You know… I knew him for such a long time. He has definitely been the best dad ever. Not mine, of course. Never mine. But I could see what a care he took of his only daughter. I didn’t see him for a long time after a divorce with Annie’s mum – Petra. I never found out why they actually divorced. Maybe because they had her only when she was 16 and he was 18? Who knows. And that’s the reason why I was so shocked to see him in a pub I frequently visited during weekends.
“Hey, [F/N], what’s up?” Eren touched my shoulder and I shrugged to avoid his touch. His hand slowly slid along mine and didn’t come back again.
“Nothing. Just…” I looked again at him and shook my head. “Just thought that I saw someone I know.”
Mikasa sighed and looked down on her mobile phone. “You mean that blond man who sits near a bar?”
I blinked. “Yeah…”
“He’s Annie’s father if that’s what you’re thinking about. I heard from her that he came back to town for some kind of business.”
“Oh,” I looked back at him. “Really? You were in contact with Annie? How is she?”
I was waiting for some additional information but what else could I expect from Mikasa? She has never talked much and this was some kind of a long speech for her.
“Then…” I took a deep breath. “Then it’s great, right?” I looked again at her father.
“If you want to go and talk to him, just do it. You always had a crush on him, didn’t you?”
I frowned. Hear from Mikasa such a thing was even bigger shock then a fact she was talking more this evening.
“I didn’t have a crush on him, I just appreciated the way he behaved to Annie and us. He was really kind, wasn’t he?”
“Well…” Eren scratched his head. “I heard a lot of stuff about him and trust me, not all of them were so positive. Even Annie told me he was like some kind of commander who wanted to be in control of everything. When her mother divorced with him, it was such a... relief for her? Yeah, relief.”
“She never told me that.”
“Of course not, [NICKNAME]. Why would she?” Mikasa put her phone on the table. “You have never known your own dad and you admired him a lot. And when he left… why to talk about it more? She went to see him during summer, she was happy about it and it was enough for her. You know Annie for years, you know how she behaves and doesn’t give a shit about anything.”
I knew. She was total opposite of me and still… we’re really good friends from our childhood till now. Yes, we weren’t in touch as much as we wished to be because she left to Denmark for finishing her university studies… but she was good friend. Sometimes selfish and egoistic as hell but still a good friend. She had been defending me so many times in high school in front of stupid people and never asked anything as a reward. Only friendship. However, a fact that she didn’t tell me about her dad’s behavior saddened me a little.
“Don’t take it as a betrayal or something like that. She just didn’t see a point to tell you,” Mikasa smiled but the smile disappeared in few seconds. “Would you like something to drink or what?”
I sighed. “I would definitely go for a shot of cranberry vodka. What you, guys?”
Eren grinned. “Vodka, huh?”
“Why not? It’s Saturday. No school or work tomorrow. Just let have some fun without thinking about everything.”
“Absinth for me then,” Mikasa said with stoic voice, phone again in her hand. “And cola. I need to drink down that shit.”
I looked at Eren who looked even more confused at me and said: “You know… we’re dating like for… three years now, right? And we know each other for much longer and I’ve never ever heard from you that you’d like to drink something like absinth… And I don’t mention that shit thing which came out of your mouth.”
“Then just fucking shut up and go to order it!”
“Aye, aye, madam!” he saluted and left with a smile. I laughed and Mikasa joined me. We’re definitely getting older. I looked again at Annie’s dad for the last time. He was talking to barman. I shook my head and started saying something to Mikasa who once again… took her phone in her hand.
I hiccupped. “We shouldn’t drink that fucking shit again, you know? I’m like one hundred years old, not for me anymore.”
“Sure, sure…” Mikasa laughed pretty loudly. “We had like… three of that green things? Not so much. Just gettin’ dizzy. Ya know.”
“You start to talk like American teenager,” I chuckled. “What happened to you, my dear?”
“Not much. Just want to fuck out the brain of my boyfriend’s pretty head.”
Eren’s eyes shined. “So… what are we waiting for?” he took Mikasa’s phone which was untouched for last half hour. Or whole hour? Who knew. He dialed taxi.
