two blank weeks. Two weeks of no appointments, no meetings, no deadlines. In three months, on the six months birthday of the twins, Jensen would officially have his first vacation in forever. He’d never really thought about taking one, but Jared had nagged him until he’d agreed and now that he thought about it, he couldn’t wait anymore.
Chris had a little cabin up at the lake, on the remote side with the huge properties. They’d have space there for the whole family, they could even take Kim. Jensen would get to spend the whole days with his kids and the whole night with Jared. It would be heavenly.
He’d tell Jared tonight, when they were alone in bed. That way, Jared could show him how happy he was right there. Jensen grinned. With three kids, having sex needed to be organized. There just wasn’t a lot of room for spontaneous fucking, but he was determined to make it happen tonight.
A knock on the door pulled him out of his daydreams that had turned graphic pretty quickly, and Jared put his head through the doorway.
“We need to leave in fifteen minutes, Jensen.”
For a moment Jensen pondered a quicky on the couch before they had to drive to Jim’s practice, but then he got up and sighed.
It was the twins next vaccination update, something he didn’t really look forward to but it had to be done. Last time Davie had been pretty good about the shot, but Maggie had cried endlessly before she’d fallen asleep totally exhausted in Jensen’s arms.
Yeah, he wasn’t looking forward to this at all.
Later that night, when Jem was in bed and the twins were asleep, Jensen found Jared sitting in their bed, studying the babies’ vaccination records. They had both taken the shots really well this time, so Jensen wondered why Jared looked worried.
There were deep frown lines on his forehead, and the corners of his mouth were turned down. Whatever his omega was reading, it wasn't making him happy. Maybe omegas got less vaccination than alpha or betas? Jensen knew that health insurance didn't pay much for them in general.
“You okay, sweetie?” Jensen asked. “You know, if they didn't give Maggie all the shots, because insurance doesn't cover it, we can totally go back and get them. I'll pay for them, it's no problem. I want Maggie to be healthy.”
Jared looked up at him, frown still on his face. “But that's just it. I thought that would happen as well, but Maggie didn't get less, she got more shots than Davie.”
“What?” Jensen took the paper out of Jared's hands and yes, Maggie had gotten two more shots than David. “What the hell?”
Jared shook his head. “I don't know. I mean...”
Jensen looked up. Jared knew something. Jensen had no idea what it was that his omega was thinking, but Jared’s eyes were doing their shifty thing they did whenever he wanted to hide something from Jensen.
“Jared, whatever you’re thinking? Tell me.”
Jared bit his lip. “I don't really know anything, it’s just – but you won't believe me anyway.”
Jared looked down and fiddled with his hands. “It's just something that my mom said a long time ago. She said that there were ways to suppress an omega's heat, the unnatural part. She said she wasn't sure if she got me away in time, but that she had tried. I didn't know back then what she meant, but what if the government is giving omegas shots to amplify their heat?”
That was the stupidest thing Jensen had ever heard. Really.
“Jared, don't be ridiculous. I know you don't like your biology, but don't blame the government for it.”
“I'm not-” Jared gave a frustrated sigh and dragged a hand through his hair. “It's just if you read old books, there's never anything in there about heats being this bad, they're just described as a bit of a higher sex drive.”
“That's because they are,” Jensen said and he got a nasty glare for it.
“They're fucking agony, that's what they are,” Jared spit out. “And we don't really know anything about omegas outside the US. Besides, we have no idea what the government is capable of.”
“Jared, even if it were possible,” Jensen said, trying to reason with his omega, “why would the government do something like that?”
“I don't know! Maybe they were just trying to heighten fertility and it's a side effect. I mean an omega giving birth to over ten kids? That's another thing you don't read about in older books.”
Jensen gave an exasperated sigh. “Jared you do realize that books can be fictional, right?”
Jared shook his head incredulously. “But not like this. I mean, can’t you see how much the government is manipulating everyone? Everything they tell you about omegas is a lie, why is it so hard to believe they’d mess with our biology as well?”
“Because it’s ridiculous,” Jensen shouted. He’d promised himself never to yell at Jared again, but now he couldn’t stop himself. That Jared could choose to believe such bullshit made him angrier than he’d ever been. It wasn’t true, couldn’t be true, they wouldn’t lie like that.
“Jared, stop blaming the government for every little thing that goes wrong in your life. If you weren’t such a dreamer, you wouldn’t have this problem. Hell, if your parents would have raised you right, you wouldn’t even have to think about this.”
The moment he said it, Jensen knew he’d crossed the line. Jared’s face closed off and he glared at Jensen with pure hatred in his eyes.
“My parents loved me,” Jared spit out. “And my father, yes my father, he knew what bullshit the government was selling and he wasn’t buying it. He wasn’t just blindly following the propaganda like a mindless sheep. If you were even half the alpha he was, you could see what they’re doing to us.”
Jensen still hadn’t moved when Jared slammed the door on the way out. He just couldn’t move. Jared couldn’t be right. It just couldn’t be true, because if it was, everything Jensen had ever known to be true would be a lie. Everything his parents had ever taught him, his omega-parent had - oh god, his omega-parent.
He hadn’t thought about Mary in years, the blond, always kind omega who had given birth to him. She was only a blurred memory, his parents had sold her when Jensen was nine. He remembered his dad had liked her, but his mother had resented her. Jensen dragged a hand through his hair, refusing to think about what this could mean. He just - he couldn’t think about any of this. He needed not to think right now.
His feet carried him down the stairs and out into the garden. Jared was out in the back, furiously ripping weeds out of what was supposed to become a vegetable patch.
Jensen gripped him by the collar and turned him around, pressing him back into the ground. Jared gasped and his hands came up to push at Jensen’s shoulders.
“No,” Jensen panted out, crawling between Jared’s legs and biting into his shoulder. “You can’t say no to me, not now. Please baby, I’m, I just… I can’t okay?”
Jared’s hands stilled, not pushing him away, but not drawing him in either.
“Please, Jared.” Jensen didn’t know what he was begging for, didn’t know what the words meant, but he couldn’t stop them either.
He pulled Jared’s pants down and ripped his own zipper open.
“Please, baby, I need you, need to feel you, okay? Just, let me, please?”
Below him, Jared let his legs fall apart and his hands moved over his back pulling him in. He didn’t say anything though, didn’t kiss him, but he let him in without protest.
Jensen closed his eyes, unable to look at Jared and shoved into him hard and deep, not being able to do anything but try to get closer.
“I called Doctor Beaver today.”
Jensen was standing in the doorway of the laundry room, watching Jared fold onesies. His arms were crossed defensively over his chest and he was looking anywhere but at Jared.
“I asked him about the shots, and he said they’re to boost Maggie’s immune system. Omegas are actually more prone to disease, so to ensure they grow up healthy-”
“Breeding machines, you mean,” Jared muttered under his breath.
“-omegas get more shots during infancy,” Jensen continued, as if Jared hadn’t spoken.
Jared couldn’t suppress a snort. “You don’t honestly believe that, do you?”
There wasn’t a single instance Jared could think of when the government had ever done anything good for omegas.
“Jim knows what he’s talking about and he wouldn’t lie to me,” Jensen said, voice hard. “Besides, the government actually wants omegas to be healthy. They made the shots mandatory, so cheap owners don’t skip them.”
Yeah, Jared was sure that was the reason they were mandatory.
“Do you want to risk Maggie’s health on your lack of faith in the system? Really?” Jared asked, trying to tampen down his outrage. If he wanted a shot at convincing Jensen, he needed to stay rational.
“I am not going to risk her health, which is why she’s getting the shots,” Jensen said with an air of finality. “Jim sent me the statistics and yes, omegas used to have less children in earlier times, but that was because they were sick more often. Maggie will not suffer, just because you have those crazy ideas in your head.”
When Jensen saw the anger that must have been showing on Jared’s face, he adopted a gentler tone. “I know you feel treated unfairly, and you are. You’re so special sweetie, and I’m so lucky to have you, but you need to stop projecting your situation onto other omegas.”
Jared had the choice between starting to scream in frustration and going back to folding laundry. The twins were finally down for a nap, so he opted for the latter. Not that the screaming would work anyway. Jensen was gripping his blinders too tight.
Later, when Jared was alone with baby clothes and dirty towels, tears started to gather in his eyes and he wiped them away angrily. He hadn’t cried in a long time, he wouldn’t start now. He would just have to find other ways to protect Maggie.
Jared’s new garden was flourishing. He had more experience now than when he’d just started out, and he put a lot of thought in the layout of the garden, not in the least because he had started growing several dragon fruit trees. It hadn’t been hard to convince Jensen to let him buy the exotic fruit and Jared had clicked himself through endless manuals on gardening in the omega education system to figure out how best to grow the plants.
The seeds of the fruit would help him through his heats, but Kim had said they worked better the fresher they were and since dragonfruit weren’t grown in their country, they’d been on a long transport before they finally arrived in the stores. So Jared had decided to grow his own, to always have a ready supply.
With Kim’s help he prepared the first bottle of dragon fruit seed extract before their vacation. They were from the store-bought ones, Jared’s plants were still little more than green stems. He’d planted several, because he wasn’t sure how they’d flourish in their climate, but so far they looked good. He just hoped that the extract from the store-bought fruit would make his heat during their vacation bearable.
Their vacation. He was still stumped that Jensen had agreed to it. Jared really hoped that outside of their home, Jensen would be more relaxed, more - Jared didn’t even know what exactly it was he was hoping for. He was annoyed at himself that he was even still hoping, but now with his children, and especially Maggie - he couldn’t give up, couldn’t give in. He’d fight the same fight his mother had fought and he could only hope it would turn out better.
Chris’ cabin was perfect. It had a rustic flair, wooden furniture and hunting trophies everywhere, but the kitchen and the bathrooms were modern and fully functional. There was a room big enough for the kids and a small chamber for Kim. The master bedroom had a bed big enough for four people and the first morning, Jensen decided just not to get up.
He pulled Jared back to his chest as soon as his omega wanted to get up.
“No. Stay here.”
Jared snorted. “You do remember we have three kids, right?”
“Kim can take care of them,” Jensen said and started nuzzling Jared’s neck. He just couldn't get enough of his omega’s scent.
“Jensen,” Jared protested, but his body was already pressing back against Jensen’s.
Jensen grinned, reached down between Jared’s legs and found him wet already. “Just for a little while, sweetie.”
With an exaggerated groan, Jared gave up.
Jensen couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so relaxed. The twins had started sleeping through the night, only waking up once to demand food. Jem was walking steadily now, curiously exploring the whole house and Kim always had a watchful eye on him.
“She’s a real blessing,” Jensen said when he was lazing around on the couch, watching shark week with one eye and his kids with the other.
Jared was sitting at the other end of the couch, feet thrown carelessly across Jensen’s leg. “You should show her that.”
“Show her?” Jensen asked.
“Well yeah,” Jared said. “Give her a gift, to say thanks for a job well done.”
“A gift? Jared, she’s an omega, she-” Jensen broke off when he saw Jared’s withering stare. “Alright, a gift. You’re right, Kim is doing an incredible job and she should be rewarded for that.”
Jared rolled his eyes, but nodded.
“So,” Jensen prompted. “I’m sure you already have an idea.”
“As a matter of fact, I do,” Jared said and for a moment there was this voice in Jensen's head, asking him why he let his omega talk so recalcitrantly, but he ignored it.
