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The Cruelest Of All Is LOVE

Chapter Text

PROLOGUE 

WARNING slight smut.

 

Loud music and dancing. Happiness everywhere. People smiling and arguing playfully. A lean figure standing in a balcony. Another approaching. Exchanged formalities. A small smile. A denied blush. Blue eyes meeting Chocolate ones. Pearl teeth flashing. Silent whispers. A confession. Acceptance. Silly attempt at flirting. Another eye lock. And a warm hand clasping a freezing one.

Royal reception. A ball. A blond finding a brunette on the roof. A small smile. Slight awkwardness. Star gazing. Held hands. A few giggles. A chuckle. An eye lock. A small pure kiss. And a confession of attraction.

Bodies slammed on walls. A 'you have no idea how much I missed you '. A deep kiss. Hands running over clothes. A 'not tonight I am scared ' said without words. Another kiss. Sneaking out to the roof. Hot drinks. Heavy blankets. Breath that turns into fog. Star gazing again. And a make out session.

Hot skin against hot skin. Fingers tangled in dark hair. Bed spread and sheets flying everywhere. Gasps and moans of pleasure. Names being called. Tangled Legs. Swollen lips crashing into each other. Ragged breath on porcelain skin. And a promise. A promise of an "I love you "

Chapter Text

King Edmund the just had a very strict and boring chore to do every time there was a ball or the guests at Cair Palaver included ladies. It was dragging his older brother by the ear from some chamber back to his own in morning and giving him a long talk that The Magnificent king had memorised by heart.
"How many times do I have to repeat myself peter? How many times will it take you to start behaving in a fashion proper enough for a king?"
"Calm down Ed. It won't happen again"
And of course it did.
What frustrated king peter the most was how he never caught his brother in such a circumstance.
It was the morning after one annual winter ball when peter's luck started cooperating. He had to get Edmund's opinion on some changes in some contracts with Tashban. Usually these political issues were Edmund's responsibility, but the duke has demanded to confer with the high king himself.
When peter asked the servants about his brother's whereabouts they said he hadn't left his rooms since retiring to them the night before.
Peter had reached the main room of Edmund's chambers and he was practically fuming. His brother always kept nagging him about his duty to be on time and here he was still in bed when it was almost noon.
He was about to go and tear Edmund away from the bed when some sounds stopped him.
They were the sounds of breathy laughter and soft moans and rustling of sheets.
"Stop that. It tickles "
Said a really sweet and extremely beautiful voice. A vague memory of Edmund's laughter when he was young was awakened by it.
Peter slowly opened the door to be met with a sight that he shall never forget.
On the bed sat a naked King Edmund the Just with a sheet barely covering him softly kissing someone. Edmund seemed to push that person back on the bed, pulling the sheets with him, then rest on their chest.
"I love you "
These were three words that made the dumbstruck king in the doorway widen his eyes. Edmund his little brother, the cold hearted king who enjoyed the dirty game of politics and had no remorse when it came to traitors, saying these words. And not just throwing them around. No. They sounded extremely sincere and truthful.
"I love you too, Ed"
That was kicked peter's brain back into functioning.
"WELL well look what I found here. King Edmund the Just who is always lecturing me about my actions, in bed with someone "
Edmund was paralyzed. With slight difficulty to keep himself and his bedmate covered he turned around to look at his brother. His face was so red it made the kingdom's brightest ruby jealous.
"P...peter what are you doing here. "
The addressed sighed and turned around
"I will be waiting for you outside Ed.
Have a shower get dressed and ....let's handle this like adults. "
He then left and closed the door.

Chapter Text

Peter sat in the main room waiting for Edmund. How could this happen. Who was that lady. And how the heck was he supposed to talk about it with his brother. These thoughts kept running in his mind until he heard a door close. He looked up to see Edmund approaching him with an extremely red face and eyes that would not meet his. He sat down in front of his brother.
"Peter"
"What was that I interrupted Edmund"
"Peter "
"How could you do this and still keep snapping at me to ACT LIKE A KING "
"Peter"
"I thought you were wiser than this" Peter copied Edmund's voice stupidly.
"Peter. Can you please listen to me?"
"Go ahead. I am all ears." Peter fumed.
"Can you stop being an angry child who was denied candy and actually LISTEN ?" Edmund was starting to get irritated.
"I AM THE ONE WHO IS WRONG NOW, AREN't I?" Peter said voice rising.
"ASLAN'S MANE, PETER. I TRY TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT ME AND YOU END UP SHOUTING. YOU GO AROUND SHAGGING WOMEN YOU MERELY FIND ATTRACTIVE NO MORE,
AND I CANNOT HAVE A NIGHT WITH CORIN, WHO FOR YOUR INFORMATION I REALLY HAVE FEELINGS FOR AND AM IN LOVE WITH, WITHOUT.....YOU.....SCREAMING AT ME"
Silence. Edmund realising what he had just said blanched. Peter slowly processing looked at Edmund with eyes wide as saucers.
His astonishment slowly turned into horror when he saw Edmund silently crying while staring at him.
"Ed. Come 'ere. "
Edmund slowly went to stand in front of his older sibling clearly shaking, be it from fear or crying. Neither made it seem better. He was surprised to find his brother hug him tightly. And That was it. He snapped. He started sobbing into Peter's shoulder. Heartbreaking sobs escaped him. Peter's heart smashing with every one. He had scared his own brother to the point of crying. He had been intimidating for his brother to trust and too careless to notice that his brother was falling in love. He had failed to be a proper role model for any one. He has failed Lucy, who was always nagging him about Edmund. He has failed Susan , who would look disappointed in him when he ignored Ed's opinion, and then refuse to talk to him for days after Edmund's ignored opinion turns out correct. He was to blinded by his ego to make sure that all his family was fine.
When he had calmed down, Peter made him sit down.
"Edmund. I want you to say everything slowly and calmly. I am not going to hurt you now, am I?" He forced a smile.
Edmund took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the rejection, the possible slap and humiliation.
"I am in love"
Peter motioned for him to continue.
"I am in love with Prince Corin of the Archelands" the last part didn't come out as a whisper. No. It would show that he was ashamed of Corin.And Aslan forbid that. Peter showed no reaction.
"And what did I interrupt?" He said with a smirk.
Edmund blushed furiously. Secretly relieved.
"We were about to get up and bath"
" and" peter was definitely smiling cheekily now.
Edmund was more furious than embarrassed, so he decided to give his brother the answer he wanted.
"We were not going to have morning sex, Peter. My bum was sore enough from last night. " Edmund replied monotonously, keeping eye contact with his brother who was the one blushing now.
"Oh" came the smart reply.
They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes before
"Do you hate me?" Ed's voice was soft and terrified.
"WHAT?!? No No Ed. I would never hate you for anything. But I am going to need some time to wrap my brain around it "
"BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT HIS MAJESTY PRINCE CORIN OF THE ARCHELANDS GETS OFF THE HOOK THIS EASILY. " Peter continued, raising his voice so Corin who was getting dressed in Edmund's bedroom could hear him.

