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Living vs Surviving.

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Tyler was a lot of things. A dreamer was not one of those things.

Dreams were always the first thing to go when your mind spiraled into madness, after all.

He wasn't like the other people at his school, he wasn't like his family, and he wasn't anything like his best friend, Josh.

Tyler was made up of self doubt, black and white and shades of grey, and dead dreams while Josh was a messy blur of color and smiles and hope.

Yet he stuck around, and that was such a marvelous thing to Tyler that he just kept his doubts and surprise to himself in hopes that maybe eventually he'd believe he was worth such an act.

And so, the day before the end of their Junior year, Josh and Tyler left their house at midnight, sneaking out open windows and meeting up on the road and just running.

Tyler hadn't felt more alive in years.

And so, when they stopped on the edge of town to sit on a bridge, covered by the cool darkness of night, Tyler was grinning like he hadn't in years and his breath was coming fast and it all was too much and not enough all at once.

Josh smiled at him, arms resting on the fencing in front of the two of them and mocha eyes dancing in the stars and moonlight the two were surrounding themselves in. "I bet everyone else is in bed, sleeping, wasting their time, you know it?"

That was the thing about Josh, Tyler mused. He was so normal and hopeful and untouchable, but there were times where that faded and he'd say something so amazing and strange, and Tyler could help but feel beyond happy to be able to witness it every time it happened.

But this time, it was twinged with a sort of worry.

"What do you mean?" Tyler asked once he'd calmed down.

Josh grinned up at the stars. "I mean, we still have a day of school to go. Everyone else can only see that, they're all sleeping their lives away, letting it be controlled. And yet, here we are at two in the morning sitting out on a bridge at the edge of town. We're so alive in this moment that it makes me wonder if everyone else really is alive,"

But we aren't actually alive in this moment, Tyler thought, doubts forming in his mind. I felt alive, but that's just a feeling.

Still, he didn't argue with Josh. It was such a huge thing to think about, but it made him feel better to know his best friend thought about things like that too.

They stayed out until they absolutely had to head back unless they wanted to get caught and get in trouble.

"We should do that again," Josh said with a grin before they split ways to go into their rooms through the windows they'd left open.

Tyler smiled as he lay on his bed until his alarm was set to go off. Yeah, I think we should, he thought to himself. I could do with a little bit of living, after all.