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A Complete History of the AO3 as Told by a Humble Wrangler Arranged to the Melody of 'A Complete History of the Soviet Union as Told by a Humble Worker Arranged to the Melody of Tetris'

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To fandom I came seeking friendship,
But we're scattered in darkness of night.
Oh the BNFs have it so easy:
Their fans can just come to their site.
The masses of fandom are lonely.
But just think what fandom could be:
If we could all build a panfandom guild
That cared for the small fans like me.

I am the one who arranges my tags
That remind me which sites have fanworks in.
Fandom unite! We will stand in plain sight!
And we'll fight for the sake of squee and win.
I work so hard at arranging my tags,
But the site owners care about money more.
Fandom will rise! We won't commercialize
Your profits are not what our art is for.
Long live the Org, down with SUP.
Fandom never will shut up!

I am the one who arranges the tags
That have started to fall into my bin.
The servers are ours and now we have the powers:
A collective regime of squee and win.
We're writing rules for arranging the tags.
But the people cry out, "And who is 'we'?
Fandom is vast, it's a wide net you've cast
And your big AO3 doesn't speak for me.
The Org will say that they're like you!
They're just BNFs through and through."

I am the one who arranges the tags
That are put on the works and fall into bins.
They come down and I wrangle them round,
And then I canonize or make them syns.
Sometimes it seems that to wrangle is great
And the filters will be so neat and clean:
Then I see that I have misjudged it!
Those syns are nothing like what I mean.
I want meta/subtag trees.
Why must these ambiguous tags tease?

I am the one who arranges the tags.
We have built AO3 in our server space;
We make Paul Gross arms for the Archive's great charms
While we're uploading fic at a rapid pace.
I work all day at arranging the tags,
But it's so hard to care when you feel alone.
There's nothing but wank and there's rarely a thank
You; I feel like an unpaid corporate drone.
People burn out left and right.
We lost two more just last night.

I am the one who arranges the tags
That are made by the users from Tumblr-land.
The tags are a mess, I will freely confess,
But they say we'll soon have a five-year plan.
So I'll keep on with arranging the tags,
Though the servers are groaning with the strain,
The tags make no sense, and the Guidelines are dense,
And the wrangling workflow's such a pain.
Everything is squee and win.
Don't complain, but stay nice and grin.

I am the one who arranges the tags!

...but tomorrow I think I won't log on.
The wrangulator will give me 404,
And all of the sidebar search is gone.
Time to flail and scream and shout!
Vote the Board in! Vote them out!

I am the one who arranges the tags
That continue to fall into my bins.
The filters are back! The Committee's on track!
And soon we'll have only squee and win!
The filters are back! The Committee's on track!
And soon we'll have only squee and win!
Squee and win, squee and win!

Now I go to chat, and look at that,
There's wranglers there who'll chew the fat;
New volunteers, and Cat Change nears,
And one by one each fandom clears:
The Staff is cleaning up the docs;
The ML hosts exciting talks;
We'll clear the bins and link the syns
And find some time to play.

And now they've asked, on Org's behalf,
If I would like to join the Staff.
Of course I said I'd come along;
I'm sure that nothing can go wrong:
We'll mentor every inductee,
We'll bring the Guidelines clarity,
We will arrange the tags, and squee
Forever and a day.

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