Chapter Text

The Archenlanders were leaving Cair Paravel the next morning and Edmund and Corin wanted to spend the last few hours they had together.
A short time after midnight, they sneaked out of Edmund's rooms to the throne room. It was incredibly fascinating to Edmund how poorly everyone at the castle noticed that Corin always spent the nights at his rooms and was never given one for himself. Well, he wasn't complaining now, was he?
They used the blanket Corin was holding as a shield from the cold floors. Corin lied back and Edmund, by the light of some candles, started reading to him from some old stories book he had found earlier in the royal library. Corin always said that Ed's accented voice was was really beautiful. Edmund usually swatted him with the nearest object when he said that.
"Sometimes. " Edmund looked up from his book at Corin. He was still lying back and staring at the glass ceiling.
"Sometimes, I wish we didn't have to hide. That we could go around holding hands or take a walk through the palace gardens without guards chasing after us. I want to be able to hold you and kiss you whenever I desire, not just in secret. "
"But" Edmund supplied helpfully.
Corin sighed " The only but is that my father is going to skin me if he ever knew. I mean you're brother already knows. And he has been over my arse since then. " Edmund snorted.
"What did he do. Now he didn't hurt you, did he? Because by the lions' mane if he had......."
Edmund never finished his threat, for he was silenced by his love kissing him.
"Relax. He didn't hurt me. Just the "hurt my brother once I will kill you twice " talk"
"How reassuring " Ed sassed.
They sat in comfortable silence for some time until Edmund decided to break it.
"Corin " A hum told him that Corin was listening.
"What do you think of me?"

Chapter Text

"Corin, what do you think of me?"
Corin was silent for some time.
"I think that you are manipulative. you are the coldest and the cruelest person ever but only when someone dares to hurt your family or Narnia. you are sometimes rude and you can anyone look like a fool with a simple look. you have seen
too much from this world you don't believe in happiness without a greater price. you are secretly scared that you are going to be judged for your past or your love or your ways of getting what you want." Corin took a breath and sat up and stared Edmund in his glistening with tears eyes. "But you are smart, caring, strong, just, senstive when you need to be. And - and nothing can ever stop me from loving you. I love you Ed. You have no idea how much I do."
And just like 5 years ago, Corin kissed him a small pure kiss.
"I forgot to mention a great seductive kisser." He mumbled softly against Edmund's lips.
Edmund told him that he thought that they should go back to his chambers before the servants wake up, catch them and tell his father.

When they had changed and laid in bed, Edmund snuggled close to his prince and
" what's wrong?"
Corin hesitated a bit before
"Did I hurt you?" A whisper. Scared no, terrified that he might have hurt the dearest person to his heart and his love.
"No" Edmund hugged him.
" When I told you to describe me I wanted to hear the negative parts. They tell me what I am like to others. I asked you because I knew you were going to be the most honest person about that. I love you and I trust you"
"me too" Corin murmured, relieved, but sleeply.
Ed kissed his cheek, got comfy in his arms and drifted off into the most horrible nightmare he had ever had the pleasure of having.

Chapter Text

No. No. No.

That couldn't be real.

It was just a dream.

Yet, it was so vivid.

So real………..

 Her arm was going in for the kill.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Edmund woke up screaming. A scream so pained and heart wrenching it made being tortured look like a walk in the park. He was taking ragged gulps of air and was covered in cold sweat. He started looking around frantically, searching. Relaxing visibly when he saw Corin standing in the doorway with a jug of water looking extremely relieved as he realised mainly because Ed had woken up and partially because he didn't want to deal with a wet-and-grumpy-because-he had to be awakened by having water spilt on top of him-Edmund. And behind him with a hidden knowing smirk and a concerned look on her face, was Lucy.

