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Vlad Strikes Again

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Aaron doesn’t consider himself a cat person; he thinks they can be sneaky.  He’s much more comfortable with dogs who wear their hearts on their sleeves (so to speak).

But Spencer has a cat, so Aaron will learn to love Vlad – or at least tolerate him.  Basically, that’s as much as Vlad has agreed to do, too.  He’s part Siamese and part something else and one of those parts is just nasty.  Spencer adopted Vlad from the Humane Society about two years ago.  Vlad is about seven years old and while Spencer originally went in for a kitten, he decided to take Vlad (who was called Timmy when he was there) because he’d been up for adoption for a few months and Spencer felt bad for him.   Apparently, he was up for adoption for so long because he was not very friendly to potential parents.  But he took to Spencer right away, sitting on his lap, purring and chewing on Spencer’s fingers; hence the name.  And he’s even convinced Spencer that it’s cute that he still chews on him.

Aaron, however, gets none of that.  When they’re at Spencer’s house, Vlad tries to sit in between them and if he can’t, he sits as close to Spencer as possible.  Aaron has been seeing Spencer for almost six months and Vlad still hisses at him when Aaron walks past him.  But he’s sneaky enough that he doesn’t pull that crap when Spencer is watching.  So Spencer leaves the bedroom and Vlad jumps on the dresser and stares at Aaron and growls.  Then “daddy” comes back to bed and Vlad walks over Aaron to curl up next to Spencer.

“You don’t mind, do you, Aaron?” Spencer asks, petting the cat who glares and shows Aaron his teeth.

“Of course not, he stays on your side after all,” Aaron replies with a forced smile. 

When Aaron is in the bathroom, Vlad shoves the door open and sits on the sink or toilet staring at Aaron.  Aaron watches the door while shaving since Vlad jumped up on the sink once startling Aaron into cutting himself.  He has no proof, but he’s pretty sure that Vlad planned that.

Vlad steals his ties, chews on his shoe laces and the little beast pissed in his go-bag.  Thankfully it was after a trip and everything had to go to the laundry anyway, but seriously? 

Of course Vlad swipes at Aaron’s ankles whenever possible and then when Spencer asks him “Vlad?  Did you just hit Aaron?” Vlad just shrugs and says “No, of course not! He’s insane, he imagines things, let’s kill him.”

Aaron keeps a large towel handy for when he gets out of the shower because he’s seen the way Vlad looks at him naked and Aaron is taking no chances having his penis mistaken for a toy.  Not that Vlad would mistake it – he’d go after it intentionally.

Aaron is careful to lock his gun in Spencer’s gun safe when he comes over because the one time he didn’t do it immediately, he found Vlad sniffing at it.  Spencer said he probably smells the gun oil, but Aaron has his doubts.  Of course Spencer thinks Aaron is over-reacting, saying “He’s a cat, Aaron.  No opposable thumbs, remember?”  Which really doesn’t say that Vlad doesn’t want to, just that he can’t.

So the first time Aaron brought Jack over for dinner at Spencer’s he was nervous for a lot of reasons.   Spencer has been at Aaron’s when Jack was there and they thought it would be good for Jack to see Spencer’s home.  Jack was getting a little jealous, and they want to be sure that he knows that Spencer has his own home and keep things slow.  Jack’s a little possessive with his only parent and that’s understandable.  So if Jack goes to Spencer’s now and then and Spencer makes his killer mac and cheese and they have Oreos and milk for dessert, it’ll help calm everything down.

Aaron told Spencer that Jack isn’t familiar with cats and since Vlad can be a little wild (aka he’s evil), maybe they should lock him in Spencer’s bedroom.  Spencer said that Jack should see Spencer’s life in his apartment to understand that he has his own life and isn’t immediately moving into theirs.  And no, his cat was here first, and besides Aaron is paranoid that Vlad is an assassin and Vlad is just a sweet kitty-cat.

Aaron brings Jack in, Spencer says hello and Jack sees Vlad sitting on the couch and makes a bee-line for him.  Aaron is ready to call 911, but Vlad sits up and smells the boy and lets Jack pet him and Vlad rests his head on Jack’s leg and Jack tells Spencer what a pretty kitty he has and the evening goes great.  Spencer’s rating goes up ten points because he has such a nice, sweet kitty. 

Of course on the way out, Vlad tries to trip Aaron and bites his ankle, but Vlad likes Jack.  Aaron loves Jack and he might be falling in love with Spencer, so it looks like he and Vlad will need to make peace. 

But Aaron is keeping all sharp knives in closed drawers.  He’s in love, he’s not stupid.