Chapter 1: Things that put Frank on the naughty list
Things that landed Frank on the naughty list
1985 age 6
Opened up everyone's gifts so when they came down on Christmas morning all the gifts where already unwrapped. Franks dad was not amused to see his smoked sausage and cheese on the floor!
1986 age 7
Put on his scariest Halloween costume and went trick or treating on Christmas Eve. Miss Nestor just shook her head and told Frank to go home before he got sick.
1987 age 8
The year his parents took him to see Santa and he yelled at Santa for being a Halloween thief and punched him in the nose until security removed him and asked his mom not to come back! That was the year they started talking about military school!
1988 age 9
Started singing the Oogie Boogie theme song while he did a bump and grind during his solo for the Christmas program! The nuns had seriously tried talking Father Thomas into performing an exorcism on Frank!
1989 age 10
Tried to cover the town Christmas tree with silly string! Who knew silly string and candles was a bad idea!
1990 age 11
Rigged up a tape recorder in his church so that during the Christmas program it started and all you could hear is Vincent Price reciting the opening he did in Michael Jacksons thriller video! The priest still had him in the front pew so he could keep an eye on him!
1991 age 12
He saved his coal for 5 years so he could put it in everyone else's stockings and putting their stuff in his! Yeah, they didn't think It was so funny then!
1992 age 13
Showed his 6-8 yr old cousins the movie krampus right before Christmas! Three of them started peeing the bed again worried about how bad they had been all year!
1993 age 14
Replaced the chocolate with exlax in his moms fudge recipe! Now people ask his mom to please leave her wonderful fudge at home!
1994 age 15
Used a potato launcher to launch year old fruit cake at the Christmas Carolers it was the year of the drive by fruit caking! Watching them dive headfirst into the bushes had Frank laughing for days!
1994 age 15
He stole the baby Jesus from the nativity scene and replaced it with a chucky doll and the wise men with ghosts! Ok, so maybe that was taking it a bit too far, but nothing he could do about that now!
1995 age 16
Put loaded mouse traps in everyone's stockings! He didn't know his uncle suffered from brittle bones!
1995 age 16
Put a firecracker into the Christmas turkey and lit the fuse! They where still finding pieces of turkey and stuffing 6 months later!
1996 age 17
Went to the stores during the Christmas Holliday and demanded they help him find a costume for Halloween and threatening to tell the manager if they didn't help him. The poor sales clerk didn't know how to respond to that, especially after the lecture he got last week about the customer always being right! Poor Patrick had gone to the storage room probably never to be seen again frank assumed right up until he came back with the coolest costume frank had seen in a long time!
1996 age 17
Snuck over to Mr Hendricks house and replaced all his Christmas decorations with a zombie apocalypse on Christmas Eve. It wouldn't have been so bad if Mr Hendricks wasn't blind as a bat. The poor man ended up calling 911 hysterically to report a the dead body's on his front lawn!
1997 age 18
Made a snowman massacre, complete with red snow and dismembered reindeer in his front yard! The Christmas lights tour decided to skip his street after that year!
Chapter 2: Xmas sucks
1995 Christmas morning
"What did you get for Christmas Frankie" his mom asked. Frank turned around a black rock in his little fist, "I hate Christmas, " he screamed as he threw the rock down and ran out of the room. While his cousin Zack got candy and an action figure in his stocking, every year it was the same thing. As the years went by he grew to loath the holiday more and more.
1995 Christmas morning
"What did you get for Christmas Franki" his mom asked. Frank turned around a black rock in his little fist, "I hate Christmas, " he screamed as he threw the rock down and ran out of the room. While his cousin Zack got candy and an action figure in his stocking, every year it was the same thing. As the years went by he grew to loath the holiday more and more.
