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Never Easy

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“Your boy is not right in the head,” Pooch announced as he came into the kitchen.  He grabbed a handful of paper towels, ran them over his face, and said, “You need to do something, Cougar, or I might kill him.  And then you would kill me.  I’m too young and handsome to die.”

Cougar put down his paper and stared at Pooch for a second.  He could hear movement upstairs and he said, “He’s not supposed to be moving around.”

“Yeah, I told him that and he threw a glass at my fucking head,” Pooch commented.  He moved to the entryway and continued loudly, “So let the asshole pop all his stitches.  I don’t care.”

Cougar sighed and hurried out of the kitchen toward the bedroom he shared with Jake.  He knew the hacker was having trouble dealing with the concept of rest and antsy from the required downtime his body needed to heal, but Cougar wasn’t going to let Jensen hurt himself.  It had been too close a call this time and there were a few hours where he kept seeing Jake go down and not get back, hours where Cougar thought he might have to figure out how to go on without his amante.

When Cougar entered the room, he found Jake on the floor, a blanket over his shoulders and his expression one of anger and frustration.  Cougar sighed and Jake’s eyes snapped open and focused on him.  Jake smiled sheepishly and replied, “So, I, uh, can totally explain.”

“You tried to get out of bed.”

“I did get out of bed.  And then proceeded to fall flat on my face.   It seems that I’ve fallen and can’t get back up,” Jensen replied.  Cougar could see that he was trying hard to act like he was okay, but Cougar knew him better than that.

Cougar sat down next to him on the floor and asked, “Are you hurt?”

“Besides the obvious?”


“No.  Annoyed.  Frustrated.  Maybe slightly sorry for hurling my Star Wars cup at Pooch’s head.  Not hurt.”

Cougar inched closer so that their shoulders were touching.  He said, “You heard the doctor.”  Jensen groaned.  Cougar shot him a look and went on, “It will take time to heal.  You nearly died, Jake.”

“I didn’t.”

“Thank God.  I don’t know what I would’ve done…”

Jake reached out and grabbed Cougar’s hand.  He said, “I’m right here, Carlos.  Not going anywhere – literally or figuratively.”

“I wouldn’t let you," Cougar replied and he felt a swell of emotion in his chest when Jake smiled fondly at him.  Cougar stood up and bent over, wrapping his arms around Jensen to allow him to maneuver the hacker back into bed without causing him injury.  Jensen swatted his hands away at first, but Cougar glared at him and he relented with an annoyed huff.  After a minute of finagling, Cougar managed to get him back in the bed.  He tossed Jensen’s phone at him and said, “You don’t move.  You ask for help.”

“Fine,” Jake replied.  Cougar arched his eyebrow and Jake said, “I won’t move.  I’ll slowly die of boredom instead.”

Cougar kissed him gently, pushing Jake back against the pillows.  He said, “I need to run a few errands, but when I come back we can watch that show you’ve been babbling about.”


Cougar nodded.  He turned off the light and closed the curtains before turning to look Jake over again.  He had more color back in his cheeks, but he was still too gaunt and pale for Cougar’s liking.  This was going to sit with both of them for awhile, but at the moment, Cougar had to focus on getting Jake through it.  The rest could get figured out later.  He cupped Jake’s cheek and said, “Sleep. ”

“All I do anymore is sleep.  I’m sick of sleep.”


“Whatever.  I guess I’m tired.  My adventure to the floor may have wiped me out more than I care to admit,” Jake conceded.

Cougar kissed him and enjoyed the feel of Jake’s hands roaming through his hair as he kissed Cougar back.  When he pulled away, Jake grinned at him and said, “You could forget those errands and just stay with me.”

Cougar considered it for a minute, but he had a list of things he needed to pick up for himself and Jake and he’d put it off for too long already.  He slipped Jake’s glasses from his face and said, “Sleep.  Por favor.”

Cougar didn’t wait for a response, more to keep himself from being talked into sticking around.  He noticed Pooch lingering in the hallway and Pooch asked, “Did you want me to run those errands for you?”

“Yes, but I should do it.”

Pooch nodded.  “it would be good for you to get out of the house for a little while.  You haven’t left his side since he was hurt.  Why don’t you go to the firing range for a while?  I can entertain the idiot when he wakes up.”

“We’ll see,” Cougar replied.

“Jensen is the most stubborn idiot on the planet.  He’s not going anywhere, Cougar.”

Cougar shrugged and said, “He feels bad for what he did.”

“Good.  He should.  But I get it.  When I was recovering from that helicopter crash, as much as I loved Jolene doting on me, I wanted to kill everyone,” Pooch replied.  He patted Cougar on the shoulder and added, “But he’s Jay.  He’s got you and his sister and the rest of us.  He’ll be fine.”

Cougar knew it was true and tried to focus on that.  Sleep wouldn’t be his friend for some time, but Jensen was alive and not going anywhere that Cougar couldn’t follow.  And, at the moment, that was enough.