“She loves to listen to music, so I think you should get her a stereo for her room. And before you wonder why an omega likes music, just don’t.”
Jared sounded so tired when he spoke that Jensen swallowed his comment about the unusualness of omegas appreciating music down.
“A stereo sounds reasonable,” he said instead. “Maybe you can help me pick one out?”
Jared nodded, but continue to stare gloomily at the TV. Great, Jensen thought. Things had been going so well.
The next day, Jared’s heat hit. Kim made some weird smelling tea in the kitchen and Jared gulped it down before Jensen could ask what it was. The effect was almost immediate.
Jared calmed down and his scent, already wrapping around Jensen like a blanket, driving him crazy with lust, lessened. Jensen was still aroused, still wanted to bury his nose in Jared’s ass, but the unbearable need was gone.
“What the fuck?”
Still panting, Jared fell back on the bed. “Dragonfruit tea,” he explained. “Helps to manage the heat.”
Jensen looked to Kim, who had taken a few steps back.
“It’s completely legal, Sir,” she said, voice shaking slightly. “Jared is still fertile, but since he shouldn’t be pregnant again, we thought it might be a good way-”
“You thought,” Jensen started, but Jared cut him off.
“Don’t. It was all my idea, Kim is only helping. And I won’t go through a fucking heat without getting knotted, I won’t do it. You’ve seen what I’m like, do you really want me go through that again?”
“It’s just how it is,” Jensen said helplessly.
Jared wiped the sweat from his forehead. “And like this, it’s better. Now I’m still horny as fuck, so either you get the hell out or you help me jerk off.”
Jared was already sliding his hand into his pants and Jensen wasn’t sure he could resist, so he fled the room. Downstairs, Kim was feeding Jem breakfast.
Jensen ripped every window in the cabin open, trying to let Jared’s scent out, but in the end he settled on taking the twins outside to give them their morning bottle.
Jensen held out until mid-afternoon. Yes, Jared’s scent wasn’t as potent as it usually was, but it was still fucking enticing. He knew he couldn’t knot Jared, couldn’t fuck him, but maybe he just could-
The sight that greeted him when he opened the bedroom door was a surprise. Jared was asleep. Usually, during a heat, Jared only managed to fall into a kind of exhausted trance while being knotted. Now he was sleeping peacefully in the middle of the big bed.
Jensen stood there in the door like an idiot, but he didn’t want to wake Jared up, if he’d managed to find some rest. Just when he was about to leave and close the door behind him, Jared rolled around and looked at Jensen,
“Jen? Watcha doing here?”
“Just wanted to see if I could help you out.”
“Jensen I can’t get pregnant again, I just-”
Jensen raised his hands placatingly. “No, that’s not what I meant. But you smell so fucking good baby, and maybe it helps if I touch you.”
Indecisive, Jared chewed on his lip, before he nodded. “Okay, yeah, maybe you can-” Jared suddenly broke off, throwing his head back. “Shit, I think I need another glass.”
Jensen quickly went down to the kitchen where Kim had already prepared another glass of the light green liquid. It smelled slightly sweet and a bit tangy and Jensen was glad he wasn't the one who had to drink that.
When he went back into the bedroom, Jared’s face was flushed and he was rubbing his ass against them mattress.
“Alright, there you go,” Jensen said, sitting down on the bed and helping Jared drink. He almost went crazy with want, the scent of Jared intensifying by the second.
A soon as Jared was done drinking, he practically assaulted Jensen, climbed into his lap and bit at his mouth.
“Fuck, Jensen please, do something.”
Jensen tried to get Jared under control somehow, but it wasn’t easy to get six-feet-four of heat addled, squirming omega on his back in the bed, especially when Jensen’s own dick was pressing painfully against his zipper, already leaking and knot starting to swell.
“Shit, Jared, settle. C’mon, it’ll be better in a minute.”
Jared was still trying to rub himself against Jensen, eyes glassy and it took him a while to come out of his heat craze.
“Thanks,” he finally managed to get out and Jensen nodded.
“Welcome. But baby, if you want me to stay here with you, you gotta do something, because…”
Jared was already on him, ripping his pants open and eyeing his dick hungrily. “I know we can’t fuck,” he said, “but I really need that in me.”
Jensen swallowed and leaned back. “Like I would say no to a blowjob. But what about you?”
Jared pointed to the nightstand. “Brought a toy,” he managed to get out, just before he sucked Jensen into his mouth.
“Holy fuck!” Jensen needed a moment to get used to the sudden sensation of Jared’s hot mouth on his dick, before he could reach into the nightstand and pull out the knotting dildo Jared had to help him sleep during his heats.
The maneuvering was a bit difficult, especially because Jared seemed unwilling to stop sucking Jensen’s dick, but Jensen managed to get Jared’s hips level with his face and both of them rolled onto their sides. Jared was already naked and Jensen just pushed his upper leg up to his chest so he could work the dildo in and out of Jared’s wet hole.
“Fuck, so pretty,” Jensen said, staring where the dildo disappeared into Jared’s body, the big knot pressing against Jared’s rim.
“C’mon,” Jared ground out, continuing to massage Jensen’s knot. “No teasing, Jen, I need…”
Jensen pushed the knot inside and Jared moaned around Jensen’s dick. The sight of the big knot splitting Jared open and the filthy sounds he made was all it took for Jensen to come all over Jared’s face.
Jared moaned, pressing his ass against Jensen’s hand and through his post-orgasmic haze Jensen did his best to twist the dildo inside of Jared to help him find relief.
“C’mon, baby,” he said, voice rough, “come for me.”
Jared’s back arched and he came with a shout.
Sitting up, Jensen took off his sticky shirt and pulled a pliant Jared up against his chest.
“You want to leave the toy in for a while?” he asked and Jared made a satisfied sound, cuddling up against Jensen.
Jensen leaned back against the headboard and played with Jared’s hair. “Alright, you’re alright. Just rest, sweetie.”
It was hard to keep track of time. Jared lived in his own little bubble and he had no intention of stepping out. He was happy going from day to day, not planning or thinking ahead and not looking back.
They lived in a house that held no bad memories and those of his past seemed almost like a dream now. Sure, he still thought of that time occasionally, when a glass broke or a door slammed. Jared still flinched then, but it was more of an afterthought, a flinch and then thinking, hey, why did I do that? Oh right, there was that one time when-
Sometimes, there were quiet moments, when Jensen read to Jem, and Jared had a flash of his father reading to him. Sometimes, when Kim would stand in the kitchen, humming while she cooked and Jared had a flash of his mother singing for him. But those memories he’d banned so long ago, buried deep so he wouldn’t despair every time he thought of his family, they seemed almost surreal by now.
It had been nearly four years since Social Services Omega Division had entered his home and taken him away from the only place that had ever offered him safety. He never thought back. He couldn’t. Not if he wanted a shot at being content with his life. Or even happy.
He’d never thought it could happen again, but his children gave hima pure joy that made him want to live this life, as horrible as it was. And Jensen… the alpha remained a constant source of frustration and affection. Obviously, he cared deeply for Jared and there were days when Jared returned his affection gladly. Why should he not take the good and block out the bad? There was nothing he could do, nothing he could say. Jensen had come as far as he would ever go, and Jared just made the best of it. After all, most of the time Jensen treated him like an equal partner. And when he didn’t, Jared went to his children, letting their laughter brighten his mood, letting their scent calm him and their kisses soothe his soul.
So life went on. His children grew. Jem started to talk. The twins started to walk and Jared faced a whole new challenge: two walking toddlers.
Jensen’s work continued to come in phases. Projects, some big, some small, took up his alpha’s time. Over time, Jared gleamed distinctions. There were old, valued business partners Jensen even went to lunch with, there were new contacts that most of the time Jensen bitched about and then there were the assignments he never talked about, except to roll his eyes and say “fucking regulation crazy government”.
The topic of more children, it seemed, had been dropped. Doctor Beaver still hadn’t given the all-clear, concerned with the scar tissue that had grown excessively in the tears Jared had sustained during the birth of the twins. Jared was fine with that, he didn’t want to risk having another omega and Jensen seemed quite happy to only have three screaming kids. He might want more kids as soon as Jem and the twins had grown up a bit, but Jared didn’t think about that. And maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to talk him out of it.
Time flowed on, lulling Jared into a rhythm, a sense of security. Most of the time, he could make peace with it all. He should have known that it couldn’t last. There was always the other shoe waiting to drop.
This time, it dropped the day after the twin’s one-year birthday.
The doorbell rang when Jared was in the laundry room. The twins were taking a nap upstairs and Kim had taken Jem out to the playground. Jensen was dozing on the couch, probably trying to enjoy the peace and quiet. Jared heard Jensen make a displeased sound and grumble all the way to the front door.
Jared closed the door of the laundry room almost all the way, only leaving a small spalt through which he could hear. Someone showing up unannounced in their home was highly unusual. Two sets of steps were walking into the living room and then he heard Jensen say, “please, have a seat.”
His alpha sounded polite but on guard, and Jared couldn’t help his curiosity and peeked through the opening. Across from Jensen in the armchair, there was another alpha. He was wearing a non-descript black suit, carrying a non-descript briefcase and his face was so generic, Jared couldn’t find a single noteworthy thing. The man wasn’t displaying any emotion at all, his expression strangely aloof. Jared decided to call him Agent Smith. The Matrix was not a movie shown on television, but his parents had owned an old scratched up version on it, that hung at the scene where Neo woke up. Jared doubted that either Jensen or Mr. Smith had ever seen the movie.
“Mr. Ackles,” Agent Smith said, opening a little black notebook in his lap, “you have two adult omegas living with you, is that correct?”
“Yes,” Jensen said stiffly. He clearly didn’t like Agent Smith. “Jared, my own chipped one, and Kim, a permanent hire from Kripke Services.”
Agent Smith checked something off in his notebook. Jared thought it was strange someone obviously sent by a government institution would use something as old-fashioned as a notebook, but then, he had given up a long time ago of understanding the people in charge.
“And you have three children birthed by your omega, yet you are not married.” From his tone, it was clear Agent Smith did not approve.
Shit. Jared knew that their situation wasn’t the norm, but he’d never thought it might be a real problem.
Jensen just shrugged his shoulders though, not the least bit worried. “I just never found the right beta,” he explained easily. “Just like you, it seems,” he added, nodding pointedly at the Agent’s empty ring fingers.
Agent Smith harrumphed, jotted something down in his notebook and the frown on his face was the first emotion he showed.
“You’ve had your omega for almost four years now and he’s given you three children, one of which you’ve given up for adoption.”
“Four children,” Jensen corrected him.
Agent Smith looked up from his notes. “Three children. And one omega.”
Jared had to ball his hands to not to punch something very loudly and give his eavesdropping away. The only thing making it slightly bearable was that he could see Jensen was clenching his jaw, a tell tale sign of growing anger.
“Why are you here, Mr. Smith?” Jensen asked coldly and Jared almost laughed out loud. He couldn’t believe he’d actually been right about the name.
“I am here because the Omega Ministry has the impression that as an unattached alpha you don’t plan to have a lot of children, seeing how you gave one up for adoption and it has been over a year since your omega last gave birth and he’s not pregnant again yet.”
One year and one day, Jared thought incredulously. The Omega Ministry sure moved fast.
“So?” Jensen raised an eyebrow in a way that usually told Jared he was only moments away from being told off. “A chipped omega has to produce three children in five years, a ratio Jared has clearly fulfilled.”