Corin hurriedly put the jug on a table and practically jumped on top of Ed and squeezed him. He then pulled away, cupped his cheek and pecked him lightly on the lips.

''My sister right fucking there, you know.''

''Is it just me or that was incredibly ironic'' Lucy's sarcasm filled words were enough to fool Corin, but Edmund detected the 'you've got a shit ton to explain and I want my bleeding explanation NOW' undertone.

''You can go back to sleep, dear. It's almost dawn; a few hours of sleep would great for you. There are a few things my sister and I want to discuss. We'll be in the office''

Corin took the hint and nodded at Edmund before slipping under the covers.

 

         As soon as Edmund had closed the office door, Lucy squealed.

=oh. I can't believe it. Finally you got a lover. But who would have thought! King Edmund The Just and Prince Corin of The Archenlands.

-Corin. He's not my lover, Lu. He's………much more than that.

=Do stop being overdramatic, brother dear. I say how long have you two been messing around. If I had to guess I'd say a year or two, three if I am pushing my luck.

One look at Ed's 'it's kind of a funny story' expression and Lucy was struck.

=How long have you two been together, Ed?

Lucy's voice had gone from excited and teasing to calm and soft.

-Eight years.

Lucy had a genuine smile spreading on her face after a few long minutes of staring at her brother.

=You really are in love with him, aren't you?

Sweet and gentle as ever, Lucy was the only person besides Corin who was able to break down his carefully constructed barriers. But, unlike his love. She didn't take her time and stony by stone demolished the walls, she just smiled and Edmund's walls came down tumbling.

-yeah…

Edmund was blushing and looked at the carpet like it was the best thing since sliced bread.

Chapter Text

Two more years passed in peace. Edmund had taken Susan on a walk and upon Lucy's insisting, told her about him and Corin. She didn't take it very well and even tried to find Edmund a 'woman decent enough to be a wife and a mother '. It was when she practically marched into his chambers with some duchess from the lone islands,who was wearing an extremely revealing dress, that he finally snapped. Corin seeing Edmund's silence knew that. He tried to mouth to Susan to 'please go', but she wasn't having any of it.
=Edmund, look, this is Martha the duchess of th............."
~Martha, I apologise for my sister's doing, but I don't see anything in you and am not currently looking for a bride. If you please, I ask you to leave my chambers.
Martha bowed and sauntered out of the rooms. Edmund whirled around to face Corin.
~And I suggest you go to your rooms too, Susan. After all, we shouldn't keep that gentlemen who you invited to 'have a couple of drinks with' waiting.
Ed's voice was the harshest and the coldest Corin had ever witnessed.
He continued to gather the chess set as if he had just told her that he liked her dress.
+HOW DARE YOU?
Corin's loud voice caused him to jump and look utterly terrified for a second before regaining his composure.
+How dare you disgrace your sister in that way? And in front of me !?!! Have you gone mad?
He took a deep breath.
+You are supposed to be the Just king, Ed. You of all people should know that she doesn't hate you. She is only confused. She doesn't know or realise how much I love you or you me. I am not sleeping in these chambers until you apologise to your sister and her majesty tells me that you are forgiven. Queen Lucy has always welcomed me in her chambers anyway.
Putting on his discarded cape, he turned, left the room with the bang of the door.

Chapter Text

When the Archenlanders were bidding their farewells Corin didn't pull Edmund aside and kiss him goodbye. He didn't even shake his hand. He only bowed and whispered 'I love you'. And Susan noticed.
The next visit was on Lucy's birthday. Corin didn't dance with Edmund secretly in the balcony. He didn't go to his rooms when Edmund announced that he was tired and was going to retire for the night. He only bid him good night and whispered 'I love you'. When the party was over, Corin went to his own suite and didn't even cast a glance in Ed's rooms direction. And Susan noticed.
When Edmund tried to corner him alone in the library he excused himself for he has some job to do for his father. He avoided being alone with Edmund at all costs. Not doing anything more than "Good morning ", "Good night" and "I love you". And Susan noticed.
When Edmund had had Corin alone in the throne room and asked him why was he avoiding him. Corin had said that Queen Susan hadn't informed him that she had forgiven him. Before leaving he had said 'I love you'.
And Susan knew.
And Susan understood.
And Susan cried.
For her birthday Lucy had requested that the four siblings dined together privately as a family without any person around them.
^Alright. What's going on between you and Corin, Ed?
*Nothing, Lu. Nothing's going on.
+You are such a terrible liar. Even I can see it. We are your family Ed. You can tell us anything. Did you fight? Did he hurt you ?! I swear to The Lion if he.....
*He didn't hurt me, pete. Nothing is wrong.
#No. Something is wrong. What I did is wrong. I apologise for it. I understand now.
Silence. Susan had never spoken about Edmund and Corin's relationship before. Only showing her disapproval to him.
^Su. What did you do?
Edmund felt goosebumps running down his spine then. Lucy's deadly calm voice and how she continued eating as if nothing had ever happened was even more frightening than if she had yelled.
*She hadn't done anything.
#No, little brother. I have. I judged you because of your love for him. I judged you because you fell for a man. I judged you because you fancy boys. I even went as far as harassing you for it. I tried to force you to marry a woman. I barged into your chambers without any permission and failed to see the raw affection between you two because of how blinded I was by my stupid ideas of how what you to did was disgusting and improper. I apologise for that Edmund. I am going to tell Corin next time that I understand now. I am going to tell him that I forgive you.
+I want a bloody explanation right fucking now.
Susan was already in tears and Lucy was comforting her while giving Edmund the 'we are going to talk later' look.
*Long story short. I told Susan about my relationship with Corin. She didn't like it. Tried to get me married. Then showed up at my room when Corin was over with some duchess and tried to get me married to her. I got angry and I called Su a whore. Corin was furious and vowed to never be near me till I apologise and Susan tells him that she forgave me.
+You called your own sister a WHORE.
Peter got up slapped Edmund and left.
Later that night Edmund would be seen sneaking into Susan's rooms and will continue apologising until she tells him that if he says another apology she will write a private letter to Corin not only saying that he is forgiven but asking the prince to screw Ed so hard that he won't be able to walk for a week.
Then he would sneak to Lucy's rooms and they will talk about the juicy details as she likes to call them.
And on the next visit from the Archenlanders Corin will kiss him in front of the whole court including his father King Lune, who will demand to talk privately with his son, King Edmund and the over cheerful and clapping other three royals of Narnia.

