They’re three cycles into their latest job when Hoseok realises that Yoongi is sulking. It takes Hoseok by surprise, not because it’s rare but because usually when Yoongi sulks it’s a lot more dramatic than this. Usually there are a lot more heavy sighs and pointed looks and usually it’s over someone touching something that belongs to him or wronging him in some way that leads to episodes that end in Yoongi outlining in detail why he is so displeased. It’s cute, really. Or at least Hoseok thinks so but Hoseok is the first to admit (to himself, only to himself and maybe once to Namjoon when he was drunk on lack of sleep and space dust) that he is biased.
This sulking is different though. There’s no pointed looks or comments, no deep sighs that scream displeasure. There’s just...silence. Yoongi is going through the motions, doing his job but he’s not--he seems less and Hoseok is kind of mad at himself for not noticing sooner. Of course, Hoseok had other things on his mind, this job is a big one for them and if they pull it off it means they can spend a longer stretch of time planetside but still, Hoseok is Yoongi’s best friend, he should of noticed.
“Hyung, are you okay?” Hoseok asks, not taking his eyes off the panel of buttons blinking animatedly in front of him. They’re navigating an asteroid belt and okay, probably not the best time for a deep and meaningful but it also means Yoongi can’t storm off to his quarters and ignore Hoseok’s questioning. Hoseok is a genius, clearly.
Yoongi mutters something under his breath that Hoseok chooses to pretend he didn’t hear and then he says, “Sure. Fine and dandy.”
So that’s a no. Hoseok chances a glance at Yoongi and Yoongi meets his eyes, eyebrow raised. Yoongi nods his head towards the steering panel, the ‘eyes on the sky’ unsaid and Hoseok rolls his eyes but looks away from Yoongi. He bites back the comment reminding Yoongi that he’s the Captain, he doesn’t have to do what Yoongi says but Hoseok isn’t stupid, he’s not going to start a fight. “Is this about Jungkook?”
Yoongi’s noise of displeasure answers that question but Yoongi still attempts to lie to Hoseok, “No.” he says, voice rising an octave in a clear sign of deceit. “Jungkookie and I are fine.”
“So you’re not in anyway upset that Jungkook asked to stay planetside so he could move into the dorms with Taehyung?” Hoseok asks reaching for his tablet to note down a change to their route.
Yoongi doesn’t respond, he doesn’t have to, Hoseok knows he’s right. Yoongi knows he’s right. Probably their entire neighbourhood on New Earth knows that he’s right after hearing World War 12 break out between Yoongi and Jungkook when Jungkook had said he was moving out of their shared house and into the dorms at the local University with his best friend Taehyung. Yoongi had some very firm opinions on why he didn’t agree with the idea and Jungkook had some very firm opinions of his own as to why he was going to do it whether Yoongi liked it or not and Hoseok had some very firm opinions that he should leave and stay with Namjoon and Seokjin until the dust settled. Jungkook had officially moved out the day prior to Yoongi and Hoseok leaving for their latest job and while it had been a bit weird leaving without Jungkook, the kid had been a regular fixture on the ship since Hoseok and Yoongi had met, Hoseok had been distracted by captaining the ship. Clearly Yoongi hadn’t been distracted enough and now three cycles later he’s worked himself into a right proper sulk.
“He’s still going to be around all the time. You know that right?” Hoseok says softly, looking over at Yoongi. Yoongi doesn’t glance away from the nav screen in front of him but Hoseok knows his words have sunk in by the way his shoulders drop and he very pointedly doesn’t look at Hoseok.
There’s a long stretch of silence and by the time Hoseok has turned back to the steering panel and they’ve successfully dodged more than one giant chunk of space debris, Yoongi lets out a sigh and says, “This is the first time we’ve been away from each other since. Well since we met really.”
It’s not a surprise. Hoseok knows the story, seventeen year old Min Yoongi finding the only survivor of a targeted attack on a political convoy and giving him a home and a new start. Jungkook was thirteen years old and had been travelling with his parents between the Government air base on the outskirts of the city and the consulate after returning from a visit to Jupiter. Jungkook’s parents, two high ranking political figures, had died in the attack, but Jungkook had survived only because his father had pushed him to the floor and thrown himself on top of Jungkook to protect him. Yoongi had been on his way home from work when he found Jungkook, terrified and bleeding in a nearby alley where he had hidden himself after escaping the carnage. Yoongi had taken him home to his tiny apartment and after Jungkook had opened up about what had happened, after Yoongi had realised that Jungkook had no one else, Yoongi had made it his mission to be Jungkook’s family and they’d been a codependent little unit ever since.
Hoseok reaches over and slips his hand into Yoongi’s giving it a gentle squeeze. “He’s still going to need you, hyung. He just--he needs to experience the world without you there to protect him.”
“I know.” Yoongi sighs, squeezing back. “And I know he’s a smart kid but he has a bad habit of letting Taehyung talk him into doing dumb shit. I hoped I would have a couple more years to break him of it before letting him loose on the world.”
Hoseok laughs because yeah, Taehyung and Jungkook tend to get up to no good when they’re left to their own devices. The only difference is unlike Yoongi with his Jungkook blinders, Hoseok knows that Jungkook is as much the instigator as Taehyung.
“Then I guess we’ll just have to get this job done quickly and get back home to supervise.” Hoseok says.
Yoongi smiles, the first one Hoseok has seen since the Big Fight and lets go of Hoseok’s hand. “Yeah, let’s get this shit sorted.”
Hoseok’s parents gave him Hope for his 18th Birthday. As far as presents go it was pretty extravagant. An older model spaceship that is perfect for him, big enough that he can bring friends on board, small enough that he can fly it by himself. It was easy to pick up work once Hoseok had made a handful of modifications with the help of Namjoon who, after spending a weekend reading up on spaceship modifications, had been able to talk Hoseok through each step of installing a new jump drive and navigation panel. He had offered to do it for Hoseok but, as smart as Namjoon is, there was no way Hoseok was letting him near his baby with any sort of tool. The last thing Hoseok wanted was to fall out of the fucking sky because Namjoon had accidentally broken a whole bunch of important shit.
Hoseok had met Yoongi through Namjoon six months later and after that they’d become best friends and business partners. Yoongi had the contacts and Hoseok had the ship and it worked. It still works. Hoseok couldn’t be happier with his life right now, he has a great job, amazing friends, part ownership in a house and he has Yoongi. Maybe he doesn’t have Yoongi in the way he wants but Yoongi knows him better than anyone else (outside of Namjoon, but when you were friends since birth you see and hear some shit that burns itself into your memory) and most of the time for Hoseok, that’s enough.
The get home five cycles later than they planned, early Saturday evening. The nav system had pitched a fit halfway through their return trip and taken the comms system completely offline. The first thing Hoseok hears when he steps inside the front door is a slightly watery and panicked, “You’re late” before Hoseok is being pushed aside by Jungkook so he can pull Yoongi into a bone crushing hug. Hoseok sees Yoongi’s face soften before he presses it into Jungkook’s neck, hand running soothing circles on Jungkook’s back and what sounds suspiciously like a sob from Jungkook as Yoongi whispers reassurances into Jungkook’s skin. Hoseok watches for a moment. One of the things Hoseok loves about Yoongi is how much he loves the people who are most important to him. Hoseok counts his blessings every day that he gets to be one of those people. Yoongi is still whispering to Jungkook and Jungkook’s responses are too soft and low for Hoseok to make out so he decides to leave them to it and makes his way further inside.
“Hyung!” Taehyung greets him cheerfully from where he’s sprawled across the lounge, bowl of chips balanced on his stomach and feet in the lap of a (cute) kid with blonde hair who looks vaguely familiar. “Glad to see you’re alive. This is Jimin.”
“Your concern is overwhelming, Tae.” Hoseok laughs as he kicks his shoes off and shrugs out of his jacket. He nods his head at Jimin, “Hey, nice to meet you.”
Jimin smiles, a really pretty smile if Hoseok was noticing which he isn’t, and says, “We’ve met before? At Namjoon-hyung’s birthday.”
“Oh yeah!” Hoseok grins, realisation dawning on his face, “You’re the kid who helped fix the table when Joonie broke it trying to show everyone how to nae nae right?”
“That’s me.” Jimin says, “Nice to see you again, Hoseok-ssi.”
“Pretty sure if you’ve helped me deal with Namjoon’s drunken destruction you can call me hyung.” Hoseok says as he lifts Taehyung’s head so he can sit. Taehyung makes a happy noise and uses Hoseok’s thigh as a pillow, curling his arm around Hoseok’s knee, tapping his fingers gently against Hoseok’s kneecap. Hoseok slides his fingers into Taehyung’s hair and scratches his scalp gently.
Jimin smiles again, still pretty, as he ducks his head, “Okay, hyung.”
Taehyung tilts his head back so he can look at Hoseok, “Did everything go okay? Kookie was worried.”
Hoseok yawns and nods his head, “Yeah, we lost comms though and the nav system short circuited on the way back so we kept going off course. How long have you guys been here?”
“Since Monday. When you weren’t here when you were supposed to be Jungkookie refused to leave.” Taehyung says softly. Hoseok winces, tugging Taehyung’s hair in a silent apology. “We had to call my brother to come over and help calm him down.”
Hoseok drags his fingers through Taehyung’s hair and laughs softly, “I am sure Jungkook would have appreciated Seokjin’s presence.”
“He brought Namjoon-hyung with him. Jungkook made them stay the night and sleep with him. He definitely capitalised on that situation.” Jimin says, the fondness in his voice contrasting with his eye roll.
“Young love.” Taehyung says dramatically, making a gagging noise. “Anyway, Seokjin-hyung has been coming over after work to yell at us to clean up. He made us do chores, hyung. Chores. Not Jungkookie though, he just got hair pets and cuddles, and you would think that hyung would offer his own flesh and blood comfort right? But nooooo, he doesn’t care about my emotional pain.”
