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The Happiest Birthday

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Saturday, December 2, 2017

It didn't take long to reach the bus stop nearest the bakery, which was a good thing, because Kuya-san kept squirming around in his seat like he was about to explode with excitement. He'd stayed quiet during the ride, staring out the window as if fascinated by the landscape, though I was sure he'd seen it many times before. As we climbed out of the bus, struggling to get his overstuffed suitcase down the stairs, I finally asked.

"Um, Kuya-san, why were you staring out the window like that?"

"Oh, that?" He smiled broadly. "I was memorizing the way to your house, of course!"

The suitcase came to rest on the sidewalk with a low thump. I reached up to brush a hint of sweat from my brow. "But... you don't need to do that. All you need to do is remember which bus stop to use, right? The route's always the same."

"O... oh... that's right." Kuya-san's smile faded for a moment, then returned in full force. "But! If I need to come here directly, without the bus, then I'll know the way!"

"Hehe, I guess that's true." I tugged on the suitcase, thankful that it had little wheels on the bottom so we wouldn't have to carry it. Just how much stuff did Kuya-san pack? It's only an overnight visit... "Come on, it's less than a block in this direction!"

"Yuki, you don't have to pull the suitcase! I'll get it! Your job is to lead the way!" Kuya-san grabbed the strap on the side and gave it a little tug. "Let's go!"

Hehe, Kuya-san, you're way too excited... My cheeks pinked, not from the cold.


"I'm home!" I announced to no one at all, pushing open the door at the back entrance of the bakery. Well, there was no one there to greet us, because the real entrance was at the top of a tall flight of stairs that led to the living area on top of the bakery. We hurried inside, away from the winter wind.

"Oh man, the smell inside is ten times stronger than when we walked past the front door!" Kuya-san's eyes went rounder than usual as the wall of delicious smells hit him, an amazing combination of the breads and pastries from the bakery plus the scent of Mom's cooking. I raised my head a little, sniffing at the air.

"Mmm, I think my mom's making seafood doria, my favorite!"

My stomach growled as if to confirm it. Kuya-san giggled. "That's my Yuki!"

"Hehe." I rubbed at the back of my head self-consciously. "Er, Kuya-san... how are we going to get your suitcase all the way up these stairs?"

Before Kuya-san could open his mouth, the door at the top of the steps burst open and a cheery voice called down, "Yuki, is that you? You're right on time, your mom just pulled an insanely delicious seafood doria out of the oven!"

"Dad!" I straightened up, intending to bounce up the stairs to greet him, but he was already halfway down, grinning wildly. He crashed into me at full force - which wasn't all that much, since Dad wasn't much bigger than me - and hugged me tight. "U, ugh, Dad, that's too tight..."

"Haha, but I'm happy to see you, it's been way too long since you've come home! You're not working too hard at that fancy school now, are you?" Dad finally released me and stepped back, patting my shoulders. "Hmm, doesn't seem like you've grown any yet..."

Before I could protest, he turned to Kuya-san, still grinning. "So, you must be Kuya-kun! Nice to meet you, I'm Asahina Kenta, a humble baker and father to that eating machine." He jerked his thumb in my direction, but continued speaking, not even allowing Kuya-san a chance to respond. "Big suitcase for such a short stay! Well, that's no problem, there's plenty of space, and it's always better to be overprepared rather than underprepared! Let's get this up to Yuki's room, okay?"

Kuya-san blushed. "Ah, wait, I can--"

"I got it!" Dad reached down and picked up the suitcase like it was filled with air, hoisting it up and over his head as he charged back up the stairs, not slowed in the slightest by his burden.

Kuya-san stared at his retreating back. "How on earth...?"

"Oh, Dad's always lugging huge sacks of flour around and kneading tons of bread, so a suitcase is nothing to him. You can't tell right now because he's wearing long sleeves, but his arms are really buff. It's kinda scary, actually..." I started up the stairs, motioning for Kuya-san to follow. "Sorry if he talks too much, Dad's super friendly and if he gets excited, it's hard to get a word in."