Agent Smith smiled belittlingly. “Yes, of course. But your omega is obviously an excellent breeder and the government can’t let a specimen like this go to waste.”
Jared felt as if the ground had just been pulled out from under his feet. He leaned back against the wall and tried to just breathe. After everything, after how hard he’d fought to escape his old alpha, to get Jensen to treat him better, not being pregnant all the time, everything would now be in vain? Was he supposed to go to a new couple now, or even worse, a breeding farm?
“He’s still young,” Agent Smith continued. “Only twenty. He probably has more than fifteen years of fertility in him.”
“Yes, well, but it is my decision how he’s going to spend them,” Jensen said, his voice hard as steele. It gave Jared hope and he slowly turned back to peer through the door opening again
“Actually,” Agent Smith said with a sardonic smile on his face, “in special cases, exceptions can be made and an omega can be appropriated by the government.”
Jared closed his eyes. This was it. He’d be taken away from his children, his family. He’d go to some kind of horrible breeding facility and his life would become a nightmare again. Really, he didn’t even know why he was surprised.
There was a rustling sound and Jared opened his eyes again to see that Jensen had gotten up from the couch, looming over the Agent.
“You can’t take Jared away from me,” Jensen hissed.
Agent Smith had flinched back, but he quickly tried to compose himself. “You’ll find that the twenty-eighth amendment says we can. Procreation takes precedence over personal property.”
Jensen sat down again, glaring at Agent Smith in cold fury. “No, I meant you can’t, because I do plan on having more children. If you’d studied your notes right, you would’ve seen that I gave the first child away, because it wasn’t mine. Jared was already pregnant when I bought him, an unchipped and abandoned omega. Which, by the way, is something your ministry should maybe concern itself with instead of trying to bully upstanding citizens.”
To go back to why Jared isn’t pregnant yet, I haven’t bred him for over a year on doctors orders because the pregnancy and birth of the twins almost killed him and we could’ve risked infertility. I fully plan on breeding him again as soon as my doctor gives the all clear. So you can kindly fuck off now and stop threatening my property. I know my rights and while the twenty-eighth amendment gives you the right to take Jared away, the twenty-ninth amendment states that the government cannot interfere with procreation plans without cause for concern which is only reached after three years of disuse of a fertile womb and becomes an invalid claim after three successful pregnancies. Jared isn’t hired or loaned out on conditions, he is my property and the government can’t change that, however much they’d like to. I have fulfilled all lawful stipulations. I know my rights, Agent Smith.”
Agent Smith had gone rather pale during Jensen’s speech and now he stood up quickly. “Well, we’ll have to monitor your progress of course, but if it’s like that, we shouldn’t have a problem.”
Jensen nodded, eyes still blazing with fury and Agent Smith hurried out of the house. Jensen kept sitting on the couch, staring after Agent Smith, but as soon as the door closed, he sank back into the cushions, closing his eyes.
It was the exhaustion in Jensen’s voice that made Jared step into the living room. “Jensen?” he asked carefully.
Jensen reached his hand out for him. “C’mere.”
Jared went without thinking, climbing into Jensen's lap and curling himself together there, like he hadn’t done in years. “What’s going on?” he asked, trying to sound clueless.
Jensen gave a humorless chuckle and softly tugged on his ear. “Don’t lie to me, sweetie. I know you’ve been standing behind the door the whole time.”
Jared froze. “Oh. Uhm, sorry?”
This time, Jensen really laughed. “Don’t even try sweetie, it’s okay. This was about you, you deserve to know.”
There was a long beat of silence but Jared needed to know. “Did you mean it? What you said to Agent Smith about having more kids?”
“Well,” Jensen answered slowly. “I definitely wouldn’t mind one or two more. But having a break in between is actually really nice and it’s your decision too. Besides, I can’t stand how the government gets involved in our private life. But the Omega ministry is difficult, I’ll need to talk to a lawyer to see how to best handle this.”
“Just,” Jared started, but he didn’t know how to continue. For the first time Jensen seemed to get him though, because he drew Jared tighter into his arms and said, “Don’t worry, sweetie, I’ll never let them take you away from us.”
The visit to his lawyer didn’t really put Jensen’s mind at ease. Yes, three pregnancies in five years, but with the twins and giving birth to a healthy child every year, Jared had put himself into the class of High Productivity Omegas, for which the law did make exceptions.
“Basically, it comes down to this,” Alaina explained, “you comply, give them a few more kids, maybe two, and you should be fine. You have good connections with the government, if the OM harrasses you again, just pull the national security card. But first you have to show them you want to cooperate, be a good, procreating citizen. If you shut them out now, you'll have nothing but trouble. With thirty-five, you can’t play the age card yet, and won’t be able to for another fifteen years really. Jared is young and will be healthy again and you have enough money to feed ten kids and put them through college. Besides, you can always sell the omegas.”
Jensen crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I’m not selling my kids.”
Alaina just raised an eyebrow. “Whatever. You asked me for my legal opinion and that’s it. Breed your omega, and if they come after you again we can sue them for harassment, saying you’re already going above and beyond for this country. If they still try to take your omega away, we can argue you won’t ever marry because you work so much, and the children need continuity growing up. Although I really don’t know why you would go through all this trouble for an omega.”
“And it’s none of your business,” Jensen said. “Just make sure I get to keep him.”
Alaina shook her head disapprovingly. “At least make sure you do more government work. Make yourself indispensible and they’ll be more lenient. And Jensen, I won’t ask what’s got you so attached to your omega, I know there’s some kinky shit going on out there, but there have been isolated instances of omega rights sympathisers. I don’t need to tell you that they were deported and the omegas sent to breeding farms. Europe might have omega protection laws, but here even the tiniest attempt to change any laws pertaining procreation is beaten down immediately. Don’t even give them the idea you could be in bed with those libertarian traitors. ”
Jensen raised his hands defensively. “I have nothing to do with those weirdos,” he said. Sure, he might treat Jared differently, but Jared was different.
“Just making sure you have your head on straight.”
“Don’t worry. I just don’t want to go through the trouble of breaking in another omega. And the kids love him.”
Jensen didn't say that he loved Jared too. He knew that that was something he could never articulate. He tried not to think about that when he left Alaina’s office. Tried not to think about what this meant for his relationship with Jared and how the government dealt with omegas. There was just a certain way to battling the population decrease, and if there was another way, the government would’ve found it before. They didn’t fund the research center at Harvard with billions of dollars every year for nothing. The sharpest minds of their country had come up with their system. So there were exceptions, and so Jared was lucky he’d ended up with Jensen. No solution was ever perfect, and there were always those who had to suffer for the greater good.
Jensen hated that that hollow feeling in his gut didn’t go away. Instead it settled in there, a nauseating pressure, not letting Jensen forget a single doubt he’d ever had.
He rigorously ignored that feeling and got on the matter of dealing with the problem at hand.
On the way home, Jensen first called Mark Sheppard, his National Security Ministry contact to let him know that he did after all have time to work on the new project. Then he called Speight Industries to tell them he couldn’t take on their new location, even though he’d really looked forward to working on that. But he had absolutely no intention of having to talk to Mr. Smith again.
His last call was to Doctor Beaver’s office for another check-up appointment for Jared. It was time to see if Jared could be bred again. Thinking about it, Jensen was rather glad it had come to this. He knew Jared wouldn't be thrilled, but he’d come around. Their children were such a joy and such a blessing - yeah, Jared would be happy about another child eventually. And Jensen could not wait to see Jared pregnant again.
Unfortunately Jared did not share that sentiment.
“Jensen, I don’t… what if it’s another omega? It’s bad enough that Maggie might have to suffer through what I did, I can’t-”
“Sweetie, it’s alright,” Jensen tried to calm Jared down. The omega was pacing their living room angrily, long legs eating up the distance like it was nothing. “Look, we’ll set up a Trust of Ownership for Maggie, there are ways to make sure she stays in the family. They might have to have her bred, but she can live with Jem or Davie and she’ll be fine. I mean, you’re happy with our kids, aren’t you?”
Jensen knew it was a dirty trick but he needed to get Jared on board.
“Of course I love our kids,” Jared said indignantly, “but…”
“No buts. You’ll love another one as well and you know it. Jared, we have the space and the money, and honestly, with that sign of faith we can get the Omega Ministry off our backs. Or do you want them to come back?”
Jared's shoulders sagged and he stopped pacing. “No, of course I don't. I just…” Jared made a vague gesture with his hand. “I don’t even know why, it’s fucking stupid.”
Jensen didn’t reply and he didn’t stop Jared from walking out into the garden. Obviously he needed space. Jensen sighed and consoled himself with the fact that Jared would love their child with all his heart.
Jared stared at the little monitor. A girl. His baby was a girl. He was only four months along, so while they could see that the baby would be female, there was no way of telling if she would be a beta or an omega.
Jensen squeezed his hand. “It’s going to be fine, sweetie.”
Jared didn’t reply. He hadn’t wanted to risk it, hadn’t wanted to bring any child into his world, but Jensen’s reasoning about keeping the Omega Ministry off their backs was sound.
Driving home, Jared thought back to those conversations. He’d accepted it at first, but then something in him had snapped. He just had to fight for this poor unborn baby. There had been screaming and tears, until Jensen had finally sat him down and told him everything his lawyer had told him. Jared had agreed. He’d also for the first time really asked Jensen about his work. Jensen had tried to brush him off, but if Jensen was involved with the government, Jared needed to know.
“I’m not part of the government,” Jensen had explained. “I’m an independent contractor. I do security evaluations for industrial and government facilities.”
“Breeding farms?” Jared had asked, almost unable to get the words out.
Jensen had shaken his head. “No. I mostly do production sites. Weapons, cars, heavy machinery, that kind of thing. I make sure security standards comply with construction regulations, and if they don’t I make plans to fix them. Sometimes I help to implement them in a new building as well.”
“And that’s going to help you keep the Omega Ministry away?”
“I just landed a contract with a private security company who does military work for the government. Trust me, we’ll be fine.”
Jared just hoped Jensen was right. His alpha certainly worked hard for it, and during his pregnancy, Jared saw almost nothing of Jensen.
Kim and he took care of the kids and the house, and Jensen disappeared into his study for hours, only to emerge for meals. He stopped taking time for the kids, and Jared was pissed. Jensen was so absorbed, he didn’t even register Jared’s bad mood.
“Fucking oblivious alpha,” Jared grumbled and Kim shook her head.
“You do realize that Jem is old enough to understand that kind of language, right?”
“I know, I just… No matter how he treated me, he was always a good father. It just really pisses me off when he ignores the kids.”
“Why daddy pissed?” Jem asked, suddenly walking into the kitchen.
“Shit,” Jared said and Jem tilted his head.
“Shit,” he repeated.
“Jem, that is a bad word, and you don’t want to say a bad word, right?”
“Shit,” Jem said again, grinning widely. “Shit, shit shit.”
Kim rolled her eyes, but smiled. “Now you’ve done it.”
Jared sighed and followed his oldest into the living room. Maybe he could distract him with something else to forget that new word.
The pregnancy didn’t give Jared any trouble this time around, but three kids were still a lot to handle. Jem was infinitely curious about Jared’s growing belly and Jared did everything in his power to instill love and loyalty into Jem in case the baby would turn out omega. There just weren’t enough precautions in the world he could take.
Jensen might think he could put an Ownership Trust into place, make arrangements, but Jared still remembered when Social Services had come for him. He was sure his parents had taken precautions as well.
