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Hobnobs, Knobs, and Snobs

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Sergeant Danny Butterman had once thought that the day he saw another man behind his father’s desk would be the saddest of his life. Yet somehow, Chief Inspector Nicholas Angel fit much better in that chair than his father ever had.

The fact that Danny had been sharing house, bed and table with Nicholas for six months now was not a factor to consider at all in that appreciation, but it certainly was in noticing other things. Nicholas had been in his office the whole morning. He didn’t even raise his eyes when Bob Walker put his feet up on his assigned desk. Bob resting his aching feet was one of the old traditions in the Sandford Police Service. Not even Nicholas Angel was able to eradicate and, one must remark, not for lack of trying.

Danny could almost see the wheels turning inside Nicholas’s head. That man never knew when to quit. The best way to make him stop was to provide a distraction. It wasn’t tea time yet, but they’d skipped elevenses that day. The kettle was usually boiling in the station and Danny set a quaint teacup down on its saucer and tossed a couple of hobnobs on the side just for good measure.

As Danny walked to Nicholas’s office with the cup balancing precariously, The Andies passed by his side and mumbled something to each other that Danny ignored. He had to keep his focus, or the tea would stop threatening to splash over the edge, it would actually do so.

“Hey!” Danny called and pushed the door, because there was no way he could knock and keep everything steady.

Nicholas nodded to acknowledge his presence but didn’t turn his head to look at him. Danny smiled again, that was the man he adored from the bottom of his heart. He set the teacup and saucer down just at the edge of Nicholas’s work. Nicholas’s eyes wandered to the cup and they lit up when he saw the biscuits. They weren't ginger nuts, or even rich teas, but hobnobs were a solid third-place runner-up for most dunkable biscuit.

“Thank you, Sergeant.” Nicholas said, and Danny felt like he to grow a couple of inches with pride.

“What are you reading now?”

“ISO 10004,” Nicholas said and brushed his hand over his hair. The movement betrayed his exhaustion. “Customer satisfaction ― Guidelines for monitoring and measuring.”

“That’s not a Constabulary issued document.” Danny observed and let his weight rest on the edge of the desk.

“I should have started with ISO 9001...” The book was closed and Nicholas groaned in annoyance. “This issue was not covered by the Constabulary.”

Danny smiled an understanding smile although he was sure the Constabulary supplied more than enough guidelines to cover all the most boring situations, but he was sure Nicholas Angel wasn’t in the mood to hear his opinions on that.

“What did the Constabulary overlook this time?”

“Doris’s logs.” Nicholas took a brief sip of tea. By the relief Danny heard in the ensuing sigh, tea felt on Nicholas’s throat like blessed rain on a parched soil. “They need a push in the right direction.”

“I'm sure Doris wouldn’t mind a mighty push,” Danny paused for a second, “in the right direction.”

Nicholas’s face contorted for a brief second in that lovable gesture he always do when he was having troubles suppressing both the smile and the need to roll his eyes at the same time. It was Nicholas’s fault and served him well for leaving the opening right there and easy to pick up.

After a couple of breaths, Nicholas continued: “We are not addressing the known issues in an effective manner.”

“When the known issue is ‘birds are chirping too loud in the early morning’,” Danny was aware that old people called about them birds, “there isn’t much the Police Service can do about it.”

Nicholas pulled the chair close to the desk and invited Danny to approach and see his work with a brief tilt of the head. Danny squeezed his big bulk behind the chair and leaned on the backrest, putting his hands on the armrests. He was so close to Nicholas he could smell not only his aftershave, but his sweat. That gobsmackingly hot smell should be a criminal offense.

Last month’s logs were spread across the desk and marked with red pen. Notes were made with black ink, addressed were highlighted, and hints were signalled with neat asterisks. Dan read through the work and for a moment he marvelled at the perfect symmetry of the marks.

“That's quite the morning job!”  Danny bent down his left elbow and rested his chin on Nicholas’s shoulder to get a better view.

Nicholas nodded in agreement, caressing Danny’s face in the process, but the way his skin moved when he smiled betrayed how much he liked the praise. Danny didn't hesitate and kissed the side of that head; the feeling of that close cropped hair in his lips made him happy beyond measure.

“Highly improper behaviour for the work environment,” Nicholas chided.

That was expected and Danny knew —first-hand― how exacting Nicholas was with some regulations. However, Nicholas also didn’t try to shy away from the touch.

“What did you find?” Danny asked to prevent Nicholas from asking him to move.

“Doris has been receiving the same complaint from eight different addresses for a fortnight,” Nicholas continued, pulling a map of the village from beneath the pile. The places were marked with red dots. “I suspect there is some criminal activity brewing, but Doris reported nothing about it.”

“God, I love your police brain…” Danny’s awed tone comes naturally out of his mouth.

“Thank you,” Nicholas replied mindlessly. “All the calls about teenagers loitering come when sun is still up…”

Danny lost track of the analysis because he was too distracted by the way Nicholas picked the hobnob up with his left hand without stopping his explanation. Danny’s eyes followed the familiar dunk of the biscuit and the way Nicholas stuck out his neck to catch the wet bit before it crumbled in a soggy mess. The habitual movement brought out the old habit of averting his eyes, because Nicholas’s lips never failed to bring other ideas to his mind. Regrettably, from his position, Danny could only look down and his eyes fell on Nicholas’s crotch.

Ah, old fashioned police work never failed to do the job for Nicholas.