But Kuya-san's eyes were shining as we walked up the steps together. "No, it's wonderful! Now I understand where you got your bold personality! He seems like such an exciting person!"

"Haha, I don't know about that... but Dad really is a lot of fun to be around."

The door at the top of the stairs was slightly ajar, and the closer we got, the more intense the smells of dinner became. By the time we came inside, took off our winter coats, and bent to take off our shoes in the entrance, my stomach was seriously threatening to eat itself. Kuya-san stifled a snort. A moment later, Mom poked her head out of the kitchen and waved to us. "There you are! Don't hesitate, come right in, dinner is fresh out of the oven and the table's already set!"

She disappeared before either of us could respond, and Kuya-san leaned close to me to whisper, "Yuki... your mom looks just like you. She even has the same cowlicks!"

"Wha? That's not true!" I reached up, instinctively trying to flatten the hair sticking up from the top of my head, even though it was useless. "Why does everyone say I look like Mom?"

"Because you do," Dad laughed as he returned from the hallway leading to the bedrooms. "Well, you should be happy about it, your mom's a hottie." He winked at me and Kuya-san.

My face turned bright red. "Daaaad! Don't be so embarrassing!"

"Are you boys going to stand around in the hallway, or are you going to come eat?" Mom yelled from the kitchen. "Geez, I never thought I'd have to invite Yuki, of all people, to come to the table more than once!"

Kuya-san was openly giggling as the three of us obediently headed into the kitchen and settled down around the dining table. The center of the table was already crowded, with the large baking dish full of delicious smelling doria flanked by Mom's favorite tea set on one side, and an overflowing basket of dinner rolls on the other. The places were already set, and I noted that Mom had put out the plates that were normally saved for special occasions like birthdays and the new year. Well, it was Kuya-san's birthday, after all. Their warm welcome made my heart flutter a bit.

"Um, hold on a minute," I said as Dad reached for the serving spoon. "We haven't done formal introductions yet."

"Oh, that's right!" Mom pressed one hand to her lips with a quiet giggle and turned toward Kuya-san. "Sorry about that, I was so excited that I completely forgot! I'm Asahina Aya, Yuki's mom and I guess you could call me an apprentice baker! I help out in the bakery most days, and I spend most of my time in the front helping customers, but sometimes I get to sneak into the back and get in the master's way as he bakes!" She leaned toward Dad, nudging him with her shoulder.

"Ah, I already introduced myself before," Dad smiled at Kuya-san, "but once more won't hurt. Asahina Kenta, I escaped the corporate world about ten years ago to open a bakery. Best decision I ever made - aside from marrying this girl." He poked Mom with his elbow, and she giggled again. "Anyway, like I always tell Yuki, follow your dreams and your heart, and you'll be happy."

"Follow your heart, hmm..." Kuya-san murmured, then nodded. "That's great advice! Oh, before I forget, let me introduce--"

I put one hand on Kuya-san's shoulder. "Let me."

His eyes went wide. "Yuki...?"

I gave his shoulder a squeeze and smiled, then pulled my hand back to my lap. "Mom, Dad, this is Sagimori Kuya-san, a third year at BL School and the student council vice president. He's also a world-class fencer, a genius who's fluent in over ten languages, and..." I hesitated for just a moment, heart pounding as my stomach flip-flopped. "And... my boyfriend."

Everything suddenly got very still. My shoulders tensed, and I snuck a peek at Kuya-san. His eyes were wider than before, cheeks darkened by a deep blush, but his lips were curled up slightly at the corners, and I knew he was trying to hold back a huge smile.

Hehe... maybe I should have warned Kuya-san first... but I wanted to surprise him. He looks so happy...

Dad was the first to recover. "Yuki... you never said anything about liking guys before." He didn't look upset or mad or anything, just surprised.