Or maybe they hadn't, a nasty little voice in his head said. Maybe they thought they would’ve left the country by then.
Vigorously, Jared pushed these thoughts away. It wouldn’t help thinking about that now. He would just have to be more successful. Finding a way to get out of the country would be hard, impossible if Jensen wasn’t onboard, and Jared didn’t know if he could convince Jensen. He would just have to do his best to make Jensen see it was the only option to keep Maggie safe. Jared knew that the time for that conversation hadn’t come yet though. He would have to bide his time, guide Jensen where he wanted them to go. There was no sense stressing about it yet.
So instead he focused on his family. Jensen obsessed with Jared’s growing belly, couldn’t keep his hands off it. Jared had enough horny phases that he appreciated it and they had more sex than they’d been having for a while.
When Jensen finally complained that Jared was wearing him out, Jared just snorted. “That’s because you’re getting old.”
For the next two hours Jensen proceeded to show Jared how not old he was getting and by the end of it, Jared was a sweaty, begging mess unable to focus on anything but Jensen’s knot finally breaching him.
At the park, Alona and Katie cooed over his growing belly. While Katie’s joy was genuine, there was something off about Alona. She excused herself almost immediately after Jared had shown up with the twins.
“Is she alright?” Jared asked Katie worriedly.
“It’s just hard for her to see you so successful,” Katie explained. “With me, it’s different, I’m already twenty-eight, so it’s normal that it takes me longer to conceive, but Alona has been without a successful breeding for her last three heats. She’s afraid the family will get rid of her.”
“What? But she can still stay with them and raise the kids.”
Katie shrugged. “Yeah maybe. Not everybody wants an omega around though. You don’t understand,” she tacked on, almost as an afterthought. “You’re lucky your alpha isn’t married yet. Most betas don’t like their husbands breeding us too often.”
Katie bit her lip immediately. “I shouldn’t have said that. That was not… I didn’t mean to speak ill of betas. And especially my mistress is always so kind to me, the other day…”
While Katie launched into another tale of a meaningless reward, Jared’s eyes strayed to all the other omegas in the park. How many would have to leave their families? Jared was indeed very lucky.
It occurred to him only when he was walking home, pushing the twin’s stroller slowly through the sprawling suburbs, that he was actually grateful to Jensen for saving him. It should have outraged him, should’ve horrified him, but Jared found he was too tired to care.
Jared’s contractions woke him in the middle of the night. They were already pretty strong and he wasted no time waking Jensen.
His alpha didn’t protest, just grabbed Jared’s bag, went to check up on Jem and the twins before he woke Kim, telling her they were leaving.
Jared shook his head and Jensen looked at him questioningly. “What?”
“The first time I went into labour, you actually slept through most of my contractions.”
Jensen glared at him. It had become an unspoken rule that they didn’t talk about how bad Jensen had treated Jared in the beginning. Sometimes Jared couldn’t keep from those little jabs though. Usually Jensen said noting or tried to played it down. This time he just grabbed the car keys.
Jared’s daughter was a healthy, beautiful little beta girl. Jared felt tears of relief running down his face and even Jensen looked visibly relieved.
She had a shock of blond hair that would probably fall out soon and the biggest blue eyes.
Jensen smiled, already completely in love and took her tiny hand. “Let’s call her Joy.”
“Another name starting with a J?” Jared asked.
Jensen looked up at him. “I hadn't even thought about that. Why not though?” He grinned like a little kid.
Jared looked down at his daughter. A beta. “Okay. Joy it is. But Jensen?”
“It’s enough. I can’t take a risk like this again.”
Jensen took Jared’s hand and squeezed. “Okay.”
“Tell me again why I thought another baby would be a good idea?” Jensen asked without raising his head from the pillow when Joy had her third colic attack of the night.
Jared slowly got out of bed. “Because we live in a totalitarian society where you have no say over your own family.”
Jensen’s response was a soft snoring. Jared shook his head and went to the nursery. Kim had taken the first shift, now it was Jared’s turn. Sure, technically he could let Kim handle it all, and she’d gladly do it, still eternally grateful that she’d been the omega assigned to work for Jensen, but Jared just couldn’t take advantage of her like that.
When he’d told her, Kim had smiled at him and shaken her head. “Oh, Jared. I don’t know how you can still be like this.”
Kim had reached up and put her hand against his cheek. “So good. Do you know in how many households I worked where the breeding omega ordered me around like I was beneath them?”
Jared had shaken his head. “How could they do that?”
“Everything to feel a little bit of control.”
Jared tried not to think about that while he picked Joy up, walking with her through the nursery, waiting for her to calm down. It was bad enough that omegas were oppressed by alphas and betas, but a rift between omegas and omegas… no wonder their society was going nowhere fast.
When Joy finally stopped crying, Jared put her back to bed. He turned around to find Jensen leaning against the doorframe, hair mussed and a sleepy smile on his face.
“Why are you up?” Jared asked.
“I like seeing you with the kids when you think no one’s watching.”
The words made something warm spread through Jared’s stomach, something that had no business being there.
“You know how creepy that sounds, right?” Jared asked with a scoff, trying to push past Jensen, but his alpha stopped him with an arm around his waist.
Jensen pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Don’t try to push me away like this. I’m trying my best here, and you just… Will you ever be able to let it go?”
Jared looked at Jensen, surprised. “We are having this conversation now?”
Jensen shrugged his shoulders. “Seems as good a time as any. Ever since you became pregnant, you keep pulling away. I thought it would be better a soon as you knew Joy would be a beta, but-”
“But you couldn’t know that,” Jared interrupted him. “You didn’t know that and we still had to take the risk.”
Jensen sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. “And you know why. So can we get past this already?”
And there it was again, the ever present entitlement to Jared’s emotional state. Jared closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Learn to pick your battles, he’d promised himself. He would need every bit of influence he had over Jensen to eventually get him to leave for Europe to save Maggie. He could forgive Jensen this, if that meant getting him on his good side.
Jared cleared his throat. “Yeah. It’s just… It’s just hard. Maggie….” He trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished on purpose. Giving Jensen something to think about.
For a moment, a shadow crossed Jensen’s face and Jared knew it was working. All the small hints he put into their conversations, casually mentioning Maggie’s omega status every chance he got, Jensen started thinking about it. Who knew, a few more years, and Jensen would realize there was no other way than relocation.
Jem’s first day of kindergarten was another milestone in Jared’s subtle fight.
“He’s growing up so fast,” Jensen said almost wistfully, while they watched Jem follow his kindergarten teacher into their classroom.
Jared couldn’t suppress his grin. “I know.”
“Thank god we just had Joy. Just think what happens when the twins go to kindergarten as well and the house would be completely empty every day. Whatever would we do?” Jensen waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Jared was just about to go for a playful reply when he realized something. Jensen had obviously forgotten a vital part of their society and Jared thought it was a good sign.
“Yeah,” he said carefully, “except Maggie won’t go to kindergarten.”
Jensen looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Of course she will, don’t be silly.”
“Jensen, she’s omega. Omegas don’t go to kindergarten.” When Jensen's face fell, Jared decided to push on. “She won’t go to kindergarten. And when Jem and Davie go to elementary school, she won’t go either. When they’re old enough to go to junior high, she’ll be able to go to an omega school for three years, but then she’ll have to stay home while Jem and Davie go to highschool, to college. She’ll never be able to do any of that, not here.”
Jensen’s face hardened, but it gave nothing away. He looked at Jem’s little form, turning around to wave at his parents one last time before he disappeared inside.
“Let’s go home,” Jensen said and Jared was quiet, unable to read Jensen’s mood for once.
He didn’t push it further though that day, he was in it for the long run. He needed to be patient and let Jensen come to the conclusion himself. Jensen would never go along with giving his whole live up unless it was his own idea. Lately, it had seemed that Jensen might come around after all. Besides, they still had time. It would be another nine years before Maggie would have to attend omega school. Ever since the new laws were implemented a year ago, the home school option was off the table, so that was Jared’s deadline. Nine years.
He didn’t know that he would never find out of his plan would work. He didn’t know that his time would be up much quicker.
Shortly after Joy’s first birthday, Kim fell ill.
Out of nowhere, Kim just got a fever, started throwing up and had horrible stomach pains.
Jensen was out, one of the rare evenings he went to Chris’ place for beers and, as Jared had recently found out, college days reminiscing. Jared made tea, got the fever pills out of the medicine cabinet and held Kim’s hair while she vomited into the toilet.
Jem started making a fuss, unwilling to stay in his bed, but the tone in Jared’s voice when he carried him back to his room must’ve struck a cord, because Jem stayed put. Joy and the twins were already in bed, so Jared could help Kim clean up, guide her to her bed and bring her a bowl for more eventual puking.
He checked in on Jem, explaining that he had to be a good boy because Kim was sick.
“Remember when you had that bad tummy ache?” Jared asked and Jem nodded, scrunching up his face.
Jared couldn’t help but smile. “I know, that was bad, huh? Kim is feeling like that right now, so you have to be a good boy so she can rest.”
“Will you hold her hand? And give her medicine, so she gets better?”
Jared nodded and kissed Jem on the forehead. It wouldn’t be easy, omega insurance generally only paid for repairable things, like cuts and broken bones, and of course, pregnancy related issues. But it wouldn’t matter, he’d get Jensen to pay.
When Jared entered Kim’s room and saw her pale, sweaty and curled up in obvious pain on her bed, he wasn’t so sure medicine alone would cut it.
He got a wet washcloth from the bathroom and wiped Kim’s forehead.
“How are you doing?”
She gave him a tired smile. “Jared, I appreciate it, but we both know that this isn’t good.”
Jared shook his head. “Just a bad case of the flu.”
She looked at him, eyes feverish. “My belly has been hurting since this morning. Right here.” She pointed to her lower right side. “Don’t tell me you’ve never seen someone with an appendicitis.”
Jared swallowed dryly. “I had one when I was nine. I don’t remember much, but I remember that pain.”
Kim nodded. “Just know that I couldn’t have asked for a better place, a better family.”
“What are you talking about? You won’t die. Sure, appendicitis is nasty, but they can operate on you, it’s a standard procedure. You’ll be fine.”
Kim eyed him, pity in her eyes. “Jared, if you want to survive, you finally have to stop making the world how you want it to be. No doctor will perform an appendectomy on an old, infertile omega. It’s a waste of resources. So why don’t you be a good boy and sneak me a bit of Master’s whiskey. The pain is getting a tad uncomfortable.”
Downstairs, the front door opened.
“Sorry, but you can’t have alcohol before a surgery,” Jared said determinedly. “And no, I won’t stop making this world how I like it. Not when it comes to my family.”
Jared ran down the stairs as fast as he could, catching Jensen in the foyer.
“Kim is sick,” he said without preamble.
Jensen looked at him, eyebrow raised in surprise. “Well, hello to you to.” Jensen’s voice was mellow, he’d probably had a few beers and was in a good mood.
“Jensen, it’s serious. She’s really sick, she needs to see a doctor.”
Jensen sighed. “It’s the middle of the night, Jared.”
“She’s throwing up, she’s in pain and her temperature is 104°,” Jared said, counting every point with his fingers.
Jensen walked past him in the direction of the kitchen. “Please tell me there are still some meatloaf left-overs?” He asked, already rooting around in the fridge.
“Did you not hear me?” Jared asked incredulous. “Kim is seriously sick.”