3:30 am Christmas morning
Blizzard, North Pole
Gerard sat on the overstuffed chair drinking coffee and pretending not to listen to his parents discuss frank again. Frank was the boy Gerard was promised to marry and let's just say his parents were less then pleased with him. But Gerard was overjoyed with his fate (Gramma) chosen mate Frank was sexy, funny, loved animals, horror movies, comics, and was the smoking hot frontman in a band. Ok, so maybe he had a bit of a reputation for pulling not so nice stunts on or around Christmas. But Gerard didn't care about that he actually kinda thought some of it was pretty funny, one of his favorites was when Frank used a potato launcher to launch year old fruit cake at the Christmas Carolers I mean, come everyone knew those songs where annoying and needed to be done away with along with all that fruitcake so really he was doing everyone a huge service!
But Gerard's parents didn't see it that way he'd been listening to them discuss Frank for years. One of his dad's biggest complaints was about the time franks parents took him to see Santa and he yelled at Gerards dad for being a Halloween thief and punched him in the nose! "He darn near broke my nose Donna" Gerards dad cried in protest to which his mom just told him "franks a little boy how much damage could one little boy do?" Gerard thought that was hilarious and god knows he has wanted to do the same but didn't have the guts. I mean his dad's Santa but you tell me one kid who never wanted to punch their dad and I'll prove you wrong! His mom hadn't been so overjoyed about Frank replacing the chocolate with exlax in his mothers fudge recipe and vowed he'd never be let near her kitchen. Then at 16 Frank put a firecracker into the Christmas turkey, causing her to reinforce the doors and locks to keep I'm out!
"He's a menace" his dad turns to him glaring over his glasses "and you it's all your fault" he said. At his comment Gerard looked guilty, but we will get more into that later. Gerard stood up "I don't really have time for this dad you have a vacation to take and a retirement to plan, "he said, "and I have a betrothed to go get besides do you want to go against Gramma" he asked before he kissed his mom on the cheek. He put on the red jacket and cap before walking out to the sleigh. "Ok guys, " he said, looking at the team of reindeer "we have half an hour to get there" and off they went.
4:00 am Xmas morning
Belleville, New Jersey
Two simple words meant to wish good cheer, but all Frank could do was feel nothing but a bitter loathing for them and everything they represented to him. On top of all that his mom drops a major bomb on him in that he's betrothed to some guy he never met! So he didn't feel quit so bad about the pranks he's pulled over the years in protest of Christmas. Besides this helliday had just fucked his life over from the beginning, and now at 4 am some asshole was coming down his chimney probably to steal his tv and maybe vomit more Christmas crap all over his crappy apartment and life!
Chapter 3: Bats, coffee, and fated mates
Frank finds himself facing the asshole who he's boycotted all these years only to find that this asshole is also his husband to be here to claim him
Gerard lands the sleigh on top of franks roof hits the button that will make it all invisible to the human eye and gets out giving the reindeer a affectionate pat before he turns towards the chimney he takes a deep breath "well here goes nothing" he says before he starts down the chimney. He's not surprised when he's greeted by a "don't move fucker" growled in his direction by Frank trying to look menacing and holding a bat at the ready.
"Hi Frankie" he says with a huge smile, "I've been looking forward to this for so very long!" and with that said he starts forward only to hesitate when Frank raises the bat. "Frankie didn't your mom tell you I was coming" Gerard said with a slightly sad look on his face. All this time he had waited and looked forward to this moment and maybe Frank didn't want him.
Frank paused at the mention of his mom only to tighten his grip on the bat and growl through clenched teeth, "what do you mean about my mom?" He was starting to get an idea and what he was thinking wasn't making him happy. Could his mom really hate him so much she'd send his fiancé down the chimney dressed as that old fat bastard he despised and not tell him of franks hate for any and everything Christmas? "Wait a minute, are you the idiot who I'm supposed to marry because I gotta tell you this ain't the Middle Ages and stuff like arranged marriages ended along time ago.
Gerard looked so sad as he sat down on franks sofa and asked "do you have any coffee" that frank lowered his bat and with a nod went to the kitchen to fix a couple of cups for them. Not to mention his head was spinning because not only was this guy sexy as fuck but he smelled like "hot chocolate" and the smell was intoxicating. He shook his head as if to clear it and tried to remind himself that he didn't want to be married and he didn't want to climb into the guys lap and stay there.