“You fell asleep in Namjoon-hyung’s lap twice in the same day, Tae. He was literally stuck here for 10 hours while you snored the house down and I cleaned up,” Jimin says, rolling his eyes. “Besides, weren’t you the one telling us that everything was going to be okay, don’t act like you were upset.”
“I just have faith in my hyungs that’s all.” Taehyung says, throwing a chip at Jimin before tilting his head back to look up at Hoseok. “I’m glad you’re home though.”
“Me too, Tae. I’m ready for a break.” Hoseok says. He lets his eyes fall closed as he resumes dragging his fingers through Taehyung’s hair and falls asleep to the sound of Taehyung and Jimin’s bickering.
It’s dark when Hoseok wakes back up. It takes him a moment to get his bearings, it always takes him a bit longer to get used to being back planetside. He yawns and stretches and then realises that while he had fallen asleep sitting up, he’s very much laying down now. He presses his face into his pillow only it’s not a pillow but a jean clad thigh. Hoseok looks up and Yoongi is sound asleep, head thrown back against the back of the couch, his breathing deep and slow. Hoseok sits up and smiles softly when he sees that Yoongi’s other thigh is being used as a pillow by a sleeping Jungkook. Jungkook’s got a blanket draped over him but Yoongi doesn’t, so he tugs the blanket off the back of the lounge and tucks it around Yoongi. Hoseok let’s himself take a moment just to watch Yoongi breathe and smiles in contentment before taking himself to bed, heart full.
Hoseok was two when he came to New Earth with his parents and older sister and Namjoon’s family. Most of his memories of that time have faded except for some from before they arrived; gas masks and a hazy burned orange sky, his grandmother’s laugh. He remembers arriving on New Earth clinging to his sister's hand while Namjoon held his other one and their parents showed the officials their paperwork. He also remembers the feeling of awe when he looked up at the glass roof of the dome that protected New Earth from the unstable atmosphere of the planet and seeing the never ending expanse of space. New Earth, as much as it was supposed to be humanity's second chance, wasn’t anything like original Earth when Hoseok first arrived. Now though, 21 years later, Hoseok can’t tell where memories of the old and new begin and ends.
Hoseok was eight when New Earth found a way to engineer sunlight and while Hoseok remembers those years when they only had lights designed to replicate sunshine, now he can’t imagine life without it. Now New Earth has seasons, engineered seasons but seasons none the less, day and night and while time passes differently when Hoseok is in his spaceship, here on New Earth it passes just as it did on the old.
Unlike when Hoseok was younger, now when he stretches his legs out in front of him and stares up at the sky, the sun shines back at him. It’s unseasonably warm for Spring, the sky bright and clear but Hoseok can still see the ever present stars if he tries hard enough. Hoseok takes a sip of his iced tea, wriggles his toes and lets out a slow, long breath. It’s the perfect start to a Sunday and Hoseok has no plans to move from his spot in the front yard for the whole day.
Naturally, that’s when a shadow falls over him and Hoseok lowers his sunglasses, looking up at Yoongi. “You’re blocking my sun.”
“That’s a tragedy, truly.” Yoongi says, dropping a packet of chips on Hoseok’s chest. “Did you put sunscreen on?”
“Yes mum.” Hoseok wasn’t born yesterday, he barely survived the great sunburn incident of 2015, he’s not putting himself through that again. He hates crying for one thing and pain for a second, plus there had been the humiliation of Taehyung and Jungkook filming him sobbing into a pillow while Yoongi rubbed aloe on his back and put it on Starbook. Hoseok doesn’t know what scarred him more, the public humiliation when the fucking video went viral or the lowkey boner he got from Yoongi’s hands on his skin, Yoongi’s touch the only thing that kept him from tearing his own skin off his body. The fact he can even get sunburned off the stupid fake sun is the worst turn of events.
Yoongi drops down onto the grass beside him, glaring up at the sky and pulling his hat down lower over his face. It’s a surprise Yoongi even emerged from the dark, cool house to face the day. “Jungkookie is on his way over to mow the lawn.”
“How did you manage that?” Hoseok says, stuffing a handful of chips into his mouth and wiping his hands off on his shorts. “You paying him?”
“As much as I enjoy seeing half masticated potato in your mouth, can you swallow before you talk?” Yoongi makes a disgusted face and Hoseok holds a finger up and opens his mouth to drop a dirty joke but Yoongi must realise what he says because he gives Hoseok a withering glare and continues. “And no, one of the terms we negotiated when he moved into the dorms was he would come over and do any maintenance I can’t be fucked doing.”
“You know hyung, I don’t think you could have actually stopped him moving into the dorms.” Hoseok says, stuffing more chips into his mouth and making a show of chewing them as loud and as opened mouth as possible just to piss Yoongi off. Hoseok might be stupid in fucking love with the guy but that doesn’t mean Hoseok is going to miss an opportunity to be an obnoxious asshole. Life is about balance and besides pissed off Yoongi is totally hot.
Yoongi glares at him, reaches over and flicks Hoseok on the forehead. It’s surprisingly gentle. “You sure about that?”
Hoseok laughs, sending some of the half chewed chips spraying over Yoongi and the smack in the back of the head he receives for his trouble is unsurprisingly not. “Pretty sure.”
“Yeah well. It’s pretty much written in my job description as his guardian and spiritual guide that I have to be a killjoy to keep him on the straight and narrow otherwise he’ll go and get a tattoo, move to Mars and adopt a million fucking spacerats with Taehyung.” Yoongi says with a shrug.
Hoseok rolls his eyes, “You are such a dad, I can’t believe I ever thought you were cool. Besides, Jungkookie will never leave Seokjin and Namjoonie behind.”
“I am totally cool. I’m the coolest person you know.” Yoongi huffs, pushing at Hoseok so he makes space for him on his blanket.
“No you’re not. You’re a dad. You’re a dad and Jungkookie is your unnecessarily tall son. You’re a ridiculously co-dependent family.” Hoseok shoves another handful of chips in his mouth, dodging the hand that flies out to hit him.
“I’m ignoring you.” Yoongi says, laying beside him and snatching the bag of chips out of Hoseok’s hand. Hoseok glares when Yoongi tilts the bag and dumps the remaining chips into his own mouth. “I was eating those.”
“You were and now you’re not.” Yoongi says tucking the empty packet into the collar of Hoseok’s shirt.
“If this is ignoring me, you’re failing.” Hoseok slaps Yoongi’s hand when he goes in for a nipple twister. “Stop trying to fucking do that asshole.”
Naturally they dissolve into a truly mature slap fight, Yoongi demanding Hoseok show him some respect and Hoseok screeching as loud as possible just to piss Yoongi off. It ends when Yoongi flops on top of Hoseok and he doesn’t know how but it feels like Yoongi’s has fucking eleven elbows and each is hitting a soft spot. Hoseok is going to feel every bruise in the morning so he stops fighting, choosing the path of least resistance and instead wraps arms and legs around Yoongi in a tight hug. He has to take what he can get and it’s not often he gets Yoongi soft and pliant on top of him, even if it’s just Yoongi’s way of trying to hide the internal bleeding he’s giving Hoseok. Hoseok’s heart skips when he feels Yoongi’s nose brush his neck, breath warm against his skin.
“Can I ask you something?”
“If this is about the lock on the bathroom it wasn’t me.” Hoseok says, turning his head to brush his cheek against Yoongi’s.
“No that was Seokjin-hyung. Jungkook locked himself in and wouldn’t come out. That’s not what I wanted to ask though.” Yoongi says and then like magic he’s disentangled them so he can lay on his side next to Hoseok. Hoseok pushes down the cold chill of disappointment.
Hoseok can tell by Yoongi’s tone that he isn’t going to elaborate further on what happened so he shrugs, “Okay, what’s up?”
“I was thinking maybe we should look at getting someone to move into the spare room. I mean, Jungkook is off doing his thing and I want to keep his room free in case something happens and he has to come home but.” Yoongi says, “We have the fourth bedroom and we could put the extra money towards upgrading the ship.”
Hoseok hums softly while he thinks it over. It makes sense to have someone else move in, more money is always great and Hope could do with some upgrades so they can get some bigger jobs and start earning a proper wage but on the other hand Hoseok likes the way things are. Sure he misses having Jungkook around, misses being able to curl up in Jungkook’s bed and watch shitty movies on the holoprojector Seokjin and Namjoon had bought him for his last birthday or have dance offs in the kitchen instead of doing the dishes but Hoseok has never had Yoongi to himself like this before and he’s not sure if he wants to give that up. He likes staying up late talking with Yoongi, he likes falling asleep together on the couch marathoning dramas. He likes Yoongi, likes having uninterrupted access to Yoongi. But Hoseok is an adult, no matter how much he likes to pretend otherwise so he nods his head and says, “Yeah, sure. It makes sense. Do you have someone in mind?”
“Not really, no.” Yoongi says looking up at the sky and there’s something there, something Hoseok is missing. Hoseok lets his eyes map the profile of Yoongi’s face, his cheekbones and nose, the curve of his jaw. There’s a faint stain of pink on Yoongi’s cheeks and Hoseok can’t tell if it’s because Yoongi is hiding something from him or if it’s because Yoongi is a delicate flower who can get a sunburn from sitting too close to a lamp. Hoseok keeps watching him and Yoongi doesn’t give him a second glance. Eventually Hoseok dozes off, maybe a few minute, maybe for an hour but he startles awake when he hears, “Fucking kids always on my lawn.” followed by a “Yah! Jungkookie! You couldn’t have left your entourage at home?”
Hoseok blinks, stretches and sits up, pushing his sunglasses on to the top of his head. Jungkook is walking up the path, followed by Taehyung and Jimin who are whispering and pushing at each other. Jimin and Taehyung start giggling, their laughter getting louder the closer they get. Hoseok blinks again, not ready for Jimin’s blinding smile so soon after waking up.
“Sorry hyung, they follow me everywhere these days.” Jungkook lets out a put upon sigh and gives Yoongi a hug. “I’m the coolest person they know, it’s understandable.”
