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Eventually You'll See My Ascendency

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Alexander remembered when he first arrived to New York. He was just 16 at the time, a victim from the hurricane that destroyed St. Croix. Sure, over the 5 years, he made friends. He managed to get away with telling them only a few facts.


He told them of the hurricane, he told them he was orphaned, and he told them he was an immigrant. That’s all he ever revealed about his past. So, he really wasn’t surprised when he caught Thomas and James trying to find out his past through the internet. Though, he was pissed about it.


“Damn, you’d think that with that giant ego, Hamilton would have some of his writing from the past posted on the internet….” Alex glanced up, eyes wide as he recognised Jefferson’s voice. The young immigrant turned his attention towards the computer section of the College’s library, taking in the sight of Thomas and James Madison, both of them crowded around a PC.


James sat there, nodding and blowing his nose into a tissue. Sick again, huh…? Alexander thought, wincing at the sound of the coughs flowing from the other student. Thomas huffed, shaking his head as he started to type once again, eyes focused on the screen. At the sight of Jefferson typing, the immigrant immediately felt a surge of anger, causing him to act.


“Writing from the past, huh?” He practically snarled out, stepping out from behind the bookshelf, causing the other two men to jump, their gazes turning upon him. He felt a twinge of pride in the guilt in their eyes, but regret held a bigger pang, since the guilt was fogged by fear. He dropped the stack of books on the desk, ignoring the other two for a moment to stare at the screen. The web browser had multiple tabs opened, most of them sharing a similar title. What really drew his gaze was the tab that was opened right now, the search bar full of a sentence that was never finished since he spooked Jefferson.


“Alexander Hamilton’s written works from the West Indies….” Alex read aloud, dark brown eyes narrowing as he turned to the guilt assholes beside him.


James visibly flinched, his gaze turning away. Thomas just took a deep breath, calming down before beginning to speak, “What did you expect, Hamilton? You barely told us anything about what you did in Nevis when you came to America. You know most of everyone’s past, but no one knows about yours.”


Alex glared, venom leaking into his voice, “Perhaps I do not wish for anyone to know of my past, Jefferson. It was not my fault everyone decided to go into detail when giving their backstories, you and the others chose to explain. Besides, it’s none of your fucking business. I thought we even agreed to that when we hated each other!” He snapped, shutting the computer off by pressing the button, picking up the pile of books.


The two men stared as he turned, the ponytail he had in lashing as he stormed off. Yet, as Alexander felt their stares falling away, tears pricked at his eyes. It hurt to know that the enemies-turned-friends of his were ready to dig into the past behind his back. He really never told anyone because of the pity it usually brings. Or even the hatred. Fear was what kept Alex from revealing more. Fear of rejection, fear of pity, fear of abuse. Fear of abandonment.


His throat was closing up, anxiety taking over as he grasped the pile of books tighter. He moved swiftly, heading to his dorm, needing to reach his medication cabinet. Alexander kicked open the door, dropping the books onto the bed and hurrying to the bathroom joined to it. Shaking hands lurched forward, opening the small cabinet, pulling out orange bottles of medication. Now, Alexander isn't addicted, never has been. But without the medication, he couldn't function properly throughout the whole day.


He tore the lid off of a bottle, dry swallowing two small white pills, taking deep breaths. The immigrant stared into the mirror, calming down slowly but surely, taking in his image. The bag under his eyes seem to have grown, the ponytail he had put up earlier full of knots and tangles, grease shining off of it in the bright light of the bathroom. 5 o'clock shadow was around his mouth, causing the man to look like a sleepless zombie. It really made Alexander wonder how he managed to get three boyfriends.




John sighed, watching as Hercules and Lafayette goofed off down the aisle. The three of them had gone out to the discount store a few blocks away from Columbia, in search of the oversized hoodies Alex loved to wear. They usually were used before, but Alex just smiled whenever John or the others brought them back to his dorm. Guess that's just how Alex works… He thought, pulling through a rack of clothing. John grabbed a dark green hoodie, the coloring slightly faded. He smiled, aware of the feeling of the cloth, checking the size. Well, whoever wore this was huge. Definitely bigger than Alex.


“Mon amour Laurens, come over here and look what we found!”


The sound of the french accent snapped John from his thoughts, turning and heading over towards Lafayette, who was standing next to Hercules, the fashion major crouching besides a large cardboard box.


