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As Fate Will Have It

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I walk up the steps, my footsteps soft against the carpet. It was two in the morning and I didn't care if I woke anyone up. Their room number said 304, so I felt relieved as I passed 299 and got ever closer.

I stare at the number before me. 304, in all its glory. I knock on the maroon surface, relishing in the loud noise. That should wake him up.

It seemed to, since Viktor cracked his door to peer at me.

"Hello, Vitya." I greet. I wasn't a heartless bastard without manners, now.

"Oh, hello Yuri. What are you doing here?" Viktor looks over his shoulder at Yuuri's sleeping form before turning back to me. He steps away from the door. "Want to come in?"

"It got a little messy at my house." I look at Yuuri before stepping inside. "Hopefully I didn't wake you up."

"It's fine, I wasn't really sleeping to begin with. With our place on the market, being in a hotel is a must, but... well, it's not exactly too comfortable in here." He closes the door quietly.

I take off my shoes, looking around the room. "It doesn't look very comfortable. At least the piggy can sleep."

"Yes, and it's partly his fault that I can't sleep too. His body warmth is too damn much, plus he likes to have the heater on."

"He must be one of those... Warm natured people. You could turn the heater off and I could make sure he doesn't bitch too much in the morning."

"I don't know, crossing him when we weren't engaged was one thing..." Viktor trails off with a shrug.

"Are you worried that he'll break off your marriage if you turn the temperature down?" I scoff. The oh-so-great Viktor Nikiforov, in the flesh.

"No, I just love him and don't want him getting ill in the morning. The cold makes his nose stuffy and his throat hurt."

"You don't have to make it cold, just comfortable. Unless you like sleeping in Antarctica."

"We're Russian." Viktor smirks at this. "I'm pretty sure you can take as much cold as I can. Right now I'm in the seventh level of hell."

"I guess you have a point there." I roll my eyes. No shit, Viktor. "I know, I can feel it. I may be breaking a sweat."

"Want to go for a walk?"

"Yes, I do. He won't wake up if you're not here?" I glance back at Yuuri. 

"I don't really think it matters? I'm in a relationship with him, not an indentured servant." I didn't miss the sass in his statement. Then again, he was one of the sassiest people I knew. I cock an eyebrow. 

"You aren't? This is news to me."

"Shut up, fairy." He huffs. I grin.

"Looks like your sleep deprivation is getting to you."

Viktor ignores me, pulling on a shirt and some sweater. He looks like he's about to pass out from heat stroke when he finishes getting dressed.

"Come on."

I pull on my shoes before following him.

"How have things been?" Viktor asks. It sounded like an abrupt question and I didn't know what he was referring to. 

"Things could be better. What about you? How are things?" 

"I'm fairly happy, but everything is pretty surreal."

I knew that feeling all too well.

"Why do you say that? Is it because of your lack of sleep?"

"Maybe, but then there's also the matter of me actually having someone in my life that is supposed to matter to me as much as myself. All I'm saying is, relationships are insane."

I give him a sideways glance. An, 'I told you so.' of sorts. "That's what I've been saying since you left. So, supposed to. Are you implying that he doesn't meet the standard you give yourself?"

"No one can meet the standard I give myself. Yuuri comes pretty close."

"Look at you, still a narcissist. But he'll never come close enough."

"What do you mean to say with that?" Viktor pauses. "Not the narcissist thing. That I know." 

"The piggy doesn't mean as much to you as I thought he did."

"Well, how much did you think he meant to me?" He actually laughs a little. "Relationships aren't supposed to make people love themselves any less, they're supposed to be about finding someone you would feel nice destroying the world with." Another pause. Viktor and his damn pauses drove me up the wall. "Just, who would you rather have with you as the last human being in existence, I guess." 

"I thought you put him above you." I answer his previous question with a grin. "That sounds more up my alley. I think I could destroy the world with maybe one person."

"No, putting a significant other above oneself is how people end up murdering someone or in therapy."

Well, a relationship certainly wasn't what got me here. 

I didn't know quite what did. 

I laugh at this. "You aren't hinting at anything, are you, Viktor?"

"No, I'm just failing at making proverbs as always. Maybe I'll have a religion built up around me someday so I might as well get to making shit for my followers to say." Viktor is the one who gives me a sideways glance this time. "Why, are you misinterpreting something?"

"Right. You fail a lot. I don't think you're worthy of having a religion built around you." I scowl. "How can I not when you use 'murder' and 'therapy' in the same sentence?"

"Oh sure, you'd probably appoint yourself as the high priest of Me." Yeah, right. In his narcissistic little dreams. "And... I mean, you could be a normal person and see that they are just ways of being overly dramatic about something?"

"I'd rather not instruct people to get on their knees for you every day. And it's your own fault for being overly dramatic around me. Do I need to play Bring Me to Life every time you speak?" 

"Aw, but I'd pay you to." Viktor frowns. "What is that?" 

"It's some dramatic song Georgi liked. How much would you pay me?" 