Still, I couldn't help wondering if springing the news on everyone hadn't been the smartest idea. "U, um... well, I didn't know before. I didn't know who I liked or anything like that. I've never been in love before."

I heard Kuya-san gulp beside me. Mom and Dad were silent, eyes wide and mouths slightly open, unable to form any words.

I... really messed up, didn't I? I fidgeted in my seat, suddenly very aware that everyone else was staring at me. "Uh, is it... a problem?"

After a long pause, Mom said, "Well, maybe a little..."

I swallowed hard. "R, really?"

"Because! I thought the two of you could just sleep in your room, but if you're dating, I don't really think that's a good idea." Mom's eyes flicked to Kuya-san. "Well, you're two healthy young men. I'm not going to pretend that things don't happen."

My face exploded in flame. "Mooooom!" I'm definitely not going to admit that we haven't been able to stop being embarrassed long enough to make any real progress...

"Isn't it fine, Aya? I mean, Yuki and Kuya-kun are attending the same boarding school. They've had plenty of opportunities to, er, sleep over together. I'm sure we can trust two fine young men who attend Bell Liberty to act like gentlemen while they're visiting family, right?" Dad grinned at us.

Mom made a face. "I guess you're right. But Yuki!" Her eyes bored into mine. "Only one of you gets to sleep in the bed, the other one will be in a futon on the floor. Got it?"

I nodded meekly. "Yeah, alright..."

"And you, Kuya-kun." Mom's piercing gaze went to Kuya-san's face.

He gulped, a completely different sound from the happy sound he'd made in response to my declaration. "Y, yes, Mrs. Asahina!"

Mom's expression softened into a sly smile. "I guess Yuki didn't tell you he was going to introduce you as his boyfriend? Though I'm a little surprised you aren't used to Yuki just blurting out stuff like that already. Or has he been behaving himself around his upperclassman?"

"Ah, no! I mean, yes!" Kuya-san's shoulders were all stiff, and I was sure he was beginning to sweat. "I mean... Yuki and I spend a lot of time together! Uh, not like that! In the student council! We do all the student council activities together, with the other members too, uh..."

Mom giggled again. "Oh dear, you don't have to be so nervous. No one here is going to bite you." Her eyes flicked to me. "I mean, unless Yuki's into that sort of thing, I guess."

"Mooooom!" I turned to Dad, desperate. "Dad, make Mom stop already!"

Dad was usually the worst enabler, but even he was looking somewhat embarrassed. "Hey, Aya, tone it down a little. You're embarrassing them too much. You do want Yuki to visit more than once a year, right?" He turned toward Kuya-san. "Sorry, Kuya-kun, honestly, I think we're a little surprised and excited. We both end up teasing too much."

Though Kuya-san was blushing, his smile was bright as he nodded. "It's okay! And now I know where Yuki gets it from!"

Ugh, Kuya-san, I don't go that far, do I...?

Mom sighed. "Sorry, boys, it's just... pretty exciting. Yuki's never dated anyone before. Honestly, I was starting to wonder if he was a late bloomer, or just not interested or something. Anyway," she elbowed Dad with a smug smile, "I told you so."

"Huh, you told me what?"

"That Yuki liked guys. He's always commented on guys and their bodies, ever since he was a kid. Hardly ever a peep about the ladies, though."

Somehow, my face got even redder. Beside me, Kuya-san coughed, and I was sure he was remembering that evening after the ball tournament, when we'd gone to the public bath along with Takato-san and Tomo, and I'd asked everyone about strength training. U, ugh... have I really been that obvious since I was a kid? That's so embarrassing...

My stomach growled, rescuing us from the awkward conversation. Dad laughed a bit too loudly, seizing upon the chance to change the subject. "Enough chit-chat, it's time to eat!"


