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Jensen and the Red Devil

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“I hate stir fry.”  Claire shoved a piece of broccoli around her plate in disgust.

Jensen poked at a peapod with his fork and looked over at her in confusion.

“So why did you make it if you don’t want it?”

“Because it’s healthy.”  She muttered making a face while stabbing a shrimp and popping it in her mouth, chewing with a frown.

“I can honestly say that I have never seen anyone angrily eat stir fry before.”

“Well I have to cook because you don’t.”  She said sarcastically, looking at him with a frown.

He swallowed a bite of his dinner and made a face, “Hey, what did I do?”

“Nothing, Mister ‘I eat cereal and chicken wings then go out for beers with Pooch every Friday night and I look like I could fight the predator with my army body’.

He looked up at her in surprise, “You think I could fight the predator?  That would be awesome!  Are you talking part one or two because if it’s two—“

“You don’t listen to me!”  She wailed as she got up and walked to the kitchen putting her plate in the sink.  She went to the pantry and grabbed a jar of peanut butter and found Jensen’s “secret” stash of chocolate.  She started dipping it in the peanut butter before shoving the pieces in to her mouth eagerly.

She sensed she was being watched and she looked at the doorway.  Jensen was peeking in at her, looking confused and nervous.

“Um, you gonna be okay?”  He had a lopsided smile and she rolled her eyes.

“Why do you have to follow me around??”  She asked putting the jar on the counter and started to leave the room.

“Cause you look like you need a hug?”  He pulled her over and wrapped his strong arms around her, squeezing gently.

She sighed and relaxed in his grip and then started to sniffle.

“Are you crying?”

“Why do you smell so good.”  She started crying.

“I showered?”

“No you smell good, like good good.”

“I don’t know what that means Claire.”

“So you don’t want me?  I try to put the moves on you and you turn me down!”  She started crying harder and pulled free of his grasp.

Jensen stared at her for a minute.  She tried to push him away but with his muscular frame, it was no easy feat.

“Move, you’re in my way.”  She stomped upstairs and left him standing in his spot perplexed.


He was little scared actually.  He came home and his girlfriend had been a sweet angel, giving him a hug, offering to cook a hot meal.  Suddenly she had turned into a demon possessed monster.  He figured she wanted to be alone so he went back to the living room, sat down and began flipping channels.

“Aren’t you going come up here?  I need cuddles!”  She sounded annoyed.

He made a face and flipped a few more channels, debating what he should do.  Don’t anger it, Jensen.  He thought to himself.  He kept flipping and eventually went upstairs when he was sure she fell asleep.  He hadn’t heard anything in a while, plus it was getting late.  He hoped whatever was bothering her would pass and he’d have his Claire back soon.


When he woke up the next morning, he immediately noticed the change in Claire.  She was looking over at him with a glint in her eye and a naughty smile.

“Well good morning to you too, Grumpalicious.”  He said smiling over at her.



“Can I give you a BJ?”

He laughed and looked back at her, “You usually don’t ask, you just go for it.”

“I know, but I’m super prowly.”

“I see.  Then who am I to deny you when you’re super prowly.”

She giggled and ducked under the covers while Jensen looked down at her curiously.  A moment later, he lost the ability to think and put his head back, closing his eyes.


Later that morning he was sitting at his desk, packing some duffel bags, when he felt hands come up behind him and run along his shoulders.

“Whatcha doing?” Claire asked cheerfully.

“Packing.  What’s up?”

“Welllll, I was thinking you could take a break.”

“Yessss?”  His ears perked up and he grinned as he stopped what he was doing.

“Mmhm.”  She kissed the back of his neck moving toward the side, up to his jawline.

“Please, Jakey?”  She said softly, her voice a siren song.

He stood and turned suddenly and lifted her up as she wrapped her legs around his hips, walking to the couch quickly.


Later that evening, they were at the movies and Claire looked over at him as he ate some popcorn.

