“Is that your plan then? To turn the people of this world into cats and dogs and hamsters so they’ll be out of the way and you can just swan in and take over?” The Doctor glared at the vidlink screen from the behind the bars of his cage. “Because, just so you are aware, that plan is really bad. I mean, I’ve seen some terrible take-over-the-world plans in my time, but yours gets top marks for being the most ridiculous.”
“That may be,” hissed the green and yellow splotched entity on the other end of the vidlink, “but this plan is so far succeeding. 37% of the human lifeforms in this settlement have already been placed in their new, sub-servient bodies.”
“I would hardly call 37% of Leadworth a successful invasion,” the Doctor said. “Never mind the fact that you expect cats, cats, to be your servants. I’m not discounting their value as a pet – the purring is great for the blood pressure, I’ve heard – but if you’re looking for someone to obey your commands, I think you’re going to be disappointed.”
“You are trapped and blustering,” the alien hissed.
The Doctor nodded slowly. “That may seem like an accurate summation of the situation, but you know who isn’t trapped or blustering? My marvelous companion, Rory." The Doctor bent over, slapping his knees. "Who’s a good boy?”
Rory, in the form of an elegant Irish Settler, rolled his eyes pointedly before dropping the Doctor’s sonic screwdriver in front of the cage. The Doctor reached through, grabbed it, and aimed it at the vidlink, shutting off the alien’s obnoxious tirade in mid-sentence. Then he started working on the lock. Rory whined in discomfort.
“I apologize,” the Doctor said. “The sonic frequencies are set to be generally unobtrusive for humans. I could set it for canines, but that would take time.”
“Which we don’t have, I agree.”
The lock clicked open. The Doctor stepped out. Rory barked again.
“Yes, you want to find Amy, and there are five robots outside waiting to unleash death rays. Really, five? That just seems like a bit of overkill.”
Rory barked twice before grasping the hem of the Doctor’s trousers between his teeth and giving it a gentle tug.
“I am not wasting time. I am formulating a plan.”
Rory cocked his head to the side.
“And while a dog is a Time Lord’s best friend, this plan is going to require opposable thumbs. Cover your ears!” The Doctor shouted, aiming the sonic screwdriver. Rory crouched down with his paws over his head. The sonic buzzed for a moment. The room filled with rich, green light, blocking out everything else, before fading away and revealing…
“Doctor, please turn around.”
“Rory, good to see you.”
“Or, I could turn around.”
“You aren’t wearing any clothes.”
“No, I am not. Doctor, I never thought I would say this, but is there any possibility, any at all, that you could turn me back into a dog until such time as we have located both my wife and my trousers?”