Chapter Text

Corin ran to where Edmund was standing in the middle of the throne room. He grasped him and turned him so he was facing him. He put his hands on his waist. He leaned in, their noses touching. "I love you" he said, not caring about anything or anyone. And he kissed him.
Edmund's hands directly tangled themselves in Corin's hair. They kissed softly ignoring the gasps from the audience and cheering from the other king and queens of Narnia. When they pulled apart, Ed whispered that he loved Corin, too. He pulled away then turned and stared the leader of the lone islands in the eye and said

"Don't think I have gone soft. I am still having these negotiations and will kick your arse if you get greedy."

King Lune had requested a private meeting with King Edmund and his son. Edmund suggested that they sit in his private chambers to which the king has agreed.

£ What is this Corin? Do you realise what you have done? Humiliating The Just King like that. My apologies for what my immature son has done, King Edmund.

@ There's nothing to apologise for King Lune. And to prevent any misunderstanding, Corin didn't humiliate me. He was trying to....er ...confess what has been going on between us for some time now.

£ Excuse me. What is that that you mean to tell me?

& Father, he means that I want to tell you why I hadn't gotten married yet. Why I didn't sway at every woman jumping me at balls. I am in love with him father. I have been for a long time.

£You two?!!! And for how long?

@ Ten years this winter ball.

£ Oh my!! You are practically married.

Both men blushed deep red at that.

£ Corin. Why did you not tell me?

Corin had always thought that he was prepared for this question, but right then his mind went blank. Thankfully Edmund was a man of words.

@ He was scared. He was terrified that you would hate him. He wanted to, believe me. But, and I am sorry for what I am going to say, your highness weren't the most comforting father.

£ I want and in pure detail, to know everything about this relationship. From how it started to right bloody now. And I want to hear it from you Corin.

& Well, ten years ago at the winter ball....

£ Go on.

& I saw Ed while he was standing alone in a balcony and I thought he ...um...he ... uhh...

Corin was fidgeting and blushing adorably, in Edmund's opinion anyway.

@ You thought what exactly?

He was teasing Corin. And Corin knew it.

& S-shut it. This is hard enough.

Edmund laughed a little. And for a moment they forgot the amused king sitting opposite them. Edmund kissed his cheek, causing Corin's blush to darken.

@ Just teasing you, love.

King Lune cleared his throat audibly, causing the two lovebirds to jump apart clearly embarrassed.

£ I think I have seen enough. I don't mind your relationship at all. Corin I want you to know that you are my son. There is nothing you could do that will make me hate you. I apologise for not being a good father, for failing to be approachable enough for you to trust and not be afraid of. But you're not getting away with this this easily. When we return home we are going to have a nice father-son talk. And if you two will excuse me, it is my duty as king to go and make a small fuss with your brother and sisters for knowing and not telling me.

King Lune stood up to leave. He shook Edmund's hand and said

£ Take care of him. I am too old to do so. I hope- I hope that someday I will be able to call you my son in law.

Leaving both blushing and bluffing, King Lune left the chambers.

Chapter Text

As soon as the door closed behind king Lune, Corin pounced on Edmund.

"If I were you I wouldn't have done that."

"Done what?"Edmund faked innocence.

Corin attacked his lips greedily, then after some moments he bit on Edmund's bottom lip, asking for entrance. Edmund denied and continued to tease him. Corin knew what to do. In one swift move, he had Ed in his arms bridal style and headed for the bedroom.

A minute later, a shirtless prince was sucking on a still fully clothed king's lips, begging for entrance this time. Still denied, his hand travelled to cup Edmund's arse. Receiving no reaction, he tried another tactic. He tugged Ed's shirt up and off him. They parted for air with their foreheads pressed against each other and Edmund's hands sneaking into Corin's hair. Corin attacked Ed's neck With open-mouthed kisses.

"You are going to leave marks" Edmund gasped.

"I don't care. I want everyone to know that they are to keep their hands off you"

Corin bit slightly, causing Edmund to open his mouth in a silent moan. Seeing his chance, he pressed his lips to Edmund's and then shoved his tongue into the pretty mouth. They french kissed for a while before Corin slid down to the pale chest and sucked the white skin leaving marks that were very visible. His hands found Edmund's belt and started undoing it slowly. He looked up at him with a concerned face.

