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Say You Won't Let Go

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“Sawyer, stand down!” Alex searched Maggie’s eyes for any sign of life, but all she could see was pure emptiness. “Maggie, put the gun down.” She didn’t want to yell and cause a jerk reaction. For just a moment, Maggie paused and slightly lowered her weapon. This wasn’t Maggie. This wasn’t her Maggie. A month into their relationship and this was the kind of crap they were dealing with. Not jealousy or petty annoyances. No, their problems were a matter of life and death. Their problem involved a gun and a man, better yet an alien, one that almost killed Alex a few days ago.

***

It was supposed to be a routine operation, in and out. CADMUS set up shop at an abandon storage lot. From the intel Winn provided, the team would only be confronted with a few operatives as they were already moving out to relocate. What they didn’t expect, was it to be a set up for Alex. CADMUS sure loved to mess with her head. Jeremiah, of all people, was the new man in charge. It seemed like a bad dream that she couldn’t wake up from. Needless to say, she did not join up and had to fight off a few of her father’s henchmen, who, against her better judgment, were taking it easy on her. However, one of them didn’t let up. After stabbing her in the abdomen, her father knocked him out, and then knocked her out. The next thing Alex knows, she’s at the DEO, in the medical bay. Waking up to Kara and Maggie was her saving grace, but the information she now held had to come out eventually...

***

… Which brings us to this point in time, Maggie facing the man who stabbed her girlfriend. “Maggie, you are a good cop. Remember that, please remember that.”

“I’m not tonight.” Finally Maggie was talking.

“We need to find out what he knows. Please, do this for me.”

“I am doing this for you!” She was beginning to become more unhinged than Alex would’ve liked to see. She’s never seen this side of her. She’s seen the loving, caring Maggie Sawyer. Tonight, she was seeing another person entirely. Maggie knew what this operation was going to call for. She knew that they were going to come face to face with the alien that almost made her bleed out. Alex needed him alive though. That was the mission. Take him alive and find out what her father is really doing with CADMUS. She needed some reassurance that her dad was still her dad, that he didn’t fall victim to some ‘project’ they concocted.

“Mags…” Maggie still wouldn’t face Alex. “Babe, I need you to put down the gun. I need you too. Not the DEO, not the NCPD, but me.” Alex pleaded as best she could. “Please.” Thankfully, before they could see if her plea actually worked, Supergirl and J’onn stormed in and grabbed the assailant.

***

“Maggie what the hell were you doing back there?!” Finally they had a room to themselves and no crisis to have to wave off.

“What do you think I was doing?!” Maggie fired backed.

“You were compromising the mission creating an entirely new situation, one that would’ve pushed us back even more on this investigation!” They never fought. Not like this. They would bicker about cute things, like who looked more beautiful, or who had the better shot. They never actually had a full on argument though. Not until now.

“You know what you’re right.” Maggie’s voice got dangerously calm. “I just happened to see an opportunity to take out the bastard who almost took you out. So, forgive me for being such a god damn idiot, and wanting to kill the son of a bitch who left you bleeding out in my arms. Or wait, do you forget that I was the one who came barging in to save you?! The one who had to watch as the blood soaked through your shirt and onto my hands and clothes, watching the life drain from the woman I love!” She was too fired up to acknowledge the love confession she just gave Alex.

“Babe…” Alex didn’t know what to process first. She heard everything Maggie said, but froze at the last bit of words that came rumbling out of her mouth.

“You know what, forget it. You wouldn’t understand. You couldn’t understand.” She noticeably calmed down. Instead of anger, her eyes only showed sadness.

“I’m sorry Mags. I didn’t realize how hard it must have been for you. I don’t know what to do or say to make that better. I’m here. I’m alive. I’m not going anywhere.”

“That’s what they all say.” Maggie picked up her coat and began to walk out the door.

“Maggie, wait!”

“Maybe this was all just a big mistake.” She motioned between the two of them and stormed out of the DEO.

***

“You ok sis?” Kara snuck inside the room Alex was occupying.

