It’s been two weeks since the big show down and nobody is okay, Stiles doubts that anybody will ever be truly okay again or that anything will be truly okay again but they have to move on. They have to keep going, taking every day one step at a time but it’s so damn hard. It’s hard to wake up in the morning when your entire body hurts, when every bone is aching with pain and regret and it’s so much easier to just bury your head into your pillows forgetting the rest of the world exists.
But he has to get up, he has to wake up, he has to put on his clothes and get himself together like he does every single day. He has to fix his dad breakfast, hug him, before they go their separate ways, so tightly that he’s afraid that if lets go even for a second then he’ll ever see his father again. He then has to proceed to walk into school, plastering a smile on his face so that his friends don’t know he’s falling apart; because the truth is they’re all falling apart.
But no one talks about it, no one talks about the horrible things Deucalion made Scott do before they were able to kill Deucalion. No one talks about watching Derek hold a bloody and lifeless Cora in his arms, howling in the sky demanding she come back. No one talks about watching Peter have to beat Derek unconscious just so he could pry Cora’s body out of his grasps in order to give her a proper burial. No one talks about how the Sheriff was in a coma for a week straight after nearly dying.
No one talks about how Isaac almost died so that he could protect Mr. Argent or how the twins finally turned against Deucalion risking their own lives in the process. No one talks about how Danny had to find out what his boyfriend really was or his part in helping kill Boyd and as a result Danny slapping him and crying for hours. No one talks about how Lydia was tortured by Jennifer in hopes to being used as leverage. No one talks about how Stiles was the one to find Lydia and risked his life in order to save her.
No one talks about how none of them are okay after everything that happened that none of them know how to be teenagers again when they were forced to grow up so quickly. So they all sit together in the cafeteria laughing at stories and pretending like they’re all okay, because deep down they just can’t seem to bring themselves to talk about it.
Because life goes on, the damage is done and they’ve realized that the best way in dealing with the nightmares is by not admitting that they exist. As if Stiles is the only one who wakes up in the middle of the night screaming, drenched in sweat trying to save Derek’s life. Trying to save Cora’s life, or Lydia’s life, or Scott’s life or even his own. No, no Stiles is not the only one who’s struggling, but he is the only one who won’t allow Derek to do it alone.
You see after Cora died, Derek blamed all of this on himself. He was moody, and depressed and easily angered and so everyone was forced to walk on egg shells around the guy until they stopped talking to Derek completely. They were afraid of what Derek might say or what he might do and with their being 3 new alphas hanging around all the time there was too much tension and hostility in the room.
So Stiles took it upon himself to over to Derek’s loft every day, after school he would go straight home cook dinner then bring some of it in containers for Derek. The first time Stiles did it, Derek thought he was crazy and tried to force him out before finally caving and eating it with a frown. Now it becomes expected, it’s like a routine that they’ve established but they never talk. Honestly Stiles wouldn’t even know where to begin.
But for some reason today is different. Today at school Stiles learned that Scott and Derek got into a fight because Scott and Allison refused to tell him that Gerard was still alive. Stiles didn’t even know Gerard was still alive so Scott told him everything, including everything Gerard said about being responsible for the alpha pack.
Stiles was angry that Scott and Allison both kept this from him, maybe if Deucalion knew where Gerard was the entire time then he would have left Derek alone, thus not killing Boyd and could have just went for vengeance instead. So when Stiles learned that Derek almost tore Allison apart he knew then that Derek had crossed a line, a very thin line but still a line that shouldn’t be crossed.
So he went over to confront Derek and found a very broody Alpha opening the door.
“You don’t have any food!” Derek gritted out opening the door frowning even harder.
“No shit, and you don’t have any self-control.” Stiles replied pushing passed Derek to pace back and forth.
“You’re still alive aren’t you? I say that’s some self-control.” Stiles stopped pacing to glare at Derek.
“What the hell is your problem? You attacked Allison and Scott and that is not cool man not at all. Fuck! Derek do you think you’re the only one going through right now? That you’re the only one who is hurting?” asked Stiles who was staring Derek with anger in his eyes but also softness.
“I’m the only one who had a sister two weeks ago but no longer does.” Derek simply replied back clinching his fists.
“But Scott and Allison didn’t kill Cora.”