Frank finished getting the coffee ready and with a couple of deep breaths turned and walked back into the living room "by the way, what's your name, " he asked, handing Gerard a cup before taking a seat across from him, "also you should know if you try anything, I will kick your ass!" He also made a mental note to call his mom later and let her know how pissed he really was!
Gerard took the offered cup with a smile and after a long drink and a "thank you" he sighed and looked frank in the eye "my name is Gerard and I'm supposed to marry you fate said so, " he paused "You my sweet Frankie are everything I ever wanted and I have been waiting for this for 18 years" he said the last part with a huge grin causing frank to choke on his coffee.
"What do you mean years" frank sputtered "we have only just met you know nothing about me! Another thing you're really not my type I don't go for the whole Christmas thing" he lied because Santa suit aside, he was really having a hard time to not just straddle Gerard and tell him what he really wanted for Christmas. "If you knew one thing about me you'd know that. I mean, look at my apartment does it scream I love christmas to you?" He said sarcastically.
"No, not really and I'm sorry for that it's my fault" Gerard said, biting his lip and peeking up at frank through his eyelashes. "What do you mean your fault? How can my hate for Christmas really be your fault, " Frank asked as he felt his cock start to get hard at the sight of Gerard biting his lip. "Well I guess I better start at the beginning, but you gotta promise you'll listen to everything I say with an opened mind." Gerard started.
Chapter 4: Sometimes explanations have to wait
Gerard tries to explain Frank snaps
There is a smut warning further down the page if smuts not for you skip that part to where it says end of Smut
"Well, I guess I better start at the beginning, but you gotta promise you'll listen to everything I say with an opened mind." Gerard started.
With an affirmative nod from Frank and a wave of his hand to continue Gerard started " ok so what has your mom told you?" he asked. "What do you mean other then the fact that I'm engaged to some guy I've never met what's there to know, " he asked while trying to keep his mind off the fact that his dick was starting to throb almost painfully, his house was smelling like a Starbucks, and Gerard was the prettiest guy he had ever seen.
"Alright, so let me first give you a few facts about myself and we will move on from there" Gerard said. "First my name is Gerard Arthur Way and I'm 22 I love coffee, art, crappy horror movies, good music, and comics. Second, I have one brother named Mikey and work in the family business for my father.
Third and most importantly, my grandma told me I was going to marry the most beautiful boy and live happy ever after. He looked at frank and couldn't help but blush and smile softly "she is never wrong."
"Hay Gerard I hate to break it to you, but this isn't a fairy tale where they live happily ever after. Fate doesn't exist!" Frank started to get angry because a part of him wished so very much that it could possibly be true. Gerard recoiled in horror "please don't say that grandma would be so upset, " he said "besides you promised to listen with an opened mind" he reminded frank. "Alright, go ahead I did promise" Frank sighed and tried to adjust his pants.
"Ok, so this year I'm supposed to take over the family business, but first I came to get you now that your 18. We have a whole year to have our honeymoon and get to know each other. I also want to make sure you and sweetpea are happy in our new home, " he said as he looked down at the little dog laying there chewing on a stuffed Santa. Frank also looked at his little dog and thought it strange that not once had she barked at the stranger who had invaded her home in fact she looked very calm.
Frank looked back up at Gerard and raised a single brow questioningly in a way Gerard found adorable. "So now comes the opened mind part, " he said and swallowed quickly. While he figured how to explain the rest to Frank "mydadissantaclausyouranelfandimthereasonyouhatechristmas" he rushed out in one breath. "Whoa whoa whoa what did you just say because I think you said something about Santa, made a crack about my height, and blamed yourself for my hatred of Christmas!?" He looked at Gerard like he'd lost his mind. Gerard just looks back with red cheeks and nods like a bobble head "yeah, that about covers it except for the thing about your height" he sighs. Frank stands up and starts pacing "ok start with Santa, what's that all about, " he said and then he snapped.
Maybe it was the smell in his house, driving him crazy or maybe it was how hard his dick was throbbing, it could have been how pretty Gerard looked spouting crazy talk out of his pretty mouth, it could have been that it was 4:00 am he glanced at the clock (seriously, why was it still 4am) or maybe just maybe it was the fact that he was a virgin who had never that's right the smoking hot frontman of leathermouth has never had a boyfriend, sex, or even a kiss. It was probably all of these things.
