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Kyle Broflovski Eats Ass

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It was friday afternoon. The sun was shining, the grass was green (under the three feet of snow, i mean) and Kyle Broflovski was collecting his things after what had to be the absolute best day of school. His friends were happy, he was confident he aced ALL his AP tests and Cartman had actually been a little sweet that day. All in all, it was the perfect day at Park County High. That is, until Butters ran up to Kyle, out of breath and excited. "Is it true, Kyle? Is it???" The blonde asked, panting like he'd just run a marathon. "Is what true...?" The response that came was unexpected and Kyle was sure that shock was evident on his face when butters started giggling.

"I mean, is it true what you eat ass!" Butters said, laughing maniacally into his hands. "What the hell? Who said I eat ass?!" Kyle hissed, slamming his locker shut. "Well, it's written in the boys bathroom, right there in the third stall! So it really MUST be true then, right?" Without gracing Butters with a response, the ginger pushed past him and headed straight for the boys bathroom. When he arrived, a group of boys were gathered by the third stall, taking pictures with their phones and laighing. "Well if it isn't the man himself!" Kenny said, patting his friend on the back.

"You better not charge anything for this, you'll steal my clients!" He laughed and Kyle pushed through the crowd, eyes scanning the veritable novel of graffiti that littered the stall wall. Right there written in sharpie, right in the middle of hundreds of other insults, standing in red starkly against everything else in black, were the words "KYLE BROFLOVSKI EATS ASS". As if it couldn't get any worse, whoever had messily scribbled the accusation wrote his phone number beneath the words.

He was determined not to let whoever did this win.

He would find out who did this and exact his revenge.

Even if he had to eat ass to do it.