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Spin the Dreidel, Asshole

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It doesn’t feel like Hanukkah at all, Puck thinks. For starters, it’s too early, with the start of it overlapping with Thanksgiving. Then there’s the whole thing where he’s living in a dorm with Finn, since Finn convinced him to sign up for classes, too. Puck doesn’t miss living at home except when it comes to stuff like waiting to play dreidel the last three nights of Hanukkah, or hiding the honey from his mom at Rosh Hashanah.

Now it’s the seventh night of Hanukkah, and aside from putting some cream cheese in his pancake that morning in the dining hall, there’s been nothing holiday-ish about the day at all. Puck digs around in his desk until he finds a dreidel, and then goes to Google the directions to print them out for Finn.

He isn’t expecting to find the instructions for strip dreidel, but those are the ones he prints out. When Finn puts his key in the lock, Puck’s already sitting on their scrap-carpet rug, dreidel on top of his calculus textbook in the middle of it.

“You’re gonna play dreidel with me!” Puck says.

“I am?” Finn asks.

“It’s the next to last night, and I haven’t played dreidel at all,” Puck says. “They’re going to come after me like I ate bacon.”

“Oh, yeah, you can’t break the Jewish rules, man,” Finn says, plopping himself onto the rug across from Puck.

“I printed out the rules for you. It’s a special version.”

“I don’t remember the rules for the regular version anyway.”

“The regular version involves chocolate, remember? Not this one.”

“We don’t get chocolate?” Finn asks.

“Look at the rules,” Puck says, pointing to the paper.

Finn looks down at the paper and frowns as he slowly reads aloud, “Strip… dreidel?” He looks up at Puck. “Huh?”

“You take clothes off or put them on,” Puck says. “I figured we could put on each other’s clothes out of the pot before our own.”

“That would be kinda funny,” Finn concedes.

“You can spin first,” Puck says. “Shoes off, they don’t count as clothes.”

“They do!”

“Not for strip dreidel, they don’t. Which one of us is the Jewish one here?”

“I don’t think strip dreidel’s in the Taurus, dude!”

“Torah, and you don’t know. It might be!”

“I doubt it.”

“After you read it, you can argue with me, but tonight? Shoes off,” Puck says firmly.

“Fine,” Finn says, kicking his shoes off with a determined expression. “But I’m totally stretching out your shirt, just so you know.”

“Your new crop top, you mean. Spin it.”

Finn maintains the determined expression as he spins the dreidel. It lands on gimmel. “What’s that one?” He squints at the rules sheet. “I can’t tell.”

“Take two pieces of clothes off, it’s a gimmel,” Puck says.

“Dang it!” Finn says, but he dutifully removes his socks.

Puck briefly considers arguing that socks are a single item, but he lets it slide and spins, watching the dreidel land on shin. “Awesome, I’ll have an extra-warm foot,” Puck says as he pulls on one of Finn’s still-warm socks.

“I think you’re cheating,” Finn grumbles as he rights the dreidel and then gives it an overly-aggressive spin. It lands on gimmel again. “You’ve gotta be shitting me!”

“Two more!” Puck says, grinning at Finn.

“Is this thing weighted?” Finn asks, as he pulls his sweater over his head. He glares a little as he pulls off his t-shirt, too.

“If it were weighted, I’d be getting gimmel too,” Puck points out. He spins the dreidel, hoping for shin so he can put on the other sock, but instead he gets nun. “Oh well. Your turn again!”

Finn spins again, giving the dreidel a suspicious look. It stops on hey. Puck raises his eyebrows expectantly. “What’s this one mean?” Finn asks.

“One, off.”

Finn groans his complaint as he undoes his jeans and slides them off, dropping them into the clothing pile. “Weighted.”

“In whose favor?”

“Not mine, obviously.”

Puck puts his hand to his chest. “You don’t like stripping for me?”

Finn snorts. “Oh yeah. Nothing like stripping for an enthusiastic audience.”

“Did you need me to whistle?” Puck whistles. “It’s just, your boxers aren’t sexy.”

“Yes they are!” Finn says.

“No, they’re not!” Puck says as he spins. “Yes, shin again! Second warm foot, here I come. You should hope you spin gimmel again so you can ditch the unsexy boxers.”

“No way!” Finn says, grabbing the dreidel and spinning it. “I got the same thing as you!” He snatches his jeans back out of the pile and pulls them back on.

“One gimmel will still take it all away,” Puck says. He spins gimmel himself, and sighs as he takes off Finn’s socks. “They were warm, too. Like having your hands around my feet or something.”

“You’re so weird,” Finn says. He spins the dreidel and it lands on nun. He points at it and looks at Puck.

“Don’t do anything, and why is that weird?”

“My hands around your feet? Weird, dude.”

“They’re nice hands.” Puck shrugs and spins the dreidel. “More shin! I get your sock back.”