( Smut warning smut warning )
Next thing he knew is he was nailing Gerard to the sofa with one hand gripping his jacket the other in his hair, straddling his hips while he ran his nose along his neck inhaling his scent. As he brought his mouth close to Gerards ear, he murmured "we will talk about this later, but you smell so fucking good I really need a taste." With that said, he claimed Gerards lips with a moan straight out of porn nibbling and sucking on his bottom lip and grinding his clothed cock against Gerards like his life depended on it.
With a groan Gerard flipped them over so Frank was on his back and he settled in between his legs. One hand gripping the back of Franks neck the other held his twitching hips still while Gerard fought the urge to just claim him. "Frankie, god I really want you too, but if we don't stop" his words where silenced by Frank, who in desperation had flipped them once again "shut the fuck up and kiss me before I lose my mind, " he panted, face looking so needy like every wet dream Gerard had ever had, heavy lidded eyes full of lust, mouth agape, with red swollen lips and then he once again claimed Gerards lips deeping the kiss.
Gerard knew they couldn't do what they both desperately wanted, but he couldn't just stop so with a whine, he met kiss with hot and sloppy kiss mostly teeth and tongue, hands groping. The friction between them was not really enough, but oh it felt so good. Soon Frank was sucking on Gerards tongue tasting candy cane in every kiss making obscene noises in the back of his throat. Gerard needed to do something with what little brain he had left because he was drowning in the feel and scent of frank. So he pulled his mouth away to catch a breath "hold on sugar, " he said exposing his jaw and neck to Franks greedy assault. Then he reached between them and opened Franks pants only to find nothing but hot throbbing flesh "Such a dirty boy Frankie" he said.
Gerard gripped Franks leaking cock and pulled it out, causing Frank to buck hard into his hand and beg "please Gee." That did Gerard in and he panted, "Frankie I need you to open my pants I I-can't let go" he was shaking from trying to hold back. Frank reached down and after a bit of fumbling got Gerards cock out of his pants giving it a firm squeeze. Gerard opened his hand enough to press their cocks together, wrapping his fingers around both causing them to groan and start thrusting. Soon he was stroking them hard and fast with one hand and panting into Franks mouth while the other ran down to grab a hand full of Franks ass.
Frank was above him holding Gerards hip tightly while his other arm supported him as he thrust into Gerards fist. Gerard stroked them faster and with a twist of his wrist and a slide of his thumb over the head sent both falling over the edge. Frank felt the tightening in his stomach and the heat all the way to his toes. His eyes closed, he leaned down and kissed Gerard swallowing both their cries as they came hard painting both stomachs and cloths.
( End of Smut End of Smut)
After they lay there spent sharing soft kisses and breathing in the scent of each other wrapped in this perfect moment. Reality came crashing back down on them all too soon in the form of one tiny little dog. Sweetpea sat up and whimpered, not sure what to make of what just happened. "Omg we did not just do that and in front of sweetpea" Frank sat up quickly and backed away from Gerard a look of horror on his face "what the fuck was that " he cried, "Gerard, I owe you an apology, I'm so sorry I don't know what came over me" he quickly ran to the bathroom and grabbed some towels cleaning himself up before bringing one back to Gerard.
Gerard cleaned himself up with a sigh, "Frankie it's ok, I wanted it just as much as you did." He walked over and wrapped his arms around Franks shoulders and kissed the top of his head.
Chapter 5: You can't fight fate
Gerard sits frank down to tell him the truth
Gerard cleaned himself up with a sigh, "Frankie it's ok, I wanted it just as much as you did." He walked over and wrapped his arms around Franks shoulders and kissed the top of his head.