“They mustn’t get out much.” Hoseok says, holding his arms out for a hug from his spot on the lawn, wrapping his arms tight around Jungkook when he leans down. Hoseok runs a hand down Jungkook’s back and Jungkook gives him a squeeze.
“We just love our Jungkookie so much.” Taehyung says, pitching his voice into a high squeal and draping himself over Jungkook’s back which sends all three of them sprawling onto the lawn. Hoseok groans from his spot on the bottom of the pile, “I think someone just punctured my pancreas.”
Jungkook whines, his voice close to Hoseok’s ear, “Tae get the fuck off me. You’re fucking heavy.”
“Get the fuck off me hyung.” Taehyung says cheerfully. “Come on Kookie, use your words.”
“I hate you hyung. Please get the fuck off me hyung or I am going to rip off your dick and choke you with it hyung” Jungkook grits out, pushing his free arm up so he can smack Taehyung in the face. Hoseok can’t actually see but he feels when Taehyung gets off the top of the pile, pulling Jungkook with him and cooing “Aww, you’re so cute when you threaten violence my cute little Kookie.”
Hoseok snorts when Taehyung takes off running, Jungkook chasing behind him screaming threats. He turns to tell Yoongi that they might need to start planning a funeral, plans on making a crack about Yoongi raising someone even more violent than he is but Yoongi isn’t next to him anymore. Now he’s clear across the other side of the yard, leaning against the fence and chatting with Jimin. Jimin laughs, a high, sweet sound that carries across the yard, and Hoseok watches Jimin throw himself forward, doubling over and grabbing hold of Yoongi’s arm for balance. Hoseok half expects to see the usual judgemental look on Yoongi’s face that he always gets whenever someone new gets too friendly too soon but Yoongi is smiling at Jimin, his proper smile, the rare one that’s usually reserved for Jungkook and Hoseok, sometimes Namjoon when the mood takes him. Hoseok feels jealousy burn through his veins like lava.
Hoseok gets to his feet, gathering his glass and blanket. He watches Jungkook struggle with the lawnmower for a moment to a soundtrack of Taehyung calling out advice while Jungkook alternates between ignoring him and yelling for Taehyung to stop helping. Hoseok glances over and Yoongi and Jimin are still deep in conversation, Jimin’s hand on Yoongi’s arm. Hoseok has known Yoongi long enough to know that Yoongi is in flirt mode. It mostly involves leaning against stuff while making comments to elicit laughter from Jimin and looking completely surprised when it works. Hoseok turns away to take the heaviness in his stomach and the weird pain in his chest into the house just as the lawnmower roars to life to the excited shouts of Taehyung and Jungkook.
The air in the house is cooler than the outside temperature courtesy of Yoongi’s forethinking to close all of the blinds. Hoseok shivers slightly, the air bringing out goosebumps along his sun warmed bare arms. Hoseok rinses his glass in the sink and rests against the counter, frowning. Something feels off, like he’s missing something. It’s not like Yoongi and Hoseok’s house is closed off to newcomers, god knows they’ve had enough strays through their door over the years, Taehyung is a magnet for new people and where ever Jungkook is Taehyung and his new best friend are never far behind. It’s just that no one has ever taken to Yoongi like Jimin has and Yoongi definitely hasn’t taken to anyone like he has to Jimin. It leaves Hoseok feeling unsettled.
Things have been good since Jungkook moved out and Yoongi and Hoseok have been planetside. Yoongi and Hoseok eat breakfast together and take it in turns cooking dinner. Chores are delegated by cut throat games of Rock-Paper-Scissors and it works. Hoseok and Yoongi have always been close but Hoseok feels like they’ve gotten even closer now. Hoseok’s crush has settled into something else, the flickering flame of hope that Hoseok has held on to like a lifeline has exploded into a wildfire, burning his bones and engulfing his heart. Yoongi smiles at him and his heart explodes like a solar flare. Yoongi brushes past him and Hoseok swears he can see the scorch marks on his skin. Yoongi curls into Hoseok’s side when they watch a movie and Hoseok has to remind himself to breathe. Hoseok wants to say something, wants to confess but the time never seems right and deep down Hoseok is terrified of losing Yoongi. So Hoseok doesn’t say anything and settles instead to burn from the inside out.
Things are going well, maybe too well and maybe that’s why Hoseok feels off, like the other shoe is going to drop.
Hoseok’s attention snaps from the window to where Jimin is standing in the doorway. “Jimin, hey, sorry I zoned out, I didn’t hear you come in.” Hoseok is babbling, he knows he’s babbling It’s a nervous habit and he can feel his mood plummeting fast.
“Sorry, I just wanted to say hi.” Jimin says, stepping into the room with a cautious smile. “Is everything okay, hyung? You look upset.”
Hoseok shakes his head, plasters his very best fake smile on his face and says, “I’m good, I just wanted to get away from the noise.”
Jimin makes a noise of understanding and sits up on the counter. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure Jiminie, what’s up?” Hoseok asks, resting against the counter. Hoseok hasn’t spent a lot of time one on one with Jimin, really exchanging pleasantries and the occasional conversation as a group.
“Yoongi mentioned that you were looking for a roommate.” Jimin says, kicking his legs so his bare feet bounce off the kitchen cabinets.
Hoseok blinks. That was unexpected. “Um, well. I mean we talked about it?” Hoseok says. The weird feeling in his stomach is getting weirder by the second. “Why?”
Jimin shrugs, “I was telling Yoongi that I needed to move out of where I am at the moment and he said I should talk to you about the spare room.”
“You have to move?” Hoseok repeats frowning, “Why?”
“Self preservation mostly, my room mate is kind of a douche. A mega douche actually.” Jimin says, smile slipping slightly. “The eats my food, has sex in my bed, invites his friends over to get drunk and make fun of me kind of douche.”
Hoseok’s stomach twists and he knows he’s going to say yes, even if the part of his brain that’s turned into a jealous monster tells him not to. Jimin is a good kid, he doesn’t deserve that shit and if Hoseok can get him out of that situation then he will even if his heart is screaming at him to say no.
“We really only talked about renting the room out about an hour ago but I guess if hyung mentioned it, it was for a reason.” Hoseok says, even though his brain is screaming for him to say no.
Jimin’s answering smile is as bright as the fucking sun. He wonders if maybe the engineers have considered harnessing the energy from Jimin’s smile to keep costs down. “Yeah? Really? Are you sure? I know you don’t--I mean. Thanks, hyung. Seriously.”
“You’re welcome, Jimin.” Hoseok waits a beat and says, “What were you going to say? I don’t--?”
“Oh, I guess, I know we’re not really friends or whatever so I appreciate it.” Jimin says as he slides off the kitchen bench, landing lightly on his feet.
“Jiminie.” Hoseok says and even though his heart is aching he can’t bring himself to be mean to Jimin. It’s not his fault Hoseok is desperately in love with his best friend. “We’re friends, okay? We might not be close yet but we’re definitely friends.”
“Okay, hyung.” Jimin says softly, in a way that says he doesn’t really believe Hoseok. “I should go and let Tae know that I’m not going to need to sleep under his bed for the foreseeable future.”
Hoseok watches him go and sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. He’s going to kill Yoongi.
Everything changes when Jimin moves in. The dynamic shifts because unlike with Jungkook who was generally an extension of Yoongi when it came to personality and habits, Jimin is the polar opposite. He’s up at the crack of dawn to go for a run and suddenly there’s healthy food packets in the fridge and an assortment of supplements in the cupboards and now when Hoseok walks into the lounge room it’s not unusual to find Jimin on the floor watching a music program holoprojector and doing a zillion sit ups in time with the music. It’s obscene. At least Jungkook kept his weird workout routine to his bedroom.
Yoongi and Jimin get along like a house on fire. Hoseok wakes up in the morning and they’ll be eating breakfast together, he gets home from installing a new nav system and Yoongi and Jimin are cooking dinner together. Hoseok gets home from spending the day with Namjoon and Seokjin to find Jimin and Yoongi curled up on the lounge together watching the drama Hoseok had been hoarding to watch with Yoongi on the holoprojector. Hoseok has taken to doing the grocery shopping on a Sunday alone because Yoongi and Jimin are nowhere to be found. Hoseok can’t remember the last time he spent one on one time with Yoongi and he can’t help but feel left out, can’t help but feel that all of the things he holds dearest to him are slipping away. He barely sees Jungkook anymore what with classes and his tight schedule of hanging around with Namjoon and Seokjin. Namjoon and Seokjin are also usually busy working whenever Hoseok is bored and looking to hang out or when they are free Jungkook is usually there and as much as it’s an opportunity to see all three of his friends Hoseok is doing his utmost to avoid that weird almost threesome thing they have going on.
He meets Taehyung for coffee once or twice but he can’t relax there either because Jimin and Taehyung are best friends and the last thing Hoseok wants is to cause weirdness by venting about Jimin stealing Yoongi from him. Not that Yoongi seems bothered by being stolen. Not that Yoongi was ever Hoseok’s to begin with he is starting to realise.
Hoseok spends most of his time alone and the only good thing that comes with that is that at least he doesn’t have to pretend when he’s all alone. He doesn’t have to pretend to be happy, doesn’t have to pretend to be okay. He doesn’t have to pretend to be anything but what he is, sad, lonely and tired.
Hoseok starts spending time on the roof, stargazing and wondering what it would be like to just take off in Hope and never return. He wonders what it would be like to live among the stars, discover new planets and galaxies, trails comets and navigate asteroid belts. He wonders if anyone would miss him, if anyone would notice. For as long as Hoseok can remember he’s always been the one relied on to be happy and cheerful. When he was little his mum would call him her hope, would praise him for always being happy, for having a beautiful smile and a laugh that would make even the worst situation better. It was a role he grew up playing, even if it meant pushing away his true feelings, never letting himself feel sad where anyone could see. Everyone knows that Jung Hoseok is made from sunshine and laughter and Hoseok plays the part to perfection. Deep down though, underneath it all, Hoseok is breaking and no one has a clue.