“But I like my socks,” Finn says morosely.

“I like ‘em more, and the dreidel likes me having them more.”

Finn sighs and spins again, landing on gimmel. “Well, shit.”

“C’mon, make it sexier!”

“No way!”

“Please? It’s the holidays!”

“I’ll take it off, but I won’t make it sexy,” Finn says, removing his jeans again and then quickly sliding off his boxers and sitting cross-legged so his legs are hiding his junk.

“That’s not very festive of you,” Puck says, making a face. He spins the dreidel and gets gimmel. “See, now I have to take my socks off.” He drags them off as if they’re in the middle of a strip club.

“Oh, poor you, losing your socks,” Finn grumbles.

“You didn’t even appreciate how I took them off!”

“Yeah, yeah, it was real sexy.”

Puck frowns and sniffs. “Unappreciative.”

“It’s just socks, dude,” Finn says, then spins the dreidel. This time, he gets shin. “This means clothes on?”

“One. One piece of clothing, no more.”

Finn snatches his boxers out of the pile and pulls them on.

“You’re such a spoilsport!” Puck says. “Don’t you want me to enjoy Hanukkah?”

“Not with my dick hanging out!”

“Dick hanging in is more festive?” Puck asks. “I mean, that’s a little forward, but I can roll with it.”

“Just spin the dreidel, asshole,” Finn says.

“Well, yeah, that’d—” Puck stops as the dreidel stops. “Nun! It loves me.”

“Because you’re Jewish and I’m—the one that means not Jewish!”

“So the dreidel is magically granting my Hanukkah wishes?”

“Is your Hanukkah wish to not be naked or to see my dick?” Finn asks. “No, really. I want to know.”

“I haven’t seen your dick yet, you keep hiding it,” Puck points out. “And why would I have said ‘let’s play strip dreidel’ if my wish was to stay clothed.”

“You seem to be doing pretty good at staying clothed,” Finn says.

“Still wouldn’t have suggested it if clothes was my goal.”

Finn huffs. “Yeah, whatever.” He spins the dreidel again, once again getting gimmel. “I don’t even know why I bother putting anything back on.”

“Maybe the big guy was upset you called the Torah a bull.”

Finn glares at Puck as he removes his boxers again. “The big guy’s kind of a dick.”

“Nah, he’d really think it was a compliment. Maybe he’s trying to grant a wish of yours!”

“It’s cold in here,” Finn says. “How is naked my wish?”

“Maybe it’s a tool or a situation to help you get your wish?” Puck spins and gets hey. “Guess I’ll take my hoodie off.”

Finn’s glare gets glarier as Puck removes his hoodie. When it’s Finn’s turn to spin the dreidel, it’s a little more like a throw than a spin, really. It lands on gimmel.

“This game is stupid,” Finn says, reaching for his clothes and beginning to put them on again.

“Hey!” Puck says, pulling at Finn’s clothes. “You can’t just get dressed again!”

“Yeah, I can,” Finn says, holding his shirt up high behind him so Puck can’t grab it.

“But I won!”

“That means the game’s over, then, so I get to put my clothes on!”

“I should get to enjoy my winnings, since there’s no chocolate to eat!” Puck insists.

“It’s your own fault you don’t have chocolate,” Finn says. “It’s cold in here and I want my clothes back on.”

“I could turn the heat up?” Puck offers. “Then you wouldn’t be cold.”

“Or I can just get dressed.”

Puck shrugs and keeps talking before he can stop himself. “I wouldn’t enjoy that as much. So, you know, it’d be like a Hanukkah treat or something. Or we could get off the floor, that’d be warmer.”

“Yeah, but then my bare ass would be on the sofa,” Finn points out.

“I don’t care if you don’t?”

Finn’s face twists into a scowl, and he holds his balled-up clothes in front of his junk as he backs his way to the sofa and sits down. “There. I’m still naked. Happy Hanukkah.”

“Why are you mad?”

“Because I’m a big, naked dreidel loser!”

“Dude, I know you hate games, that’s why we don’t play them the rest of the year, but it’s just dreidel. And me.” Puck sits down next to Finn on the sofa.

“And my nakedness.”

“I’ll make a deal with you,” Puck says. “We can get under your blankets, and I’ll get naked too.”

Finn’s eyebrows rise towards his hairline as his face starts to turn red. “I didn’t know it was that kind of game.”

“It said ‘strip dreidel’ right there on the rules.”

“Yeah. ‘Strip dreidel’, not ‘naked together under a blanket dreidel’.”

“I wasn’t going to bring the dreidel under the blanket, but if you really feel like it’s necessary I can grab it,” Puck offers. “So?”

“Yeah, okay,” Finn says, turning redder. “No dreidel needed, though.”

Puck grins and stands up, starting to shed the rest of his clothes. “That’s probably better. Who knows where it’d get to, right?”

“Probably better not to even think about that,” Finn says.