"Hehe, this cake is really great," I sighed, setting aside the plate, a few lonely crumbs and a smear of frosting all that remained of the slice I'd brought up to my room as a bedtime snack. "I'll definitely sleep soundly after that!"

Kuya-san was lying on my bed wearing the same green star-patterned pajamas he'd been wearing that first night we'd slept cuddled together. He rolled over from his back to his belly to peer at my face. "Yuki, you have a bit of frosting here." His warm fingertip brushed my cheek, and he paused just long enough to show me the little blob of chocolate before bringing it to his own lips. "Yeah, it's even sweeter when it's been on your cheek!"

"K, Kuya-san, don't say such embarrassing things..."

"But I'm so happy!" His wide grin was so bright and warm it made my chest ache. "Getting to spend time with you and your family on my birthday, being introduced as your boyfriend..." His voice faded a bit as his cheeks darkened. "I was really surprised, you know! But it was a great surprise! I was so relieved, your parents didn't mind at all, and I felt so relaxed after that, like we didn't have to try and keep it a secret or anything!"

I thought back to earlier that day, when Takato-san had scolded us for acting romantic in front of the school gates. "Hehe, Kuya-san, I'm not sure we even could keep it a secret for very long..."

"Buuut!" He actually rolled around on the bed as he continued, "It was so nice! And your mom's seafood doria was the best I've ever had! Your dad's bread was amazing too! I've eaten bread from tons of different countries, and those whole wheat rolls were just as good as stuff from an old French bakery! And the cake!" Kuya-san stopped rolling and stared me right in the eyes, suddenly very serious. "Yuki, I might kill a man for that cake. It was so good it was morally wrong."

"Um, that's exaggerating a bit, I think... well, I mean, that is the same cake from the story Dad told you..." My face turned red as I remembered, but Kuya-san just laughed and began rolling again.

"It's so like you, Yuki! Eating an entire birthday cake all by yourself, of course you'd do something so cute! Ah, I'm so happy your parents showed me those photo albums and told me all those stories!" He paused again, this time on his back. "And... they said to call them Mom and Dad, I can't believe it. I never imagined they'd be so nice to me."

"My parents have always been really nice, Kuya-san, didn't I tell you not to worry? Look, they're even letting us stay in the same room, so you don't have to be alone in a strange place."

"But it's not a strange place! It's the place you grew up in!" Kuya-san flipped onto his stomach again, resting his chin on the very edge of the mattress as he peered at me from only centimeters away. I blushed, realizing that if I leaned forward, he was close enough to kiss. My pulse quickened like it always did when Kuya-san was so close, his smiling face the most beautiful thing in the world.

For a few moments, the room was so quiet I could hear the ticking of my old alarm clock.

"Yuki," Kuya-san's whisper felt loud in the still air, his voice dry and serious, "thank you so much. I've honestly never had a happier birthday. All the exotic places in the world can't compare to..."

His voice fell away, eyes dropping shut. I tilted my head. "Kuya-san...?"

When his eyes opened again, they were rimmed with bright tears. "I, I've always wished that someday, someone would want to be with a sad, lonely, pathetic person like me. That one day, someone would understand that I just wanted to belong... that I wanted to be..."

My heart broke along with Kuya-san's voice as he choked on the last word.


His brows drew together, eyes squeezing shut and freeing two glittering tears. Instinctively I reached out to brush them away, but that only made things worse, and Kuya-san's shoulders trembled as a quiet sob escaped his wobbly lips. "Yuki," he sniffled, "thank you. Really, truly, thank you... this is the best day ever. I'm so happy right now I can't stand it..."

"But you're crying, Kuya-san, don't cry." For every tear I wiped from his cheeks, two more took their place. "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, you don't ever have to cry again!"

No good. It was no good, the tears just kept coming, leaving gleaming tracks on Kuya-san's flushed skin. No amount of petting or encouragement would stop them.

There was only one solution.