He did a double take at her watching him and he slowed down his chewing.

“You ate your Reecie cups, this is Jake’s food.”  He said with a mouthful before swallowing.

“I don’t want your popcorn” she said running her fingers along his thigh inching them upward to his zipper, smiling at him.

His eyes widened and he looked around nervously.


She nodded and smiled.

“Is this why you wanted the back row?”

She nodded, cupping him softly causing him to jump.

“I can’t believe I’m actually saying this but….I don’t know. You know I make noise.”

She moved up and knelt facing him between his legs.

“Try not to then.”  She said as she unzipped his jeans.


The next morning he woke up to find Claire climbing on to his hips looking down at him.

“Jakey wake up.”  She said

Uh oh.  He was exhausted and honestly she wore him out from chasing him around the house and the mindblowing attention she gave him during the movie the night before.



“I’m tired.”

“I’ll wake you up.”  She said playing with the strings of his pajama pants.

“No, I mean, I’m worn out.  I got nothin’ left right now.  I need a break.”

She sat up and climbed off stomping to a hamper.

“I see.”

“Don’t be mad.  You know I wouldn’t turn you down if—“

“What did you say?”  She turned around and Jensen shied away and pulled the covers up a little.

Don’t anger it Jensen.  Oh shit.

“You didn’t turn me down.  I changed my mind.  I have laundry to do.”

He made the mistake of laughing.  “You turned me down for laundry?  You’ve been climbing me like a tree for almost two days.”

Claire, burst into tears.

“So I’m your whore now?  Fuck this, do you own damn laundry.”  She left the room slamming the door behind her.

She stomped out of the room and Jake sat stunned for a minute and then became angry.  Her choice of words hurt and he wasn’t thrilled with how she labelled herself just now.  He angrily got out of bed and stalked after her.  This was not how he wanted to spend the morning.

He found her in the kitchen leaning on the counter facing the sink.

“What the hell is going on?  Don’t ever call yourself that!  You know I don’t feel that way and I hate when you put yourself down.  What is going on with you lately?

She grimaced and leaned farther over the sink, stretching.


She let out a low groan in pain and he rushed over.


“I have cramps, go away!”  She grumbled.

He rubbed her back soothingly, “You should go sit down.”

“No, you hate me now.”  She burst into tears.

“What?  No no, I’m a little scared of you right now, but you look like you should sit down.

“Okay.”  She sniffed.

“Jake, I need a hug.”  She whined.

“I need a drink.”  He muttered low enough that she couldn’t hear.


“Nothing, come sit with me.”

After a little while, Claire had fallen asleep with her head in his lap as he rubbed her shoulder and Jensen looked over with relief.  He scooted out from under her and went upstairs to find his phone.  He closed the bedroom door as he found a number.

“Pooch you up?  I need you buddy.”


Pooch opened his front door, his eyes half closed.

He rubbed his eyes as he focused on Jensen.

“Hey man, come in.”  He said, clapping his hand with Jensen’s and giving him a small one armed hug.

“You okay?”

“Were you asleep?”  Jensen asked following him inside.

“Nah man, PJ got up at four.”

“Shit, sorry.”

“What’s up?”

They walked to the kitchen and Pooch pointed to the coffee maker and turned to look at Jensen.  He nodded as he sat down.

“Claire is possessed.  She’s scary man, she was biting my head off a few days ago and then yesterday she was all over me, then I turned her down.

“Whoa whoa, you turned her down?”

“Well I’m exhausted.  I got nothing left!”  He whined.

Pooch handed him his coffee and stood at the counter.  He began to laugh and shake his head.

“You’re so screwed.  She’s going through woman stuff.”

Jolene entered the room with a yawn and waved at Jensen.  He perked up when he saw PJ in her arms and held his hands out wiggling his fingers.  She handed him the baby and then shuffled into the kitchen.

“She has her period.” She said matter of factly.