“Come on, guys! I’m living in that stupid apartment with two of you. How am I supposed to get some fucking sleep with you two having sex whole night?”
“Get some pills, maybe?” Mikasa said with no emotion on her face and then she started to laugh.
“Or have some program in the town?” Eren smiled. “Sorry, I just can’t decline my beautiful woman, you know? She is a little bit drunk and getting turned on,” he winked at me. Did he really wink at me?!
“And with whom am I supposed to pass whole night, ha? At least let me know when you stop. So I would know that I can finally sleep in my bed without being terrified that I will hear something.”
“Jean and Marco should be out with Sasha,” Mikasa said while putting on her coat. “They’re mentioning to have threesome. I’m so fucking sure they would take you between them.”
I acted as if I was throwing up. “No, definitely no. I’ll think about something. Have fun, you pair of perverts.”
Mikasa kissed me on the cheek and Eren did the same, then they left. I sighed and look at the barman with familiar face. I stood up and went to sit down next to the bar.
“Hey, [F/N]! They left you here? Why so?”
“Stupidest question ever, Mike. How’s your shift, by the way?”
“Good. Have a chance to talk to my old friend after a long time.”
“Really? Whom?” I asked without expecting anyone else to join our conversation.
“[F/N]? Is that really you?” I heard a voice from behind me and I almost fell from the chair. I totally forgot about Annie’s dad.
“Oh, Mr. Smith? Long time, no see,” I giggled as I was trying to get back on the chair. He helped me and I theatrically nodded my head and said loud thank you. He laughed and sat next to me.
“I think that Mr. Smith is odd, don’t you think?”
“You are dad of one of my best friends and you deserve some respect, trust me,” the alcohol was getting in my brain more and more and the courage I didn’t have before just showed up from anywhere.
“Well… Mike is as old as I’m and you have no problem to call him by his first name.”
“But he isn’t part of a DNA of Annie, you know,” I smiled innocently and Mr. Smith laughed again.
“It’s nice to see you in a good mood. So maybe… only for this night I can be Erwin for you, what do you think?”
I started to think but I wasn’t able to think clearly. Alcohol covered my mind in a sweet cloud which was really comfortable.
“Okay then… Erwin.”
He smiled at me and I thought that I would melt sooner than later. What the fuck I was doing there? Why I didn’t leave with Eren and Mikasa? They weren’t so loud… okay, I was just trying to lie to myself. But… I should leave and go somewhere. I totally forgot about Mr. Sm… ehm, about Erwin being here.
“How your studies go, [F/N]?”
I blinked few times before I actually realized what he was asking. “Well… I would say that good. I’m currently working on my master’s thesis. So…”
“Really? Annie will…”
“Yes, that’s because of her transfer to Denmark. She was working there for one year and… only then continued with her studies. That’s why.”
“Oh, right,” he chuckled and I could see that he is a little bit ashamed. “I forgot about that. From the time she is abroad, I’m not in touch with her so much.”
“Me neither. None of our group. Practically only me, Mikasa and Eren left. And those two are dating so I’m like fifth wheel on the wagon. You know.”
“You don’t have a boyfriend?”
I scratched my head nervously. “No. I have been dating with Armin in high school but then he left to different city and we didn’t see a point to be in relationship anymore. And then… ehm…” I couldn’t tell Annie’s father that I just started to enjoy life and focus on my studies. This exactly meant that I had some friendships with benefits and I didn’t meet any of those guys in longer time. All of them were older than me. Much older. More than thirty years old and this wasn’t something I was totally proud of.
He was looking at me suspiciously and I was counting in my head how old he could actually be. I was 23 years old. He was 41 then. Out of my league. Definitely. Oh my god, [F/N]! What the fuck are you thinking about?! You don’t want to fuck father of your good friend!
“And what about you? Are you dating someone?” I asked before he could say something.
“No. Only having casual sex, [F/N].”
I swallowed and looked somewhere else. Mike was nowhere to see and I started to be nervous. Alcohol in my blood system didn’t help at all. Mikasa and her stupid idea!