"Wait, for what? I don't think it was really clear." I curse Viktor's stupidity daily. I'm sure Yuuri does too. 

"To be a priest for your stupid church if you ever make it." 

"Oh, okay. Then, maybe like 13 per hour."

"That works for me."

We finally reach the end of the labyrinth of the hotel. Viktor opens the door for me and I sigh and thank him as the brisk air washes over my body. 

"Yeah, no problem. See, even when you're being a little shit I'm a gentleman." Viktor teases as we step outside. 

"You are only being a gentleman to keep up your reputation. Don't want people thinking you're a piece of shit." 

"True." He grins, shaking his head. "So, where do you want to walk to? Just around?"

"Da, we can just walk around. And you can tell me all about your shitty life."

This makes him chuckle. "My life isn't shitty. You wish you had my life."

"Your life is boring. I like my own, thank you."

"Right and that's why you're walking with me, at night, after travelling to the hotel were I was staying. Face it Plisetsky."

"Like I said, my house is a mess. And who else would I bother in the middle of the night, Nikiforov? I love ruining your beauty sleep."

"No, my fiance already does that, thank you very much." He suddenly gasps. "I'm going to start to wrinkle before even hitting thirty!"

"Obviously. Since you both have shitty communication skills, you'll probably have wrinkles by next year."

"I would bitch at you for ripping on my relationship, but it's my fault for telling you about it in the first place."

"Oh no, I'm so scared of being bitched out by Viktor Nikiforov. I'm shaking." I let out a puff of air, watching the mist fade into the night sky. "It's obvious anyway."

"Alright. In that case, tell me more things that are obvious about my life."

"You'll probably have dementia by 35 and have questionable decision making skills."

"And how do you figure that?"

"You forget everything. And you ran off to Japan after a Japanese drunk man humped your leg."

Viktor frowns, staying silent for about a minute. A world record. "He was chubby and pretty."

"So you were like, 'wow looks hot I wanna smash' and ran away. That's questionable."

"But hey, I managed to get what I went for."

"Ugh. Good for you."

"Why are you so salty about my relationship in any case?"

"Did you just describe me as salty?" 

"You are the definition of salt."

"I am not NaCl."

"Maybe you're a different ionization, so what?"

"Whatever. I am not 'salty.'"

"Right. Then how would you describe what you are towards my relationship with Yuuri?" 

"Annoyed. Because you never shut up about him."

"Hm..." Viktor touches his finger to his chin. "Alright, then I'll stop."

"No you won't."

"I will. You watch me."

"Fine. What else do you have to talk about?"

Well, what have you been doing since you last saw me?"

"I finally landed that jump I've been working on today, I murdered Georgi, and Yakov has been talking with Lilia about my new program." I start, looking up at the sky. Viktor is oddly silent, looking forward, so I continue. "Oh, and I got new skates. Those are my highlights of the week." 


"You're not joking, are you?" Viktor asks quietly. "I know you enough to realize you're not." 

"Why would I joke about that? You asked what I've been doing lately." I felt annoyed that he didn't ask about my skates. He was a slut for pretty skates, and mine were a light blue. He'd love them for sure. 

"Hmm... well, what brought the second thing about?" Viktor looks at me again. 

"Oh, Georgi?" I snort. "He was playing that emo music really loud. Beating him with his own speaker went a little too far."

"...Did he play My Chemical Romance at all?" He asks. 

"...Yes, he did-"

"Then it was perfectly justified and I will help you hide it should anything happen."

"Thank you, Viktor. I really appreciate that."

"No one should be subjected to that."

"That's what I said! Mila disagreed."

"What happened then?"

"She left before I could do anything. Though there might be an... 'Accident' in the rink tomorrow." 

"Eh, necessary casualty. And you're sure she won't tell?"

"I'm not totally sure, but I can handle it if she does." I yawn. 

Viktor smiles at me. "Alright." 

I smile back. "Do you want to see my skates sometime?"

"Sure, kitten."

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, my head's not on right at the moment. I haven't slept in three days." Viktor rubs his eyes, as if to emphasize. 

"Ah, right. Since Piggy won't lower the heat." I tsk. 


"I didn't bring him up, in my defense." I notice now that his deep blue eyes are bloodshot. Maybe I should pay more attention to small details. It'll help me in the future for sure. 

"Well, I'm just saying, you could suffocate him with a pillow and turn the temperature down." 

"...No. I actually love him and I doubt I can find an ass like that anywhere else. I'll live." 

"You know, I think you can find an ass like that if you really tried, but suit yourself." I shrug.

"Have you been inside it, per chance?" Viktor doesn't give me a chance to voice my disgust. "No. So you don't know and don't come at me with that crap."

"You could find any tight ass and it would at least be similar." I point out. Does this man even know human anatomy? He is getting rather old...

"No..." Viktor sighs. "Maybe I should just buy him a heavier blanket and turn down the heat."

"If you say so. I can't believe you didn't think of that before."

"Shhhh, sleep deprivation."

"You can't use that excuse right now."