“Well? What is it, Herc?” He said, crouching down besides his boyfriend and blinking. On the box side, the word Nevis was written in sharpie, inside was VHS tapes. A few other objects were mixed in, but what stood out was the stack of newspapers on the top of the pile. John reached forward, grabbing one of the copies and reading the headline.


“Looks like it was a paper printed after the hurricane hit. Must be the stuff that survived it….”
“Oui, probably. Perhaps Alexander will like this stuff.”


John nodded, watching as Hercules and Lafayette each took their own copies of the newspaper, before returning to gaze to his own, beginning to read about the hurricane. It was odd, the details were barely mentioned. Sort of like how Alex described it himself. Not like John could blame the small immigrant, who would want to talk about what destroyed the only home you had known at the time? Skimming the page, he saw a small box near the bottom, titled Letters of survivors, page seven (7). John flipped to the page, paling upon what he saw.


“G-Guys….” He stuttered, calling the attention of his two boyfriends. He felt their gazes upon him, “Flip to page seven…”


The ruffle of pages being flipped filled the air for a moment, before dead silence filled their area of the store.


Staring up from the page was a picture of Alexander. Not the one from now, but the one of five years ago, looking just as he had when they first met him. Even with the faded paper, the bags under his eyes were visible, even worse than they are now. What shocked John was the length of the letter. It took up a whole page, and the person it was addressed to… He wrote to his father about the hurricane… He skimmed over the letter, feeling his heart shatter as he read the details that Alexander wrote, eyes widening.


“It seemed as if a total dissolution of nature was taking place. The roaring of the sea and wind, fiery meteors flying about it in the air, the prodigious glare of almost perpetual lightning, the crash of the falling houses, and the ear-piercing shrieks of the distressed were sufficient to strike astonishment into Angels. A great part of the buildings throughout the Island are levelled to the ground, almost all the rest very much shattered; several persons killed and numbers utterly ruined; whole families running about the streets, unknowing where to find a place of shelter; the sick exposed to the keenness of water and air without a bed to lie upon, or a dry covering to their bodies; and our harbours entirely bare. In a word, misery, in all its most hideous shapes, spread over the whole face of the country. A strong smell of gunpowder added somewhat to the terrors of the night; and it was observed that the rain was surprisingly salt. Indeed the water is so brackish and full of sulphur that there is hardly any drinking it.”


John didn't realize he was reading aloud, not noticing the other two staring at him as the strong words from the letter filled the air of the store, much more emotion in them than the cheap elevator music playing softly through the speakers.


“...Say not, we have suffered also, and thence withhold your compassion. What are your sufferings compared to those? Ye have still more than enough left. Act wisely. Succour the miserable and lay up a treasure in Heaven. I am afraid, Sir, you will think this description more the effort of imagination than a true picture of realities. But I can affirm with the greatest truth, that there is not a single circumstance touched upon, which I have not absolutely been an eyewitness to.” He finished, taking a shaky breath and looking up at his two boyfriends, noticing the reflection of his horrified face on them.


Lafayette was near tears, his hands clasped together in front of his chest, looking like he was almost praying.
Hercules was nothing better, silent tears streaming down his face as he held the frenchman tightly, pulling him close. Laurens took a deep, shuddering breath, standing up and taking the box of VHS tapes. He stacked the small pile of hoodies on top before heading to the counter, forcing himself not to cry as he handed over two twenty. The reading was the hardest thing he had ever heard, causing him a feeling of wanting to hug Alexander and never let go.


After he got the receipt, John turned, noticing Lafayette had followed him. The frenchmans lip quivered gently as he gave a soft smile, taking the stack of hoodies and newspapers from John, trying to lessen the load. Hercules came over, taking the box and handing Laurens the keys to the car, following Lafayette out of the store. The young man stared after them for a moment before following, unlocking the car. Normally, they wouldn't drive in New York, unless they were buying stuff they couldn't carry. He helped put the box in the back before getting in the car, giving the keys back to Herc, who had gotten in the driver's seat, laying back in his own, thinking.


“So, what're we gonna do with that box?” He asks, turning to gaze to look between Hercules and Laf.


“Oui, we will not be able to hide it from Alexander forever”


“We won't have to.” Hercules voice sounded rough because of the crying, “We can go through them, then get rid of them quickly. Hell, we can even give them to him after we watch them.”


“Herc, he might end up freaking out if he sees we have tapes from the island as well as the newspaper with his letter.”


“Then we can burn the papers, problem solved.”