"Ok, so come have a seat" Gerard said as he pulled Frank over to the sofa. Gerard sat down and put his arms around Frank "So to start my dad is Santa Claus and I'm due to take over this year. The title has been in my family for generations." He felt Frank slightly stiffen in his arms but he continued. "You sugar are half elf and are destined to be my mate. It's in fates books from the moment you were born, actually before that it was in there that the first born child of Linda Iero would wed the first born child of Donna way. That's you and me, just like the title of Santa is inherited through the father's line the fated mates happen through the mother's line."
So far Frank hadn't made a move so he continued "when I was little my grandma told me about you. I wanted to see you I was so excited that I couldn't wait. I mean to know there was someone out there made just for me. Someone who would love me and make every dream I had come true. She said they would be the father of my children." He paused and kissed the top of Franks head, a smile on his face at the memory.
"I was so very excited that I bribed one of the elves to bring me down to Bellville so I could sneak a peek at you on your first birthday. That's when Christmas started showing up in the shops at Halloween time. The elf needed to fix it so we blended in because a little kid with green eyes, hair this color of red, and skin this pale hanging out with a short pointy eared guy who kinda had a glow would have stuck out! Dad was not pleased, but he went along with it because he loves me! When I saw you, oh Frankie you were so beautiful and I couldn't stay away so every year I'd sneak down to see you. I'm sorry I messed up Halloween for you, please forgive me.
He closed his eyes tight just waited for Frank to call him a liar or crazy. When that didn't happen he opened his eyes only to find Frank frozen in place, his eyes wide in shock. He jumped up and spun around "Gramma, I know you're here" he said to the empty room. He heard a chuckle from behind him and turned around "Gramma" he said with a frown "do you wanna tell me why you froze my mate?" Elena gave Frank and Gerard a look "because dear he doesn't believe a word of it and wasn't going to listen to anything else."
Gerard turned to Frank with a sad look "Frankie is that true" he asked and felt as if his heart was gonna break. Frank just sat there frozen, unable to move or speak. In his eyes Gerard saw so many emotions, fear, surprise, anger, hope, and something else Gerard wasn't expecting. "Gramma let him go so we can talk please!" He pleaded.
"Fine I'll let him loose, " she stood on tippy toes and kissed Gerard on the forehead before turning to frank "I've known you since you were born Frank and I expect you to listen with your heart to what my grandson has said and when he brings you home, I want you to come for tea and we can talk about your music and maybe you'll play me something, " she leaned down kissed Frank on the head before standing back up to look at them both "oh the things you two will do I just can't wait" she said and just like that disappeared.
Frank leaped up from the sofa "Gerard did that just, was there just, please tell me I didn't just imagine your grandmother a minute ago" he squeaked his voice not quit it's self. Gerard smiled "yeah, that was Gramma" he chuckled before he turned serious "so Frankie do you forgive me?" he asked. Frank looked at Gerard with an unreadable expression "First, I have a few questions and I need to talk to my mom" he said.
After taking his phone out and calling his mom, he grabbed Gerards hand "ok, let's go she's waiting" he said and started for the door. Gerard started to follow only to stop suddenly "oh crap the reindeer and sleigh" he cried, pulling out his phone that started ringing before he could even dial a number "yes Gramma, yeah, that's why I was calling, I kinda forgot Gramma" he said "ok love you too and thank you."
Frank raised an eyebrow in question "that was Gramma she said tell your mom hi and she yelled at me for forgetting about the reindeer and sleigh that was on your roof. Also tell me she sent them home, but they will be back to pick us up later"Gerard said in reply before taking franks hand and walking out the door.
Chapter 6: Talking is good
Breakfast, photobooks, accustations, explanations, and tears oh my
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Once they got to Linda's house Frank was nervous because he's never brought a guy home before let alone someone he may or may not be spending the rest of his life with. But Gerard just gave his hand a squeeze, opened the door like he lived there and walked right in.
Linda came over and gave Frank a big hug and kiss before turning and doing the same to Gerard. "Gerard sweety it's so nice to see you again " she smiled before turning to Frank "listen frank I know you have a lot of questions but let's all have breakfast first then we can talk ok honey" and with that she led them into the kitchen. Frank was kind of in a daze why was his mom so friendly with Gerard and acting like they where old friends.