“I… don’t know… what just happened.” Alex had no tears to give, just utter confusion at what took place. She’s a scientist after all. She needed to figure out what the actual problem was before she destroyed herself over it.

“Don’t kill me, but I heard a bit of what was said.” Alex instantly turned and glared at her younger sister. “I know, I know, I was just worried about you both. And I do mean you both.”

“What she did today could’ve cost her job. She could’ve lost everything that matters to her.” She threw her hands up in disbelief.

“Alex… she almost did. I almost did.” Kara walked over and put her hand in Alex’s. “I asked J’onn to come in with me because I knew if I walked in alone I would’ve killed him.” She paused and pushed a bit of hair out of Alex’s face. “I love you. I could never let anyone hurt you, and the thought that he did, it’s taken everything out of me to not go in there and end him.”

“Kara…”

“She loves you. That’s why she did it. That’s why she felt that way. You are her everything.” Alex clinched Kara’s hand fighting back any tears that wanted to make way down her soft brown eyes. “She’s not perfect. She almost did something out of character, and you will make those same mistakes. She is however, perfect for you.”

“I don’t know how to fix things.”

“You don’t need to fix anything. You did nothing wrong. But, neither did she.” Alex rested her head on Kara’s shoulder. “Go, talk to her. She would want you with her.”

***

When she arrived at the door, she hesitated before knocking. She was running through everything she was going to tell her. She was running through the day and the previous week. She cracked a smile when she realized that Maggie was in this same position a month ago, beer and pizza in hand. She finally brought herself to knock on her door.

The door slowly opened and the sight of Maggie in her boy shorts and long sleeve shirt that showed just enough of her shoulder and scar from when she got shot. “Hey, gorgeous, hungry?”

She opened the door just a little bit more, signaling Alex to come in. “I’m actually starving.” She muttered under her breath, but just enough for Alex to hear it and smile.

“I’m sorry babe.” She couldn’t wait any longer. Pizza or not, her priority was the immaculately stunning woman standing in front of her.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You were right.” She swallowed deeply. “We had a mission and I let my emotions get the best of me.”

Alex was running through her previously planned speech she said out loud on the bike ride over, none of which included Maggie saying she was right. Unscripted was the way she needed to go. She took a deep breath and moved closer to her girlfriend. “I thought I was going to die.” She looked away and immediately turned back to look into Maggie’s eyes. That’s where she felt safest. “Even before I was stabbed, the second I saw… my dad… I thought I was done.”

“You don’t need to tell me this, love. You don’t have to relive this.” Her hands reached to Alex’s arms.

“But I do.” A soft smile formed. “Out of all of the possible thoughts I could be having, mainly with seeing my dad, the only thing that came to mind was you. Not Kara. Not my job. Just you. And when I started to fight, the only thing that kept me together was the thought of seeing that beautiful smile of yours. When he stabbed me, all I could see was your eyes, and it calmed me. You, gorgeous, frustrating, hilarious, pain in my ass Maggie Sawyer, were the only thing that I could think of. The only thing that kept me going.” Maggie instantly fell into her arms, silently weeping within her shoulder. “I don’t know what you had to deal with. I thank you so much for saving me, not only in that moment, but in every moment since I’ve met you.” She softly pushed Maggie off of her so she could look at her. “I am so sorry that I snapped at you. This, you and me, we are not a mistake. We are magic. I am sorry that I didn’t understand why you would throw your career away over that guy.”

Before she could finish, Maggie cut in. “Because he almost took the one thing that matters from me.”

“You refrained more than I would’ve.” Maggie did her signature head tilt. “I…”

“Stop saying sorry beautiful.”

“I wasn’t going to.” She tries to regain all the nerve she had just lost.

“Then what was it?”

“Before you, I only loved one person, and that’s Kara. I’d do anything for her. But then you came into my life.” She looked at the ground and slowly reached Maggie’s eyes once more. All nerves went away. She knew that whatever she said next would be ok. “I love you.”

Instead of a response, Maggie gasped and immediately went in for a kiss. They’ve kissed many of times, but this was something on another other worldly level. This was passion set on fire. This was love in its purest form. This was Alex and Maggie.

“I love you too.”