"Edmund, if you don't want to it's okay. We don't have to. "

It was not their first time, but through hard earned knowledge he knew that Edmund didn't desire intimacy frequently. They had once tried doing it when Edmund didn't want to, but Corin hadn't known then, and they had stopped as soon as he had noticed the tears on Ed's cheeks. After a long and extremely awkward talk, Corin learned about the Edmund's infrequent desire for sex.

"That little problem in my trousers doesn't suggest that, does it?"

Corin smirked.
" You mean this problem. " He palmed Ed's groin.

"You bloody tease" Edmund whimpered.

In one swift motion, Ed's trousers were off him. Surprising Corin with the lack of pants.

"What. These leather trousers are too bleeding tight. You are not to expect me to wear pants under them"

Corin released a chuckle, then proceeded to take off his own. He leaned over and grabbed the bottle of unscented oil from under the bed. He coated a finger and then placed it at Edmund's entrance. Slowly, he pushed in and waited for Edmund to adjust before he started thrusting. A after a couple more thrusts, Corin removed his finger and started applying oil to his erection.

He lined up with Ed's entrance then inchmeal started enter him. Edmund gasped and started breathing quickly and unsteadily. After Corin was fully inside him, he waited for it.

Five....

Four....

Three....

Two....

"You better start moving or I will be the one fucking you next time"

Corin grinned. "I will be delighted "

He then started thrusting into him at a snail's pace, gradually increasing the speed. Edmund started gasping and moaning, and Corin thought Ed's loud moans were the best thing ever. Usually, Ed wasn't vocal and Corin had to coax the beautiful sounds out of him.

He angled himself so with each thrust he would hit the spot that makes Ed's breath hitch.

His thrusts were now rapid and sequence less, as he was nearing his release. With a loud moan, he came inside Edmund's arse.

Seconds later he pulled out and wasted no time as he started rubbing the king's hardness until he too came with a loud gasp and a somewhat low scream of his love's name. Corin used what was left of his strength to grab the sheets, cover both of them and kiss Edmund one last time before falling asleep.

A couple of hours later Susan will open the door and will notice the two men in the bed and the discarded clothing thrown across the room. She will calmly close the door and go to Peter's chambers and ask how he deleted the image of how he found out because she was certain that she will need some type of brain bleach to forget that.

 

Chapter Text

The day of the hunt for the white stag was a cursed day in Narnia. It was the day that started it all. The invasion of the telmarines and the downfall of Narnia. It was the day of sorrow and heartbreak. It was the day of a wedding.

The whole Archenlanden court was present at Cair Paravel to witness a huge wedding that would have been that night. It was the wedding of King Edmund The Just and Prince Corin of the Archenlands. And the prince was nowhere to be found.

"Calm your brother, Peter. I know my twin. I will find him. Just tell him not to piss himself with worry."

And here he was the other Archenlanden prince and heir to the throne, Cor, staring at his mess of a brother.

+ Corin. What's wrong, little guy?

Corin didn't move or even acknowledge his brother. He just sat there, at the back of the stables, curled up and sobbing hysterically. Cor dropped by his side and started whispering soft and reassuring none senses to him, while holding him and occasionally kissing his hair.

=What if he says 'No'? What if he cancels the wedding?

Corin's voice was so pained and sorrowful.

+You are speaking as if you love him.

=Of course I do, you clot pole. He has been with me for fifteen years.

+This is new information to me. I thought this was some sort of forced marriage. You know, when you get married for the sake of the country.

Corin actually laughed at this. Finally, he had started to calm down. They started chatting,Cor , after extreme effort, managed to convince him that Edmund loves him and that he was almost wetting his trousers because no one could find him.

*I am going for a ride with my siblings. We are going to look for the white stag. I highly doubt we'll find it.

=Be safe. And please return before the ball starts.

Edmund joined his soon to be husband. They were both lying on their backs, hands lightly touching.

* Love. I have been having this feeling, and I know you too have, that-that we won't be getting married tonight. It's not that I don't want to. I swear by the Lion's mane. It's just that...... I don't think any of us four is going to return to the palace.

Both men were in tears now and Corin was whispering "please don't leave me"s and "I love you"s and Edmund was sure to reply to each and every one of them with "I love you"s or "me too"s. He knew how insecure his love was about their relationship, how he's continuously terrified that Ed doesn't love him or that he'll leave him. Edmund remembers one time when they were fifteen, when Edmund had started replying to these words, they had a silly fight because 'these boots look barmy'. The fight had escalated to Corin breaking down and asking 'Why do you love me? Why would anyone?' to which Edmund, whose experience in handling this type of situation was the same as Peter's with bed-sheets changing; none existent, could not form any thought other than 'Bloody hell'.

=I love you so much, Snake. I know what you are talking about though. I have that little hunch, too. I thought I was being overdramatic.

+Apparently, not.

Tears were still falling from Edmund's face, but his tone was a teasing cold and harsh one. Frost and ice. He hated that nickname with a passion. He earned it at a political negotiation between Narnia, Archenlands and Tashban, when he practically hissed at King Lune. In a very snake-ish manner Corin had later commented.

The two men started kissing lightly, which later escalated into Corin banging Edmund so hard he was walking with an obvious limp.