“Oh.  OH!  Ew.”

Jolene looked up from inside the fridge and flashed him a glare, “Comments like that make me realize why you were alone for so long.”

“Sorry.  She’s a beast though.  Biting my head off one minute, then jumping in my pants the next.

“I know that well, brother.”

“Excuse me?”  Jolene stood up and put her hand on her hip frowning at Pooch.  He moved away from her with a nervous look and sat across from Jensen at the table.

“Just leave her alone for a while, it’ll pass.

“She doesn’t have the plague, fool.  It’s just her period.”  She turned to Jensen, “Want me to call her?”

“No way, she’ll kill me when I get home if you do that.  She keeps asking for hugs and stuff.”

“Do it.  You have a sister, didn’t you go through this when you were growing up around her?”

“No way.  Ew.”

“Would you stop saying ew like that?”

“Would you stop saying period?”

“You know what, give me back my baby.”  She reached over to take PJ back and the baby let out a cry.  She sighed and went back into the kitchen.

“See?  PJ gets me, don’t ya little Pooch.”

Pooch laughed at Jensen and his baby, and ducked at a dish towel Jolene threw at him.

She found a piece of paper and a pencil.   She wrote something down on it before walking over, handing it to Jensen.

“Get her these things.  Do not try to be helpful and improvise.  Follow this list exactly and take everything to her.

“But I’m scared.”

“Grow up Jensen.”  Jolene said laughing.

“Just get what’s on the list.  You army men are such wimps.  You can disarm bombs and chase after drug runners but domestic issues terrify you.  And when are you going to ask her to move in??”

Pooch cleared his throat, “Jolene…”

“Well I want to know!  She’s at your place most of the time anyway.”

Jensen flushed and bounced PJ on his lap smiling at the baby before looking up at Jolene.

She threw up her hands.

“Fine, don’t answer.  Just go take care of her.  She’ll be better tomorrow.”

Pooch nodded in agreement and Jensen stood up, reluctantly handing PJ to Jolene. 

He hoped Claire would still be asleep when he got back.  He didn’t want to upset her any more than she already was.


When he got home, he snuck back in the house quietly.  She was still curled up on the couch sleeping.  He knelt on the floor next to her.

“Claire.  He whispered, rubbing her shoulder.

She stirred and grumbled something and rolled to her back.

“Claire wake up.  I got you some things.”


“I went to the store and got you a few things.”  He said proudly handing the bag to her.

She sat up with curiosity and opened the bag.

“A thermometer?”  She held it up and looked at him perplexed.

“The lady said that you can get warm flashes sometimes so this can help you with that.”

She made a face at the thermometers and dug around in the bag.  She took out a box of pads, ibuprofen, candy bars, a heating pad, a coloring book and crayons, and his army id badge.

She held up the badge, confused.

He looked away nervously.

“Well, I got you me.  I’m gonna take care of you today.”

Claire started sobbing immediately and he jumped back, afraid.

“Jake that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.  I don’t deserve you.”  She cried, gripping his ID.

He shrugged and smiled at her.  “Well you know…”

She leaned over threw her arms around him.

“I’m sorry I was a jerk earlier.  I didn’t mean it all.”

“Well I hope you meant the sexy stuff.”

She nodded and sniffed.  “I did.  I’m really horny.”  She said pathetically.

“You know I love you, I’m just not good with girlie things.  And trust me, when we both are feeling up to it, we’ll take care of your other issue at hand.  He said raising an eyebrow suggestively.

“I know.  You really aren’t that great with girlie things.”  She sniffed and started to laugh.  He rolled his eyes and moved up to the couch, pulling her against him.

“So what do you want to do today?  Anything you want.”

“Sleep.  Lots of cuddles and sleep.”  She said yawning and closing her eyes.

“Oh thank God.”

“What was that?  She asked raising an eyebrow.

“I love you?”

“That’s what I thought.”  She said with a laugh.