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Tears after all these years

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Alaim can't forget.

He didn't sleep that night. When the day turns 2 of May 1994 he is still awake lying on his bed sobbing

After coming back home from Brazil he is different.

He has nightmares for days, completely lost & still not able to deal with the fact he is gone

He starts crying more than once per day saying he is sorry for everything but he never gets an answer realizing it's too late

He feels his heart skip a beat every time Bruno is close to Nico
He sees himself and Ayrton in them and only feels the pain as it felt back then

He often has nightmares about the scene
About that dark day.
About thar dark week.
About him.

He spends minutes in imola right in front of his bronze figure always leaving a small flower

He does the same to his grave

 

Every time he sees a nasty crash he remembers him. When the driver walks away he only wishes Ayrton was doing the same back then

 

When Nico kisses Bruno for the first time he is there. This brings him memories.
He sobs again, leaving them. He doesn't want to spoil their happiness

 

It's been so many years but the tears are still here every time he thinks of him
His wounds don't seem to heal. And maybe they Never will.