“Hercules, mon cher, we must think about this, Notre petit lion might end up heading into another panic attack if he learns of this.” Lafayette quiets, before bouncing back up “We can hold a, how do you say, movie night! And we can invite everybody over, and, get a VHS player to watch the tapes!”


John blinks, staring at his boyfriend for a moment. Hercules pulls up to the campus, parking the car before sighing.


“Alright, Laf. We can hold a movie night.”

Chapter Text

So, yes, this fanfic isnt dead. I've begun to write chapter 2, but seeing as school midterms have finally come, it will take a while to finish, to edit and to post the chapter.

Please be patient with me, the last midterms will be the 30th. After that I will be more active unless school projects pop up!

Chapter Text

A few days later, the trio finally had a plan for Laf’s suggested movie night. They had managed to keep the VHS tape box hidden from Alexander, which is a true miracle, seeing as Alex was usually the first to discover the surprises the trio plans. Though, John noticed the small immigrant was growing more distant. He took more hours at the bar he worked at, heading to study groups for classes he wasn’t even in, avoiding Jefferson and Madison at all costs. Seriously, he jumped out of a window to avoid passing them in a hall. Thank god they were on the first floor.


Laurens sighed, turning his phone on to see that Laf had been messaging the group chat where they talked about Alex’s obvious problems, such as not sleeping for five days straight.


Mostly it was Laf telling everyone about the VHS tapes they found and the article, as well as the invitation to movie night. Thank god Alex wasn’t included in this chat, or else he’d probably start panicking. John sighed, watching as the rest of the group, one by one, agreed to join them for movie night. The three had decided Alex shouldn’t join them. They couldn’t risk sending him into panic attacks or him making them turn it off. They were curious, everyone was, about Alexander Hamilton’s past, and if this was their chance to see it, they can’t let him know.


He started to text the chat as well, and after about twenty minutes, they all agreed the movie night will be Saturday, since there were no classes and Alex worked a 12 hour shift that day. He stared at the screen before Laf walked in, nuzzling his face in John’s curls. Laurens sighed, sagging back into Laf’s chest, putting his phone away into his pocket before turning and hugging the tall frenchman.


“Oh god, do we really need to do this? If Alex finds out, he’ll-” Laurens mumbled into Lafayette’s chest, his hands clutching tightly to his sweater.

“Amour, he won’t do anything… He might be upset greatly, but we’ll keep him from doing anything drastic…”


John listened to Laf’s soothing words, yet couldn’t help it. He still worried, and it just made him feel nauseous. Saturday was only two days away. Surely they can keep the box hidden for two more days without Alex knowing.



Somehow they did. There were many very close calls with Alex. Too many for Laurens’ liking. But they had manage to keep the VHS tapes secret from the immigrant. Now, at 8 AM, he felt the mattress shifting as Alexander rose. They were all at Herc’s house, for the giant bed where all four can cuddle, but also because he was the only one of the three to own a VHS player. John heard Hercules grunt as Alex climbed out of the bed, along with the immigrant’s soothing voice, lulling the largest member of their relationship back to sleep.


Laurens huffed softly, sitting up as curls fell over his shoulders. He forgot he had taken out his ponytail last night. Alex had his back to him, pulling on a green sweater rather quickly. From what he knew of his boyfriend’s job, the apron he wore for uniform was at the bar, so he would put it on there, and it didn’t matter what clothing he wore under it.


“Oh, Laurens, I didn’t notice you were awake, darling..” Alexander’s words shook John from his thoughts, making him blush slightly but smile sweetly at the immigrant.

“It’s alright love… I thought you had to go into work an hour later?”

“Yes, but Herc’s house is farther from it than the campus. Besides, if I get there early I can clock in earlier and leave earlier.” Alex explained, tugging on a part of jeans and humming a soft spanish tune.


John nods, accepting his boyfriend’s explanation before laying back down, drifting off into sleep again.

He awoke again about four hours later, the clock nearing 12:30. He sat up quickly, eyes wide. Lafayette was still dozing in bed, but Hercules was gone. Laurens sighed, grabbing a hair tie and pulling his frizzy curls back into a ponytail.


He slipped out of bed and trudged across the room, heading for the staircase. Running a hand over his eyes, his other hand gripping the banister, John glanced up, hearing the deep humming noise coming from the kitchen. He slipped quietly down the rest of the stairs, walking down the hall and into the kitchen, watching Hercules hum as he flipped a pancake at the stove. Laurens smiled gently, walking over and nuzzling into Herc’s shoulder. He felt the larger man jump slightly, letting out a soft laugh.