It’s Friday night movie night. Namjoon and Seokjin have set up camp on one of the lounges and Jungkook has settled himself at their feet in a truly subtle attempt to worm his way into their space. Jungkook’s crush on Namjoon and Seokjin is legendary. It had started with Jungkook forming a crush on Namjoon, something Yoongi found adorable and horrifying in equal measure. Hoseok however thought it was 100% adorable the way Jungkook would alternate between staring and turning bright red whenever Namjoon spoke to him. In all honestly it took a lot for Hoseok to not coo and pinch Jungkook’s cheeks every time.
Hoseok and Yoongi expected there to be heartbreak when Namjoon had brought his boyfriend Seokjin to dinner one night but Jungkook just went and developed a crush on him too. For their part, Namjoon and Seokjin roll with it and for his part Jungkook has mastered the ability to form coherent sentences around them.
Taehyung has stretched out across the floor, popcorn bowl balanced on his stomach and head pillowed on Jungkook’s thigh, leaving the other lounge for Yoongi and Hoseok. Hoseok had been on edge at first, it’s literally been weeks since Hoseok has been this close to Yoongi, but he settles once Yoongi curled up into his side and proceeded to complain about the movie choice for ten minutes before Taehyung had thrown a handful of popcorn at him. It made it a bit hard to be tense when he was holding Yoongi back from throttling Taehyung.
They’re half way through the movie when the doorbell rings. Yoongi frowns, “Are you expecting someone?”
Hoseok shakes his head no and stretches, dislodging Yoongi from his side, to answer the door. The doorbell rings again just as Hoseok opens the door and Jimin’s on the doorstep, smiling and drenched from head to toe. “Um, I guess that storm hit huh?” Hoseok says, standing aside so Jimin can come in.
“As soon as I got off the skyrail.” Jimin says, kicking his shoes off. “Sorry, I forgot my key this morning.”
Even wet and shivering, Jimin still looks like his usual cheerful self. “You should probably go and get some dry clothes on before you catch a cold. Have you eaten?”
Jimin shakes his head, “Not yet, no.”
“There’s still some pizza left. Go dry off and I’ll heat it up for you.” Hoseok says, pushing him gently towards the bathroom. “Hurry up though or you’ll have to fight the others for it.”
“Thanks, hyung.” Jimin calls over his shoulder as he walks into the bathroom.
Hoseok heats the pizza up for Jimin and makes him a cup of tea as well to help warm him up. Hoseok gets distracted scrolling through his Starbook feed so by the time he returns to the living room, pizza and tea in hand, Jimin is curled up in the corner of the lounge with Yoongi. It’s fine, it’s not like Jimin could have known that Hoseok had been sitting there before, so he ignores the flare of jealousy and hands Jimin his dinner. There’s no room left on the lounge so Hoseok grabs a throw pillow and blanket and curls up next to Taehyung who is more than happy to cuddle with him.
Hoseok didn’t realise he had fallen asleep until he wakes up with a stiff back, the living room dark except for the glow of the holoprojector. He blinks a couple of times, Taehyung is asleep beside him, clutching his tablet to his chest and when he tilts his head back he can see Namjoon and Seokjin asleep on the lounge with a blanket draped over them. Jungkook’s asleep as well, curled up under a blanket of his own with Namjoon’s fingers in his hair where his head rests against the lounge.
Hoseok shifts under his blankets, eyes drifting closed again and that’s when he hears the soft low voices coming from the other lounge. Hoseok opens his eyes again to see Jimin and Yoongi settled under a blanket with mugs of tea in their hands, talking quietly. It’s not anything Hoseok hasn’t seen before, it’s not like Hoseok hasn’t found Yoongi and Jungkook, Yoongi and Namjoon, hell even Yoongi and Taehyung when Taehyung had a fight with Seokjin and had proceeded to cry all night while Yoongi talked him down in this same position but there’s something about it this time that sits funny with Hoseok. Hoseok has seen Yoongi and Jimin in this position a million times over the last few weeks but there’s something about this, the dark room except for the glow from the holoprojector and the way that Jimin and Yoongi are curled into each other that is so intimate that Hoseok just knows that it’s over. Everything he thought he was moving towards with Yoongi is over and it isn’t jealousy this time that curls itself around Hoseok’s heart and squeezes. It’s resignation that he’s never going to get what he wants. Hoseok takes a steadying breath and then makes a show of waking up, and when Yoongi asks where he’s going he fakes a sleepy smile and says, “Bed hyung. The floor is uncomfortable.”
Hoseok doesn’t hang around long enough to hear a response. He shuts his bedroom door and rests his forehead against the hardwood surface. “Fuck.” He whispers. “I need to get a fucking grip.”
Hoseok takes a job the next day. He tells Yoongi about it, says he can handle it by himself and takes off in Hope as quickly as he can. He needs perspective, he needs time, just him and his ship and the endless expanse of space. Namjoon calls two cycles in check up on him and it’s nice to hear a friendly voice even though it’s obvious that Namjoon knows something is going on and is trying not to ask. Hoseok feed him a load of fake cheer and Namjoon is nice enough not to call him out on it and then Hoseok is once again alone with his thoughts.
Hoseok gets home from the job and walks in on Yoongi and Jimin kissing in the kitchen.
They don’t notice him so he walks back out into the hallway, opens the front door and slams it to announce his arrival. When he walks into the kitchen he pretends not to notice the careful distance between Yoongi and Jimin, the flush on Yoongi’s cheeks or the way Jimin’s lips look swollen and redder than usual. Hoseok talks non stop through dinner, too fast and too loud, anything to drown out the noise in his head and the ache in his chest. He ignores the way Yoongi and Jimin keep sneaking looks at each other and as soon as possible he excuses himself from the table, faking exhaustion and locks himself in his bedroom.
Hoseok has been laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling for the past hour when there’s a knock at the door. Hoseok considers ignoring it, thinks about maybe letting out a fake snore so whoever it is goes away but then Yoongi’s voice calls out “Hoseok, I know you’re awake.” and Hoseok knows no amount of fake snoring is going to work. He sighs, pushes to his feet and unlocks the door, opening it just enough to see Yoongi but not enough that Yoongi feels like he’s being invited in. Apparently Yoongi doesn’t get that particular message because he pushes the door open further and walks into the room, dropping down onto Hoseok’s bed and making himself comfortable.
“Won’t you come in, hyung.” Hoseok mutters under his breath, closing the door. He considers sitting on the bed but settles instead for the desk chair and he just catches the look of confusion on Yoongi’s face before it disappears.
“So are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?” Yoongi says, cutting straight to chase and Hoseok feels a flare of anger, which is new, especially when it comes to Yoongi, but Hoseok is also really fucking tired and he’s never been good at self control when he’s tired.
“I could ask you the same thing, hyung.” Hoseok snaps back and the look Yoongi gives him would usually send him running but not this time, this time it just frustrates him more.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yoongi demands. “You’re the one who has been a walking thundercloud for the last week.”
“Yeah well, at least I’m not the one who is dumping his best friend to make out with his roommate.” Hoseok says, crossing his arms across his chest. “I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to be upset.”
Yoongi sits up on the bed and mimics Hoseok’s pose, “What are you even talking about? I haven’t dumped you.” Hoseok notices he doesn’t deny the making out part. It’s not comforting.
“Really? When was the last time you spent more than five minutes with me since Jimin moved in? You don’t go grocery shopping with me, we don’t eat breakfast together, or cook dinner together anymore. You never meet me for lunch or help out with the ship. I literally only see you if I’m hanging around with Jungkook and you drop by.” Hoseok knows he is probably overreacting but he just can’t stop himself. It’s like the weeks of frustration and hurt have formed a tidal wave and he’s powerless to stop it. “Face it hyung, you don’t have time for me. You couldn’t even save my fucking spot on the lounge the other night while I went and made your boyfriend a cup of tea.”
Yoongi blinks. Opens his mouth. Closes it. Blinks again. Hoseok is about to jump in for another torrent of feelings when Yoongi says, “Are you listening to yourself right now? I’ve literally had more mature arguments with Jungkook. When he was thirteen.”
“Fuck you, Yoongi.” Hoseok spits back and the satisfaction of dropping the honorific settles in his stomach. He stands up and marches over to the door. “Get out of my room.”
“I can’t believe--this is so fucking--I swear I should smack you Hoseok.” Yoongi stomps, actually stomps, towards the door. “You’re being a fucking brat.”
“Whatever.” Hoseok can feel himself losing steam at the look on Yoongi’s face. Yoongi looks hurt and it’s all Hoseok’s fault. It doesn’t stop him from slamming the door closed behind Yoongi when he walks out though. Hoseok throws himself on the bed, presses his face into a pillow and screams. His life is a fucking mess.
Hoseok stays in his room for the rest of the night and the majority of the following day. He listens to Jimin and Yoongi going to bed, waking up, cooking in the kitchen and then the front door shutting leaving the house in perfect silence. Hoseok tries to spend most of his time asleep, if he’s sleeping he doesn’t have time to think or to feel bad for the way he acted. He wakes when he hears noise coming from the other end of the house and after fumbling with his tablet he sees that it’s already 6pm. Hoseok listens to Yoongi and Jimin’s voices rise and fall, the occasional bout of laughter echoing down the hallway. He’s planning his next move when there’s a soft knock at the door and Jimin’s voice calling gently “Hyung? Are you awake? There’s some dinner if you want it.”
Hoseok holds his breath and doesn’t move. He feels stupid. Stupid and childish and embarrassed. He knows he shouldn’t have yelled at Yoongi the way he did, he should never have said all of the things he said, he should have kept them under lock and key but there’s part of him that feels good about what he did. It’s the part of him that is tired of being smiley, happy Hoseok, the part of him that is tired of never asking for what he wants because he doesn’t want to upset anyone. The part of him that is tired of being hurt by others actions, even if it’s not their intention.So Hoseok stays quiet and waits until Jimin walks away before moving again, reaching for his phone.
lets go out tonight??