Derek was silent for a while and Stiles shifted uncomfortably.
“I blamed myself for Jennifer as soon as you told me she was the Darach I blamed myself. Then when we were in the elevator she told me that by me killing Paige and her blood dripping on the tree I was able to bring Jennifer back to life. I literally created the Darach Stiles, and because of the Darach all this shit happened, so yes I blamed myself even more.
‘Then Cora died because of her, and that’s on me, but when I found out what Gerard did I realized that none of this was my fault but it was his entire fault. It was his fault for tricking and torturing Deucalion and making Deucalion the vicious monster that he is today. And Allison knew he was alive the entire time, her father knew he was alive the entire time they were hiding this monster and Scott didn’t say a damn thing. It’s their fault and Scott’s fault and I hate them for it.”
Derek stopped talking to watch as Stiles got closer. Stiles was angry that Derek was deflecting the real problem, whatever issues Derek had Stiles knows it’s not with Scott and Isaac he just needs a scapegoat for his emotions. Stiles knows this, because he does the same thing.
“Am I mad that Scott kept a secret? Yes. But you’re not so mister innocent either now are you? You keep secrets like a fucking diary Derek, where did you think Scott learned it from? And Cora died because of your girlfriend, because you allowed Jennifer into your life without second guessing yourself. I would think after Kate killing your entire family you’d more hesitant but I guess you’d do anything for a pretty face and easy fuck”
Derek couldn’t control it, everything Stiles was saying true but what made it worse was the fact that it was Stiles saying those things. Stiles has never blamed Derek since they’ve gotten to know each other and for Stiles to see him like this just hurts so to make it stop, he did what he could do and slapped Stiles right across the face.
“You slapped me?” Stiles asked shocked, stunned, hurt, and holding his cheek.
“Just go Stiles, everything you said about me is true I’m no good for anyone that includes you so just go.” Derek simply said and turned his back on the boy.
“No.” Derek turned around noticed Stiles was staring at him face to face and when did he get so close?
“What?” Derek gritted out trying to intimidate.
“I said No!” Stiles hit Derek hard on his chest. “You fucking asshole you hit me! Why the fuck would you do that? Are you trying to push me away like you did to Scott and Allison and Isaac? Are you trying to remain alone for the rest of your life so you can slowly kill yourself by being consumed with all your self- loathe and guilt? You are a fucking asshole and I hate you so much Derek Hale.”
Stiles kept hitting Derek, trying to release all his anger, and his fears out on Derek’s chest.
“Stiles stop hitting me.” Derek tried to catch the flailing arms.
“No. You son of a bitch I’m right aren’t I? You’re trying to push us all away and it worked on them but it won’t work on me. We’ve been walking on egg shells around you for two weeks and nobody will even mention your name anymore, you attacked Scott and Allison and now you’re pushing me away too. Well guess what Derek I’ve seen your face. I know who you are when you’re the alpha and I know who you are when you’re a parent to Isaac, when you’re a nephew to Peter, when you’re a brother to Cora, but most importantly I know who you are when you’re simply Derek Hale. So don’t try that with me.”
Stiles kept hitting but he was getting tired and his body was beginning to go limp.
“God you are the most infuriating person I have ever met. You never stop talking, you never stop coming around even when you aren’t wanted or coming back for me even if in the elevator you still came back. Why do you keep coming back? Fuck Stiles!”
And Stiles’ hands were now being pinned up against the wall as he was being pushed back. Somehow his legs found themselves around Derek’s waist and they were kissing. It should have been weird, it should have been alarming but for some reason it made sense; some reason it felt so damn good.
The kiss started off hesitant but then Stiles opened up his mouth and Derek’s tongue found its way in, licking and massaging Stiles’ tongue right back. Before they knew it lips were being nibbled, teeth were clashing against the other. Stiles was grinding his aching cock against Derek’s erection and god it just felt so right.
When Derek pulled back so they both could breathe they looked at each other, really looked at each other and both thought the other looked so beautiful. Both of their faces were
flushed and both of them had swollen lips and Stiles hopped down so he could brush a gentle hand on Derek’s cheek and whispered.
“This is why I keep coming back, I come back for you.”
Nobody needed to say anything else, they both understood.