“Blue,” I said when he asked what my dress looked like.
“Blue? That’s all I get?”
“You said you wanted to be stunned, so yes, that’s all you get. If your jaw doesn’t hit the ground, you’re not getting sex tonight.”
“That’s a lot of pressure, Sophie.” I could hear him smiling on the other end.
“Meh. I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’ve gone a night without sex before...”
I heard a faint growl deep in his chest before he said, “Oh my love, you know that you could show up naked and my jaw would be on the ground... In fact, why don’t you just do that?”
I laughed. “Don’t you want to see what your hard earned money paid for? You did give me your credit card specifically for this purpose didn’t you?”
“I suppose I have little choice at this point.”
“Nope. I’m already buttoned up.”
“Shit. I meant not to tell you that.”
“So there’s that many more steps until I get you naked?”
“If number of buttons equals number of steps, then you have a lot of steps, yes. They add to the whole effect, I promise.”
“God, I can’t wait to see you.”
“I can’t wait for you to see me either,” I joked. I heard him chuckle. “I can’t wait to see you in your suit. You’re, like, a billion percent sexier when you wear a designer suit. Just sayin’.”
“Well you’re in for a treat... Must go. See you soon, love.”
“Love you baby!”
I was finally settling into my life in London and my life as Tom Hiddleston’s girlfriend. I worked in an adorable boutique off the beaten track near Covent Garden where most tourists didn’t venture, so life during the day was quiet. It was when Tom and I were out to dinner or the movies or just taking a walk that we had any trouble. But he always treated me with the utmost respect and so did his fans--to my face anyway.
I had no idea when he said a “car” was picking us up he meant “limo.” My coworker, Anna and I climbed in and helped ourselves to a few pieces of chocolate on our way to the premiere. As we got closer, my nerves showed their ugly face. I texted Tom when we were almost there and he said he was waiting for us.
He was speaking with someone when we arrived. The driver helped me out and I saw him stop talking mid-sentence when he looked my way. He excused himself quickly and walked over to me, definitely stunned. His eyes sparkled like the ocean on a cloudless night and he had a dazed look on his gorgeous face.
Without saying anything or a thought to the cameras flashing everywhere, he grabbed me, one hand on my waist and the other on my neck, and pulled me into a chaste yet passionate kiss. He tasted like the mints he always ate, smelled like heaven and looked like a god. “Oh, my darling girl. I’ve lost all my words.”
That kiss was enough to make my fears zoom away for the moment and I just looked into his eyes. Here he was, my love, my home, where nothing bad could ever happen. “You look so handsome, honey.”
He pulled me into another kiss, shorter, less urgent, but still just as passionate. I felt a slight vibration in my lips and knew he was moaning, even though I couldn’t hear it over the sound of the screaming crowds.
A bright flash right in my face broke the spell and I remembered where I was. Tom eyes twinkled as he smiled. “You ready?” I smiled in response.
Cameras flashed, people screamed, I got tugged this way and that. It was all a big blur. Tom and I decided the opening night of Ben’s new play would be a good first official outing as a couple. But after that first intimate moment we shared, it was like I was second to everyone else.
Anna and I stayed together, until I would get pulled to Tom every time anyone asked for a photo with both of us, but then he’d wander away and leave me to my own devices again. I hope my frustration and hurt didn’t show on my face in any of the photos. I knew it was a big night for him, as a public event, and as Ben’s good friend, but I hated feeling like I didn’t matter. Memories of the time I broke up with him came swirling back.
He came back to me when it was time for us to take our seats and he kept a hand on me throughout the performance, but he rarely talked to me. During the intermission he left for a drink and didn’t come back until it was time to start again. It took all my energy not to let any tears shed.
Then came the after party...
Tom held my waist until we walked in, then it was away to other friends, members of the press, and fellow actors. Anna could tell I was having a rough time of it, so she dragged me to the bar.
“I know what’s happening. You need a drink. Something strong.” She turned to the bartender. “Whiskey. Make it two.”
I took mine without a thought and downed it in seconds. Ben saw and came over to us. I was actually attempting to set Anna and Ben up, but all thoughts of that had gone out of my mind at this point; I was more concerned with my boyfriend ditching me on the night of our first official date as a couple.
Ben placed his hand on my shoulder and pulled me towards him a little. “What’s going on? I haven’t known you long, but I know you well enough to see that something’s up. Tell me.”
The alcohol kicked in quick! “Why don’t you go find my boyfriend and see if he can tell that there’s a problem...” I shouldn’t have said anything. I shouldn’t have involved Ben, and I regretted it as soon as it came out.
But Ben nodded understandingly. We looked around for Tom. He found him before I did and his eyes widened slightly before his face turned a light shade of pink. I noticed this and turned to see where he was looking...
And there Tom was, with some tall, stick thin, gorgeous model with legs as long as his that ended in sexy black stilettos. Her blonde hair laid down around her shoulders and curled slightly. I looked just in time to see him throw his head back in laughter, like he did with me, before placing his hand on her waist and whispering something into her ear with a smile.
I quickly turned back to the bar. “Gimme another!” As soon as I got it, it was gone and I quickly made my way to the door.
Ben tried to stop me. I heard him say, “Wait, Sophie, maybe there’s an explanation!” faintly before I was out the door.
I hailed a cab and jumped in with Anna right behind me. It wasn’t until the door closed that I let the tears fall. I kept it together enough not to embarrass myself, but it was tough. Anna just held my hand while I sniffled my way back to my flat. She was my closest friend in London and she knew me well enough not to say anything and just let me be.