Later at the castle gates, Ed managed to corner Corin for a last Goodbye.

*We shall not part with a kiss, love. It will cause you much pain, if I am not to return.

=I lo.....

*Hush. None of that now.

=Edmund, please stay. We can fool destiny. This is all wrong.

*If I did anything right in my life, it was when I gave my heart to you. You have a place in my heart no one else could have. You can only dance around destiny so long before fate pulls you in.

=When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you. When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you. When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. And now that I love you, I don't want to lose you.

*What were you going to say as a vow, if you are already this romantic?

Edmund was simply teasing Corin, who just smiled and answered him truthfully.

=With this hand I will lift your sorrows.
Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine.
With this candle, I will light your way into darkness.
With this ring, I ask you to be mine.
So, will you,King Edmund The Just, do me the honour of being mine?

He handed Edmund a ring. It was the ring that he was going to wear that night. Edmund slipped into his ring finger, then looked at Corin and said.

*I am too sober for this.

Corin chuckled and told Ed to go and join his siblings. When the four kings and queens were ready to go, Corin ran to where they were standing and shouted

=EDMUND, I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT NAKED NOW.

Much to Edmund's embarrassment.
He just smiled, repeated the words and galloped after his snickering siblings. He still held a slight hope that he was going to return from this hunt.

Chapter Text

Every child returns from Narnia with a gift.

Lucy's was to never forget.

Susan's was to start forgetting.

Peter now had a sense of responsibility.

Edmund's once vengeful and hatred filled heart learned to love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lonely broken boy hiding in the attic. A professor finds him. Hushed comforting words and one-sided conversations. Days passing. Trust slowly building

"I like boys". A soft smile. "And that is Okay".

Apologises from elder siblings and devastation. Goodbye.
"He never loved you." A broken heart breaks into dust. Pain. Numbness. Self doubt. Self hate. Blood and vomit covered floor.

Screaming. Crying. Comfort. Coldness.

"What is wrong, is that I snogged a boy, mother. I snogged a boy and I liked it."

A slap. And the dust-like heart forgets how to love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let me explain myself,

I know this chapter is unclear. But, I wrote this way so people who are triggered can also read it.

If you aren't someone who gets triggered, I am going to explain.

Edmund starts spending his nights in the attic crying, the professor finds him and tries to comfort him, he starts speaking to Edmund, who wouldn't reply and would act as if he was ignoring the professor. He starts to trust the professor and eventually comes out. Kirk accepts him and worms everything about Corin out of Ed.

The night before they leave, Peter confesses to sleeping with a drunk Corin, to Edmund's utter devastation.
He did know that Corin had cheated and had continued to apologise till the day he left. However, he refused to say with who, excusing himself by saying that it would hurt him so much.

A few days back home Ed's miserableness starts showing, Su thinks that she has to end this once and for all; she tells Edmund that Corin had "never loved him". Ed becomes numb and starts thinking of reasons that he was unloveable. He becomes bulimic and starts self-harming. His mother finds him in the bathroom once passed out, she screams and calls for his father.
When he wakes up his mother tries to comfort him and asks what is wrong.
He was already cold when his heart was whole, but now he burns worse than ice. He comes out. His father slaps him and Edmund forgets how to love.

Chapter Text

"Pevensie!!! For this paper you will be paired up with Mr. Chase. Please escort yourself to his side. "

Edmund glanced at the boy the latin teacher was pointing at.
He had already turned and was smiling at him. Felix Chase. Boy extraordinaire.

He had fluffy shoulder-length red hair and Amber eyes. Amber eyes that have never seen the light before.

Edmund collected his things and moved to sit beside Felix. He wasn't quite happy that he had to work with the blind boy. He will probably end up doing all the work. It wasn't like Latin was hard, quite the contrary. If those years at Narnia had taught him anything, it was Latin. It was just that Edmund hated that he'd do all the work and then someone else would get the praise.

"Class dismissed"

"Hey. It's Edmund, ain't it?"

Ed turned and so that Felix was looking at him, where he was sitting beside him anyway, with a frown. The boy then had sudden realisation dawn on his face and he looked quite sad.

"Yes. And you are Felix, correct?"

The red-head looked startled for a second, before his smile was back on.

"I figured that you left."

"Why? Do people do that to you?"

"All the time"

Edmund was speechless. Here he was, not a bloody year later, with a boy who needed a friend just as much as he did before going to Narnia. But, Ed's heartbreak and resentment and bitterness refused to let go of his heart and let him live in peace again. He mightn't be able to become Felix's best mate just right now. However, he certainly can be nice.

"How about we go get our lunches and discuss the project?"

If possible, Felix's smile widened.

"Sure"

Chapter Text

One lunch turned to every day. Every day turned into every possible moment. It was never enough. Risks starting to be taken. Sneaks out of dorm rooms in the middle of the night.

"sella"

"That's a chair"

"Correct. You are getting really good at this."

"Say something in Latin. You sound comfortable when you speak it."

"Est ugbay super brachium tuum"

"What does that mean?"

"There is a bug on your arm"

"Oi. Where is it?"

Felix started swatting his arm looking for the invisible bug, he only stopped when he heard a chuckle.

"That's what the sentence means."

Felix just continued to stare at him with a never breaking grin.

"You laughed. Well, technically it was a chuckle, but I ain't complaining."