Hoseok presses send and ducks out of his bedroom and into the bathroom for a shower. He manages to shower, do his hair and get back to his room without anyone trying to talk to him and he’s just pulling on his tightest pair of jeans when his tablet lights up on his desk.
Hoseok sends back an affirmative and finishes getting ready. He waits until the noise dies down in the kitchen and the holoprojector to turn on in the lounge before he makes his move. Hoseok feels a bit stupid for trying to sneak out of his own house but he really doesn’t want another confrontation with Yoongi. He just wants to go out, drink with his friends, maybe dance with a hot guy and forget about his stupid broken heart.
Hoseok quietly toes his shoes on in the hallway and glances up to check his hair in the hallway mirror only to see Yoongi’s face looking at him from over his shoulder.
Hoseok fixes his hair and then turns so he’s face to face with Yoongi. “Did you need something?” he asks, and yep, clearly Hoseok still has no control of what comes out of his mouth.
Yoongi makes a face at him, “You’re going out?”
“Yes?” Hoseok says.
“I was hoping we could talk.” Yoongi says and for a moment Hoseok thinks he actually look nervous. For a moment Hoseok almost gives in.
Hoseok shakes his head and pulls his leather jacket on, a gift from Yoongi for his 21st, “Sorry, I’m meeting friends. I don’t want to keep them waiting.”
“I’m your friend.” Yoongi says softly. Hoseok ignores the ache in his chest and pushes all of his energy and focus into looking unaffected when he says, “Yeah, sure you are.”
Hoseok doesn’t stick around to see the look on Yoongi’s face or hear his response.
Hoseok loves Namjoon. Namjoon is like, super tall and buys Hoseok lots of alcohol and doesn’t mind when Hoseok spends twenty minutes touching his hair and making up songs about how soft it is, no really Joonie it’s like a soft--soft thing. Namjoon is also really warm and great at not letting Hoseok fall on his face while he throws up in the alley by the nightclub.
“I love you, Joonie.” Hoseok says between heaves because it’s important that Namjoon knows that he is the love of Hoseok’s life. Tonight at least. “Why can’t I just date you?”
“Because I have Seokjin and a very persistent Jungkookie on my hands, I am only one man.” Namjoon says smoothing Hoseok’s hair off his face when he straightens. “Besides I’m pretty sure I’d rather do shots of acid than touch your dick.”
Hoseok hiccups and wobbles slightly, “You’re such a good friend. Seok--Seokjin is really lucky to have you.”
Namjoon sighs and guides Hoseok to the edge of a concrete planter box. Hoseok slumps and looks down at his feet. “Why doesn’t he love me Joonie?”
A warm hand presses to the back of his neck and Namjoon crouches down so they’re eye level. “I think that things are a little bit more complicated than you think Hobi.”
Hoseok doesn’t have time to think too hard about what Namjoon says because his stomach rolls again and he only just makes it to his feet before he throws up again, the muscles in his stomach screaming at him as he empties everything he’s eaten in the past year out on the street and, unfortunately, Namjoon’s shoes when he gets a little bit too close.
Hoseok doesn’t know how long he throws up for but by the time he’s just dry heaving and maybe crying a little bit a pair of warm hands are smoothing his hair back from his face and petting his back, but it’s not Namjoon’s voice speaking in soft low tones and it’s not Namjoon who helps him into a taxi and it’s very much not Namjoon who helps him out of his clothes and into bed. Hoseok catches a shock of dark hair, a flash of collarbone and two voices speaking above him, one low and the other slightly higher, before he falls asleep.
The thing is, no matter how much Hoseok wants to, he can’t hate Jimin. He can’t even blame Jimin. Jimin is sweet and kind and a good housemate. He cleans up after himself and he doesn’t hog the remote and he always offers to help Hoseok out with vacuuming or dishes. Jimin is sweet sure, but he's also filled with sass that escapes from time to time, throwing out insults in a way that you don’t realise until it’s too late to form a comeback. The other thing is, Hoseok isn’t blind. Jimin’s gorgeous, he gets why Yoongi is into him, and he can’t blame Jimin or Yoongi for that, no matter how much he wants to. Sometimes Jimin will smile at Hoseok and Hoseok will lose his train of thought. Sometimes Jimin will sit beside him, thighs pressed together and Hoseok feels warm and an almost contentedness fall over him.
Eventually though it starts to feel like the stronger his relationship with Jimin becomes, the more his relationship with Yoongi falls apart. According to Namjoon, Jimin is good for Hoseok. Hoseok doesn't really see how, considering Jimin’s arrival has done nothing but throw Hoseok’s life into turmoil but Namjoon has always known what was best for Hoseok when Hoseok doesn't so he stops trying to push Jimin away and once he does, Hoseok can admit it’s kinda nice having him around. It’s nice having someone new to talk to, someone who shares a love of dance and has a similar taste in music, someone who hasn’t heard it all before, someone who has a way of making Hoseok feel important in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time.
He tells Namjoon about it while they’re eating breakfast after a night of video games while Seokjin is on an overnight shift, tells Namjoon how he feels like he’s opening up a little bit too much, like he’s sharing too much but doesn’t seem to be able to stop, not when Jimin is so willing to listen.
“I tell him things that I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone except for you, you know? It’s weird. Like, I start telling him all of this personal shit and he listens and doesn’t judge me and I can feel myself waiting for him to like, freak out or tell me I’m too intense or whatever.” Hoseok says, lifting a spoonful of cereal, tilting it and watching the cereal fall back into the bowl.
"It's your subconscious trying to scare him away to see if he's worthy of your friendship." Namjoon says, shovelling another spoonful of cereal into his mouth and talking with his mouth full.
"Dunno why, I feel pretty unworthy 90% of the time." Hoseok says with a sigh, dropping his spoon and pushing his bowl away.
"Well, yeah, but subconsciously your self worth is a lot higher." Namjoon says, reaching for Hoseok's bowl and finishing off his cereal as well. "Plus you have a crush on Jimin the size of Jupiter."
Hoseok rolls his eyes. “It’s not a crush. It’s just--”
Namjoon grins, “A crush Hoseokie. Accept it.”
Hoseok sighs and drops his head, resting his forehead on the table. “Shut up Joonie.”
The only good thing about the tension at home is that Hoseok has an excuse to spend more time working on Hope. It becomes a bit of a routine after a while, he wakes up early, goes for a walk, works on Hope for the majority of the day, and either eats with Namjoon and Seokjin or alone before heading home for a shower and bed. It’s nice to have something else to focus on that isn’t his destroyed friendship with Yoongi and his possible but not likely crush on Jimin.
Hoseok is working on Hope when the job comes through. It’s a simple run to a station hidden in one of the outer regions of star clusters, deliver the goods, collect the money. An in and out job he has done a million times before so he doesn’t even bother consulting with Yoongi about it before accepting. Besides, he knows from Taehyung that Yoongi and Jimin are planning a romantic weekend and Hoseok isn’t even going to touch that. Yoongi is busy with Jimin and Hobi is sad and feeling petty so he doesn’t bother.
Hoseok asks for more details and what he gets isn’t much of anything but Hoseok wants to get the fuck off the planet for awhile so he ignores the warning voice that sounds a lot like Yoongi and accepts.
Hoseok is three cycles into the job when he gets the feeling something isn’t right. It starts with some weird readings, like there is something that is mirroring the ship's movements but when he runs proximity scans nothing shows up. It’s not unusual for Hope to give weird readings so Hoseok sets up to run periodic scans and tries to not worry too much. It’s probably nothing, he reasons, his mind playing tricks on him. It’s been awhile since he’s run a job alone, it makes sense. So while another scan runs, Hoseok calls Namjoon and lets him distract him. Hoseok knows Namjoon doesn’t really believe him when he says nothing is wrong but is kind enough not to push. Hoseok settles into his chair, one eye on the scanner and lets Namjoon tell him what he’s missed since he left. By the time Namjoon is laughing his way through a story about Jungkook’s latest attempts to woo himself and Seokjin, the scan has come back clear and Hoseok has pushed any thoughts of the readings from his mind.
Another cycle passes and Hoseok’s settled into his chair, reading a book on his tablet while another scan runs when the nav panel explodes in a flurry of lights and incessant beeping. The proximity detectors are screaming for his attention and that’s when Hoseok sees the ship bearing down on his. An alarm goes off and Hoseok barely gets a chance to even respond to it, before Hope takes a hit and Hoseok is thrown clear across the room, hitting the wall with enough force to knock the wind out of him. Hoseok groans and stays low as Hope takes another hit, crawling across the floor and trying to ignore the way his left side feels like it’s on fire, the way his arm screams with pain every time he moves it. By the time Hoseok manages to pull himself into his chair, the other ship is right over the top of him, alarms are screaming at him and then there’s another hit, the ship is plunged into darkness and Hoseok knows that this is the end. Hope isn’t equipped for a fire fight, not like this, and Hoseok does the only thing he can think of. He calls Yoongi to say goodbye.
Hoseok has slipped to the floor and pressed himself into the corner of the room by the time Yoongi answers. He lets out a pained “Yoongi”, and he can feel something warm and wet on his face, tears mixing with the blood from the cut on his face. “Yoongi, I’m under attack. The ship. Hope is--I’m.”
Hoseok can hear Yoongi yelling but there’s too much noise, too much pain for him to focus on and then he hears Yoongi let out a panicked “Hoseok fucking answer me.” and yes, Hoseok can do that. “Hyung” he says, and wow that hurts, that stings, he feels like something is pushing against his chest.
“Hoseok, listen to me. You have to get to the escape pod, can you do that?” Yoongi sounds so far away and Hoseok feels like he should let Yoongi know that because Yoongi should be closer. The ship tilts to the side and Hoseok’s stomach rolls. “You’re too far away.” he says, holding a hand to his side with a gasp. “Hyung, where are you?”