Jensen slammed the fridge door shut, empty handed. “I heard you, Jared. I’ll order some broad-spectrum O-antibiotics and she’ll be fine. Now there’s obviously no more meatloaf, so do we have anything else to eat?”
Jared took a deep breath. It would get him nowhere to yell now. “I can heat up some lasagna, if you want, but that's going to take a while, because it’s still frozen. If you want something quick I can make you a sandwich or grilled cheese.”
Jensen smiled like a little kid, corners of his eyes crinkling. “Grilled cheese,” he said and sat down at the little kitchen table.
Jared got busy with the bread and the cheese, waited until he had the pan on the stove and then turned to Jensen.
“Jensen, what if it’s worse? What if it’s something that can’t be cured with antibiotics?”
“What are you talking about?”
“When I was a kid, I had the exact same symptoms and it was my appendix. If Kim has an appendicitis, she needs surgery.”
Jensen sighed. “Jared, she’s an infertile omega. No doctor is going to perform surgery on her. It’s a waste of time and resources.”
For a moment Jared was shocked speechless. It had been a long time since Jensen had said something so incredibly ignorant and for him to repeat the exact same indoctrinated words Kim had said earlier, it catapulted Jared right back to the beginning as if every fight he’d fought the last four years hadn’t happened.
Finally Jared found his voice again. “You want to let her die?”
“I didn’t say that,” Jensen said defensively.
“No, you did not,” Jared said decisively. “Because you will take Kim to a doctor and if she has something serious, you’ll get them to operate on her. I dont care how much money you have to spend, but she is not dying. She is my friend and she’s like an aunt to the kids.”
“Don’t Jared me! Call Doctor Beaver and make him see her. She’s not dying.”
Jensen looked at him for a long time, but then he went to pick up the phone.
Of course, Doctor Beaver wouldn’t get out of bed for an omega emergency. Jared spend the night at Kim’s bedside, watching over her.
He was tired the next morning, and pissed, especially when he realized he needed to stay home with the kids. There was just no way they could take them to the practice with them.
“Promise me, Jensen,” Jared said when they had managed to get a half-delirious Kim into the car. “Don’t let her die, no matter what it costs.”
Jensen nodded, and shot Kim a worried look. He drove off with squealing tires.
Jared tried to distract himself, tried to focus on the kids, but he burned breakfast and spilled Joy’s milk.
When Jensen came back two hours later, Jared was a nervous wreck.
“And?” he asked impatiently when Jensen hadn’t even closed the door behind him.
“You were right, she does have appendicitis,” Jensen said wearily and took Joy from Jared’s arms. “Hey, babygirl, how are you today, hmm? You being a good girl for mommy?”
“Jim was reluctant to refer her to a clinic for surgery,” Jensen continued. “I had to call in every favor in the book and pay them an outrageous amount of money, seriously, I could’ve bought a new car, but they’ll do it and if everything goes well, we’ll be able to get Kim from the clinic in five days.”
“And of course we’re going to visit her tomorrow,” Jared said.
Jensen gave Jared an exasperated look, but he didn’t protest.
Without Kim, life was a lot more stressful. Jared had forgotten how hard it was to remember everything that needed to be done while keeping his extremely energetic kids happy, from hurting themselves, or - even more likely - destroying the house.
Jem was down for his nap, but Davie refused to go to sleep. That in turn kept Maggie awake and Jared needed to rest. During the night, Joy had had another fit of colics.
When Jensen came into the nursery, Jared just put Davie into his arms.
“Please make him go to sleep.”
Jensen clucked disapprovingly at his crying son, then he started rocking him carefully and walking out the door with him. Before it closed, Jared could hear Jensen sing the first tunes of Angie.
Without her brother crying Maggie fell asleep quickly, and Jensen came back five minutes later, Davie sleeping soundly in his arms. After putting his son to bed, Jensen kneeled down in front of Jared who had plopped down exhausted in the rocking chair.
Jensen picked up Jared’s left foot and slowly started to massage it.
Jared closed his eyes and hummed. They kept sitting there like that, Jared slowly drifting off while Jensen gave him a heavenly footrub. The quiet lasted for about ten minutes, until Jem woke from his nap and decided he needed immediate attention.
Jensen stood up, giving Jared a soft kiss. “I’m gonna take care of him. Why don’t you go and have a real nap.”
Jared managed to drag himself into their bedroom and collapsed into the bed. His last thought before falling asleep was that sometimes, it just felt so fucking real.
They went to visit Kim in the hospital, and Jared was glad to see that Jensen genuinely cared about her well-being, and it wasn’t only because Jensen had to help out more with the kids while she was in the hospital.
When they brought her home after five days, Kim hesitated, then turned to Jensen.
“Sir, I just wanted to thank you. So much. I know that this is not how it’s done and I just wanted you to know that I appreciate it and will spend the rest of my life thanking you for it.”
Jensen nodded graciously. “You’re doing an excellent job, Kim, and the kids love you. I gladly paid for your care.”
“You didn’t need to do that,” Jared said angrily when Jensen had left. “He had to pay, he couldn’t just let you die.”
Kim sighed. “I know. But you know how the world works and Jensen taking care of me like that, it’s not normal.”
“But it’s right! It shouldn't even be a discussion.”
“Yes, Jared. But don’t you get it? Either Jensen keeps me on, or I go out into the workforce again, work until I can’t anymore and then go back to the farms, where I will spend the rest of my life helping out miserable omegas degraded to birthing machines. And when I can’t work anymore, I’ll have to rely on the other’s compassion to keep me fed and alive. This, here with you - it’s a dream come true. And I know you hate all this, but I am thankful, Jared. I can’t hate Jensen.”
Jared slumped down on the couch. “It’s not like I can hate the bastard either.”
“Do you love him?” Kim asked after a short pause. She’d never asked him before.
“Sometimes,” Jared said. “Sometimes I forget I’m just a slave and then I can love him. I don’t want to, but whenever it’s just us, like the world out there doesn’t exist, then yeah, I love him. And then I hate myself for being so weak.”
“Don’t do that to yourself. Why can’t you just let it go, Jared?”
“Because if I do that, I might as well curl up in a corner and die.”
Kim shook her head sadly, but thankfully dropped the subject.
The dragonfruit plants grew and throve. The fresh plants were much more effective in curbing Jared’s heat than the store bought ones. His heats were still annoying, inconvenient, but he didn’t feel like he was dying anymore.
With Jem making friends at kindergarten, Jared suddenly had to go to children’s birthday parties and playdates. Meeting other omegas was depressing. Jared knew he was lucky, but he’d never realized how right Katie had been when she’d told him how different it was to live in an alpha-beta household. The omegas were truly relegated to a server's role and the children were taught they were just that. Only very few of the kids were as affectionate with their omegas as they were with their parents.
Jared met only very few omegas that were treated well by their owners. There was Cindy, a pretty omega in her thirties. She’d given birth to seven kids, and with such a large family, she was heavily involved in care-taking and raising. Her alpha and her beta seemed to be genuinely nice people, and Jared enjoyed talking to her. She didn’t have that expression of constant fear branded into her face.
He also met Osric, a young omega, taken in by the family more as a pleasure pet than a breeder. They already had four kids - Dustin, the middle son had become Jem’s good friend - and the omega-parent had long been sold. Osric was there to help with the kids, but mainly to look pretty. Jared visited their home a few times for playdays and Osric wore skimpy clothing, circling around his owners legs like a horny cat, getting pets and cuddles. When Jared and Osric were alone in the kitchen to clean up the dishes, Osric told Jared that he slept in their giant bed every night and that they loved to play with him together.
“Do you like it?” Jared asked.
Osric’s eyes glinted when he answered. “Are you kidding me? It’s absolute heaven!”
Jared wanted to ask what would happen to Osric when he wasn’t young and pretty anymore, but he refrained. No sense of raining on Osric's parade when there was nothing they could do about it anyway.
“You know,” Osric continued, “I’m really glad I met you. I can’t talk to the others about this, they all get so jealous. But your alpha adores you, so you understand.”
Jared nodded, not sure what he could reply to that.
“I was wondering,” Osric said, nervously looking to the door to make sure they were alone. “I’ve only been with them for half a year, but you’ve been with your alpha for so long…. What do you do to keep him interested?”
“What do you mean?” Jared asked confused.
Osric winked. “You know, sex. Do you have like a special blowjob technique? I mean, I was a good student in omega school and alpha and beta have a lot of educational videos, I was just wondering if you have like a special trick or something?”
Jared looked into Osric’s expectant eyes and hoped somebody would walk into the door. When no one did and Osric was still waiting for an answer, he sighed.
“Well, if you’ve never done that, you can try a deep tissue knot massage.”
And that was how Jared came to talk sex with Osric. It amused him more than he thought it would and it was refreshingly different to his usual conversations. Besides, Osric was quite the hedonist and his owners indulged him, so Jared learned a few more things that gave pleasure to omegas.
Jensen was never hard to convince to try out new things and reviving their sexlife brought them closer together once again. Jared told himself that he needed Jensen to love him as much as possible to get him on his side, but the truth was that Jared revelled in this deepening of their relationship. He didn’t know how he’d come to be so optimistic, but with the way Jensen treated him and doted on Maggie, Jared couldn’t help but be hopeful.
He really should’ve known better.
Jared and Kim still went to the park fairly often, taking the twins and Joy in their strollers and Jared chatted with Katie. Alona was absent for a few months and when she came back with her oldest - over two years old now - she was pale and thin.
“I had a miscarriage,” she admitted, her voice nothing more than a whisper.
Katie hugged her immediately. “I’m so sorry, Alona. But it happens to the best of us.”
Alona’s eyes filled with tears. “I know. But, but beta wants more children and if I don’t get pregnant during my next heat, they’re going to sell me to be able to afford another omega.”
“That’s horrible,” Jared said and Katie nodded. “But look at Kim, she’s a working omega and she has a good life,” he added, trying to cheer Alona up.
It had the opposite effect, because Alona started crying openly. Between little sobs and hiccups she finally managed to tell them that she’d overheard her alpha and beta talking and that they would get the best price for her at a bordello.
They were silent for a while. Jared couldn't even imagine how horrible that would be. Just a warm body to be passed around by everybody who couldn’t afford an omega but wanted to fuck one.
“But your chances of getting pregnant there are higher,” Jared said, trying to put a positive spin on a desperate situation. “So maybe you’ll get out of there quickly.”
Alona stared at him aghast and Katie glared.
“Jared,” Kim said softly, “omegas impregnated in a bordello become wardens of the Omega Ministry. They go to the farms.”
Jared felt like he’d been punched in the gut. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry, Alona, I didn’t know.”
There was no fate more horrible than the breeding farms, everybody knew that.
Alona nodded, wiping her tears away. “I’ll just get pregnant during my next heat. And then I will take real good care of my body and not miscarry.”
Katie nodded, but it was obvious she didn’t believe it. “Sure, honey. You’ll be fine, you see.”
On the way home, Jared couldn’t stop thinking about Alona and what would happen to her. She was a good person with a kind heart and she didn’t deserve what would happen to her. No one would deserve that.
“We need to help her,” Jared said and he meant it.
Kim looked at him in surprise. “Jared, there’s nothing we can do.”
“Jensen could buy her.”
“He would never and you know it,” Kim said.
“You don’t know that. He’s come so far, I just… I wanted to wait, wanted to get him there slowly, so he’d take us away from here, but I can’t let Alona go to a whorehouse, not if there’s something I can do about it.”