“Actually… me too.” Did I really say that aloud?!
“Oh. Not type for relationships?”
“No time for that. No need to have any right now. I’m not proud of doing what I do but… I have needs and it’s easier to just screw with someone without feelings than to develop something for longer time.”
“I understand,” he smiled and took a sip of his drink.
The door opened with loud beat when they hit the wall. Erwin was kissing me as if his life depended on my mouth and lips. I hit the wall with my back and moaned loudly. This was so fucking forbidden and not right but I just couldn’t stop myself. When he ordered taxi and asked me if I want to take it with him, I didn’t hesitate. It would be cheaper that way. But the moment we got in the car… none of us could resist.
“Oh my fucking God, [F/N]! We definitely shouldn’t do this. You could be my daughter!” he said when he pulled away.
“But I’m not,” I answered and kissed him again. His tongue pushed on my teeth and I generously opened them for him to explore my mouth. That kiss was like a drug. Literally.
I pushed my hands under his t-shirt. It was such a great feeling to feel his warm under my fingers and palms that I couldn’t resist another moan. He pushed me away and took it off. As I was observing his well-built chest I realized what I just said. This definitely wasn’t right and if Annie found out… it would be total disaster and I knew myself. She would know. Because somehow, when she came and we would go out to have some drinks, I’d tell her. I didn’t know what to do. Erwin took one step towards me and wanted to kiss me again but I turned my head sideways. I closed my eyes and took deep breath.
“You’re right, we shouldn’t.”
I wasn’t looking at him but I definitely knew that he raised his eyebrows. He did it all the time, even when I’s a child and said something what wasn’t expected.
“Why such a change of mind, [F/N]?” he sounded serious. Too serious. I understood because I turned him on, I turned myself on too, and just out of sudden I decided to back up.
“I’m really sorry but if Annie finds out…”
“How she would find out? Come on… this is ridiculous…” he took few steps backwards and I finally found courage to look at him. I was so drunk and so sober at the same time that I wasn’t even able to bare it. He ruffled his hair.
“Because I’d tell her, you know? I just… would…”
He sighed. “Okay…” he looked confused and I saw that desire I ignited was going away. It made me sad. Why the fuck it made me sad?! I didn’t know what I wanted anymore.
“I just should go home…”
He stopped me before I reached the door. “No way. It’s too late. You stay.”
Yeah… definitely commander. There was no way out to argue but I tried it: “No, I shouldn’t. I need to go because…”
“Because you’d change your mind and fuck me?” he chuckled and shook his head. “I think that it’s something both of us need but don’t worry. I won’t touch you. Not in sexual way, trust me,” he let go of my arm and I felt really cold.
“No. I’ll sleep on the couch and you can sleep in my room. No arguing!” he looked at me too serious when he saw I wanted to say something so I was quite. I took my shoes off when I saw he did the same and followed him to the kitchen.
“Wow,” I was so surprised. This kitchen would be 7th heaven for my mum who loved to cook. “Did you…”
“I just rent this apartment. I don’t see a point to buy one. I came to the town only to do some business. I won’t stay longer than three or four months.”
“Oh,” I remembered that Mikasa mentioned something like that. “What kind of business?”
“None of your concern,” he smiled and when he realized it made me a little bit sad he came to me and hugged me. “We plan to found an office of our firm. That’s all. I saw potential to come here.”
“Levi Ackerman, my partner.”
I shook his arms off and took one step behind. “Levi Ackerman?” I said in such a shock that I couldn’t even breath correctly.
“Yeah,” he looked suspiciously. “You know him?”
I nodded and licked my lips. I knew him too well. Oh my God, this evening started to be screwed up more than I expected. I saw that Erwin just realized in what way I knew him.
“Please, just don’t tell me that you and Levi…”
“No!” I stopped him before he could say it aloud. “Please, just don’t!”
He started to laugh but it wasn’t that nice and from heart kind of laugh. It was hysterical laugh. “So you’re that super young girl he mentioned he was fucking, oh my God…”
“You wanted to fuck me as well so stop laughing like if you’re insane, please.”