Yoongi swears “Hoseok, I’m right here, but I need you to get into the pod okay? If you get in the pod you can come home to me.”
“Okay.” Hoseok says, nodding even though it makes flashes of white dance in front of his eyes and his chest ache. “Okay, yes. I can do that.”
Hoseok takes a shaky breath and drags himself towards the escape pod. He can hear Yoongi still talking to him, telling him to breathe, encouraging him to keep moving and Hoseok can’t help but laugh that it’s taken this to get Yoongi to talk to him. There’s another explosion, right above him and debris falls around him as the ship starts to break up. Sparks fly like star showers and there's metal and glass embedded in his skin, a burning heat along his leg but the evacuation pod is so close. Hoseok lets out a pained cry he drags himself inside, sucking in a shallow breath as he pulls himself into the chair. Yoongi is yelling questions that he can’t answer, the edges of his vision are turning black.
Hoseok gasps in pain as the harness closes around his chest and says “I’m here, I’m in.”
“All you need to do is hit the launch button, okay?”
Hoseok can hear his voice but he’s finding it harder and harder to keep his eyes open. There’s a wet, sticky warmth pooling on his side and the room is spinning but he can see the launch button right in front of him, all he to do is reach for it.The last thing he does before he passes out is push the pod into drive, feel the rush of the pod detaching and hurtling away from his ship and then there is nothing.
The first thing Hoseok becomes aware of when he starts to wake up is beeping. Repetitive and incessant beeping. The rhythm of the beeping changes as Hoseok begins to become aware of more things, mostly his pounding head and the stabbing pain in his chest whenever he breathes, but also the solid weight in his hand. Probably the remote he thinks and then the beeping becomes faster and slightly louder. Fucking Jungkook and his fucking video games.
"Turn it down, Kookie." Hoseok mutters and then his eyes fly open when the weight in his hand moves. The beeping isn't one of Jungkook's games like he thought but actually a machine connected to his arm by thin, multicolored wires. The weight in his hand it turns out is Namjoon's hand. Namjoon who is now stretching across to hit a red button on the wall without letting go of Hoseok's hand, muttering curses under his breath.
The pain in his head sharpens the louder the beeps get and suddenly it's less hammer cracking his skull and more icepick piercing his brain and Hoseok is not about this life. He shuts his eyes, takes a shallow breath and suddenly it's not just his head and chest that aches but his entire body. Hoseok lets out a totally embarrassing whimper and squeezes his eyes shut tight.
"Hey, Hobi you're okay." Namjoon's voice is close to his ear, his hand squeezes Hoseok's gently. "The nurse is on her way."
The nurse, it turns out, has already arrived and suddenly Namjoon's hand is no longer holding his. The nurse is gentle but firm, asking questions that Hoseok can't seem to focus on because the beeping won't fucking stop and he must say that bit out loud because the machine falls silent a moment later and the nurse starts asking questions again. Hoseok answers as best he can, yes he can feel his limbs, no he doesn't know what day it is, yes he knows the name of his childhood best friend because the idiot is sitting in the seat next to him trying not to cry. Hoseok's eyes might be closed but he knows what Kim Namjoon sounds like when he's on the verge of tears.
Hoseok hates the hospital. The bed is uncomfortable, the food is terrible and any time Hoseok tries to take a nap someone comes in and pokes at him while scolding him for not getting enough rest.
Namjoon is there every day, never leaving his side for longer than the time it takes for him to use the bathroom or get a coffee and something to eat. Sometimes Seokjin comes with him, sneaking food in for Hoseok and those days are the best days. It helps having someone to talk to and to try and keep the nurses at bay so Hoseok can get some shut eye. Jimin and Jungkook come by as well, Taehyung in tow and they tell him about all the things he's missing on his dramas. Hoseok really enjoys having his friends around but it also emphasises the fact that Yoongi doesn't come to see him. Jimin is awkward with him, trying too hard to make up for Yoongi’s absence while also being unbelievable sweet in a way that makes Hoseok’s heart ache. Jungkook and Taehyung talk over each other, working overtime to cheer Hoseok up and then when they run out of things to say they both curl up beside him on the far too small bed and stay quiet but comforting beside him.
Hoseok waits until the third day to ask Namjoon, casually dropping a question about Yoongi into conversation. Namjoon frowns and hesitates before telling Hoseok that Yoongi does come to see him, he just comes at night while Hoseok is sleeping. Namjoon doesn't tell Hoseok anything else and Hoseok doesn’t push. Namjoon looks uncomfortable disclosing that much so Hoseok drops the subject and decides to take control of the situation himself.
The following night Hoseok forces himself to stay awake after Namjoon leaves for the evening. He tells the nurse that he doesn't need any extra pain medication (a lie) and waits for Yoongi. Time passes slowly and Hoseok battles fatigue and pain waiting until eventually he hears footsteps coming down the hall, stopping outside his door. Hoseok quickly shuts his eyes and regulates his breathing as much as he can as he feigns sleep. The door opens and shuts softly and after years of living in each other’s back pocket Hoseok can tell that it's Yoongi purely by the half walk, half shuffle way he has of moving. Hoseok hears him pause by the bed, listens to the tell tale rattle and paper shuffle as Yoongi flicks through the chart at the foot of the bed and then there's the sound of a chair being pulled closer before cool, gentle fingers are brushing across Hoseok's forehead.
"Still warm." Yoongi mutters softly to himself. Hoseok totally plans on opening his eyes, totally plans on surprising Yoongi and demanding he talk to him, totally plans on asking why Yoongi doesn’t visit him when Hoseok is awake but his body doesn’t cooperate. Instead he sinks deeper into the mattress, Yoongi's fingers cool and soothing and Yoongi is muttering softly to himself or maybe to Hoseok, he can't be sure but that's all Hoseok remembers before he gives in to sleep.
When Hoseok wakes again the room is filled with early morning sunlight and Yoongi is gone.
After almost two weeks of hospital beds and hospital food and no Yoongi, Hoseok finally gets to go home. There’s a debate between Namjoon and Jimin over who actually gets to take Hoseok home and by the time they’ve both ended the politest argument Hoseok has ever witnessed, Seokjin and Jungkook have bundled Hoseok into Taehyung’s car and they decide to take Hoseok home as a group.
Hoseok has never, ever been happier in his life to see his bed. It’s been made up with fresh sheets and a million pillows that Jungkook and Taehyung present proudly to Hoseok. Namjoon helps Hoseok into bed but Jimin is the one to pull the covers up over him and Seokjin is giving instructions on medication cycles and pain relief but Hoseok doesn’t hear anything because he’s already fallen into blissful sleep.
The nightmares start the following day. It’s the first day where Namjoon isn’t there every minute of the day, having finally gone back to work and the kids are all back attending classes and living their lives as well. Jimin pops his head in regularly between classes but Yoongi is still a no show, the house is silent and Hoseok feels all the things he hasn’t processed yet, fear and pain and terror slowly start to creep up on him.
The schedule for his pain relief and other medication he’s been prescribed is beside the bed and it helps slightly, takes the edge off enough for Hoseok to drift off to sleep but not enough that the sleep is dreamless. At first there’s nothing and then there’s flashes of explosions and Hoseok can feel himself starting to panic. He screams for help but the sound is muted like he’s underwater and he knows he’s alone, knows that no one will help him. He see himself crawling for the escape pod and it’s like reliving the attack all over again only this time no one is answering his calls, this time he doesn’t make it to the pod because an explosion rips through the ship, taking Hoseok with it and when he jolts awake a cry for help is dying on his lips. Hoseok gasps for air, lays back against the pillows and screws his eyes shut tight, echoes of explosions ringing in his ears and after what feels like forever he finally calms down enough to get himself to the bathroom on shaky legs and empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet.
The nightmares don’t stop after that. Every time he loses his battle with sleep he relives the same dreams over and over on a loop, night after night and every night Hoseok wakes up and feels like the entire universe is falling in on his chest. He doesn’t mention it, not to Namjoon and Jimin who have definitely noticed how strung out and exhausted he looks, not the nurse who comes to check on his wounds once every two days. He might be tempted to say something to Yoongi but Yoongi han’t stepped foot inside Hoseok’s room since he arrived home. Hoseok knows it’s his fault, his shitty behaviour has driven a wedge between them, jealousy and the shitty things he said to Yoongi causing too much hurt that he really can’t blame Yoongi for staying away. Truth be told, Hoseok would be willing to endure the nightmares if it meant Yoongi would speak to him again.
Hoseok is quiet, curled up against Namjoon’s side. Hoseok feels heavy, like his bones are made of lead, his head feels like it’s been packed solid with cotton wool and his eyes have been burning since he woke up. Namjoon hadn’t tried to make him talk when Hoseok had shown up at 2am, trembling on Namjoon and Seokjin’s doorstep after the worst nightmare yet and Hoseok had been grateful that Namjoon knew him well enough to not push. Now, an hour of silence later Hoseok feels like maybe he can trust himself to speak.
“Namjoonie?” Hoseok says softly. He throat feels raw, like he’s swallowed razorblades. “Do you think I ask for too much from people?”
Hoseok feels Namjoon’s body shift against his, slouching so they’re eye to eye. “No.” Namjoon says, “I think you could afford to ask for more too be honest.”
“I feel like.” Hoseok starts and then frowns. “I feel like maybe I’m not meant to be loved, you know? Like maybe I’m just not the kind of person who gets to have that, you know?”
“That’s bullshit, Hobi.” Namjoon says. “You are worth so much more than you think. The timing is just off at the moment, that’s all.”
“Yeah.” Hoseok says, looking away from Namjoon because he doesn’t trust himself not to fall apart. “The timing seems to always be off when it comes to me.”
“He’s going to come around, Hobi. He’s just processing, you know? We all are really.” Namjoon says softly. “We almost lost you.”