Kim shook her head pityingly. “I didn’t know you cared about Alona so much.”
“I don’t. But that’ not what matters. She doesn’t deserve it and I can’t let this happen to her. I can’t just stand by. I need to try, Kim. ”
Kim said nothing, but her expression told Jared she didn’t think it was a good idea. No matter. Jared couldn’t stand by while Alona was carted off to a brothel like a cattle to slaughter.
“I said no, Jared.” Jensen had his arms cross over his chest. “I’m sorry that your little friend is going to be sold, but that’s none of our business.”
“But Jensen, she’ll be miserable,” Jared tried again. He had hoped, dammit, and Jensen was not allowed to disappoint him again.
“Who is this Alona anyway? I’ve never heard you talk about her before. She can’t be that important.”
Jared gasped. “That’s not even- I never talked about her before because I didn’t think you’d care. And it doesn’t matter how good a friend she is. You should care that she’s being sold like cattle to do nothing but spread her legs every day.”
Jensen sighed. “Jared, she’s an omega. She likes to have sex. Plus, she won’t have to work anymore. Life in a brothel is actually perfect for common omega disposition.”
“You know that that’s a fucking lie!” Jared spit out. He could see Kim hovering in the door behind them and when she caught Jared's eye she motioned with her hand, indicating she’d go upstairs with the kids. Jared was glad for it. This was nothing they needed to hear.
“No.” Jared couldn’t take it anymore. “It’s all lies. And I can’t believe that you’re still buying it, when I’m disproving it every fucking day!”
Clearly exasperated, Jensen shook his head. “Sweetie, we had this discussion a thousand times, and I can’t believe we’re still talking about this. You’re the exception. You’re special, okay? Omegas in general, they’re just not. Centuries of living together, don’t you think that people by know have figured out that omegas are instinct-driven, dim-witted, aimless creatures? They can be formed into good workers, but without a firm guidance, they’d never be productive members of society.”
“That is such a load of bullshit!” Jared was shouting, but he couldn’t keep it down. “Do I look fucking dim-witted to you? Does Kim? Is Maggie any different from any of our kids?”
“Of course she’s not, Maggie has your genes!”
Jared was completely aghast by the stupidity of the argument. “Can’t you see that this whole fucking argument doesn’t make any sense at all? The government is fucking brainwashing you!”
“And this is why omegas are treated the way they are,” Jensen said and his voice got a nasty tone. “You just don’t understand. Jared, omegas are unintelligent and that’s the truth. Just look around you! And don’t try to fool me, I’ve seen the way you roll your eyes at all the omega-parents of Jem’s kindergarten friend. Even you think they’re stupid.”
“And why do you think that is?” Jared shouted. “Think back to the education you got. All the literature, math, history and everything. You learned to think, to summarize, to find information and to understand it. Do you know what omegas learn in school? How to cook. How to clean. How to give a blowjob. With that kind of education it's no wonder they seem stupid to you. Most of them don’t even learn to read!”
“And then we get constantly told that we're stupid and can't do anything anyway. And if people tell you your whole life what you can and can't do, of course you believe it. I mean, look at you!”
Jensen took a deep breath. “Jared, it's very noble that you want to see your species like that, but you're the exception to the rule.”
“No. First of, we're not a different species, we're a gender, because believe it or not, we're all human and secondly, I'm not the exception I'm just what every omega could be with the right education and parents. What Maggie can be if we save her.”
Jensen froze. Jared wouldn’t - couldn’t - stop now.
“Or do you want people to think about her what you think about all the other omegas out there? Do you want people to think she’s stupid and nothing more than a breeding machine? That she’s just dim-witted and instinct driven? That she wants nothing but to be fucked? That they need to beat her when she does something wrong? Do you want her to live with some old, cruel alpha-”
“Enough!” Jensen was breathing heavily, eyes wild. “That’s enough.”
Jared took a deep breath. “No. It’s time you open your eyes, Jensen. You say you love Maggie, love her like you love our other kids? Then prove it by making sure she gets the same shot at a happy and free life.”
For a moment, Jensen stood still, then he spun around and walked out the door.
Jensen didn't know what exactly he was doing when he rang the doorbell. He'd already turned around five times on the way up the driveway, but he was still here, standing in front of the heavy wooden doors of the old mansion.
He needed answers. He wasn't sure if he'd get them here, but maybe he'd manage to get a perspective on all the things that didn’t make sense anymore.
Jared was still showing him the cold shoulder after their fight a week ago, when Jared had asked Jensen to buy one of his omega friends and it had somehow turned into a debate about omega nature. Jensen knew it couldn’t be all black and white, Jared was right, he did prove that everyday, and Jensen couldn’t even imagine Maggie to be anything less than perfect, but everybody else couldn’t have been wrong for hundreds of years now, could they?
Jensen had tried to reason with Jared after he’d gone out to clear his head, but Jared had just shut down.
“It doesn’t matter what I say,” he’d said, voice completely devoid of any emotion. “You believe what you want to believe and you’ll never see the truth because it would mess with your head too much. I just… I thought you were finally seeing the light, but really, I should’ve known.”
Jared had laughed, a hollow, desperate sound and Jensen had told him that he loved them, loved Maggie and that he would always protect her. Jared wasn’t appeased and it didn’t seem like he’d forgive Jensen. While Jared still let Jensen sleep with him without fuss whenever he wanted to knot him, Jensen felt Jared's distance and it cut him like a serrated knife. He didn't want Jared to be distant.
It had been years since Jensen had stumbled over that article online that had given him pause for the first time and when he hadn’t managed to make peace with Jared, he’d gone looking for that article again. He’d found other material, but the one article he’d read had vanished. No matter. He still remembered the nagging feeling of doubt, questioning the system for the first time in his life and he didn’t know who else to turn to.
The door swung open and Jensen looked into a friendly face with big blue eyes under a mop of dark curls. The soft and sweet note of omega wafted through the air.
“Yes?” the omega asked.
“Hi. My name is Jensen Ackles. I was wondering if Professor Roché is home.”
When I checked the today, I realized in shame that is was over a year ago when I started posting this story (March 2013, but who's keeping track, right?). Your continued feedback for this story means a lot to me, and so does your patience. I know I took my time, things happened, rl and fandom challenges, and I appreciate you guys sticking with me.
Huge thanks to for muddling through this with me, lending beta and plotting skills, and to , who became a reluctant sounding board. I promise you all the booze as soon as I come visit you!
Without further ado: The End
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Professor Roché’s home was big and spacious, exactly what you’d expect from a famous scholar, who had published several successful books, but the carpets were walked thin and the furniture was old and run down. The television was at least ten years old, as old as the car Jensen had seen in the driveway.
“Mr. Ackles. What can I do for you?”
Jensen looked back to the professor. He was a few years older than Jensen, somewhere in his early forties. There were deep lines in his face, but he had a pleasant expression, if maybe a sad.
“A couple of years ago I read an article about you,” Jensen said, not sure how to start. “You were expelled from your teaching position because of your omega research.”
Professor Roché raised an eyebrow. “Really? I thought all the articles said I was expelled because I sexually molested my students.”
Jensen smiled grimly. “This one was quite good with the sarcasm. I believe it was published by a blog run by some of the students. I searched for it again, but I couldn't find it.”
“Ah yes, my students,” Roché said wistfully. “So young and so full of ideals. I told them to be careful. I wonder what happened to them?”
There was a pause and Jensen wondered as well. Truth to be told, he didn't know if he wanted to know. What he’d came to ask was going to be difficult enough.
“Why are you here?” Roché asked.
“I need to know the truth.” Jensen said. “About omegas, about our society, about everything.”
Roché scoffed. “The truth. Now why would you want to know such a horrible thing, Mr. Ackles? You’re an alpha. I suggest you forget whatever you read a few years ago in an unimportant little college blog and go back to your life.”
Jensen shook his head. “I can’t. Jared… He’s my omega. Well, he’s more than that I guess and I just - I need to know how much wrong I’ve done him.”
“That depends, I’d say, on how you treated him.”
“I thought I was treating him fairly.” Jensen laughed at himself. “I mean, he was abused by his former alpha and I took pride in never once hitting him. I was generous, I bought him good clothes and I let him sleep in my bed-” Jensen broke off when he saw Roché’s pitying look.
“You treated him like you were taught to treat an omega,” Roché said, summing it up perfectly.
Jensen nodded mutely. “In the beginning,” he admitted. “But then I realized how smart he was and I let him do whatever he wanted. I let him read and we - I promised him we’d be a real family. Just me and him and our children.”
“And do you think you managed to fulfill that promise?”
“I thought I did. But we have an omega daughter and the thought of her suffering the same fate as Jared, of being treated like… It changes things.”
Professor Roché eyed him critically, before apparently coming to a decision. “Tell me, Mr. Ackles,” he asked, “do you have any plans to leave this country?”
Jensen shook his head. “No, not really. I mean, I know that things in Europe are different, but I-” Angrily he shook his head. “Is there even another way? I mean, you’re still here. With your omega,”
Roché sighed. “Let’s have a seat.”
Roché poured them a whiskey and then they sat down in the living room. “There are just some conversations that should better be had with alcohol,” he said and raised his glass. “To the most horrible thing in the world: the truth.”
Jensen down the complete glass and so did Roché. He refilled their glasses before he started speaking.
“You will never be able to fully understand the wrong you’ve done your omega.” There was no accusation in Roché’s eyes, only resignation.
Roché’s omega came over and sat down on the couch beside his alpha, taking his hand. Roché gave the omega a sad smile.
“We can never really understand,” he said, talking to Jensen but not looking away from his omega’s face. “We just have to live with the knowledge forever that those we love the most, we hurt the most.”
The omega shook his head. “Sebastian, don’t. We talked about this, you’re not allowed to blame yourself.”
Roché nodded. “That’s because you’re too good for this world, my love. But I doubt I can ever forgive myself.” He turned back to Jensen. “I’ll tell you everything you want to know, Mr. Ackles. Question is, do you really want to?”
Jensen didn't need to think. If there ever was a way to gain Jared’s forgiveness and love, this was it. And if Roché’s omega had forgiven him, well maybe Jared could see that Jensen had been a victim too.
“Tell me everything.”
When Jensen came home that night, he went directly to his study. He ignored Jared asking him where the fuck he’d been all night, just planted a hard and thorough kiss on Jared’s mouth and then locked himself into his study. He went straight to the cupboard with all the expensive alcohol his clients had given him in thanks.
He took out a glass, more in there for decor than anything really, opened a bottle of whiskey and poured himself a glass.
He couldn’t forget a single word Roché had said to him. In the span of two hours, his whole world had come crumbling down. He hadn’t wanted to believe it, it just couldn’t be true, but Roché had shown him studies from Europe, official government papers noting the changes the omega laws brought overseas. Roché showed him his own research on omega history, the documents revealing a world in which omegas were not simple-minded breeding machines, but productive members of society. Roché showed him the graphs of omega pregnancies correlating to the mandatory ‘health’ vaccinations, published in old books, banned nowadays.
Jensen sat in his study, everything swirling around in his mind and he didn’t know if he wanted to scream or bash his head against the wall until his world made sense again.
Jared, the most amazing person he’d ever met and probably the love of his fucking life, and he’d treated him like an animal. Had disregarded everything he said, despite proving it to him everyday. Jensen didn’t know how often Jare had wanted to punch him in the face but he would’ve deserved it every time, and then some. Jared had been right about everything. About their society, about the oppressing laws, the manipulation, the vaccinations...
