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Super Duper Cookies

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It was eleven o'clock on a Friday night and I was sitting at home, alone, again, trying to find a way to keep from losing my mind. Ivy and her damn "date". Rubbing it in my face every time she leaves, acting all happy. Of course, besides the blinding jealousy about her going out with somebody who isn't me, what hurts most is the way she touches him. Not sexually. God, I don't want to know about that. Don't even want to think about that. But, just that she actually touches him. Casually. Like it's not a big deal at all. Bastard. Damn him for taking that too. Did I mention that I am a wee bit jealous? I wonder, on a scale of one to ten, how pissed Ivy would be if I bribed Bis to spit on Glenn when he brought her home tonight? Wonder if she'd believe me if I told her that it wasn't me but Jenks who put him up to it?

Don't get me wrong, I really am glad that Ivy's happy. I just wish it wasn't with Glenn. Or anyone who wasn't me. I wish I wasn't such a dumbass to what I was really feeling every time my heart sped up when she touched me, or the way I got excited when she growled my name over her computer screen when she felt me playing with my scar. Yeah, I had been afraid, but never of her. Dear God, never of her. It was me, always me.

But she knew that and was willing to wait. Wait as long and I needed her to. Until she decided not to. The vamps I could half deal with because I don't really have the whole bloodlust thing going for me (nor do I have the uber-sharp canines), but when she'd come home with bite marks on her neck it was everything I could do to not go find the bastard that did that to her and stake them twice.

Possessive much?

Yeah, just a tad. That's me, the crazy-stupid witch who stormed into a master vampire's lair trying to kill him because he had the gall to blood rape her, starting a chain of events that has landed me a once-a-week lab/lecture circuit with a demon.

Just call me Captain Courage. I'm brave enough to do everything but face the facts: I am completely in love with Ivy Tamwood. And I've got really shitty timing to boot. It took her finding somebody else to make me finally admit it to myself. I was so stupid. I wasted all that time fighting what I wanted.

What I needed.

So, back to the here and now. I'm sitting on the couch in the sanctuary, staring at Ivy's baby grand and wishing she was here playing for me instead of off on a date. Hopefully not playing with said date. I really hope she's not playing with him. Gross. I've finally sucked up the courage to try and tell her that I want "all of her" as she promised me one day. God, the dreams I've been having about her lately… never mind. Suffice to say, they're G-double-O-D, good.

By the way, have I mentioned that I'm totally hyped up on a dozen of Ivy's "cookies". Yeah. Needed the courage boost. Used to be not such a big fan of the brimstone, but the way it can magnify anything you're feeling… let's just say that I've managed to talk myself into a new realm of confidence and the cookies are definitely adding to the buzz. It's kind of fun, really. Don't tell Ivy I said that though. She'd be mad.

Ivy serious, I thought with a giggle.

Too amped to just sit and wait for her to come home, I decided that few games of pool would do quite nicely to fill the time. I racked them up and started playing, the brimstone in my system keeping me on my toes and happy as I wandered around the table doing a piss-poor imitation of a pool player. Yeah, I suck at it. Too much planning needed to really win. That's why I never play Ivy. That girl can plan anything.

I wish I knew what time it was.

I really wanted to know how much longer I had to wait for her to get home, but there's no clock in the sanctuary. Ivy always has a watch on, and Jenks has this insane ability to just know what time it is by just… knowing. It's creepy. I can tell that it's getting closer to sunrise though, because my cookies are starting to wear off and I'm beginning to lose some of the "boosted" confidence they had wrought.

Suddenly, the front door to the church opened and I looked up to see Ivy crossing the threshold, head down, not watching where she's walking. I took a deep breath, steeling my courage for the speech I had been repeating, editing, and continuously rewriting in my mins as I worked though my high, and I smiled as I watched her finally look up at me, her face an adorable mask of confusion as she tried to scent my mood.