It didn’t help, he started to laugh even more. “Are you screwing only older men? Like super older men or what?”
I swallowed and licked my lips again. “I told you that I…”
“He is married.”
“He wasn’t at those times!”
“He was. He still is.”
“No, I’m absolutely sure that…”
“He was?” he raised his eyebrow and it was sexy as hell. I swallowed again because second after second I started to loose myself and mine strong will.
“Look, [F/N], I know Levi. I’m sure that he wouldn’t share such an information with you and even if you asked… he’d lie. And you’d believe him because women usually do. They want to fuck him too much to find out the truth.”
“I am not like that…” I wanted to defend myself but I stopped it. There was no point in doing such a thing. “Sorry, I just…”
“But I am in shock that it lasted for such a long time. Did you end it? Or him?”
I scratched my head and frowned. “What exactly did he tell you?”
“That you ended it. Without giving any reason why.”
“Oh…” I giggled. “I gave him the reason. It started to be too serious and I didn’t want to get attached. With a man I just found out is married. And was even when we’re somehow together…” I sighed and shook my head. “Look, I don’t regret it. It’s really nice. And if he does that regularly, I doubt that his wife doesn’t know. She knows. I don’t know if she only tolerates it or she does the same or if it’s some kind of advantage for her but…”
“She does the same thing. She told me they have open relationship but I doubt that. Both of them do that only to make each other mad or jealous or something. Actually… she started it. I remember you were the first one he screwed during his marriage. Because he found out about her,” he smiled sadly. “You definitely shouldn’t regret it. They aren’t made for each other and only stay together because of their son.”
I nodded slowly and yawned. How was I capable to talk with some kind of sense in such a condition I was in… was a big mystery for me.
“Oh,” I just realized that I forgot on something, “I didn’t answer your question.”
“Question?” he looked confused. “What question?”
“If I fuck only with older men.”
“That question… you really want to answer?”
“Yes,” I smiled and leaned on kitchen counter. “I have some rules. One of them is to never go to bed with someone who is forty plus. I almost broke that rule tonight,” I wasn’t looking at him, the floor was much more less dangerous option. “And I still want to.”
“But you have your rules and I’m dad of your very good friend,” he said with a smile in his voice. “And you were fucking with my best friend and partner. I never have sex with his partners of any kinds.”
I nodded. “I should go…”
“I told you that I won’t let you and you’ll sleep here. So don’t mess with me, I’m not in a mood to argue. I thought I’ll have sex tonight. No such a thing is happening so please, don’t argue at least.”
“So… you wouldn’t mind if I went to sleep? I’m super tired.”
“No, come,” he smiled and went to show me where his room was. I followed him and desire ignited in me again. I sighed and shook my head as if I thought it would help but of course – it didn’t. As always. He opened door and let me in. Bed was king sized. Not two people would get great sleep there but even four or more.
“Wow, you really didn’t buy this flat? Because I’d on your place.”
He laughed. “No, as I told you – no point in buying it.”
I climbed in the bed and tap the place next me. “You don’t need to sleep on the couch. There is enough place for whole army, you can sleep here.”
He shook his head. “No, I can’t.”
I smiled because I exactly knew why but I still asked. “Why, Erwin?”
“Because I’d fuck your brain out your head, that’s why.”
“And both of us agreed that something like that isn’t a good idea, right?”
He nodded and I cocked my head to one side. “And if you imagined that we’re living in mirror world, would that mean that it’s actually right thing to do?”
“You backed up first time and now… you’re trying to find a way how to make it happen? You’re always interesting child and you are even more interesting young woman, you know that?”
I nodded with a smile. I opened my arms and he collapsed into me with a loud thud. We fell on the bed and were kissing like if we stopped it would kill both of us. His tongue found a way into my mouth and I moaned when he started to explore. Our tongues weren’t battling, I’d rather say they were trying to get to know each other. Such a silly thought, I wanted to laugh.
He started to kiss me on my neck and my breathing got faster. When he got to neckline, he helped me sit and put down my t-shirt. He didn’t even wait a second and unclasped my bra and throw it away. His hands automatically come up and squeezed my breasts. I moaned. I didn’t have sex for a longer time and it was practically the best thing to reduce stress. For me.