The vaccinations. He’d allowed Maggie to be vaccinated while Jared had insisted on not doing it.
Jensen got up and walked to the nursery. It was late and the house was silent. Jensen pushed the door open quietly. For a while he just stood there, watching Davie and Maggie sleep in their little beds.
Then he walked over to Maggie’s bed. There were still four more vaccinations she needed to have and Jensen would find a way to get her out of them. He didn’t care if he had to bribe Jim or fake the records, he would protect his little girl as best as he could.
“I’m so sorry I failed you, sweetheart,” he whispered and carefully stroked her soft cheek. “I promise, I’ll spend the rest of my life protecting you.”
Maggie’s mouth twitched adorably and Jensen's heart ached. She was so tiny, so helpless still and he had failed her. Just like he’d failed Jared.
He leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead, then he stopped by Davie’s bed and did the same. His son would have it easier, but he’d still live in this horrible world.
Jensen crossed the hallway and entered their bedroom. Jared was fast asleep, sprawled out on their bed. After their move, he’d bought a California King, Jared just took up too much space, but now Jensen wished they could always sleep chest to chest, heart to heart.
Of all the things Roché had told him, one thing stood out in particular.
“Whenever you feel yourself slipping up, falling back into old habits, just think about how old Jared is and what you did at his age. Nothing makes it more obvious.”
Jared was sixteen when Jensen had gotten him, sixteen and already pregnant. Jensen had played lacrosse in high school when he’d been sixteen.
Jared had delivered his first child when he was only seventeen, the child Jensen had given away. And then, only a year later, Jared had given birth to Jem. At eighteen. Jensen had just started college back then.
Jared had just turned twenty-one and he’d already been through so much.
Jensen went back to his study. He couldn’t bear to look at Jared now, not unless he’d fixed this mess.
“Fix it?” Roché asked incredulously. “There’s nothing to fix. Scientists have been messing with omega biology for decades. Ever since the industrial revolution, fertility in betas and omegas has been dropping constantly, but they realised too late it was humankind's fault. And of course instead of stopping pollution and the increased use of chemicals, they started experimenting with fertility. With betas there was nothing much they could do, which is why we nowadays have a fertility rate of just under twenty percent in betas, but with omegas… They were easier to manipulate due to their biology. They found what triggered their heats and they just blew it up. Did you know that five hundred years ago omegas only went into heat once a year?
“So of course, when emancipation took hold in our society, when betas and omegas protested alpha superiority, they gave in and made betas equal. Omegas though? Not so much. And betas realized that in order to be emancipated, they needed to keep omegas down. And let’s be honest, no one minds having slaves when they’re just considered to be little better than animals. Everybody just conveniently forgot that science and experiments had turned omegas into omegas ruled by their heats in the first place. It was so much easier to just rewrite history.”
Roché had explained, in minute detail, the lock-down of the governments on omega rights. Once they realized how it benefited their economy, countries had restricted omega freedom more and more, until the Great War when, justified by the need to win, omegas had been declared property that could be acquisitioned by the government. What had started out under the pretense of a state of emergency had turned into a status quo, and had been cemented as law in the final ruling of the Supreme Court in 1959 in Campbell vs the State.
There was really no way to save Maggie in the US or give Jared a shot at a happy life. Jensen sat down in front of his laptop and started researching traveling abroad. If he didn’t intend to return, well that was just his business. While Roché wasn’t allowed to leave the country - I’m not in jail per se, he’d said, but technically they put me under house arrest. This way it just makes less of a fuss, diplomatically speaking - he’d told Jensen that there were fugitive agencies for omegas available. And since Jensen actually had rare and useful skills, they wouldn’t have trouble getting a British or any other European citizenship.
The hard part would be getting a travel permit for Jared and Kim. He could probably justify taking one omega on a family trip easily, two might be harder. The government tried to minimize the risk of defecting. Four kids should be enough though to justify taking two omegas on a vacation. Or maybe a business trip, that might be more reasonable…
The night wore on as Jensen clicked himself through government sites and help chats. He’d need to get an omega transport permission, since they weren’t classified as citizens who could apply for a passport. These permits were easier to get for allied nations, meaning countries with comparable omega rights, like Canada, Cuba or most Asian countries. Europe was a whole lot tougher. The easiest way would probably be to go to Russia and then get into Europe. Russias controls were much laxer than the stateside ones, but they did classify omegas as objects as well.
Like cattle, Jared’s words sounded in Jensen’s mind and he felt sick to his stomach. So stupid, he’d been so stupid. He loved Jared so much and he let him suffer just because it was easier.
Jensen took a deep breath. He could continue to beat himself up about this later, right now he needed to figure out how to get them out of the country. He’d need to talk to his lawyer, and to Chris, maybe sell him the house so he could wire Jensen the money later. Jensen knew Chris had contacts in Europe. Jensen’s resume and what he had in the bank should be enough to keep them afloat until he found a job, but it would be good to have some money saved up. After all, he would need to put four kids through college.
Jensen didn’t know if it would be enough to make Jared forgive him, but he’d spend the rest of his life trying.
He finally crawled into bed when it was almost morning, Jared waking up with a displeased sound when Jensen slid under the covers.
“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” Jensen said. “I love you, you know that right?”
Jared sighed. “Yeah, I know,” he mumbled almost intelligible. He didn’t say anything else though.
Jensen didn’t know how he’d never picked up on that, but he couldn’t ever remember Jared telling him that he loved him. He just somehow assumed that he did, hadn’t even give it a thought. Now though, he wanted it, no needed to hear it.
“I love you,’” he said again but Jared remained quiet.
“You know, it would be nice hearing you say it every once in a while,” Jensen said, trying to make his voice light.
Jared snorted. “It would be nice for you not to be an ass every once in a while.”
Jensen felt like he’d been punched to the gut. He considered telling Jared everything right then, but he wanted it to be a surprise, show him the plane tickets and just get them out of there.
So he just said, “I’m sorry about before. You’re right, you’re not treated fairly. There’s nothing I can do about these things in general, but I promise I will do everything I can to make sure you and Maggie are happy.”
Jared froze. “What… what are you saying?”
Jensen pressed a kiss to Jared’s neck. “I love you. Not because you’re a great omega, but because you’re a great person. I can’t save everybody, and I’m sorry, but I can’t save Alona, you know I can’t, but you and Maggie. You’ll be fine.”
“Will you-” Jared cleared his throat. “Did you ever think about leaving the country?”
Jensen hid his smile in Jared’s hair. “Let’s sleep, sweetie. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
Jared exhaled deeply and relaxed. “Okay,” he said and then he scooted closer to Jensen like he hadn’t in a long time.
Jensen fell asleep a happy man. Everything would be alright.
When Jensen woke up, it was already noon. It was a Saturday, so Jared would’ve taken the kids to the park. There was a puppet theatre there that their kids loved.
Jensen took a long shower and then made coffee. As soon as Jared would get back, he would tell him and start making plans. He’d need to call Chris and Alaina, and-
The doorbell pulled him out of his musings. He wondered if Jared and Kim had forgotten their keys, but when he opened the door he came face to face with three men in dark suits.
“Mr. Ackles,” the man in the middle said politely. “I’m Mr. White from the Omega Ministry. This is my colleague, Mr. Jones.” He pointed to the bald man to his right. “And you remember my colleague, Mr. Smith,” he continued, pointing to the man to his left.
Jensen did indeed recognize Mr. Smith, and fear spread through his stomach.
Mr Smith continued to smile, eyes cold and looking at Jensen expectantly. “May we come in?”
Jensen knew this wasn’t really a question and wordlessly, he let them pass. Mr. Smith shot him a condescending smile when he walked by. The three men went into the living room and sat down on the couch and Mr. White indicated for Jensen to sit on the armchair.
“Alright, let’s not beat around the bush,” Mr White said, almost cheerful and opened a little black notebook he pulled from his suit jacket. “You have been under the eyes of our ministry for quite some time, with you breeding your omega to give you twins. Quite the feat.”
Jensen inclined his head, not feeling this was a compliment though.
“And of course, you do valued work for our government,” Mr. White continued. “Now, you’re not married and from what Mr. Smith told me you have no intention to. That’s fine of course, we’re a modern society, there’s nothing wrong with being a single parent.”
The urge to punch Mr. White in the face was quite strong, but Jensen refrained. “I doubt you came here to congratulate me,” was all he said.
“Indeed we did not. It has come to our attention that you visited with a former professor of Language History and Sociology, a certain Sebastian Roché?”
“And how is that any of your business?”
“Oh well, Mr. Roché is under house arrest because of incitement and sedition.” Mr. White smiled softly. “But you already knew that.”
“No, I didn’t,” Jensen said and technically it was the truth.
Mr White nodded. “You might not have known that, but you knew what you were looking for. You see, Mr. Ackles, we have Professor Roché under surveillance. Everyone he talks to, we listen. In all honesty, you didn’t make it better, when you started looking for travel stipulations online and how to get an omega to Europe.”
Jensen thought he could feel the color leaving his face. They knew. They had surveilled his computer. They had-
“You spied in on my computer?” Jensen almost yelled. “For what? Talking? I will sue your sorry ass for this!”
Mr. White continued to smile calmly. “No, you won’t. Let me explain to you why. You want to illegally leave the country, because you don’t plan on coming back.”
“You can’t prove that,” Jensen said hotly.
“We don’t need to. Your conversation with Roché is enough to qualify as treason. Your plans to leave the country? Mr. Ackles, with evidence like this, you won’t even get a trial. Under the National Security Act from 1995, this qualifies you directly as a domestic terrorist with intentions of high treason.”
Jensen stared at Mr. White in horror. “You can’t do that.”
“You’ll find that we can. But the reason I’m telling you this, is because we don’t want to. You are a valuable asset to our government. The security designs you do for our facilities are invaluable. And your omega, he is an excellent breeder. You don’t know how rare twin pregnancies are. Children from such a stock are usually highly fertile themselves. I also took a look at Jared’s pedigree chart and saw that his alpha-sire was birthed by a beta, so it stands to hope Jared’s beta children will be fertile as well. Even you come from a reasonably fertile family. There were two fertile betas in the last four generations, did you know that?”
Jensen mutely shook his head, feeling like the world was slipping through his fingers.
Mr. White continued, voice still soft and pleasant. “Now. Mr. Ackles, we want you to stay here and be happy. And we want Jared to be happy as well. We could take him to a breeding farm of course, but independently raised omegas like him usually… wilt on the farms, if you will. They just fade, become sick, and their children… don’t even get me started.” Mr. White raised his hand like he was waiving away an annoying bee. “So you see, it is really in all our best interest to maintain the status quo.”
Jensen didn’t know what to say. They wanted to keep him here, take away the one chance he has to save Maggie and Jared. He couldn’t let that happen. They just couldn’t keep him a prisoner in his own life.
“You can’t just keep us here,” he said, shaking his head disbelievingly. This couldn’t be happening. “I am an alpha citizen, you can’t just put me in jail.”
Mr. While put his little notebook away and folded his hands in his lap. “Mr. Ackles, we are the Omega Ministry. We are the most important institution in our government, charged with keeping the population up at a working level. We can do anything we deem necessary.”