I leaned forward, closing the gap between us, and pressed my mouth firmly to his. In that brief instant, all sorts of information flooded my senses: the familiar softness of his warm lips, the salty wetness of his tears, the way his body tensed at my touch, the sudden calming of his frantic breathing. After a few seconds, I pulled back, just enough to reach up and sweep my thumb over Kuya-san's cheek, wiping teardrops away. Another one quickly took its place, so I leaned in again to kiss it away.


"You don't ever have to cry again, Kuya-san," I repeated, kissing a tear from his other cheek. "You don't have to be lonely anymore. I'm not going anywhere."

"Really?" His voice was small, like he was a child who wasn't sure what to believe.

"I promise. I'll always love you."

"Always?" Kuya-san sounded nothing like the cool, confident upperclassman he seemed to be on the surface. Everyone liked his bright and cheerful exterior, even if they thought it was a little weird, and Kuya-san had tons of friends all over the world. But that wasn't all there was to the real Kuya-san. Inside, he was awkward and sad and lonely, always feeling like an outsider who could never truly belong anywhere. Even when he gathered the courage to reach out and share his deepest feelings, people would misunderstand his intent. He'd been rejected. He'd been hurt.

My chest tightened as I remembered how close I'd come to doing the same. How many times had Kuya-san tried to share his feelings with me, encouraged by my unconscious attraction and flirting? I couldn't be sure how many times I'd thoughtlessly rejected him, never realizing that he wanted me to be more than a friend in the student council.

I only realized at the very last moment. My feelings were a mess and I didn't really understand, but somehow I found the answer. My vision blurred. I could have pushed away the most important person in the world without ever realizing what I'd lost.

"Yuki?" Kuya-san's small voice brought me back to myself. He'd been waiting for my answer.

"Always!" I wiped away the gathering tears, but more took their place. "I won't let you be alone ever again, not now and not ever. Here, let me come up there, I want to hug you." I leaned back on my heels and stood, climbing up onto the bed. Kuya-san quickly made space for me, scooting up so his head was on one of the pillows, and the moment I settled down on top of the blanket, his strong arms were around me, his face buried in my shoulder.

"Yuki... I'm not sad, really, I'm so happy I can't stand it, but I can't calm down."

That was just like Kuya-san, getting so tangled up in his own emotions that he couldn't figure out what he was trying to express. I turned my head and kissed the top of his head, smiling as his hair tickled my lips. For a while, we stayed like that, Kuya-san snuggled against me while I rained kisses down on every part of him I could reach, his head, his temple, his ear. His body slowly relaxed against mine, the last of his quiet sniffles replaced by soft sighs of contentment.

And maybe something else. Kuya-san pulled back a little to look directly into my eyes, his intense look making me shiver a little. "Yuki..."

My eyes dropped shut as I leaned in for the anticipated kiss, but it didn't happen. I opened my eyes with a little questioning noise. "Hm?"

"W, well..." Kuya-san shifted around on top of the blanket, like he was trying to slip out of my arms. "Your mom said we can't..."

"Oh, that?" My lips curled into a mischievous smile. "Mom also said that these things happen."

Kuya-san blushed so deeply that even his ears turned red, but he didn't protest at all when I leaned close to claim the kiss I'd been denied only a few moments earlier. It started as a sweet kiss - it always did - but Kuya-san's lips were so warm and inviting, and after a few seconds I found myself sucking at the soft skin and pressing forward with my tongue. There were only a few moments of hesitation before his lips parted, tip of his tongue flicking out to touch mine. I seized upon the chance and pushed my tongue into the familiar warmth of his mouth, smiling at the quiet sigh that escaped from Kuya-san's nose.

We kissed. We'd been kissing for months, never really daring to progress beyond that point, to reach the steps that climbed beyond. Every time we had the opportunity to do more, it seemed like something or someone interrupted, and the intrusion broke the spell that protected us from thinking too deeply about what we were doing. And once we were caught getting excited, well, it was hard to stay excited, even if the interruption went away...