They all sat down to eat and Linda talked about the church service and mentioned that the nuns and Father Thomas had asked about Frank wondering how he was doing. "Probably still planing that exorcism" Frank chuckled remembering the song and dance he had done. Linda and Gerard started laughing "you looked so cute though" Gerard laughed wiping the tears from his face. Frank just looked at his mom and wondered how Gerard knew about that because it was still to unreal to believe that Gerard was who he said he was.
He was so lost in watching Gerard that he was snapped out of his thoughts when Gerard called his name "ah what could you repeat that" he asked a blush staining his cheeks. "Your mom asked if you where done eating" Gerard repeated. Frank blushed bright red "oh ya thanks for breakfast mom" he mumbled as he stood to collect the dishes.
"Why don't you go in and get comfortable while I finish these dishes dear, and Gerard you know where the photo albums are" Linda's said waving her hand towards the front room. "Oh god no please mom not that" Frank half begged half groaned. Linda just chuckled " honey it's nothing he hasn't seen before" she said with a roll of her eyes. "what what do you mean" frank stammered. "I have copy's at home Frankie besides it's just us" Gerard said trying to reassure frank.
Soon they where sitting on the love-seat with a photo album on Gerards lap while looking at pictures of frank drooling all over the place. "Hay Gerard wanna come see my room my moms kept it just as it was sence I moved out" he said trying to distract Gerard from what he knew was coming up. "Hold on Frankie I love this next picture of you it's just so adorable" Gerard said with a giggle.
Frank suppressed a groan and then there it was the picture, the one nobody wants anyone to see but for some reason parents just have to take. Yep that's right lady's and gentlemen there was Frank and his naked ass laying on a bear skinned rug and him smiling like an imp for the camera. Soon Linda was joining them with coffee and cooing right along with Gerard over the tiny birthmark on his left butt cheek.
But then of course it had to get worse because the next bunch of pictures where of Frank in the tub. God was this embarrassing and why weren't there enough bubbles in that tub. The next few minutes where some of the most embarrassing of Franks life as he watched his mom and Gerard go through page after page.
Frank got up to use the bathroom and when he came back he decided to sit in the chair next to the love-seat and just think about the last few hours. Soon he was feeling like an idiot because it was right there in front of him. "So mom how long has this been going on" he asked looking from her to Gerard. "Since you where born" his mom answered with a confused look on her face. Soon her and Gerard where back to talking about his most embarrassing moments like he wasn't there and he was starting to get mad feeling like he'd been played.
As Frank thought the madder he became. Was this all a big joke to get back at him for all his bad behavior and pranks. Did she really want him gone bad enough to concoct a engagement story? He stood up "I don't believe this"he yelled causing both his mother and that red headed fraud to jump in shock. "Believe what sweetheart" his mom asked a surprised look on her face. "What's going on Frankie" Gerard asked reaching for Franks hand to pull him back down next to him.
"You almost had me, god you must think I'm so stupid!" He yelled jerking his hand away. "What" Gerard and Linda both started to say but Frank cut them off "just save it, I can't believe you'd do this to me" he ranted while they still didn't know what to think. "Who was that old lady at my house, or was that a trick did you drug me" he accused. Gerard physically flinched and looked like he was ready to cry. "Frank sit your ass down and stop screaming in my damn house" his mom yelled.
Frank froze, his mom never cussed at him not even when he really acted bad so he sat down. "Now Frank I know this is a lot to take in but I'm really hurt that you think I'd stoop to such trickery" linda said and Frank could tell she was trying really hard not to yell. "The fact is I am an elf and you my son are half elf that is just how it is." She pressed her hand to his cheek "Now I know you have questions so let's get them out of the way so you and Gerard can get busy making me some grandbabys!" She said with a genial smile before sitting back down.
Gerard had been quiet this whole time and Frank finally glanced at him only to see the cheerful look gone from Gerards face. Instead his eyes glittered with unshed tears that ripped at Franks heart. He felt like he had been punched in the stomach "Omg Gerard I'm so sorry this is just so hard to believe but please don't cry" Frank begged going over to sit next to Gerard and hugged him close as tears streamed brown both their faces. "Frankie I could never trick you like that and I'd never drug you. You own my heart already please believe me!" Frank just held him and nodded.