Danny Butterman was never a man for sensible ideas and these months together had trained his reflexes far too well. Danny couldn’t resist reaching for Nicholas’s cock.


The tone of Nicholas’s voice carried bureaucratic authority, but the throbbing cock in his hand was not complying any regulation. Danny was sure Nicholas didn’t notice himself tilting his hips to increase the contact at the same time his fingers crushed the biscuit. The automatic response was just training working right. Training was just repetition and Nicholas had experienced Danny’s hand in his crotch enough times to have learnt an appropriate —and automatic― response.

“Eh, shhh. Do you want the entire station to realise I’m touching your pecker?” Danny asked; his lips were close to Nicholas’s ear. “Now, if you want me to remove my hand, I’ll do it without any fuss. Just say the word.”

Danny felt Nicholas’s pulse rushing; his fingers were in a privileged position to keep tabs on it. He was expecting a nod or a command but Nicholas, blushing fiercely, turned his eyes to Doris’s logs. His bottom lip was quivering and his skin was hot, but Danny rested his cheek against Nicholas’s again.

“Shall we continue?”

Danny smiled and let his fingers roam Nicholas’s crotch. “You were saying?”

“Teenagers…” Nicholas repeated and he parted his legs just enough to let Danny fondle his balls. Danny took the chance and pulled down the zipper. “The reports mention teenagers loitering.”

“Not a big crime.” Danny felt the crown of the cock through the fabric of Nicholas’s undies, pulled the band down and let his fingers grope around before closing them around Nicholas’s cock. The warmth in his hand was right and the world seemed perfect again.

Nicholas let out that sexy and satisfied moan that always drove Danny a bit crazy with need. Danny looked around, feeling a bit ashamed. A throwback to the guilt of an unwanted hard-on in high school, he was sure. Walker and Saxon were having a snore contest by his desk. Doris was nattering with one of the Turners. They were safe as long as Nicholas kept his voice down; an almost impossible feat if experience was anything to go by. It would be quite a challenge but Danny felt Nicholas would excel and go beyond expectations.

“A big crime for Sanford,” Nicholas voice was guttural and dull, but his crotch was wet and hard and pushing against Danny’s hand. “Besides…”

“Besides?” Danny insisted, pressing Nicholas’s cock between his fingers. He could feel how Nicholas getting closer to the edge.

“Be…” Nicholas lifted the map to cover his face, but the shaking was pretty telling. Danny would give him a hand if he were not… giving him a hand already. “Sh…”

“Quiet!” Danny said before nibbling the hot ear by his mouth now that his face was behind the map too. “Do you want to be a public nuisance?”

That last quip was successful. Nicholas bit his bottom lips and Danny cock stirred to the sight of those teeth. Danny felt how his hand picked up speed with every little sign of Nicholas letting himself go. The closed eyes were followed by the heavy breathing and soon enough Nicholas’s neck became stiff and his cock twitched in Danny’s hand. Finally, release came, and Nicholas turned his face towards Danny’s in short breath. Danny felt his hand rather wet.

“Bloody mess!” Nicholas exclaimed and let go their cover. Danny wasn’t sure if he meant the marks on the map, or what just happened inside his pants. Danny pressed his right hand against Nicholas’s shoulder to keep him seated in his chair.

Danny smiled, he was half way there but he didn’t really feel the need to finish himself off. Once the shaking in Nicholas’s shoulders had passed, Danny gave him some space and rested his arse on a corner of the desk. Nicholas was one hell of a cuddler, but he always needed five seconds to regain control of his head. Danny didn’t mind it in bed, and he wasn’t expecting a cuddlefest after a workplace quickie. He took a handkerchief and did this best to clean the spunk from his hand.

“Where are the Andies at?”

“Really?” Danny hadn’t been expecting a hug, but he certainly hadn’t expected his boyfriend to ask after other men. “That’s the first thing out of your maw?”

“The places in the map,” Nicholas, short of breath and still shaken, pointed at the red marks. “Those hooligans are at the NWA houses!”

“Aw, shite!” Danny sprang to his feet and moved to ask Doris to locate the Andies, but he turned around when he noticed that Nicholas had stood and was walking behind him.


Danny shot his hands down, put Nicholas’s junk inside his trousers and pulled the fly up.

“That.” Danny shrugged. “Sometimes you need to switch off and take care of those things.”

“Thank you, babe.”

It was evident that Nicholas ached to put his hands around Danny’s face and kiss him, but work wasn’t really the place. Well, not where people could see. Danny nodded and Nicholas got out of the office with a look of longing in his face.

Danny had always enjoyed the firsts moments when Nicholas springs to action. Shoulders squared and long strides were always enjoyable, but the air of authority when Nicholas roused the office was even better. As Nicholas rapped his knuckles on Old Bob’s desk and shouted him an address by way of greeting, Danny picked up his hat from his desk. Sandford finest were ready to raise some hell.

“Keys, Turner!” Nicholas ordered as he passed to the reception booth. “Send the Andies to the Roper house and Fisher to the Paver’s.  Round up any loiterers. “

“Yes, Chief! Hey,” Doris asked in her particular mocking tone as she walked to her station, “were you two being naughty back there?”

“No, because that would be Discreditable Conduct as it’s defined by standards of professional behaviour,” Danny replied, catching the keys in the air. “Sod off, Doris!”

Nicholas gave Danny a long, approving look before putting his sunglasses on.

Duty called, but Danny was sure his misbehaviour would be handsomely rewarded once they have punched the clock.