I don't want that, I thought, probably for the millionth time since I'd started dating Kuya-san. I want to experience all of love with you. I'm greedy, Kuya-san, I want everything...

My free arm wrapped around Kuya-san's waist, my hand resting on the small of his back, toying with the hem of his pajama shirt. In response, his hand fiddled with my shirt as well, hand boldly slipping up and under to touch my skin directly. I grunted quietly, sucking on his tongue. That only encouraged him more, and nimble fingers danced up my spine, making my hair stand on end. I felt Kuya-san smile against my lips, and he petted me more firmly, fingertips tracing the muscles of my back.

Muscles... My face warmed as the image of Kuya-san's bare back came to the forefront of my mind. My body wasn't anything special, but Kuya-san was a world-class fencer, his slim and athletic form hard with muscle that made my mouth go dry when I watched him change in the morning. It was like I couldn't tear my eyes from the effortless play of muscle beneath his smooth skin, remembering the comfort of his strength. Every time he hugged me tight, every time his long legs tangled with mine, I was excited by the weight and heat of his well-trained body.

Just like now, I thought in a daze, sliding my hand up the back of his shirt, confirming it. My fingers crawled up his back to touch his ribs, his spine, and I pressed my palm flat against his back to pull him closer. Kuya-san made a muffled sound that was more of a groan than a sigh, and the hand on my back went to my hip, squeezing.

Your hips are so cute, Yuki! That's what Kuya-san was always saying. It was kind of embarrassing, but I didn't mind. I didn't care where or how Kuya-san touched me. As long as I could feel the warmth of his hands, I was happy.

That the hands that gripped the hilt of a foil with such power could touch my body so carefully had come as a surprise. Kuya-san was always gentle, always asking if something felt good or if I wanted him to touch me somewhere else. Even now, his thumb traced the hollow of my hip so gently that I wanted to cry at how much he treasured me. At the same time, my heart raced with excitement, knowing that eventually Kuya-san would grow a little more bold, letting his thumb wander closer to my groin. We rarely touched each other directly, not there, but of course we wanted to.

I pulled my lips from Kuya-san's with a sigh, but before he could protest, I buried my face against the side of his neck and licked behind his ear. He made a little choked sound, then a quiet gasp as I sucked at the sensitive spot. I knew exactly where to press to get the best reaction, a hot blush and a wave of goosebumps that sent a shiver down his back.

"Hehe," I breathed, slipping my hand down his smooth back, his cute reaction making me feel bold enough to slip my fingertips into the elastic at the top of his pajama pants.

Kuya-san squirmed as I let my fingers brush over his tailbone. "Yuki!" he gasped, hips twitching forward.

We both froze for an instant, brains racing to process the information. We're both kinda hard...

As usual, Kuya-san attempted to pull his hips away, but I pressed my hand more firmly against his back, tilting my own hips forward. "Kuya-san," I panted, "I don't... I don't want to stop this time..."


I moved away from his ear, pulling back just enough to look directly into his eyes. As expected, his face was completely red, but maybe not all of that was embarrassment, and though his eyes drifted away a couple of times, he eventually held my gaze. "Kuya-san, please, I want to... I want to make you feel good. I love you so much, I want to..." I squirmed a little. "Please, Kuya-san, let's take this next step together. I'm ready now." I pressed my hips forward, rubbing myself against Kuya-san's body, confirming that he really was just as aroused as me.

His eyes squeezed half-shut with a sigh. "Y, Yuki..."

Every time we tried to take that next step, something happened. We'd get caught by someone, or the phone would ring, or we'd simply get overwhelmed with embarrassment and the mood would be ruined. I knew Kuya-san was disappointed that I didn't want to continue once the distractions were gone, but he never pushed me. He always held back, forcing a cheery smile and commenting that things would happen naturally at the right time. A cage of kindness, that's what Takato-san had called it, and the more time I spent with Kuya-san, the more I understood those words.