Frank took a deep breath and knew he couldn't just sit there anymore and not talk so he turned towards his mom and took Gerards hand as much for Gerards comfort as his own. "Mom, I guess I just don't understand why didn't you ever tell me, especially when you knew how much I hate Christmas" at this Gerard winced Frank gave his hand a reassuring little squeeze.
"When we left Blizzard we agreed not to talk about it because we couldn't risqué people finding out and you didn't always hate Christmas that came a little later, " she said, glancing at Gerard "and by then I was worried you wouldn't believe me or wouldn't handle it well. Plus, you were always so sick because being part elf living in warmer climates and some human foods don't work well with your metabolism I was worried you'd resent me" she spoke her voice a whisper now tears running down her face.
"I gave everything up to marry your dad, but when we got divorced i staid so you could be close to your dad and grandpa." Frank let go of Gerard and pulled his mom into his arms hugging her as tight as he could "I love you mom, please know that I love you and I'm so so sorry you are the best mom ever" he whispered kissing her cheek, his eyes overflowing with the tears her heartbreaking words caused. "So were elves does that mean we have to be full of cheer he asked, trying to make her smile " because I gotta tell you I don't know if I can do that and I really can't see me rocking green tights"
Frank had lots of questions and they talked for hours, but soon it was time to leave. Frank realized he wanted to be with Gerard but when he found out he would be living in Christmas hell he bulked because Gerard or no Gerard he couldn't just change how he felt. But after much talking, he agreed to give it a shot so they packed up a bag for him and grabbed Sweet Pea before hopping into the sleigh (Gerards Gramma had sent it back) then they were off with Gerard promising elf movers would pack his stuff and have it at their new home tomorrow.
One chapter left and i hope to have it up tomorrow
Chapter 7: Sleigh rides, family, and happy endings
More questions, meeting the family and Two years down the road
As they were headed up to Blizzard frank and Gerard were talking just getting to know each other because the sleigh had crappy Christmas music (but frank had plans to change that) and frank really couldn't believe how much they had in common. He could imagine spending evenings cuddled up with snacks, watching crappy horror movies. Maybe listening to some music in front of the fire. Maybe sneaking down to catch a punk show. Gerard also told him he could still do the whole band thing and he couldn't wait to set up the first punk show Blizzard had ever seen but Gerard assured him the elves would love it! Gerard also wanted to put him on canvas and in his comic Umbrella Academy, he was shocked when he found out Gerard wrote it because he was a fan.
Then he asked one of the questions he was dying to know because it had always bugged him.
"So where does the whole coal thing come from" He asked? Gerards cheeks got red and he hesitated, but then just told the truth. "So the original Santa said if kids were gonna act like little shits he'd give them some and so he did" He said.
Franks eyes bulged and he kinda wanted to wash his hands because ew "Let me get this straight You mean you've been shitting in my stocking all these years!" Frank cried shock on his face. Gerard laughed so hard he almost lost control of the sleigh soon he calmed down and wiped the tears off his cheeks, but he was still chuckling as he said "no that was my dad but don't be upset you already paid him back."
"Paid him back how do you mean" Frank asked confused. "He said you almost broke his nose. He said he didn't know an 8 yr old could hit that hard. He also told me to never piss you off because you have a strong right hook." Gerard replied. "Wait, so that really was your dad, " he groaned because he was gonna be meeting him soon. "Hope he doesn't hold a grudge" frank mumbled "its gonna be fine Frankie I promise" Gerard reassured him.
So basically you guys shit coal, is it all the time do we need to add fiber to your diet" he snickered. "Can you stop or is it just for Christmas?" He asked hopefully. Gerard just chuckled "I've never done it and am not looking forward to that part of things. But that's how it's done because I can't lug all that coal around. Besides the reindeer would refuse to pull the sleigh, but the milk and cookies help a lot, at least that's what my dad told me!" He added with a grin.