Edmund visibly blushed. He had never blushed because of a boy since since....him.

"Where do you live? Since, School is almost over and if we live near each other you can come over, if you like. "

"Finchley"

"Oh! Granny lives there. I spend the summer there, too."

"Brilliant"

A couple of moments passed.

"Edmund. Why did your parents send you here? You used to go to a school near home as you said before."

"I will tell you later. Right now you have a Latin Final to study for."

A groan.

"Come on. I won't tell you if you don't get good grades. Tell me, what's a bed?"

"lectulo"

"Great you are getting the hang of it"
"Now. What's a...."

Chapter Text


The Train station.


"ED. HEY ED."

"Felix. I thought you took the previous train. "

"I couldn't see a door and no one told me where to find one"

Felix's tone was nonchalant, uncaring for how people treated him.

'I got used to it'

He had once told Edmund when he asked why he it didn't upset him when some rugby team member jerk called after them once,

'Hey redhead, found yourself a lackey? Or is he your dog now?'

"Anyway, I have got to catch this train. It's the last one heading to Oxford."

"Don't you stay with your grandmother in Finchley during Holidays?"

"I have to grab a few things from home first, I'd be extremely grateful if you showed me to where a door is. "

He wasn't offended. Edmund knew that. It was like their inside joke.

Ed chuckled, only to see Felix's smile break into a full on grin.

"Here."

Edmund slowly lead him to the door.
He was about to hug him, but as soon as his hands touched Felix, the Redhead winced.

"Sorry. I forgot. Are you getting better?"

"You are the one that looks at those, you tell me."

"But, you are the one that feels the pain. "

"Am I, now?"

Without further explanation, Felix boarded the train and waved in Ed's direction.

"See ya. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Blimey, Peter. Do you have to fight with every single student before we leave?"

"You don't know what he said."

"Enlighten me"

"You aren't going to like it. "

"Since when did I care?"

••••••••••••••

"Hey Pevensie."

"What do you want, Evergreen?"

"Is your brother a fag?"

"What did you just say?!"

"Let me rephrase that. Does your brother like it up the bum?"

••••••••••••


"He dishonoured you Ed. He dared say that about you. How could he even think about it. You have a girlfriend, don't you?"

If possible, Peter would have combusted from the heat of Edmund's glare.

"No. I don't."

"We should get you one, then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After finding Prince Caspian, at the tomb.

"Edmund can I talk to you for a second?"

"What."

"I am sorry."

"For what I said. Back at the station."

Edmund nodded.

"It's ok. We all started forgetting."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The night after winning the battle after celebrations ended,
Prince Caspian's rooms.

Edmund was slammed against the stone wall, a moan escaped his lips.

"You have no right to go around looking like that."

Caspian said as he kissed Edmund softly. He moved his hands to start undoing the other boy's shirt.

"All shaggy dark hair and mysterious air around you. Did you have any idea how long I wanted to do this?"

Edmund only gasped in response as Caspian began to bite at his neck.
His hands travelled to Ed's trousers.

"Ok?"

"All the way. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 Narnian months later,
The door in the air.

"You and Caspian have been shagging, haven't you?"

"Lu!!!"

"You have. I knew it."

"Shut up"

"Edmund."

"I know. I know. I am just about to have my heart broken again."

"So you love him. "

"No. Not really. I fancy him. No more."

He said it with a smirk. Not just any smirk. It was his signature smirk. The one he had before chopping of the head of the giant king during the war with the giants. The one he had when he was about to sentence the first Telmarin spy to death, when he drove an arrow through a dummy's throat during practice. The crazy one, the one that showed the bitter, ruthless and slightly evil Edmund.

She looked at Caspian, he was looking at Ed with such fondness and adoration. Caspian was, in Edmund's not so humble opinion, a fool. He was soft and naïve. What better way to harden him than break his heart?

'We should not fall in love, because everything that falls gets broken.'
Edmund had once told her.

Caspian had fallen in love with her brother, Lucy thought, and he was going to pay the price.

"You don't want to do that."

"I am pretty sure that is why I am doing it."

"No. You are doing it because you are hurting."

"Sure thing, Lu."

Lucy then knew, the day Edmund was humiliated was the day his heart died.

Chapter Text

It tore Peter apart, when Ed asked father if he could visit his girlfriend. Peter knew it was Felix that Edmund was going to visit.

It broke his heart when father perked up at the words "girlfriend" and "Charlotte. ", and told Edmund how glad he was that his son stopped thinking foolishly and sinfully.

It destroyed him when mother thanked god for her son's curing during grace over Sunday roast.

--------------------------------------


Edmund and Felix were lying on the bed in Felix's room beside each other. They had been chatting softly then decided to just enjoy each other's company.

"Eddie.."

A hum sounded in return.

"Why did your parents move you to the school?"

Edmund was silent for a few moments. Did he trust Felix? Of course he did. What type of inane question was that?

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. "

The brunette pressed his lips together.

Just as he was about to reply a loud ruckus sound from outside. Edmund was on his feet in a blink, senses alert and body in a fighting stance.

The door burst open and it was polly, Felix's grandmother. She looked sad with terror in her eyes. She ran to Felix and took him in her arms.

"Oh my sweet boy, they arrested Mr. Graham and Mr. Smith. What if they found out, Lex? I am so worried. "

"Polly Plummer, get ahold of yourself."