“You’ll never get away with this,” Jensen hissed. “I have friends in high places, you can’t just make me disappear. I’ve heard the news from Europe, the omega freedom movement is spreading and-”
“Europe?” Mr. Smith interrupted him with a harsh laugh, leaning forward. “No. China and India will be the new players. Haven’t you heard of the financial crisis? Spain and Greece teetering on the brink? Why do you think Great Britain is pondering leaving the EU? Like rats, they want to leave a sinking ship. Germany tries to keep up its numbers by immigration, but we’re seeing a strengthening of the conservative parties everywhere. They’re going to ban immigration and then they won’t have a choice but to adopt our policies. Mr. Ackles, Europe is done. A few more years and its significance for the international economy will be all but gone. It will be remembered as the place that gave us Shakespeare, Oktoberfest and croissants, and nothing more.”
“That’s enough,” Mr. White said mildly, and Mr Smith sat back again with a sour expression on his face.
“Mr. Ackles, your passport expired two years ago,” Mr White continued as if nothing had happened. “Don’t even bother applying for a new one, you won’t get one. And neither will any other member of your family. You will not leave.”
Jensen opened his mouth for an angry reply, but Mr. Smith held up his hand. “You will stay here, and we will keep out of your business. Let’s go for a reasonable number and say four more pregnancies. Now, some people… they try to leave without their passport. I would strongly advise against that. First off, the chances of success are, well, non-existent and secondly, the punishment is quite harsh. What we’re offering here is a second chance. You don’t accept that and the gloves come off. Prison for you, breeding farm for your omega and your children up for adoption. Not to mention we can track your omega. And if you decide to un-chip him - well, the moment that chip comes out, we’ll be knocking on your door. Don’t underestimate us, Mr. Ackles.”
Mr Smith nodded. “We know about all your contacts. Your college friend, Christian Kane? We know about his illegal endeavours. Unless you want to see him dragged in front of a judge, you better not involve him. As to the contacts you made through your work…” Mr. Smith looked meaningful at the telephone. “Well, let’s just say, we’ll know who you call.”
Mr. White stood up, looking at him expectantly, but there was nothing Jensen could say. They monitored his calls. They knew everything about his family. They’d never let them leave.
“I see you understand,” Mr. White said, voice completely pleasant, like he was discussing the weather. “Have a good day.”
Jensen remained on the couch while the Omega Ministry workers let themselves out.
Mr. White paused in the door. “Oh, and Mr. Ackles? Jared will go into heat soon. I suggest you breed him again immediately. As a sign of good faith, if you will.”
The door fell harshly into the lock.
Jensen kept sitting on the couch for a long time, unable to move. His mind refused to process what had just happened. It couldn’t be happening. No matter how he tried to spin it, the outcome was always the same. They knew he knew. They wouldn’t let them leave.
Oh god, Jared would be devastated if he told him. To find a way out, only for it to be taken away, Jared would never accept that.
Jared would never accept that. Dread settled heavily in Jensen's stomach. It wouldn’t matter that Jensen would tell him they’d have to stay, Jared would try to leave. Jensen knew, without a doubt, that if Jared knew the full extent of the government manipulation, knew that Jensen knew, he would use it to keep him hostage. Just like when Jared had forced Jensen to let him keep both babies, he’d threaten to ignore him if he didn’t get his way.
Jensen wanted to give him this, wanted to take him away, but he couldn’t risk their safety. If they made a plan and it went wrong - Jensen couldn’t bear to lose his family. Just thinking about Jared and Maggie on a breeding farm, it made bile rise in his throat. He could never tell Jared about his plans to leave, could never tell him he’d even considered it.
He’d have to go on as if nothing happened. He’d have to go on, with Jared still hating him for not treating him as an equal, with Jared still blaming him for his fate. He’d have to go on, knowing he’d had a shot at Jared’s love but now it was irrevocably gone.
All the dreams he’d had after realizing the truth, after finally being able to see past everything, imagining a different life with Jared, with his love, they would stay just that - dreams.
Jensen didn’t know how he could bear it.
When Jared came back from the playground hours later, there was a smile on his face and a glint in his eyes. Jensen hadn’t seen him like that in a long time and he realized it was anticipation.
Jared walked up to him, Joy on his arm and pressed a kiss to Jensen’s cheek.
“Hi. We missed you at the park.”
Jensen forced himself to smile. “I was really tired. Next time, okay?”
Jared nodded. “Can we talk? About things?”
Jensen nodded and prayed Jared would be satisfied with what he’d come up with.
They put Joy and the twins down for a nap. Jem wasn’t sleeping during the day anymore, but Kim took his hand and led him to the play corner in the living room.
Jensen pulled out the documents he had prepared. He wasn’t sure if the Omega Ministry would accept them, but there was nothing else he could do. He’d never felt so helpless in all his life.
“This is a special Omega Family Trust,” Jensen explained to Jared and he could see how his omega’s face fell. “There are certain stipulations for an omega becoming lifelong family property, but it’s doable. Maggie would be in a trust, that will always be under the supervision of the family’s oldest alpha. Right now, that’s me. When I die, she’ll go to Jem. There’s still a minimum requirement of pregnancies of course, but Jem can have her inseminated, have her carry the children to term and then declare them as his own.”
Jared opened his mouth, expression horrified, but Jensen raised his hand placatingly. “Jared, let me explain. This is perfect. Artificial insemination means that she’ll never have to sleep with another alpha, if she doesn’t want to. She will always live with our family, they won’t be able to take her away.”
“Why can’t we just leave?” Jared asked insistently. “Jensen, it would be so much better if we would just go to Europe. Maggie can go to school there, a real school and college, she won’t be locked into her own home, she can have a life!”
“She can have one here too,” Jensen tried to argue and he almost had to throw up at the thoughts of what he was condemning his daughter too. “There are lots of jobs you can do from home. As for Europe, I can't just pack up my job and leave. Plus, the hassle of getting one omega out of the country? It’s immense. Two is virtually impossible. And you wouldn’t want to leave Kim behind now, would you?”
Jensen hated himself for playing dirty, but he needed to convince Jared to stay.
At the thought of Kim staying behind, Jared’s eyes widened in horror. “No, of course we can’t leave her here! But Jensen, there has to be a way, my parents-”
“There isn’t,” Jensen interrupted him. He couldn’t let Jared continue, couldn’t hear if maybe Jared’s parents had made plans to leave. For a brief moment he wondered if Jared's father had been visited by the OM as well and just hadn’t cared, but he pushed that thought aside quickly.
Instead he said, “Jared, why do you think I stayed up so late last night? This is the best course of action. Everything will work out, you see.”
Jared shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re just giving up like that. It’s your daughter!”
“I am not giving up!” Jensen said angrily. “I’m doing the best I can and you need to stop questioning me. I want what’s best for Maggie too and this is the best I can do. She’ll be safe with us. I swear, Jared this will work. And to rest your mind, we won’t let her have the rest of the additional vaccinations, okay? I’ll get Jim to hold them back.”
Jensen had never hated himself as much as in that moment, when Jared’s whole body deflated and he nodded, eyes firmly trained on the ground and desperation obvious in his whole posture.
“I love you so much, baby,” Jensen said helplessly. “Can’t you see that?”
Jared nodded. “Yeah, I see,” he said slowly, got up and walked over to Jem, drawing his squirming son into his arms. Jensen kept sitting on the couch, staring at them and for the first time since his parents had died, he felt tears stinging in his eyes.
Jensen would never hear Jared say that he loved him, because Jared would never be able to love him. He’d realized too late what a wonderful thing he could’ve had, now it was too late.
Later that night, after the kids were safely tucked in and Kim had retired to her room, Jensen scooted up behind Jared, burying his nose in his hair. He didn’t want to see Jared’s face for this.
“You’ll go into heat soon, probably next week” he said quietly. “And I think it would be great if we have another kid.”
It was silent for a moment. Jensen couldn’t see Jared’s face, but he still felt how his shoulders tensed up.
“I thought we had enough?” Jared asked, voice tight. “You know I love our kids, but you agreed that four are enough.”
Jensen tried to swallow around the big lump in his throat. It wasn’t that he didn’t want more kids, and he was sure that Jared wouldn’t mind if not for the threat of having another omega. The real problem for Jared was that he didn’t have a choice. For the first time Jensen really understood what that meant.
“I know I said that. But Joy is already getting so big. How about we make another cute little baby?” Jensen nuzzled Jared’s neck, internally begging him to go along.
“No, Jensen. I can’t. I can’t take it.”
Jensen closed his eyes and pressed his hand on Jared’s belly, asking for forgiveness. “Yes, you can.”
For a moment Jared tensed even more, then he exhaled in a huff and his body just slumped down, desperation and disappointment obvious in every tired line of his body.
Jensen pressed kiss after kiss to his neck, each one a silent apology. He didn’t stop until Jared had fallen asleep and it was only then when he dared to wipe his eyes. He wasn’t sure if he was crying for Jared or for himself, for their unborn babies or just for all of them. He had become a prisoner in his own life, just like Jared had always tried to make him see.
He’d done an insurmountable wrong by Jared and this was his punishment. Jared would never forgive him, never love him. Jensen thought he would suffer it so much easier if Jared just wouldn’t have to suffer right along with him.
“I love you. So much.”
Jared snuffled, then rolled away from him. Jensen followed him, putting an arm around him. He just couldn’t help himself, he needed to be close to Jared now.
A bee was buzzing around over their picnic blanket. It was the first real warm day, so Jared wasn’t surprised the insect was out and about.
In the park, the kids were using Jensen as a jungle gym. He’d attempted to show the twins how to throw and catch a baseball which had somehow ended in a wrestling match when Maggie had declared, “daddy you’re not playing fair,” and her brothers had immediately joined the fight.
Joy had been sitting in the grass, watching peacefully and now after everyone was exhausted and using their father as a pillow, Jensen had drawn her in tight, disappearing under a heap of tangled children’s limbs.
Jared looked back down at the picnic blanket where the bee had taken up on crawling around on an abandoned piece of Jem’s jelly toast. It was getting stuck in the thick substance, struggling futilely to get away.
Jared watched at the tiny animal and was reminded of another time, another place, another struggling bee.
The bee finally managed to crawl off the toast, but jelly was sticking to its legs and body. It slowly moved it’s wings and then it flew up into the air. Its flight was bumbly and uncoordinated, but after a few crooked loops the bee got its bearings and flew off into the distance. Jared watched it until he couldn’t see it anymore.
He heard the approaching steps but he only looked up when Jensen dropped Joy into his lap, mindful of Jared’s growing belly.
“She fell asleep, I’m gonna leave her here with you while I try to teach the rest of the brood how to properly throw a… Sweetie, are you all right?”
Jared looked up into Jensen’s concerned face. Huh. He must’ve zoned out there for a moment.
“Yeah, I am,” he said, “I just saw a bee.”
“A bee?” Jensen asked.
Jared nodded. “It got stuck in the jelly toast and it reminded me of something.”
Jensen looked down at the piece of toast then at Jared again. “Okay,” he said slowly. “And what did the bee in the jelly remind you of?”
Jared looked to where the bee had flown off to, some far away place he would never know.
“I doesn’t matter.”
Final A/N: I know this is not what a lot of you envisioned or hoped for. But for me this was always how this story was going to end. There are stories about revolution and redemption, about reconciliation and happiness. This is not one of them. I hope you still enjoyed this story as I made my way through it.
Usually I am not averse to writing sequels or timestamps for my stories. Again, this is not one of them. For me, this story is finished. You are, of course, to do with it in your own imagination whatever you want, but I can write no more. Yes, I'm looking at you, Kami!