“I think it’s more than that. I was a shit person, Joonie. I fucked up and I was--god I was so fucking mean and spiteful and why? Because he and Jimin got together? Because he’s happy? Why can’t I accept that? Why am I such a shit person?” Hoseok can feel pressure building in his chest, tears stinging his eyes. “All I wanted was for him to love me as much as I love him and now I’ve gone and fucked it up and to top it off I’m pretty sure I’m in love with Jimin too.”
Namjoon makes a soft shushing noise and then Hoseok is being pulled into Namjoon’s chest. “You need sleep, okay? Sleep and Seokjin’s pancakes for breakfast and maybe spend a couple of nights here with us.”
“Seokjin won’t mind?” Hoseok asks and usually he wouldn’t even bother, he’s always passing out in Namjoon and Seokjin’s spare room or on their lounge but at the moment his entire worldview is a fucking mess and he’s not a hundred percent sure he’s not about to cry.
“Idiot.” Namjoon says fondly getting to his feet and tugging Hoseok up more gentle than Namjoon usually is with him. “Come on, bed.”
Hoseok lets Namjoon lead him to the spare room and they both pretend like Namjoon doesn’t tuck him in and they both pretend that Namjoon doesn’t kiss his forehead and they both pretend that Namjoon leaving the hallway door open a crack isn’t on purpose. They’ve always had a friendship built on rough and tumble and pushing each other's buttons but there has always been an element of taking care of each other while pretending they’re not and it brings Hoseok some comfort to know that at least his friendship with Namjoon hasn’t changed. Hoseok curls around one of the pillows Namjoon had put beside him, knowing Hoseok likes to cuddle in his sleep and listens as Namjoon shut his and Seokjin’s door, drifting to sleep to a soundtrack of their soft, muted voices from the other room.
The nightmares are still present while he’s at Namjoon and Seokjin’s but they’re muted somehow, like his subconscious knows now that these dreams aren’t his reality, that Namjoon is across the hall and Hoseok is safe. He starts to feel better after a few nights of less broken sleep and Hoseok decides it’s time to go home. Partially because he knows he can’t hide forever, that things won’t be fixed with Yoongi if they’re not under the same roof but also because Hoseok has become distinctly aware of the late night arrival and early morning exit of Jungkook and to be honest, Hoseok has enough on his plate without giving that situation any real estate in his brain.
Hoseok isn’t surprised when he comes home to an empty house. At this point he’s surprised Yoongi hasn’t told him to move out altogether but then again he supposes Yoongi would have to actually speak to him for that to happen. He knows it’s his fault, that he caused this mess but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. Hoseok drops his bag in his room and curls up on the lounge under a throw blanket and tries to come up with ways to fix things with Yoongi when the front door opens and shuts and in walks the man himself.
Yoongi freezes in the doorway when he spots Hoseok, staring at him like he’s shocked to see him and Hoseok scratches at one of the bandages on his arm. “Hey.”
Yoongi blinks. “You’re home.” he says, more statement of fact than anything.
It’s awkward, painfully so but at least Yoongi isn’t throwing things at him or screaming for him to get out and that gives Hoseok a push that he was looking for. “Can we talk?” he asks. “Please?”
Hoseok can see the no forming on Yoongi’s tongue but Yoongi seems to push it away, settling for nodding stiffly and walking further into the room. An awkward silence stretches between them once Yoongi sits down, broken by Yoongi himself when he says, “You wanted to talk so talk, Hoseok.”
“I’m sorry.” Hoseok blurts out. “I was a dickhead and I fucked up and I’m sorry.”
Yoongi snorts softly, “Understatement but okay.”
“I know. I know I was--I’m sorry hyung. I was a total asshole.” Hoseok says. “I was--”
“A jerk. You were a jerk. A mean, nasty, hurtful jerk.” Yoongi interrupts. “And selfish. Selfish as well.”
“I know, I’m apologising--”
“No. You don’t get to just sit there and say you’re sorry and everything is better. Do you have any idea what you put me through?” Yoongi says voice low and pissed off.
“I know hyung.” Hoseok says, slumping down into his chair feeling every bit as shitty as he deserves to feel.
“No you don’t. You scared the fuck out of me Hoseok. You fucking. You were fucking reckless, trying to get back at me for I don’t even fucking know what and you fucking. You almost died. Do you have any idea how fucking scared I was? Do you have any idea what it was like having to hear all of that and not know if you were going to make it out alive? I almost fucking lost you and here you are acting like it was just a petty argument over your stupid crush on Jiminie.”
“I don’t know what you want from me.” Hoseok snaps.He doesn’t respond to the Jimin comment figuring now is not the time to start that drama. “I said I was sorry.”
Yoongi throws his arms up in the air, “Well then. If you’re sorry then I guess that everything is okay. You know what Hoseok? I love you but I really want to fucking punch you right now.“
“Will it make you feel better? I deserve it so you might as well go ahead.” Hoseok says. He sounds desperate even to his own ears. He can feel this argument spiralling out of control and it hurts. He feels panicked and short of breath so he presses his hand to his chest and rubs, trying to break up the heaviness in his chest. It doesn’t help.
“I take it back, you’re not a jerk, you’re a fucking idiot” Yoongi says, crossing the room and pulling Hoseok to his feet and into a hug. “You are so fucking dumb Jung Hoseok. I’m not going to fucking punch you, you fuck. God what type of bullshit.”
Hoseok’s legs give way and it’s only that Yoongi is holding him up that he doesn’t fall to the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” he mumbles into Yoongi’s neck. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I was just so. I don’t know. I’m a fucking mess.”
“Yeah, you really are.” Yoongi says not unkindly as he holds on tighter, “I love you, you fucker. Stop being a dumb fuck, okay?”
Hoseok sniffs and tries not to cry all over Yoongi, “I’ll try, hyung.”
“You fucking better or I’ll kill you myself, asshole.” Yoongi says softly as he starts to maneuver them over to the lounge and that’s where Jimin find them a few hours later, sound asleep and curled into each other. Jimin just smiles, takes a few pictures for blackmail and gets started on dinner.
Things for the most part go back to normal. Hoseok’s nightmares all but disappear and when they do occur Yoongi and Jimin are there when he wakes up, calming him down and staying with him until he falls back asleep. His wounds are healing, slower than he’d like but the doctor he sees weekly assures him that he is going to make a full recovery.
They don’t talk about Yoongi’s comment about Hoseok having a crush on Jimin and if Jimin knows, he doesn’t let on either. Namjoon tells Hoseok to bring it up and clear the air, take a chance he might be surprised, but Hoseok is too scared of losing them both that he keeps his mouth shut.
It’s not perfect. There are still a few tender spots that get poked now and then that set off arguments and sometimes when it gets too much, the feelings he has for Yoongi and Jimin on top of the pain that doesn’t seem to be going away and the broken sleep when he has nightmares, Hoseok finds himself lashing out and being a dick. Then there are times when Hoseok is on the lounge at four in the morning counting down the minutes until he can take something to soothe the pain ebbing from the burns on his arms and the pounding ache in his head and Jimin and Yoongi will appear beside him, Yoongi running light fingers through Hoseok’s hair and Jimin holding his hand and it’s enough of a distraction that the tightening in his chest lessens slightly.
Now when they watch a movie, it isn’t Jimin and Yoongi curled around each other with Hoseok sitting along but all three in a cuddle pile. Hoseok doesn’t know what it all means, doesn’t know if they’re just being nice, taking pity on him or if it’s something else altogether.
Everything comes to a head the day after Hoseok had displayed some less than stellar behaviour and had been a total dick to both Yoongi and Jimin. He’d woken feeling off, slightly feverish and his skin itching and burning, back pain turned up to eleven. He’d been snappish and he knew Yoongi and Jimin were just trying to help but every time they asked if he needed anything or tried to touch him Hoseok felt like clawing his skin off. By the middle of the afternoon Yoongi had snapped and dragged Hoseok into his bedroom, pushed him down onto his bed, handed Hoseok some painkillers that Hoseok had been refusing to take for the last two days, glared at him until Hoseok swallowed them and told him to sleep it off.
Hoseok had slept until 10am the following morning and when he finally woke up the house had been empty and a note was on the counter telling Hoseok to take more pain pills, eat the soup on the stove and that Yoongi and Jimin would be back in the afternoon.
It’s the afternoon now and Hoseok is in the lounge room changing the dressings on his arms when Jimin gets home. Jimin calls a hello from the hallway and when Hoseok calls a hello back, Jimin wanders into the living room and drops his bag on an armchair. Hoseok smiles cautiously when Jimin sits on the coffee table facing him. "Need a hand?"
Hoseok wants to say no, pride and the fact that he feels like he probably doesn't deserve Jimin's kindness right now telling him he should but he nods anyway. "Thanks."
Jimin is gentle with Hoseok in a way people generally aren’t. It’s not only just when it comes to helping with his dressings but in general as well. Hoseok feels like most people see his smile and loud personality and tend to overlook the other parts of him that aren’t so out there. Whenever Hoseok would talk to Namjoon about it, Namjoon would spout some fancy words and cite books he had read about the human condition which would be interrupted by a fondly exasperated Seokjin who would say, “He’s calling you an onion, Hoseokie. You have layers.”
Hoseok watches Jimin and bites his lip "Jimin, I-"
"Hyung, don't okay? If you say what I think you're going to say, it's going to make it really hard for me to lecture you about how mean you're being to Yoongi" Jimin says, voice as gentle as his touch but there's an underlying hardness to it.
"I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just--"
"Hurt, stubborn, in love with him? I know." Jimin says, frowning down at one of the blisters before covering it with ointment.
"I'm not, that's not, okay ow that hurt a bit." Hoseok winces. His heart is pounding in his chest, brain trying to think of a way to talk himself out of this. Jimin is being awfully calm for someone accusing someone of being in love with his boyfriend.
“Sorry.” Jimin says, carefully placing a bandage over the burn. “And you don't have a clue Jung Hoseok. You have no idea how important you are to Yoongi even when you’re being a jerk because you can’t deal with your big fat crush on him."