Felix's tone was light and comforting.

"It's going to be alright, granny. I think you are going to burn that pie. "

The older woman sniffed lightly.

"Oh dear, I think I might if I don't hurry. Excuse me. "

Just like that, she was gone again.


Felix was silent for a few moments until a sniffle alerted Edmund that the other boy was crying.

"Felix?"
He slowly sat down in front of the red head and took one of his hands in his.

"Can you.....can you hug me?"

"Of course I can, you dimwit. "

Edmund was relieved that Felix had talked and asked for comfort when he needed. As he took him in his arms gently, the memory of Felix on their last day of school when Ed found him beat up, bleeding and bruised, in his bed. Some animals from higher grades had done this to him. Edmund knew there was still a handful of injuries decorating the sweet boy's body.

The ringing of the alarm clock on the bedside table startled Ed out of his thoughts.

"Come on. You can tell me what the hell was that while I see to your injuries. "

Felix took off his T-shirt and lied on his back slowly, tears smudging his cheeks and face red.

"Mr. Graham and Mr. Smith were our neighbours, they lived together. "

The other boy was rubbing a cut on the redhead's shoulder with some alcohol, it was the nastiest one and Felix winced at the sting.

The boy was silent until for a long time. Or what seemed like it. Edmund redressed the cuts and reapplied disinfectant to the small scratches and put some salve on the bruises, then gently turned Felix to lay on his stomach.

"They love each other, Eddie. Granny used to leave me for them to babysit when she went shopping. They would sit beside each other and sneak kisses when they thought I wasn't looking. They love one another. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THAT?"

The raven haired boy was startled, never had he ever heard Felix shout, it was loud and sad and heartbreaking all at the same time.

"Nothing. "

The blind was back in his clothes and both were cuddled under the covers.

"Do you mind two boys or girls loving each other?"
His voice was small and gentle.

"Heaven no, Felix. Actually, I quite fancy boys myself. "

Nothing could have prepared Edmund for what happened next, Felix was on top of him, using his hands to find the dark haired boy's lips and kissing him. It was one of the most sensual kisses Ed had ever experienced. It was slow, hesitant and dangerous.

"Now I owe granny a pound. "
Felix mumbled as he rested on top of the other boy, head on his chest and legs on either side of him.

"That was the stupidest, most reckless thing you ever did. "

"Sorry. "

"Do it again. "

"So you didn't mind? "

"Of course I didn't mind, you nitwit. I fancy you. "

Felix sat up, straddling Edmund in the process, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Really?!"
He sounded as if someone just told him that Hitler decided to stop the war and take up knitting.

"Yes, Felix. I fancy you quite a lot, if you would agree to be my boyfriend, that'd be just terrific. "
Ed's all business tone was in action.

"I wouldn't mind at all. "

"Now get off of me before Polly finds us in a compromising position. "

 

Chapter Text

It wasn’t Edmund’s fault, really.

He had snapped awake with a feeling of extreme nausea and a need to vomit. So it wasn’t his fault that Eustace decided to lecture him about proper way of speaking to your host while blocking the bathroom door. Though, He had to admit that the look on his cousin’s face when Ed hurled last night’s digested supper all over him was worth a thousand lectures.

So It wasn’t his fault.

The repetitive morning sickness and his mood swinging violently from extreme sorrow to extreme irritation to extreme silence weren’t his fault.

His increased need for........physical affection since knowing that Felix is visiting was completely normal, it was probably hormones.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edmund moaned when Felix ran his tongue over his lips. Both boys stilled. This was something new between them.

“Ed?”
Felix put his fingers on the other boy’s cheeks lightly.
“You’re blushing. “

Edmund swallowed.

“Oh. You are embarrassed. That’s stupid of you. I am very flattered that my sloppy kissing has that type of effect over you. “

“I am really sorry, Lex. “

“Don’t be.”
Felix smiled, that smile that got Edmund’s heart to beat a little faster.

“Just so you know,” Felix blushed and murmured something.

“What was that, mon amour?”

“I said that I wouldn’t mind going a bit further. And I currently regret teaching you French. “

Edmund laughed. Then suddenly, he switched their positions so he was the one straddling Felix.

“How far would you like to go?” Ed whispered in his ear.

Felix was startled by this new side of Edmund.

“Not much. “ The smaller boy swallowed.

The raven started kissing him slowly, gradually increasing the heat of the kiss. Felix got hold of Ed’s shoulders, hoisted himself up and pushed the other boy on his back. He wasted no time as he started attacking his boyfriend’s lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eustace’s curiosity was killing him. What was his cousin and his blind friend doing up there?

“Lucy?”

“Yes, Eustace. “

“What do you think they are doing upstairs?”

‘Snogging each other senseless. ‘
Lucy thought to herself.

“Usually Edmund reads to Felix or teaches him Latin or Felix teaches Ed French. “

Eustace scoffed.
“What does your brother know of Latin? “

“Enough to be the best in his year. “

“I am going to check on them. “

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eustace didn’t know what he was expecting but it certainly wasn’t this.

He had opened the door slowly with a snarky remark on the tip of his tongue that quickly died when he witnessed the couple vigorously kissing. He slammed the door and ran down stairs to where Lucy was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eustace kept his mouth shut and didn’t breach the topic at all. Then all hell broke loose. They fell into Narnia.

————————