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to die upon a kiss

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The earsplitting cry of siren is echoing inside of his head, threatening to split his head in two. Everything was cold for a while, before his body become so numb, eyes starting to grow heavy. The sharp smell of fire and gasoline envelopes the air, but it doesn't stung as much as he thought it would. He guesses he's slowly losing his sense. Is this the end for him? He hasn’t even achieved anything in his life; no girlfriend, no family – and what about Makkachin? Who’s going to look after him after he’s dead?

“Oh, well. Whatever, right?” he wheezes weakly, with all the strength he has left. It’s not like anyone is going to miss him. Sure, they’ll cry for a while, but that’s all there is to it. He doesn’t really want to pay the insurance for his car, anyway.

He could hear people calling his name in the distant, but it sounds so obscure, as abstruse as his darkening vision. He’d heard this before, when he first landed a quad at his first competition. Ahh. Good time.


He closes his eyes, letting his drowsiness seeps in. Maybe this isn’t so bad after all. (Minus the throbbing pain all over his body)

“Victor Nikiforov?”

The voice is soothing and vivid, unlike all the white noises in the background. It almost as if it’s bringing his sense back to life.

“Victor, are you alright?” The voice says once again, before quickly adding, “I – I guess not – what am I even saying, So… Sorry, um,”

The sputtering is cute, he thinks. How weird. Isn’t he supposed to be unconscious? What’s going on exactly?

“Victor, you can… open your eyes now.”

So Victor does – his eyes snap open right away the minute he feels a delicate, freezing touch to the side of his head. Right beside him, stood a figure dressed in all black –  from his hair all the way to his feet. His hair is slicked back messily, like he intended to look like that, and his deep red eyes glowing dimly amidst all the chaos. Victor is suddenly running out of words.

“H – Hello. Um, I need to tell you something,” The guy says timidly, fingers playing with the hem of his sleeve. “Gah, why am I so nervous?” He groans suddenly, completely oblivious to the way Victor showers him with stares. “God – I’m new to this – this is my first job, actually, but I need to – “

“Are you an Angel?”


“Am I in heaven?” Victor looks around expecting something, however, he’s still in the same neighborhood, but… something odd seems to be tugging at his chest. His surroundings are blurry, as if he’s watching them from inside a glass box.

The man before him turns bright red before shaking his head vigorously. “N – No! It’s not like that, I’m… I’m quite the opposite, actually.”

“What’s your name?”

“Excuse me?”

“Your name?” Victor raises an eyebrow at him.

“As in… human’s name?” The guy asks back reluctantly, lowering his chin in a submissive manner.

Victor isn’t completely sure what the guy is talking about, but he smiles and nods anyway. There’s a lot of thing going on in his head right now, like how his pain suddenly subsided, and how he’s still alive even after such magnificent collision, but none of it seems to matter now. His heart gradually feels at peace, a tranquil sensation flowing throughout his body.  

“Um, let’s see.” Like some-kind of tacky, second-rate magic trick, a small note book suddenly appeared in the man’s hand. It goes like – poof – in front of Victor’s own eyes.


“You can call me,” The man scans the book in his hand. “Yuuri… Katsuki.” He finishes with a little bit hesitation in his tone. “But it doesn’t really matter now, because at the present time you’re dying.”

“Wow. Okay.” Victor sits up, making himself comfortable. Everything still appears like a dream for him, bright and hazy. “So you’re like, my personal angel, right? Never thought I’d like guys too, but I guess I swing that way now.”

“No, it isn’t like that, Victor.” Yuuri shakes his head in concern. “I am death.” He looks past Victor; with his eyebrows scrunch together.

Victor turns around on impulse, only to find his own body lying lifeless on the ground, surrounded by pool of blood and crowd of people – who doesn’t seem to notice his presence. He suddenly feels sick, the inside of his stomach threatening to spill out at the realization. He chokes on his own spit instead, eyes burning all of a sudden. That's right, he's dead. He's probably hallucinating right now, there's no way death would feel so painless and... clement.

“Ah – I’m sorry – I shouldn’t have – “Yuuri shoots at his direction in panic and ducks down. “It – It might be hard to take in at first, but I promise you once you made it past the light everything’s gonna be fine – “

“The… light?”

“I’m here to guide you to the end of the dream.” Yuuri says, offering his hand. “You see, humans don’t stay dead for long, or their souls will go insane and roam the frontier all eternity, causing the disruption of the law of nature. My job is to make sure I deliver those souls past the boundary to accept their divine judgement.”

Confused as he may be, Victor still accepts Yuuri’s hand in his; the touch is cold but comforting, like the spring breeze, appeasing the knot in his stomach. When he tightens the grip, Yuuri doesn’t even think of letting go – and that alone is enough reassurance for Victor. While nothing makes sense anymore, he's glad he's got something to hold on to.

“Are you… feeling better now?” The death asks, his concern shows in every move he makes. “I’m sorry this has to happen to you… you’re young and talented and you have so much more that you can accomplish… Sometimes Fate can be such a pain, huh?”

Victor watches tentatively; the way Yuuri’s cheeks redden as he showers him with compliment, and the way his long, black lashes brush his skin when he looks down. Divine being sure is different altogether.

“Um… Victor?”

“Has death… always been this beautiful?”

Yuuri’s eyes shot open like a deer caught in headlights. Even the way he reacts is pretty, Victor catches himself thinking. “Wh – Wha,”

“I’ve never been in love before,” Victor starts, not sure why he starts babbling. Perhaps because nothing matters anymore, now that he's no longer here. “I thought I was never been interested in that kind of thing, but I guess it’s because I have never seen someone like you before,”

“Vi – Victor, you’re just confused…” 

What the guy just said may be true, but Victor knows drowning in panic won't do the two of them any good. He brings their hands closer to his mouth. Yuuri’s skin smells of Jasmine. “What happened if I passed on? Will I see you again?”

Yuuri’s hand is shaking now; but he doesn't let himself concede. “No, I – What’s beyond there is no longer of my – “

Victor smiles as he closes the gap between Yuuri’s hand and his lips. A soft caress, barely a kiss. It feels heavenly, causing butterfly in his stomach. “And then what’s going to happen to me?” He says in a low voice, mouthing on Yuuri's pale skin.

Yuuri blinks in disbelief. “I – I wouldn’t know,” he stutters with blush spreading from and to his ears. Oh, he looks very adorable for Victor now. He doesn’t want to let go. Something about him is keeping Victor alive, no matter how ironic that sounds. It's just a simple spark, a comforting one, and though Victor had receive a lot of comfort from different kind of people, theirs are anything like this one. 

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Don’t want to… what?”

“Go through the light. To the afterlife.”

“We… Well it would cause a problem for me… but it’d be better than this, I promise you.”

"What is?"

"Life after death."

“How could you promise me something you don’t even know?”

Yuuri stills with a guilty look in his eyes that only serves to make Victor wants to tease him even further. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out, as time seems to stop for the two of them. Victor couldn’t hear the background noises anymore. The world gone quiet, he couldn’t even hear his own breath.


Yuuri swallows thickly. “As I said before, you’re in a state of confusion because of the shock and – “

“Let me stay with you.” 


In the background, people are taking Victor's limp body into the ambulance when someone announces that, unfortunately, they were too late. The trees rustle, letting the soft gust of wind blows them away, golden leaves flying above them.

And then it’s quiet once again.