"He doesn't--he has you Jiminie." Hoseok says softly not even bothering to correct him. Jimin makes a noise that clearly implies that he thinks Hoseok is an idiot but he’s too polite to say it. Hoseok gets the message regardless.
"When all of that…unpleasantness happened, Yoongi was terrified when you called, hyung. He completely lost it. He said things, things I won't repeat because they're not for me to say but you are a fool if you think he doesn't love you just as much as you love him."
"But he loves you." Hoseok whispers, heart aching in his chest. "He's in love with you, Jiminie."
"Honestly, how do you grow up with Namjoon hyung and still remain so narrow minded." Jimin huffs reaching for another bandage. "The world isn't black and white, Hoseok. Love isn’t one size fits all. You would know this if you were honest with Yoongi and actually talked to him. If you were honest with me and actually said what you’re feeling for a change.”
Hoseok feels like he’s been caught out. His heart is pounding in his chest and he feels a little bit like he might be sick. "I talk to both of you all the time."
"Not about the important shit, hyung. Not about the things that matter and I know we haven’t been friends for very long but I know how I feel about you and I know how Yoongi feels about you and if what Yoongi says is correct, I know how you feel about me too. Now you need to work out what you want to do about it." Jimin secures the last bandage and reaches out, brushing Hoseok's hair out of his face. "It doesn't have to be this difficult hyung."
Jimin pushes to his feet and gives him a small smile, "Get some rest hyung."
Hoseok lays back down in his nest of blankets and pillows and the stuffed Kumamon that has mysteriously found its way into Hoseok’s bed after his most recent nightmare.
Jimin turns and leans against the door frame, "Yeah?"
"Would it be okay if you stayed with me? Just while I fall asleep?" Hoseok asks not looking at Jimin. He feels like if Jimin is telling the truth that he’s standing on the edge of something life changing and every move could make or break this tiny fragile strand of hope that Jimin has given him.
Jimin smiles and cross the room, lifting the blankets so he can put Hoseok's legs in his lap. "I'll stay as long as you need me."
Hoseok settles against his pillow and closes his eyes, barely restrains himself from asking Jimin to stay forever and falls asleep.
When Hoseok wakes, Jimin is gone and Yoongi had taken his place. Hoseok takes a minute to take in how soft Yoongi looks. He's wearing one of Jungkook's old hoodies, reading glasses on as he scrolls through his phone. It makes Hoseok's heart ache.
"Hey." Yoongi says, noticing Hoseok watching him. "How are you feeling?"
"Shitty." Hoseok says. Yoongi frowns and pushes to his feet. "Let me get you a painkiller."
"No" Hoseok reaches for his hand, wincing when the bandage over his ribs pulls against the skin. "Not that sort of shitty."
Yoongi looks down at where Hoseok is holding his hand and nods "Okay?"
"Can you stay with me? I want to talk." Hoseok asks, tugging lightly at Yoongi's hand. Hoseok thinks for a moment Yoongi might say no but he doesn't, he sits back down beside him.
"I'm sorry." Hoseol blurts out before he can stop himself. "I've been a dick and I'm really sorry."
"Hoseok. It doesn't matter." Yoongi says softly. “It’s been a long few weeks, you’ve been through a lot. Of course you’re going to get pissy sometimes.
Hoseok shakes his head. Yoongi being understanding is making him feel worse. "Don't-- Please be mad at me, hyung. Please."
Yoongi rolls his eyes, "I’m plenty mad at you, Hobi. I’m just trying to not escalate things by biting back is all."
"Of course I am. This whole thing sucks. You’re hurt and lashing out, I’m terrified of losing you, Jimin’s worried about both of us. We’re all pretending that we’re not feeling what we’re feeling even though it’s making everything a million times more difficult than it has to be because you’re being an idiot," Yoongi says with a sigh. Hoseok opens his mouth the protest but Yoongi keeps talking, “But I was an idiot too. I should have-- I should have told you how I felt a long time ago or at the very least when you called when you were being attacked. Even then all I could think was that I’m about to lose the love of my life and he doesn’t even know how I feel. Even then, when you were asking where I was and I could hear--” Yoongi cuts himself off, takes a shaky breath. “I still wasn’t man enough to actually say it to you. I told Jimin, I was a wreck and I told him everything, how I felt about you and him and that now it was too late. Then once you were safe and in one piece I thought maybe we had a chance but then I was scared and hurt and couldn’t bring myself to face you."
"What?" Hoseok says. He can't have heard that right. His brain is still fuzzy from just waking up and trying to process everything Yoongi just said is taking a lot more brain power than he has at the moment. "What did you say?"
"You know what I said." Yoongi says flicking Hoseok gently between the eyes. "And we both probably would have known if we weren’t too busy yelling at each other like morons."
"But. But what about Jimin?" Hoseok says. “How does--I mean. This is a lot.”
"Ah Jiminie" Yoongi smiles soft and happy. "Do you know, Jimin and I spend at least 90% of our time talking about you? Mostly about how dumb you are but also about your ass and those damn abs you hide from us and your stupid fucking smile. Jimin has literally been into you since you smiled at him when he helped you fix Namjoon's table"
"I. What?" Hoseok blinks. There is just way too much happening right now, he’s not sure his heart can take it.
"Remember that night you got trashed with Namjoon? Namjoon had called Seokjin and Seokjin had called us and we came and picked you up. You were so out of it but Jiminie sat with you all night making sure you didn't die." Yoongi hums, "He's a good person and he has a lot of love to give. Reminds me a bit of you actually."
Hoseok rests his head back against the lounge, “Why would he even do that? I’ve been a total asshole.”
“Jimin is in love with you. I’m in love with you and, if the two little birdies who eat all of our food and don’t clean up after themselves are to be believed, you’re in love with us too.” Yoongi says.
Hoseok huffs, “Fucking Jungkookie, I knew he was eavesdropping when I stayed at Namjoon’s place. You know he’s staying there every night right? Little shit isn’t as stealthy as he thinks.”
"Seokie, focus. Jungkook is innocent and pure and I don’t need to know anything else." Yoongi grins and gently pulls him closer. “I’m taking it that they’re not wrong though?”
“They might not be completely incorrect.” Hoseok says quietly. "Jimin said something earlier about things not being black and white. What did he mean?"
Yoongi runs his fingers through Hoseok’s hair "Jiminie has this idea that we could all be together. The three of us."
“Is that even possible? How does that work?” Hoseok says, sinking into Yoongi’s side. He feels calmer than he probably should but he knows that’s got an awful lot to do with the fact that Yoongi’s fingers are like magic when it come to hair pets. Hoseok can’t be anything but calm and pliant even when talking about getting into a potential polyamorous relationship with his best friend and his boyfriend.
“That’s for us to work out together. We’ll sit down and talk about it like mature adults when Jimin gets home if you want.” Yoongi says.
“I--yeah. I want that.” Hoseok says. He’s struggling to keep his eyes open now so he’s kind of glad Jimin isn’t home yet.
“It’ll be wild.” Yoongi presses a soft kiss to Hoseok’s hair and shifts them so that they’re both stretched out, Hoseok partially on top of Yoongi. “But rest first okay?”
"Okay." Hoseok mumbles into Yoongi’s chest, inhaling the scent of pine and vanilla and the candle Yoongi always buys in bulk and burns non stop and letting the comforting beat of Yoongi’s heart under his ear lull him back to sleep.
They don’t end up talking until the following morning because Hoseok ends up sleeping the entire night through. When he wakes up Yoongi and Jimin are talking quietly in the kitchen and Hoseok feels bad for interrupting them until Jimin tugs him into a chair and pours him a glass of juice to have with the bacon and waffles he had put aside for him.
They talk for hours, putting all of their cards out on the table. It’s probably the most honest Hoseok has ever been with both himself and anyone who isn’t Namjoon and he finds that he feels good once he gets everything off his chest. He feels validated when Jimin and Yoongi listen and take in what he says and he does the same for them, listening to their feelings and worries and by the time the midday sun is high in the sky, they’ve reached the conclusion that they’re going to do it. They’re going to be together, boyfriends all three of them and for the first time since Jungkook had moved out and Jimin had arrived on the scene and maybe if Hoseok really looks back, the first time since he met Yoongi, Hoseok feels happy. Genuinely happy.
They end up in the main bedroom that night and all three agree that it’s too soon to do anything more than cuddle and exchange first kisses but it’s enough for now. Hoseok is still healing and the walk upstairs was enough to wind him so he doubts he’s ready for some athletic sex with his two boyfriends. Kissing though, kissing he can handle.
Kissing Jimin and Yoongi is like the feeling Hoseok gets when he would walk through the front door after a long stretch away for work. It’s coming home, a warm blanket on a freezing cold day, a cool drink when the sun is blazing in the sky. It’s everything Hoseok never knew he needed and more than he ever thought it would be and then when he watches Yoongi and Jimin kiss each other, it’s not like the other times. There’s no flare of jealousy or anger, just a soft burn of seeing the two people he loves, loving each other and him in equal measure. His heart is a storm and Jimin and Yoongi are the calming eye.
Three Months Later
“Is everyone ready?” Hoseok calls, looking over his shoulder. Jimin and Taehyung give him the thumbs up, Jimin’s accompanied by a wink that has Hoseok ducking his head. Namjoon sends him an exasperated look while Seokjin fusses with his and Jungkook’s harnesses and Hoseok can’t help but glance at Yoongi with a smug look when Seokjin presses a quick kiss to both Namjoon and Jungkook’s lips.
Yoongi mimes throwing up and calls out, “Yo hyung, when you’re finished with the PDA can you strap in so we can go?”
Seokjin flips him off and drops into his seat, strapping himself in and Yoongi turns back to Hoseok, “Ready babe?”
Hoseok runs his hand over the navigation panel of his brand new ship, Hope II and nods. “Let’s do it.”
Yoongi reaches across and squeezes his free hand and then Hoseok hits the throttle and launches them all into space.