"Hi," I called out, bouncing on the balls of my feet. Hey, I said the cookies were wearing down, not that they had left my system completely. "Nice time?"

"Um, not really," she answered, her brow furrowed as she tried to figure out what I was getting at.

Dear Goddess, it's all I can do to not just run over there and touch her. I want to, but I know I cant. So, I instead put my hands in my pockets. Much safer they are, there. They can't reach out and grab her so I can lay a big ol' smackeroo on her pouty lips if they're in my pockets. I am still loving them cookies, even if the buzz is leaving me.

"Oh, where's Glenny?" I ask.

"Who knows." She shrugged. "Look, are you okay?" she asked, genuine concern coating her voice.

"Super-duper," I replied with a giggle.

Her eyes widened in surprise at my giddiness and the little voice of reason in the back of my head that I habitually ignore started to make all sorts of warning sounds telling me that my master plan was spiraling wildly out of control. But I shut those thoughts down quickly. Gotta stay positive. The cookies were the best idea EVER!

"Super-duper?" she repeated, the corners of her lips quirking up ever so slightly in amusement. "Rache, are you on something? Are you sugared? Did Jenks spike your coffee?"

"Nope, I had some of your cookies," I told her solemnly. "They're damn good by the way. Well, not really good because they taste like cardboard, but once they get in your system they're great!" Another wild giggle escaped me at my own rambling and the air of seriousness I had been trying for evaporated as I started laughing hysterically.

"Rache," Ivy walked toward me slowly, and for the life of me I can't figure out why she looks so worried. "You so do not agree with illegal drug use. You have a conniption every time I mention them. What are you doing raiding the cookies?"

"Yeah, about that," I started, but stopped as my my head started feeling woozy. Whoa, there go the last of the magic happy cookies. That happened a little more quickly than I'd planned. "See," I mumble. "Yeah. About that. I…"

Damn. Cookies gone.

Face, meet carpet.

And then the world went black.

When I finally woke up, it was to a killer headache. Whoa, and I thought tequila did nasty things to my head.

"Ugh," I moaned, throwing my arm over my eyes to block out the sun.

"Ah, so you are alive," Ivy purred.

"Shhhhhh," I scolded her, trying to roll over to see her to drive the point of my annoyance home.

Ivy chuckled and ran a gentle hand down my arm. "Jesus, Rache. What were you thinking? You really ate a dozen cookies! Even with them being medicinal grade, you had to have been high as a kite!"

I succeeded at rolling over and opening my eyes, and immediately winced at the sunlight filling the room. "Why is it so bright? What time is it?"

"Nearly four. You slept quite a while," Ivy whispered. "I was beginning to get worried. Sit up, that'll help with the head."

I grunted my displeasure at the very idea of doing as she suggested, but somehow managed to heave myself to a sitting position. I bit my lip as I waited for my head to readjust to the altitude change. It only took a few seconds being upright for me to realize that I did feel better sitting up, and I was even more pleased to find a sandwich a bottle of water on the table in front of me. "Thanks," I mumbled, more than a little embarrassed, as I picked up the sandwich.

Ivy just watched me eat, an amused smile playing across her face. When I finished the sandwich and water, she asked again, "So, care to share what that was all about earlier, Miss Super-Duper?"

I grinned sheepishly at her and shrugged unrepentantly. No point denying what we both know happened, right? "Courage booster."

"Hmmm, did it work?"

"It was working great until I passed out," I answered honestly. "Now, it's not feeling like such a good idea," I admitted, putting a hand to my head to try and push throbbing pulse back into my brain.

"You think?" she asked quietly, a genuine smile playing across her lips.

I looked up at the soft sound of her melodious chuckle and smiled in spite of my throbbing headache as I looked at her. "God, I love looking at you when you smile like that."

Ivy froze, making the small smile that had been tweaking her lips look more like a grimace. "What?"

Uh-oh. I thought. Mouth working faster than brain. Fuck it, just talk Morgan. Plan B: ignore the speech and wing it. "I said I love your smile," I repeated, sitting up straighter.

