The first time I saw him, I thought he is a very cold and lack of emotion person who already have what he wants and doesnt have anymore desire. He has two best friend from his childhood. They arent in the same department but they are close and always spend time with each other. However, the second time I saw him, I saw something else from him.
As I walk toward my next class, I just couldnt help but to see him chatting with a tall blond who looked almost twice size as him. He looked calm and like always, emotionless. However, when his friend turn aside I saw him staring though the window and showing something I never thought of. He closes his grey orbs, probably thinking of something.
In that one moment, he sparks uncountable emotion shown at his beautiful face. He looked so distance and lonely. Its probably the emotion he rarely shows to anyone. It clenched my heart to see him that way. I just want to wash all of the emotion he is having away. I want to see him smile brightly though I doubt he ever show his smiles but I want to see it anyway. I want to be the only one that shown and that emotion is only for me.
With that, I realized something. This heartbeat that increasing and a warm feeling inside. Yes, I know what is this feeling. I am pretty sure of myself that I have fallen for him.
Suddenly, he snapped and turn to me. He must realized I was staring at him. He began to glare at me and I got shocked and began to return to my pace again, walking toward my next class.
Despite the rushing, my mind is pouring alot of feeling inside. I want to see him. I want to know about him. I want to be closer to him. I want to be with him.
I want to love and be loved with him.
- next day -
Once again, I saw him at the same room but this time he is alone and currently reading a book with headphone placed at his ears. This is my chance to talk to him but the first step is always the hardest step. You will be filled with dread and uncertainties. What if it doesnt work? What if this is the first and the last time we talk? But I want to get closer to him.
Concuring my fears and uncertainties, I began to walk inside the room and stops in front of him. He still havent realized that I am standing next to him. But I want his attention. So, I began to arrange my words and began to speak up that probably going to mess up later.
Usually I will always ignore my surrounding. I dont really have the time to bother with anyone else aside from my two best friend. One with calm and observance while another one with loud and playful. So, I just engrossed myself with the book I am reading and turning on my music player, hearing sounds in my headphone.
After a few minutes of reading and listening, I am closed to all my surrounding until a sudden loud voice yelling beside me. I didnt know what the hell he just said so, I just drop both the book and the headphone down hearing females giggling because of a reason I didnt know and began to use the death glare to the source of the sound.
I wasnt expected that the famous glare didnt managed to forms properly as I began to stare at the person stading next to me. He is tall person, messy brown hair and wearing casual clothes. However the thing I stare isnt the whole him but his beautiful ocean eyes.
I noticed that his face is turning red but the moment his ocean orbs looking directly at my grey orbs, we are suddenly turn speechless. Somehow, its as if the time stops. I know this person from a distance memories but I couldnt recall it. There are many thoughts in my mind but in the end, I suddenly felt my face grew hotter and this heartbeat making unreasonable sound. Though I doubt anything shows at my face. My emotion and expression just doesnt cooperate well. Thinking of this emotion, I figured something.
Oh. I see. This is the feeling Hange and Erwin always talked about. I have never thought I could feel this emotion in the first moment I saw him. Its weird but it warms me up. I know what this emotion is.
I want to know about him. I want to be closer to him. I want to be with him.
I want to love and be loved with him.
Its weird. Its definitely weird.
I dont know how long we are staring at each other but finally he broke our eye contact and look aside, forming words to his lips. “I am sorry of what I just said making you uncomfortable but there is nothing lie within it.” He stops his speaking and somehow trying his best to gather up the courage inside him. I have no idea what is the words that making him apologize but I just let it go as he began to speak up more with fear and uncertainties.
“My name is Eren Jeager and please consider what I just said!”
Heck, brat. What did you just said? I began to frown which made him looked like his tail and ears just drop down sadly rejected if he is a dog. However, he doesnt back down and just standing straight, waiting for my answer whether it is a positive one or negative one.
“First of all, I cant consider it.” Shit, I swear if he has dog ears and tail he is dropping them down rejectedly. “because I didnt hear any of it. I was wearing my headphone. So, please. Rephrase it. So, I can consider it.”
Then, his face turns red and giggling sound can be heard again around him. These females must be happy to see a drama ongoing.
“I was... asking for you to have lunch with me.”
God, that was clinche. I know this isnt what he just said because the giggling sound is trying yo suppress itself. However, I began to think for an answer. I know what my feelings are. I dont know what I should do with it. I dont know whether I should just go with it. I dont even know a first sight love can grew larger than it is. However, the world and the future itself is full of uncertainties. You just have to be brave enough to take it. And that is what I am going to do.
No. If its going to turn into a mess, I wont regret it. Its a choice made with calm mind. I wont regret it. So, I began to pack my things into my bag while Eren is in deep thought.
OH MY GOD! He didnt heard what I just said. That was embarrassing! All the girls around us heard it but he just didnt. OMG... OMG... And how can I change the subject? That was clinche. Seriously? Lunch? It almost twilight now. That was seriously embarrassing.
Then, I noticed he began to pack his thing. I am being rejected? Please, no. No. Dont reject me. After what I just said, dont reject me. Wait he didnt that... Oh, well... Just... just dont reject me.
After packing his stuffs, he just walk always passing me. I jusy stand there and looked at him going farther than me. So, this is it. Its over. Goodbye... NO. This is just the starting. The beginning. I wont give up. We just meet and the feeling and the instinct tells me not to give up. This world and the future itself is full of uncertainties and mystery to all. You just have to be brave enough to take the risk. And that is what I am going to do.
No. If its going to turn into a mess, I wont regret it. Its a choice made with calm mind. I wont regret it. So, I began to follow him with his steps. Before I reach his hand, he stops making me silent my movement as well. He turn to me, staring at me for awhile.
“I swear you looked like a fucking puppy just now.”
What was that?
“So, where are you taking for lunch?” He continued. Looking at his serious face, he must not realized its almost twilight now. So, just stared at him and looking at the window. With that he realized something and he looked away. Probably blushing. That is just cute. Both of us just made the same mistake. I just couldnt help but to chuckled lightly. Then, I saw it. For the first time, I finally saw it. Even if it was much, its a good start. The small smile at his lips is a good start, promising that it would be better as time pass by and as we will grew closer to each other.
“There is a nice cafe around.” I told him and he replied with an okay.
Then, both of us starts to walk side by side. We walk is silent before I realized something that I have forgotten. However, he beats me to it and speak up. Now without a doubt i know i am going to close our distance and definitely going to love him more. It made me realized that even if our steps are clinche it okay. It will be okay.
“Levi. Levi Ackerman. It was clinche but I hope we can get along, Eren.”
With that, I just laugh. Its weird how our mind sonehow are alike and differentially in the same time. Oh, and also I know that i am definitely going to fall hard on this person soon.