I pulled Erwin down on me and his mouth found a way to my right nipple. He sucked gently while his other hand found the other nipple and squeezed. I felt how I was getting wetter and wetter. My head was like in heaven.
His mouth traced down my torso and circled my belly button. I giggled, I was super ticklish there and I could feel his smile. He moved down and unbuttoned my trousers. He pulled them slowly down while looking directly in my eyes. It was forbidden as hell to let him do that but with so much pleasure. Why it was so good?
He kissed my left ankle and moved upwards with his mouth. I knew where he was going and I couldn’t wait. But when he got there, he left my leg be and started to take care of right one. It’s driving me crazy and my moans were getting on intensity.
“Erwin, please…” I said between hard breaths.
“Please what, [F/N]?” he asked innocently while kissing me near my knee.
“Please, lick me.”
“Where I should lick you?”
He laughed as he moved forward. “Down there? Never heard about that part of woman’s body.”
“My clit. Please,” I pleaded.
He took off my panties and I stopped breathing for a second when his tongue licked me slowly. I moaned when his tongue speeded up and slowly entered me.
“Oh my fucking god,” I shouted and lifted my hips closer to his face. My fingers found their way into his hair and pulled him closer while his tongue was coming in and out of my vagina with such a speed that I thought I wouldn’t handle it anymore. And out of sudden… he stopped. I let him and my hand fell near my body. I saw how he unclasped his trousers and I made him sit.
“No. No before I take a little care of you,” I winked and pushed him next to me. I pulled his trousers down with his boxers. His penis was not super big, but more than adequate. I licked the top of it and heard him moaned what pushed me to take him into my mouth. I was tickling him with my tongue while sucking. I stroked him with my hand few times while hearing his moans and fast breathing with a pleasure. Then I pulled my hand away and started to go down his length by my mouth. His moaning got faster as I was getting to the root and when I put his whole pride in my mouth, he gasped.
“[F/N], you’ll make me come too soon like that,” he said breathless. “I don’t want to. Not before I can be deep in you.”
I moved my head up and down without actually paying attention to his pleading. I came back to the top and licked it while watching his face.
“Oh, really? Want to fuck me so badly?”
He nodded and wanted to push me away but I shook my head. “No so fast, boy.”
“Yes, you’re. When you’re with me, you’re a boy. My boy with whom I can play whatever I want, do you understand?”
He wanted to say something but I put my finger on his lips. “No arguing, you remember?” I said with a smile. “Do you have condoms?”
“In the first drawer.”
I nodded and opened it. I saw a box and took one condom out of it. “I’d like to just casually enjoy the sex but… too young for children,” I winked and started to roll it on his pride. I couldn’t wait for the moment I’d ride him. When the condom was on, I sat on him and guided him into me. I slowly slid down his length and moaned. This would be super great, I knew it in my bones.
I started to move up and down faster and faster and our moans mixed in one. His penis filled me and I couldn’t get enough from that feeling. He pushed me away on my fours and took me from behind. I moaned even louder when he was moving in and out, in and out. He was rougher with every single thrust and I thought I’d go crazy if I didn’t come soon enough. My fingers found their way to my clit and I moaned again. When it became almost unbearable, I felt the orgasm taking over by body and I collapsed on the bed with loud scream. He went out of me, turned on my back and took of his condom. He sat on me and started to strike himself. His movement became faster as his eyes never left mine and when he finally came, his cum cover my tummy and breasts. He stopped breathing for few seconds.
“Oh my god, [F/N]…” he fell next to me and took few deep breaths. “Just… give me a second and I will find some tissues.”
I laughed and lay there without any movement. My fingers found his and he squeezed them. I closed my eyes with a smile on my lips. Yeah, guilty pleasure was definitely the best one and I was addicted to it. I should go to some kind of rehab but right now… I just wanted to enjoy the moment as much as I could. The guilty conscience can call me tomorrow, right now… I lived only for given moment of pure satisfaction which wrapped my whole body and mind.