What wasn't to love about Gromila? He was strong, tall, part of the coolest group of kids in the city, and very sensible. Well, maybe not too sensible; not sensible at all really, but he could pretend. So why was it that no matter what he did, he couldn't get her to notice him?
Or at least, he couldn't get her to notice his positive traits.
She was perfect. Blonde, shapely, beautiful smile. The kind of girl you wouldn't mind losing a few brain fragments just to say hello to. But it seemed every time he tried to talk to her, she'd brush him off. He couldn't figure it out.
"This one's easy," Patsanka said, pausing to blow a bubble with her gum. The four kids were sat in a Teremok, not buying any food and generally taking up more space than they needed, "she's not into you. Drop it."
Leedyer stood up with his usual enthusiasm, slamming his open palms on the table.
"Grommy, are you just going to give up so quickly?" He asked, cocking his eyebrow. Patsanka rolled her eyes and Melky (the only one who had actually ordered anything) took a long sip of his cider, bracing for the oncoming monologue.
"When we're tossed off the back of trains by the cruel beast known as life, do we give up, dude? When we were arrested for spraypainting a police van, did we sit in a restaurant moaning about it? No! We took it like men... and girl!" He hopped up on the table, the other customers all eyeing them now.
"And dude, if this girl won't give you the time of day, are you gonna go home and cry and marathon romantic comedies? No no no! So what do we do when things aren't going our way?"
Standing in the out-of-the way shop, eyeing the merchandise and otherwise stalling, Gromila was hesitant to ring the bell. After they were kicked out of the restaurant he had headed directly there to see the good doctor, but now he was having second thoughts.
Reservations aside, the shopkeeper appeared from his back room after a few moments, holding a mummified paw in his hands warily before finally tossing it behind him.
"Ah, it's you," the Lanky fellow began, peering over his tinted glasses, "my favourite customer. You know, it's rare for me to get repeat customers, but what brings you here today?"
"Kinda got a problem..."
"And what kinda problem?"
"Well, of course." He leaned his chin in his gloved hands, "but I'll need you to elaborate."
"I've got girl troubles, I need her to like me."
"Well that's easy, you should have come here sooner." He reached under the counter and pulled out a small vial of pink liquid, covered in dust. He blew the dust off and slid it over to Gromila, "This is genuine love potion. It's imported. It won't do all the work, but it'll help you along." hr>
Big fluffy cupcakes, decorated with little fondant hearts and pink buttercream icing. It had been the fruits of an afternoons labour for Gromila, who now stood at the exit of the train station, waiting for his dream girl to show up. During the long wait he was half tempted to eat them himself, but who knows what sort of potion related paradoxical effect it would have on him.
Finally she arrived, like an angel appearing before mortals. Gromila approached her and tapped her shoulder.
"Huh?" she turned around, "Oh."
"You're probably very busy, but I would like you to try these."
The blonde rolled here eyes, but she had missed lunch that day because of work and was very hungry, so she reluctantly accepted and took one from the container. Gromila watched her expectantly as she took a bite, and....
spat it out.
"Are you trying to poison me? Jesus!" she tossed the rest of the cupcake on the ground and stomped off angrily. hr>
"Here's the problem," Leedyer said, eyeing the vial, "this is cologne."
The quartet was gathered in Gromila's apartment, trying to figure out what exactly had gone wrong. Patsanka was sprawled on the couch, smiling smugly to herself. Melky took a bite of one of the remaining cupcakes and gagged,
"Yeah, it's the same kind my dad uses," he added, spitting into a napkin.
"Oh." Gromila's face went bright red. What a misunderstanding. This probably set him back a few good years with Blondie, "so what now?"
"Why don't we go to the overpass and chuck the rest of these at oncoming traffic?" Leedyer suggested.