She looked confused, which was amusing even with the splitting headache. Ivy Tamwood doesn't usually do confusion, too many plans to allow for that.

"I'm not following you," she breathed, a small flash of fear crossing her face and as she started to retreat behind her walls.

Damn it to the Turn, I can't lose her now! "No, no, no, Ivy," I said, standing slowly, my hands held up in front of me for emphasis. "It's okay. I'm sorry. I'm just… I'm not confused anymore," I whispered, a sheepish grin plastered across my face. Please dear Goddess let her still be mine.

"What the hell are you talking about Rachel?"

"I know what I want," I repeated. "I know who I need, and I'm not afraid anymore Ivy."

She just stared at me, hope and horror warring across her beautiful face as I silently waited for her to do or say something. Anything.

But, it appeared that I had finally succeeded in breaking the poor girl, so I took a deep breath as I dropped to my knees in front of her. It was a position one would use to grovel and, well, if anyone deserved to get down on their knees and beg for forgiveness, it was me.

"Look, Ivy," I whispered as I took hands into mine, wincing as she tensed beneath my touch. "I know I've been an idiot. I know that all my indecisiveness has cause you so much pain," my voice hitched on the word, "but I don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to figure out that what I want and what I need has been living across the hall from me this entire time. I'm so incredibly sorry Ivy," I murmured, laying my chin on top of our hands as I looked up at her. "I love you, Ivy Tamwood. I am completely head-over-heels in love with you and I just need you to know that. I am ready for all of you, if you'll still have me."

Speech finished, I stared at her, waiting for a reaction. Of any kind. God, this is why I needed those cookies. What if I'm too late? What if I waited so long that I've already lost her?

Still nothing but a blank stare.

"Oh God, Ivy," I whispered as tears began to pour down my face. "Am I too late? Have I screwed this up too?" I stopped talking when she put a finger to my lips to silence me.

"Wha," I mumbled, and she shook her head at me to stop. "Okay, I'm sorry," I apologized automatically as I tried to stand and run away from my humiliation. Maybe we can try the whole let's pretend this never happened thing again. That was working well enough before, right?

But she wouldn't let me go. Her long fingers wrapped around my hands, holding me tight and refusing to let me go. "Just… give me a second," she whispered.

I bobbed my head in understanding and forced myself to stay put, waiting. Hoping. Staring at her, trying to pick up any sign of what she's thinking. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she smiled at me, so soft and sweet.

"You got high to tell me you have finally realized that you do love me?" she asked incredulously. "Do you see how that would not be the best way to convince me of that?"

"Well, I got high to get the courage to just attack you with a passionate kiss when you walked in the door, and then I was going to go with the speech," I admitted sheepishly. "It seemed like a good plan at the time," I couldn't help adding.

"Hmmm," she purred. "So, now that I've gotten the speech, do I get the kiss?"

I felt my heart do a double-time in my chest and the best I could do was answer with an idiotic grin, feeling like I was back in middle school playing spin-the-bottle as my stomach swooped into my throat. Mine, I thought happily as I stood in front of her. She mirrored my grin as I pulled her up to meet me, and I sighed softly as I slid my arms around her neck and finally, blissfully, kissing her. This kiss was nothing like when she kissed me before, with me too scared to do anything but just stand there like an idiot. This kiss was heaven.

When breathing became necessary and I had to pull away from the kiss, I rested my forehead against hers and whispered, "Ivy, wow. That was…"

She giggled. "Super-Duper. God, how I've waited for this Rachel," she whispered.

I softly brushed my fingers across her cheek. "I know Ivy, I'm sorry," I apologized again as we sank onto the couch, wrapped in each other's arms. "I love you," I murmured as I leans in and captured her lips in a slow, sweet kiss.

"I love you too, Rachel," she breathed, meeting me with another kiss that left no doubt that I was going to be getting all of her very, very soon.

Goody.