I jumped out of the cab when it stopped at my flat and practically ran up to my door. Anna followed until I got to the door where she turned me around and hugged me tight. “You have every right to be upset, but wait to hear his explanation before you dismiss him. He would never intentionally do something to hurt you, Sophie. Just don’t jump to any conclusions. Are you going to be okay?”
I nodded. “Thank you. I’m sorry about the whole Ben thing. I promise that we’ll get that going soon. I just got distracted tonight...”
“I know. It’s alright, I promise. Get some sleep.”
As soon as the door closed and I was safely in my flat, I let the loud gross sobbing start. It wasn’t like Tom to just leave me out like that, especially since, in his words, I “had nearly broken his heart” when I left him a mere month earlier. It also wasn’t like him to touch women that weren’t me in such an intimate way. I knew he wasn’t cheating on me, I knew that--but I couldn’t help but think there was something happening and it was the not-knowing that made me more upset than anything.
I wandered into my bedroom and collapsed onto my bed without changing or even bothering to turn the lights off. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I was hearing a loud banging noise from the door.
“Sophie, are you there? Sophie?! Answer the door! I can see that your light is on. Are you there?”
I stumbled to the front door and unlocked it slowly. I opened it and looked up at him sadly before he rushed in and grabbed my face. “Baby are you alright? I didn’t know where you went? You scared the shit out of me, why did you leave?”
When I didn’t respond, his eyes turned gray. “You saw me talking to her.” It wasn’t a question. I turned away and started to walk back to my bedroom.
“Sweetheart, please let me explain. You know me. I’m not cheating on you--I would never! I was going to introduce you to her, but then Ben said you left in a hurry. She’s an old friend from RADA. I never had anything to do with her in that way, she’s not my type. You’re my type! Sexy brown hair, curves. And, she’s a lesbian...”
At this, I turned. “She is? She doesn’t look like one.”
“No she doesn’t, but she is. She had a thing with another girl in my class. It was the scandal of the semester.”
I thought for a second. “Well that still doesn’t excuse your behavior for the rest of the evening.”
“What do you mean?”
“Tom, are you kidding? You totally ignored me! I was only with you when you needed me; this picture, that picture, this interview, that interview. Then you’d be gone again.”
“Sweetheart, I had to--”
“No. Don’t give me that. You said you wanted this to be our first time out as a couple, but it didn’t feel like you were my boyfriend unless it looked good on camera.”
“How could you do that to me? It’s so unlike you... And that’s why I’m so upset! I could have more easily forgiven you if it had been your own opening, but it wasn’t! You’re not even involved in the production. You were just invited.”
Tom looked defeated. He slumped back against the wall and looked at the ground. “Darling, I’m sorry. I guess I’m just so used to being at those kinds of events by myself that I didn’t realize what I was doing. You’re right. I’m so sorry, I should have been more attentive...” When I didn’t respond, he added, “You look stunning tonight, love.”
I pushed myself off the opposite wall that I had slumped against and walked into my bedroom, unsure whether I could forgive him yet. But before I could think he had grabbed my waist and his lips were on the back of my neck. “I wonder how long it will take me to get this dress off of you...” he whispered against my skin.
With all reserves lost in his touch and the feel of body against mine, I melted and caved. “Your time starts now,” I whispered with a smile.
I heard him chuckle as his hands moved to the back of my dress. As he undid each tiny button, he kissed that piece of exposed skin and whispered sweet nothings like the voice of an angel on the wind.
As soon as the navy blue gown was gathered on the floor around my ankles, his hands groped their way to my breasts while he licked and bit the entirety of my neck. “You taste so delicious, Soph. I love the way your skin feels against my tongue.”
All I could muster was a moan that came from deep in my chest. His hands felt me up before he turned me around and covered my mouth with his. My tongue instantly searched for his and his searched for mine. He bent down and put his hands under my bum and lifted me up to straddle his hips and he carried me to my bed.
“Scoot back, love.” His eyes raked down my body as he took in the sight of the new lingerie I bought specifically for this occasion. “You’re killing me with that,” he said matter-of-factly.
I giggled. “Get that sexy suit off, Tom,” I commanded. He obliged, never breaking eye contact. When he was down to his skin, he crawled up the bed and came to rest in between my legs and went to work on getting my corset off. He pulled at the ribbon that strung it together and unlaced it, letting his tongue roam freely as my skin became more and more exposed, as he had done with my dress.
I couldn’t speak, I was at a loss for words. It all felt so good, after being so angry and hurt from being in pure ecstasy, my brain couldn’t make sense of the situation. All I did was repeat his name over and over, moaning and gasping in between short breaths.
Before I had time to register it, I had orgasmed once by his fingers and tongue and was on my way to a second when he slid into me and made passionate love to me, gifting me with kisses on my jaw, neck, ears, chest, shoulders and lips. Total and absolute euphoria...
I woke up wrapped in his arms and smiled. I was the luckiest girl in the galaxy. I snuck out of his grasp as gently and quietly as I could, throwing on his tux shirt from the night before and walking to the kitchen. I started a pot of coffee and looked around to see what I had to make for breakfast. I found eggs, bacon and pancake mix--Tom’s favorite.
I started up some Kate Nash on my iPhone, dancing around and singing as best I could that early in the morning. While I stood at the stove, I felt his hands on my hips, inching slowly upwards and under his shirt. He kissed the weak spot on my jaw before saying, “My shirt looks better on you, my love.” I leaned back against him and closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of his strong body holding me up.
“Don’t get any ideas about trying on my dress... There’d barely be enough room for your giant ‘little you’ in there, let alone the rest of your sexy body.”
I felt his belly laugh rumble against my back and into my soul. My Tom was all mine and he had made sure I knew it. “I’m so in love with you, my dear Sophie.”