"And why not?"

"Because you thought of it while sleep deprived."

Viktor covers my mouth with his hand. I poke my tongue out, licking it. He rolls his eyes. I choose to bite it then, which makes Viktor look at me with the slightest change of expression. I couldn't place it. So, I bite his hand again, harder this time. 

"Can you teach that to Yuuri?" Viktor finally pulls his hand back. "His bites don't have the right... Feel." 

I wipe my mouth. "Ugh. What do you want me to do, randomly bite him?"

"Yes, then I'll tell him to try to do it on me."

"Maybe he just doesn't have sharp teeth." 

"Yes well, I can pay a dentist." Viktor trails off for the hundredth time this night. "Unless you happen to have a small set of power tools." 

"Sometimes I question your mental stability." It's sad when I have to say that. "I doubt he'll want to change his teeth for you." 

"I removed my ring the other day so I could look at it and he almost threw up." He pauses as I raise my eyebrow, continuing thoughtfully. "I have a lot of power over him. Much too much, in fact." I blamed his poor grammar for his sleep deprivation. 

"He almost threw up because you took off your ring? That doesn't surprise me. He's a pig."

"Hm, well you're an ass and constantly spew shit, so, yeah it makes sense."

"I don't see what I have to do with your shitty ring."

"It's just that I don't appreciate you speaking about him like that. He shrugs. "And it's not a shitty ring. It's just that he's so afraid to lose me that I can use it to control him. Granted that's not at all healthy."

"Well, a pig is what he is, and I will point it out. Yes it is." I decide to insult the ring again, even if he had shaken in rage about it four years ago. It wasn't even the same damn ring. It was their wedding ring this time. "Do you really care if it's healthy or not if it gets you what you want?"

"To an extent I do and to an extent I don't. Why are you so venomous in any case?" Didn't he ask me something like this before?

Right, sleep deprivation. 

"I think you should use it to your advantage. It's just who I am."

"And I don't have an issue with who you are as long as it doesn't hurt my husband." Viktor sighs again. I heard that sighing a lot helped when you were tired. Something about getting more oxygen to the brain like yawning does. "I must admit, I have used it to my advantage a few times already."

Viktor, Viktor. Always the man who would kiss and tell. 

"And biting him isn't hurting him?" I smirk. "Of course you have. It could turn into a bad habit." I warn. 

"Biting him is something that will serve a greater good."

"Something you think is a greater good."

"Yes, getting me off is a greater good. It's in the book of the greatest goods of the universe. Right after Jesus Christ being martyred, of course."

"I don't think that book exists. And getting you off is only giving you reason to keep doing bad things. You're like a dog and should be treated and punished like one."

"It does. You just can't read it because you're not me." He ignored my dog statement. Yuri: 1. Viktor: 0. 

"I would not want to read that bullshit."

Viktor starts laughing. I take a cautious step away from him. 

"What is so funny?"

"Our friendship, if it can even be called that."

"Our friendship is great, not funny."

"Aww." He slings an arm around my waist. "I guess I am obliged to agree."

I can actually feel the scowl on my face. "You better agree. Am I allowed to hurt Katsudon other than biting him?" 

Viktor makes a noise that I can't place. It sounded like a cross between a moan and a whine. "It depends, honestly." 

I look at him then, smiling. "In what other ways?" 

"Well, that also depends. What can you offer me in exchange of that?"

"I don't know what you need, Viktor."

"Hm... I don't exactly know what you have to offer." He gives me a once over. I don't know whether to feel flattered or offended by that. 

"Well, I can kill people. Hm... You don't need drugs, but Germany has erotic chocolates you could give to him."

"What do you mean, erotic chocolates?"

"They're laced with aphrodisiac."

"You have to eat one first. Now that I know you kill people."

"I don't want to deal with being horny. I already told you I killed Georgi."

"Ah ah! I never said you had to be." Viktor tuts. "I just don't want you poisoning him." 

That sounded like a lie, but okay. 

"Whatever. Deal. Now, how can I hurt him?" 

"Why don't we discuss that in the morning? You can stay at the hotel tonight." 

"Isn't it hotter than Hell?" 

"Well, yes, but two bodies can keep Yuuri warmer than one." 

"I am not cuddling with your pig." 

"Yuri, you can't just hurt him." 

"That's what I want to do." 

"All in due time, kitten. Cuddling comes first. And after." Viktor taps my nose. 

"Again, whatever." 

"So. You'll bring the chocolates, right?" 

"Da. Is your memory that bad already?" 

"No, just making sure. We should head inside."

"Viktor, I actually came here to ask something." I shove my hands into my pockets. Crossing them didn't keep them warm enough. 


"If I fuck up with a body, will you help me clean it up?" 

"Of course, Yuri. Remember that you'll owe me, though." 

"How could I forget?" I pause. "Thank you." 

"Looks like I'm not the only sleep deprived one here." Viktor pokes my cheek. "You're using manners!" 

"Go fuck yourself!" I snap as we make our way back to the hotel.