Frank couldn't help looking at how beautiful Gerard was most guys are described as handsome, but beautiful was the word that came to mind every time he looked at Gerard and that brought the next question to his mind. "Hay Gerard what was all that talk about me being the father of your children and moms talk about making grandbabys I got the feeling it wasn't about adoption?" He asked kinda nervous.
Gerard blushed to his roots "oh that.. No, actually.. Well, you see it's like this.. What you have to understand is we aren't human and you're only half human and well we carry the babies girls don't. It's also the reason neither of us have ever wanted anyone else. It's part of our DNA we have magical sperm which is why we don't feel the need for sex until we meet our mate and become adults. We can carry the baby's because like being Santa comes from the father so does the ability to have baby's and your dad was human. Frank kinda nodded "Cool I have super sperm" he said with a grin.
His smile quickly vanished once Gerard told him they were getting ready to land. Gerard's Gramma was there to meet them along with everyone else. Let's just say franks a celebrity and very infamous. He didn't disappoint, especially when he turned to Gerard's mom and dad and without missing a beat kinda chuckled and said "its nice to meet you, sir sorry about your nose and is that maple fudge I smell. Let's just say it's a good thing Elena had some smelling salts in her front pocket.
Two years later and not much has changed. By now it's kind of tradition for frank to pull some stunt. This year he got the elf decorators to do the whole house, the tree, and everything in Halloween decor before Donna and Don complained. Elena just chuckled and shook her head. Gerard thought it was brilliant and hilarious!
Although the coal in the stocking isn't happening anymore, at least not real coal (not that Gerard minds, it was one of the things he hadn't been looking forward to). After Frank threatened to castrate Gerard he happily agreed. So the kitchen came up with a nice candy coal for the kids who might not be quite as sweet as they should be. It tastes like licorice and turns the teeth and mouth black. Gerard couldn't resist filling franks stocking full of it! Gerards dad thought it was brilliant and had a new respect for his son in law. He even stopped twitching every time Frank talked because he had a habit of waving his hands around.
Frank had upgrades put on the sleigh to. It now blasts all Franks favorite music instead of standard Christmas crap. It also has a coffee machine that Frank had installed as a surprise for Gerard. The sled also has cruise control and fully reclining seats because he is a newlywed and who given half the chance wouldn't wanna make love to their husband anytime they got the chance! Screw the mile high club they got nothing on him and Gerard! The glove compartment holds some of franks favorite props and toys, what can he say he's a dirty little elf.
Frank even has a whole kit in the sleigh for any four legged baby's they find, complete with bottles and heated blankets. He also had a teleportation device installed so they can send any puppy's or kittens they find to the waiting elves for immediate care and prepping to put under Christmas trees for good little kids (after oking it with the parents of course). The ones who are to sick or have other needs stay in the blizzard animal hospital. Frank has final say on what happens to them all.
Sweetpea also has the time of her life chasing the Christmas mice and her siblings. So far the Iero-Ways have 29,736,450 dogs and cats who they have found homes for. Another 500 have been brought home to the North Pole where they were adopted by the elves or came to live with Frank and Gerard. It's a passion of Franks that Gerard very much supports and loves.
Frank and Gerard had a meeting with all the retailers who were putting Christmas stuff out at Halloween. They tried to get them to push it back till just before thanksgiving because of Black Friday but quit a few declined. They are on the naughty list and gramma says they should come around in another two years but it's a work in progress.
Frank, James, and Ed from his old band are still together, but changed the name to death spells and only put out one album with minor touring. They have plans for the future, it kinda helps that they are also from the North Pole. James works in many different departments up there. Ed works in the music department and fixes up instruments for kids on the nice list. They have been part of both of his and Gerards lives from the beginning.
Soon Frank and Gerard will be welcoming their own bundle of Christmas joy into the family. Gerard is expecting in 2 months and him and frank have talked about how many kids they will have. Gerard finally asked do you wanna ask fate frank nodded yes, so they called his gramma. She told them she saw four little ones and then her face got really pale and she changed the subject. No matter how much they asked, she wouldn't discuss it further, except to tell them 4 was enough, but after that every once in a while they would catch her mumbling about being run over by a reindeer.