Maybe Kuya-san had chosen to lock himself away, but I was the one holding the door shut when he wanted to escape. I was the one who was afraid to take the next step, worried that our relationship would be forever changed. But change didn't have to mean something bad. After all, we wouldn't be going out now if we hadn't changed our relationship from friends to lovers, right?

"You don't have to hold back, Kuya-san. I'm ready," I repeated.

His tongue poked out to moisten his lips, and suddenly Kuya-san's expression went from hesitant to determined, the gentle light in his eyes transformed into heat. "Yeah. Let's take the next step, Yuki."

My response was a kiss, gentle for a moment, but it grew hot and deep in an instant as Kuya-san grasped my hip with a firm hand, pulling himself closer. His arousal pressed against mine, the heat of it apparent even through multiple layers of clothing. My heart thudded in my chest at the jolt of excitement that raced up my spine and made my scalp tingle.

Please, luck or god or anyone, don't let anything interrupt us this time, I prayed.

It was hard to kiss Kuya-san with our bodies rocking against each other, but we still tried, wet lips sliding past each other as we panted quietly. Half of my attempted kisses landed on his cheek or his chin, and even with my arm wrapped firmly around his back, I couldn't hold myself still enough to aim properly. I gave up on that and pushed my face against the side of his neck, licking his skin. Kuya-san shivered, the rhythmic rolling of his hips growing more intense. I shifted a little to run my tongue over the line of his collarbone. That was familiar. We were always teasing each other, each daring the other to go beyond our usual kissing and touching and licking, trying to push each other over the limit of what we could endure.

And then we'd pull back, afraid to take that next step.

The steps were the real problem, not because it was a bad idea to take things one step at a time, but because the steps kept growing. Or rather, no matter how close we got to the next big step, an infinite number of smaller steps appeared between, and climbing them got us nowhere. We were letting ourselves be satisfied with the illusion of progress, mentally patting ourselves on the back for imagined efforts that did nothing to advance our relationship.

In other words, we were overthinking everything, and that wasn't like either of us. Especially me.

No more thinking today, I decided, biting back a gasp as Kuya-san's hand slid from my hip to the center of my butt, pushing me forward as he ground against me. He wasn't just kinda hard anymore. And neither was I. I was so excited I couldn't stand it, and that thrill built with every movement, not just Kuya-san's but mine too, something like instinct causing me to move my hips in time with his, my body naturally following his lead. It felt good - physically, of course, the warmth and friction scrambling my brain, but the emotional pleasure was even better.

This is it, this is what I've been waiting for... to share this with Kuya-san...

"Kuya-san," my voice leaked out in a choked groan. "Kuya-san, I..."

I didn't know what I was trying to say, honestly. I wanted him to know that I was happy, that I felt good, but I couldn't find any words. Kuya-san seemed to understand, though. He paused for a moment to stare into my eyes, still looking fierce and aroused, but his smile was tender as he leaned in for a kiss.

A moment later, that kiss grew hot, his tongue wrapping around mine as he sucked at my mouth. I opened my mouth wider, accepting all of him. The kiss didn't last long, with Kuya-san pulling away and gasping for air, breath ragged as he grew more and more aroused. His strong arm slipped up into my shirt and wrapped around my back, hand grasping my shoulder, and I couldn't have pulled away if I wanted to.

I didn't want to. Instead, I wanted more. I gathered my courage and slid my hand into his pajama pants, petting the smooth skin of his backside, pressing my fingertips into the hard muscle just beneath. Kuya-san froze with a gulp, and I felt him twitch against me.

"Yuki," his voice was nearly a sob, "Yuki..."

He sounded so needy that it almost made me want to cry, and I brought my hand to his hip and tugged him closer. "Don't stop, please..."