“Jesus christ, John. You just had to give me a heart attack.”

“Not my fault, when you cook you become such a loveable teddy bear.”

“Oh really? Guess I’m not loveable at other times, huh?” John felt Hercules turn around, pulling him close to the fashion major’s chest. He laughed harder, nuzzling him.

“Fuck no, you are always loveable.”


Laurens looked up, smiling up at Hercules as the other smiles, nuzzling the curls on his head. He sighed, closing his eyes as he rested his forehead on Herc’s chest.

“I’m not looking forward to later today…”


He felt Hercules’ posture sag, as well as hearing the deep sigh.

“I know, John… But we need to look over the tapes, with the others. We need to see what Alex went through if they actually have him in it. If not, we can at least learn other things from it…”


Laurens sighed, nodding. Yes, he knew that they were all curious. Even Jefferson was ready to search into Alexander’s past. He admitted it in the group chat. Not that they can be mad at that, they were about to go ahead and try to head deeper into the immigrant's past with the tapes they bought.

He only hoped Alexander won’t find out.

Chapter Text

Aight so. This story appears to be dead. But guess what. I have lame ass reasons as to why I haven't updated:


1. I have lost my entire train of thought - Aka I seriously am in writers block as to how to continue from where it has been left off. I had a story planned out in my mind but, because of the loads of homework and things I do at home, parts have faded. Many parts that help the story continue.

2. I let my mind be attracted to other websites - Most people I know on here usually use their free time on ao3. But I have 3 deviantart accounts I have to manage, not to mention all the online games I play with friends who I would like to keep, and whatever means my friends contact me by. I can't put my free time and mind into ao3 all the time, and it might not seem like I do, but I am, catching up on the stories I subscribe to which I have been ignoring.

3. I started getting into different fandoms - Hamilton is an amazing fandom, alright? I love the way Lin-Manuel Miranda has brought American history to life within his 2 and a half hour musical. Hell, I spent over 1,000 dollars just so I could see it before he left the cast. But I am getting into more fandoms and things that make me feel happy. Therefore, I start making drabbles about those and forget I have this story. Which I am ashamed of but, I can't help it.

4. School - Guys, it's May. Which means my end of the year tests are right around the corner. And you might say I've had since February to make new chapters, but really, I haven't had all that free time. I take Drama, which means I have to write scripts for skits I do WITH a partner/group about every two weeks. I have to make lines, write out actions, pick what props, as well as make sure the partner/group and I have enough time to memorize lines, practice the whole thing, and stay within whichever time limit has been given to us. And yes, I got a Spring break, that has already passed, but I spent most of it sleeping, because I barely get sleep on school days.

So yeah, all my reasons why I haven't continued this story. And, to be honest, I was considering deleting the story and discontinuing it.



I saw all the comments left.
I saw people practically begging for the next chapter of this tale I whipped up because I was digging through storage.

I'm planning on dedicating my entire summer vacation to this story.
The end of my school year is around June 12th.
Now, I'm just gonna say this. It is a plan. I might stray, I might not be as on top of it as I want to be. I might completely disappear again with no explanation.
But I want to continue this story.
Even if I have lost interest and motivation to continue it, seeing people wanting to know what happens makes me feel responsible for quenching your anticipation.

So. Give me these last few weeks to get all my school done. Give me more time. Let me make sure everything is done to the best of my abilities to school, so I don't have to feel stressed about this story and school work at the same time.

If you can just have patience with me, that would be enough.
Thank you
- Alex 'Hamilton_Hell_Is_My_Home'
P.S. Yes, Alex/Alexander is my real name.

Chapter Text

Aight so.





Seriously, last week was hell on Earth. Today was my last day.

Ok, anyway, serious time.
I just heard from my family the summer vacation plans.
And oh shit how they mess up my writing schedule
My mom wants to take a trip lasting the whole moth of July.
Which houses my birthday and what not.
And the thing is, my 4 year old niece, who I really cant stand at all, is gonna be on the vacation with us
So guess who has to become a fucking baby sitter in a few weeks


Yeah so, Im gonna work on the next few chapters, and probably just post em through a schedule so the fic doesnt appear dead again.

Anyway, I got one thing to do tomorrow and then I should be fully free to do what I want
Then again whenever I have plans to write my mother somehow ruins it.
Ok anyway Im gonna post a few drabbles from other stories I got for the next few days before I start this up again Uh yeah