My Dear fellow
You have a dammed nerve, trying my patience with undisclosed facts of this matter.
One can only assume that you were harbouring ulterior motives when you wrote asking me to join you, which for arguments sake, turn out to be so far removed from the original version, told upon my arrival.
Have I discovered the underlying truth? Buried in this squalid hovel you refer to as home, hardly my idea of a haven.
Nevertheless, with my suspicions already aroused, was I led to believe, that, which I should not ever, have thought possible of you? Inducing such outrageous apprehensions, leaving myself in no doubt, that you had developed romantic designs on my person.
Finding myself, initially shocked, upon first contemplating this prospect, retrospect forced me to reconsider, what my mind, would once have deemed repugnant, yet now, thinking quite rationally, actually considering furthering my attachment to you, in the nature of this way.
I am somewhat bemused, if not too embarrassed to admit, that the new found depth of yearning, I now feel towards you, whilst taking me by surprise, that acting upon it, becomes a sound prospect.
With all that said, I an a little fear-full of what I am about to say to you next, upon my return, please show me in no uncertain terms, exactly what I have been missing.
As always, your Dear friend.