He made a quiet sound of agreement, arm tightening around my back. Kuya-san's body was hot, almost feverish and uncomfortable to hold, his skin slightly damp beneath my fingertips. That sensation could hardly compare to the one trapped between us, though, so hard and hot that it stole my breath away. My fingers kneaded his side, unable to respond with anything more than a gasp as the rolling of his hips intensified. He was really close; I was plenty familiar with those frantic movements and the roughness of each breath.

More, I thought in a haze of lust, I want more...

Something like instinct made me slip my hand down between us, wanting more direct contact. I wasn't bold enough to slide my hand into Kuya-san's pajama pants, but it was enough to let my palm slide over the fleecy fabric, fingertips dancing dangerously close to his groin.

"Yuki?!" he gasped, but he didn't stop moving, too far gone for the rational part of his brain to pull him back from the edge.

My heart leaped in my chest, the thrill of doing something so sexy and daring making blood rush loudly in my ears as I slipped lower, stroking the length of my fingers over our clothed arousals. Kuya-san made a strangled noise, hips jerking forward at the unexpected touch, and I felt him twitching frantically against my palm. My eyes widened at the unfamiliar expression that swept over his features, brows drawing together as if he was pained, eyes squeezing shut as an incredibly sexy groan escaped from his parted lips. And all the while, his hips kept moving, chasing mine.

My lips pursed into an O of surprise as I realized what had happened. Kuya-san, you...

I didn't get to finish that thought. It was swept away by a sudden rush of pleasure, the knot of excitement in my stomach unraveling all at once in a wave that shook my entire body. I couldn't keep my eyes open as that hot passion flowed through me, most of it rushing directly to my groin and escaping in a flood of pleasure. All the hair on my body stood on end, and though I tried to hold it back, a lustful moan slipped from my lips. I buried my face against Kuya-san's shoulder in a vain attempt to stifle it and the heavy panting that followed.

It took a few moments for my brain to start working again.

We did it, I thought in a haze of fading excitement and growing wonder. We actually did it!

We rested there, eyes closed, arms lazily draped around each other's waists, as our breathing calmed and our heartbeats returned to normal. When I opened my eyes, Kuya-san was watching me, the soft smile on his lips making him look more beautiful than ever before. Any words I'd wanted to say disappeared from my mind at the sight of that blissful expression, a warm smile that was reflected in his eyes and the tender way he was studying my face. He brought one hand to my cheek, brushing over my skin with the backs of his fingers.

"Yuki... thank you. That was amazing."

My cheeks grew warmer. "Um, I don't know if I'd call it amazing," I began, but deep down, I knew Kuya-san was right. We'd taken a huge step, and even if it wasn't all the way, it was a lot farther than we'd ever gone before. I'd gotten to see Kuya-san's most secret face, and shared mine with him as well. It was embarrassing and exciting and amazing all wrapped up into one. "Well, maybe it was... hehe... you made a really sexy face, Kuya-san."

Suddenly his face was on fire. "I, I did not! You're the one who made a sexy face, Yuki!"

"Wh, what? No way!" I pouted at him.

A moment later, we started laughing, snuggled up against each other and giggling. I ended up laughing so hard that I had to wipe my eyes and nose on Kuya-san's shoulder.

"Hey! Yuki, did you just wipe snot on me?!"

I jerked back from his shoulder, attempting to stop my runny nose with a sniffle. It didn't really work. "Uh... sorry, Kuya-san!"

"No, it's fine! I mean," he looked down at himself, "er, I think I need to change anyway. There's, um, a bit of a mess. I can't go to sleep like this."

"R, right... me too." I shifted like I was about to pull away from Kuya-san's embrace, but his arm tightened around me.

"Yuki... could we hug a little more before cleaning up?"

I couldn't deny Kuya-san anything, not when he was pouting like that. I leaned close to kiss his sticking-out lip and rubbed his side. "Of course, Kuya-san. I'll hug you as long as you want."

~ end ~